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like 0

Amazon.com: Deathbed: Tanya Dempsey, Brave Matthews, Meagan Mangum, Joe Estevez: Amazon Instant Video

3.99

1/3

0negative

Worst haunted bed movie ever, kiddos.

If you like cheese and crap all rolled together, you just might enjoy this one. The lead actress looks like a poor man's Jennifer Aniston. She is involved in a few "sex scenes" and one shower scene and somehow manages to reveal zero in the way of nudity. The actor who plays the murderer is listed in the credits as Dukey Flyswatter (I'm guessing he didn't want his real name associated with this film). The male lead is always either getting something to drink, or recommending that his wife drink something (specifically, hot chocolate) to make her feel better. You'd think that a girl who is forever drinking hot chocolate would taste the difference on the occasion when 20 valiums are crushed up in her mug (but then again, I've never tasted a valium so I guess it's possible that they are sweet like candy). I did laugh out loud a few times during this movie, though. Pay special attention to how the husband "soothes" his wife in the scene after she tearfully reveals the painful story of how her uncle used to handcuff her to her bed and molest her as a child... priceless stuff. There is also a laugh-out-loud kill sequence where our heroine appears to be swinging her hammer in every direction other than where her bloody target is lying. But the most hilarious moment of all is featured in the "making of" segment. The actress who plays the ghost girl recounts how excited she was to get a shot at staring in Death Bed after reading and being "won over" by the amazing script! Ahhhhh ha ha ha ha!!

0Amazon Instant Video

Amazon.com: Deathbed: Tanya Dempsey, Brave Matthews, Meagan Mangum, Joe Estevez: Amazon Instant Video

3.99

0/2

0negative

Movie gets 4 stars. The DVD gets 0.

For the record, I am reviewing the DVD released by Shadow Entertainment on February 10, 2004. I say this because there was another DVD of this film released back in 2002 that sounds a lot better. Like the previous reviewer said, if you can get that DVD with the bonus feature of "Castle Freak", then get it instead.The movie is good, but it misses on two counts. If you're a gore freak, then you will be disappointed. There's no gore until the end, and even then it's not that much. If you're into suspenseful horror that builds, you'll like this film until the end. I am not a gore freak, so I enjoyed most of the movie. In the end, I am happy with this purchase. It's just that this film switches its tone so suddenly, it's disorienting. The ending was a complete mess. My conclusion is that the filmmaker wanted to try something high-brow, but had to relent to the gore-hound financers. It's a shame, because the film had a great tone until it degenerated into a cheap knockoff of "The Shining".Overall though, I liked the movie. I did not like the DVD. I'll give it some credit, the picture was crisp for a 19-inch analog 4:3 TV set. However, the sound was bare-bones, just sufficient to get by. There were no special features except for four trailers with one of those being this title itself. There was no chapter select menu. Heck, viewing the disc on my Sony Playstation 2, I couldn't even get chapter information runtime or title information runtime countdown. The only thing I got was a total title runtime clock. At first, I thought there wasn't even any chapter breaks, but there are. The chapter breaks are just invisible.In the end, I'm happy with this purchase. The DVD is horrible, and if I ever had the opportunity to purchase the 2002 DVD release, I would. I would then use this one as a coaster, but when the price is about $10, it doesn't bother me too badly. However, I really have to express my dislike for Shadow Entertainment and the recent Koch Vision Entertainment releases. They're basically putting it to the consumers, as I have made several purchases and been thoroughly disappointed with all of them. In fact, the last purchase I made from Shadow Entertainment, I swore I would never buy from them again. I bought this DVD without knowing and was surprised by that fact, but I was not surprised when the DVD turned out to be crap.Bottom Line: Decent-to-Good movie, Horrible DVD. Find the 2002 DVD with Castle Freak on it instead. Finally, don't by a Shadow Entertainment DVD. No joke, if you had the software and a DVD-writer, YOU could make a better disk!

0Amazon Instant Video

Amazon.com: The Closet (English Subtitled): Gerard Depardieu, Thierry Lhermitte, Michele Laroque, Daniel Auteuil: Amazon Instant Video

9.99

0/1

0negative

Fourth order of the same movie.

I have ordered this DVD four times. Picture is fine, music is fine, subtitles are fine BUT none of the received DVD has french dialogs/ actors' voices. Does somebody else have the same experience??Steve

0Amazon Instant Video

Amazon.com: The Closet (English Subtitled): Gerard Depardieu, Thierry Lhermitte, Michele Laroque, Daniel Auteuil: Amazon Instant Video

9.99

5/38

0negative

'American Pie' with subtitles

This is uncomfortable drivel. O look, of course it's funny to some extent - Gerard Derpadieu mouths off homophobic abuse, not once but repeatedly, and his derision is (surprise, surprise) a shield against his own inclinations - yes, you will laugh, but essentially this same joke is repeated a dozen times, by which time you might well have ceased laughing; then Gerard has some kind of mental breakdown, and mental illness is, in the best Hollywood tradition, a source of much merriment. This cliche is typical of the entire film - other examples: if you need a villain, make sure you cast a foreigner (thus Daniel Auteuil's ex-wife is Dutch); to sustain a plot you must have an implausibly successful romance (I think the writer consulted 'Revenge of the Nerds' for some plot tips here); the cliches surrounding homosexuality are also deployed relentlessly, and reflex and habit will have you laughing along with the rest of the audience, at least for a while - just don't think too much about why you are laughing, 'don't think too much' being, I suppose, a worthy motto for most present-day popular cinema. Personally, I wish that I'd contented myself with viewing the trailer and giggling at the poster featuring Daniel Auteuil wearing an oversized condom - the film itself adds little to these pleasures.

0Amazon Instant Video

Amazon.com: The Closet (English Subtitled): Gerard Depardieu, Thierry Lhermitte, Michele Laroque, Daniel Auteuil: Amazon Instant Video

9.99

3/38

0negative

Offensive

This is one of the most offensive and anti-gay movies I have ever seen. Don't let the title or the box fool you. Every character in this movie is oozing with homophobic sentiment. I was shocked that such a film could come out of France. If you're a homophobe and want to sit and watch a bunch of hateful people sit around and attack and harass (verbally and physically) a man who pretends to be gay to save his job, then rent this and snack on a can of worms.HIDEOUS!

0Amazon Instant Video

Amazon.com: No Turning Back: Gage Hunter Bebank, Cindy Benson, Gina Bernstein, Niki Botelho: Amazon Instant Video

0.00

9/12

0negative

One of the worst movies I've ever seen

Poor story, worse acting, appalling film making. This film sems to have been made to "showcase" the dubious talent of its maker and lead "actor". I've seen hammers with more expression and talent. Don't bother unless you're masochistic enough to sit through it. Less enjoyable than chewing tyres.

0Amazon Instant Video

Amazon.com: interludes: Unavailable: Amazon Instant Video

3.99

0/2

0negative

Long drawn out...all over the place!!!!

I saw this movie at the UMFF. It was toooo long. It was into 67 mins and still haven't got to the point. The storylines ...well so are all over the place. I would recommend putting on this movie if you have insomia. Trust me it will put you to sleep

0Amazon Instant Video

Amazon.com: Turistas (Unrated): Josh Duhamel, Melissa George, Olivia Wilde, Desmond Askew: Amazon Instant Video

3.99

1/2

0negative

Just how bad was this movie?

It was so bad that the first thing I did after watching it was look up the director on IMDB to make sure I never waste my time or money on anything he does again.Harvesting precious organs from tourists, you say? Oh, that explains why as soon as they run, you hack them up or shoot them.A beautiful location, as well as a fair amount of money were squandered on this pointless film. The cheesy special effects they tried to pass off as gore made the film even worse.I love the horror/thriller genre. I love a truly bad, low budget gore flick. This picture was simply meaningless. Not even so bad it's good.On a lighter note, some may find the special effects featurette quite entertaining and bring a silver lining to the experience. After sitting through this time waster, you will indeed get a laugh when they explain how they accomplished such "stunning effects" as using latex wounds and styrofoam rocks. To hear the director taking it all so seriously and boasting about the films "accomplishments" was quite funny indeed. A Troma film has more convincing special effects.

0Amazon Instant Video

Amazon.com: Turistas (Unrated): Josh Duhamel, Melissa George, Olivia Wilde, Desmond Askew: Amazon Instant Video

3.99

4/7

0negative

Typical, Tired and Lame. Plenty of of the usual gore is substituted for actual scares, smarts and originality.

Like almost every recent "horror" film that has lazily tried to "update" (read: just make more of the same only flashier and gorier) the "teen slasher" genre, this is another film that is just gore for gore's sake. Of course, if you have heard any press for this film, or just take one look at the DVD box, you will realize this right off the bat. I gave it a chance because I heard a few things about it being somewhat picturesque and exotic, both in its photography, locations, and scantily clad female cast members. But there is not more of any of that than you find in most movies of this type (maybe even less, though, admittedly, the cast are a bunch of lookers), instead "Turistas" ratchets up the gore for the same group of indiscriminating movie-goers who seem to associate horror and scares with blood and shock value. The more of this stuff I see, the less effective it is."Turistas" is especially over the top, but not in a good, cool, or entertaining way. Sometimes excessive violence can be done in either a stylish, entertaining way ("Kill Bill") or in a disturbingly realistic, insiders-view way (pick a great war or mob film, or a hard-boiled cop drama). Truly good horror movies are almost always considered such, and scarier, because psychological thrills are placed ahead of blood and guts (what's scarier, "The Shining" or "Friday the 13th"?). Here a chick falls off a cliff, cracks her head on the way down and goes splat right in front of the camera, a bad guy is stabbed in the eye with a shish kabob stick by an even badder guy who keeps pushing and grinding until the bad guy dies, some dude has a gaping wound in his head stapled shut (we are treated to viewing all 4 staples go in) and that is all before we get to the slice and dice surgeries that are the actual plot of this film.Needless to say, none of this is scary, its all unpleasant, but not because it is disturbing, and it sure isn't cool or fun in a stylish, over the top sort of way; you just sortta shrug as if to say, "What else did I expect?" Every time I think one of these movies might be different, offer something original, or actually try to be scary and compelling rather than just go for gore, I am let down. And I say that as someone who is a fan of horror movies. Good horror movies. Inventive, original ones. At least something that is distinguishable from the last one like it.Five years from now when someone mentions "Turistas" in the same breath as "Wolf Creek," "Hostel," "Wrong Turn" etc (far too many to list, but you get the idea), how many of us will remember which one is which? I would include the recent "Texas Chainsaw" prequel/remake, "The Hills Have Eyes" remake and sequel, and the "House of Wax" remake from two years back in that list, but since they are remakes - and in the case of "Wax," famous for killing off Paris Hilton - that alone will set them apart; but all these films are the same: a bunch of kids far away from home make bad decisions after finding themselves stranded in remote area where marauding killers just happen to be - falling down while being chased and running upstairs instead of out the door ensues.Like all these misguided attempts, "Turistas" just wants to shock, as if we are going to give it points for trying to one up the disgusting quotient from the last film of its type. If that is what you consider "scary," then this movie is for you.Oh, as if you couldn't guess, this movie is also amazingly dumb and predictable. The plot not only is absurd, but you can see all the signs of where it is going right from the get go. The script is constructed in such a fashion that all the dialog in the early going clues you in to what will happen in the rest of the movie. If you've seen enough of these things, you'll know just what I'm talking about. When I saw the tourist bus break down, I just couldn't believe that that even on a bus in Brazil the writers still found away to use the old standby of the broken down vehicle as a catalyst for all that will happen to the characters. From there, almost every other cliché is utilized. It is really a pathetically predictable experience.No need to be tourist for that kind of ride... again.

0Amazon Instant Video

Amazon.com: Turistas (Unrated): Josh Duhamel, Melissa George, Olivia Wilde, Desmond Askew: Amazon Instant Video

3.99

2/4

0negative

Is this horror, or just really bad reality tv?

Pretty lame excuse for a movie here. The acting is atrocious, the film is dark and murky so often that you don't know--or care--what is going on half the time. What happened to better lighting? I don't see what the big deal is making these types of "torture wanna be horror" movies. What happened to actually trying to scare people instead of making them want to vomit while watching? I admittedly haven't seen the other films of this type--Saw, Hostel, etc--but if they are anything like this movie, I don't want to.A group of kids arrive in Brazil planning a get away. When the bus they are traveling plunges off a cliff (man, I hate when that happens...) they find themselves stuck in Brazil for some time. They meet some people and decide to stay with some of the locals. They drink themselves silly, and decide that Brazil is better than sliced bread. Little do they know that the drinks are spiked with a little more than vodka. After their raging first night, they wake up to realize they've been drugged and that their possessions are gone. One piece of advice: beware the organ doctors here; they are a rough group, especially Zamora. It gets worse. From here, it is a struggle to find out how to get home, and where they are going, and what is going on. Will they escape the madman doctor? One only knows....The movie tends to drag on and on with each endless and seemingly absurd scene. It seems to be a movie that wants to scream out: "Hey, look at these hot people on this island with a mad doctor! Kind of cool, crazy and scary all at the same time, huh!" Too much fluff, not enough substance. This is a bare bones effort to make a scary movie, but it turns out being a grotesque reality show or something with really beautiful actors and actresses.Do yourself a favor, and go rent a real scary movie instead.

0Amazon Instant Video

Amazon.com: Turistas (Unrated): Josh Duhamel, Melissa George, Olivia Wilde, Desmond Askew: Amazon Instant Video

3.99

2/4

0negative

Hostel is better, but not by much.

i'll make my review short on this movie. it took 59 minutes to get to the "good stuff" and there wasn't much at that. you've seen all this before. no shock value here.

0Amazon Instant Video

Amazon.com: Turistas (Unrated): Josh Duhamel, Melissa George, Olivia Wilde, Desmond Askew: Amazon Instant Video

3.99

2/4

0negative

Great in theory....horrible in execution

They had a great idea with this film (despite clearly borrowing the concept from "Hostel")...a group of stranded tourists in Brazil are drugged and robbed and left with no alternative but to follow a "friend" into the jungle, ostensibly to have their organs sold on the black market, unbeknownst to them.What failed was just about everything from the horrible acting, to the gratuitous bikini-clad "Hostel" wanna-bees, to the implausibility of their situation and the fact that a horror film should actually be scary. Unfortunately, what could have been an interesting and scary film was just plain dumb!I would NOT recommend renting this movie (or even watching it for free once it comes to Cable), let alone paying money for it. If you like the idea behind the film, "Hostel" is a much better take on the could-it-really-happen-to-me-as-a-traveler-in-a-foreign-country horror film.

0Amazon Instant Video

Amazon.com: Turistas (Unrated): Josh Duhamel, Melissa George, Olivia Wilde, Desmond Askew: Amazon Instant Video

3.99

1/2

0negative

Turistas? More like Chorizos.

In "Turistas," a group of backpacking tourists (American and otherwise) meet on a bus barreling over Brazilian mountains. When their bus is totaled in an accident, this new group of friends decides to hang out on the beach and party instead of trying to find their way back to a city. Big mistake. They end up in the Brazilian jungle and entangled in an overly complicated yet ultimately simplistic plot involving bandits and other nefarious types.As others have mentioned, "Turistas" comes across as a rip-off of "Hostel." Apparently these two movies were made at about the same time, so it's a bit unfair to dismiss "Turistas" thusly. However, the rather mediocre "Hostel" at least had some interesting twists and chases - can't say the same thing for "Turistas." Unfortunately, every move in this movie is blatantly telegraphed ahead of time, so there are no surprises. The gore factor is about all "Turistas" has going for it, and even that is brief and so poorly shot as to be inconsequential. Josh Duhamel ("Las Vegas") tries his best to be a likeable protagonist, but he's given little to do except appear "protective." The lovely Melissa George comes off better, as a Portuguese speaking Australian adventuress. Hmmm.....wonder whether they'll survive. Yawn.

0Amazon Instant Video

Amazon.com: Turistas (Unrated): Josh Duhamel, Melissa George, Olivia Wilde, Desmond Askew: Amazon Instant Video

3.99

1/2

0negative

ouch my heart, liver and other body parts hurt

This is a bad bad movie. It doesn't even make sense. For one thing, after the bus flips over a mountain in the beginning of the film and all the passengers barely escape, they stand around watching the bus roll off the cliff. Five minutes later they seem to forget that incident took place. Now I don't know about you, but if that happened to me, I'd be spending the rest of my day (and life) feeling extremely fortunate I escaped from the bus in time.After that scene is over, the next 30 minutes of film is a waste of time. It's nothing but a big party scene on a beach where a bunch of young adults are standing around talking and playing typical beach games. No effort at all was involved to bring any kind of tension to this supposed "horror" movie. It was just one big party scene.After a while, a crazy guy decides he wants to cut open the bodies of the people he trapped and tied up, and steal their organs while they are awake. Okay, that's pretty uncomfortable, but it wasn't enough to save the movie, because these scary moments only happen a couple times. The action scenes at the end involving the people trying to run away from the guy and his friends WOULD have been cool had it not taken place at night, when we can't see what's going on. Yeah, lots of action is taking place, but it was too dark to see. You were basically staring at a dark screen guessing who was getting attacked. I was actually wrong at first when I thought the main bad guy was being killed off, only for a lookalike to appear a few moments later. Obviously it wasn't the same guy.The underwater swimming moments were horrible as well. Couldn't see anything. The joke at the end about choosing either a bus or airplane to travel was out of place and unnecessary. Bad movie.

0Amazon Instant Video

Amazon.com: Turistas (Unrated): Josh Duhamel, Melissa George, Olivia Wilde, Desmond Askew: Amazon Instant Video

3.99

1/2

0negative

A cheap knockoff of Hostel

I looked forward to this film, but it left me pretty cold. Sure the operation scene was gruesome, but certainly not worth the wait. In fact there were parts of this movie where I was downright bored. I won't go into the plot, we all know what it is.For those who enjoy lengthy underwater swimming scenes, this is right up your alley. It seemed that the film prided itself on the underwater scenes above anything else.The problem with this film is that it is about as subtle as a sledgehammer. You know what is going to happen from the opening scene. You know who's in on it and what is going to happen. It's nothing like the first Hostel with the shocking ending, you know something is up as soon as the senorita behind the bar starts making phone calls. You knew something bad was going to happen the next morning after all the drinking on the beach.And what's up with just one medical victim?? It was almost disappointing to see the doctor only work on one patient. But I guess we do get some gunshot victims, a large toothpick to the eye, and a stabbing in the cage. And it was nice to see the doctor get his instead of letting him live and having Turistas II unleashed on us next year.And I do not care how they do it in London, No one is going to fix my skull with a staple gun.

0Amazon Instant Video

Amazon.com: Turistas (Unrated): Josh Duhamel, Melissa George, Olivia Wilde, Desmond Askew: Amazon Instant Video

3.99

1/2

0negative

0 STARS: Reverse exploitation anyone?? How about some insipidly stupid characters then?? :)

As "Turistas" began, I was sucked into the idea that this might actually be a good movie. However, my opinion changed rapidly after the first 30-45 minutes. Supposedly, taking place in Brazil, the scenery is quite interesting and appears to provide a suitable setting for a horror movie, but, as I said, that is not the case."Turistas" is about a young woman and her brother (probably in their mid 20s) who are determined to check out Brazil. Well, as we know from "Hostel", it's not always a good idea to go willnillying all over the world without knowing what you might get into. After all, the hunters might become the hunted...at least, this principle seems to apply likewise to "Turistas" as it did "Hostel" although not really in the same sense.Indeed, "Turistas" attempts to be a little bit political in a sense and teaches how exploitation is wrong, and that there are many of those who are still very upset about this, so upset that they would like to confiscate a few things from tourists if you know what I mean, and I'm not talking about a rolex (well, maybe that too, but there is something more that meets the eye in this mess). To say anymore about the plot would be to give this magnificent piece feces away, not to mention give away its political message to all of us tourists!!! Don't you know that Brazil really loves this kind of movie to get out in the States! LOL.At any rate, the movie fails to provide the audience with any sense of fear or horror. If horror can be elicited at all, it can only be from what our so-called villains have done to tourists of the past and what they are willing to do, but there's a method and philosophy to their madness, isn't it? I must admit that I do find this movie laughable, but it's just another one of those lessons to all of us to not be in the wrong place at the wrong time and to be careful what and where we drink.In all seriousness (although I must admit I do find my sarcasm appropriate and funny for this review-probably won't be a very popular review but that won't be a first-what the hay?), "Turistas" doesn't work because it lacks atmosphere and is completely unconvincing. These faults are due to the poor acting and execution on the set. I did not find the killer (if you want to call him that) convincing whatsoever, and I did not find the movie scary, horrifying or interesting in the slightest.Perhaps, if anything positive could be said about this movie, there is a realistic feel to the movie, but the problem with the movie is that you don't care about the idiot characters involved. I mean, how stupid can you get?? Morever, these characters are not likeable and most people fail to be able to relate to and sympathize with them. The result is an uncompelling or unmoving movie. Finally, the creators of this film fail to produce any kind of horrifying atmosphere from which fear can be derived. The only identifiable emotion that I felt for these people was disgust for their stupidity.

0Amazon Instant Video

Amazon.com: Turistas (Unrated): Josh Duhamel, Melissa George, Olivia Wilde, Desmond Askew: Amazon Instant Video

3.99

2/2

0negative

It's not a horror movie--not sure what it is

A group of young travelers are on a rickety old bus in Brazil. The bus driver takes a turn too fast and everyone has to escape fast before the bus rolls down the hill. While waiting for a new bus to arrive, the travelers find a small beach that has a bar and decide to stay there and party. In the morning they find they've been drugged and all their belongings stolen. One of the natives from a nearby village that they met the night before leads them to a house in the jungle where they can stay until they figure out how to get home. It turns out the house is owned by a doctor who harvests organs from white people in some misguided revenge for his country being exploited by rich tourists.Turistas was better than I thought it would be, but I wasn't really expecting much. It takes too long to get going and you can predict what's going to happen at every turn. There are some tense moments during an underwater sequence near the end, but it's not scary. For me the scariest part was wondering what I would do if I was stranded in a foreign country with no money, no passport and couldn't speak the language. I wouldn't do what these kids did which was to trust someone who helped rob them the night before and follow him deep into the jungle. Basically Turistas is dumb people doing dumb things and the organ harvesting was a flimsy plot device to throw in some gore.

0Amazon Instant Video

Amazon.com: Turistas (Unrated): Josh Duhamel, Melissa George, Olivia Wilde, Desmond Askew: Amazon Instant Video

3.99

0/2

0negative

Stay far,far away from this garbage

This movie is so haorrible its not even funny.its very slow movie,the acting is bad,all of the good action takes place at the end and before you know it its all over before you got a chance to even enjoy it.if you are looking for this type of film watch any of the saw movies or the two hostel movie...all of which are better then this.trust me dont even rent this.i got it for $5.99 and felt cheated.a fair warning to all those considering this....DONT DO IT to yourself.

0Amazon Instant Video

Amazon.com: Turistas (Unrated): Josh Duhamel, Melissa George, Olivia Wilde, Desmond Askew: Amazon Instant Video

3.99

0/2

0negative

2 stars for 2 scenes

1 girl running off cliff and 1 girl still awake while being operated on (creepy).other than those scenes,its basically the son of hostel.

0Amazon Instant Video

Amazon.com: Turistas (Unrated): Josh Duhamel, Melissa George, Olivia Wilde, Desmond Askew: Amazon Instant Video

3.99

0/2

0negative

Not a great movie!

I thought it was pretty bad. Hostel was better than this crap. I mean it was ok in some parts but I didn't expect much. It's not even scary. I can't wait to watch Hostel 2 when it comes out.

0Amazon Instant Video

Amazon.com: Turistas (Unrated): Josh Duhamel, Melissa George, Olivia Wilde, Desmond Askew: Amazon Instant Video

3.99

1/4

0negative

RE: Like Hostel, But Better....

I'm responding to the guy that says this is like hostel but better. He has no idea what he's talking about. Before I continue I would like to warn any and all readers that there are possible spoilers. Also to the poster of that review...STEPHEN...please have the common sense to say spoiler alert when you're reviewing potential spoilers...*POSSIBLE SPOILER ALERT*"Personally, I thought Turistas was scarier and sexier than Hostel, and had more likable protagonists and more interesting villains"^Uh, if you think this movie is scary, that just shows that you are an amateur horror movie watcher. When was it scary in this movie? You must be already spooked out like crazy to be scared in this movie, it didn't even have any surprises in this movie! It's all straightforward and predictable. Throwing in the word sexier means you're one crooked dude. Who the heck watches a scary movie to get turned on??? How messed up is that?"Among the better movies from the recent batch of extreme/torture horror"^If you say so... 2/3rds or MORE of the movie contains no torture or any real horror. In fact there's only like a few mins of ONE person getting tortured. How the heck can you say it's a better of anything?? Seriously, and 24 people agreed with him and only 1 or 2 disagree? Just goes to show you that 90-95% of the population knows squat about anything. Remember, it's not an insult if it is true. Hostel, even though not much of a good movie either, contains multiple torture scenes which by the way has the victims screaming and pleading for their lives unlike this movie in the most part, this movie contains a short few min single torture and she was sedated!! There was no screaming!""Turistas" also brings up the level of its bad guys a bit more than a number of similar movies have done. The ringleader of the group, while certainly not rising to the level of a character like Jigsaw, is well-crafted and believable, a highly intelligent but unflichingly sadistic mastermind"^Uh, what are you talking about? Most movies show at least this much. Hostel for one reveals an organization that sells people out, in the movie's case, to be tortured by the potential buyer who sometimes buy based on the victim/subject's global origins/residence. I have no clue how you included jigsaw and well-crafted into an obviously plain out lacking movie like this. The only thing the movie revealed was that he was a doctor and towards the end reveals that he wants their organs to sell for a lot of money. And 24 or so people agreed to this review? We should scan these people..."With the movie developing into some intense battles, it's in ways like an action movie that's presented as a horror movie"^Uh no it's just a horror movie with action....it's not an action movie that is presented as a horror movie. You see, your misinterpretation of the movie is further proof why this horror movie failed, there wasn't enough horror to the point where you mistakenly thought it was an action type movie instead. Intense battles? You're joking right? You must be watching some Rambo on the side or something or flipping multiple channels while watching this. Intense battles...hahaha cracked me up. There was action but there was nothing intense or original about it. It was entertaining somewhat, I give it that, but intense....man...whatever you had give me some of that.TO EVERYONE:This movie is really a lame and disappointing movie in the fact that more than 2/3rds (movie is about an hour and a half and an hour or more of the movie) contains no gore or real horror. It's just the typical bunch of college students acting reckless like countless other movies. Then they're led to a house and there's like a few very short moments where the doctor sedates a young lady and takes out a few organs. Since she's sedated there's no agony to be had, she just looks on in a daze like consciousness. Then there is the escape and a few didn't make it. But seriously, no real torture and the movie builds up all this stuff to have a silly, weak, and very unsatisfying ending. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. The plus side however is that it is watchable and entertaining until the hour mark passes because you were actually expecting something.You will only view this movie to be really horrific is if you're totally not use to these kinds of movies altogether like our little STEPHEN friend there and the 24 people that agreed to his obviously .............. review. The guy knows nothing about what he's talking about, period. Want something to cringe at? Check out snuff films and documentaries. Now THAT is something horrific, this is laughable.

0Amazon Instant Video

Amazon.com: Turistas (Unrated): Josh Duhamel, Melissa George, Olivia Wilde, Desmond Askew: Amazon Instant Video

3.99

9/18

0negative

Turistas: STAY Home

Don't see Turistas if you think your gonna see some great horror flick: instead STAY HOME...This was not a horror film. It was not scarey nor gorey at all. Like many horror or occult films that were over hyped yet totally, well, SUCKED! (1. Hostel=why a sequel? Put this moronic film to bed 2. Covenant=it was like watching a boy band in a VERY bad "Spookey" movie) Turistas is definateley the 3rd part to the trilogy of horror movies that totally sucked in 2006.Only one person gets buthered (well, their liver and kidneys are removed=that's it! The only scene you could consider to be gorey=and it's used twice in the film, as the movie opener and is reprised later in the story. The others that are the victims either fall to their death, get shot or are hacked down with a machette=and don't show it!)And their are some long, dull scenes of poeple just swimming and swimming underwater for way long amounts of time that are unhumanly possible.Here's the whole movie in a nutshell: tourist are on a bus in Brazil, it crashes, the american, australian, british and danish tourists get aquianted after the crash, find a beach, drink, get high, dance,one guy sleeps with a girl (only to find out she's a prostitute!), get drugged, robbed and fall victim to poeple who want to cut them open to get their organs. ONE person gets their organs removed, others get shot trying to escape, others get away by these goons all in on this organ thing turn on each other and kill each other. Three of the victims survive and off on a plane home they go. the end. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.How the heck does hollywood get these poor writers? if they were in college and turned in garbage like this, it would certainly be considered D material.I was disappointed that this film was featured in Fangoria and now question their authority on horror flicks.Want gore? save your $$$$ till XMas and see Black Christmas=This one may save the wave of horror flicks that came out in 2006..Best horror flicks that came out this year? SAW III, Texas Chainsaw Beginnings, Final Destination 3, Slither and Stay Alive

0Amazon Instant Video

Amazon.com: Turistas (Unrated): Josh Duhamel, Melissa George, Olivia Wilde, Desmond Askew: Amazon Instant Video

3.99

0/3

0negative

It's like watching the show LOST!

Is it just me or did I feel like I was watching a missing episode of the show Lost? Just kiddin but anyways I thought it was a lil like the show Lost a bit but this movie was horrible. Do not watch it!

0Amazon Instant Video

Amazon.com: Turistas (Unrated): Josh Duhamel, Melissa George, Olivia Wilde, Desmond Askew: Amazon Instant Video

3.99

2/4

0negative

TURISTAS- Leave Home Without It

Those of you who are curious about Turistas won't miss anything earth shattering if you pass it by. As other reviewers have correctly pointed out, this movie is another lame attempt at extreme horror in the recent subgenre of torture films, a la SAW, HOSTEL, etc. However, Turistas is really bad, and is simply a movie where the violence and gore exist for the sake of the movie. Without these elements, you have no movie. Unlike decent horror films that actually stand on their own without gratuitous blood and guts (but include them for extra effect), Turistas is boring and filled with more holes than swiss cheese.Every scene of blood and gore is unnecessary; when a girl falls off a cliff, do we need to see her splat on the ground to know she died in the fall? When a guy gets his head split open, do we need to constantly see his gaping head wound? And when some dude staples it shut with a staple gun, do we need to see this done in loving detail? To demonstrate how evil the Brazilian surgeon is, did he really have to plunge a skewer through the eye of his henchman and stir it around until he died? (All done at an outdoor cafe, and no one bats an eye)Perhaps most gratuitous and outrageous is the surgery scene where the evil doctor cuts open and extracts the internal organs from a female victim while she is still alive, then plops them on her chest. While the special effects are very good and realistic, did we REALLY have to see all of this in exacting detail to get the idea that this poor girl is having her organs removed without her consent, and is then thrown away like a sack of garbage?My favorite useless and idiotic scenes are when the stranded tourists agree to follow an english speaking Brazilian through miles of jungle only to reach a picturesque waterfall and pool...and go swimming. These are the same people who have had their tour bus go over a cliff, have recently been drugged and robbed of all their possessions, and are desperate, supposedly, to find the police and a way to get back to civilization. Yep, if I were them, in their situation, I would stray from the main roads, hike deep into unchartered jungle with a guy I don't even know, and go swimming. Brilliant.Second in my favorite idiotic plot sequences is the chase at the end through the underwater caves. Now put yourself into the shoes of the bad guys: you're kidnapping Western tourists and illegally removing their organs, killing them at the same time. Four of them escape from your clutches and run into the jungle. Okay, I might chase them a while, but once they start swimming around in underwater caves, what are the chances you're going to be able to recapture them? If they escape, do you really think they'll be able to find your secret liar again if they alert the authorities? Why not let them go and find new victims? Isn't following them into the underwater caves a bit foolhardy? Is it worth the effort?As a brilliant villian, I know how you would answer these questions. Seeing how almost everyone in this movie is pretty stupid, you can guess what happens when the bad guys enter the caves.As you can probably guess, Turistas is only a gore for the sake of gore movie. If all you want to do is watch a few scenes of excessive violence and grue, then please rent or buy Turistas. You can either fast forward the rest of the turgid movie or suffer through it, like I did. You've been warned.

0Amazon Instant Video

Amazon.com: Turistas (Unrated): Josh Duhamel, Melissa George, Olivia Wilde, Desmond Askew: Amazon Instant Video

3.99

0/1

0negative

Humbug!

This may not be the films fault, but I did not like it. Not my sort of thing, so I probably never should have bought it in the first place.

0Amazon Instant Video

Amazon.com: Turistas (Unrated): Josh Duhamel, Melissa George, Olivia Wilde, Desmond Askew: Amazon Instant Video

3.99

0/1

0negative

Just Another Lame Exercise

Remember when horror movies, I mean cheap, drive-in knock-offs, used to be fun?I don't know where they went to shoot this one. It's supposed to be Brazil. Maybe it is. They usually go to Canada for dreck like this. Or Romania.This is a professional-enough looking film. Nice photography, especially in the underwater cave sequences.But it's just so...the usual. Slasher/Torture Porn. And not a lot of that, really. The bloodthirsty generation of psychos who eat this kind of sadism up will be disappointed. The kind of gore they crave is pretty much limited to one scene. And that scene provides the only real nudity too (except for a couple of flashes during the beach scenes), so that part of the audience--the kind that used to like these movies for its cheap thrills and titillations--will be put off that the only real exposed beauty is having her organs removed while she's revealed. I know that's Joe Bob Briggs bottom line reviewing...but what else is there?Characters aren't that interesting. Moments of uniqueness are quickly discarded for the torture porn formula.Eh.

0Amazon Instant Video

Amazon.com: Turistas (Unrated): Josh Duhamel, Melissa George, Olivia Wilde, Desmond Askew: Amazon Instant Video

3.99

0/1

0negative

Just Awful

Horrible acting, worse plot...the only thing it has going for it is some good looking ladies, but even they can't make the film worth watching. Save 2 hours of your life and avoid this movie.

0Amazon Instant Video

Amazon.com: Turistas (Unrated): Josh Duhamel, Melissa George, Olivia Wilde, Desmond Askew: Amazon Instant Video

3.99

0/1

0negative

Even the new low in human vivisection can't redeem this film

Filmmakers have tried to touch rock bottom in horror and disgust in the last few years, each one vying to be the most original and shocking. Just when Hostel made you think you couldn't go any lower, along comes Turistas. I know what vivisection is but never saw it portrayed on film before. It was admittedly shocking, and well-done (within a very narrow definition of that term). We even get the treat of listening to the evil doctor expounding a Marxist analysis of core and periphery states while pulling the vital organs out of the gasping, pleading victim.But a good horror movie is more than one scene, or even a couple of other adequate ones. Overall, the movie just doesn't cut it. You've got the problems other reviewers have noted, such as the one-dimensional characters, and the script problem of "We were drugged and robbed last night, and left without money or ID. After walking for hours though the jungle, being led by someone we don't know, why don't we stop and go swimming at a waterfall!" I also note that a philanthropic doctor who cuts out vital organs to help the poor is not the kind of person who would stab a person in the eye with a palito de churrasquinho.Also, I think I just don't have patience for these types of movies anymore. They're so formulaic: a group of adolescents goes to a remote location, where they get picked off one by one until the ending counter-attack. Throw in some nice naked female flesh to keep the interest up. Been there, done that.These movies also take too long to get going. Maybe if it's your first horror movie, the windup is worth something. But after your first horror movie, the delivery takes precedence.

0Amazon Instant Video

Amazon.com: Turistas (Unrated): Josh Duhamel, Melissa George, Olivia Wilde, Desmond Askew: Amazon Instant Video

3.99

1/6

0negative

It's like watching the show LOST!

Is it just me or did I feel like I was watching a missing episode of the show Lost? Just kiddin but anyways I thought it was a lil like the show Lost a bit but this movie was horrible. Do not watch it!

0Amazon Instant Video

Amazon.com: Turistas (Unrated): Josh Duhamel, Melissa George, Olivia Wilde, Desmond Askew: Amazon Instant Video

3.99

4/12

0negative

getting tired of the cliche

Just another one of those movies. A bunch of young kids travelling somewhere and get cut up into pieces because some psycho wants their organs. Neither scary nor educational(Tommy, you are taking Anatomy 101, and believe me, this movie doesn't help you pass that class!). Many scenes are too dark to tell what happened. Hear someone scream and some light streakes across the screen, and the next thing you know, someone has dropped. It is okay to see it for free, but not worth it when you pay for the ticket.

0Amazon Instant Video

Amazon.com: Turistas (Unrated): Josh Duhamel, Melissa George, Olivia Wilde, Desmond Askew: Amazon Instant Video

3.99

0/5

0negative

It's like watching the show LOST!

Is it just me or did I feel like I was watching a missing episode of the show Lost? Just kiddin but anyways I thought it was a lil like the show Lost a bit but this movie was horrible. Do not watch it!

0Amazon Instant Video

Amazon.com: Turistas (Unrated): Josh Duhamel, Melissa George, Olivia Wilde, Desmond Askew: Amazon Instant Video

3.99

0/11

0negative

shameful ripoff

even in the hour plus ''build-up/charactor developement''.i guess talky,anti american ''horror'' movies is the latest trend.i was watching the talky trailer on my computer and got sleepy.

0Amazon Instant Video

Amazon.com: Turistas (Unrated): Josh Duhamel, Melissa George, Olivia Wilde, Desmond Askew: Amazon Instant Video

3.99

8/14

0negative

Lame and generic

The torture-horror film is all the rage these days. We've got the Saw and Hostel franchises, along with countless knock-offs to boot. Director John Stockwell knows a thing or two about filming by the beach and ocean considering he's helmed previous films like Into the Blue and Blue Crush. That's why the filming by said area looks so good, but that's about the only positive thing going for Turistas (funny how the torture-horror genre and said director make strange bedfellows huh?). Josh Duhamel (soon to be seen in the live action Transformers movie) is among the group of unbelievably good looking young people who want to do nothing more than drink heavily and party in Brazil. Little do they know that there are organ harvesters lurking around waiting for them to pass out, and they know nor care nothing for little things like anesthetics or legalities. Turistas starts out as being incredibly boring before any substancial events happen, and after they do (such as when a few members of the party disappear, along with everyone's wallets, ID's, etc.) even more non-sensical events take place. The acting is horrid, there are plot holes aplenty, and the gruesome acts themselves don't come off as anything really shocking or anything even remotely scary. And by the time Turistas reaches it's climax, we just wonder what was the point of a horror film that's not even remotely scary. We've seen this before, and we've seen this done much, much better. Not even worth seeing for hardcore horror buffs.

0Amazon Instant Video

Amazon.com: Turistas (Unrated): Josh Duhamel, Melissa George, Olivia Wilde, Desmond Askew: Amazon Instant Video

3.99

3/6

0negative

suckfest

if you gave this movie more than 1 star you are high. no plot , bad acting, and too gruesome for theaters...NOT!!.the movie goes on for an hour before anything happens and then its' just downhill from there.not gorry just boring...

0Amazon Instant Video

Amazon.com: Turistas (Unrated): Josh Duhamel, Melissa George, Olivia Wilde, Desmond Askew: Amazon Instant Video

3.99

3/6

0negative

Not really that good in my opinion, but still.

This could have been a good film. The concept of a sinister network of body farmers capturing and using backroads tourists has a lot of consideration to it. The idea of paradise lost, the idea of Americans finding themselves way over their head, not a new concept, but still, could have worked here. I think we've all heard the many urban legends about tourists living and dying in South America. Makes you definitely want to stick to the Frommer's guides! But for me it did not work well at all as I watched this film. Mind you, I watched this film then I balanced it with Hostel. I'll explain why. First off, yes we know that if not for Hostel, who would be considering this movie. The problem is that Hostel, and I'm not the biggest fan of the movie but I do give a nod of respect toward it, had characters that developed and had characters you could relate to. The characters in Hostel were cliche, yes, but at least you knew you could comprehend them and you were chilled by all that happened to the main characters...one by one. This movie I think tried too hard to be like Hostel, which I'm willing to bet the second Hostel film couldn't be like the first one. Second off, the "torture" movie genre that is being played for all its worth...i.e. Saw I through a billion, Wolfs Creek, Hostel...is either a hit or miss. You are either enraptured by the suspense and the pay off for the suspense, or you are downright bored. For Turistas, you are truly (and this is my opinion) bored because you (going back to the first point) can't really care about the characters. The characters are almost idiots as they go in a zombieque mannerism from one scene to the next. All you can do is sit back and watch the screen and say to yourself "It is only ninety minutes...it is only ninety minutes..." but man, how 90 minutes can drag out for an eternity. Cardboard has more texture then the characters of Turistas. And when the "horror" (really isn't that bad, I've seen worse on Court TV) happens, all you can do is shrug and fight off the horrific temptation of using the fast forward button. And mind you, that's the same reason that out of the entire genre of "torture" movies, I've only been able to respect Hostel. Again, it isn't my favorite film, but at least it gives the "torture" horror movie audience what they want...a growing development and then a horrific pay off. Turistas really doesn't have that. We see one operation scene. That's it. We see a lot of dark chases. Gun shots. That's it. There is no tightness of horror. There's only time wasted. That's my take on it. Do with it as you wish. I would, at the very most, say this was a renter and not a buyer kind of movie.

0Amazon Instant Video

Amazon.com: Turistas (Unrated): Josh Duhamel, Melissa George, Olivia Wilde, Desmond Askew: Amazon Instant Video

3.99

1/3

0negative

Um....Hostel anyone?

This movie had basically the same storyline as Hostel, except more gore, possibly a tribute to the lines of Cannibal holocaust and such. I'm not a gore fan, but I enjoyed hostel. This movie was a complete ripoff of that one, and with no suspense or scares. This was just anotyher generic exploitation flick. The characters were 2 dimensional, only exisiting to be slaughtered, and let out the occasional yell, the story was trite, and the villain not believable. I'm sorry I wasted my time.

0Amazon Instant Video

Amazon.com: Turistas (Unrated): Josh Duhamel, Melissa George, Olivia Wilde, Desmond Askew: Amazon Instant Video

3.99

2/5

0negative

horrible

this movie was just plain bad. bad story. bad "gore". bad everything. don't waste your money or your time watching this.

0Amazon Instant Video

Amazon.com: Turistas (Unrated): Josh Duhamel, Melissa George, Olivia Wilde, Desmond Askew: Amazon Instant Video

3.99

2/5

0negative

Trashstas!!!!!!!

For reasons I'll never understand, someone at work gave me this "movie" to watch because they said I would like it. WRONG,WRONG,WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is is just one long and sick snuff film of the lowest order. Many will like it but it really worries me that this disturbing thing is listed as Entertainment. Igrew up with slasher movies and they were call all kind of things in there time, but this one is truly just sick.

0Amazon Instant Video

Amazon.com: Turistas (Unrated): Josh Duhamel, Melissa George, Olivia Wilde, Desmond Askew: Amazon Instant Video

3.99

0/0

0negative

You Can't Beat the Scenery, For a While

I will attempt to make this short, while hopefully covering some important points which will help you to consider this film for its merits as well as its flaws. Firstly. An initial caveat to all you raconteurs with high expectations. That is, do not--I say do not go in to see this movie thinking you are going to get a cinematic product on the level of an Alfred Hitchcock or Stanley Kubrick film. Yeah, don't think that. But I do not think that I am stretching things in saying that you will enjoy a fine time of it for about an hour. I say an hour because you will have to switch off for a good five minutes or so after that because the dissection scene is simply too grotesque and sadistic to endure, at least by my standards. Then you can turn back--but getting back on point, we are not giving this film its proper due. There are some out there who will say the movie did not deliver the goods, when in one sense, it is absolutely undeniable, an immutable fact, that the movie delivers "the goods" in force. The cinematographer, obviously a man, is here to help--he brings the camera to bear on one of the most ludicrously sensual and sexy casts in recent memory, this side of "Baywatch". That noteworthy program assembled a Hall of Fame gallery of hotness to which we still pay homage, but the assembled lineup of Beau Garrett, Melissa George, Olivia Wilde, and the two Brazilian chicks at the bar, all in their swimwear, can honestly can suit up and play in the same game with, while obviously not surpassing, the legendary beauties launched to eternal greatness by the Hoff.Point #2. If one is a horror fan, at the hour mark is good news--the miserable depressing plot about the crazy looney tune doctor and the organ transplant clinic take over the scenery, and the movie. If one is not, well one is in for a bit of a disappointment. Because a solid 50 minutes of character interaction, partying, and beautiful people in beautiful scenery fools us--we think then "Turistas" is about the tourists. When in fact it is not. "Turistas" is really about shock, about horror, about throttling the viewer with tension. The more one reflects it becomes fairly straightforward that the movie was really interested above everything else in becoming a worthy successor or perhaps heir apparent to "Hostel", the champion of the genre of the new supergross-out horror film. With reference to that film, "Turistas" is considerably more sparing with the gore, and that restraint is not a little of the basis of why it is in my opinion actually superior to "Hostel." That being said, the disappointment for me is still intact--the film had a set of characters from which to work with, and more of a story might have been crafted involving people in a terrible situation, but the carnage and chase scenes become whirlwind and frenetic, fast and furious and one loses track of who is dying, and who has died--the film should have cared enough about the characters to give us some more refined portraits, which would have made us care about who suffered the effects of its gratuitous violence. Otherwise the film is simply about the violence--and here it had at least the raw materials to do much better.At any rate, perhaps I have been too harsh. There are actually some very effective chase sequences involving underground lagoons and caverns which keep the tension at a quite high pitch. One cannot help inwardly at least taking note of the remarkable athleticism of these young actresses and Josh Duhamel, all of whom are able to swim and negotiate tight passages underwater with great agility. It actually seems that the film requires their physical fitness and skill to be on a par with or even exceeding their dramatic skill. The tension is maintained at an unnerving level for a considerable length of time in this film, from the moment the demented doctor enters the compound among the confused and demoralized tourists. The denouement is a bit strange and anticlimactic, with a twist of fate one would not expect--but it could have been, for its sense of surprise, far more satisfying. But give it its due--the movie is one wallop of a rollercoaster ride. If I have to be faultfinding there are two aspects, maybe three I would address. The first is that the film should have attempted to add some depth and heft to the relationship between the characters. Since the actresses are deliriously beautiful for the most part and the actors reasonably charismatic/amusing, we would have appreciated some more meaningful interaction between them, to see some genuine relationships, romances or friendships form. The second is that the prostitution of gore in the pivotal scene with the doctor and Beau Garrett was an abject crime of gratuity that was simply unwarranted and, in all probability, a submissive bent knee to the climate of supergratuitous horror-porn which has become so nouveau-popular and almost chic as of late. Some sort of background context concerning the villain might have helped as well; his persona, his past, his motives are all enshrouded in a sort of vagueness that assumes we already know what in fact we don't. As a result, whereas he might have been presented bit by bit as an intriguing and interesting villain, he simply comes off vile and repugnant. In hindsight this film deserves a three star rating, though I prematurely gave it two. It rightly merits one and a half stars merely for filming a cast of blinding hotness in all the tropical splendor that is Brazil; had Beau Garrett survived, I might have been even more generous.

0Amazon Instant Video

Amazon.com: Turistas (Unrated): Josh Duhamel, Melissa George, Olivia Wilde, Desmond Askew: Amazon Instant Video

3.99

0/0

0negative

Low Budget

Some good action and scenery, but otherwise pretty low budget movie. Only recommended for die-hard horror fans.

0Amazon Instant Video

Amazon.com: Turistas (Unrated): Josh Duhamel, Melissa George, Olivia Wilde, Desmond Askew: Amazon Instant Video

3.99

0/0

0negative

Um...NO.

Ok I hate to burst anyone's bubble about this movie...but it says on the cover "A better and scarier movie than Hostel". Um...NO. I actually enjoyed it up to the point where they got into the house and it got dark. From that point on the movie took place in nothing but darkness and you could not tell what was happeneing or who was who. So so annoying. This movie pissed me off. Don't waste your money. Thank god I only paid a few bucks for it. A complete waste of time. Eww.

0Amazon Instant Video

Amazon.com: Turistas (Unrated): Josh Duhamel, Melissa George, Olivia Wilde, Desmond Askew: Amazon Instant Video

3.99

48/63

0negative

Paradise Lost

I'm sure that "Turistas" started out as a good idea, and it must have remained so at the start of the screenplay development process. Even in the final filmed version, parts of this good idea remained; it involves an isolated group of organ harvesters living in the deep jungles of Brazil. They obtain everything from unwitting tourists that wander into a phony beach/bar getaway. The notion that someone would remove your vital organs against your will is genuinely scary, and I have no doubt that such people actually exist, hidden away within the nooks and crannies of the earth. It's a very uncomfortable thought, and I give the film credit for making me second-guess any plans to visit Brazil.But this film is loaded with problems, enough to outweigh the effectiveness of the underlying idea. "Turistas" is misguided practically from the start, missing the mark as both a horror film and a social commentary. The first hour does nothing but continuously build tension, which I suppose can be effective when constructed properly (consider Ridely Scott's "Alien"). But by the time we actually get to the scarier moments of the remaining thirty minutes--moments highlighted by medical cruelty and violence--we come to the realization that there's hardly anything to have gotten tense about. I say this from a horror fan's point of view; if a story is meant to be scary, then it should remain consistently scary almost all throughout. Saving the shocking moments for the end simply does not work.And then there are the turistas--or tourists in the native English. They're represented as a ragtag group of well-toned twenty-somethings from all walks of life. No matter how hard I tried to understand them, no matter how open-minded I made myself to their situations, I never once believed them to be genuine. They felt about as realistic and complex as clones from a cheaply produced 1990s teen slasher film (all of which were clones to begin with, I might add). The most important characters are the brother and sister duo of Alex (Josh Duhamel) and Bea (Olivia Wilde). Alex is inexplicably and unrealistically overprotective of Bea: she couldn't go to Brazil unless he went with her; she shouldn't put ice in her drinks because there's the risk of dysentery; she shouldn't have chosen a bus as a mode of transportation because their going through the mountains and the driver seems a bit reckless.But as it turns out, the bus driver actually is reckless; in attempting to avoid hitting a group of people crossing the road, the bus violently swerves off the edge. Luckily, everyone manages to get out before the bus loses its balance and falls down a two hundred foot incline. Still, everything is ruined. With nothing left to wait around for, Alex, Bea, and a small group of people decide to try and find help. In their searching, they find a seemingly remote yet beautiful beach area, complete with a well-stocked bar and attractive girls (this is especially enticing for a pair of loud mouthed Londoners). For a few hours, everyone has a good time; they swim, they play volleyball, and they dance the night away to the sound of throbbing Brazilian dance music. And they drink. A lot.What they don't yet realize is that every single drink from that little bar has been spiked with a powerful drug. Almost immediately, everyone passes out directly on the shoreline. When they wake up, they discover that they've been robbed, and worse yet, some of the other tourists are missing. Here is where the obligatory nightmare begins, most of which I found difficult to accept as plausible. For one thing, the only "reliable" source of help is Kiko (Agles Steib), a native Brazilian who speaks broken English. It's immediately obvious that in real life, no one, not even those in a desperate situation, would follow his lead. However, dimwitted characters in a substandard film certainly would. He first leads the group to a dilapidated village with no form of law enforcement (it's there that they see some of their missing items in the hands of the locals). No help there. Yet they keep following him, and he takes them through dense jungles and up steep mountains. He's supposedly leading them to his uncle's remote cabin; a place he claims will keep everyone safe.But before they reach their destination, they stop at a picturesque waterfall area with underground caves just waiting to be explored. Thus begins a second scene of swimming, frolicking, and happiness. I'm sorry, but I thought these characters were supposed to be frightened, desperate, and in need of help. Why in God's name are they stopping to take a dip? There's one character in particular I wish had asked that question: her name is Pru (Melissa George), an Australian who frequently travels and speaks fluent Portuguese. I initially thought she had the most common sense, even more so than Alex. Someone of such mental clarity should be able to see how foolish it would be to stop in the middle of an important journey to have fun.But I guess she's the wrong person to rely on. And like everyone else in the group, she has no idea what they're in for. They finally reach this deserted cabin, only to find it mysteriously filled with food, drugs, clothing, and medical supplies (you'd think they'd make use of them when Kiko accidentally splits his head open, but no; they use a staple gun). And then they meet Kiko's uncle, who majestically flies in by helicopter. He's a cold, cold man, and he's apparently tired of tourists draining Brazil of its resources (he shows his angry side early on by shoving a wooden skewer through his henchman's right eye). As payback, he kidnaps the tourists, drugs them, and surgically removes specific organs. This brings to light the social commentary mentioned earlier; if the nations of the world hope to earn one another's friendship, all the silly political squabbling needs to stop.Can we all agree that that's an absolutely stupid message to put in a thriller, especially one involving some gory medical shots? I certainly hope we can. I won't bother with describing the climactic dissection scene, but I think it's safe for you to assume that you'll be in for some ugly visuals. I won't even bother with describing anymore of this film, something that only amounted to underachievement. I can appreciate the thought that went into "Turistas"; I can tell that it was intended to be a horror film, and for a story of that genre, the idea definitely had potential. Unfortunately, its execution was handled badly. I left the theater feeling an unwelcome mixture of boredom, unpleasantness, and indifference. Who would actually want to watch this kind of filmmaking? No one from Brazil, that's for sure.

0Amazon Instant Video

Amazon.com: Turistas (Unrated): Josh Duhamel, Melissa George, Olivia Wilde, Desmond Askew: Amazon Instant Video

3.99

3/3

0negative

Not Too Scary, Not Too Gory, Not Too Good

Next time you find yourself stranded in Nowheresville, Brazil, "Take the plane," according to Alex (Josh Duhamel), just one of the unlucky tourists in "Turistas." The story revolves around a group of young and hard bodies of differing nationalities who get stranded when their bus takes a really bad turn and goes off of a cliff. The tourists are welcomed to a nearby small town while waiting for another bus that seems to be perfect for parties on the surface, but holds a dark secret underneath. As the tale unfolds, the group finds themselves the targets of a vengeful man hoping to cash in on their organs. Who makes it out alive? Sit through ninety tedious minutes and you'll find out.**Potential Spoilers**Featuring stock characters and stock gore, this film struggles to find its way. At one point it is a gore film, but when compared to other recent splatter flicks like "Hostel" and "Wolf Creek," it comes up short in the blood and guts department. Next we find it trying to be a suspense yarn with underwater cavern chases. Unfortunately, these chases become boring to watch and difficult to keep up with. Lastly, the movie takes a light shot at social commentary, but organ stealing is hardly a new topic, and I honestly don't think that most tourists are as dense as this gaggle of goof-offs.Now I do understand that the characters had to be somewhat dumbed down in order to move the tale along, but I found myself not really pulling for any of them. I could care less who lost their kidneys or if they were conscious when their livers were removed. We are expected to cheer on Duhamel and his on-screen sister, Bea (Olivia Wilde), but I really saw no reason to. The rest of the group serves no great purpose other than to be victims, excepting the supposed "smart" member of the party, Pru (Melissa George).The primary villain in this film, Zamora (Miguel Lunardi), comes off as an arrogant dictator who isn't as tough as you'd expect a primary villain to be. I honestly don't see how any of his lackeys could fear him. In fact, he wasn't scary at all.Light gore, dull suspense, a disjointed plot, and modest acting adds up to a clunker in my book. I'd consider "Turistas" a rental at best. If you prefer more gore (though not necessarily a better story) check out the "Hostel" flicks. For an actual good gory story, "Wolf Creek" is your best bet. For suspense in a cave, I highly recommend "The Descent."

0Amazon Instant Video

Amazon.com: I'd Give My Life: Tom Brown, Sir Guy Standing, Frances Drake, Janet Beecher: Amazon Instant Video

0.00

8/8

0negative

Not DVD Quality

I'm getting very angry at some of these companies that are releasing very poor Quality DVDs."I'd Give My Life" could have been very enjoyable if they spent a little time fixing it up. In some areas the movie goes dark and light and dark and light. It gets very annoying. There's crackle and popping sounds through out the movie.

0Amazon Instant Video

Amazon.com: Woman In the Fifth: Ethan Hawke, Kristin Scott Thomas, Pawel Pawlikowski: Amazon Instant Video

0.00

0/0

0negative

Once again, a great book chopped up like onions.

At a wimpy 85 minutes, so much is left out that unless you've read the book, a lot of what is happening probably won't make any sense.Avoid the movie, but definitely read the book by my favorite author Douglas Kennedy

0Amazon Instant Video

Amazon.com: Woman In the Fifth: Ethan Hawke, Kristin Scott Thomas, Pawel Pawlikowski: Amazon Instant Video

0.00

2/5

0negative

Huh?

I have never given a movie 1 star before but here it is. "Woman in the Fifth" offers very little in the way of plot or relevancy for that matter. The characters are flat, dull, and the dialog is less than inspiring. This movie is about nothing, literally. There is no back story of any characters, no motivation for their actions or lack there of, nothing. Just nothingness. And then it ends thankfully.

0Amazon Instant Video

Amazon.com: Woman In the Fifth: Ethan Hawke, Kristin Scott Thomas, Pawel Pawlikowski: Amazon Instant Video

0.00

0/2

0negative

Enigmatic and moody and pointless and poo

Save your money and time. This is nonsense attempting to be arty and important. I'd also forgotten how dire an actor Hawke is. Save your time? There is no explanation or direction. Honey Boo Boo has better writin.

0Amazon Instant Video

Amazon.com: Woman In the Fifth: Ethan Hawke, Kristin Scott Thomas, Pawel Pawlikowski: Amazon Instant Video

0.00

5/7

0negative

Not happy. Read the book. Much better.

Very disappointed by this movie. The book was great and so I anticipated the movie would be as well, especially after seeing who was going to star in the movie.Very disappointed. Slow moving movie - lots missing...

0Amazon Instant Video

Amazon.com: Woman In the Fifth: Ethan Hawke, Kristin Scott Thomas, Pawel Pawlikowski: Amazon Instant Video

0.00

6/9

0negative

Weird.

I admire Kristen Scott Thomas and I find Ethan Hawke to be an actor who consistently chooses interesting roles. This film received a good review from Roger Ebert, so we watched it. (On Netflix)This is the dreariest film I've seen in years. The acting is good, but the story has no real structure and becomes increasingly bewildering as the movie proceeds. Ethan Hawke seems to be existing in a parallel universe, and suffering from some sort of mental illness. He is supposedly in Paris to see his daughter, but aside from peering at her through a fence once or twice, nothing further develops. Hawke's character lives in a seamy squalid room above an equally dismal coffee shop, weird things happen that have no explanation, he is given a weird job monitoring a screen in what seems to be a bunker of sorts where strange things may or may not be occuring, Kristen Scott Thomas's character is apparently a figment of his imagination... It just gets less and less interesting and there is not a single moment of normalcy. Everyone is weird. The whole film is weird, and not in a good way.When it ended, my husband and I looked at each other, rolled our eyes, and immediatley began talking about other things. A pointless waste of an evening. A can find nothing to recommend about this film.

0Amazon Instant Video

Amazon.com: Woman In the Fifth: Ethan Hawke, Kristin Scott Thomas, Pawel Pawlikowski: Amazon Instant Video

0.00

4/6

0negative

They should have stayed in the fourth.

I was attracted to this movie by the stars. I have not read the book, but I view movies on the basis of a perceived entertainment value. Unfortunately, this one is not very entertaining, nor is it very believable, even as a so-called psychological drama. It's the first time I've ever been disappointed by Kristen Scott Thomas. Save your money.

0Amazon Instant Video

Amazon.com: Simon Says: Crispin Glover, Margo Harshman, Greg Cipes, Carrie Finklea: Amazon Instant Video

3.99

0/0

0negative

Why Cripsin? Why?

This was one of the worst movies I've seen in recent memory. I'll start off by saying that all the sped up and slo-mo effects were unnecessary and honestly annoying. The kill scenes were cheaply done CGI which looked terrible for the most part. It's a spoiler, but in the last attack scene of the movie the 'dream girl' literally bursts through a tree and a burned body to attack Simon/Stanley. My biggest problem with this movie is that I know Cripin Glover can do so much better. I'm sure he did the best with the script he was given, which wasn't much, but I'd have passed on this role. After seeing him in Rivers Edge and Willard it was almost painful to watch him play this character. I'm just glad I got this used for six bucks and not the twenty-five amazon is asking for it

0Amazon Instant Video

Amazon.com: Simon Says: Crispin Glover, Margo Harshman, Greg Cipes, Carrie Finklea: Amazon Instant Video

3.99

2/2

0negative

stinker

The premise of the movie is nothing new but the acting was horrible. The worst part being Simon's accent. I got so annoyed everytime he would open his mouth and say "You didn't say Simon says"....The rest of the characters were rather flat...the cheating boyfriend, the best friend cheating with the boyfriend, the stoner and ect. Also, all the flying axes get a little old after the first few times. What I wanted to know was how he could set them all up so quickly...?? The final showdown was odd and cheesey. All things considered it was a very lame and boring movie.

0Amazon Instant Video

Amazon.com: Simon Says: Crispin Glover, Margo Harshman, Greg Cipes, Carrie Finklea: Amazon Instant Video

3.99

1/1

0negative

Simon Says.... This movie had potentiol, but missed it's mark.

For many years it used to be the image of Jason Voorhees when you think about a maniac killer roaming the woods and slaying campers, but after seeing this movie... well.... you still will.Crispon Glover plays the worst role I have ever seen him do. The guy must be kicking himself that he screwed up by demanding more money to be in the Back To The Future sequels and is now remembered for his stupid idea he had to play a weirdo on the Letterman Show many years ago.This role must have taken real desperation to play. Now this movie could have been something, something decent that is, but two actors in this movie ruined it for everyone else. The first is an annoying stoner character who does nothing but smoke joints throughout the movie and saying stupid things. He is the type you want to see killed off as soon as possible, but they dragged him out and gave him some lame attempt at trying to make out the stoner is a kick-244 hero in waiting, who is going to save the day and seek out the woman he has a crush on, and it just ends in you rolling your eyes at the pathetic attempt they make for the audience to see there is more to him then a stoner with no future.Then there is Crispon Glover playing Simon. First off, the story behind this character doesn't pay off, there is supposed ghosts or just weirdos who wont stay in that town that give the back story of Simon and his brother, in which the scene was not needed as there is no pay off later as to what the hell it was put in for other then some stupid way to tell the backstory, but done in such a lame way that it leaves plot holes open.Then there is the accent of this character. Plain and simple, it is either the most annoying and worst accent you will ever hear because it's just that bad, or you just know Crispons voice too well that you do not accept it is his voice.The kills in the movie are not that bad, and the story itself was decent, but it is those two actors that killed the movie with there performance, that and keeping the stoner in 45 minutes too long.As I said before, it seems like Crispon is kicking himself for not doing Back To The Future 2 & 3, as he trys to recreate a little scene in this movie like that of in BTTF when he lays out Biff. The same shot of the clenching fist is recreated in this film, but I did not see it as a calling card, or tribute, or homage to that scene, as more a desperate attempt at trying to add something to gain more attention to himself.All this movie needed was the stoner cut down early, and either Crispon replaced or have him play it in a way you can stand instead of laugh at how bad it is. And it would not suprise me if Crispon thought he was being artistic or innovative to play a character that is a friggen joke and badly acted while mostly everyone else put all there effort into there roles.

0Amazon Instant Video

Amazon.com: Simon Says: Crispin Glover, Margo Harshman, Greg Cipes, Carrie Finklea: Amazon Instant Video

3.99

1/1

0negative

1.5 Stars: Simon Says Stay Away From This One!

Despite the fact that this low budget, B-movie Slasher has a "star" in it, I definitely wasn't expecting a lot from this film when I rented it. It was perhaps a little better than I had expected, but still, this movie isn't good by any means. The plot of the film isn't that bad, but the execution of the idea is. The writing is poor and the acting, though I've seen much worse, isn't great by any stretch of the imagination. Crispin Glover's performance leaves something to be desired. The character he portrays is much too over-the-top and cheesy. However, I will say that the gore is decent for a film like this. And there are some good kill scenes;one involving a dog got a big chuckle from me! Nonetheless, there's really not too many reasons that anyone should watch this film, unless your just a horror movie buff and have some time on your hands. Check this one out if you must, but I wouldn't waste my money buying it. A one-time viewing is all this movie is worth.

0Amazon Instant Video

Amazon.com: Simon Says: Crispin Glover, Margo Harshman, Greg Cipes, Carrie Finklea: Amazon Instant Video

3.99

3/4

0negative

Disappointing

I am still new to the horror movie genre, and maybe I'm a noob at this. But, seriously the movie is nowhere near good. Crispin Glover does what he does best, I can recognize his psychotic face from a mile away and still run like hell. But, the story line and the graphics quality was disappointing. The first few minutes watching the movie I thought "This is not going to go well" but then I realize the name Blake Lively on the cover and was relieved. "Thank goodness" I said, but then I sat through the whole movie only to see Blake enter 5 minutes in the end saying a few lines, looking hot as usual, and capiche. End of movie.

0Amazon Instant Video

Amazon.com: Simon Says: Crispin Glover, Margo Harshman, Greg Cipes, Carrie Finklea: Amazon Instant Video

3.99

2/3

0negative

Not worth it.

I like Crispin Glover and i am a huge horror and genre fan, but this movie was weak, really weak. I like movies sometimes that are bad, because they are bad in a way that is funny or even enjoyable. This was a movie that was bad and after it was over I say "I just wasted an hour and a half (or however long it was) of my life on this crap!"

0Amazon Instant Video

Amazon.com: Simon Says: Crispin Glover, Margo Harshman, Greg Cipes, Carrie Finklea: Amazon Instant Video

3.99

0/0

0negative

0 STARS: Simon says......it sucks.

Crispin Glover may be one of the most annoying actors that this world has ever seen. Don't get me wrong...I am not saying that he is one of the worst actors because he's actually pretty good, but he is one of the most annoying ever. For instance, Glover was outstanding in the "The River's Edge", but he was annoying in that movie too. Same thing here in the ill-concocted "Simon Says". With that being said, "Simon Says" is just a downright AWFUL movie with or without Crispin Glover. True, his character is ridiculous, but then again, everything is over the top about this movie, so what the hay?The sad part is that "Simon Says" actually has a decent plot. A group of friends go camping in the woods unbeknownst to them that a terrible crime was committed at some point in the past by some twins who are not mentally stable. Sound familiar? Well, for those slasher movie connoisseurs like myself, it should. Remember a really good solid slasher involving twins called "Just Before Dawn" directed by none other than Jeff Lieberman. Now, that was a really good slasher. It had atmosphere, suspense, good kill scenes and excellent plot execution, solid acting and great use of setting. "Simon Says", on the other hand, had no suspense, no atmosphere, no good kill scenes because they were too over the top, terrible plot execution, below average acting and terrible use of setting.The problem with "Simon Says" is that it is so over the top that it's ridiculous. This movie does not even attempt to be scary, and no one could possible take it seriously, and the result is some lame attempt at dark humor, but it fails there too. This movie is terrible and is an assault on the eyes and intellect. It's simply ridiculous!!! Do not waste your time on this trash because while the movie sounds good from a plot standpoint, "Simon Says" is so over the top that it simply cannot be taken seriously. No one could possibly take a leap of faith or employ the viewer's suspension of disbelief in this movie because it is so over the top that it sucks! I mean flying mining picks? Are you kidding me? "Simon Says" is garbage.

0Amazon Instant Video

Amazon.com: Simon Says: Crispin Glover, Margo Harshman, Greg Cipes, Carrie Finklea: Amazon Instant Video

3.99

0/0

0negative

truly awful.

crispin glover completely ruins this movie. had a pretty good yet uninspired plot....but still decent enough to stick with...UNTIL about half way through and you seriously cant take him anymore....this movie could of been a ton of fun but ended up truly sucking.

0Amazon Instant Video

Amazon.com: The Good Soldier: Jeremy Brett, Robin Ellis, Susan Fletwood, Vickery Turner: Amazon Instant Video

2.99

14/39

0negative

Mystifying, Bewildering

Recently, my wife and I wanted to see a decent drama. (TV really has become the "wasteland" predicted in the 1950's; moreover, we didn't know that the 2005 version of Charles Dickens' "Bleak House" would be re-run on PBS within the next few weeks. We'd missed it last year.) So, we checked our old VHS collection and found we'd taped the 13-part series, "To Serve Them All My Days," from Masterpiece Theatre in the mid-1980's. Our copies even included insightful commentary from Alistair Cooke. Remember him?At the end of "To Serve Them All My Days," Mr. Cooke said an upcoming program would be "The Good Soldier, " a 1981, BBC production. We didn't remember this one and thought it might be worth viewing, if it was anywhere near the quality of, "To Serve Them All My Days." Stars of "The Good Soldier" were said to include Jeremy Brett, of Sherlock Holmes fame, and Elizabeth Garvie, who played Elizabeth Bennett in a quite entertaining version of "Pride and Prejudice," in 1979. Robin Ellis whom we also liked in "Poldark" would play John Dowell, the vacuous American husband and narrator of "The Good Soldier."I searched the Amazon.com listings to see if "The Good Soldier" might be available on DVD. Amazingly, it was due to come out the following week. The reason I go into all this is to say we had every reason to believe that this production would be a good one, coming as it did from what we regard as the "golden age" of Masterpiece Theatre. What we got instead was disappointing.In all honesty, we did find most of the acting, scenery, costumes, and other production features of "The Good Soldier" to be fine. It was the story that let us down--if there really is a story. From what we can tell, the saga takes place in the 9-year period before World War I, 1904-1913. It's possible, the author, Ford Madox Ford (who had changed his last name from the very German, Hueffer) wanted to return to a more pleasant era when he finished this piece in 1915. This was shortly after World War I broke out. If the author also wanted to show how decadent and purposeless things were at that time he may have succeeded there, too.As I was saying, the story takes place about 100 years ago and centers on two middle-aged couples. One is English (Edward and Leonora Ashburnham); the other, American (John and Florence Dowell). They meet at a German spa and get along so well they keep meeting there over nine ensuing summers. On the surface, they seem well-behaved, well-dressed, and friendly. But beneath the calm and elegant facade, Edward is a latter-day Casanova whom women find irresistible. He seduces one woman after another right under his wife's nose, finally to include Florence, the wife of his friend John Dowell. (Florence has been faking a heart condition in order to reduce John to the role of solicitous keeper). But when she sees Edward alone with his teenage niece, Nancy, Florence gets jealous and kills herself. When Edward can't have Nancy, he also kills himself. Nancy, who came from a broken home and was raised by nuns, then goes insane. Despite all this, John Dowell ends up with Nancy and becomes her keeper just as he'd been for Florence.Some of the dialogue seems tongue-in-cheek, if not downright campy. One example is where Leonora accuses Florence of being a whore. Florence objects, but Leonora dead-pans, "All whores say that." (Ironic since Leonora is supposed to be a devout Irish Catholic and sensitive about her faith and heritage. Also, she's quite privileged and refined. What would she know about whores?) Similarly, John Dowell seems to be especially gullible and naive all the way through the story, even as he narrates. In fact, he starts his narration with the quote, "This is the saddest story I've ever heard." John also says shortly after his wife's suicide, "Now I can marry Nancy." Maybe it's supposed to be funny? Maybe not? We're told in the analysis that the author wanted John to be "an unreliable narrator." Oh well, at least we're spared the Louis Carroll line: "And the momrads outgrabe."Ford Madox Ford is described as a "modernist writer," which may mean that he's the literary equivalent of Picasso or Salvador Dali. If this be true, we won't look for any more works by Mr. Ford. His personal life was a mess and he was sued for child support by his estranged wife. He served 8 days in prison as a result. Perhaps his writing was a release for him where he could devise characters and stories that were even more messed up than his own life. And in this, readers can feel relieved that they may not have it so bad after all. I call this the "Tennessee Williams effect" for the American writer whose sordid tales did much the same thing. Sure it's a stretch, but there can be some kind of social value from this, can't there? I didn't waste $18.69, did I?In summing up, none of the characters in "The Good Soldier" is particularly worthy of our concern and the plot is virtually nonexistent. People end up cheating on each other and committing suicide or losing their minds. Was Mr. Ford trying to say that it was better to have a world war than to die from boredom, or what? His characterization of Americans is also unnerving. Are they supposed to be superficial or naive, when compared to their British counterparts? Or are the British just supposed to be cynical, sarcastic, treacherous, and mixed up? (The Nazis tried to persuade us of these British traits in their propaganda during World War II. Germans, on the other hand, were supposed to be much more forthright, industrious, and trustworthy--like Americans.)As to how often flashbacks are used, at the beginning, middle, and end, apparently, this was supposed to be an impressionistic device that readers would find unusual and profound. To my wife and I it just added to the mishmash and confusion. If you're going to tell a story, go ahead and tell it. If you're not going to tell a story and instead just mill around with useless characters who don't know what they want and end up wanting to kill themselves, keep the whole thing to yourself and don't bother anyone else.If you enjoy psycho-dramas with plenty of betrayal, seduction, and doubletalk, e. g., "Dangerous Liaisons," starring Glenn Close and John Malkovich, "The Good Soldier" may be for you. But if you prefer to see stories that convey a positive message, have good guys and bad guys, failure or success, you should pass on "The Good Soldier." Get, instead, "To Serve Them All My Days," or the 2005 version of "Bleak House," with Gillian Anderson. "Bleak House" may be the best thing from Masterpiece Theatre in the past 20 years.

0Amazon Instant Video

Amazon.com: Stargate: Continuum: Ben Browder, Amanda Tapping, Christopher Judge, Michael Shanks: Amazon Instant Video

0.00

0/1

0negative

Worst Alternate Idea

This is the latest in the stargate movies, the plot is that the stargate has captured their most dangerous enemy and they are preparing the trial for the crimes committed, however he tells things will change, somehow he manages to change the time when the stargate was not found and the team was not formed as we all know.While the idea is very good, I'm sorry to say the movie was profoundly very tedious, not as exciting as I hoped. So if you want alternate universes please check Star Trek Deep Space Nine or the books in which the idea is used.As this movie Sorry Stargate fans it is not worth it.

0Amazon Instant Video

Amazon.com: Stargate: Continuum: Ben Browder, Amanda Tapping, Christopher Judge, Michael Shanks: Amazon Instant Video

0.00

0/1

0negative

disappointed

I've seen better episodes on TV. Forgettable, don't even remember what it was about and it wasn't long ago that I saw it.

0Amazon Instant Video

Amazon.com: Stargate: Continuum: Ben Browder, Amanda Tapping, Christopher Judge, Michael Shanks: Amazon Instant Video

0.00

3/10

0negative

This is the single worst quality blu-ray I have seen yet.

The movie was ok, as much as a let down as 200 was, but at least it was ok.Blu-ray on a decent TV makes this thing look like utter and complete crap.I returned it to the store to get the DVD because at least that doesn't look as bad.The lack of quality on the picture makes me ashamed to be a fan.

0Amazon Instant Video

Amazon.com: Stargate: Continuum: Ben Browder, Amanda Tapping, Christopher Judge, Michael Shanks: Amazon Instant Video

0.00

0/6

0negative

Stargate: Continuum

I didn't recieve the DVD at all, was really looking forward to watching it :( makes me sad....... Wendy Johnson

0Amazon Instant Video

Amazon.com: Stargate: Continuum: Ben Browder, Amanda Tapping, Christopher Judge, Michael Shanks: Amazon Instant Video

0.00

0/6

0negative

Disappointed

I am sure the story is fine, but the disk is imperfect, lost my packing slip and need to call to return it.

0Amazon Instant Video

Amazon.com: Stargate: Continuum: Ben Browder, Amanda Tapping, Christopher Judge, Michael Shanks: Amazon Instant Video

0.00

0/6

0negative

Not a fan of Continuum

I was disappointed.My wife, who is the big stargate fan, was also. She watched it a second time and said she was glad she bought it ... after being really disappointed on the first viewing.If this were the only stargate show, I would not have any desire to watch another.My wife and I had settled down to watch good entertainment and I really was not at all happy with what I saw. It seemed confusing to me how they were pulling elements from different times and trying to put them under a single time.Anyway, glad to give my opinion for what it is worth.Save your money for something that is worth watching.

0Amazon Instant Video

Amazon.com: Stargate: Continuum: Ben Browder, Amanda Tapping, Christopher Judge, Michael Shanks: Amazon Instant Video

0.00

0/7

0negative

Bad return service

I was shipped two when I order only one! The return menu did not have a selection that covered the return and I was charged shipping to return the extra item!

0Amazon Instant Video

Amazon.com: Stargate: Continuum: Ben Browder, Amanda Tapping, Christopher Judge, Michael Shanks: Amazon Instant Video

0.00

6/20

0negative

THE BIGGEST CON IN THE UNIVERSE OF DVD!

And a slap in the face to the fans of this lame show!I have watched every episode of this series at least once; some twice or even three times, if they are exceptional!But what I cannot stand is being taken for a chump!I am not going to go into a detailed review of these two "Straight to DVD movies". There are more than enough posts to cover the bogus, rehashed plot elements.I am briefly going to cover one important fact. The Stargate & Company franchise's attitude to their viewers: "To hades with you, give us your money chimp!"This is the formula that is truly in place for the continuation of Stargate & Company!They were supposed to release these movies on DVD and then air them on SciFi. Greed entered the picture; and now it's like waiting on some lost Orson Welles masterpiece to finally be aired on telelvision. Well, this is not masterpiece--though I wish it were lost.To think of all the time spent by so many viewers of the show, and then these schmucks do not end the series; they just want to force everyone to buy a DVD that ends the series; but wait, it doesn't end it so you have to buy "Continuum" to have an ending. But they are already trying to assemble the original cast for a third ending? How many endings to we have to have? As many as shall make them so comfortable they can buy their own Stargate! :(And if you doubt my assessment, then you need only know that Stargate Atlantis is ending after only five seasons. They are going to film a movie continuing their battle with the Wraith (the Goua'uld with bad, blue skin problems); this we are told shall air on Scifi, then go to DVD. And if this promise is kept? What about after? I bet no more Scifi first airings. Oh no: straight to DVD, and we may never see Atlantis movies on Scifi again. Not that that wouldn't be a tragedy. But the idea I am to shut up and buy a DVD to find out the ending of a show takes you and me for utter imbeciles.In short: they can take the whole franchise, along with the con, and shove it up their "stargate hole"!And a third series is in the making: "Stargate Universe" or something like that. It shall air on Scifi. If it's successful, welcome to Ori-hell. It's end without ending; and shall go to "DVD movie of the week status!" Just like these.Idiotic.We should all "dial-out"; and leave Stargate as a very bad memory. Sort of like roasted Prior, without the parsely! Stick a fork in "it", and this franchise! It is done . . .Braithwaite

0Amazon Instant Video

Amazon.com: Stargate: Continuum: Ben Browder, Amanda Tapping, Christopher Judge, Michael Shanks: Amazon Instant Video

0.00

0/0

0negative

Stargate Continuum

Not bad but could have been a lot better. Overall it was dissapointing. They could have at least noted what happened to the Ori after leaving fans hanging with the series ending. Not worth buying.

0Amazon Instant Video

Amazon.com: Stargate: Continuum: Ben Browder, Amanda Tapping, Christopher Judge, Michael Shanks: Amazon Instant Video

0.00

0/0

0negative

stargate continuum

the story is without a bunchline and not as good as the others stargates that I have bought

0Amazon Instant Video

Amazon.com: Stargate: Continuum: Ben Browder, Amanda Tapping, Christopher Judge, Michael Shanks: Amazon Instant Video

0.00

7/12

0negative

A Stargate Movie

My thoughts on this are really simple. Go to Google and type in "SG-1 Movie Sneak Peak". Watch it. That's all you'll need to know. I sat through this DVD when the lights were out during Gustav. We'd been without power for three days and watched it from a laptop computer. The whole family loves Stargate and we were desperate for entertainment.During the movie...We. Were. Bored. To. Tears. I actually stopped watching at one point. Since I post my reviews on Amazon, I have to give it something. One out of five and again, that's only because I have to cough up something.

0Amazon Instant Video

Amazon.com: Stargate: Continuum: Ben Browder, Amanda Tapping, Christopher Judge, Michael Shanks: Amazon Instant Video

0.00

7/11

0negative

Yawn

I love Stargate but both movies have been average at best,Continuum is just not very engaging the actors all seem like they would rather be someplace else, the core cast is woefully under used and the pacing as with The Ark Of Truth is completely off, worst of all the storyline has been done before and better in the series.

0Amazon Instant Video

Amazon.com: Stargate: Continuum: Ben Browder, Amanda Tapping, Christopher Judge, Michael Shanks: Amazon Instant Video

0.00

1/2

0negative

Nowhere near as good as the first Stargate movie

When we viewed the blu-ray release of the original StarGate Movie....we "had to watch it again" as well as the extras."It was so good"!Having missed the Stargate TV series and the second Stargate Movie we found that "Continuum" had almost an entirely new line-up of characters. Mr Bridges was back as the all knowing General though, but that's about all.Made only for DVD and relying on special effects did not result in a good movie...The Stargate Continuum movie we ordered from Amazon dot com still has to arrive at our house in Bandung Java. We watched it on BluRay hired from a local video DVD shop......and it is hoped this is pure co-incidence. Amazon US's customer care center tells us that both the Stargate Continuum order and another for 3 standard DVD's were shipped via DPGM (most likely Deutsche Post) and that the problem might be with the Indonesian Postal service. Considering we've never had a problem with the local labour intensive Indonesian postal people, I'd be of the opinion that there has been a gltich somewhere else. DVD's ordered via Amazon.co.uk arrive at our place within days from the United Kingdom. We've given it another try for some more blu-rays....fingers crossed I hope these will get here without "going missing".Amazon in the US and UK have great web-sites and good service...let's hope those who are entrusted with delivieries will keep their act "clean"!Stephen J FleayBandung Java Indonesiaformer correspondent for CBS/[email protected]

0Amazon Instant Video

Amazon.com: Stargate: Continuum: Ben Browder, Amanda Tapping, Christopher Judge, Michael Shanks: Amazon Instant Video

0.00

4/7

0negative

disappointed

I read all those wonderful reviews and then watched the film. I was disappointed and felt like another reviewer - let down.I have been a Stargate SG1 and Stargate Alantis fan for years. It was cool to see them together for a brief few moments but then it turned out to be another episode. Where was the originality, the interaction, the character development? This movie could have rocked the house instead I went and made dinner. Returning to realize I didn't need to rewind. Admittedly, I did rewind the first time but then didn't bother for the second and third. I was getting bored.I wish it was more and I think the disappointment was in I expected it to be more than just another episode. Everything was so predictable - a cash cow.I am so glad I rented. I won't waste my money.

0Amazon Instant Video

Amazon.com: Stargate: Continuum: Ben Browder, Amanda Tapping, Christopher Judge, Michael Shanks: Amazon Instant Video

0.00

0/1

0negative

Stunk

I am a die hard stargate fan...this movie was really bad....wish that stargate would stop taking advantage of its loyal fan base by making this straight to DVD movies....end the series or put in back on the air...(i would have much prefered to pay $10 to go see on big screen vs buying the expensive dvd.)

0Amazon Instant Video

Amazon.com: Stargate: Continuum: Ben Browder, Amanda Tapping, Christopher Judge, Michael Shanks: Amazon Instant Video

0.00

1/3

0negative

Seriously Disappointing

The original Stargate movie was pretty good, but I apparently missed at least one in between, because this one seemed to be assuming I knew things about the characters that I did not know. And to be honest, I couldn't seem to care. For one thing, it involved time paradoxes that provided apparently random kinks in the plot. So much ended up depending on whether character 1 recognized character 2, and vice versa. Again, dependent on at least one movie I missed, or on seriously poor writing.

0Amazon Instant Video

Amazon.com: Stargate: Continuum: Ben Browder, Amanda Tapping, Christopher Judge, Michael Shanks: Amazon Instant Video

0.00

1/1

0negative

Continuum, can't compare to Ark

Couldn't get into this. Ark of Truth was so much better, it served a purpose in the SG-1 time-line. Continuum, was just another episode of the show, rather contrived I might add. Seeing Claudia Black as Quetesh was one of the highlights. This movie really should have served to add more back story to the characters, revisit a storyline like ("2001" or "2010") or advance the SG universe like finally having full disclosure. Basically I'm glad I waited to buy until it was half price.

0Amazon Instant Video

Amazon.com: Stargate: Continuum: Ben Browder, Amanda Tapping, Christopher Judge, Michael Shanks: Amazon Instant Video

0.00

1/1

0negative

Borrow, don't buy!

A very predictable thrown-together movie to make a few more bucks from an otherwise outstanding series. Better than "Ark of Truth",but not much.

0Amazon Instant Video

Amazon.com: Stargate: Continuum: Ben Browder, Amanda Tapping, Christopher Judge, Michael Shanks: Amazon Instant Video

0.00

4/10

0negative

DisCONTINUUM immediately!

The producers of this franchise know they have a great fan base, but now after several years of making an intelligent and entertaining sci-fi series I think they've given in to intellectual laziness. If "Continuum" is the new standard of what we (the fans) can expect to see in the future from this franchise, then they should just stop making these films now. The plot to "Continuum" is silly, the narrative (the story and how it is told) is completely bland and devoid of life. It was as though all these characters we have come to know, suddenly had their souls written out of the script.

0Amazon Instant Video

Amazon.com: Stargate: Continuum: Ben Browder, Amanda Tapping, Christopher Judge, Michael Shanks: Amazon Instant Video

0.00

6/14

0negative

A Decent Story, But Minimal Budget and Lack of Action Drag Down

I watched this movie hoping for closure to the franchise, and it delivered. But it still lacked that typical SG-1 zing to it that leaves a philosophical thought or critical sequence in your head for days. This movie shows great potential, but ultimately it acts as only a closer, giving no real satisfaction to the watcher. Hardcore SG-1 fans will enjoy this movie, but if you're not a long time fan or only watch the show occasionally, may as well give this one a miss. Due to a seemingly crammed together and rushed storyline.

0Amazon Instant Video

Amazon.com: Stargate: Continuum: Ben Browder, Amanda Tapping, Christopher Judge, Michael Shanks: Amazon Instant Video

0.00

9/20

0negative

My least favorate episode,or movie of any stargate

I've seen every Stargate SG1 and Atlantis Episodes and movie.The reason I didn't like it was the one thing I loved about the shows that for the most part, they were clean. This one had a couple almost goryscenes. Not to mention the swearing was like star trek 4 and 5, were all of the sudden your Heroes of many years start having potty mouths, it's so unnecessary. I was looking forward to an all new sg1 were they tackle something new, not a rehash of the same old thing. It seems like The industry is turning to the Dark side again with the success of an over the top Dark Knight being so succesful, the feel good adventure will need a comeback. Please bring the SG1 team back for a good adventure!

0Amazon Instant Video

Amazon.com: Stargate: Continuum: Ben Browder, Amanda Tapping, Christopher Judge, Michael Shanks: Amazon Instant Video

0.00

0/4

0negative

Not satisfied

I purchased Stargate continium and when I received it they sent me Steel magnolias instead I have contacted the company 3 times anf=d after 3 weeks I have heard nothing I will not purchasing anything through Amazon again or its partners

0Amazon Instant Video

Amazon.com: Stargate: Continuum: Ben Browder, Amanda Tapping, Christopher Judge, Michael Shanks: Amazon Instant Video

0.00

55/71

0negative

Not as Good as I Expected

I was let down by this movie, I've read the other reviews and I can understand how people are excited by seeing their favorite characters back again, but personally I think they are over-rating this film and not being critical enough. Don't get me wrong, its ok but that's about it, it would have made a good two part episode but not a great movie. The problem here is they are adding a little extra for effects or going on location and just selling episodes as movies at $16 to $20. So what were my problems:Length - this was too short for what they wanted to accomplish. They could have added an hour to this and really added to the plot. If I'm going to buy episodes of Stargate, I at least want to feel like I'm getting enough for my dollar.Subplot - The subplots were stupid, Mitchell's grandfather just so happens to be the captain of the ship carrying the stargate in 1939. Yeah that's believable, your audience isn't stupid and that subplot added nothing to the overall film, it was a complete distraction. Oh, and of the entire Armed Forces to just happen to be at the North Pole training - It's Jack O'Neill, yeah ok again your audience is stupid and you're the smartest script writers in the world. Give me a break.From TV to Movie - I sense a lot of the problems with this film, and potentially future films is going to be coming from an overly excited crew that are getting to do more making a movie than they did making a TV episode. They seem to be more concerned with their locations and adding cursing to the script then they do about the quality of the plot and script writing as well as directing the acting. The whole "we filmed it in the artic" means nothing, you get one scene of Sam and Mitchell walking across the tundra and some aerial shots, big deal nothing makes up for a good plot or at least spend more on the special effects. This is even becoming a formula for the Stargate movies, let's pick a cool location, and then have one or two of the character just walk while we fly around filming them and we can add an orchestra piece and that's really going to impress the audience, or are we impressing ourselves while making the film. The problem is they are impressing themselves not the audience, it just slows down the film for the audience and the film is already too short for that, spend the time with plot development not impressing yourself with the location. They think if they can impress us with their cute stuff, but nothing, nothing can replace a well thought out script and thoughtful dialog. **spoiler** There are two examples of this that drove me crazy, one was when Jack is killed by Baal, don't you think after 8 seasons of building up the Carter/Jack relationship she might start crying or freaking out and then when Daniel falls through the ice is frost-bitten and they have to leave him behind to die, don't you think that might call for an emotional moment or some great final words before you leave a beloved member of the team to his death. No we only get Daniel saying, "Bye," that's it...great script writing, well thought out. This is why this movie needed to be longer, this why they shouldn't focus so much on location and cute curse words, so you could fully develop the plot and script.Richard Dean Anderson - OK most of us thought he was going to be a major part of the story, hello, why wouldn't you make him a bigger part of the story; he was the bedrock of the series. Instead we get a couple of unremarkable cameo appearances, with goofy dialog and no substance. That was a let down, especially since you advertised him so heavily as being in the film.Effects - I really was expecting more effects then what we got. I thought there was going to be a great battle scene in space or cities getting blown up, but not really. It was a big let down for a short movie without much action, just the film makers trying to impress us with location, or planes and subs, etc. It wasn't great.I'm getting ripped off - Bottom-line, I love SG-1, I've seen every episode, but I really want thee show back... I'm not going to keep running out to buy these extremely short films. It's a marketing scheme. I'm sure they are making a lot more selling these DVDs then producing the show. I'm done buying the films. They just aren't worth it. Put the show back on the air or why don't the "movie makers" just make a sci-fi stargate mini-series at least you would have time to fully develop the plot. Anything is better than making your fans buy these films, or make better planned out films.

0Amazon Instant Video

Amazon.com: Stargate: Continuum: Ben Browder, Amanda Tapping, Christopher Judge, Michael Shanks: Amazon Instant Video

0.00

7/10

0negative

Fun movie, bad Blu-Ray

I should have gone with the DVD. The image quality on this is the worst of any Blu-Ray in my collection. It looks like a DVD, actually. That said, it bogs down my HTPC more than any other Blu-Ray in my collection. It stops, lurches, and the sound gets really out of sync. It also flips out completely for a few frames here and there and displays a randomly colored pixelated image.The movie itself is a good rompin' episode of the sci fi classic. But save your money and get the DVD.UPDATE: I upgraded the firmware on my LG drive and it solved most of the issues with this disc. The lurching/stuttering/syncing problems are gone. It still goes bonkers with the pixelated image from time to time. For the most part, the disc is now watchable. But it's still a very disappointing Blu-Ray.

0Amazon Instant Video

Amazon.com: Stargate: Continuum: Ben Browder, Amanda Tapping, Christopher Judge, Michael Shanks: Amazon Instant Video

0.00

0/0

0negative

pleasent fluff

this was pleasent and satifying fluff. It's always worth while to watch Baal's machinations, but it would have played better as an episode.Sorry I can't say more.

0Amazon Instant Video

Amazon.com: Stargate: Continuum: Ben Browder, Amanda Tapping, Christopher Judge, Michael Shanks: Amazon Instant Video

0.00

1/3

0negative

Great movie butt o grainy on blueray

I like all the stargates. But this one and ark of truth are way to grainy they look better on standard dvd. Other then that it's another great stargate film.

0Amazon Instant Video

Amazon.com: Stargate: Continuum: Ben Browder, Amanda Tapping, Christopher Judge, Michael Shanks: Amazon Instant Video

0.00

1/3

0negative

Tired and Reheated, you can say that again

I just watched the DVD at home on a widescreen honking TV. I suppose that if I had been "lucky enough" to have been at the rare viewing(s) in the theater, I would have had a better experience. I found the movie to be tired, predictable and the outcome a tad too convenient. I would have liked to have seen the asgard in this one; I won't say more lest I spoil it. The actors did a good job, but the writing was a bit blah.SEMI SPOILER ***** Having seen the short premier interviews of the actors, I would have to agree that it would be nice for SG1 to visit some more exotic or at least different looking planets. We've been seeing a lot of the same old things. I also don't buy Teal'c's simple decision making. In the early days, we know how long and how much it took to turn his head, so to speak in Children of the Gods. And yes, there wasn't much time, but then if I were in his shoes I would have don't what he did if I were in character.I would give this 2.5 stars if I could, but I feel a bit cheated after having to wait for one of the only two copies to be returned to the video store. You'd think that some day the fact that the gap is closing between the big screen and home release would make it to the people who decide how many DVDs end up on the store shelves. Bad move Hollywood Video and Family Video! On the other hand, I'm still glad I saw it on DVD rental for $3.00 instead of buying it.

0Amazon Instant Video

Amazon.com: Stargate: Continuum: Ben Browder, Amanda Tapping, Christopher Judge, Michael Shanks: Amazon Instant Video

0.00

10/18

0negative

Tired and reheated

when I first read about this Movie's plot I thought that it sounded familiar, I mean after all changing the time line so the gate was never found had been done before in the series, in fact not too many years ago. they just put a different spin on it. I watched anyway not expecting much and gladly I was not disappointed.The movie was rushed and it was flat, it felt like they wanted to make a movie but had no idea what to do. my Wife who has been watching the series since the very fist episode, walked out 20 minutes before the ending, when I asked if she wanted to see the end she asked "would it make a difference?" and I have to agree with her.besides the story being unremarkable and tired there are the usual array of nits. I wont get into all of them because I dont have enough minutes in my life to recount them all but the crux of it for me is: Bal changes time and SOMEHOW our heroes are unaffected so they go about trying to fix things. when I read that originally I figured it would be explained in the film, nope no such luck. apparently the writers decided that SG1 was unaffected and that was that, no explanation as to why the entire universe changes and only our heroes are spared. the movie just goes downhill from there.I don't know why they bothered to make this film, it is obvious that they really didn't have an idea of what to do so they just ran film and ran with it.

0Amazon Instant Video

Amazon.com: Stargate: Continuum: Ben Browder, Amanda Tapping, Christopher Judge, Michael Shanks: Amazon Instant Video

0.00

0/2

0negative

Old plots with very little action.

Not for my taste. "Stargate: Continuum" has a very old plot that has been reused over and over again in both "Stargate SG-1" as well as in sci-fi stories in general. The first half is lacking in action, and you don't see much of O'Neill in this one. He shows up in the first few minutes of the film and the last few, but that's it. And the story is lacking in structure. The second half of the movie wasn't that bad, but still not worth wasting your money on.Not recommended!

0Amazon Instant Video

Amazon.com: Stargate: Continuum: Ben Browder, Amanda Tapping, Christopher Judge, Michael Shanks: Amazon Instant Video

0.00

0/2

0negative

Blu-ray quality same as upconverted DVD

The quality of the image compression was the same as the up-converted DVD of Ark of Truth I just watched a few days before. There was no comparison in watching the Arctic scenes (so-so) vs Planet Earth Blu-Ray (great). Not sure why they'd even release this as blu-ray unless they're pulling a fast one.The story had holes in it bigger than the gate itself. When time changed, people were disappearing like Back to the Future style. poof? The paradoxes are ridiculous.. like why is Baal able to travel back and stop the stargate from arriving in the US. if he did that, he wouldn't know about Earth in the first place. where did Baal get Anubis's ship? how did Daniel's leg reappear? why make mitchell the hero? you'd think for a $7mil budget, they'd pull a better script together.I think the only thing I enjoyed was Vala as a villain.

0Amazon Instant Video

Amazon.com: Stargate: Continuum: Ben Browder, Amanda Tapping, Christopher Judge, Michael Shanks: Amazon Instant Video

0.00

1/1

0negative

Close but no cigar

This movie includes all of the traditional "Stargate" favorites, from Jack O'Neill to General Landry, but without the humor that made the series so enjoyable. It plays as though the writers and the director had a checklist instead of a script. Quip for Oneill-check, Brilliant insight by Carter-check, Moral stance for Daniel Jackson-check. None of the elements are truely integrated. Watching this convoluted tale was a large disappointment.

0Amazon Instant Video

Amazon.com: Max Keeble's Big Move: Alex D. Linz, Larry Miller, Jamie Kennedy, Nora Dunn: Amazon Instant Video

9.99

1/4

0negative

Disney botches another DVD release

The trailers make "Max Keeble's Big Move" look like it could be a charming and enjoyable family comedy. But now I won't know, because Disney has decided to ignore a large portion of the DVD market, namely the people who established the format and buy more DVDs than any other group. Of course I'm referring to DVD customers who prefer to see the entire film the way it was made, in its theatrical aspect ratio. Instead of presenting "Max Keeble's Big Move" in 1.85:1 widescreen, as it was framed for and as the trailers show, Disney has decided to do a Fullscreen-only release. Well, Disney couldn't be more out of touch with their customer base, as they're losing the business of myself and several others who feel that films deserve respect to be seen in their proper ratio. I definitely would have rented it, which very well could have lead to a purchase, but instead, I'll pass this up for a family DVD that is presented in its proper ratio. It's a shame too, because Larry Miller is one funny man, and I looked forward to seeing Alex D. Linz's and Robert Carradine's performances. If you enjoyed this movie, I'd recommend holding off for a widescreen DVD release. If you didn't like it, then there's really no reason to consider renting or buying anyway. I really would love to buy this DVD, but Disney doesn't realize that Pan & Scan is fine and dandy for VHS, but not for DVDs, particularly when the future is clearly 16:9 widescreen television sets. If this release is indicative of Disney's Big Move in thinking that DVD customers want fullscreen, they'll be saving me (and many others I'm sure) a lot of money. I've got no problem with people who prefer to watch Movies in Fullscreen, but there is a major problem, when there is no choice given to the consumer, and we are unable to view a film in its original, unedited form.

0Amazon Instant Video

Amazon.com: Max Keeble's Big Move: Alex D. Linz, Larry Miller, Jamie Kennedy, Nora Dunn: Amazon Instant Video

9.99

0/3

0negative

Max Keebles delivers the goods

Funny, funny funny...Unrestrained junior academic high jinks that will have your 14 year old, (and not to mention, YOURSELF) sprinting violently out of the room and into the streets screaming loud uproarious praise for this once-in-a-lifetime masterpiece. This little jem of a purchase is a must for anyonetired of the usual hollywood fair. The character of Mark is by far the biggest scene-stealer in this shining cast of adolescent thespians! I have seen the glorious future and it has a name : Hail Maximus Keeble!

0Amazon Instant Video

Amazon.com: Max Keeble's Big Move: Alex D. Linz, Larry Miller, Jamie Kennedy, Nora Dunn: Amazon Instant Video

9.99

1/5

0negative

NOT RECOMMENDED FOR AGES 15 AND UP.

KIDS WILL LOVE IT. ADULTS WILL THINK IT'S KID'S STUFF. I CAN'T SAY I HATED IT. BUT IT'S DEFINITELY FOR THE NICKELODEON CROWD.

0Amazon Instant Video

Amazon.com: Max Keeble's Big Move: Alex D. Linz, Larry Miller, Jamie Kennedy, Nora Dunn: Amazon Instant Video

9.99

3/4

0negative

No Widescreen

This is only avalible in full screen. Its lack of a proper aspect ratio. Disney is totally ignorant in this issue. When disney decides to release this in its in 1.85 anamorphic widescreen then I will buy it.

0Amazon Instant Video

Amazon.com: Max Keeble's Big Move: Alex D. Linz, Larry Miller, Jamie Kennedy, Nora Dunn: Amazon Instant Video

9.99

4/7

0negative

If you're after that old Disney magic, look elsewhere.

.... You don't have to be a brain surgeon to figure out what happens next.A movie that is loud, clumsy, empty-headed, totally unfunny, mean-spirited & full of moronic supporting characters; MAX KEEBLE will appeal only to the most simple-minded of children. Amazingly there are FOUR writers credited here! Their combined creative genius even sees the biggest cliche of high school movies trotted out yet again: that of the cafeteria food fight!Although it isn't a complete travesty, MAX KEEBLE'S BIG MOVE is a film that belongs in the lower ranks of Disney productions. One that parents will be reluctant to suffer through with their kids. A shame considering it's directed by Tim Hill, whose previous film was MUPPETS FROM SPACE, which I consider to be THE best Muppet movie ever. You'd be better off watching that instead, or even one of the old classic Disney movies. (Especially if it's got Stella Stevens in it, in which case Dads will definitely want to watch it). Uncle Walt would not be impressed. Bring back Donald Duck!

0Amazon Instant Video

Amazon.com: Max Keeble's Big Move: Alex D. Linz, Larry Miller, Jamie Kennedy, Nora Dunn: Amazon Instant Video

9.99

0/1

0negative

Must-miss for anyone over the age of 10

Here's another staggeringly unoriginal and unfunny kids comedy from Disney, where the future of the film is set up before the screenwriters type one word of it up: take a silly, clichéd plot, with stereotype characters, put in all the clichés in the world into the script including an inevitable, shallow moral at the end, and sign on some child actors in the cast who kids today are familiar with. Throw in one or two possible adult comedians or rising child stars and you've got a sure moneymaker relying solely on parents taking their kids to see the fluff. Disney has used the formula for many decades, especially the nineties. It can be applied to almost any of their live-action family films, such as The Apple Dumpling Gang (Which was still somewhat enjoyable), First Kid, the awful The Pacifier, and others. The movies don't need to make lots of money, just enough profit to set them with a couple million more than their tiny budgets give them. That isn't hard.In Max Keeble's Big Move, the adults are the goat of almost every joke so it's hard to see them buying it for their kids. The billions of clichés in it make it nearly unwatchable for anyone with any sort of movie discretion at all.Max Keeble suffers from bullies who make typically lame taunts and stuff in school. He's picked on by the typically annoying and snobby principal (with typically abominable dialogue). He has a huge crush on the typically nasty popular girl who hangs out with the typically magnetic suck-up friends who would follow her through a tar pit. So when his typically retarded parents tell him he's moving, Max pulls all the typical pratfalls and pranks in these movies on the bullies in his school for a week, until he finds out the deepest plot twist you'll find here: he's not moving! Now he has to stand up to the bullies he played pranks on. And when he hangs out with the popular kids for a night his real friends abandon him, where another shallow moral makes its way into the film; something about "not hanging out with people that don't dance and shake their booties on diner tables at night for fun."Another scene finds the principal literally trying to kill young Max by locking him in his favorite pet shelter that's about to bulldozed. I was actually rooting for the principal, if only because for the first time in this movie something unexpected would happen. But nothing unexpected ever happens.I'm surprised the Golden Razzie Awards overlooked this movie when it came out. Max Keeble's Big Move is so stupid it gives these clichéd kids movies a bad name.

0Amazon Instant Video

Amazon.com: Signing Songs: Lesley Ketcham, Rustin Hamilton, Girard Sagmiller: Amazon Instant Video

3/3

0negative

Terrible, Terrible, Terrible. A total rip off.

This 52 minute video is nothing more than 8-10 minutes of bad content on a loop. It is a video of one woman doing sing-along style songs. Any claims that this is a "Sign Language" video are dubious at best. There are very few real American Sign Language signs, so few as to be pointless. An episode of Blues Clues has more signs. I feel ripped off, and I didn't even pay any money of out my own pocket (I was using $15 in free Amazon Unbox credit from a promotion). Stay away from this video at all costs. I highly recommend Signing Time, which isn't yet available from Amazon Unbox. I hope it will be soon; I'm going to send the makers of Signing Time an email asking them to get their content online.

0Amazon Instant Video

Amazon.com: Switching Goals: Ashley Olsen, Mary-kate Olsen, David Steinberg, Rich Heller: Amazon Instant Video

2.99

3/5

0negative

The Olsens' movies are just getting more and more pathetic!

I'm very, very sorry to say this, but THIS MOVIE IS RIDICULOUS. THERE IS NO PLOT, NO MORAL LESSON, NO NOTHING. I can understand the part how Sam and Emma switch teams because they were upset with how they were placed, but after that it was like, hello? Where's the rest of the story? The acting was pretty good but the actual plot (or lack of it) totally stunk!

0Amazon Instant Video

Amazon.com: Switching Goals: Ashley Olsen, Mary-kate Olsen, David Steinberg, Rich Heller: Amazon Instant Video

2.99

1/3

0negative

Too Typical

You think that since these girls had done so many movies, they would have least done something more original than the "twin" switch. They would not have been as successful as they are if they were not born twins, but they should still be more creative. I did not like this movie, and the acting was not good at all. It was a huge disappointment.

0Amazon Instant Video

Amazon.com: Switching Goals: Ashley Olsen, Mary-kate Olsen, David Steinberg, Rich Heller: Amazon Instant Video

2.99

2/9

0negative

bad acting

This movie had bad acting. The dad is dramactic and corney. The mom is just corney, and all of the soccer coaches are acting like it was big pro sports championship. The olson twins were corny but entertaining to watch. This movie is unrealistic that Emma (ashley) and Sam Mary Kate were on 2 different teams. (It's a rule that siblings be on same sports team) This movie has bad quality actors and a unrealistic plot.

0Amazon Instant Video