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Lived a perfect life filling her with beautiful babies forever. But now the weekend’s over.

Now I’ll die alone. She’s at the bird sanctuary with another man.

You would slow down seeming to think you’d lost me and look back and there I was. I felt like the T erminator . You ran into traffic.

I saw you get a car to stop and a guy to roll his window down and you pointe d at me and were clearly telling him that I was a violent miscreant bent on killing you. He didn’t do shit.

She has a navel piercing. How do you talk to a person with a navel piercing.

I have rediscovered myself in sobriety. It’s been sixty days now.

But then shit went down with the Somalians. I didn’t know we had those– Yeah they come from Maine, the government brings them there. They speak English like the Pepperidge Farm guy but they’re mean as shit man.

They had this shotcaller Abdullah, he was a fuckin hardcase. Came out of the military.

He still hadn’t seen it. Nature, he said. My daughter says you don’t like your work. Why are you asking me this? Can you just tell me what you want– I’ll cooperate– I have told you, you are a guest.

I will not kill you. I want to know what you want from this place. I wanted to retire, he said.

He was sitting now. The room moved like when you’d had too many drinks and woke up on the couch in your clothes, trying to lift your head off the pillow.

Moving like a boat. Then he was lying down. He was shaking but couldn’t feel it so much anymore.

You won’t get a job cleaning their toilet. You won’t even be able to sell them your daughter.

There will be robots for that. We’ll be useless. Worthless.

Her tits were…. there is no word for them.

I saw the face of God. She saw me looking.

I really should kill my neighbor ’s dog. But I don’t want to look over in the next meadow and see that fat fuck playing with him. There are a few good moments, but life is mostly shit.

If you’re the sort of person who talks about privilege: I have bad news. I am white, tall, not ugly, heterosexual.

This slouchy unlaid nerd walking back to his car with his sneakers squealing. Two maintenance guys up on the deck of the bungalow above yacking endlessly about different kinds of caulk.

This new caulk they have now, it holds good and you wouldn’t believe how fast it dries. Now they are joking about caulk.

Hideous men with Boris Yeltsin gin blossom faces stalked from bar to bar looking at the ground. In the bars monkey faced girls danced listlessly to Katy Perry and other children’s performers.

If you pointed at them they’d sit with you. Sip apple flavored beer.

He cared about her too much. You have to want to hurt somebody to fuck them. They tried a few times and he would look in her eyes and it would make him laugh.********** In the spring she had a doctor’s appointment.

She called him after, crying. Said she needed to come over. She had cancer, she said.

A succubus. The boy squinted for a second.

Holy shit, he said. You recognize me? I think you fucked my mom. I did, I’m sorry– Hate to break it to you bro– you weren’t the first. You’re the guy from Philippines? I guess. Come on in. Inside, the trailer was trimmed in fake pine veneer and the floor was stacked with filthy copper pipes.

Get famous by becoming “reformed PUA.” TV appearances. Or become racist then ”reformed racist” like that Chris Picciolini guy.

Get on MSNBC. Sell a line of antiracism skin care supplements or whateverthefuck these people do- the problem is I’ve never been racist.

The distinctive brushed bronze. Was the back deadbolt locked.

This would have been definitive proof that I locked it myself, right? Unless someone with the keys did it. I must have– here’ s the thing, there’s a blackout, a gap in memory , and am I losing my mind is the question. Either someone is coming into my house while I sleep, taking nothing, disturbing nothing, leaving no footprints, or I’m waking up in the middle of the night and locking the deadbolt.

None of the shit where OKCupid girls say don’t messageme if you wear this. Socks with sandals gets close.

Crocs. A specific IT worker from Minnesota aesthetic.

It’s just a hangover. This empty feeling, vulnerable feeling.

Despair and fear. It is a sickness.

W hat am I getting myself into. I’m also on a new path of trying to be honest. And not use other people. From AA? Yeah. Fuckin weird, she said.

But I guess it’s a relief. What do y ou mean. I mean your profile makes it seem like you just drink and fuck skanks, and it scared me. My friends told me not to go out with you.I can see why they’d say that. Is that what you’re going to do to me? Take me home and fuck me on your couch and never talk to me again? Not the last part. How do I know that? Look, I wouldn’t believe me either.

He introduced me. I was on somehow . Sometimes I’m retarded but sometimes I’m a wizard.

Plus I just came in a tweaker . I kept talking to her then going away .

Instead, he’d come up the hill the next night looking for the apartment with the cat, to kick that guy’s ass. No one was home. He left a note. Later she came to apologize.

He was alone, drunk. The best way to make amends, he said, would be some pussy. No such luck. They talked.

We’re going to resist. They want to take this country, they can pry it from my cold, dead hands.

Come take a look and we’ll talk, said Kent. He gestured at the ladder.

$1017! The flames rose, the warm orange light scaled up the white screen and danced. Higher , always higher .

He could swear the fires felt warm on his face. He leaned closer .

Her message still hurt. I’m sorry, he texted.

Then erased it.Then he called her a retarded cunt and erased it and then he had to drive the 20 year old home. They all live in Koreatown now. What’s the worst case scenario, he thought.

THERE IS NO LIMIT TO– eccentric millionaire John McAfee suddenly boomed from CNBC. His skin like a 120 year old opossum but something young in his gaze.

The chyron: BITCOIN BUBBLE? CR YPTO CURRENCY COULD CRACK $10,000I gotta go, he said. ** Before he logged in he tied his robe and poured champagne. Cast a glance at 4chan/biz.

I offered to get her high but she said no, I’m just a alcoholic. You stupid, she said, comin around here with all that money. You a stupid motherfucker.

Yeah, I’ve been briefed. I was wearing my tiny American Apparel swim trunks and one of those country western shirts with snaps. Black loafers.

He makes himself extra puffy and colorful. Risks getting noticed and eaten so he can then work his whole life to build the nest for his woman, bring her insects et cetera.

This man-bird you should aspire to is tough, fearless , beautiful. Works diligently to give her free house and money . They say it’s natural that the male should display but fuckstick I’m out here doing my display .

She might be crazy but why not. In the mornin g they drove out to Desert Hot Sprin gs in her convertible. He watched the hills roll by, the plants and rocks change, and was excited.

New birds circled the highway. New flowers grew in the ditch.

He looked toward the door. Closed his laptop.

She frowned. Like she might cry.

The sound came half a minute later with heat like a blow dryer too close to your neck. Then quiet.

They’d come out of the tent barefoot in the mud, lower halves naked in the cool wet air, peering over the cinder block fence and squinting. Is it safe to look, she said. If it wasn’t, we’re already fucked. Will there be radiation? I don’t think we can do anything.

They had girlfriends and 8 weeks vacation. I was an old man who lived alone with my cat.

And my cat died. And you know what? What. I was so glad to be alive to see them.

Scattered his ashes. Pair of mourning doves moved into the yard a day later, in the space where he sat.

I come close. They’re not afraid of me.

I don't want to sue but then if I get some press. Blow it up to a federal case.

If I could get one of the lawyers who reads my shit. Latch on to Cernovich, take it up to Ruth Bader Motherfucking Ginsbur g.

Homeland Security? How can I help you sir. Is this a different guy? Yes sir, it looks like you’ve been transferred here from FBI? Jesus Christ, OK– I just need to report this to somebody. If this an emergency please hang up and dial 911 for your local poli– Who is this? This is the Department of Homeland Security, sir. Mouse hovering over red.

Mentally challenged caller. Listen I need to report a serious nuclear threat. OK, he said. That sounds hot, she said.

She looks like 19, he told me, and fucking cute as hell. Little blonde girl. She’s got an Eddie Money T shirt on and weird eyes.

So they think she must be an ironic art student and steer clear . Haha. But one of the guys starts talking to her, and she is fuckin shithouse . I mean , she is slurring the fuck out of her words and can barely stand up. And they’re all like this too, but they have coke, they’re still standing.

8AM Sunday when the crew can make double time and people want to sleep in. Weed whacker grinding up nests full of baby birds that would have grown up to sing. Also some Mexican event going on.

Sabado Gigante announcer barking into the loudest PA mankind ever built. Subwoofers the size of the pyramids.

Lighter every day. ISIS had thoughtfully annihilated not just Los Angeles proper but the Greater Metropolitan Area. Everyone and everything was gone. Outside Carpinteria the road broke for good.

Chunks of asphalt tossed on their sides and scorched. We can’t get through, she said. We’ll turn around. All the roads will be like this.

Then black raspberry ice cream. She moaned a little with her mouth half closed. Another special effect.

OK, all better now, she said. The tympanis were too loud.

Be careful, I joked with her. You have a Wikipedia, you’ll want to leave me for a guy with a bigger Wikipedia.

And he’ll want to leave you for his 22 year old Asian intern. She just glared. That’ s kind of racist, she said. I didn’ t mean it that way . You know my agent asked about your books. Oh yeah? Not like that.

Writer’s block is the only problem I can solve. God help me if I had to change a tire. You solve writer’s block by eating shit and being in agony for years.

Force yourself to hammer out worse than useless garbage for hours that feel like lifetimes. Every day, until something clicks and you suddenly need it as therapy.

The phonewas ringing. What exactly, she said, and he said Homeland Security, then picked up the phone and said it again. After 9/11 the public-facing counterterrorism efforts of various agencies had merged under the rubric of the Department of Homeland Security. DHS had rerouted tiplines for the CIA and NSA, and FBI liked to transfer their cranks in too.

But mostly it was the US Post Office, Office of the Inspector General. Elderly callers.

You want me to give shit about what you think, cut me a check every week. Or be a woman.

Not a fat one either . Don’t Work Anyone who says they made it working is lying. No exceptions.

Smiling next to her potted rosemary plant. It was extraordinarily healthy.

She was a skilled gardener. Well shit, he thought. I guess she left some stuff behind.

Punching a guy off a moped. You hit him that hard? No but I took the moped and must have crashed it. I was blacked out.

Some guy found the finger but it was rotten. Fuck. I was doing great with the 13’s down here, easy money. Had a nice Mexicali girl too.

It must be spring.Philippines Vacation The day after I got home I was sitting in traffic on the 10 West. Job interview. Temp secretary at an organic dog food company.

Possible permanent hire if the woman doesn’t come back from maternity leave. Who knows what a young mother will do, said the office manager.

Swimming in the filthy river, legs lashed up from steering the moto into some brush thicket out of Predator. No turning radius on those things, and water buffalo in the road.

I have not google imaged the worms. Don’t want to shatter my faith that they’re spiny armored things with pincers. Chittering abyssal monsters like from a black smoker, or something that lays in wait for a thousand years in the Marianna Trench. Waiting on a whale carcass to drop so it can feast for a century and grow five school buses long. Really they’re some featureless nematode.

Just flashes of white feathers. Red streaks like their guts were slashed.

Then it was time to go. Back to work.The Big One In the morning they were going to move north.

A bigger dick. Some guy who is more confident.

Some guy who would go talk to her at a party. Or perhaps this selfsame coffee shop.

Worming down the steps like a slinky on her tiny legs. Dirty pink bow on her collar.

Faux lion haircut growing in. She must have heard the pantry door.

Take that, fiend.I Can’t Tonight But How about Tuesday, She Says Well no. I’m talking to you because you seem like you fuck fast.

I fucked my ex. She only hurts me.

Can you throw a couple grand cash in there for me. The bank called when the salesman rang it up.

It was the first time the card had been used. He cried a little kissing the babies goodbye. Trying to explain to the nanny who spoke only Cantonese that this was important.

Her pussy felt the same as the girl’s and he thought he was cured. He was going to text the girl if the date didn’t pan out. what are you doing. All lower case no punctuation.

Taking the capital “W” off “what” required more work then just letting the phone autocorrect, but gave the appearance of nonchalance. what are you doing.

There was a guy, he shot him with an arrow but we let him go–Marcy didn’t know he’d brained Larry, Vice President, Global sales with a fire extinguisher. So someone died in agony because you didn’t have the guts to finish the job. He might be alive– If you think someone is living in this with so much as a hangnail– listen. I have water .

I won’t force you to do anything. But if you want to live you’re going to work.

Forget all that shit but just don’t quit smoking. Go to the store right now.

Stop writing on your stupid laptop in the park while the mockingbirds scream and scream trying to get laid. It takes the bitch woman mockingbird all spring to pick one. Men doomed to sit on a high branch and cry.

Second time was for her, doggy style shoving her face in the pillow so she couldn’t breath and then letting her up and yanking a fistful of ponytail back, pulling her ass back into me, choking her, pounding her like a jackrabbit. Not my thing but it got her off.

She’d been to Japan, she said. It’s so safe people sleep on the street.

Kazcsynski’ s right. Our society is garbage.

America must be annihilated. In ten years would be great.

A bite of pain flares up. My body says are you sure.

I learned how to cough without clenching my ass. How to clear my throat.

She’ll think I’m gonna get my head cut off, shipped back to her in a cooler. No, it’s fine, I’ll say.

I was just in Tijuana, it’s not like you read about. What were you doing there? Uh… Every half an hour I pull up craigslist and search for my bike.

A nice day. I have therapy in 30 minutes.

It will be the last time. I spent money on this, to get my AA sponsor off my back.

It was some Norman Rockwell shit and it felt good and safe. Like we were grownups. But there was that thing hanging over us.

It wasn’t going to be a weekend until we got drunk, until we got high, until we fucked somebody new and dirty, until we fought and maybe beat each other up and made strangers scared of us and did shit that migh t make us die. Something that would make a story . Even so you didn’t want to come out.

I have 22 “positive” Amazon reviews and my hundred thousand hours of work has earned me almost what I make in one week as a fucking secretary. Look upon my works and despair. My life is perfect.

Just need the perfect woman to share it with. Well she kind of is perfect.

Six of one half a dozen of the other. I wanted 15 hot ropes but only the first one had any force to it.

Wanted to feel like I’d crushed all hope for happiness. My future marriage spattering on the toothpaste crusted drain.

Why is that too much to ask. I want my face to be sewn doggystyle into her musky Chinese cameltoe like Human Centipede.

Crawl around for the rest of my life sniffing her taint and inhaling her dingleberies. She colored her hair.

Brazilian chick with a cute ass in black Speedo bikini bottoms. Farewell to Ponny , it’s called. You could watch Ingmar Bergman films for free online probably but Farewell to Ponny , infinitely more compelling.

You still haven’ t found the one. Where the horse gives a girl a visible vaginal creampie.

So far they hadn’t been sick. The star rose up fast and something else bright fell off it and twirled in a spiral; plummeted down somewhere to the east. They’re still launching, he said. Why? I don’t know, maybe the system just takes over. Will they hit here again? Maybe. Can we eat something? They had Activia.

The fortune cookies. Half a case of Slim Jims and some Sunkist cans they’d found in the greasy black rubble of a Shell station.

Big shard of meth sitting on the Bank of America folder that had the mortgage papers for the house in it. Perfect hex crystal like a display at the natural history museum.

If you want nineteen year old girls in your house, get drugs. Later I was in the hot tub and she came out naked. How did you get over your sickness she asked.

A laptop. An Xbox One with a used copy of The Witcher 3, which replaced a wife or girlfriend.

20 grand cash. 8 grand in credit card debt that had been charged off by the bank for two years now.

Eyes alert. It contemplated the ground.

Looked for the right spot. Dropped the pine cone on a dirt lump and held it between its toes and began hammering it into the earth.

Ass aloft in a strong boy’s hot palm. Silky hair and pom poms flying.

She was the spitting image of the star of a video he’d seen on motherless.com. Teen Tranny Gets Rock Hard Riding Bro’s Cock.

You are LUCKY that ANYONE would fucking have you. And you bite my FUCKING head of f about the… FUCKING… SOAP! She was on him before he knew what was happening. She had a lucky hit, the chef’s knife went right under his ribs.

It felt hot. He tried to breat h but but only got half full; on his left side the air was hissing out of a wet hole and it felt like someone was standing on his chest in boots.

Join a gang16. Get famous by becoming white nationalist e-personality . Become subject of FBI investigation, attract secret dark money from weird rich people.

Somehow use it to have sex. 17. Get famous by becoming Reaganite right wing e-personality . Date one of the heavily styled women who get rich complainin g their Patreon is censored.

Out a window he saw cars. The parking lot.

To the left. Many stairs , and then he tripped and scraped his knees on the asphalt.

Someone passionate about racial justice– I asked for an Asian. Oh, because you want a submissive little wife? No, a tight pussy . I waited. And she did laugh. **She moved in in January with her black Great Dane, Dante.

I threw out the antibiotics I’d been hoarding in the medicine cabinet to make room for her pills. The SSRI made it hard for her to cum.

Except I can’t let it go there. This is the one party I’ll be at in 2018 with girls.

Can’ t be Johnny Dayjob here. Have to be a menacing cult sex author who gets fan letters from Gabon.

They must part. She’s young, cute– most of the women in horse porn, over 30.

Useless. ** Online dating is dead. I’ll have to go talk to people.

Coke stopped making me feel good. Instead I have to work this absurd L. Ron Hubbard program where I’m a better brother friend and neighbor .

Organize pancake breakfasts . Counsel at risk teens who I secretly want to fuck or beat up.

I’m turning slow and stupid and I forget big words but on the other hand when I’m rawdogging a fat 22 year old half Korean off Tinder I instantly get hard again after nutting in her navel. My cock still works.

Will 22 year olds still fuck me since the odom eter rolled ove r. Don’t want to turn 40 this morning. Take stock of my life.

Kept looking. Are you fucking kidding me? You’re not taking her. Get out. You got one shot with that bow man, I got six.

I just want to talk. He let go. His aim was off but the man started to scream.

Civili zation has collapsed and I am a scavenger , he thought. She did have a sideways pussy . ********** They were at El Prado.

He had Kombucha. She had Sauvignon Blanc.

What if this guy’s right. Well how could I leave all this behind. All right thank you for the call sir, he said.

Please be assured that DHS takes these reports seriously, and your claims will be fully investigated. He went to unmatch the caller and hit the Fuck You Button on the girl before he realized he was turned around. ** I did the right thing.

OK, just a minute, she said. She closed her eyes. Appeared to concentrate.

It was a special effect. When they fed you without it it was scary.

Swam out into Subic Bay 200 yards, put my hand on something sharp on a piling and it broke off in the flesh of my palm. I remembered the aquarium display: death from a lionfish sting is slow and agoni zing.

It was a sea urchin. Later I saw them in the reefs; they’re covered in spikes but they still hide.

With another heave of the blade I split your chains. You are free, but your heart is my slave.

I look around, furtively. I need a rag to clean off the stinging spider ichor.

A dead dream. The other guy stole the second gram. I was pissed at the time.

Now I think: good. I hope it’s really gone.

I’d go in the door and you’d run up the stairs outside. I’d go to the base of the stairs and you’d run down them and run into the door. You loved that game. Cars broke, girls left me. Hard jobs, hard days, and I’d put my face in your fur and you’d purr and it would be OK.When I first got you home I let you out of the box in a dark quiet room.

So you wouldn’t be scared. First day or so I’d just sit there and talk to you. When you trusted me enough I put out my hand.

It wasn’t bad. You were open and honest and vulnerable and it felt good, it felt good… this part of you was God-given too.

It didn’t have to be hurtful. Mechanical. And you saw her again, you spent the night in her clean girl house rolling around watching movies and having filthy unprotected sex.

Sent 20 messages as welcome as an Adobe Flash update and one that stuck. He’d wanted a break from this but now a firm hand was needed.

She had a body like a fat little boy and her teeth were planted by a drunk. I don’t want to sleep with you, she said when they got back to his apartment.

The front desk girl. She wants me to ask her out.

I want to suck her chubby blue vein tits while she’s on top of me; blast a crawly hot load into her briny beached sea creature of a snatch. She has a kid. We exchange pleasantries.

I’d have been a legend. If I’d been the way I am now. But no.

My career as Brolita began and ended in ten seconds. Good.

Kent and Marcy had started walking and he had to jog to catch up. Over the ridgeline was a barbed wire fence on a concrete slab with a heart that said CUNT painted on it.

A path through a hole in it. Nestled in the hills old blown out cementbuildings.

Let me tell you a story. My old Air Force buddy Kevin was training to be an F- 16 pilot.

The trainees have to stock the squadron snack bar. One day Kevin headed to the operations desk for his mission takeoff.

But only a few pairs remain to breed, he said. I don’t know where the rest go.

Maybe Canada. I think it’s cute you know so much about birds, she said. He didn’t fuck her on the first date.

His first date since he knew for sure the thing with the girl was over. Everything was fine and then the speakers played John Waite’s “Missing You.” 80’s night.

After that, Elton John’s “I Guess That’s Why They Call it the Blues.” He’d been told to pray when it hurt. Dear Lord, why not just have the clouds spell my name and form a middle finger.

Impossible. I’m gonna clench my asshole so I don’t have to think about it anymore.It Will Be Very Unpleasant At the Mexican Doctor to get my surgeon referral.

For the ass surgery I will need. Telemundo is on and the Copa Mundial is playing.

It’s over; my life is over because of this city so now I’ll work five years, save money , go to Lincoln, Montana. Live in a cabin and make bombs and write a manifesto.

Why don’t you come with me, I said. I’ll feed you elk meat and keep you pregnant. Her friend said Jesus Christ she likes you.

Murmured a quick prayer to the money gods. Hit enter . $11,121.

$12,36 4. The fire filled the screen and it felt like it made hands that pulled him in.

Older kids stalked the tall arches in the roots. Pulled out crabs in nets, their claws frantic in the air.

It is not far sir, she said. Around a bend, a cave made from the hissing trees.

Keeps her Buscemi perma- sneer on. To avoid looking at me she risks walking into a picnic table and taking the sharp corner right in the pussy.

Worth it to her. I look like a serial killer.

I am a lying sack of shit selling you a scam but because I sound like I don’t want your money you will give it to me. When you are on that roll you could sell stickers that say “Fuck You Cop Pull Me Over” to the Chief of Police. The substance has nothing to do w ith it.

It’s in your voice.I became their top salesman. I beat homeless Cronkite and Alcoholic priest and a bunch of other guys who’d been in boiler rooms all their adult lives, always for companies with three letter names: BTS productions, CBL productions.

dude let it go, he texted. find someone else.

pus sy’s pussyApp Review: Tinder for iOS I should tell you I’m married, she said. This after you’d taken off your expired Trojan, the ribbed kind that comes in a gold wrapper; it was so old the gold foil was flaking off so you took the condom and filled it up in the sink after and watched it for leaks.

Blown the lid off the whole operation. We called for police and firefighter charities, which sell boiler rooms the right to raise funds in their name.

Basically the cops in your town get ten or fifteen grand to help schools or disabled kids or whatever and the company that I worked for gets eighty grand for the people who own it to buy small airplanes and strippers for wives. The cops know it works like this. But it’s still more money than they’d get sitting in front of Safeway selling cupcakes.