Datasets:

quocanh34

/

mental_health_dataset_1

like 5

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-07-23T01:35:56.000Z

cgm5qu

ptsd

How do I get diagonaised?

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cgm5qu/how_do_i_get_diagonaised/

Error__Horror

I wrote my story down on this account before but to recap. I had a very abusive boyfriend for six months in my first year of college. He was physically, mentally, and sexually abusive towards me. And now four months after I left him I’ve been diagnosed with PTSD. I honestly thought it was just anxiety. Bad anxiety that I could take a pill for and manage. Something close to my depression ya know? But now I just feel shattered. I’m so numb to everything and while I’m seeing my therapist tomorrow I just need to tell someone. I knew I was traumatized. But I never thought it’d be, I guess worthy is the word I’m gonna use, of PTSD. I just need advice. Honestly, I’m so lost and confused that anything would help. I don’t know how to face this monster and while I know I’m not alone. I fear I’m running out of the strength to fight it anymore. I’m just so tired and lost.

2019-07-22T21:14:22.000Z

cgj4b4

ptsd

So I was just diagnosed.

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cgj4b4/so_i_was_just_diagnosed/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-07-22T20:06:25.000Z

cgi8yw

ptsd

I'm having a lot of trouble today and I don't know what to do.

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cgi8yw/im_having_a_lot_of_trouble_today_and_i_dont_know/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-07-22T19:20:58.000Z

cghnwi

ptsd

When I was a freshman in high school I lost two friends within a month of each other [NSFW....?]

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cghnwi/when_i_was_a_freshman_in_high_school_i_lost_two/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-07-22T16:41:58.000Z

cgfkqs

ptsd

My sister...

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cgfkqs/my_sister/

gayestpan

trigger warnings: physical and mental abuse, mentions of drinking and drugs, suicide attempts, and parent death i’m new here and this seemed like a nice place. i was diagnosed with ptsd at the age of 12 stemming from various events in my life. i am still relatively young and trying to learn how to cope when the flashbacks and attacks come along. [this is the line where it mentions the trigger warnings above. don’t read past this point if that stuff gets to you. thank you.] my mom is fucking crazy and dates some really awful guys. one of those guys being my dad. basically he has an extensive history of drug abuse as well as alcoholism. without making this prolonged, one day he stole my mom’s credit card and ran off to north carolina (we lived in south carolina now). i can very vaguely remember being really little, and standing next to my mom while she was pounding on the door of a motel room, and no one opened it. she filled in this detail by telling me she brought me with because no one could watch me. she went to the front desk and told them that she thought my dad was gonna kill himself. the next few minutes are a little blurred, as this was years ago, but i still remember exactly what he looked like, all those years ago. i remember seeing a bunch of bottles and my dad ‘sleeping’ on his bed (that’s what my little mind concluded) but i didn’t get super far because my mom asked the motel worker guy if he could just kinda keep me from going in. i was cool with it at the time, since i didn’t register how serious it was. this took place in a motel 6. so now every time we’re driving and i see that big red 6 high in the sky, i have one of my episodes. my dad is now dead. not from that particular incident, but he died this past december. i didn’t talk to him for the last year of his life because, when he came up to our house for the first time in awhile, he ate all of my pills for my severe anxiety and left. i regret not saying even one word, because now i won’t get to say anything to him again. there’s a lot of fucked up things he did that really imprinted the type of person i am now, but to not make this longer than this already will be, i won’t get into it. my mom had a boyfriend who we’ll call t, because simply hearing or seeing his name gives me goosebumps. when i was about 6 (after my mom and dad, and then my mom and her other boyfriend split up when i was 4 and 5) my mom found a new boyfriend who was my uncle’s (by marriage so no incest lmao) brother. i’m literally like, half his age currently. but, i never liked him, even from the beginning. my mind is extremely fuzzy on the matter but i wanna say he started yelling at me and mentally abusing me about 2 months after they started dating, and shortly after followed the hitting. he’d slap me and shove me against walls when my mom wasn’t home (which was a lot) and this went on for a good amount of time. when i was 7, my mom got knocked up with t’s kid. i lost my shit and started sobbing because this meant that, if the child survived, he would be in our lives forever. the day my youngest brother was born, it was a very happy and very sad day for me. my mom was with him till i was.. i wanna say 11? i was in 5th grade and my mom was driving me and my younger brother back home from school, and she was s c r e a m i n g at him through the phone. why? because t dropped out on watching my youngest brother, HIS CHILD, who was not even 3 at the time, to go to a city like 3 hours later with a ‘’friend’’ (aka a girl he had been flirting with). so my mom finally dumped his ass, and all was well. then, in my 7th grade, i accidentally find out t and mom are dating again, WHEN T IS MARRIED. i lose my fucking shit and start going off on my mom. he literally ruined my entire life, and mom’s too, and she takes him back? she tries explaining over the weeks that he “”changed””. guess what? he didn’t. this time instead of hitting me though, he only threatened me, and said i was making everyone’s life miserable. he’s a,, giant chunk of my ptsd. i also have various issues from my mom, because she mentally abuses and tries to manipulate me, still. also with just really toxic people and fights and stuff. if you’ve,, somehow, gotten to here? thank you, a lot. no one really listens to me. i have a nice feeling about this sub. i love you guys<33 tl;dr- i have daddy issues and my mom’s boyfriends were trash, so now i have ptsd

2019-07-22T15:49:17.000Z

cgewlh

ptsd

hello!!! i’m new!!

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cgewlh/hello_im_new/

Bonocity

For context, I get really over the top fight or flight anxiety in relationship based situations. Specifically, the triggers are a partners late nights out such as parties, bars etc. This was due to circumstances with a past ex who was a blackout drinker, so each night like that left me worrying where she was and what state she was in. Overtime the worry and fear also evolved into anger and resentment towards the ex for putting me in a helpless and powerless position. As just my luck goes, with every important partner since her, that set of anxiety related emotions has carried over. Last night happened to be a triggering night as my partner went to a street party in our city. I was doing well until she called me to let me know she was going to be out later as she decided to go to an after party. At that point my fight or flight emotions kicked in and downhill I went. I'm in therapy and have a few things I normally do to combat my mind in these situations but last night for some reason it all went out the window. Logically I know that my emotional response is mine and not the result of my current partner's actions or choices however during last night, I was acutely aware of how powerful my resentment of her was. Even as I told myself that it wasn't her causing any of this, it was like my emotions didn't care. Today I'm struggling with processing that because of how powerful of an emotion it was at the time. I'm also not sure how to re-frame it either. I'm curious if anyone here experiences similar feelings and what they do to work through them?

2019-07-22T15:21:25.000Z

cgejqr

ptsd

Relationship PTSD and Resentment (Long read, sorry!)

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cgejqr/relationship_ptsd_and_resentment_long_read_sorry/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-07-22T14:15:48.000Z

cgdqta

ptsd

Ptsd from a relationship?

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cgdqta/ptsd_from_a_relationship/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-07-22T13:22:52.000Z

cgd5cf

ptsd

Anxiety while travelling - how do I get rid of it and just enjoy my time?

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cgd5cf/anxiety_while_travelling_how_do_i_get_rid_of_it/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-07-22T12:39:43.000Z

cgcozq

ptsd

Symptoms

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cgcozq/symptoms/

dontwanttobe______

Does anyone else remember their trauma as a third party, not inside their own body? I realized last night this probably isn't helping me process it, but I have no idea how to shift from "oh that happened to that girl, poor thing" to "oh that happened to *me*". It just hurts way *way* more to think like that, but obviously not admitting to my own trauma isn't helping anyone, least of all me.

2019-07-22T11:01:23.000Z

cgbrr4

ptsd

Third person memories VS First person memories??

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cgbrr4/third_person_memories_vs_first_person_memories/

dhoium3009

Background before I get into it.... June 6, 2011 we were in Iraq when we got his by an IRAM (improvised rocket assisted mortar) attack, where they shot water heaters at us filled with 200lb of HME (homemade explosives). I went to the VA for help after a suicide attempt in February 2019. I checked myself into the loony bin about 18 hours after the suicide attempt and started (also finished) treatment. It's been several months since and I started having bad dreams the last 2 weeks or so. I just woke up, not sure if it was a noise, the cat doing something, a dream, idk... I thought I was back in Iraq with a friend of mine who was in the shower when we got attacked and ended up decapitated. He died running naked to the bunker and ended up the result of a direct hit on the bunker. Was found with his head detached laying a few feet from his body still blinking and looking around with an extreme look of fear on his face. In this dream, we started getting attacked and I told him to run for the bunker, then I ran the other way for a further bunker and I got knocked over and knocked out from percussion by the blast of when he got hit. That's when I woke up and I propped up out of bed, ran into the wall, stumbled and ran into the closet full bore and went face first into the wall in there. I fell over again and when I got back up I started coming to and noticed I was covered in blood, all over me, the clothes in the closet and all over the carpet.

2019-07-22T08:21:26.000Z

cgai13

ptsd

I don't think I'll ever escape the war in iraq

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cgai13/i_dont_think_ill_ever_escape_the_war_in_iraq/

pikledgravy12222

Very long story short almost one year ago my brother was lit on fire and 75% of his body 3rd degree burned. He barely survived. What I've personally had to go through because of this is helping with things such as showers and dressings because he's basically paralyzed right now. The showers are excruciatingly painful for him and I can see the hopelessness in him when he has them. I have flashbacks of him screaming in pain while in the showers and flashbacks of his burned body which makes me very upset and I'll start crying and not be able to think straight. I can give more details if needed. I just dont want to go talk to someone for a diagnosis

2019-07-22T04:51:53.000Z

cg8t3w

ptsd

Do I have ptsd?

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cg8t3w/do_i_have_ptsd/

WalkinAfterMidnight8

Technically I was supposed to do it a few days ago, but I put it off because I'm so nervous. I'm nervous about what will come out, I'm nervous that I won't be able to resist the urge to self harm afterwards. I'm nervous that I will completely fall apart. But my therapist made me promise to do it before our session (which is 13 hours from now). I'm going to do it, but I'm just scared. And yes, I'm aware I sound like a toddler saying, "I don't wanna!"

2019-07-22T04:26:20.000Z

cg8l43

ptsd

I am supposed to do the "empty chair technique" tonight.

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cg8l43/i_am_supposed_to_do_the_empty_chair_technique/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-07-22T03:27:16.000Z

cg80w5

ptsd

i don't want to admit that i might have abandonment trauma

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cg80w5/i_dont_want_to_admit_that_i_might_have/

bonneville_777

I was diagnosed with PTSD about a month ago, should have been years ago. I had my first EMDR session and it broke me down, cried for 40 minutes during treatment. I wanted to know what your guys' experience was with it? I'm having cold feet going to my next treatment. Thanks for any advice.

2019-07-22T03:01:58.000Z

cg7s3c

ptsd

EMDR experience?

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cg7s3c/emdr_experience/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-07-22T01:32:43.000Z

cg6wfy

ptsd

Do yall remember the anniversary of your trama?

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cg6wfy/do_yall_remember_the_anniversary_of_your_trama/

Myfacades

around 2 years ago my best friends cousin ( a guy ) stayed the night with us because he was "gay" (later found out he faked being gay & trans just to sleep over with girls) and had no interest in girls therefore the parents let him stay over and like, everything was normal till we all went to bed on the floor i was in the middle of them and i was almost asleep when i felt a hand creep near my boobs very slowly, i froze, i was so fucking scared, im assuming he thought i was asleep but i could feel it all, his hand there and it twitching, it was fucking disgusting, eventually i shot up and said I needed a drink but when i was walking down the stairs he followed me around like a creep, i wanted to die, i was so scared i was around 13 at the time and like of course i was upset for the next few days, but i just pushed down that feeling and let it settle deep inside me for 2 years, jumping back to now, im 15 and have a boyfriend, and i cant have him even hug me without me shaking, crying and reliving that moment, this feeling has only started occurring this year due to the memory randomly being present all of a sudden, i cant have ANY guy touch me without me thinking of that guy, its terrible. i havent told anyone except my best friend. i dont know if this would be ptsd or what, i dont want to say i have ptsd because i dont want to self diagnose but this is really effecting me and my mental state and relationships.

2019-07-22T00:28:46.000Z

cg69a3

ptsd

help

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cg69a3/help/

itsdanmurphy

Three weeks ago I was shot. I'm happy to be alive. I'm still figuring out how to deal with it. This is my first reddit post. I'm having a hard time. If you would like to know more I would like to talk about what happened.

2019-07-21T23:32:01.000Z

cg5oez

ptsd

I got shot and I want to talk about it.

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cg5oez/i_got_shot_and_i_want_to_talk_about_it/

abe3002

So i was diagnosed with ptsd this week and given medication and wanted to know what people do to cope as mine while not the worst are not the most helpful. I eat, sleep and distract which none are healthy especially when sleep backfires due to an episode (if that's the correct term) happens when I'm asleep as I then avoid sleeping for days. Also not helpful when I need to be productive So wanted to ask what are some things people do to help cope ? *edit* a word

2019-07-21T23:04:03.000Z

cg5dwn

ptsd

Diagnosed with ptsd this week

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cg5dwn/diagnosed_with_ptsd_this_week/

starsonthatgirl

RN mine is Weezer - Freak Me Out And I'm at work so I can't listen to anything real. Just what's in my head. YOU CAME OUT OF NOWHERE, MAN, YOU REALLY FREAK ME OUT, I'M SO AFRAID OF YOU AND WHEN I LOSE MY COOL, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. I KNOW YOU DON'T MEAN NO HAAAARM, YOU'RE JUST DOING YOUR THING. BUT, MAN, YOU REALLY FREAK ME OUT. (did I hurt you? are you okay?...)

2019-07-21T21:48:43.000Z

cg4kgf

ptsd

Any one else have songs play REALLY loud in their head when they're freaking out?

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cg4kgf/any_one_else_have_songs_play_really_loud_in_their/

ConfusedRubberBanana

I get told that I can't have issues I have since apparently nothing bad ever happened to me. I told these people (my family) about it but they think I lied although I have no history of being a liar. Now I have to live with them thinking I would lie about such a thing to get attention. I deeply regret opening up to these people but I was going to commit suicide and it failed. I wanted them to know why I did it because I thought I was going to die. They just didn't believe anything and I survived my attempt. Now I was diagnosed with PTSD. I am going to get therapy. I deeply regret telling these people anything.

2019-07-21T19:59:17.000Z

cg3blo

ptsd

Is it common that people around you think that you are lying about your trauma? (Mentioning suicide)

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cg3blo/is_it_common_that_people_around_you_think_that/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-07-21T19:39:11.000Z

cg338a

ptsd

i’m 14 and i think i have ptsd tw: rape

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cg338a/im_14_and_i_think_i_have_ptsd_tw_rape/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-07-21T18:14:35.000Z

cg23w2

ptsd

Trouble navigating relationship with veteran

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cg23w2/trouble_navigating_relationship_with_veteran/

rachaellefler

Hi, I have C-PTSD from being bullied as a child. The movie *A Silent Voice* on Netflix, depicts bullying very similar to what happened to me as a child. 30 minutes into the movie, I can't really bring myself to care about the protagonist, because he was the main bully. The movie focuses on him and his redemption arc. It shows how he goes on to be excluded and hates himself for what he did. But what I kind of hate is they don't show the feelings (much) of the little girl he was mean to. What she feels doesn't seem to matter as much, she's just a plot catalyst in *his* story. I found myself hating him. Seeing him reminded me of many people like him I knew as a kid. And I hate them. And I started feeling physical sensations like I was being scratched on my arms and face. I keep having a visceral reaction to this main character. So my question is, would it be better if I didn't or did continue to watch the movie? &#x200B; On the one hand, if I continue it, maybe the happy ending will give me a sense of closure. On the other hand, the movie could also anger me or hurt me even more. Especially since it seems like he is going to get rewarded by her friendship/romance just for maybe apologizing, if that. He saw her years later, and didn't even apologize immediately. What a dick. I think this is why I like SFF fiction, if something is too realistic, taking place in a world too similar to my own, I am more likely to be triggered by any bullying. I was also very upset by the main character's suicide attempts. Where I paused it was a scene where his mother was trying to make him stop trying to kill himself. I want to say, fuck you, I'm the one who should be suicidal, I was the victim, why is this movie trying to make me feel sorry for this scumfuck? People like him are the reason I'm traumatized. Kids who think it's just okay to hurt whoever they feel like hurting.

2019-07-21T17:51:57.000Z

cg1uax

ptsd

If I'm triggered by a movie, should I keep watching it?

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cg1uax/if_im_triggered_by_a_movie_should_i_keep_watching/

fawkitup

TW: sexual abuse, potential child abuse? rape. i was diagnosed with PTSD in 2014 due to being raped. i won’t get much into all of that bc that’s not what i’m here for. i’m wondering if i have any repressed memories from my childhood, specifically of being sexually abused. from a very young age, i’ve always known what sex was. i remember getting in trouble at the age of 5 for telling one of my cousins what it was. i knew that “fucking” (like “i just walked in on my parents fucking! eww!” kinda thing) was sex. my parents had never given me the talk, because they realized i already knew what it was. i started masturbating around age 6, as well. watched porn, all of that. i have absolutely no idea where i had learned it from. i knew what sex was before my sister (who is 7 years older than i am) did. and i’ve always had a love hate relationship with my father. my brother (whos a year younger than me, he was my best friend) hated him completely. he was in and out of our lives a lot, but i remember hating him with every ounce of my being, but feeling so guilty about hating him so i tried to force myself to love him “bc that’s my dad” if that makes sense. my brother and i have always been super close. we don’t get along, and from the outside you’d think we hate each other, but we slept in the same bed throughout our childhood, always had to be near each other even if we were pissed at one another, so on and so forth. we have never discussed our traumas or anything to one another, but we both know there’s something there, were just not sure what. i was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder in 2016, with several “misdiagnosis” beforehand. my brother was diagnosed with bipolar II with psychosis. i also remember panicking at rape scenes, always being afraid of men, and never wanting to go out anywhere because i was terrified someone would hurt me. it’s been eating me alive lately, as my father has cancer and will be passing soon. i definitely want to know if he is the cause for all of this. i just don’t want to relive the memories if it did happen. i’m too afraid to talk to my brother about it, because any time our father is mentioned he breaks out into this super violent manic episode that can last for months.

2019-07-21T17:35:44.000Z

cg1ncb

ptsd

repressed memories?

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cg1ncb/repressed_memories/

kelannew

So I’ve been having a lot of issues with my partner, we live together and he has been my rock through a lot of this. But in the past few months we’ve been worn down by constant fighting. He needs so much space after we fight and my insecurities have lead me to think he was cheating (there was also I scarf that I found in our room that wasn’t mine), and I just needed so much affirmation that he couldn’t give anymore. We had a huge fight this week about how he was treating me, and I just felt like he wasn’t hearing or respecting how I felt. And then this morning after walking on eggshells trying to figure out how to ask him if he wanted to come to dinner at my parents, he responded so harshly. I snapped and left. I packed a few of my things and moved back out to my parents. I love him so much still, but I simply can’t take the emotional toll this is causing me anymore. Sorry for the long winded story I just needed some support.

2019-07-21T17:27:49.000Z

cg1k28

ptsd

Today I walked away from a relationship that was poisoning my mental health recovery.

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cg1k28/today_i_walked_away_from_a_relationship_that_was/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-07-21T16:32:09.000Z

cg0wm8

ptsd

Trying to cope- a vent session .... my morning

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cg0wm8/trying_to_cope_a_vent_session_my_morning/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-07-21T15:28:20.000Z

cg06s5

ptsd

A small light on a dark day...

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cg06s5/a_small_light_on_a_dark_day/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-07-21T13:38:42.000Z

cfz2so

ptsd

Looking for insight

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cfz2so/looking_for_insight/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-07-21T05:06:29.000Z

cfvgx1

ptsd

NSFW Domestic Violence & Falling in Love Again (TW)

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cfvgx1/nsfw_domestic_violence_falling_in_love_again_tw/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-07-21T03:52:13.000Z

cfuv49

ptsd

I love the good days and hate the bad ones

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cfuv49/i_love_the_good_days_and_hate_the_bad_ones/

rrr_rrr

This wasn't a good idea, because I felt sad throughout reading and depressed after reading. Jerome projects himself onto Seymour; both are war veterans. He was the one who could not relate to his surroundings any more. So he killed himself in his novel to release the half of himself from this material world, and so that the other half of himself who is intact can be alive in his own spiritual world, while another half of him is still in this material world. This is a loss. This is a pain. I did the same when my father sexually assaulted me. I split my soul and sent her into a dungeon where no one can hurt her. She is still asleep there, protected by two child protectors whom I've recently met through the IFS self-therapy. If you split yourself through methods such as sending your part into a dungeon or killing them in the material world for the purpose of setting them free, you are not a whole anymore. You'll always miss your lost other half. Back to Salinger's projection, this is the exact reason why his novels have a so much impact onto people: what happens in the novel was happening to him inside. When the fictional world is real, the boundaries between reality and fiction blur. It's really undesirable that Salinger has probably never had proper therapy for his PTSD. What would have he written if he had been healed through therapy in the earlier stage of his life? Would have he written something totally different? Anyway, I've been always drawn to novels where protagonists are alienated/estranged from their surroundings like Salinger's works and Less Than Zero by Bret Easton Ellis. Is this because of my early childhood traumas or just my personality?

2019-07-21T01:45:54.000Z

cftq8q

ptsd

I read A Perfect Day for Bananafish in bed just before I fell asleep last night.

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cftq8q/i_read_a_perfect_day_for_bananafish_in_bed_just/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-07-21T00:04:54.000Z

cfsr5p

ptsd

I want to ask my dying elderly stepdad who molested me (once when I was 12) why he did it before he dies but he’s so senile it’s possible he won’t remember. He came around wanting to reconcile with us after decades. Our phone convos were going ok until my flashbacks hit.

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cfsr5p/i_want_to_ask_my_dying_elderly_stepdad_who/

arcticfox_12

I can't concentrate, it's like my attention is being pulled in 2 different directions and I hate it. I also have chronic earworms and I am so frustrated.

2019-07-20T23:25:20.000Z

cfsdb9

ptsd

Concentration Help? Does anyone else have issues? Tips?

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cfsdb9/concentration_help_does_anyone_else_have_issues/

shakespearestark

Finally after three years. I fucking did it. It was hard. I kept forgiving, rinse and repeat. I let him make me believe he was capable of doing better and that we could move on past the awful traumatic event that he started. Years of therapy and still didn’t make much progress until the plug was pulled. I’m happier, healthier, and no longer being mentally abused or m*lested by someone who says they love me and just want “the old me back.” Anyways this could go on forever. I just wanted to say it somewhere. I left my toxic relationship. <3 this is probably the real start to my recovery

2019-07-20T21:55:26.000Z

cfrfdl

ptsd

I left my relationship that kick started my PTSD...

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cfrfdl/i_left_my_relationship_that_kick_started_my_ptsd/

denndeer258

I've been SO irritable since my dad died last August and it takes me forever to calm down. Like, I just stay mad for so long and I hate it but it's like I can't control it. Is this normal? What can I do on my own to help myself get better? I don't have access to therapy right now but I am on antidepressants but they aren't helping with this.

2019-07-20T21:48:18.000Z

cfrcko

ptsd

Is This Normal?

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cfrcko/is_this_normal/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-07-20T21:09:25.000Z

cfqxi1

ptsd

Nightmares?

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cfqxi1/nightmares/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-07-20T20:38:50.000Z

cfqkvh

ptsd

Can SSRIs treat PTSD if you’re still living in the abusive environment?

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cfqkvh/can_ssris_treat_ptsd_if_youre_still_living_in_the/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-07-20T20:11:15.000Z

cfq9un

ptsd

I have a question

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cfq9un/i_have_a_question/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-07-20T19:25:53.000Z

cfpr3d

ptsd

Not sure if I have PTSD, but some insight would be helpful.

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cfpr3d/not_sure_if_i_have_ptsd_but_some_insight_would_be/

[deleted]

TW: Flashbacks? I'm new at this, sorry My supposed best friend texted me that, about five minutes ago. The reaction in my body was fucking instantaneous, my shoulders tensed, my mouth got that dry bitter taste, my stomach twisted into knots and before I knew I was crying tears were streaming down my face, it went fucking dark for a second and my knees locked so fast I got dizzy. I haven't heard anyone say that to me in a long time, not since everything happened, months before the PTSD diagnosis, and he fucking knows that because the 'everything' I referred to is something we were subjected to together. I begged him, pleaded with him to stop saying things like that to me, I asked him why, and he said "I don't want you to feel alone..." Everyone I know has told me to cut him out of my life, but what they don't understand is that I can't, because maybe he's right. I feel ridiculous posting this, I'm sorry. But what the fuck am I supposed to do now?

2019-07-20T16:13:59.000Z

cfnjad

ptsd

"It’s not that nobody loves you it’s that nobody can love you the way I can"

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cfnjad/its_not_that_nobody_loves_you_its_that_nobody_can/

[deleted]

Long, long story short. &#x200B; I was homeless from mid 2014 to 2016. I was jobless from 2014 to spring of 2015. Now, I seem to be facing joblessness again and I am on my first week of job hunting, and all of the old feelings and triggers just keep coming back and back and back and back again. &#x200B; I'm so scared. I've got a part time small gig that will help ensure that I likely make rent (I'm going to talk to my new boss on Monday, the hours are slim. She said she's getting more work though and she seems swamped at the moment. She knows I don't want to lose my apartment and she's very sympathetic it seems), but... Jesus Christ in heaven, I've been here before and I don't like it. I don't like it at all. I'm so scared, man. When I got diagnosed in 2017 I was dumbfounded and cried over it. I thought only veterans and trauma survivors got this shit. I didn't think homeless people got it. It's been an albatross on my neck for years. &#x200B; I really regret changing jobs that led me to this circumstance. I'm just, so scared right now. I feel back in 2014 when I'm on Reddit. The hopeless scrolling. The job application process when I'm offsite, and the daily commutes with resumes in hand to restaurants while waiting for the call from other jobs. I'm just so... scared. I'm sick of it. &#x200B; The suicidal thoughts were the worst. I had those the first day (Monday). I just can't imagine making my mom have to bury my body, and I can't put my friends through that. It keeps me going. I don't want my mom to have to bury me. I don't WANT to die at all. It just seemed like a quick release, and I didn't act on it thank the Gods, but the thoughts were some of the most terrifying things I've felt in a long time.

2019-07-20T14:39:58.000Z

cfmihf

ptsd

The feelings of years ago just keep coming back.

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cfmihf/the_feelings_of_years_ago_just_keep_coming_back/

geedoll88

I don't think people realize how much strength it takes to pull your own self out of a dark place mentally. So if you've done that today or any day. I am proud of you! ~ Do not give up!

2019-07-20T14:32:07.000Z

cfmfjl

ptsd

Hey

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cfmfjl/hey/

[deleted]

Hi guys. First time posting here. Haven't had a flashback in over two years, my life's going great (comparatively), etc, but the nightmares have never slowed down. I've used cannabis with FANTASTIC results to treat them for over five years, with long breaks here and there for various reasons. I take two to three tokes before bed and sleep without waking up in fear and disgust, or feeling disturbed the entire next day. It's fantastic. It's the only time I use except for rare occasions when the kids are gone and I have the house to myself. But I'm pregnant again and I'm so damn exhausted. I'll lay in bed "sleeping" for nine hours and feel completely unrested. They're relentless and sometimes I can't get a particularly bad one out of my mind for DAYS. The feelings of worthlessness and paranoia are steadily mounting again and I think this has a lot to do with it, combined with my hormones. I've tried meditation before bed and after waking up at night, sleeping medication my baby doc approved that made them more vivid, incense, various teas, etc. I even re-tried all the diet changes that I tried with no success years ago. No dice. My OB doesn't seem to be taking me seriously, which I'm used to. Pretty sure he thinks I'm whining because I can't get stoned but I don't even use recreationally save for maybe a couple times a month. But whatever. I'm used to being treated like I'm making it up. Things have to be *bad* before I'll even mention any problems. Does anyone have suggestions I haven't tried? Anything. I'm so tired.

2019-07-20T14:29:42.000Z

cfmep3

ptsd

Tips for treating nightmares that aren't cannabis?

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cfmep3/tips_for_treating_nightmares_that_arent_cannabis/

Draculalia

This is kind of long, so I thank anyone who reads it and has any thoughts or empathy to share. Things have badly soured at my current apartment--I feel unsafe and the landlord literally won't listen to me or to reason--and it's taking me back too sharply to a bad housing situation in 2014, which is the source for a lot of my PTSD. In 2014, my landlady worked very hard to protect my roommate from my depression and suicide attempt. My landlady, roommate, and roommate's mom all teamed up to abuse me in various ways, try to evict me, etc for months while I was too depressed to move out. Once I moved out, I filed a discrimination complaint but the city didn't find in my favor. Right now, another tenant (not a roommate, thankfully) is really unstable and has a history of poor boundaries, which the landlord knows, and he's had a lot of issues with her. Since I stopped talking to her (because of her boundary issues) she's become verbally abusive, tried to beat down my door one night, yells "bitch bitch bitch" into my apartment. I've been to the cops four times--they won't even document my visits--gone before the magistrate, contacted legal aid, all with no help. There's no tenant resource center where I live. I know the mayor and wrote her about meeting but doubt it will help. The landlord is a befuddled 75 y/o man, and sometimes he seems willing to talk about this but often not. Two weeks ago I gave him a trespassing letter to sign and give to her--the magistrate's advice-and he readily agreed but hasn't done it and gets mad when I ask. Yesterday he said he was tired of being in the middle of a "personality conflict" and if I felt unsafe I should just move. Literally every other tenant has had problems with this woman, and she's bothered the landlord too with daily phone calls, etc. I'm triggered wildly, demoralized, depressed. Clearly I do need to move, but in my town it's really hard to find housing because of all the college students, harder still to find anything I can afford (looking into subsidizing), etc. But all that is the practical stuff. I'm just shellshocked that he's choosing her, that he's willing to give up a good tenant (me) rather than evict or help sort out a problematic tenant, literally talks over me. &#x200B; She has a criminal record but nothing violent, and I can stay with my mom nearby if things get really bad (it's not a great option to do now). Mostly I'm posting here because I need support and empathy on how terrifying it is when a new situation so acutely brings back a situation it's taken years to move on from. I'm also terrified that this will affect my ability to function, that I'll feel so much like a victim that I won't be able to do the writing that is my livelihood and my passion, that I'll get bitter in my relationships. I'm already unable to make an article deadline, which is really unusual for me. And I'm far from over that first situation, have done EMDR and all kinds of therapy, and now this. &#x200B; I feel awful and wilting and full of dread.

2019-07-20T13:23:28.000Z

cflr8r

ptsd

New housing nightmare triggering old one

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cflr8r/new_housing_nightmare_triggering_old_one/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-07-20T05:06:06.000Z

cfi37p

ptsd

Frustrated and just Venting TW: sexual/physical/child abuse mentions

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cfi37p/frustrated_and_just_venting_tw/

shakespearestark

I feel like this has totally screwed my sleep schedule and mental health, obviously can’t treat ptsd right if my sleep schedule is this messed up but it’s the cause of it :( argh I feel like I’m in a dumb endless loop.

2019-07-20T04:27:46.000Z

cfhr9x

ptsd

DAE wake up randomly after 3-4 hours of sleep and not be able to fall back asleep?

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cfhr9x/dae_wake_up_randomly_after_34_hours_of_sleep_and/

potatochipgrape

I posted yesterday about my diagnosis, and I still don’t feel comfortable explaining exactly what happened as it was a couple things, but I was extremely surprised last night. After everything happened I was terrified of being in the backseat of a car with a male figure. I’d tense up, cry and start to shake. I’ve been with my S/0 for almost a year and in the beginning I couldn’t sit in the backseat with them because I would freak out, I tried months ago and had a panic attack. But yesterday I was in the backseat with my S/O and I didn’t feel tense of afraid. I was actually able to hug my S/O and feel safe. I’m not sure what could have possibly changed, or if it’s possible that it’s temporary? Anyone have any experience with triggers no longer being a trigger?

2019-07-20T02:23:29.000Z

cfgmau

ptsd

Surprise?

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cfgmau/surprise/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-07-19T22:48:45.000Z

cfefca

ptsd

My bf just dumped me because of this disorder.

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cfefca/my_bf_just_dumped_me_because_of_this_disorder/

bbbybrggs

I’m absolutely fine sometimes, and sometimes I think about all the things I can’t do that my friends & others can without problem and I feel despondent. I want to be a normal person so badly, it sucks

2019-07-19T19:50:14.000Z

cfc97r

ptsd

Who else feeling like a freak for being traumatized 🤗

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cfc97r/who_else_feeling_like_a_freak_for_being/

4DankInhale20

I used to be a depressed kid growing up in a family with a lot of suppressed emotions and neglect. Back then I thought I am not enough and what my parents told me about my "inadequacies" was just a sign that I suck at being a person. Some years ago I started doing drugs as a way to cope with depression. Mostly weed, but I tried substances of all kinds. Then one day I had a traumatic experience on a psychedelic substance that completely fucked up my brain. To this day living is the absolute nightmare and it feels like I lost a huge part of myself. So now I am diagnosed with PTSD and severe depression. &#x200B; But I have to say: Without the traumatic experience I would have never realized how precious life can be. It has shown me how damn important it is now to understand what is going on in my head. It literally forces me to look into things and do everything I can to get better. Without all the suffering I would have never found out that my parents are emotionally abusing me and that I am actually quite good as a person. If this didn't happen I might have given up already and might be dead by now as I would still think I am that dumb broken thing.

2019-07-19T18:35:33.000Z

cfbbji

ptsd

How PTSD might save my life

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cfbbji/how_ptsd_might_save_my_life/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-07-19T17:11:19.000Z

cfa85q

ptsd

“I understand” — Do you? Do you really?

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cfa85q/i_understand_do_you_do_you_really/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-07-19T16:44:05.000Z

cf9vmu

ptsd

Sudden feelings of anxiety (possible trigger warning)

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cf9vmu/sudden_feelings_of_anxiety_possible_trigger/

animatedahegao

The past few months I have avoided really talking about what happened to me and I am close enough to someone where I have begun discussing what happened with them. The thing is, I have been having the worst night terrors and panic attacks the last few days when I am alone. I think telling someone in detail has some correlation to this. Honestly I just don't know where to turn to talk about it as I dont know if anyone will relate to this. I guess trying to remember everything has really fucked with me. Thanks for reading.

2019-07-19T16:26:04.000Z

cf9nnn

ptsd

Talking about my traumatic events has made my triggers worse. Anyone else?

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cf9nnn/talking_about_my_traumatic_events_has_made_my/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-07-19T12:16:56.000Z

cf6trf

ptsd

A vert good book for trauma and PTSD

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cf6trf/a_vert_good_book_for_trauma_and_ptsd/

AdditionalCondition

I rarely sleep a good amount because I'm always afraid of someone breaking into my room and kidnapping me/killing me. My parents also operate an Airbnb in our house and since my room doesn't have a lock it would be easy for someone to do so. Tomorrow I'm supposed to be woken up at 7, it's freaking 02:37 right now. I'm so sick of either being like this or having really disturbing nightmares. Plus my door doesn't close completely and the crack on my door is literally messing with me. Anyone else deals with this? I've dealt with it since I was a kid.

2019-07-19T07:38:16.000Z

cf4lys

ptsd

Anyone else struggle with going to sleep?

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cf4lys/anyone_else_struggle_with_going_to_sleep/

molllyyyy

i’m not sure if i do or not, but a lot of things have happened to me in the past. my brother was physically and emotionally abusive to my family. he would fight every night, hit my dad and sometimes my mom, smashed her car window, and threatened to kill us. he finally got help and is on medicine, but i have extreme anxiety from it. anytime he raises his voice or i feel like he’s in a bad mood i instantly become so scared and nervous and just i feel like i shut down. he has ptsd from when he did all of this and is on medicine. i think back to it and i just feel so horrible and i don’t know what to do. anytime someone fights i get so upset and i just think about those times and how hard it was for all of us.

2019-07-19T06:27:27.000Z

cf41rz

ptsd

do i have ptsd?

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cf41rz/do_i_have_ptsd/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-07-19T03:14:01.000Z

cf2at1

ptsd

Trouble eating

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cf2at1/trouble_eating/

gingerandgiggles

Most days I’m okay, but then there are days like today where none of my friends will respond, and work will be hard, and I just feel like I can’t function. I feel like I’m too damaged for anyone to give a fuck about me, and for anyone to really want me, whether platonically or romantically. Shit sucks.

2019-07-19T03:09:55.000Z

cf29b9

ptsd

sometimes I just feel too damaged to function

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cf29b9/sometimes_i_just_feel_too_damaged_to_function/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-07-19T02:18:19.000Z

cf1r0n

ptsd

6 years of civilian work

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cf1r0n/6_years_of_civilian_work/

Welwitschia792

Ok, I'll try to make this as short as I can but there's a lot to explain and its been bothering me for a while. I'm trying to reconcile all the conflicting feelings I have about my mother and figure out what kind of relationship I want to have with her and the rest of the family but I have a hard time trusting my own judgement and I don't know what to think. Any advise would be really appreciated. &#x200B; TW: child abuse &#x200B; There are things that happened to me as a child that I feel like I should be able to call 'abusive' but I still feel like a fraud saying that. I remember the constant state of terror I operated in without even realizing it at the time. I remember getting hit in the face and pinned to the floor on a daily basis. My mother screamed at us (me and my brother) constantly. She would grab a handful of my hair and yank back as hard as she could to make me kneel on the floor while she yelled at me. She got worse and worse over time and even became paranoid; she'd accuse me of calling her names behind her back and hit me for 'mouthing off', or accuse me of hiding things from her like bills or her keys. She told me she almost drowned me as a baby because I wouldn't stop crying and once in high school she shoved my head in the toilet and tried to hold me down because I didn't clean the bathroom well enough. These are the things I remember pretty clearly and then there are other things I can't seem to remember right? Like I only get pieces without context? Like I remember trying to hide a bloody lip before school with red lipstick but I don't know how I got it and I can't help feeling like maybe I just made it up then? Or maybe it was an accident? I know if I had a friend tell me this stuff I wouldn't have a hard time calling it abuse, and I know there shouldn't be a double standard where its one thing if it happens to someone else and another if its me, but saying all of this feels so wrong that typing it out makes me nauseous. And I guess given all the things I just said it makes sense to stay away from her but I can't help feeling like I'm over reacting, or being dramatic. I mean its not like she was never nice. I know she and my dad both worked hard and sacrificed a lot for the family; both my parents told me they loved me very often. My mother would brag to other parents about how smart I was and how helpful I was at home. They'd defend me at school when they thought teachers had been unfair about an assignment, or throw a surprise birthday party for me. I'm an adult now and I've been on my own for a while, but its been years of denial and years or assuming that everything wrong with me is my own fault because I'm weird or stupid or lazy. And now I'm in a rough patch and struggling on my own after splitting with my partner of 10 years, and my mom wants to mother me; she wants to lend money and come to visit and talk on the phone. I don't know how to feel about any of it. God knows I need all the help I can get right now and I don't have anyone else to turn to, but it just doesn't feel right to accept it when I know she doesn't feel like she did anything wrong. She's said as much. We were difficult, especially as teenagers. She had to keep us in line some times, but she never abused us. I've been running through all of this so much I don't even know which way's up anymore so any advice anyone has on reconciling with abusive relatives or even just some outside perspective would be really helpful. Thanks.

2019-07-19T02:15:33.000Z

cf1q0v

ptsd

Advice on reconciling with family?

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cf1q0v/advice_on_reconciling_with_family/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-07-19T01:01:53.000Z

cf0ybn

ptsd

Thought things were genuinely getting better

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cf0ybn/thought_things_were_genuinely_getting_better/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-07-18T23:55:20.000Z

cf08yo

ptsd

Not sure what i need [tw: suicide]

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cf08yo/not_sure_what_i_need_tw_suicide/

galapagosisland

My mom started becoming mentally ill when I was 13, my dad kept abusing her and she eventually snapped and became full blown. And he never got her the treatment, he just existed in denial for years. She wanders off outside and “talks to ghosts” and he continues to abuse her as if she was still sane and can even understand what he’s saying. I kept begging him to take her to the hospital and he never did, and he now tells me to take her on walks as if that’s going to cure an illness. I don’t want to, it kills me inside. And now I have dreams that she’s on her last few moments saying “when it’s your turn you’ll be strong too.” I’m now 26 and so depressed I want to die, I FAILED her. I should’ve been there but I can’t even take care of myself because I’m unraveling from all the trauma. It’s so fucking unfair, there’s a human being suffering so greatly and she never got treatment. Please tell me what to do. Is this my fault? Help me.

2019-07-18T20:57:29.000Z

cey5d4

ptsd

Please help me

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cey5d4/please_help_me/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-07-18T20:55:58.000Z

cey4nw

ptsd

Can I do something to her at this point

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cey4nw/can_i_do_something_to_her_at_this_point/

[deleted]

Hi Guys. First time posting here. Long story short I was randomly almost assaulted by a crazy homeless person walking to my bus stop. I tried to walk away, but it continued and he was kicking scooters at me etc... Good thing that was the end of it as he just disappeared after that. It happened so fast, so sudden and so randomly. I didn't process what just happened until after he left. This took me back to my younger days of being bullied and the trauma associated with them etc... and I was affected by it the rest of the day. If you dealt with something like this, what would be the best way to get to the root of your trauma? Therapy? reading? subreddits (hehe)? I feel like I have not properly dealt with earlier trauma in my life and it rears its ugly head whenever I face stuff like this as an adult. Any constructive input will be welcome thanks

2019-07-18T20:36:16.000Z

cexvks

ptsd

Best course of action for PTSD

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cexvks/best_course_of_action_for_ptsd/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-07-18T18:00:00.000Z

cevwfu

ptsd

Triggered again, struggling. Tw child abuse

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cevwfu/triggered_again_struggling_tw_child_abuse/

insanElf83

It's hard to live with cptsd I wake up in the morning and think and feel like I am going to have a great day. Then minutes to hour usually everyday the flashbacks come and it ruins my whole thoughts of being happy and just feeling great. The depression of having these flashbacks and anger and thoughts that I cant do nothing to change what happened. Then I have to spend all day meditating and trying to get my mind back to some sense and mode of being able to handle what I go through everyday usually. I know there is always hope but it will get hard and it will be a long bumpy road to my goals of being healed as of for everyone that goes through what I been through.

2019-07-18T16:21:32.000Z

ceumno

ptsd

It is hard living with cptsd...

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/ceumno/it_is_hard_living_with_cptsd/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-07-18T14:53:37.000Z

cethzh

ptsd

6 years out from my diagnosis and I feel like the only thing that has improved is my ability to hide it.

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cethzh/6_years_out_from_my_diagnosis_and_i_feel_like_the/

[deleted]

I started lexapro, lamictal, and prazosin for the first time a couple of days ago and have felt non-stop nausea since then. It comes in waves and when it’s not so bad, I try to eat as much as I can because otherwise I won’t be able to. Fortunately, I am currently not working due to injury related to my PTSD so there’s not much to interfere with, but especially after taking the medications, it is becoming close to unbearable. Additionally, if I throw up after taking the meds, should I take them again or just wait 24 hours until I am supposed to take them next? Thanks in advance

2019-07-18T11:39:34.000Z

cerd18

ptsd

Recently started 3 new medications, feeling nauseous almost 24/7.

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cerd18/recently_started_3_new_medications_feeling/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-07-18T09:26:44.000Z

ceq7n7

ptsd

Trigger Warning (NSFW/child abuse)

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/ceq7n7/trigger_warning_nsfwchild_abuse/

[deleted]

ive been pretty upset all night after a few comments made by a family member &#x200B; this family member of mine... i literally dont talk to at all, i have no conversation with him ever, and hes so rude all the time that i dont even bother to try to talk to him anymore. hes the type of person that if you give them a thoughtful expensive christmas gift, he'd smash it to pieces in front of you and say "i didnt want it", then accept a gift from a stranger and be very thankful for it. &#x200B; so i walked by my family members room, i went to the refrigerator to get a drink, and this unprovoked family member told me that "i have issues" and that i "need to go to rehab because im on medication". i didnt say anything to him for him to say this to me, but i just replied back to him after that by saying "okayyyyyyyy" and then proceeded to get my drink and go back to my room and close the door. &#x200B; this family member of mine is literally on 17 medications and gives them away to people because he doesnt actually need them. then he has the nerve to judge me? ...im only on 3 medications (1 for epilepsy/convulsions, 1 for depression/anxiety, 1 for PTSD/sleep). my epilepsy medication is life sustaining, the other 2 i only take once a day. &#x200B; i was so upset all night over these comments he made to me, it felt so unnesecessary, so unprovoked, and completely ignorant to say to somebody. &#x200B; after i told you all about his background with his 17 medications, why would he suggest ME going to rehab for taking 3 medications? this family member is addicted to benzos as well... isnt that something HE needs to go to rehab for? yesterday he literally took 5 pills in 4 hours and hes only prescribed them 1 per 24 hours because of how strong they are &#x200B; i hate when people judge others but not themselves... im completely devastated right now... depressed, mad, and just all around upset. &#x200B; any input is welcome, thank you

2019-07-18T09:13:46.000Z

ceq3tc

ptsd

an unprovoked family member upset me about my medication

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/ceq3tc/an_unprovoked_family_member_upset_me_about_my/

ConejoMuerte

I was told by my therapist today that I suffer from hypervigilance. The confusing part is that I don't necessarily see this as a bad thing. In today's times with most people seeming to be nose deep in their cell phones, being very aware of your surroundings at least to me seems like a good thing. This is where I get really confused. I was around gangs and organised crime for the majority of my life. But that time period of watching my back 24/7 is over and im aware that I'm no longer in danger. Im not fearful of much, and im not trying to make myself sound like an online tough guy. But ill use this as an example I was robbed at gun point along with my friend and his girlfriend at the time. While they cried and basically begged not to be killed, even tho I was terrified, my outward demeanor was pretty damn calm. To the point where the thiefs became angry that I wasnt showing emotions they expected. Is this just a sign that I have been through a lot and when things get bad I am able to control myself? Would this have something to do with hypervigilance? At the time of the event the only thing that went through my mind was that if i am going to die in this parking lot I dont want to give these people the satisfaction of knowing I was afraid or that I would not beg them to spare me. Im really confused and will bring this up in my next therapy session. I just wanted to ask the opinions some of u guys may have on this.

2019-07-18T09:07:41.000Z

ceq23m

ptsd

Hypervigilance and im confused

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/ceq23m/hypervigilance_and_im_confused/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-07-18T08:02:25.000Z

cepke8

ptsd

Can the amygdala decrease in size?

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cepke8/can_the_amygdala_decrease_in_size/

tropicalsadness

Hey everyone, so I don’t have a PTSD diagnosis and I’m sorry if this post doesn’t fit here very well but I feel like this community might be able to relate to my feelings at the moment. A month and a half ago, I was beat up badly by 3 other people at a club downtown with little to no motive. I ended up with a lot of facial trauma, and multiple hospital visits to deal with the broken nose. It was only a month after the incident that I finally got all of the matted tangles out of my hair. It was just bad. I thought I had gotten over the worst of it emotionally. I tried to take what lessons I could from it and moved forward. Then I visited a club last Friday, for the first time since the incident. I wasn’t worried beforehand and I actually had an amazing time. Until now. My friends and I are planning to revisit the same club this Friday (it’s a local club, where everyone is quite nice and there’s even some familiar faces) but all of a sudden I’m having flashbacks. I’m dealing with a lot of hyperventilating and heart racing as well. I’m suddenly scared to be getting back into these outings. I don’t want irrational fear to take over my social life, because I am very familiar with this club and I know that everyone’s really nice there. I’m just terrified to enter an atmosphere where the same thing could happen again. I’m having these vivid visualizations of scenarios that could possibly take place and I’m just scared shitless. Any advice on how to calm myself down, or how to approach this issue? Thanks.

2019-07-18T05:36:22.000Z

ceodmm

ptsd

Terrified of going out after being beat up at a club

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/ceodmm/terrified_of_going_out_after_being_beat_up_at_a/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-07-18T05:09:09.000Z

ceo4uv

ptsd

I'm flashing-back unexpectedly hard tonight.

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/ceo4uv/im_flashingback_unexpectedly_hard_tonight/

I_am_Me21

So I ignored my trauma for years. In the past month and a half I have been actually talking about it. It has been painful. I don’t even think there is a word strong enough to label the level of pain. With talking about this part of my life something unfortunate happened. I was unable to let anyone touch me. Don’t even brush my hand. I would tense up immediately. I didn’t want to ever be touched again. I don’t know my full feelings. Maybe it was fear maybe it was pushing affection away. But right now it doesn’t matter because tonight I hugged a friend that was in need of one. They didn’t ask for one. They didn’t make me feel bad. I knew he needed someone and without even thinking I grabbed onto him. I wasn’t anxious. I didn’t tense up. I didn’t obsess over it or feel unsafe. And it was a guy, which makes this moment even more amazing. Well of course my therapy session from earlier finally hit me and then I started crying about it and he grabbed my shoulder and rubbed my back and I felt comfort. I felt touch that was actually made of care, love and support. There was no selfish gain because of it and I wasn’t an object. I was a person.

2019-07-18T05:00:17.000Z

ceo22c

ptsd

Recently opened up

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/ceo22c/recently_opened_up/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-07-18T04:49:43.000Z

cenymw

ptsd

How to explain PTSD to someone with aspergers

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cenymw/how_to_explain_ptsd_to_someone_with_aspergers/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-07-18T04:29:17.000Z

cenro7

ptsd

Where did y'all go to get diagnosed?

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cenro7/where_did_yall_go_to_get_diagnosed/

van_illa_bean

Hi me and my bf have been dating for almost 2 years the past year I’ve been having a really hard time, even the sound of loud talking throws me into a panic and I shut down. I tried talking to him but he acted like it wasn’t a big deal and now I’m having flashbacks several times a day, and everything is triggering me.

2019-07-18T04:26:46.000Z

cenqt8

ptsd

How do I talk to my boyfriend about it

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cenqt8/how_do_i_talk_to_my_boyfriend_about_it/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-07-18T03:05:41.000Z

cemxe4

ptsd

Sorry for the novel. I'm not doing well. Army Vet struggling with anxiety. I tried journaling, but that just makes me feel worse as I scream into the void. NSFW in a few parts.

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cemxe4/sorry_for_the_novel_im_not_doing_well_army_vet/

k8iew24

It really irritates me that the word "trigger" or "triggered" has been turned into a joke and a meme and people just casually throw it around whenever something is mildly inconvenient. Then when I try to explain to people what my triggers are, they treat it as if I'm just being overdramatic because of the contexts in which they normally see the word. It makes me feel self-conscious about asking someone not to do something because it's triggering since I worry that people who don't know what I have been through will assume I'm just an overly sensitive person who needs to "get over it"

2019-07-18T03:04:45.000Z

cemx2h

ptsd

The word "trigger"

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cemx2h/the_word_trigger/

potatochipgrape

I was diagnosed with PTSD literally three weeks ago and i just can’t wrap my head around it. I’ve had a really hard time telling anyone about the incident that triggered it. I was threatened if I talked about it and every time I try, I just freeze and start crying and it all starts to come back. My parents and friends are aware of the diagnosis but only my S/O knows even a small bit of what caused it, as I’ve had multiple episodes in front of them so I thought it was only right to tell them why I suddenly seem to be somewhere else mentally and freak out when anyone touches my sides or grabs my inner elbow. The incident occurred when I was 13 ( More than 5 years ago )but I didn’t get help until my S/O ( my absolute angel ) finally told me that I needed see someone. My S/O suspected that I may have ptsd based on the small parts I was able to explain about what happened. And my reactions to things. I guess I’m just looking for advice, how can I accept this diagnosis when I haven’t even really accepted the reality of what actually happened to me?

2019-07-18T02:52:15.000Z

cemsg7

ptsd

New to the diagnosis

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cemsg7/new_to_the_diagnosis/

[deleted]

2019-07-18T01:03:21.000Z

celnf9

ptsd

DAE hear voices just before they fall asleep?

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/celnf9/dae_hear_voices_just_before_they_fall_asleep/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-07-18T00:59:56.000Z

celm1d

ptsd

Help Me Understand Husbands PTSD

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/celm1d/help_me_understand_husbands_ptsd/

starsonthatgirl

It might be the only way I can really get at the root of all of this and maybe eventually feel safe just existing but I’ve been trying not to think of these things all my life. Been drinking it down since I was 10. I’m 30 now. Self investment, acknowledgement and assessment is the freaking worst. Hardest thing I will ever have to do. I’m so glad I’m doing it now instead of when I’m 50, etc.

2019-07-18T00:56:07.000Z

celkns

ptsd

I don’t want to analyze my childhood

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/celkns/i_dont_want_to_analyze_my_childhood/

[deleted]

[removed]

2019-07-17T23:46:05.000Z

cekspp

ptsd

Church of Cannabis

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cekspp/church_of_cannabis/

elasticheart1388

I suffer from PTSD due to being abused for 17 years of my life. I am safe now. I just have an extremely hard time working anywhere, especially some place that we are supposed to be quiet and the only reason I can gather is I get left alone with my thoughts and my mind just races. I am working now, but yesterday afternoon I had a meltdown before time to leave to go to work. I couldn't stop crying, sobbing and just had this feeling that if I got away from my husband's reach I was going to completely fall to pieces. This has happened about ten times in the past few years, sometimes we have worked together and sometimes we haven't. One of the times we worked together, they wanted to sit us far apart and I completely freaked out. Where I am working now, if he drops me off from work or even if I drive myself in that day I have a very hard time leaving him. I don't know if it is the fact of leaving someplace I feel safe, or leaving a person who I feel is my protector in the case that something happened to me (not saying anything would happen, just using an example). I don't really understand what is going on here. I don't mind to work one bit in the least, I do enjoy the work I do, the supervisor's aren't the best but I mean you will find that anywhere. I have had to run some nights to the bathroom and just cry for a few minutes, go back to work and try to get through the rest of the night without breaking down again. Is it just me? I just have a hard time figuring out what is going on here, we aren't supposed to talk very much at work at all. I mean they will have a hissy fit if you even turn around and ask the person behind you for something. I miss the job that I had talking on the phones to people honestly. It didn't pay as much but I felt like I was actually helping someone. I have thought about going back to call centers, I really do like the call center atmosphere. I can talk over a phone line, that doesn't hurt my anxiety. Mine is the face to face kind that throws me into a mess. I just wondered however through all my rambling, does anyone else feel this way when they work somewhere? Atleast this time I signed the ADA form so they know that they hired someone with PTSD and anxiety, and I even told them so before I signed the paper. Never can tell when someone might not want to hire another person due to those problems. I know they aren't supposed to discriminate but places do this all the time. I just don't know if this is some sort of seperation anxiety or if its something in my mind causing my thoughts to race and over think things? I have thought about applying for disability because this makes the fourth time that I have lost a job due to my anxiety if I do lose this job. I am trying my best not to do that but its hard when you fear something so much that you can't force yourself to walk one foot in front of the other to do something. It is like being thrown into a dark room if you are terrified of that and I apologize if anyone is, I am highly terrified of the dark. I don't see how sometimes I even function with the fears and anxieties that I have, but I am trying to make it work. Just looking for maybe some reassurance. Thanks for whatever you might have out there for me.

2019-07-17T23:41:54.000Z

cekr0l

ptsd

Need to ask some questions

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cekr0l/need_to_ask_some_questions/

Moderatelyfuckedup

Sorry this is so long, just need some support and validation before I go crazy lol. I want to preface this by saying I’m 19 (female) and I’ve never been in any sort of emotional or sexual relationship before. Never held hands or kissed or anything. I just started a new job about a week ago and started occasionally talking to one of the higher up guys in my wing, asking for tips and advice. It all was very innocent, we briefly talked about music but other than that it was all work talk. Guess I should also mention he gave me his number at this point to “send me music”. Then yesterday his ride left without him so I offered to take him home since it was on my way to my next destination. Once again everything remained very innocent. I took him home and left with no issue. Then today, I hadn’t seen him all day so I assumed he wasn’t there. Until the very end of my shift when I was getting ready to head out. I offered if he ever needed a ride again that I was available, and he asked if I could take him home today so I said yes. The car ride was again fine, we talked about music and movies and his life aspirations. Then once we pulled up to his place he asked me something about if I wanted coffee or something and that’s all he had in his apartment. So I knew at this point he wanted me to come inside and since things had been so innocent so far I thought nothing of it and took his invitation. Things were fine, he showed me some of his music and then eventually offered for me to sit on the couch and gave me the remote to pick a show. This is when I started to be suspicious because of the whole “Netflix and chill” thing but I wrote it off. Then he offered to smoke a blunt which I knew was a bad idea for me because I’ve been trying to quit, and hadn’t smoked in several days so I knew my tolerance would be really low. But regardless I smoked and I feel like this is when things went south. He kept putting his arm up behind me on the couch which just made me feel uncomfortable, and I’m sure it was obvious because he asked me if I was nervous. To which I was honest and told him yes, that I am generally anxious especially around new people. He agreed and made it not seem like a big deal. I don’t really remember any other physical signs but I just felt very pressured for some reason. I knew that he wanted sex by his body language but I was just so nervous and paranoid about anything happening. Basically ever since it happened I feel extremely traumatized, almost like I was forced to do something but I know that wasn’t the case which makes me feel like I’m over exaggerating things. As soon as I got home I tried to nap but I just kept playing the situation over and over in my head, my heart was racing and I felt so sick. I’m already not going to work tomorrow and now I’m contemplating just never going back. If anyone could provide some insight or related experiences so I don’t feel so crazy and alone that would be greatly appreciated.

2019-07-17T23:39:01.000Z

cekpuu

ptsd

I feel so traumatized but also like I’m over exaggerating the whole thing.

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cekpuu/i_feel_so_traumatized_but_also_like_im_over/

firefox5018

Every morning I wake up very hungry and very weak in my arms and legs. I no longer have as much energy as I once did. I’m also a lot more jumpy and it’s super easy to startle me now. I have constant headaches and insomnia. This has been going on for weeks now. May someone please help me find out what’s wrong?

2019-07-17T21:53:56.000Z

cejgw6

ptsd

I think stress is really hurting me.

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cejgw6/i_think_stress_is_really_hurting_me/

throwaway0706199

Sometimes I have all the PTSD symptoms (I am diagnosed), and I have an insanely hard time living my life. Then every once in a while I have a few days or a week that I just feel okay and it’s all better. Does anyone else have this happen? It makes me feel like maybe I’m making it all up... I can’t help but be waiting for the next panic attack or flashback all the time.

2019-07-17T17:23:02.000Z

cefvvz

ptsd

just “okay” sometimes?

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cefvvz/just_okay_sometimes/

Cxdhd1

So iv I'm now 21 and iv only just been diagnosed with cptsd for something that happened 15+years ago my mother had PTSD before I was born and from what I can remember I spent my childhood careing for her while she had a number of abusive boyfriends and family members. So recently I thought it was time for me to try and deal with it all. But I feel like I messed up and made everything worse. Because of what happened I struggle to be around men and me being a 21 year old male I think is just pethetic I shouldn't be like this. I should be able to help and provide for my mother in her times of need yet I'm somehow worse than she is yet she got "the brunt" of the abuse. I'm at a lose of what to do I feel like I should just give up trying to get better and just block everyone and everything out again. That part of my life was simpler. Sorry for this being so long I just needed to vent I'm not expecting any help as frankly I don't deserve any but I'd like to somehow know I doing the best I can

2019-07-17T15:39:03.000Z

ceehv6

ptsd

Good days and bad weeks

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/ceehv6/good_days_and_bad_weeks/

nazar10001

E.g. https://ibb.co/Rb64YmZ - image of my mind map. If so, whats your methood?

2019-07-17T15:32:37.000Z

ceeerz

ptsd

Do any of you guys uses mind map to try and make sense of your ptsd?

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/ceeerz/do_any_of_you_guys_uses_mind_map_to_try_and_make/

Porgarama

Pretty much the question. I’m having a really hard time with what to do. I love my job, but can’t get away from bullying behavior by a co-worker which then triggers my PTSD and anxiety.

2019-07-17T13:24:50.000Z

cecsy5

ptsd

Is it ever a good idea to bring up your PTSD to your supervisor if someone at work is triggering it?

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cecsy5/is_it_ever_a_good_idea_to_bring_up_your_ptsd_to/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-07-17T11:56:31.000Z

cebub7

ptsd

I Dont Know...

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cebub7/i_dont_know/

[deleted]

its all just starting to sink in to me now... while the past year remains clear to me, i lost the past 10 years of my life in a "blur" almost. &#x200B; old friends and acquaintances that i am now talking to again have been concerned about me alot. one friend said that she thought i disappeared for the past 10 years, one friend was told by another that i might have "died" from by disabilities, and another friend is so concerned about me that she now texts me every 4 hours during the day to see if im ok and to make sure i dont disappear again. &#x200B; while i have numerous physical and mental disabilities, i cant seem to remember what i did for the past 10 years. this causes me to be genuinely worried about my future in ways i never have been before. &#x200B; its not like i was sheltered or hidden away from society. i have realized though... i am very undependable lately, i told a friend i would text her back 2 days ago and never did, then today she texted me asking what happened and i told her id text her back in 2 hours, now its been over 14 hours and i just dont want to look at the phone or even pick it up. &#x200B; could this be related to my schizophrenia, PTSD, schizoid personality disorder, severe depression, or generalized anxiety disorder somehow? &#x200B; any advice? any input? any thoughts? thank you

2019-07-17T09:07:07.000Z

ceacp2

ptsd

I lost 10 years of my life... but i don't comprehend it still?

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/ceacp2/i_lost_10_years_of_my_life_but_i_dont_comprehend/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-07-17T08:24:26.000Z

cea0vp

ptsd

I don’t know what to do anymore.

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cea0vp/i_dont_know_what_to_do_anymore/

dfeigs2

Every night I struggle to go to sleep due to the fear of closing my eye and having a flash back. I am on heavy sleeping pills, CBD and melatonin which I take every night. That’s not the problem, I could sleep if I wasn’t so scared but every time I close my eyes it is a guaranteed flash back I have to suffer through again. Does anyone else struggle with this.

2019-07-17T07:31:52.000Z

ce9ml9

ptsd

Too afraid to close my eyes

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/ce9ml9/too_afraid_to_close_my_eyes/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-07-17T06:32:25.000Z

ce94jw

ptsd

I’m sad

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/ce94jw/im_sad/