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681 | 2 | 1 | A Rickle in Time | All Summers | Are those cats? |
682 | 2 | 1 | A Rickle in Time | All Ricks | I assume they're Schrodinger's cats. A-actually, I assume they both are and aren't, just like us. |
684 | 2 | 1 | A Rickle in Time | All Ricks | “Mom and Dad?” Get your head out of your family's ass. The three of us are lost in a timeless oblivion. Your parents get to exist. They're probably living it up in some pointless grounded story about their shitty marriage. |
685 | 2 | 1 | A Rickle in Time | Jerry | Cold Stone Creamery is the best. What should we do with our remaining twenty dollars? |
686 | 2 | 1 | A Rickle in Time | Beth | You realize they sing no matter how much you tip. |
687 | 2 | 1 | A Rickle in Time | Beth | Holy shit! What happened? |
688 | 2 | 1 | A Rickle in Time | Jerry | I hit a deer! W-we have to tell the cops you were driving. |
689 | 2 | 1 | A Rickle in Time | Beth | W-what? |
690 | 2 | 1 | A Rickle in Time | Jerry | This is Rum Raisin! |
691 | 2 | 1 | A Rickle in Time | Beth | It's still alive. |
692 | 2 | 1 | A Rickle in Time | Jerry | Well, do we- do I uh, get a big rock? Or-- |
693 | 2 | 1 | A Rickle in Time | Beth | It's not an armadillo, asshole! |
694 | 2 | 1 | A Rickle in Time | Jerry | I thought that's what a man's supposed to say, it's not like I could have actually done it. |
695 | 2 | 1 | A Rickle in Time | Beth | If we were near a hospital, I could treat it, but I-I think we have to just- |
696 | 2 | 1 | A Rickle in Time | Jerry | It's okay, this is just something that happens. And even if we were in a hospital, what could we do, you're a horse surgeon, not a deer surgeon. |
697 | 2 | 1 | A Rickle in Time | Beth | So... |
698 | 2 | 1 | A Rickle in Time | Jerry | Well don't different animals- |
699 | 2 | 1 | A Rickle in Time | Beth | Require different levels of skill to keep alive? |
700 | 2 | 1 | A Rickle in Time | Jerry | Oh God... |
701 | 2 | 1 | A Rickle in Time | Beth | Get the deer in the car, Jerry. |
702 | 2 | 1 | A Rickle in Time | Jerry | Yes Beth. |
703 | 2 | 1 | A Rickle in Time | All Ricks | This is why you don't freeze time, you guys. It's incredibly irresponsible.Morty 1 |
704 | 2 | 1 | A Rickle in Time | Morty 2 | And you did it so you could clean the house after a party? |
705 | 2 | 1 | A Rickle in Time | All Ricks | Look, there's no time to hold me accountable, Morty. Like literally no time. Look around. Uncertainty is inherently unsustainable. Eventually everything either is or isn't. And we've got about four hours to be “is”. |
706 | 2 | 1 | A Rickle in Time | Morty 1 | Or... |
707 | 2 | 1 | A Rickle in Time | Morty 2 | Or? |
708 | 2 | 1 | A Rickle in Time | All Ricks | We “isn't” |
709 | 2 | 1 | A Rickle in Time | All Ricks | Alright, since this time crystal exists in both possibilities, and since it's impossible that I didn't nail this, I'm probably about to press this button in both possibilities at exactly the same time. |
711 | 2 | 1 | A Rickle in Time | All Ricks | Whatever you're asking, the answer is I'm amazing. And away we go! |
712 | 2 | 1 | A Rickle in Time | Rick | Huh, what do you know, it's working |
713 | 2 | 1 | A Rickle in Time | Summer 1 | Ow, ow ouch! |
714 | 2 | 1 | A Rickle in Time | Morty 2 | Whoa, ow, ow. |
715 | 2 | 1 | A Rickle in Time | Rick | Oh shit. |
716 | 2 | 1 | A Rickle in Time | All Ricks | What the hell is wrong with you two!? I—I m—I m—I mean you four!? |
718 | 2 | 1 | A Rickle in Time | All Ricks | Good I'm glad it was painful. You do deserve it! I saw you, you're both all over the damn place. We've been split for twenty minutes and your lives are already scattered to the quantum fucking wind? What the hell do either of you have to be so uncertain about? Your brand of zit cream? Which chair to sit in while I do everything? Come on, spit it out! |
719 | 2 | 1 | A Rickle in Time | All Mortys | Well you don't exactly make it easy, Rick! |
720 | 2 | 1 | A Rickle in Time | Morty 1 | You make fun of me all the time and now Summer's doing it too! |
721 | 2 | 1 | A Rickle in Time | Morty 2 | You're always picking on me and now you got someone to kiss your ass! |
722 | 2 | 1 | A Rickle in Time | Summer 1 | Me? What about you? Would you get more excited to see me fail? You want Grampa all to yourself! |
724 | 2 | 1 | A Rickle in Time | All Ricks | Alright, cool it, I see what's happening here. You're both young, you're both unsure about your place in the universe, you both wanna be “Grampa's favorite.” I can fix this. Morty sit here, Summer, you sit here. Now listen, I know the two of you are very different from each other in a lot of ways, but you have to understand that as far as Grampa's concerned, you're both pieces of shit. Yeah, I can prove it mathematically. Actually, let me grab my whiteboard. This has been a long time coming anyway. |
725 | 2 | 1 | A Rickle in Time | Beth | Emergency, wounded deer coming in. |
726 | 2 | 1 | A Rickle in Time | Vet | Three. Excuse me, you can't be back here. |
727 | 2 | 1 | A Rickle in Time | Beth | I'm a certified horse surgeon, and this deer needs medical attention. Nurse, please move that snake. |
728 | 2 | 1 | A Rickle in Time | Vet | That's my nurse, and as a horse surgeon, I'm sure that you know that deer have much smaller, much more intricate organs- |
729 | 2 | 1 | A Rickle in Time | Beth | As a vet, I'm sure you know a deer is closer to a horse than you are to a doctor, so let's save the measuring for when our dicks are out, it's time to save a life! |
730 | 2 | 1 | A Rickle in Time | Vet | Geez... |
731 | 2 | 1 | A Rickle in Time | Beth | That's odd, this deer's wounded. |
732 | 2 | 1 | A Rickle in Time | Jerry | Uh, yeah, I was there, you don't have to rub it in. |
733 | 2 | 1 | A Rickle in Time | Beth | I mean it's been shot. With a gun. |
735 | 2 | 1 | A Rickle in Time | Vet | May I help you, sir? |
737 | 2 | 1 | A Rickle in Time | Vet | Look, I don't know what the law says about this, but I took an oath that I would let no animal come to harm. Except when sterilizing, aborting or euthenizing them and also when eating them at almost any meal. |
739 | 2 | 1 | A Rickle in Time | Beth | In your dreams, bitch! Scalpel! |
740 | 2 | 1 | A Rickle in Time | All Ricks | So in conclusion, you're both equally mercurial, overly sensitive, clingy hysterical bird brained homunculi. And I honestly can't tell the two of you half the time because I don't go by height or age, I go by amount of pain in my ass, which makes you both identical. Alright, everything resolved? Everybody nice and certain about their position in my world? |
742 | 2 | 1 | A Rickle in Time | All Ricks | Alright, perfect. Sit still, arms down, I'm gonna do this again, this time, be like Grampa. |
743 | 2 | 1 | A Rickle in Time | Morty 2 | You mean drunk? |
746 | 2 | 1 | A Rickle in Time | Morty 2 | No. |
748 | 2 | 1 | A Rickle in Time | All Ricks | Huh, that's weird. Oh, my God. |
749 | 2 | 1 | A Rickle in Time | All Summers | What? |
750 | 2 | 1 | A Rickle in Time | All Ricks | That son of a bitch is gonna kill me! |
753 | 2 | 1 | A Rickle in Time | All Mortys | Rick what the hell are you doing? |
754 | 2 | 1 | A Rickle in Time | All Ricks | Saving our lives. After he takes me out he's gonna be coming for you! |
755 | 2 | 1 | A Rickle in Time | All Summers | Who? |
756 | 2 | 1 | A Rickle in Time | All Ricks | Me! |
758 | 2 | 1 | A Rickle in Time | All Summers | Ahh! |
759 | 2 | 1 | A Rickle in Time | All Mortys | Whoa whoa! |
764 | 2 | 1 | A Rickle in Time | All Ricks | Oh God, now there's three of them, we're outnumbered! Get in the cupboards! Wait, don't don't do that, they'll know... wait wait, think about getting in the cupboards but don't really. AAAAH IS THIS WHAT YOU WANT YOU SICK FUCKS? YOU WANNA SEE CHILDREN DIE? |
765 | 2 | 1 | A Rickle in Time | Beth | You son of a bitch, you don't stop living until I SAY SO! |
767 | 2 | 1 | A Rickle in Time | Vet | Who's this now? |
771 | 2 | 1 | A Rickle in Time | Jerry | She normally works on horses. |
772 | 2 | 1 | A Rickle in Time | Beth | Jerry, if you're not gonna help, get the fuck out of here! I will reach into heaven and yank your screaming deer soul back! |
773 | 2 | 1 | A Rickle in Time | Vet | Jesus... |
774 | 2 | 1 | A Rickle in Time | All Ricks | Shh shh... I know where you are, you creepy old monster... I know how you think! Oh, is this where you think I'm going? You think I'm standing here? Well maybe you're right! |
775 | 2 | 1 | A Rickle in Time | All Summers | Holy shit, now what? |
776 | 2 | 1 | A Rickle in Time | All Mortys | Well if all of me knocked out all the Ricks, and you peed in all of your pants, doesn't that mean that we're all synchronized? |
777 | 2 | 1 | A Rickle in Time | All Summers | Right. |
778 | 2 | 1 | A Rickle in Time | All Mortys | Okay... so from now on, whatever we do we have to be certain. |
779 | 2 | 1 | A Rickle in Time | All Summers | Right... |
780 | 2 | 1 | A Rickle in Time | All Mortys | I think I'm certain we're F'd in the A. |
781 | 2 | 1 | A Rickle in Time | All Ricks | Oh God, my head. What did you guys do? |
782 | 2 | 1 | A Rickle in Time | All Mortys | We put you in a dog crate because you were acting crazy, and you caused another time fracture. |
783 | 2 | 1 | A Rickle in Time | All Summers | You tried to kill yourself! |
784 | 2 | 1 | A Rickle in Time | All Ricks | Only in self defense, myself tried to kill me first! Guys, I don't expect you to understand this, but time breaking twice means our problem is two times bigger and we've got half as much time to solve it. Well actually, I do expect you to understand that, it's basic math. C-could someone just let me out of here? If I die in a cage I lose a bet. |
785 | 2 | 1 | A Rickle in Time | All Summers | Well is there some way you can prove you're not a threat to yourself and others anymore? |
786 | 2 | 1 | A Rickle in Time | All Ricks | Ah, for God's sake, alright here, give me the time crystal. |
787 | 2 | 1 | A Rickle in Time | All Mortys | W-what're you doing? |
788 | 2 | 1 | A Rickle in Time | All Ricks | Calling myself. Here, listen, it'll probably go to voice mail since, you know, I'm calling myself. |
790 | 2 | 1 | A Rickle in Time | All Ricks | Don't fall for it, it's a bit. |
792 | 2 | 1 | A Rickle in Time | All Ricks | Hey Rick, it's Rick. Listen, I'm sorry about earlier. No hard feelings. I know you know I mean it too. Take it easy. Whoa. Damn, look at this, I'm blown up. Three new voicemails. Yeah yeah, I heard this one. You get the idea we're cool now. |
793 | 2 | 1 | A Rickle in Time | All Summers | Okay, well we're still not gonna let you out of this crate. |
794 | 2 | 1 | A Rickle in Time | All Ricks | Fine I'll just do it myself. |
795 | 2 | 1 | A Rickle in Time | All Mortys | If you could get out that whole time why didn't you? |
796 | 2 | 1 | A Rickle in Time | All Ricks | Because I waited until I was certain it was what I wanted to do, Morty. That's the difference between you and me. I'm certain, and you're a walking burlap sack filled with turds. |
797 | 2 | 1 | A Rickle in Time | All Mortys | You know, geez Rick, y—y—you're really tearing into me right now. You know, words hurt. |
798 | 2 | 1 | A Rickle in Time | Morty 1 | Oh, my God! |
799 | 2 | 1 | A Rickle in Time | Morty 2 | It's a monster! |
801 | 2 | 1 | A Rickle in Time | Summer 1 | It's a monster! |
803 | 2 | 1 | A Rickle in Time | Testicle Monster A | Ey, ye ey, quit yellin' quit yellin'. |
807 | 2 | 1 | A Rickle in Time | Testicle Monster A | What the fuck?! Your time is all ripped up to hell! You broke your time, twice! |
809 | 2 | 1 | A Rickle in Time | Testicle Monster A | How did this happen? |
812 | 2 | 1 | A Rickle in Time | Testicle Monster A | Shut the fuck up! Oh, damn, I'm from the 4th dimension. I can hear all o' y'all. Now let's just see what we got here for a second. |