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B | POST: Took newborn to hospital for head injury and now they’re telling me that they have to involve Child Protective Team??? Today I experienced what any worse parents can experience, my child getting injured, as I was getting him on his car seat, my 8 week old flung him self off the counter that I had the car seat on and bumped his head. I felt like complete and utter shit but I immediately took him to the ER to rule out any traumatic brain injury. I’m now in the hospital day 2, they stated results of imaging was normal, but this nurse told me that child protective team will talk to me and also that they are going to re X-ray my newborn??? When I asked why they said it’s standard procedure for anyone under a year old to have child protective team involved. I feel a failure as a parent because I made my first mistake with my baby and I’ve just gone through hell dealing with the stress of my newborns injury, and now im being told child protective team has to investigate? Is this normal?? And why do they have to re-X-ray the bones and expose them to more radiation?
RESPONSE A: This is pretty normal. The additional x-rays are to rule out other history of broken bones which may not have been treated. It is a standard and somewhat effective way of trying to zero in on families where there's a larger problem.
RESPONSE B: I used to work for DCS in a US state years ago, and it was standard procedure for a child under a certain age with an injury to have an investigation, for the reasons stated above, like abuse being covered by an "accident." I had coworkers going to hospitals pretty frequently. This can happen even when someone does everything right, but due to the high potential for abuse, it has to be investigated.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
A | POST: Took newborn to hospital for head injury and now they’re telling me that they have to involve Child Protective Team??? Today I experienced what any worse parents can experience, my child getting injured, as I was getting him on his car seat, my 8 week old flung him self off the counter that I had the car seat on and bumped his head. I felt like complete and utter shit but I immediately took him to the ER to rule out any traumatic brain injury. I’m now in the hospital day 2, they stated results of imaging was normal, but this nurse told me that child protective team will talk to me and also that they are going to re X-ray my newborn??? When I asked why they said it’s standard procedure for anyone under a year old to have child protective team involved. I feel a failure as a parent because I made my first mistake with my baby and I’ve just gone through hell dealing with the stress of my newborns injury, and now im being told child protective team has to investigate? Is this normal?? And why do they have to re-X-ray the bones and expose them to more radiation?
RESPONSE A: I used to work for DCS in a US state years ago, and it was standard procedure for a child under a certain age with an injury to have an investigation, for the reasons stated above, like abuse being covered by an "accident." I had coworkers going to hospitals pretty frequently. This can happen even when someone does everything right, but due to the high potential for abuse, it has to be investigated.
RESPONSE B: It’s normal. Many parents lie to cover abusive injuries to their kids. If they tell you it’s standard protocol then they legally have to contact them to cover their own asses in the case it’s a legitimate abuse incident. Just be truthful to the case worker.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
B | POST: Took newborn to hospital for head injury and now they’re telling me that they have to involve Child Protective Team??? Today I experienced what any worse parents can experience, my child getting injured, as I was getting him on his car seat, my 8 week old flung him self off the counter that I had the car seat on and bumped his head. I felt like complete and utter shit but I immediately took him to the ER to rule out any traumatic brain injury. I’m now in the hospital day 2, they stated results of imaging was normal, but this nurse told me that child protective team will talk to me and also that they are going to re X-ray my newborn??? When I asked why they said it’s standard procedure for anyone under a year old to have child protective team involved. I feel a failure as a parent because I made my first mistake with my baby and I’ve just gone through hell dealing with the stress of my newborns injury, and now im being told child protective team has to investigate? Is this normal?? And why do they have to re-X-ray the bones and expose them to more radiation?
RESPONSE A: It’s normal. Many parents lie to cover abusive injuries to their kids. If they tell you it’s standard protocol then they legally have to contact them to cover their own asses in the case it’s a legitimate abuse incident. Just be truthful to the case worker.
RESPONSE B: I am a hospital pharmacist. I am not a lawyer. This is standard operating procedure for an injury such as this one. It does NOT mean they think you intentionally harmed your baby. The additional X-rays will not harm your baby. You are a not a failure as a parent. Every parent learns lessons. I accidentally left the a baby gate open and my 1 year old tumbled down about 8 stairs. She ended up being totally fine but I of course felt terrible for weeks. I still cringe thinking about it. My wife and I learned from that experience and now shout "GATE OPEN" every time we leave the gate open with kids upstairs.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
B | POST: child protective team will talk to me and also that they are going to re X-ray my newborn??? When I asked why they said it’s standard procedure for anyone under a year old to have child protective team involved. I feel a failure as a parent because I made my first mistake with my baby and I’ve just gone through hell dealing with the stress of my newborns injury, and now im being told child protective team has to investigate? Is this normal?? And why do they have to re-X-ray the bones and expose them to more radiation?
RESPONSE A: Breathe deep and try to calm down. It’s standard procedure to get child services involved. Most of these guys are very understanding, and will come from a viewpoint that you’re a (I’m assuming) new mom, or if you have other children, then you’re still getting reacquainted with having a new born again. They know parents make mistakes, and their kids will get injured through no intent and malice on your part. They just have to play it safe, and they can’t just assume there was no intent involved until they actually investigate. They’re just looking after your baby. Whatever you do, don’t be defiant, overly defensive, or combative. Those are red flags for anyone. You’re already remorseful, and they’ll see that. Be honest and understanding towards their own perspective, and give them no reason to suspect you’re hiding anything. You’re all trying to do best by your child.
RESPONSE B: I am a hospital pharmacist. I am not a lawyer. This is standard operating procedure for an injury such as this one. It does NOT mean they think you intentionally harmed your baby. The additional X-rays will not harm your baby. You are a not a failure as a parent. Every parent learns lessons. I accidentally left the a baby gate open and my 1 year old tumbled down about 8 stairs. She ended up being totally fine but I of course felt terrible for weeks. I still cringe thinking about it. My wife and I learned from that experience and now shout "GATE OPEN" every time we leave the gate open with kids upstairs.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
B | POST: a year old to have child protective team involved. I feel a failure as a parent because I made my first mistake with my baby and I’ve just gone through hell dealing with the stress of my newborns injury, and now im being told child protective team has to investigate? Is this normal?? And why do they have to re-X-ray the bones and expose them to more radiation?
RESPONSE A: Deep breaths parent! It's so scary, I understand how you are feeling! You are not a failure as a parent. Accidents happen and really for the first couple of years you are just trying to keep a tiny person from unaliving themselves in ways you didn't know were possible. One of my good friends is an investigator for CPS. This is pretty common procedure following an injury like this. It isn't that they don't believe you, it's because they believed the wrong person in the past. So they are making sure they follow all protocol to protect all kids (obviously this is a general statement). The extra xray is just to ensure they didn't miss anything. Lastly, I've been the kid in this situation. My idiot aunt was babysitting me when I was 3, went to the gym to work out, and I was playing on the equipment. I fell off a weight bench at JUST the right angle and fractured my arm. My mom also had a broken arm because she slipped and fell at work. So dv was assumed. Everything cleared up, but it's definitely scary! Hugs to you!
RESPONSE B: I am a hospital pharmacist. I am not a lawyer. This is standard operating procedure for an injury such as this one. It does NOT mean they think you intentionally harmed your baby. The additional X-rays will not harm your baby. You are a not a failure as a parent. Every parent learns lessons. I accidentally left the a baby gate open and my 1 year old tumbled down about 8 stairs. She ended up being totally fine but I of course felt terrible for weeks. I still cringe thinking about it. My wife and I learned from that experience and now shout "GATE OPEN" every time we leave the gate open with kids upstairs.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
A | POST: owe. When I moved into my apartment there were many outstanding deficiencies. I sent an exhaustive email detailing/noting all of the items that they promised to do prior to my move in that were not completed. The property manager conducted a walk thru of my unit. I pointed out all of the outstanding items. She apologized for the many oversights and told me that they would apply concessions to me account verbally and via email. The amount and duration of the concessions were not told to me. My rent is $1500 a month and for 8 months I received a concession of $200 off of my monthly rent. I paid $1300 per month plus water, as billed. Now the property manager sent me a notice stating that I owe back $1600 because she hadn't intended to give me those discounts and it was meant to only be a one-time discount of $200. She has taken my Feb rent payment and applied it toward this amount and informed me that I am now behind on my rent. When submitting my rent checks I always made note on my checks that the check was to cover rent+water. I have never missed a rent payment and never paid late. Always paid my rent on time, minus the concessions that were given to me. I received a notice demanding I pay the delinquent rent (that IMo is not delinquent) or face eviction. Also, received a notice to renew my lease. Another note... the property is under new ownership and management and they are telling me that these discounts though given to me from the prior owner/management company are now owed to them. The onsite property manager, the one harassing me, is the same onsite manager who issued the discounts and now working with the new company.
RESPONSE A: Do you still have a copy of the emails? It sounds like you may be looking at court. If the lease says $1,500 and the manager says it was a one time credit of $200 and you have no other proof it is going to be hard to win a case. If you have emails listing everything that was wrong you could at least get a total value to show the single $200 wouldn’t have come close to covering it.
RESPONSE B: City/state makes a big difference. Please edit your post and include.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
B | POST: . My rent is $1500 a month and for 8 months I received a concession of $200 off of my monthly rent. I paid $1300 per month plus water, as billed. Now the property manager sent me a notice stating that I owe back $1600 because she hadn't intended to give me those discounts and it was meant to only be a one-time discount of $200. She has taken my Feb rent payment and applied it toward this amount and informed me that I am now behind on my rent. When submitting my rent checks I always made note on my checks that the check was to cover rent+water. I have never missed a rent payment and never paid late. Always paid my rent on time, minus the concessions that were given to me. I received a notice demanding I pay the delinquent rent (that IMo is not delinquent) or face eviction. Also, received a notice to renew my lease. Another note... the property is under new ownership and management and they are telling me that these discounts though given to me from the prior owner/management company are now owed to them. The onsite property manager, the one harassing me, is the same onsite manager who issued the discounts and now working with the new company.
RESPONSE A: Hi there! I’m the LegalFAQ bot. It looks like you may be experiencing housing issues related to housing or eviction. Come to https://legalfaq.org to find legal resources for renters in each state. You can also find links to local groups that can help you with legal, financial, or other problems at https://legalfaq.org/getHelp. Help us provide accurate advice to fellow redditors: if your post was related to housing or eviction, please like this comment; otherwise, please dislike this comment.
RESPONSE B: Do you still have a copy of the emails? It sounds like you may be looking at court. If the lease says $1,500 and the manager says it was a one time credit of $200 and you have no other proof it is going to be hard to win a case. If you have emails listing everything that was wrong you could at least get a total value to show the single $200 wouldn’t have come close to covering it.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
B | POST: items that they promised to do prior to my move in that were not completed. The property manager conducted a walk thru of my unit. I pointed out all of the outstanding items. She apologized for the many oversights and told me that they would apply concessions to me account verbally and via email. The amount and duration of the concessions were not told to me. My rent is $1500 a month and for 8 months I received a concession of $200 off of my monthly rent. I paid $1300 per month plus water, as billed. Now the property manager sent me a notice stating that I owe back $1600 because she hadn't intended to give me those discounts and it was meant to only be a one-time discount of $200. She has taken my Feb rent payment and applied it toward this amount and informed me that I am now behind on my rent. When submitting my rent checks I always made note on my checks that the check was to cover rent+water. I have never missed a rent payment and never paid late. Always paid my rent on time, minus the concessions that were given to me. I received a notice demanding I pay the delinquent rent (that IMo is not delinquent) or face eviction. Also, received a notice to renew my lease. Another note... the property is under new ownership and management and they are telling me that these discounts though given to me from the prior owner/management company are now owed to them. The onsite property manager, the one harassing me, is the same onsite manager who issued the discounts and now working with the new company.
RESPONSE A: Hi there! I’m the LegalFAQ bot. It looks like you may be experiencing housing issues related to housing or eviction. Come to https://legalfaq.org to find legal resources for renters in each state. You can also find links to local groups that can help you with legal, financial, or other problems at https://legalfaq.org/getHelp. Help us provide accurate advice to fellow redditors: if your post was related to housing or eviction, please like this comment; otherwise, please dislike this comment.
RESPONSE B: City/state makes a big difference. Please edit your post and include.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
B | POST: [MI] My ex and I came to an agreement for me to keep my son for a week, she disappeared for 3 weeks, and is now saying I kidnapped him. I have had my son since the 20th of January. BM was supposed to pick him up the 27th of January, she did not pick him up. I texted her and she said “I’ll be back eventually”. During her time away she was doing hardcore drugs, driving reckless, and partying(she posted these things online). She showed up at my door yesterday, no car, barely any clothes, and obviously still high on something, wanting our son. I refused to give him to her and called her parents to take her home. Today she is now posting that I kidnapped our son, she didn’t know where he was, and that I’m abusing him. Absolutely none of this is true, she has not even tried to come get him today. I have cameras in front of my house and can prove that. What I have: 1. Screenshots of every text message between me and my ex agreeing to me having him for a week, her saying she’d be back eventually, and my “where are yous?” during these 3 weeks, 2. Phone call recordings of me and her parents talking about her showing up to my house high 3. Screen recordings of her doing drugs, reckless driving, etc 4. The video of her showing up to my house high How do I proceed from here? I am worried that she will call the police and this will destroy my career. I am already getting hate mail.
RESPONSE A: Document everything! The text messages between you The agreement that it would be onky a week The social media shpwing what she was doing for three weeks
RESPONSE B: File for emergency custody, for starters. Do not let her take him. Do not let her parents take him. If he’s in school/daycare, alert them of the situation and her current state. And lastly, ignore the bullshit on social media. The people that matter will know the truth.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
A | POST: [MI] My ex and I came to an agreement for me to keep my son for a week, she disappeared for 3 weeks, and is now saying I kidnapped him. I have had my son since the 20th of January. BM was supposed to pick him up the 27th of January, she did not pick him up. I texted her and she said “I’ll be back eventually”. During her time away she was doing hardcore drugs, driving reckless, and partying(she posted these things online). She showed up at my door yesterday, no car, barely any clothes, and obviously still high on something, wanting our son. I refused to give him to her and called her parents to take her home. Today she is now posting that I kidnapped our son, she didn’t know where he was, and that I’m abusing him. Absolutely none of this is true, she has not even tried to come get him today. I have cameras in front of my house and can prove that. What I have: 1. Screenshots of every text message between me and my ex agreeing to me having him for a week, her saying she’d be back eventually, and my “where are yous?” during these 3 weeks, 2. Phone call recordings of me and her parents talking about her showing up to my house high 3. Screen recordings of her doing drugs, reckless driving, etc 4. The video of her showing up to my house high How do I proceed from here? I am worried that she will call the police and this will destroy my career. I am already getting hate mail.
RESPONSE A: File for emergency custody, for starters. Do not let her take him. Do not let her parents take him. If he’s in school/daycare, alert them of the situation and her current state. And lastly, ignore the bullshit on social media. The people that matter will know the truth.
RESPONSE B: File for emergency custody at the court house first thing on Monday. Are you on the birth certificate? Does she have custody? Edit: Saw your comment below. Would this normally be your weekend?
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
A | POST: [MI] My ex and I came to an agreement for me to keep my son for a week, she disappeared for 3 weeks, and is now saying I kidnapped him. I have had my son since the 20th of January. BM was supposed to pick him up the 27th of January, she did not pick him up. I texted her and she said “I’ll be back eventually”. During her time away she was doing hardcore drugs, driving reckless, and partying(she posted these things online). She showed up at my door yesterday, no car, barely any clothes, and obviously still high on something, wanting our son. I refused to give him to her and called her parents to take her home. Today she is now posting that I kidnapped our son, she didn’t know where he was, and that I’m abusing him. Absolutely none of this is true, she has not even tried to come get him today. I have cameras in front of my house and can prove that. What I have: 1. Screenshots of every text message between me and my ex agreeing to me having him for a week, her saying she’d be back eventually, and my “where are yous?” during these 3 weeks, 2. Phone call recordings of me and her parents talking about her showing up to my house high 3. Screen recordings of her doing drugs, reckless driving, etc 4. The video of her showing up to my house high How do I proceed from here? I am worried that she will call the police and this will destroy my career. I am already getting hate mail.
RESPONSE A: A month ago you posted how the mother is posting on social media that she spends the child support on herself. You stated he has no toys, no new clothes etc. Now she's abandoned him and will "be back eventually". Stop waiting to do something! You can get another career, you can't replace your child. Call CPS, do it today! Tomorrow get a lawyer. This child needs you.
RESPONSE B: Looks like you about to get full custody :)
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
A | POST: , she disappeared for 3 weeks, and is now saying I kidnapped him. I have had my son since the 20th of January. BM was supposed to pick him up the 27th of January, she did not pick him up. I texted her and she said “I’ll be back eventually”. During her time away she was doing hardcore drugs, driving reckless, and partying(she posted these things online). She showed up at my door yesterday, no car, barely any clothes, and obviously still high on something, wanting our son. I refused to give him to her and called her parents to take her home. Today she is now posting that I kidnapped our son, she didn’t know where he was, and that I’m abusing him. Absolutely none of this is true, she has not even tried to come get him today. I have cameras in front of my house and can prove that. What I have: 1. Screenshots of every text message between me and my ex agreeing to me having him for a week, her saying she’d be back eventually, and my “where are yous?” during these 3 weeks, 2. Phone call recordings of me and her parents talking about her showing up to my house high 3. Screen recordings of her doing drugs, reckless driving, etc 4. The video of her showing up to my house high How do I proceed from here? I am worried that she will call the police and this will destroy my career. I am already getting hate mail.
RESPONSE A: I'm in a family of CPS workers. They see this all the time. There might be a court battle but in the end you will get full custody of this child. Which also means she will be required to pay you child support. What you need to do is get a lawyer that helps you. If she shows up high or drunk, call the police. If she abandons the child with you again, call both the police and CPS to get it documented. I'm talking immediately, *at most* you wait one hour after the mutually agreed pick-up time. Not days. You want her abandonment documented and you want it formally decided that you get to take care of the child in the meantime.
RESPONSE B: Looks like you about to get full custody :)
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
A | POST: I don't care; I was so utterly horrified by this. I don't know what this man's name is. It happened about a year ago apparently. I have really specific information- she used his phone to take pictures of the kid unbeknownst to him. He already had a criminal record but it wasn't for anything awful like this. What do I do? Also, I'm not quite sure if it happened in Florida or if this was before she moved here.
RESPONSE A: I'm in AA, 2.5 years sober. You are a drunk talking to another drunk. You are not a therapist or a priest. You 1000000000% are not obligated to keep this confidential. You keep things confidential to a point - accusing someone of being a child molester is past that point. Also, child molesters have the WORST of the ABSOLUTE WORST treatment in prison, both from other inmates or staff. The excuse "my ex framed me" is a pretty typical justification, which means it is not believed. Also to the person who said you would not be allowed to sponsor.. that's complete bullshit. Once again, there's a line to AA confidentiality.. i can't think of ANYONE in my (very big) circle/network of AA friends who would look down upon you/think badly of you, and also.. AA cannot decide who can and cannot sponsor. You could have 30 years of continuous sobriety and I had 10 minutes and I could still sponsor you. Also, what the everliving fuck is she going to do when she gets to step 9? "Made a direct amends to such people wherever possible" THIS IS POSSIBLE FOR HER AND SHE SAID SHE'S NOT GOING TO DO IT. If you get shit in your homegroup/local AA meetings, fucking sprint to find a new one.
RESPONSE B: > she used his phone to take pictures of the kid unbeknownst to him. Wait, what? So *she* has admitted to producing child pornography as well as falsifying an accusation?
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
B | POST: might ostracize me from the fellowship, but I don't care; I was so utterly horrified by this. I don't know what this man's name is. It happened about a year ago apparently. I have really specific information- she used his phone to take pictures of the kid unbeknownst to him. He already had a criminal record but it wasn't for anything awful like this. What do I do? Also, I'm not quite sure if it happened in Florida or if this was before she moved here.
RESPONSE A: Yes, write it down, date, times, names. Our former FBI director makes a good case on the importance of keeping notes. It does carry weight.
RESPONSE B: I'm in AA, 2.5 years sober. You are a drunk talking to another drunk. You are not a therapist or a priest. You 1000000000% are not obligated to keep this confidential. You keep things confidential to a point - accusing someone of being a child molester is past that point. Also, child molesters have the WORST of the ABSOLUTE WORST treatment in prison, both from other inmates or staff. The excuse "my ex framed me" is a pretty typical justification, which means it is not believed. Also to the person who said you would not be allowed to sponsor.. that's complete bullshit. Once again, there's a line to AA confidentiality.. i can't think of ANYONE in my (very big) circle/network of AA friends who would look down upon you/think badly of you, and also.. AA cannot decide who can and cannot sponsor. You could have 30 years of continuous sobriety and I had 10 minutes and I could still sponsor you. Also, what the everliving fuck is she going to do when she gets to step 9? "Made a direct amends to such people wherever possible" THIS IS POSSIBLE FOR HER AND SHE SAID SHE'S NOT GOING TO DO IT. If you get shit in your homegroup/local AA meetings, fucking sprint to find a new one.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
B | POST: her ex so good that she sent him to prison over some bullshit lie, and she laughed and agreed! So basically I tricked her into admitting it in front of a second witness. What do I do now with this information? I'm assuming that I'm not obligated to keep this confidential. This might ostracize me from the fellowship, but I don't care; I was so utterly horrified by this. I don't know what this man's name is. It happened about a year ago apparently. I have really specific information- she used his phone to take pictures of the kid unbeknownst to him. He already had a criminal record but it wasn't for anything awful like this. What do I do? Also, I'm not quite sure if it happened in Florida or if this was before she moved here.
RESPONSE A: AA will likely no longer allow you to sponsor after this, they take the confidentiality part pretty seriously. That said, AA has no legal protection of actual confidentiality like client-attorney privilege. You think this is bad? The Innocence Project had a case where murders occurred and the police thought there were multiple murderers. In fact, there was only one. The murderer made a plea deal to get life in prison instead of the death penalty in exchange for testifying against the innocent one. The innocent one was subsequently convicted. The murderer had bragged about doing this to his lawyer, and only his lawyer. Because of client-attorney privilege there was nothing the lawyer could do. Luckily, his client died after a decade, and notified the Innocence Project. The innocent was released after 13 years on death row. You have no legal requirement to go down this path. Don't let the eventual AA rejection get to you, this is the righteous course of action to get that evidence. There may enough evidence he is still convicted or not enough to even overturn the verdict. There is nothing you can do about that.
RESPONSE B: > she used his phone to take pictures of the kid unbeknownst to him. Wait, what? So *she* has admitted to producing child pornography as well as falsifying an accusation?
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
B | POST: (FL) I sponsor in Alcoholics Anonymous and heard a fifth-step inventory today where a woman told me that she sent her ex-boyfriend to prison by lying and saying that he molested her child. I clearly asked her if she was going to rectify this situation as part of her recovery and she basically said No, that he deserved it; that she was including this so that she didn't have to feel guilty about it. She didn't feel guilty, she was quite smug. I played along and asked her a few questions about the situation. Poor bastard. Later this evening we were both outside of a meeting and talking with a mutual friend. I started to complain about my ex-boyfriend, saying what a jerk he was. Then I teasingly said that she had gotten back at her ex so good that she sent him to prison over some bullshit lie, and she laughed and agreed! So basically I tricked her into admitting it in front of a second witness. What do I do now with this information? I'm assuming that I'm not obligated to keep this confidential. This might ostracize me from the fellowship, but I don't care; I was so utterly horrified by this. I don't know what this man's name is. It happened about a year ago apparently. I have really specific information- she used his phone to take pictures of the kid unbeknownst to him. He already had a criminal record but it wasn't for anything awful like this. What do I do? Also, I'm not quite sure if it happened in Florida or if this was before she moved here.
RESPONSE A: Yes, write it down, date, times, names. Our former FBI director makes a good case on the importance of keeping notes. It does carry weight.
RESPONSE B: > she used his phone to take pictures of the kid unbeknownst to him. Wait, what? So *she* has admitted to producing child pornography as well as falsifying an accusation?
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
B | POST: outrageous amount of money payed to a lawyer and a private investigator, I'm free and clear of any criminal charges and have primary physical custody of my 6 year old autistic daughter. Her mom gets her alternating weekends and holidays. Keeping it short, our agreement states that my ex needs to pay for half of our daughter's medical expenses and that our daughter is to have absolutely no contact whatsoever with her latest boyfriend. My ex lies to me and says that she isn't seeing him, even going so far as fabricating another man's name to throw me off. I've hired a PI again who got evidence that the man was with my ex while she had our daughter for the weekend, and I've got a print off of the guys facebook page showing the two of them together and in a relationship and that he lives there. Thats on top of the fact that she pays almost nothing regarding her medical bills (I haven't seen any money in two months). I've just dropped my daughter off to be with her mom for Christmas for five days. This is the first I've been away. I'm nauseated that I'm dropping her off to spend time with the this scum-bag degenerate druggy and my sociopath ex. How to I get through this, reddit. I feel prepared to go back to family court to address these issues, I can't live with myself knowing I stood by and watched the worst human I've ever met become a permanent fixture in my daughter's life. This is VA, by the way. --- **tl;dr**: Ex-wife lives with scumbag who she legally shouldn't be with, and is now getting common daughter for christmas.
RESPONSE A: Unless the court order says he cannot be around her, or he is a registered sex offender then legally he can be around her. If you have evidence that he abused your child then you can file to modify the court order or possibly a restraining order.
RESPONSE B: Can you file to terminate her visitation rights? Or at least make it supervised? EDIT -- not sure why I am being downvoted. This is a valid step he can take.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
B | POST: [California] My girlfriend's ex sending out her nudes (of when she was underage) to her parents and harasses her, but now lives out of state, can anything be done? The title pretty much sums it up, I'm just curious if any legal action can be taken against this guy. He is apparently homeless and just mooches off of friends and will jump from state to state. She says theres nothing the police can do about him but I'm getting really sick of this constant harassment and wonder if there is any way to take legal action against this guy? He just recently sent her underage nudes to her mom which would be enough proof of the child pornography part, but he has constantly harassed her for the past two years since they have broken up. Any help or advice would be greatly appreciated, thank you.
RESPONSE A: Everyone needs to go to the police together and file a police report. You may also want to contact the police in the state that he is currently in, if you know.
RESPONSE B: Wait, did you say he's distributing child pornography across state lines?
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
B | POST: Dallas, TX - I am living with a now ex girlfriend (off the lease), can she legally take all my belongings and throw them away because they are in her apartment? She assaulted me last night, and was threatening to hurt herself, so I called the cops. They told me to find another place to stay, so I did. They arrested her, and now her dad is driving down here, and says that if I don't have all my things out by 5 pm, he's going to throw them in the dumpster. Doesn't sound legal to me. What statutes, precedents, etc can I hold up printed copies of and (hopefully) convince him not to do that? Or should I just pack as much as I can and gtfo
RESPONSE A: How long were you living in the home before this all happened?
RESPONSE B: You don't have to leave the apartment until a court orders you to. In fact, if she assaulted you, there's an excellent chance that one of her bail conditions is going to be that she has to stay away from you and/or the apartment. If you don't want to leave, simply go home. It's your home, you live there, and until you leave voluntarily or are evicted by a court, it will remain your home. You do not have to let her father inside at all, and if he shows up without his daughter, you're free to call the police if he refuses to leave. If your ex has been bailed out of jail, call whatever jail/court she's dealing with and find out if a restraining order is in place and if that means she can't come home. Calling the arresting officer might get results for you too.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
B | POST: Dallas, TX - I am living with a now ex girlfriend (off the lease), can she legally take all my belongings and throw them away because they are in her apartment? She assaulted me last night, and was threatening to hurt herself, so I called the cops. They told me to find another place to stay, so I did. They arrested her, and now her dad is driving down here, and says that if I don't have all my things out by 5 pm, he's going to throw them in the dumpster. Doesn't sound legal to me. What statutes, precedents, etc can I hold up printed copies of and (hopefully) convince him not to do that? Or should I just pack as much as I can and gtfo
RESPONSE A: How long were you living in the home before this all happened?
RESPONSE B: That'd be, hands down, theft of property. However, that doesn't stop a vengeful dad from throwing your stuff away. Dad's are crazy sometimes. I figure, you're legally safe, but is it worth all the effort you'll have to go through if they do decide to break the law? Edit: You're living with your ex, so I'm assuming your relationship is relatively sound (minus the recent happenings), so maybe she can calm her dad down? Or is the "ex" as result of this happening?
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
A | POST: Dallas, TX - I am living with a now ex girlfriend (off the lease), can she legally take all my belongings and throw them away because they are in her apartment? She assaulted me last night, and was threatening to hurt herself, so I called the cops. They told me to find another place to stay, so I did. They arrested her, and now her dad is driving down here, and says that if I don't have all my things out by 5 pm, he's going to throw them in the dumpster. Doesn't sound legal to me. What statutes, precedents, etc can I hold up printed copies of and (hopefully) convince him not to do that? Or should I just pack as much as I can and gtfo
RESPONSE A: here are the numbers to the victim's services in dallas Victim Services – (for victims of homicide, sexual assault, aggravated assault, aggravated robberies, and traffic crimes). Pat Leal Keaton – Victim Services Coordinator –(Spanish Speaker) 214-671-3587 (Mon–Fri.) Krissi Boulom – Victim Advocate - 214-671-3588 - (Mon – Fri.) Sue Kelly – Victim Advocate - 214-671-3669 (Tues & Wed.) Family Violence Contact: (for victims of domestic/family violence) Sylvia Paige - Family Violence Counselor 214-671-4325 Petra Tamez – Family Violence Counselor – 214-671-4307 i would suggest starting with the family violence contact, but if you feel that you are not getting the right attention call the general crime contact (in my experience, male victims are NOT ignored by DV workers like reddit often suggests, however i cant speak to this particular agency). an advocate can help you with the next step, including a protection order that could possibly bar her from the residence (im not positive how it will work since she has the lease and i do not work in texas)
RESPONSE B: How long were you living in the home before this all happened?
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
B | POST: Can i (a minor 17) press charges on my moms abusive boyfriend if my mom refuses to? Earlier tonight i was lying on my couch and i head my mom scream from her room so i ran in to see her boyfriend on top of her with his hand around her neck. He got off and left as soon as i came in. i let him walk away while i talked to my mom to figure out exactly what happened and she told me that he got pissed after she refused to let him look at her phone i told her she needed to call the police but she said she wouldnt becuase 1. She didnt want my sibling to get involved and 2. She didnt want him getting in trouble. This isnt the first time this has happend ive had to detain him before but was able to do so fairly easily because im alot stronger than he is however this time he came back in from the house with a glock and cocked it on his way to his room while everyone else was eating dinner for all my strength im no match for a gun and im genuinely scared for the first time since i was a small child i told my mom i wouldnt do anything at least until Tomorrow when my younger sibling leave to go visit our biological father but that was before the gun should i disregard our agreement and call the police? And can they even do anything about it if i did call them?
RESPONSE A: You can always keep a record (photos videos audio depending on your states consent laws) and always report to the police as another poster said now that there is a firearm on the property the police will take it more seriously. You can also contact domestic abuse lines or outreach in your area they can help you as well and reach out to CPS or to a children's domestic abuse line as well. Edit Not a lawyer
RESPONSE B: If you haven't called the police yet, do it now. This isn't a legal advice situation, this is a "you, your sibling, and your mother are in danger of being murdered" situation. Full stop. Call CPS as well
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
B | POST: Can i (a minor 17) press charges on my moms abusive boyfriend if my mom refuses to? Earlier tonight i was lying on my couch and i head my mom scream from her room so i ran in to see her boyfriend on top of her with his hand around her neck. He got off and left as soon as i came in. i let him walk away while i talked to my mom to figure out exactly what happened and she told me that he got pissed after she refused to let him look at her phone i told her she needed to call the police but she said she wouldnt becuase 1. She didnt want my sibling to get involved and 2. She didnt want him getting in trouble. This isnt the first time this has happend ive had to detain him before but was able to do so fairly easily because im alot stronger than he is however this time he came back in from the house with a glock and cocked it on his way to his room while everyone else was eating dinner for all my strength im no match for a gun and im genuinely scared for the first time since i was a small child i told my mom i wouldnt do anything at least until Tomorrow when my younger sibling leave to go visit our biological father but that was before the gun should i disregard our agreement and call the police? And can they even do anything about it if i did call them?
RESPONSE A: Call the police ASAP. Tell them you witnessed the boyfriend showing aggressive behavior, and that you saw him lay hands on your mom. And most importantly, tell them he just took out a gun. Keep your brother in a separate room, or with a neighbor, just away from the boyfriend when you do this. When you make the call, tell them your mom might lie for him.
RESPONSE B: If you haven't called the police yet, do it now. This isn't a legal advice situation, this is a "you, your sibling, and your mother are in danger of being murdered" situation. Full stop. Call CPS as well
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
B | POST: My parents kicked me out but used my info for rental assistance? Is this fraud? Hi im. A 22 year old male. My mom had kicked me out at the beginning of 2022 and I was told to live with my dad. I tried to apply for rental assistance and was told I was supposed to be at my moms address from our states rental assistance program. Since then I still haven’t lived there and I know that at least from January to June my information was being used. Is this considered fraud? And if I wanted to take legal action how could I?
RESPONSE A: Yes. That is blatant fraud. If you want to take legal action, have a chat with a lawyer, many do free consultations, and they will tell you every step that needs to be taken. Some lawyers even do flat rates for stuff that can be taken care of easily.
RESPONSE B: You can also call the state housing dept that provides the assistance and report it, they will also go after people who fraudulently claim benefits.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
B | POST: My parents kicked me out but used my info for rental assistance? Is this fraud? Hi im. A 22 year old male. My mom had kicked me out at the beginning of 2022 and I was told to live with my dad. I tried to apply for rental assistance and was told I was supposed to be at my moms address from our states rental assistance program. Since then I still haven’t lived there and I know that at least from January to June my information was being used. Is this considered fraud? And if I wanted to take legal action how could I?
RESPONSE A: You would not take any action. The state is the injured party in this case.
RESPONSE B: I am not a lawyer but I work for my local housing authority. Depending on what type of rental assistance she is on, you should seek out the office that is supplying her with the assistance. Give them her name, your name, and let them know you do not live there and need to be removed from her case. She should have a case worker or case manager of some sort.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
A | POST: My parents kicked me out but used my info for rental assistance? Is this fraud? Hi im. A 22 year old male. My mom had kicked me out at the beginning of 2022 and I was told to live with my dad. I tried to apply for rental assistance and was told I was supposed to be at my moms address from our states rental assistance program. Since then I still haven’t lived there and I know that at least from January to June my information was being used. Is this considered fraud? And if I wanted to take legal action how could I?
RESPONSE A: I am not a lawyer but I work for my local housing authority. Depending on what type of rental assistance she is on, you should seek out the office that is supplying her with the assistance. Give them her name, your name, and let them know you do not live there and need to be removed from her case. She should have a case worker or case manager of some sort.
RESPONSE B: Not a lawyer, definitely fraud but you wouldn’t gain much if anything by taking legal action. You can report it and have the government take action and get back what you missed out on which may or may not be worth the trouble. I would call her and let her know to stop so you can appropriately get it before taking legal action, just me though.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
B | POST: My parents kicked me out but used my info for rental assistance? Is this fraud? Hi im. A 22 year old male. My mom had kicked me out at the beginning of 2022 and I was told to live with my dad. I tried to apply for rental assistance and was told I was supposed to be at my moms address from our states rental assistance program. Since then I still haven’t lived there and I know that at least from January to June my information was being used. Is this considered fraud? And if I wanted to take legal action how could I?
RESPONSE A: You would not take any action. The state is the injured party in this case.
RESPONSE B: It’s fraud but not fraud against you. Just keep pressing the issue with the government agency you are trying to get rental assistance from. They need to take you off her claim so you can put one in for yourself. It’s their call if they want to pursue charges against your mother.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
A | POST: My parents kicked me out but used my info for rental assistance? Is this fraud? Hi im. A 22 year old male. My mom had kicked me out at the beginning of 2022 and I was told to live with my dad. I tried to apply for rental assistance and was told I was supposed to be at my moms address from our states rental assistance program. Since then I still haven’t lived there and I know that at least from January to June my information was being used. Is this considered fraud? And if I wanted to take legal action how could I?
RESPONSE A: It’s fraud but not fraud against you. Just keep pressing the issue with the government agency you are trying to get rental assistance from. They need to take you off her claim so you can put one in for yourself. It’s their call if they want to pursue charges against your mother.
RESPONSE B: Not a lawyer, definitely fraud but you wouldn’t gain much if anything by taking legal action. You can report it and have the government take action and get back what you missed out on which may or may not be worth the trouble. I would call her and let her know to stop so you can appropriately get it before taking legal action, just me though.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
B | POST: NOT what they did. I called the school they posted and she isn't going there. They are very connected to the church/suburban town community and I think it would threaten them to have their image splattered with the truth. I would completely disown them now if it wouldn't completely destroy my chances of getting her out. I am at a loss. Please help me. tl;dr: My parents lied to me and took money claiming it was for an illness only to turn around and use it to send my sister to a camp because she came out. They are ignoring my calls. I don't have any legal grounds (i think) and I do not know how to convince them to let her out.
RESPONSE A: Unfortunately, parents of children under age 18 have almost unlimited power over their children, outside of physical or emotional abuse. Although all decent, educated people recognize that gay conversion therapy is (a) complete bullshit and (b) abusive, you cannot be certain that Florida CPS will see it that way. Nevertheless I would immediately call CPS and report what you know. Make sure you include the fact that you believe parents lied to sister's school and on Facebook about where she went. Be prepared to be frustrated by CPS. They may be professional and do their job. They may be fellow members of the Christian Taliban and think your parents did nothing wrong. You could consider consulting a FL family law attorney to see if there is any chance you could get a judge to order your sister removed from the facility. I I would look for a GLBTQ friendly lawyer. You could ask the same attorney if you have any legal means to force your parents to remove her from the pray away the gay camp. On another front I would contact local LGBTQ organizations to see if they can help. I hope for the best for you and your sister.
RESPONSE B: You can and should sue your parents, or have a lawyer send a demand letter. You cannot commit the crime of extortion in Florida in so doing, however. A lawyer will advise you on how to structure an appropriate settlement that may result in your sister coming to live with you for the remainder of her minority. Do not try to DIY this, or you could end up charged with a crime.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
A | POST: it wouldn't completely destroy my chances of getting her out. I am at a loss. Please help me. tl;dr: My parents lied to me and took money claiming it was for an illness only to turn around and use it to send my sister to a camp because she came out. They are ignoring my calls. I don't have any legal grounds (i think) and I do not know how to convince them to let her out.
RESPONSE A: So, in addition to everyone else: * Definitely pursue getting a lawyer to see if you can yank back the $20,000 conditional gift. * Check out this page and see if your parents live in a locality that has banned conversion therapy. While Florida has not, some localities have, and therefore they may still have committed a crime. * Bills have been proposed in FL to ban conversion therapy within the state. Contact her (and your) state rep and senator and agitate for the ban. If they are for the ban, they may know of the therapy camps in FL, which you can narrow down by affiliation with your parent's church/denomination.
RESPONSE B: Unfortunately, parents of children under age 18 have almost unlimited power over their children, outside of physical or emotional abuse. Although all decent, educated people recognize that gay conversion therapy is (a) complete bullshit and (b) abusive, you cannot be certain that Florida CPS will see it that way. Nevertheless I would immediately call CPS and report what you know. Make sure you include the fact that you believe parents lied to sister's school and on Facebook about where she went. Be prepared to be frustrated by CPS. They may be professional and do their job. They may be fellow members of the Christian Taliban and think your parents did nothing wrong. You could consider consulting a FL family law attorney to see if there is any chance you could get a judge to order your sister removed from the facility. I I would look for a GLBTQ friendly lawyer. You could ask the same attorney if you have any legal means to force your parents to remove her from the pray away the gay camp. On another front I would contact local LGBTQ organizations to see if they can help. I hope for the best for you and your sister.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
A | POST: places. I don't even know if she is in the US anymore. People die and get brainwashed at these places. I feel so guilty for giving them the ability to do this. I don't know the name of the camp, and I did technically give them the money. My only recourse at this point is to go tell everyone in their neighborhood what they did. I saw a facebook post they made about sending my sister to a snooty christian boarding school and that is NOT what they did. I called the school they posted and she isn't going there. They are very connected to the church/suburban town community and I think it would threaten them to have their image splattered with the truth. I would completely disown them now if it wouldn't completely destroy my chances of getting her out. I am at a loss. Please help me. tl;dr: My parents lied to me and took money claiming it was for an illness only to turn around and use it to send my sister to a camp because she came out. They are ignoring my calls. I don't have any legal grounds (i think) and I do not know how to convince them to let her out.
RESPONSE A: So, in addition to everyone else: * Definitely pursue getting a lawyer to see if you can yank back the $20,000 conditional gift. * Check out this page and see if your parents live in a locality that has banned conversion therapy. While Florida has not, some localities have, and therefore they may still have committed a crime. * Bills have been proposed in FL to ban conversion therapy within the state. Contact her (and your) state rep and senator and agitate for the ban. If they are for the ban, they may know of the therapy camps in FL, which you can narrow down by affiliation with your parent's church/denomination.
RESPONSE B: Sue them. Also talk to a lawyer about theft by deception. Probably won't stick but they don't know that, and it should scare your parents to have the possibility of criminal charges. Them being scared of your legal action means more chance of getting what you want, your sister removed. Good luck
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
B | POST: and they ignore almost all of my calls. He intentionally didn't tell me the name of the facility or camp, but I've done reading and these are almost always dangerous places. I don't even know if she is in the US anymore. People die and get brainwashed at these places. I feel so guilty for giving them the ability to do this. I don't know the name of the camp, and I did technically give them the money. My only recourse at this point is to go tell everyone in their neighborhood what they did. I saw a facebook post they made about sending my sister to a snooty christian boarding school and that is NOT what they did. I called the school they posted and she isn't going there. They are very connected to the church/suburban town community and I think it would threaten them to have their image splattered with the truth. I would completely disown them now if it wouldn't completely destroy my chances of getting her out. I am at a loss. Please help me. tl;dr: My parents lied to me and took money claiming it was for an illness only to turn around and use it to send my sister to a camp because she came out. They are ignoring my calls. I don't have any legal grounds (i think) and I do not know how to convince them to let her out.
RESPONSE A: At the very least, you need to sue your parents. When you sister is in an ok position, you need to cut contact with them.
RESPONSE B: So, in addition to everyone else: * Definitely pursue getting a lawyer to see if you can yank back the $20,000 conditional gift. * Check out this page and see if your parents live in a locality that has banned conversion therapy. While Florida has not, some localities have, and therefore they may still have committed a crime. * Bills have been proposed in FL to ban conversion therapy within the state. Contact her (and your) state rep and senator and agitate for the ban. If they are for the ban, they may know of the therapy camps in FL, which you can narrow down by affiliation with your parent's church/denomination.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
B | POST: I came out to my parents as Lesbian and they kicked me out. I’m 17, don’t have a home, and they’re threatening to keep my savings and stuff, too. What can I do? Basically in the title. I’m 17, living in Utah, US. I’m living at a friend’s right now but they don’t really have room for me, I’m staying on their couch and it won’t work long term. Is it even legal for my parents to kick me out as a minor? Like I just turned 17, I can’t do anything for myself legally (i.e. get an apartment) for a year. Do I have any grounds on my savings or my stuff?
RESPONSE A: They're legally required to look after you until you are 18 and can't kick you out. You can contact the police. Afterwards you're going to have to make preparations for when you turn 18. You should start collecting documents and make moves towards securing your money. At the moment your parents could drain your bank account if they feel like it and once you're 18 you will have to take steps to remove their access to it because it's not automatic.
RESPONSE B: OP in your last post to /r/legaladvice you state you’re 19. In this post you say you just turned 17. Your real age is important in regards to your options. Either way you were a tenant and they cannot kick you out without legally evicting you. If you are indeed a minor they can’t just kick you out, they have a legal obligation to provide for you until you are 18 and in some states until you graduate high school if you turn 18 before then.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
A | POST: I came out to my parents as Lesbian and they kicked me out. I’m 17, don’t have a home, and they’re threatening to keep my savings and stuff, too. What can I do? Basically in the title. I’m 17, living in Utah, US. I’m living at a friend’s right now but they don’t really have room for me, I’m staying on their couch and it won’t work long term. Is it even legal for my parents to kick me out as a minor? Like I just turned 17, I can’t do anything for myself legally (i.e. get an apartment) for a year. Do I have any grounds on my savings or my stuff?
RESPONSE A: OP in your last post to /r/legaladvice you state you’re 19. In this post you say you just turned 17. Your real age is important in regards to your options. Either way you were a tenant and they cannot kick you out without legally evicting you. If you are indeed a minor they can’t just kick you out, they have a legal obligation to provide for you until you are 18 and in some states until you graduate high school if you turn 18 before then.
RESPONSE B: Call CPS, it is illegal for parents to just stop taking care of their kids. You can apply for emancipation if you want, which will allow to separate from your parents and act as an independent adult. That being said, the process can be quite slow, and since you're going to be a legal adult in less than a year anyway, it may not be worth it to start the process.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
B | POST: I came out to my parents as Lesbian and they kicked me out. I’m 17, don’t have a home, and they’re threatening to keep my savings and stuff, too. What can I do? Basically in the title. I’m 17, living in Utah, US. I’m living at a friend’s right now but they don’t really have room for me, I’m staying on their couch and it won’t work long term. Is it even legal for my parents to kick me out as a minor? Like I just turned 17, I can’t do anything for myself legally (i.e. get an apartment) for a year. Do I have any grounds on my savings or my stuff?
RESPONSE A: Call CPS, it is illegal for parents to just stop taking care of their kids. You can apply for emancipation if you want, which will allow to separate from your parents and act as an independent adult. That being said, the process can be quite slow, and since you're going to be a legal adult in less than a year anyway, it may not be worth it to start the process.
RESPONSE B: http://encircletogether.org/ That links to a LGBTQ Youth house in Provo, if you can get there. They are very helpful for teensin your situation. Also reach out to your school counselor or a teacher, they can help get the CPS thing rolling.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
A | POST: I came out to my parents as Lesbian and they kicked me out. I’m 17, don’t have a home, and they’re threatening to keep my savings and stuff, too. What can I do? Basically in the title. I’m 17, living in Utah, US. I’m living at a friend’s right now but they don’t really have room for me, I’m staying on their couch and it won’t work long term. Is it even legal for my parents to kick me out as a minor? Like I just turned 17, I can’t do anything for myself legally (i.e. get an apartment) for a year. Do I have any grounds on my savings or my stuff?
RESPONSE A: Call the police/CPS and report to them they kicked you out. Even if you don’t want to go back there doing this stops them from reporting you as a runaway and potentially getting a criminal record. File this report away from your parents house. Then request an escort to get your belongings.
RESPONSE B: Call CPS, it is illegal for parents to just stop taking care of their kids. You can apply for emancipation if you want, which will allow to separate from your parents and act as an independent adult. That being said, the process can be quite slow, and since you're going to be a legal adult in less than a year anyway, it may not be worth it to start the process.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
B | POST: year but they dont know when full salaries will come back. I dont trust a word they say and I'm applying to new jobs. But in the meantime I'm pissed about how much work I have to do now. I want to just decline the work and say I'm too busy. I don't care if they fire me; but I don't want to quit and lose out on unemployment. Thanks in advance for any/all advice!
RESPONSE A: Declining work cuts pretty close to the 'insubordination' line where they could fire you for cause which could cause unemployment to be denied. If this is going to be your path...document, document, document. Send emails detailing your workload and inability to handle the volume before declining new work. With unemployment covering even less than your 25% reduced salary and new jobs not quite hiring at the previous levels, you could also try another strategy prior to lighting that bridge on fire: "While I am aware of the challenges to the business and reasons for the reduction, I likewise have financial obligations that aren't being met with this reduction, are there other tasks I can cover which can bring me to my previous level of compensation" It certainly is worth a shot, and if successful will put you in a better position coming out of this thing (new responsibilities typically = more pay/raises...eventually) Meanwhile, keep up the job search.
RESPONSE B: > What kind of recourse do I have to decline more work being put on my plate? No legal recourse. You can either accept or reject. They can either continue to employ or to fire. If firing for insubordination (in this case refusing to do assigned tasks) they can fight UI claim and would likely win. UI is also tiny compared to your salary, at least after late July. You're absolutely not the only one. Cuts of 30%-35% and increased workload is pretty common in the last two months. Also keep in mind that your company by making cuts may last longer than companies that pay more now but are planning on an earlier economic recovery. There's a lot of crystal ball going on here... would you rather have $10,000 a month for 6 months then UI, or $7,500 a month for 18 months, then $10,000 a month, etc.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
A | POST: 6 weeks ago, my Employer cut my pay by 25% (due to "COVID19") until the foreseeable future. I'm a full time, salaried employee in Michigan. But as of this week I have more work to do than ever. What kind of recourse do I have to decline more work being put on my plate? My boss fed me some BS about how the company owes me a raise and that'll happen this year but they dont know when full salaries will come back. I dont trust a word they say and I'm applying to new jobs. But in the meantime I'm pissed about how much work I have to do now. I want to just decline the work and say I'm too busy. I don't care if they fire me; but I don't want to quit and lose out on unemployment. Thanks in advance for any/all advice!
RESPONSE A: As others have suggested: Declining the additional work could get you justifiably fired. UI is 50/50 in this climate. If you're able to collect, in the short term you'll receive better than typical benefits - but once those dry up you'll be looking for a new job in what could be the worst job market in our lifetime. In the big picture: Don't take it personally. Yes, there are bad employers out there. How was this job and management prior to covid? (And really, be honest in that evaluation). These are really unusual times. Very very few industries are unaffected, and the middle-ground companies (those who have been impacted, but not so much that they have to slash their entire payroll at once via mass layoffs) are walking a very fine line. Things need to get done, accounts receivables has probably extended all their terms from N30 to N120 or more, and the company is doing everything possible to survive. It's going to be rough out there for a while. Be caution in your expectations to replace this job with another at better (or equal!) pay right now.
RESPONSE B: Legal recourse? None.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
B | POST: don't care if they fire me; but I don't want to quit and lose out on unemployment. Thanks in advance for any/all advice!
RESPONSE A: Declining work cuts pretty close to the 'insubordination' line where they could fire you for cause which could cause unemployment to be denied. If this is going to be your path...document, document, document. Send emails detailing your workload and inability to handle the volume before declining new work. With unemployment covering even less than your 25% reduced salary and new jobs not quite hiring at the previous levels, you could also try another strategy prior to lighting that bridge on fire: "While I am aware of the challenges to the business and reasons for the reduction, I likewise have financial obligations that aren't being met with this reduction, are there other tasks I can cover which can bring me to my previous level of compensation" It certainly is worth a shot, and if successful will put you in a better position coming out of this thing (new responsibilities typically = more pay/raises...eventually) Meanwhile, keep up the job search.
RESPONSE B: As others have suggested: Declining the additional work could get you justifiably fired. UI is 50/50 in this climate. If you're able to collect, in the short term you'll receive better than typical benefits - but once those dry up you'll be looking for a new job in what could be the worst job market in our lifetime. In the big picture: Don't take it personally. Yes, there are bad employers out there. How was this job and management prior to covid? (And really, be honest in that evaluation). These are really unusual times. Very very few industries are unaffected, and the middle-ground companies (those who have been impacted, but not so much that they have to slash their entire payroll at once via mass layoffs) are walking a very fine line. Things need to get done, accounts receivables has probably extended all their terms from N30 to N120 or more, and the company is doing everything possible to survive. It's going to be rough out there for a while. Be caution in your expectations to replace this job with another at better (or equal!) pay right now.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
A | POST: I don't want to quit and lose out on unemployment. Thanks in advance for any/all advice!
RESPONSE A: I'm going to point out here that this isn't *necessarily* unreasonable, if your work has increased due to other people being laid off or the reduced pay wasn't because of less work but rather concern about reduced income for the business (e.g., clients who aren't going to be able to pay their bill or will pay net 90 instead of net 30). A lot of people are getting pay cuts right now. However, assuming that it IS unreasonable, I think your best bet is to push back in a professional way, the same way you might push back on being overloaded if you hadn't just gotten a pay cut: "Boss, I'm currently getting more work than I'm able to get through during the week. Can we talk about how to prioritize this so that the most important stuff is getting done?" or "Boss, I'm getting overloaded and I won't be able to get to everything this week. Is there a way to shift some of this to X person? (use this one especially if you know if there are workers who are still getting paid but who have less to do.)
RESPONSE B: Declining work cuts pretty close to the 'insubordination' line where they could fire you for cause which could cause unemployment to be denied. If this is going to be your path...document, document, document. Send emails detailing your workload and inability to handle the volume before declining new work. With unemployment covering even less than your 25% reduced salary and new jobs not quite hiring at the previous levels, you could also try another strategy prior to lighting that bridge on fire: "While I am aware of the challenges to the business and reasons for the reduction, I likewise have financial obligations that aren't being met with this reduction, are there other tasks I can cover which can bring me to my previous level of compensation" It certainly is worth a shot, and if successful will put you in a better position coming out of this thing (new responsibilities typically = more pay/raises...eventually) Meanwhile, keep up the job search.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
B | POST: 6 weeks ago, my Employer cut my pay by 25% (due to "COVID19") until the foreseeable future. I'm a full time, salaried employee in Michigan. But as of this week I have more work to do than ever. What kind of recourse do I have to decline more work being put on my plate? My boss fed me some BS about how the company owes me a raise and that'll happen this year but they dont know when full salaries will come back. I dont trust a word they say and I'm applying to new jobs. But in the meantime I'm pissed about how much work I have to do now. I want to just decline the work and say I'm too busy. I don't care if they fire me; but I don't want to quit and lose out on unemployment. Thanks in advance for any/all advice!
RESPONSE A: Declining work cuts pretty close to the 'insubordination' line where they could fire you for cause which could cause unemployment to be denied. If this is going to be your path...document, document, document. Send emails detailing your workload and inability to handle the volume before declining new work. With unemployment covering even less than your 25% reduced salary and new jobs not quite hiring at the previous levels, you could also try another strategy prior to lighting that bridge on fire: "While I am aware of the challenges to the business and reasons for the reduction, I likewise have financial obligations that aren't being met with this reduction, are there other tasks I can cover which can bring me to my previous level of compensation" It certainly is worth a shot, and if successful will put you in a better position coming out of this thing (new responsibilities typically = more pay/raises...eventually) Meanwhile, keep up the job search.
RESPONSE B: Legal recourse? None.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
B | POST: [MT] My boss sexually harassed me. There are emails, he admitted it to the company and he settled my lawsuit. When he got fired I got fired too because they needed money (my pay) for his severance package. Was it legal?
RESPONSE A: I am not a lawyer But pretty sure this is shady as fuck talk to a lawyer.
RESPONSE B: You should consult with an attorney on this one. Legally, they can't terminate you in retaliation for making a sexual harassment complaint, but they may be able to terminate you for other legitimate reasons, and budget reasons could well be legitimate. A consultation with an attorney shouldn't be too expensive, and after giving them all of the pertinent information, they should be able to advise you on what action, if any, you should take based on the specific facts of your case. Also, definitely appeal your unemployment denial; being let go for budget reasons shouldn't disqualify you for unemployment, so either your employer is telling a different story about the reasons for letting you go or your unemployment office is one of those that automatically denies all requests the first time.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
A | POST: (Indiana) I was fired for refusing to sign an nda after being sexually assaulted at work. Was this legal? I was barred from calling the police after I was sexually assaulted at work. I was also told I had to sign an nda saying I could never call the police, testify in court or tell anyone else I was sexuallying assaulted or I would face a 6 figure penalty. I was told I would get a $4000 bonus. I wasn't given any time to decide. It had to be signed immediately. I wouldn't sign it so I was fired and escorted out by security. I did go to the police. My boss was arrested and charged with battery and sexual battery. Another manager and a security guard were both charged with obstruction of justice because they tried to delete the cctv. My boss, the other manager and the security guard weren't fired, they came back after getting bail. My question now is was it legal for them to fire me because I wouldn't sign the agreement or does at will employment cover them.
RESPONSE A: You need a good employment law attorney immediately.
RESPONSE B: Speak to an attorney. This is more complicated than "was it legal for them to fire me." And you can always report to the police.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
A | POST: (Indiana) I was fired for refusing to sign an nda after being sexually assaulted at work. Was this legal? I was barred from calling the police after I was sexually assaulted at work. I was also told I had to sign an nda saying I could never call the police, testify in court or tell anyone else I was sexuallying assaulted or I would face a 6 figure penalty. I was told I would get a $4000 bonus. I wasn't given any time to decide. It had to be signed immediately. I wouldn't sign it so I was fired and escorted out by security. I did go to the police. My boss was arrested and charged with battery and sexual battery. Another manager and a security guard were both charged with obstruction of justice because they tried to delete the cctv. My boss, the other manager and the security guard weren't fired, they came back after getting bail. My question now is was it legal for them to fire me because I wouldn't sign the agreement or does at will employment cover them.
RESPONSE A: You need a good employment law attorney immediately.
RESPONSE B: No, that was certainly an unlawful termination. You should consult an employment lawyer ASAP.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
A | POST: (Indiana) I was fired for refusing to sign an nda after being sexually assaulted at work. Was this legal? I was barred from calling the police after I was sexually assaulted at work. I was also told I had to sign an nda saying I could never call the police, testify in court or tell anyone else I was sexuallying assaulted or I would face a 6 figure penalty. I was told I would get a $4000 bonus. I wasn't given any time to decide. It had to be signed immediately. I wouldn't sign it so I was fired and escorted out by security. I did go to the police. My boss was arrested and charged with battery and sexual battery. Another manager and a security guard were both charged with obstruction of justice because they tried to delete the cctv. My boss, the other manager and the security guard weren't fired, they came back after getting bail. My question now is was it legal for them to fire me because I wouldn't sign the agreement or does at will employment cover them.
RESPONSE A: Your description of the aftermath is short and to the point, which is great. Write up a description just like it with a timeline of the actual incident to as well as any details you remember from the agreement they tried to have you sign. Call several attorneys in your state and give them the general rundown, see who bites. Use their response as an indicator of how much of a case you have, but don't sign paperwork with an attorney that you feel is steamrolling you. There are thousands in your state, it's possible you're going to make one of them a lot of money.
RESPONSE B: Speak to an attorney. This is more complicated than "was it legal for them to fire me." And you can always report to the police.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
B | POST: (Indiana) I was fired for refusing to sign an nda after being sexually assaulted at work. Was this legal? I was barred from calling the police after I was sexually assaulted at work. I was also told I had to sign an nda saying I could never call the police, testify in court or tell anyone else I was sexuallying assaulted or I would face a 6 figure penalty. I was told I would get a $4000 bonus. I wasn't given any time to decide. It had to be signed immediately. I wouldn't sign it so I was fired and escorted out by security. I did go to the police. My boss was arrested and charged with battery and sexual battery. Another manager and a security guard were both charged with obstruction of justice because they tried to delete the cctv. My boss, the other manager and the security guard weren't fired, they came back after getting bail. My question now is was it legal for them to fire me because I wouldn't sign the agreement or does at will employment cover them.
RESPONSE A: No, that was certainly an unlawful termination. You should consult an employment lawyer ASAP.
RESPONSE B: Your description of the aftermath is short and to the point, which is great. Write up a description just like it with a timeline of the actual incident to as well as any details you remember from the agreement they tried to have you sign. Call several attorneys in your state and give them the general rundown, see who bites. Use their response as an indicator of how much of a case you have, but don't sign paperwork with an attorney that you feel is steamrolling you. There are thousands in your state, it's possible you're going to make one of them a lot of money.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
B | POST: (Indiana) I was fired for refusing to sign an nda after being sexually assaulted at work. Was this legal? I was barred from calling the police after I was sexually assaulted at work. I was also told I had to sign an nda saying I could never call the police, testify in court or tell anyone else I was sexuallying assaulted or I would face a 6 figure penalty. I was told I would get a $4000 bonus. I wasn't given any time to decide. It had to be signed immediately. I wouldn't sign it so I was fired and escorted out by security. I did go to the police. My boss was arrested and charged with battery and sexual battery. Another manager and a security guard were both charged with obstruction of justice because they tried to delete the cctv. My boss, the other manager and the security guard weren't fired, they came back after getting bail. My question now is was it legal for them to fire me because I wouldn't sign the agreement or does at will employment cover them.
RESPONSE A: Speak to an attorney. This is more complicated than "was it legal for them to fire me." And you can always report to the police.
RESPONSE B: As everyone else said, employment attorney, now. For what it's worth though, while you're correct in not signing, the NDA would likely be unenforceable if you had signed it. NDAs legally cannot be used to prevent you from reporting criminal activity, especially that in which you're the victim.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
A | POST: Stepfather was fired unexpectedly and has been refused a reason for his termination. Boss's son now gets his contracts, is this wrongful termination? We live in Huntsville, AL and this happened last week. My stepfather works at a printer/office supply renting leasing type company and he and my mom had just returned from vacation and when he went back to work they fired him, and although he asked their reasoning, they refused to explain. Now, his friends at the job have told him that all the contracts he had sold and negotiated were being passed on to the boss's son, and he is making easy money because of it. I was just wondering if this could qualify as wrongful termination because as far as anyone can tell, the only reason he was fired was so that the boss's son didn't actually have to work to sell anything and he could get paid commission for all the contracts that are soon to come back up that my stepdad was previously in charge of. I couldn't find anything in the AL or federal state codes but I did only give it a topical review. We plan on trying to set up a meeting in order to at least give the boss a chance to explain if there were other factors at play but, being as he was among their top salesman, had won them contracts with several large companies, and had a spotless record, I don't know of any other reason for him to be dropped.
RESPONSE A: Nope. At-will employment. He can be fired for no reason at all.
RESPONSE B: Did your father have an employment contract?
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
B | POST: Stepfather was fired unexpectedly and has been refused a reason for his termination. Boss's son now gets his contracts, is this wrongful termination? We live in Huntsville, AL and this happened last week. My stepfather works at a printer/office supply renting leasing type company and he and my mom had just returned from vacation and when he went back to work they fired him, and although he asked their reasoning, they refused to explain. Now, his friends at the job have told him that all the contracts he had sold and negotiated were being passed on to the boss's son, and he is making easy money because of it. I was just wondering if this could qualify as wrongful termination because as far as anyone can tell, the only reason he was fired was so that the boss's son didn't actually have to work to sell anything and he could get paid commission for all the contracts that are soon to come back up that my stepdad was previously in charge of. I couldn't find anything in the AL or federal state codes but I did only give it a topical review. We plan on trying to set up a meeting in order to at least give the boss a chance to explain if there were other factors at play but, being as he was among their top salesman, had won them contracts with several large companies, and had a spotless record, I don't know of any other reason for him to be dropped.
RESPONSE A: Did your father have an employment contract?
RESPONSE B: If your stepfather is over 40 he should consult an employment lawyer who handles employee cases to determine if he has an age discrimination case. He may have a very good case.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
B | POST: Stepfather was fired unexpectedly and has been refused a reason for his termination. Boss's son now gets his contracts, is this wrongful termination? We live in Huntsville, AL and this happened last week. My stepfather works at a printer/office supply renting leasing type company and he and my mom had just returned from vacation and when he went back to work they fired him, and although he asked their reasoning, they refused to explain. Now, his friends at the job have told him that all the contracts he had sold and negotiated were being passed on to the boss's son, and he is making easy money because of it. I was just wondering if this could qualify as wrongful termination because as far as anyone can tell, the only reason he was fired was so that the boss's son didn't actually have to work to sell anything and he could get paid commission for all the contracts that are soon to come back up that my stepdad was previously in charge of. I couldn't find anything in the AL or federal state codes but I did only give it a topical review. We plan on trying to set up a meeting in order to at least give the boss a chance to explain if there were other factors at play but, being as he was among their top salesman, had won them contracts with several large companies, and had a spotless record, I don't know of any other reason for him to be dropped.
RESPONSE A: Unless your stepfather had an employment contract for a specified term that was not honored, he likely has no rights. If he was on commission, he might be entitled to income from sales in progress, but that would depend on the wording of his contract.
RESPONSE B: If your stepfather is over 40 he should consult an employment lawyer who handles employee cases to determine if he has an age discrimination case. He may have a very good case.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
B | POST: Stepfather was fired unexpectedly and has been refused a reason for his termination. Boss's son now gets his contracts, is this wrongful termination? We live in Huntsville, AL and this happened last week. My stepfather works at a printer/office supply renting leasing type company and he and my mom had just returned from vacation and when he went back to work they fired him, and although he asked their reasoning, they refused to explain. Now, his friends at the job have told him that all the contracts he had sold and negotiated were being passed on to the boss's son, and he is making easy money because of it. I was just wondering if this could qualify as wrongful termination because as far as anyone can tell, the only reason he was fired was so that the boss's son didn't actually have to work to sell anything and he could get paid commission for all the contracts that are soon to come back up that my stepdad was previously in charge of. I couldn't find anything in the AL or federal state codes but I did only give it a topical review. We plan on trying to set up a meeting in order to at least give the boss a chance to explain if there were other factors at play but, being as he was among their top salesman, had won them contracts with several large companies, and had a spotless record, I don't know of any other reason for him to be dropped.
RESPONSE A: Did your father have an employment contract?
RESPONSE B: I'd simply start selling for a competitor. If hes good at sales, he can steal the contracts. Plus he already knows what they are paying.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
A | POST: Stepfather was fired unexpectedly and has been refused a reason for his termination. Boss's son now gets his contracts, is this wrongful termination? We live in Huntsville, AL and this happened last week. My stepfather works at a printer/office supply renting leasing type company and he and my mom had just returned from vacation and when he went back to work they fired him, and although he asked their reasoning, they refused to explain. Now, his friends at the job have told him that all the contracts he had sold and negotiated were being passed on to the boss's son, and he is making easy money because of it. I was just wondering if this could qualify as wrongful termination because as far as anyone can tell, the only reason he was fired was so that the boss's son didn't actually have to work to sell anything and he could get paid commission for all the contracts that are soon to come back up that my stepdad was previously in charge of. I couldn't find anything in the AL or federal state codes but I did only give it a topical review. We plan on trying to set up a meeting in order to at least give the boss a chance to explain if there were other factors at play but, being as he was among their top salesman, had won them contracts with several large companies, and had a spotless record, I don't know of any other reason for him to be dropped.
RESPONSE A: I'd simply start selling for a competitor. If hes good at sales, he can steal the contracts. Plus he already knows what they are paying.
RESPONSE B: Unless your stepfather had an employment contract for a specified term that was not honored, he likely has no rights. If he was on commission, he might be entitled to income from sales in progress, but that would depend on the wording of his contract.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
A | POST: I only want to pay child support and they are forcing me to have a family My ex (22) is 4 months pregnant, it wasn't planned; we did talk about it that I didn't want to keep it but in the end she just decided to. Now she and her father is forcing me have a family with her in which I don't want but her father is threatening me with either slander or defamation, maybe worse. I said I am wiiling to pay child support and give parental support as I am still the father of the child. I just don't want to be forced on having a family which I don't want. I am from the Philippines in which is an asian country.
RESPONSE A: You don't have to assume any parental duties besides child support. (Please give them any of your family medical issues, they need to know.)
RESPONSE B: ---
> http://imgur.com/a/myIAb
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Author: /u/Christianopinaa
Title: **I only want to pay child support and they are forcing me to have a family**
Original Post:
> My ex (22) is 4 months pregnant, it wasn't planned; we did talk about it that I didn't want to keep it but in the end she just decided to. Now she and her father is forcing me have a family with her in which I don't want but her father is threatening me with either slander or defamation, maybe worse. I said I am wiiling to pay child support and give parental support as I am still the father of the child. I just don't want to be forced on having a family which I don't want.
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A | POST: I only want to pay child support and they are forcing me to have a family My ex (22) is 4 months pregnant, it wasn't planned; we did talk about it that I didn't want to keep it but in the end she just decided to. Now she and her father is forcing me have a family with her in which I don't want but her father is threatening me with either slander or defamation, maybe worse. I said I am wiiling to pay child support and give parental support as I am still the father of the child. I just don't want to be forced on having a family which I don't want. I am from the Philippines in which is an asian country.
RESPONSE A: >her father is threatening me with either slander or defamation, maybe worse. Can you elaborate
RESPONSE B: ---
> http://imgur.com/a/myIAb
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Author: /u/Christianopinaa
Title: **I only want to pay child support and they are forcing me to have a family**
Original Post:
> My ex (22) is 4 months pregnant, it wasn't planned; we did talk about it that I didn't want to keep it but in the end she just decided to. Now she and her father is forcing me have a family with her in which I don't want but her father is threatening me with either slander or defamation, maybe worse. I said I am wiiling to pay child support and give parental support as I am still the father of the child. I just don't want to be forced on having a family which I don't want.
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B | POST: I only want to pay child support and they are forcing me to have a family My ex (22) is 4 months pregnant, it wasn't planned; we did talk about it that I didn't want to keep it but in the end she just decided to. Now she and her father is forcing me have a family with her in which I don't want but her father is threatening me with either slander or defamation, maybe worse. I said I am wiiling to pay child support and give parental support as I am still the father of the child. I just don't want to be forced on having a family which I don't want. I am from the Philippines in which is an asian country.
RESPONSE A: What country, state, or province do you live in ? In most places, and certainly everywhere in the US, a person or a court cannot force you to have a personal relationship with your children's mother or with your children. Courts can compel you to pay child support. That's all. In most places, demanding something intangible like "a relationship" is not money or property, so threatening defamation is not extortion. But if he actually does defame you, in a way that causes you money damages, you could (in theory) sue him in civil court. Most public comments about a man who gets your daughter pregnant then wants nothing to do with her are likely to be opinion, which is not defamatory. Defamatory statements must be about facts.
RESPONSE B: > I am from the Philippines in which is an asian country. The laws in the philippines support your position to only pay child support/parental support. That said, you know very well that in the Philippines, gun crime is *very common* and an aggrieved father may do drastic things. My suggestion is to move but do your legal obligations.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
A | POST: I didn't want to keep it but in the end she just decided to. Now she and her father is forcing me have a family with her in which I don't want but her father is threatening me with either slander or defamation, maybe worse. I said I am wiiling to pay child support and give parental support as I am still the father of the child. I just don't want to be forced on having a family which I don't want. I am from the Philippines in which is an asian country.
RESPONSE A: > I am from the Philippines in which is an asian country. The laws in the philippines support your position to only pay child support/parental support. That said, you know very well that in the Philippines, gun crime is *very common* and an aggrieved father may do drastic things. My suggestion is to move but do your legal obligations.
RESPONSE B: ---
> http://imgur.com/a/myIAb
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Author: /u/Christianopinaa
Title: **I only want to pay child support and they are forcing me to have a family**
Original Post:
> My ex (22) is 4 months pregnant, it wasn't planned; we did talk about it that I didn't want to keep it but in the end she just decided to. Now she and her father is forcing me have a family with her in which I don't want but her father is threatening me with either slander or defamation, maybe worse. I said I am wiiling to pay child support and give parental support as I am still the father of the child. I just don't want to be forced on having a family which I don't want.
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A | POST: 't want. I am from the Philippines in which is an asian country.
RESPONSE A: What country, state, or province do you live in ? In most places, and certainly everywhere in the US, a person or a court cannot force you to have a personal relationship with your children's mother or with your children. Courts can compel you to pay child support. That's all. In most places, demanding something intangible like "a relationship" is not money or property, so threatening defamation is not extortion. But if he actually does defame you, in a way that causes you money damages, you could (in theory) sue him in civil court. Most public comments about a man who gets your daughter pregnant then wants nothing to do with her are likely to be opinion, which is not defamatory. Defamatory statements must be about facts.
RESPONSE B: ---
> http://imgur.com/a/myIAb
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Author: /u/Christianopinaa
Title: **I only want to pay child support and they are forcing me to have a family**
Original Post:
> My ex (22) is 4 months pregnant, it wasn't planned; we did talk about it that I didn't want to keep it but in the end she just decided to. Now she and her father is forcing me have a family with her in which I don't want but her father is threatening me with either slander or defamation, maybe worse. I said I am wiiling to pay child support and give parental support as I am still the father of the child. I just don't want to be forced on having a family which I don't want.
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A | POST: overfed him on pills and medications half of which I'm sure only made him worse, more desoriented and weaker. They infantalize him. They treat him like a big child. Like someone with hardly a will of his own. No respect. He wants to die with dignity. If the cancer gets worse, chances are he will be put in a hospital. Surgery and chemo may cause his mind to deteriorate at a faster rate. Which would be the worst thing they could ever do to a proud and strong man. Just because he's forgetful at times does not mean he is a child without a will of his own. Now my grandfather is the kindest soul you could imagine. And my grandmother's word is everything to him. He will go along with whatever she says, even if it's not what he wants. I have no allies in my family, which is quite large and loves my grandfather to death, to the degree that they overlook his quality of life and his own choices. They're blind and deaf to any arguments I make and at the same time I have a hard time talking privately to my grandfather without my grandma being present. **TL;DR:** My grandfather has cancer. His health, mental and physical, is in decline but he wants to die with honor and dignity and it looks like my family won't allow him that choice. **EDIT:** My location is Louisiana.
RESPONSE A: While you grandfather is mentally competent he needs to meet with an attorney and draw up advanced directives and a power of attorney. The advanced directives can be a DNR or living will and the POA can give you the power to overrule *all* of your family when he declines to the point that he is no longer mentally competent. The POA will override your grandma's status as his wife and give medical decision making power to the one he names.
RESPONSE B: Contact the Governor’s Office of Elderly Affairs in Louisiana: http://goea.louisiana.gov/ Health care power of attorney forms are available on their website: http://goea.louisiana.gov/assets/docs/LouisianaHCPOA.pdf
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
A | POST: choice. **EDIT:** My location is Louisiana.
RESPONSE A: I am a medical social worker and I see this type of stuff all the time. The very best thing to do is to get Grandpa to sign a healthcare Power of attorney form (names someone close to him who he wants to have make his medical decisions), a living will (what he wants to have done if he is hospitalized and can't speak for himself), and an advance directive (whether or not he wants to have CPR done on him). Now you can have Grandpa go to his lawyer and get it done, but there is a way to have it done free, and it's completely legal. It's called "Five Wishes" and you can download and print it off of this site: https://pdfsimpli.com/forms/5-wishes-pdf/ When he fills it out, he just has to fill in the blanks, and then have someone sign it as a witness (someone different). There are a lot of different statements saying I want to have this done or I want to have that done. If he doesn't want that done, he just crosses it out. If there's something not listed, he puts that on the blank lines at the end of each "wish." The most important thing about this document is 1. keep it safe (because if family members disagree with it, they may make it disappear, KWIM?). and 2. keep it handy, because if Grandpa's heart suddenly stops and he needs CPR, you need to produce that Wishes document to show that he doesn't want CPR (or whatever). This is not the kind of document that you sign and then put in the filing cabinet for years. This is the document that you sign and then put on the fridge or on the side of his bed, somewhere where medical professionals will see it.
RESPONSE B: Contact the Governor’s Office of Elderly Affairs in Louisiana: http://goea.louisiana.gov/ Health care power of attorney forms are available on their website: http://goea.louisiana.gov/assets/docs/LouisianaHCPOA.pdf
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
A | POST: My younger brother died, I have his kid. My brother died in June of 2020. My husband and I have been primary caregivers since then. His mother, X, is not the mothering type and often doesn't ask about or see him for weeks, and months at a time. Kid is 3 and never had his own bed there. She gets him when it's convenient for her. So she has a new partner and this other girl just had her 4 kids removed from the home. This happened last Thursday night. I got a call and told CPS was there, they were being evicted, could I come get him. I did and CPS caseworker said he was removing other girls kids and X was just named in the investigation. They are now trying to find housing across state lines to give them time to clean up before CPS catches up. We want to draw something up that gives me guardianship. Problem is she is desperate to hold on to his SS check. She can keep that, we just need him to stay with us. How can it be worded without excluding her from being mom, but making it legal that he resides with us. I need to be able to enroll him in school, keep his dr and medicaid stuff straight without the worry of her calling or being able to undo anything.
RESPONSE A: Reach out to CPS, and ask them for assistance in establishing some type of custodial control. Additionally, ask them for any information they have on resources to support him. As kin, you may be able to get additional support (in my state they could pay medical expenses and for day care, etc.) tell them you want to go for guardianship.
RESPONSE B: You need an attorney, You'll have to pursue guardianship through the courts if the mother won't allow the child to stay with you. There's no guarantee the court will place him with you over his mother.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
A | POST: the home. This happened last Thursday night. I got a call and told CPS was there, they were being evicted, could I come get him. I did and CPS caseworker said he was removing other girls kids and X was just named in the investigation. They are now trying to find housing across state lines to give them time to clean up before CPS catches up. We want to draw something up that gives me guardianship. Problem is she is desperate to hold on to his SS check. She can keep that, we just need him to stay with us. How can it be worded without excluding her from being mom, but making it legal that he resides with us. I need to be able to enroll him in school, keep his dr and medicaid stuff straight without the worry of her calling or being able to undo anything.
RESPONSE A: Reach out to CPS, and ask them for assistance in establishing some type of custodial control. Additionally, ask them for any information they have on resources to support him. As kin, you may be able to get additional support (in my state they could pay medical expenses and for day care, etc.) tell them you want to go for guardianship.
RESPONSE B: \_\_ Not legal advice \_\_ First and foremost, props to you for doing what you're doing. Any brother would be blessed and proud to have a sister like you. Go to your local court, there are guardianship clinics you can reach out to (for free) with an attorney present (for free) to give you the necessary advise. However, since there is a mother present, you will 'most likely' need her blessing / signature on the papers, in order to become a legal guardian. Please note, your income may affect the SS if high pay / income, you won't get SS which ultimately leads to the mother not getting it, which ultimately leads to things not going the way you want it. So, use your wording carefully (what may happen in the future, does not necessarily need to be discussed) as it's a mere possibility, and it's not your job to do so. best of luck to you.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
A | POST: My younger brother died, I have his kid. My brother died in June of 2020. My husband and I have been primary caregivers since then. His mother, X, is not the mothering type and often doesn't ask about or see him for weeks, and months at a time. Kid is 3 and never had his own bed there. She gets him when it's convenient for her. So she has a new partner and this other girl just had her 4 kids removed from the home. This happened last Thursday night. I got a call and told CPS was there, they were being evicted, could I come get him. I did and CPS caseworker said he was removing other girls kids and X was just named in the investigation. They are now trying to find housing across state lines to give them time to clean up before CPS catches up. We want to draw something up that gives me guardianship. Problem is she is desperate to hold on to his SS check. She can keep that, we just need him to stay with us. How can it be worded without excluding her from being mom, but making it legal that he resides with us. I need to be able to enroll him in school, keep his dr and medicaid stuff straight without the worry of her calling or being able to undo anything.
RESPONSE A: She is already committing fraud by recieving his SSI check when he doesn't reside with her; the rules for custodial SSI are very clear about this.
RESPONSE B: You need an attorney, You'll have to pursue guardianship through the courts if the mother won't allow the child to stay with you. There's no guarantee the court will place him with you over his mother.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
B | POST: I turn 18 next week and it's the law that I have to adopt my niece. I can't find any law that says this, but I can't be sure. I told them I'm going to college (which they didn't know I plan on doing) and they said that's not important, that I have a Godly and legal duty to this child and they will find me a husband to make money to pay bills. I guess my question is: is there really a law that says I have to take custody of my niece? I love her but I can't take care of a two year old. I also don't want to marry some random man to "take care" of me. I think my parents are just wanting to not have to take her. They keep telling me that if she goes "into the system" they'll turn me in for child abuse and I'll go to jail. I don't want that. Is there really a way they can force me to take her? And what really happens to her if I don't? Sorry if this is all over the place, I'm just really scared and I can't afford a lawyer, I have no money. Thank you in advance.
RESPONSE A: Here are some links to help you find Free and low cost legal help Your college may also have legal services for students. If there is a law school in the area, they may also have free or low cost legal clinics. You can contact Child Protective Services in the county where you live. Tell them the situation. Ask them for assistance in getting help for your niece. They won't make you take your niece and they won't accuse you of child abuse; they will make sure she is taken care of by the right people. If you call CPS now, you can get people looking after your niece before your parents abandon her. If the child is dumped off on your door step, call the police. Tell them a child has been abandoned.
RESPONSE B: Not only can your parents (or the law) make you take care of the child. At 18 with only a high school education and living with your parents, it is unlikely the state would even give you custody. You would not have the financial ability to care for this child
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
B | POST: [Texas] The guy who stole from me wants me to write him a letter of recommendation. What am I allowed to say? My former housekeeper’s son asked me to write him a letter of recommendation today. He used to steal my wife’s bras. We caught him carrying two out to his car one day. He froze in place, said “oops,” and returned *one* and honest-to-god tried to sneak the other into his car. I strongly suspect he stole our tableware, plates, and glasses too. I never caught him red-handed with them, but they only disappeared on days he and his mom came to clean. It wasn’t even our *nice* kitchen stuff either; he stole our decade-old IKEA plates, forks, knives, and spoons, along with all of our daughter’s sippy-cups and straws. He was in his twenties when he did all of this. And now he’s asking me to write a letter of recommendation. How much liability am I exposing myself to if I figure out who this clown wants me to send this letter to and tell them he’s a thief? There is no criminal record that I am aware of because we never filed a police report; we just fired him and his mom and replaced our stuff (including the bras)—and I know we are *very* lucky to have been able to do that. My first instinct is just to delete the email and block this guy’s address and be done with him, but the sheer temerity of his “may I ask a favor of you?” is *really* getting to me.
RESPONSE A: Just decline Even if you have truth on your side the cost of litigation is high and is not with exposing yourself to the risk What would you have to gain other than sticking it to him? Ignore and move on
RESPONSE B: “I am unable to provide a recommendation for this person.”
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
B | POST: [Texas] The guy who stole from me wants me to write him a letter of recommendation. What am I allowed to say? My former housekeeper’s son asked me to write him a letter of recommendation today. He used to steal my wife’s bras. We caught him carrying two out to his car one day. He froze in place, said “oops,” and returned *one* and honest-to-god tried to sneak the other into his car. I strongly suspect he stole our tableware, plates, and glasses too. I never caught him red-handed with them, but they only disappeared on days he and his mom came to clean. It wasn’t even our *nice* kitchen stuff either; he stole our decade-old IKEA plates, forks, knives, and spoons, along with all of our daughter’s sippy-cups and straws. He was in his twenties when he did all of this. And now he’s asking me to write a letter of recommendation. How much liability am I exposing myself to if I figure out who this clown wants me to send this letter to and tell them he’s a thief? There is no criminal record that I am aware of because we never filed a police report; we just fired him and his mom and replaced our stuff (including the bras)—and I know we are *very* lucky to have been able to do that. My first instinct is just to delete the email and block this guy’s address and be done with him, but the sheer temerity of his “may I ask a favor of you?” is *really* getting to me.
RESPONSE A: I would take the non confrontational role here and just decline to provide a recommendation. You can always let him know you’re too busy to help out and that should be a hint. Or you can follow your instinct and just block him and he’ll move on. You aren’t obligated to help anyone who stole from you.
RESPONSE B: “I am unable to provide a recommendation for this person.”
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
B | POST: [Texas] The guy who stole from me wants me to write him a letter of recommendation. What am I allowed to say? My former housekeeper’s son asked me to write him a letter of recommendation today. He used to steal my wife’s bras. We caught him carrying two out to his car one day. He froze in place, said “oops,” and returned *one* and honest-to-god tried to sneak the other into his car. I strongly suspect he stole our tableware, plates, and glasses too. I never caught him red-handed with them, but they only disappeared on days he and his mom came to clean. It wasn’t even our *nice* kitchen stuff either; he stole our decade-old IKEA plates, forks, knives, and spoons, along with all of our daughter’s sippy-cups and straws. He was in his twenties when he did all of this. And now he’s asking me to write a letter of recommendation. How much liability am I exposing myself to if I figure out who this clown wants me to send this letter to and tell them he’s a thief? There is no criminal record that I am aware of because we never filed a police report; we just fired him and his mom and replaced our stuff (including the bras)—and I know we are *very* lucky to have been able to do that. My first instinct is just to delete the email and block this guy’s address and be done with him, but the sheer temerity of his “may I ask a favor of you?” is *really* getting to me.
RESPONSE A: Let him know he doesn’t want your recommendation.
RESPONSE B: “I am unable to provide a recommendation for this person.”
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
A | POST: as] The guy who stole from me wants me to write him a letter of recommendation. What am I allowed to say? My former housekeeper’s son asked me to write him a letter of recommendation today. He used to steal my wife’s bras. We caught him carrying two out to his car one day. He froze in place, said “oops,” and returned *one* and honest-to-god tried to sneak the other into his car. I strongly suspect he stole our tableware, plates, and glasses too. I never caught him red-handed with them, but they only disappeared on days he and his mom came to clean. It wasn’t even our *nice* kitchen stuff either; he stole our decade-old IKEA plates, forks, knives, and spoons, along with all of our daughter’s sippy-cups and straws. He was in his twenties when he did all of this. And now he’s asking me to write a letter of recommendation. How much liability am I exposing myself to if I figure out who this clown wants me to send this letter to and tell them he’s a thief? There is no criminal record that I am aware of because we never filed a police report; we just fired him and his mom and replaced our stuff (including the bras)—and I know we are *very* lucky to have been able to do that. My first instinct is just to delete the email and block this guy’s address and be done with him, but the sheer temerity of his “may I ask a favor of you?” is *really* getting to me.
RESPONSE A: “I am unable to provide a recommendation for this person.”
RESPONSE B: Does he know he was fired for stealing your wife's bras? He also stole your daughter's sippy cups? It's too bad you didn't report him at the time. It wasn't about stealing, but the thrill of taking personal items from a woman and girl. This kind of behaviour is a predictor of later sexually predatory behaviour. Think about why he would ask you for a reference. He knows what he did.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
A | POST: [Texas] The guy who stole from me wants me to write him a letter of recommendation. What am I allowed to say? My former housekeeper’s son asked me to write him a letter of recommendation today. He used to steal my wife’s bras. We caught him carrying two out to his car one day. He froze in place, said “oops,” and returned *one* and honest-to-god tried to sneak the other into his car. I strongly suspect he stole our tableware, plates, and glasses too. I never caught him red-handed with them, but they only disappeared on days he and his mom came to clean. It wasn’t even our *nice* kitchen stuff either; he stole our decade-old IKEA plates, forks, knives, and spoons, along with all of our daughter’s sippy-cups and straws. He was in his twenties when he did all of this. And now he’s asking me to write a letter of recommendation. How much liability am I exposing myself to if I figure out who this clown wants me to send this letter to and tell them he’s a thief? There is no criminal record that I am aware of because we never filed a police report; we just fired him and his mom and replaced our stuff (including the bras)—and I know we are *very* lucky to have been able to do that. My first instinct is just to delete the email and block this guy’s address and be done with him, but the sheer temerity of his “may I ask a favor of you?” is *really* getting to me.
RESPONSE A: “I am unable to provide a recommendation for this person.”
RESPONSE B: Say NO! Or if you prefer, No Thank You!
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
A | POST: Over $5000 of musical gear was stolen from me in OK. I reported it stolen to local PD. 3 weeks later, I find it listed for sale online in a store located in CO. The guy who sold it out there is a suspect I named on the police report. But neither LE office is going to pursue criminal charges. Why?
RESPONSE A: Were your items entered into NCIC? If yes, go light up the agency in whose jurisdiction they were recovered. There's always going to be some poor detective who's new on the job and has various shitty things he needs to do and is looking for an easy win. Find him/her. If the agency has a Facebook page, ping it. Same goes for Twitter, email, etc. Send them a public records request for any incident report related to the theft. People often say "Let the detectives do their jobs," but if you can be both loud and *helpful* (for example, by providing serial numbers, providing a statement asserting the relationship between the girl and the thief, etc.) you'll get much further along.
RESPONSE B: How did he steal it?
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
A | POST: Over $5000 of musical gear was stolen from me in OK. I reported it stolen to local PD. 3 weeks later, I find it listed for sale online in a store located in CO. The guy who sold it out there is a suspect I named on the police report. But neither LE office is going to pursue criminal charges. Why?
RESPONSE A: The store has your stuff. They screwed up and bought stolen property. Demand they make it available for pickup and arrange for someone to get it. In writing, lots of ways, call and document. If the store sells it, file a complaint with the police about the store knowingly selling stolen property. And sue the store for the value of the property. That's a possible course of action.
RESPONSE B: Is it possible that this guy is involved in worse crimes? It sounds a little like a tv show plot, but if there's an ongoing investigation on him for more serious charges, they may not want to jeopardize that case for yours.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
B | POST: cement at apartment complex where she lives. "Graffiti" was washed off by my daughter the next day. Two families now facing eviction based on rental manager pressing charges. My daughter and her friend were hanging out at rental office/pool facilities after hours with two other boys they know from their school. Manager see kids on security cam and call police. Just before police arrive boys leave and police question daughter and friend. Police said they would have given a warning but manager wanted to press charges. Manager later talks to my ex-wife and says that because the boys were guests of the daughters they are responsible for the "graffiti" and she would be putting through a 30 Day eviction notice. This seems bizarre to me and not exactly sure what my next steps should be. Understandably my ex-wife is freaking out. This can't be legal. I do have the arresting officers phone number, should I be calling him for further information? Thank you for any insight.
RESPONSE A: What does your lease agreement say? Honestly not to sound like a downer, it was some destruction to property. I mean if they were children such as 3-7 maybe you could fight . Chances are , they were cited and they will most likely have to pay a fine it’s nothing to serious. However on the eviction, I would say you don’t have to much of a case. You can try to argue it once they bring a unlawful detainer action. Hopefully the judge will see how minor it is . Either way good luck
RESPONSE B: California cop here... For the criminal side of your question... How old is your daughter? There is a brand new law in California that police cannot question a minor under 15 without a lawyer present. Period. Parents and Miranda doesn't matter. Bring that up with your defense attorney because you stated the police came and questioned your daughter. But more importantly... If your daughter didn't commit the crime... Why was she given a ticket? The boys she was with Drew on the ground, right? I'm a little confused on that point. Edit: your daughter is 15... Duh. Yeahhh... Do some research on that new CA law, or at least bring it up with the defense attorney.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
A | POST: (CA) Fifteen year old daughter was given a vandalism citation for drawing crayon pictures on cement at apartment complex where she lives. "Graffiti" was washed off by my daughter the next day. Two families now facing eviction based on rental manager pressing charges. My daughter and her friend were hanging out at rental office/pool facilities after hours with two other boys they know from their school. Manager see kids on security cam and call police. Just before police arrive boys leave and police question daughter and friend. Police said they would have given a warning but manager wanted to press charges. Manager later talks to my ex-wife and says that because the boys were guests of the daughters they are responsible for the "graffiti" and she would be putting through a 30 Day eviction notice. This seems bizarre to me and not exactly sure what my next steps should be. Understandably my ex-wife is freaking out. This can't be legal. I do have the arresting officers phone number, should I be calling him for further information? Thank you for any insight.
RESPONSE A: Unsupervised teens hanging out at an apartment pool after hours is a serious potential liability issue for the property owners. The graffiti and vandalism citations are just the icing on the cake. The fact that your daughter cleaned it up doesn't negate that she did it in the first place. Assuming that the lease allows it, and it almost definitely does, the eviction is legal.
RESPONSE B: What exactly was drawn on the sidewalks?
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
B | POST: . This SUV is also following me around and is being more aggressive. I started carrying my gun in my car just in case because of it but I have been advised against it. I think it is a police van and SUV that has been following me as they both have license plates that have no letters in it. Looking up online it looks like, in Texas, license plates that only have numbers belong to the police. I have been unable to confirm that as the police dept has been very terse with me. They told me that if I wanted to get them involved in this issue I should come down and talk about it at the station with them. Yeah I am definitely not gonna do that. My friend told me to contact a lawyer immediately as it is likely I am being investigated by some LEA that is not my local department as they did not know anything about the black van at first. I have family who are, well lets just say that we have a small herd of black sheep in our family. They live in NJ and are involved in a lot of illegal things. We will leave it at that. My familial connections with them has precluded me from getting a security clearance in the past to work for a major US military contractor and has created issues at airports. But I have never been investigated before. My local department has advised me not to make contact with the SUV following me and to not carry my firearm in my car. These two statements from them have me extremely paranoid and I am unsure of what I should do now?
RESPONSE A: 1. Stop carrying a fucking gun over this. That is the stupidest fucking thing I have read in a long time. 2. Get an attorney.
RESPONSE B: If you are legally allowed to carry a firearm then you may do so. No one here has any idea what the circumstances are, but if they are following you they are doing a piss-poor job of it since the idea should be that you have no idea that they are there. Surveillance like you describe is very expensive and resource intensive. If it is the police or another agency, it will be very short lived unless they have a really REALLY good reason to believe that you're involved in something beyond "I'm related to organized crime."
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
B | POST: have been unable to confirm that as the police dept has been very terse with me. They told me that if I wanted to get them involved in this issue I should come down and talk about it at the station with them. Yeah I am definitely not gonna do that. My friend told me to contact a lawyer immediately as it is likely I am being investigated by some LEA that is not my local department as they did not know anything about the black van at first. I have family who are, well lets just say that we have a small herd of black sheep in our family. They live in NJ and are involved in a lot of illegal things. We will leave it at that. My familial connections with them has precluded me from getting a security clearance in the past to work for a major US military contractor and has created issues at airports. But I have never been investigated before. My local department has advised me not to make contact with the SUV following me and to not carry my firearm in my car. These two statements from them have me extremely paranoid and I am unsure of what I should do now?
RESPONSE A: Have you checked to see if you have a carbon monoxide detector at home?
RESPONSE B: There's a non-zero chance that your house could get searched before this is all over. Do some housecleaning now, and get rid of anything that's dubious. That expired pain prescription your old girlfriend left in the medicine cabinet? Those pills go down the toilet, and the empty bottle gets thrown away *at work*. Do you have too many doses of cold remedies with pseudoephedrine? The extras go down the toilet. That single counterfeit $20 you got in your change once and kept as a curio? That goes through the shredder *at work*. Are you certain that any firearms you bought in another jurisdiction are legal in your current location? Are you *certain* that the shotgun you inherited from Uncle Willy has a legal length barrel? If you have a landline at home, do you use modern cordless phones with good security, or are you still using 900Mhz cordless phones from back-in-the-day that broadcast both sides of the conversation in clear?
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
B | POST: e with me. They told me that if I wanted to get them involved in this issue I should come down and talk about it at the station with them. Yeah I am definitely not gonna do that. My friend told me to contact a lawyer immediately as it is likely I am being investigated by some LEA that is not my local department as they did not know anything about the black van at first. I have family who are, well lets just say that we have a small herd of black sheep in our family. They live in NJ and are involved in a lot of illegal things. We will leave it at that. My familial connections with them has precluded me from getting a security clearance in the past to work for a major US military contractor and has created issues at airports. But I have never been investigated before. My local department has advised me not to make contact with the SUV following me and to not carry my firearm in my car. These two statements from them have me extremely paranoid and I am unsure of what I should do now?
RESPONSE A: 1. Stop carrying a fucking gun over this. That is the stupidest fucking thing I have read in a long time. 2. Get an attorney.
RESPONSE B: There's a non-zero chance that your house could get searched before this is all over. Do some housecleaning now, and get rid of anything that's dubious. That expired pain prescription your old girlfriend left in the medicine cabinet? Those pills go down the toilet, and the empty bottle gets thrown away *at work*. Do you have too many doses of cold remedies with pseudoephedrine? The extras go down the toilet. That single counterfeit $20 you got in your change once and kept as a curio? That goes through the shredder *at work*. Are you certain that any firearms you bought in another jurisdiction are legal in your current location? Are you *certain* that the shotgun you inherited from Uncle Willy has a legal length barrel? If you have a landline at home, do you use modern cordless phones with good security, or are you still using 900Mhz cordless phones from back-in-the-day that broadcast both sides of the conversation in clear?
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
A | POST: with me. They told me that if I wanted to get them involved in this issue I should come down and talk about it at the station with them. Yeah I am definitely not gonna do that. My friend told me to contact a lawyer immediately as it is likely I am being investigated by some LEA that is not my local department as they did not know anything about the black van at first. I have family who are, well lets just say that we have a small herd of black sheep in our family. They live in NJ and are involved in a lot of illegal things. We will leave it at that. My familial connections with them has precluded me from getting a security clearance in the past to work for a major US military contractor and has created issues at airports. But I have never been investigated before. My local department has advised me not to make contact with the SUV following me and to not carry my firearm in my car. These two statements from them have me extremely paranoid and I am unsure of what I should do now?
RESPONSE A: There's a non-zero chance that your house could get searched before this is all over. Do some housecleaning now, and get rid of anything that's dubious. That expired pain prescription your old girlfriend left in the medicine cabinet? Those pills go down the toilet, and the empty bottle gets thrown away *at work*. Do you have too many doses of cold remedies with pseudoephedrine? The extras go down the toilet. That single counterfeit $20 you got in your change once and kept as a curio? That goes through the shredder *at work*. Are you certain that any firearms you bought in another jurisdiction are legal in your current location? Are you *certain* that the shotgun you inherited from Uncle Willy has a legal length barrel? If you have a landline at home, do you use modern cordless phones with good security, or are you still using 900Mhz cordless phones from back-in-the-day that broadcast both sides of the conversation in clear?
RESPONSE B: Have you tried going and knocking on the window of the van and asking them? If it is LEA they aren't going to shoot you for knocking on the window.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
B | POST: unable to confirm that as the police dept has been very terse with me. They told me that if I wanted to get them involved in this issue I should come down and talk about it at the station with them. Yeah I am definitely not gonna do that. My friend told me to contact a lawyer immediately as it is likely I am being investigated by some LEA that is not my local department as they did not know anything about the black van at first. I have family who are, well lets just say that we have a small herd of black sheep in our family. They live in NJ and are involved in a lot of illegal things. We will leave it at that. My familial connections with them has precluded me from getting a security clearance in the past to work for a major US military contractor and has created issues at airports. But I have never been investigated before. My local department has advised me not to make contact with the SUV following me and to not carry my firearm in my car. These two statements from them have me extremely paranoid and I am unsure of what I should do now?
RESPONSE A: Just a thought - if this is law enforcement your phone may be tapped, too.
RESPONSE B: There's a non-zero chance that your house could get searched before this is all over. Do some housecleaning now, and get rid of anything that's dubious. That expired pain prescription your old girlfriend left in the medicine cabinet? Those pills go down the toilet, and the empty bottle gets thrown away *at work*. Do you have too many doses of cold remedies with pseudoephedrine? The extras go down the toilet. That single counterfeit $20 you got in your change once and kept as a curio? That goes through the shredder *at work*. Are you certain that any firearms you bought in another jurisdiction are legal in your current location? Are you *certain* that the shotgun you inherited from Uncle Willy has a legal length barrel? If you have a landline at home, do you use modern cordless phones with good security, or are you still using 900Mhz cordless phones from back-in-the-day that broadcast both sides of the conversation in clear?
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
B | POST: misunderstanding, they just never told me, I checked the emails. However, at the end of the day it was fine because the coat was just listed at a buy out price and not a bid. I should also say that I didn't sign any kind of agreement, but their policy is that they get to keep the item for 90 days and then you can request it be returned to you at no charge or for a $25 fee if returned before. After a couple months of the coat not selling we discussed over e-mail lowering the prices of the items I had with them and they lowered the price of the coat to $4,050. Again, this price was still okay because I would still be getting back the money I wanted after their cut. However, I didn't want another price drop because then it would no longer be beneficial to sell for the price. I was well past the 90 days to have the coat returned, so I just watched the eBay listing. I was happy to see that it sold at the $4,050 price and that the eBay auction was over. Strangely, they didn't e-mail me and I had to reach out to them after a while. When things had sold in the past they were usually very prompt with reaching out. Yesterday I got a "sales summary" explaining my cut etc. and much to my horror they are listing that they sold it for $3,600! Now I have e-mailed them twice and have not gotten any response. I have asked why if eBay says it sold at $4,050 that they are claiming it sold for less. In any event, if I have to fight them on this what are my options? What are the laws governing consignments? If they continue to ignore me and just try to send me a check for the much lower amount can anything be done? Moreover, since I am in California and they are in Michigan which laws apply? Thanks!
RESPONSE A: Did you sign a contract with them on this issue? What does it say about their ability to change the listing price of an item? Absent any other agreement, you can sue them in small claims for the the amount they owe you for the $4050 sales price.
RESPONSE B: Did the ebay listing take a 10% cut as their fee?
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
A | POST: and shapes, and it's this combo that makes the pattern unique and identifiable. I used Legal Zoom in 2011 to protect my idea and sent in both a written copy and physical object. Copyright was granted in 2011. I just found out someone literally counted each single, individual bead in my pattern and essentially rewrote the pattern and it somehow ended up in a national magazine in 2013. This magazine then had to create the bead-by-bead diagram in order to publish the pattern. The magazine seemed to have gone out of business in 2020. The only difference between the copy and my own pattern is 4 beads in the original round, essentially decreasing the entire pattern by 1 "row". Everything else is exactly the same. I would like to sell my own copyrighted pattern. Will I run into any troubles for selling the original.pdf that was printed/sent to Legal Zoom for copyright as my own original work, considering someone else ripped off the pattern and it's published in a now discontinued magazine? Is it possible to be compensated for the magazine publishing my stolen pattern? Thanks so much!
RESPONSE A: Patterns are not generally eligible for copyright protection as they are considered a method of doing something. >Copyright does not protect ideas, concepts, systems, or methods of doing something. Source: https://www.copyright.gov/help/faq/faq-protect.html Any original materials you created to express your idea, aside from the method to recreate it, would be eligible for copyright protection. Examples would include photographs of the item, prose describing it, or illustrations of it. You would be free to sell your own version of the pattern. You cannot use images from the magazine to sell your pattern without their permission. You can describe your pattern as being published in that magazine, however, as that would be a statement of fact, which is also not copyrightable.
RESPONSE B: The website you mention is up-selling something that people do directly. It's not knowable if you'd have any trouble, only time will tell. To sue, you'd need a lawyer who specializes in IP law to sue in federal court, and suing a defunct magazine isn't going to be fruitful.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
A | POST: said that they could not send me proof because they discarded the incorrect item that they claimed I sent them. I called support back to get an explanation on the last e-mail I had just received and was again told the same thing as the first call, that a team would be back in contact with me within 24-48 hours via email and that I wouldn't be charged or should receive anymore e-mails requesting that I send the item back. Due to how inconsistent amazon has been up to this point, I started recording all of my calls. I also saved all of the emails I have up until now. I also took screen shots of the return order page that still shows the return as completed and received by amazon on June 24th. I'm really at a loss for what to do here. I don't have the return shipping receipt anymore since it was so long ago and I received confirmation that they received the item. When I returned the item, amazon allows you to return the item in it's regular product box without a cardboard shipping box to a UPS store. I suspect that between the UPS store and the Amazon warehouse that someone stole or replaced the drone. However since Amazon won't give me ANY information, I have no way to confirm that. It seems that every response I get back from Amazon on any of my requests for information is met with a "fuck you, pay me." from amazon. I assume they're going to charge my card for the $1000 soon. It's an Amazon Store credit card by Synchrony bank, so I have no clue how a credit dispute would work out in this case. If they charge me, would it even be worth brining a company like Amazon to small claims court? It feels like a VERY uphill battle in a case of he said, she said.
RESPONSE A: > If they charge me Stop payment on any attempt they make to impose the unlawful claim. They can deal with your credit card provider, who will require more than just their baseless assertion that you returned the wrong item. Despite the Amazon sponsorship of the card they are still subject to US banking and credit regulations and they'll be dealing with a third party, they are not a bank.
RESPONSE B: Can you get tracking information/proof of shipment and delivery from UPS?
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
B | POST: bank, so I have no clue how a credit dispute would work out in this case. If they charge me, would it even be worth brining a company like Amazon to small claims court? It feels like a VERY uphill battle in a case of he said, she said.
RESPONSE A: If you bounce the charge back,, you risk Amazon closing the account. The very first thing I would do would be to ask Amazon if you shipped back the wrong item, exactly what item did it receive? Surely Amazon can tell you what it received? This is a basic question, and it is probably one of the first questions a judge in small claims court would ask.
RESPONSE B: Just had a similar issue and I was able to resolve it. It was a total pain in the ass. I returned an iPhone and they claimed they received an empty box. Here’s what finally solved it, because I kept going through the exact same Groundhog Day loop that you did. I called UPS and opened an investigation with them using the return tracking number. UPS completed their investigation but wouldn’t tell me what their findings were and that I have to call Amazon to get that info. That was another frustrating loop. Eventually I got a UPS supervisor to confirm that they were waiting for paperwork from Amazon to send them payment for the iPhone, so I took that to mean UPS concluded it was their fault. With that supervisor on the phone, I three way called to Amazon, requested a US based supervisor, then had the UPS supervisor explain to Amazon what was going on. I then made sure that the Amazon supervisor included all that information in a note to the specialist team. I then replied to one of those specialist team emails, restating the conversation that just took place, confirming that UPS accepted liability. They confirmed the refund via email later that day. Overall, it was a colossal pain in the ass, especially since the tracking on it showed a scan weight that confirmed I didn’t send an empty box, but finally it’s resolved after a month of dealing with it. I also got nowhere with those executive emails. The final Amazon supervisor I spoke to, when I asked him what to do if I still don’t get my refund, he told me to dispute the charge with my CC.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
A | POST: confirm that. It seems that every response I get back from Amazon on any of my requests for information is met with a "fuck you, pay me." from amazon. I assume they're going to charge my card for the $1000 soon. It's an Amazon Store credit card by Synchrony bank, so I have no clue how a credit dispute would work out in this case. If they charge me, would it even be worth brining a company like Amazon to small claims court? It feels like a VERY uphill battle in a case of he said, she said.
RESPONSE A: Just had a similar issue and I was able to resolve it. It was a total pain in the ass. I returned an iPhone and they claimed they received an empty box. Here’s what finally solved it, because I kept going through the exact same Groundhog Day loop that you did. I called UPS and opened an investigation with them using the return tracking number. UPS completed their investigation but wouldn’t tell me what their findings were and that I have to call Amazon to get that info. That was another frustrating loop. Eventually I got a UPS supervisor to confirm that they were waiting for paperwork from Amazon to send them payment for the iPhone, so I took that to mean UPS concluded it was their fault. With that supervisor on the phone, I three way called to Amazon, requested a US based supervisor, then had the UPS supervisor explain to Amazon what was going on. I then made sure that the Amazon supervisor included all that information in a note to the specialist team. I then replied to one of those specialist team emails, restating the conversation that just took place, confirming that UPS accepted liability. They confirmed the refund via email later that day. Overall, it was a colossal pain in the ass, especially since the tracking on it showed a scan weight that confirmed I didn’t send an empty box, but finally it’s resolved after a month of dealing with it. I also got nowhere with those executive emails. The final Amazon supervisor I spoke to, when I asked him what to do if I still don’t get my refund, he told me to dispute the charge with my CC.
RESPONSE B: Can you get tracking information/proof of shipment and delivery from UPS?
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
A | POST: way to confirm that. It seems that every response I get back from Amazon on any of my requests for information is met with a "fuck you, pay me." from amazon. I assume they're going to charge my card for the $1000 soon. It's an Amazon Store credit card by Synchrony bank, so I have no clue how a credit dispute would work out in this case. If they charge me, would it even be worth brining a company like Amazon to small claims court? It feels like a VERY uphill battle in a case of he said, she said.
RESPONSE A: Just had a similar issue and I was able to resolve it. It was a total pain in the ass. I returned an iPhone and they claimed they received an empty box. Here’s what finally solved it, because I kept going through the exact same Groundhog Day loop that you did. I called UPS and opened an investigation with them using the return tracking number. UPS completed their investigation but wouldn’t tell me what their findings were and that I have to call Amazon to get that info. That was another frustrating loop. Eventually I got a UPS supervisor to confirm that they were waiting for paperwork from Amazon to send them payment for the iPhone, so I took that to mean UPS concluded it was their fault. With that supervisor on the phone, I three way called to Amazon, requested a US based supervisor, then had the UPS supervisor explain to Amazon what was going on. I then made sure that the Amazon supervisor included all that information in a note to the specialist team. I then replied to one of those specialist team emails, restating the conversation that just took place, confirming that UPS accepted liability. They confirmed the refund via email later that day. Overall, it was a colossal pain in the ass, especially since the tracking on it showed a scan weight that confirmed I didn’t send an empty box, but finally it’s resolved after a month of dealing with it. I also got nowhere with those executive emails. The final Amazon supervisor I spoke to, when I asked him what to do if I still don’t get my refund, he told me to dispute the charge with my CC.
RESPONSE B: Are you sure that the emails are actually coming from Amazon?
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
A | POST: to me. They also said that they could not send me proof because they discarded the incorrect item that they claimed I sent them. I called support back to get an explanation on the last e-mail I had just received and was again told the same thing as the first call, that a team would be back in contact with me within 24-48 hours via email and that I wouldn't be charged or should receive anymore e-mails requesting that I send the item back. Due to how inconsistent amazon has been up to this point, I started recording all of my calls. I also saved all of the emails I have up until now. I also took screen shots of the return order page that still shows the return as completed and received by amazon on June 24th. I'm really at a loss for what to do here. I don't have the return shipping receipt anymore since it was so long ago and I received confirmation that they received the item. When I returned the item, amazon allows you to return the item in it's regular product box without a cardboard shipping box to a UPS store. I suspect that between the UPS store and the Amazon warehouse that someone stole or replaced the drone. However since Amazon won't give me ANY information, I have no way to confirm that. It seems that every response I get back from Amazon on any of my requests for information is met with a "fuck you, pay me." from amazon. I assume they're going to charge my card for the $1000 soon. It's an Amazon Store credit card by Synchrony bank, so I have no clue how a credit dispute would work out in this case. If they charge me, would it even be worth brining a company like Amazon to small claims court? It feels like a VERY uphill battle in a case of he said, she said.
RESPONSE A: If you bounce the charge back,, you risk Amazon closing the account. The very first thing I would do would be to ask Amazon if you shipped back the wrong item, exactly what item did it receive? Surely Amazon can tell you what it received? This is a basic question, and it is probably one of the first questions a judge in small claims court would ask.
RESPONSE B: Are you sure that the emails are actually coming from Amazon?
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
A | POST: no obligation to refund these vet bills. I adopted a female dog several months ago from a Humane Society shelter. The adoption fee included spay/neuter surgery and I was given an official document signed by their vet certifying that my dog was sterilized. The Humane Society also states on their website that all adopted dogs are sterilized. A few months after the adoption, my dog started exhibiting signs of heat. I called the Humane Society to double-check if she had been sterilized, and they confirmed that she had been. I brought her to my vet to find out what was wrong. Over the course of several appointments, he examined her, gave her multiple tests, and put her on medication to try to figure out what was wrong. He couldn't figure it out, so he referred me to a specialist. The specialist did an ultrasound and was able to confirm that my dog had never been spayed. The total cost of all bills related to this issue was $677. I brought this to the attention of the Humane Society. They told me that sometimes this happens because their vets make mistakes about whether or not a dog has been sterilized. This was not mentioned in any of the documents I received during the adoption process. All of my documents from them guaranteed she was sterile. The Humane Society offered to spay her for free and to pay for half of my vet bills, but they said they are doing this as a kind gesture, and they are in no way obligated to pay for any of this. I cannot find any legal documentation on their site regarding whether or not they are responsible for false documents or incorrect medical information about a dog. From a legal standpoint, are they obligated to refund me for the money I had to pay because of their false information? Thanks for your help!
RESPONSE A: I can't help feeling that your vet was partially at fault for the extent of your bills. How did he/she not notice that there wasn't a scar from the spay? Why wouldn't an ultrasound be one of the first things he/she tried?
RESPONSE B: I am not a lawyer but since pets are property, and they said the property was spayed and it wasn't isn't that technically fraud?
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
B | POST: her to my vet to find out what was wrong. Over the course of several appointments, he examined her, gave her multiple tests, and put her on medication to try to figure out what was wrong. He couldn't figure it out, so he referred me to a specialist. The specialist did an ultrasound and was able to confirm that my dog had never been spayed. The total cost of all bills related to this issue was $677. I brought this to the attention of the Humane Society. They told me that sometimes this happens because their vets make mistakes about whether or not a dog has been sterilized. This was not mentioned in any of the documents I received during the adoption process. All of my documents from them guaranteed she was sterile. The Humane Society offered to spay her for free and to pay for half of my vet bills, but they said they are doing this as a kind gesture, and they are in no way obligated to pay for any of this. I cannot find any legal documentation on their site regarding whether or not they are responsible for false documents or incorrect medical information about a dog. From a legal standpoint, are they obligated to refund me for the money I had to pay because of their false information? Thanks for your help!
RESPONSE A: I am not a lawyer but since pets are property, and they said the property was spayed and it wasn't isn't that technically fraud?
RESPONSE B: > They told me that sometimes this happens because their vets make mistakes about whether or not a dog has been sterilized. Well it sure as fuck shouldn't jesus christ, I would be absolutely livid if a shelter worker told me that. Does your paperwork give you the name of the vet who did the spay/signed off on it? That's who your beef is with. Contact them directly, they need to cover your bills, they carry insurance for this type of thing. After you get your bills covered please contact the board of directors of that shetler. They are breaking state laws adopting out unfixed animals, the fact they are so lackadaisical about it is horrendous, California euthanises way too many unwanted dogs to have city run shelters adding to the problem.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
B | POST: Humane Society. They told me that sometimes this happens because their vets make mistakes about whether or not a dog has been sterilized. This was not mentioned in any of the documents I received during the adoption process. All of my documents from them guaranteed she was sterile. The Humane Society offered to spay her for free and to pay for half of my vet bills, but they said they are doing this as a kind gesture, and they are in no way obligated to pay for any of this. I cannot find any legal documentation on their site regarding whether or not they are responsible for false documents or incorrect medical information about a dog. From a legal standpoint, are they obligated to refund me for the money I had to pay because of their false information? Thanks for your help!
RESPONSE A: What's odd is that they couldn't tell she WASN'T spayed. Sometimes it can be difficult to tell if a dog WAS spayed, if the scar isn't visible and there's no tattoo (this happened to the dog I adopted from the shelter- they told me she hadn't been spayed and she had been. Didn't find out until they went in and found no uterus). I don't know if you're just curious about their legal obligation. I would be satisfied with them offering to spay her and split the vet bills, but that's just me.
RESPONSE B: > They told me that sometimes this happens because their vets make mistakes about whether or not a dog has been sterilized. Well it sure as fuck shouldn't jesus christ, I would be absolutely livid if a shelter worker told me that. Does your paperwork give you the name of the vet who did the spay/signed off on it? That's who your beef is with. Contact them directly, they need to cover your bills, they carry insurance for this type of thing. After you get your bills covered please contact the board of directors of that shetler. They are breaking state laws adopting out unfixed animals, the fact they are so lackadaisical about it is horrendous, California euthanises way too many unwanted dogs to have city run shelters adding to the problem.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
B | POST: sometimes this happens because their vets make mistakes about whether or not a dog has been sterilized. This was not mentioned in any of the documents I received during the adoption process. All of my documents from them guaranteed she was sterile. The Humane Society offered to spay her for free and to pay for half of my vet bills, but they said they are doing this as a kind gesture, and they are in no way obligated to pay for any of this. I cannot find any legal documentation on their site regarding whether or not they are responsible for false documents or incorrect medical information about a dog. From a legal standpoint, are they obligated to refund me for the money I had to pay because of their false information? Thanks for your help!
RESPONSE A: What's odd is that they couldn't tell she WASN'T spayed. Sometimes it can be difficult to tell if a dog WAS spayed, if the scar isn't visible and there's no tattoo (this happened to the dog I adopted from the shelter- they told me she hadn't been spayed and she had been. Didn't find out until they went in and found no uterus). I don't know if you're just curious about their legal obligation. I would be satisfied with them offering to spay her and split the vet bills, but that's just me.
RESPONSE B: IMHO you should take the deal. You could sue the Humane Society for fees, but remember you could lose and if you win -- it's money that is being taken away from a non-profit. You may be able to get them to give you a credit on the other half for a checkup/shots. You could off that they agree to give you all, but half in cash and the other half is forgiven as a tax-deductible donation (so you get to claim it on your taxes). There are lots of ways to try and negotiate something more fair. It also sounds like you need a better vet. Your vet should have second guessed the paperwork and surgery from a shelter and considered that she wasn't properly spayed at first. Multiple visits to find out she wasn't spayed or wasn't properly spayed is just ridiculous.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
A | POST: Can my employer charge every employee $5 every paycheck for “product loss”? I live in Missouri. I work at a restaurant that I love working in, but our owner does some weird things with payroll. First of all, he’s “scared” of doing direct deposit. On top of that, he knowingly uses a payroll system with vulnerabilities. I could live with paper checks, and I was able to hide my personal info. What really confuses me is charging EVERY employee $5 on EVERY paycheck for “product loss”. Servers, managers, cooks, bartenders, food runners, dishwashers, barbacks, and even security. Is he allowed to do this?
RESPONSE A: No. It's wage theft. However, it is very considerate of him to document it so nicely on everyone's paycheck. Your state Department of Labor would be a good starting point.
RESPONSE B: Unless he has your written approval to deduct from your pay, you should file a wage claim with your state's Dept of Labor.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
B | POST: Can my employer charge every employee $5 every paycheck for “product loss”? I live in Missouri. I work at a restaurant that I love working in, but our owner does some weird things with payroll. First of all, he’s “scared” of doing direct deposit. On top of that, he knowingly uses a payroll system with vulnerabilities. I could live with paper checks, and I was able to hide my personal info. What really confuses me is charging EVERY employee $5 on EVERY paycheck for “product loss”. Servers, managers, cooks, bartenders, food runners, dishwashers, barbacks, and even security. Is he allowed to do this?
RESPONSE A: Does it take you below minimum wage? Is this a set policy written and provided to everyone?
RESPONSE B: No. It's wage theft. However, it is very considerate of him to document it so nicely on everyone's paycheck. Your state Department of Labor would be a good starting point.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
A | POST: Can my employer charge every employee $5 every paycheck for “product loss”? I live in Missouri. I work at a restaurant that I love working in, but our owner does some weird things with payroll. First of all, he’s “scared” of doing direct deposit. On top of that, he knowingly uses a payroll system with vulnerabilities. I could live with paper checks, and I was able to hide my personal info. What really confuses me is charging EVERY employee $5 on EVERY paycheck for “product loss”. Servers, managers, cooks, bartenders, food runners, dishwashers, barbacks, and even security. Is he allowed to do this?
RESPONSE A: Unless he has your written approval to deduct from your pay, you should file a wage claim with your state's Dept of Labor.
RESPONSE B: Does it take you below minimum wage? Is this a set policy written and provided to everyone?
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
A | POST: they left my package unattended in the mailroom, but insists that there's nothing they can do to help me because it's marked as "delivered". I have been a prime member for years, and I have ordered hundreds and hundreds of items from amazon, many expensive, and I've never had an issue before, and I'm shocked that they're so unwilling to help me. I checked with the front desk and they thoroughly looked everywhere for the package, and I asked if there's video cameras in the mail room and there is not. Then I did go to the police and filed a theft report and mailed it to amazon, but as they've been unwilling to help me so far I don't think they will do anything for me now either. I would like to take further action here to get my money back. My friend suggested I call my bank and ask for a chargeback, but I'm worried that will hurt my credit. I'm also going to call visa and ask if they can somehow cover it. Beyond that I feel like I just lost $700 and can't get it back.
RESPONSE A: File a report with Amazon. You can do a charge back with your credit card. Note that Amazon may choose to freeze your account with them, which is their right. > My friend suggested I call my bank and ask for a chargeback, but I'm worried that will hurt my credit. Nope, that isn't how chargebacks work. Visa will freeze the charge while they investigate. They will either remove the charge (meaning you don't pay anything and Amazon doesn't get paid) or will keep it if they discover you're lying. > I'm also going to call visa and ask if they can somehow cover it. That is a waste of time. Your options with Visa is a charge back. They aren't going to pay for it out of the goodness of their hearts. Edit: It may be considered theft so worth a shot.
RESPONSE B: I'm surprised to find that your place doesn't have cameras there. Definitely file a report and show Amazon. Then talk with bank/credit union or card issuer about chargeback. Petty theft is petty. Good luck!
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
A | POST: police and filed a theft report and mailed it to amazon, but as they've been unwilling to help me so far I don't think they will do anything for me now either. I would like to take further action here to get my money back. My friend suggested I call my bank and ask for a chargeback, but I'm worried that will hurt my credit. I'm also going to call visa and ask if they can somehow cover it. Beyond that I feel like I just lost $700 and can't get it back.
RESPONSE A: Not a lawyer, but what service did they use to deliver the package? If I recall correctly when they ship with their own service (usually listed as AMZL US) they usually take a photo of the package and where they left it when it was delivered. I could be wrong about that, but I know they do it with mine and I’m not sure if I had to tick a box at some point to make that happen. If they did take a photo, it’s worth a look to see exactly where they left it. It may have just been plunked down in a random spot and left there all willy nilly. They can get creative or lazy with that mess at my house; I’ve had to crawl under my front porch to retrieve packages, found one hidden in a bush after looking for it for ages, had a few run over because they left it on the ground next to my post box and the wind blew it far enough into the street to be hit. They’re pretty shit at delivering. Personally speaking only, literally every package that they marked delivered that wasn’t actually received were all delivered by AMZL US. I have had to contact Amazon 12 separate times because the packages weren’t received at all. Like the others, file a police report and turn it into Amazon. Ask them for the exact date and time of the delivery (the big name carriers all track that) and turn that over to the police as well.
RESPONSE B: I'm surprised to find that your place doesn't have cameras there. Definitely file a report and show Amazon. Then talk with bank/credit union or card issuer about chargeback. Petty theft is petty. Good luck!
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
A | POST: . Leaving a $700 item out unattended in the mail room seems completely unacceptable to me. Amazon even admits that they left my package unattended in the mailroom, but insists that there's nothing they can do to help me because it's marked as "delivered". I have been a prime member for years, and I have ordered hundreds and hundreds of items from amazon, many expensive, and I've never had an issue before, and I'm shocked that they're so unwilling to help me. I checked with the front desk and they thoroughly looked everywhere for the package, and I asked if there's video cameras in the mail room and there is not. Then I did go to the police and filed a theft report and mailed it to amazon, but as they've been unwilling to help me so far I don't think they will do anything for me now either. I would like to take further action here to get my money back. My friend suggested I call my bank and ask for a chargeback, but I'm worried that will hurt my credit. I'm also going to call visa and ask if they can somehow cover it. Beyond that I feel like I just lost $700 and can't get it back.
RESPONSE A: I would call and talk to someone else at amazon, sometimes talking to a different customer service person works better. I have an interesting thing that has just happened; have this ring doorbell, it recorded the amazon delivery driver bringing my packages to the door, signing for my packages and leaving with my packages, ultimately the police found the boxes in the dumpster. I had to report it to the police before amazon would refund me my money, I know this is a different situation but amazon needed the police report to go after the driver but because they aren’t the victim at the moment there is not much they can do. Once you give them the police report they then become the victim and can decide to press charges. Once I gave them the police report number they gave me a refund
RESPONSE B: I'm surprised to find that your place doesn't have cameras there. Definitely file a report and show Amazon. Then talk with bank/credit union or card issuer about chargeback. Petty theft is petty. Good luck!
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
B | POST: 500+ units and the delivery driver just LEFT the package in the mailroom unattended as opposed to putting my package in a locker or leaving it at the front desk. In the past every package is either put into the hub/locker or left with the front desk. Leaving a $700 item out unattended in the mail room seems completely unacceptable to me. Amazon even admits that they left my package unattended in the mailroom, but insists that there's nothing they can do to help me because it's marked as "delivered". I have been a prime member for years, and I have ordered hundreds and hundreds of items from amazon, many expensive, and I've never had an issue before, and I'm shocked that they're so unwilling to help me. I checked with the front desk and they thoroughly looked everywhere for the package, and I asked if there's video cameras in the mail room and there is not. Then I did go to the police and filed a theft report and mailed it to amazon, but as they've been unwilling to help me so far I don't think they will do anything for me now either. I would like to take further action here to get my money back. My friend suggested I call my bank and ask for a chargeback, but I'm worried that will hurt my credit. I'm also going to call visa and ask if they can somehow cover it. Beyond that I feel like I just lost $700 and can't get it back.
RESPONSE A: I'm surprised to find that your place doesn't have cameras there. Definitely file a report and show Amazon. Then talk with bank/credit union or card issuer about chargeback. Petty theft is petty. Good luck!
RESPONSE B: If all else fails, try sending a succinct email to [email protected]. This is the equivalent of contacting executive customer service. You should note in the email that you are a frequent long term customer (if you are). If you are a newer customer or have lots of questionable returns they may not be so inclined to help. EDIT - not sure why this got downvoted. Oh well. It is good advice regardless. Good luck OP!
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
B | POST: New apartment tried to give me a not agreed upon floor plan and now won't refund me after their screw up. I feel like got completely screwed with this apartment. I was supposed to receive the key to my new place on Friday and had requested to do a walkthrough of my specific unit which they scheduled for Thursday. Come to find out at the walkthrough, they assigned me the wrong and much smaller floor plan which would not work for me or my belongings. It was confirmed after the leasing lady looked through my file they had indeed assigned me the wrong floor plan but yet the rent listed matched the "correct" floor plan (shady much?!). Moving forward they did not have any availabilities for the floor plan I needed and my only other options were to wait 3 more week for something that "should become available" or get an even bigger floor plan and pay 200 more in rent. I asked them if they could do anything to accommodate that considering the circumstances and was given a straight "no, there was nothing they could do with the price." There were two ladies in the office speaking with me and they both were extremely cold, showed no concern, or accountability for their inability to hold up their end of things. Instead, they had a "take it or leave it attitude" and wanted to force me into something I never intended on or agreed to. So, after dealing with a back & forth for two and a half hours. I asked for my admin/app fee ($325) and deposit ($250) back so that I could figure out another living arrangement. They refused, saying it was non refundable. In any other circumstance I get it, but my question is... considering their negligence, am I right in requesting a full refund of those fees. One of the ladies argued that they were giving me solutions (shared above) but I would not pick any. Again, why should I be forced into any solution that doesn't fit my needs, simply because the office couldn't do their job correctly?
RESPONSE A: Did you sign a lease?
RESPONSE B: I would escalate with management and then take them to small claims court.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
B | POST: overnight. During this period I called the boarding and I told them that the dragon under their care had to be held overnight in the hospital. When I called I said “I need to know the care you provided because my sisters dragon is being hospitalized”. I tried recording the conversation but my app didn’t work. During this conversation the man yelled at me and said that “the vets don’t know shit”, “they want money”, “they don’t know how I care for my animals”, “I fed, bathe and we sent photos” “I gave him mill worms”. I knew then that my sister told them specifically not to feed it mill worms because it didn’t sit well with the dragon and then I proceeded to say “I’m not calling to argue, I need to know how you cared for it so I can tell the vet, can I also get the photos you said you sent to my sister to see the time stamp” he then said he couldn’t get a hold of them and said I’ll need to call back. The vet report came back and said “gravid lethargy (suspect secondary to inappropriate husbandry while boarding).” The vet also said that it had a bacterial infection which is caused by dirty conditions. The final bill was $1295! The vet recommended for us to report it to the BBB. We want to take action but not sure what to do or how to do it. Do we have something here? I don’t think a google review is sufficient. TL:DR - sister’s dragon nearly died. Has a long recovery. Vet confirmed it’s from poor boarding conditions.
RESPONSE A: Review with pictures of the returned conditions, store is probably going to tell you to eat shit so prepare for having to go the legal route. Make your own logs and documentation, write out what you remember of the phone conversation.
RESPONSE B: “gravid lethargy (suspect secondary to inappropriate husbandry while boarding).” translates to "Your dragon was mated." If it's a female dragon, which "gravid" leads me to believe it is, it's pregnant. So your vet bills aren't over yet.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
B | POST: provide care overnight. During this period I called the boarding and I told them that the dragon under their care had to be held overnight in the hospital. When I called I said “I need to know the care you provided because my sisters dragon is being hospitalized”. I tried recording the conversation but my app didn’t work. During this conversation the man yelled at me and said that “the vets don’t know shit”, “they want money”, “they don’t know how I care for my animals”, “I fed, bathe and we sent photos” “I gave him mill worms”. I knew then that my sister told them specifically not to feed it mill worms because it didn’t sit well with the dragon and then I proceeded to say “I’m not calling to argue, I need to know how you cared for it so I can tell the vet, can I also get the photos you said you sent to my sister to see the time stamp” he then said he couldn’t get a hold of them and said I’ll need to call back. The vet report came back and said “gravid lethargy (suspect secondary to inappropriate husbandry while boarding).” The vet also said that it had a bacterial infection which is caused by dirty conditions. The final bill was $1295! The vet recommended for us to report it to the BBB. We want to take action but not sure what to do or how to do it. Do we have something here? I don’t think a google review is sufficient. TL:DR - sister’s dragon nearly died. Has a long recovery. Vet confirmed it’s from poor boarding conditions.
RESPONSE A: > I tried recording the conversation but my app didn’t work. I have nothing to add about this situation at large, but be careful with recording conversations in CA. You must make them aware you are doing so before recording anything.
RESPONSE B: “gravid lethargy (suspect secondary to inappropriate husbandry while boarding).” translates to "Your dragon was mated." If it's a female dragon, which "gravid" leads me to believe it is, it's pregnant. So your vet bills aren't over yet.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
A | POST: During this period I called the boarding and I told them that the dragon under their care had to be held overnight in the hospital. When I called I said “I need to know the care you provided because my sisters dragon is being hospitalized”. I tried recording the conversation but my app didn’t work. During this conversation the man yelled at me and said that “the vets don’t know shit”, “they want money”, “they don’t know how I care for my animals”, “I fed, bathe and we sent photos” “I gave him mill worms”. I knew then that my sister told them specifically not to feed it mill worms because it didn’t sit well with the dragon and then I proceeded to say “I’m not calling to argue, I need to know how you cared for it so I can tell the vet, can I also get the photos you said you sent to my sister to see the time stamp” he then said he couldn’t get a hold of them and said I’ll need to call back. The vet report came back and said “gravid lethargy (suspect secondary to inappropriate husbandry while boarding).” The vet also said that it had a bacterial infection which is caused by dirty conditions. The final bill was $1295! The vet recommended for us to report it to the BBB. We want to take action but not sure what to do or how to do it. Do we have something here? I don’t think a google review is sufficient. TL:DR - sister’s dragon nearly died. Has a long recovery. Vet confirmed it’s from poor boarding conditions.
RESPONSE A: “gravid lethargy (suspect secondary to inappropriate husbandry while boarding).” translates to "Your dragon was mated." If it's a female dragon, which "gravid" leads me to believe it is, it's pregnant. So your vet bills aren't over yet.
RESPONSE B: Obviously leave as many reviews online as you can. You can likely take this company to court for neglect. Serving the owner or collecting payment is another story. I’m sorry that happened to your pet. I hope the poor little guy recovers.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |
B | POST: . The following day, she took the dragon to the vet which they had to provide care overnight. During this period I called the boarding and I told them that the dragon under their care had to be held overnight in the hospital. When I called I said “I need to know the care you provided because my sisters dragon is being hospitalized”. I tried recording the conversation but my app didn’t work. During this conversation the man yelled at me and said that “the vets don’t know shit”, “they want money”, “they don’t know how I care for my animals”, “I fed, bathe and we sent photos” “I gave him mill worms”. I knew then that my sister told them specifically not to feed it mill worms because it didn’t sit well with the dragon and then I proceeded to say “I’m not calling to argue, I need to know how you cared for it so I can tell the vet, can I also get the photos you said you sent to my sister to see the time stamp” he then said he couldn’t get a hold of them and said I’ll need to call back. The vet report came back and said “gravid lethargy (suspect secondary to inappropriate husbandry while boarding).” The vet also said that it had a bacterial infection which is caused by dirty conditions. The final bill was $1295! The vet recommended for us to report it to the BBB. We want to take action but not sure what to do or how to do it. Do we have something here? I don’t think a google review is sufficient. TL:DR - sister’s dragon nearly died. Has a long recovery. Vet confirmed it’s from poor boarding conditions.
RESPONSE A: Obviously leave as many reviews online as you can. You can likely take this company to court for neglect. Serving the owner or collecting payment is another story. I’m sorry that happened to your pet. I hope the poor little guy recovers.
RESPONSE B: Review with pictures of the returned conditions, store is probably going to tell you to eat shit so prepare for having to go the legal route. Make your own logs and documentation, write out what you remember of the phone conversation.
Which response is better? RESPONSE |