Datasets:

solomonk

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reddit_mental_health_posts

like 28

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-07-11T11:36:51.000Z

cbuovq

ptsd

I’ve found my peace, but the night still haunts me.

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cbuovq/ive_found_my_peace_but_the_night_still_haunts_me/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-07-11T09:38:22.000Z

cbtqfp

ptsd

PTSD poem full version

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cbtqfp/ptsd_poem_full_version/

Ec_centric

For a bit of backstory, I've been struggling with PTSD since I was very young. I've struggled with identifying and expressing emotions my whole life because of this. A have quite a few explicit memories of things that occured; more so snapshots of events or a couple of phrases. My problem is I don't think I remember a lot of the things that caused my PTSD and the ones I do give me the feeling they were common occurrences, something that I know is true. There's been multiple occasions where I've brought up what I thought was a funny or sweet memory only for mom to tell me that something horrible happened immediately before/after. I brought this up to my psychiatrist and asked her if she thought it was possible that some of my memories might be sort of blocked off due to trauma. "No." She insists it's not possible. But I *know* that some therapies focus on recovering buried memories. And the severity of some of my panic attacks in reaction to certain things leave me drawing a blank. I know for a fact that as a child my parents were constantly fighting, but I only have one memory of this actually occuring. Basically, I'm curious if I'm just being paranoid and looking for problems that aren't there. I've never really had an amazing long term memory, which is a very plausible explanation, but I don't understand why I can't remember so many of the events that still haunt me. At the very least I want to find a better explanation than "that doesn't happen". I trust my psychiatrist but I'd really like a second opinion.

2019-07-11T06:55:36.000Z

cbsiwf

ptsd

Recovering Memories

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cbsiwf/recovering_memories/

forlbw

Post-traumatic stress disorder symptoms may start within one month of a traumatic event, but sometimes symptoms may not appear until years after the event. These symptoms cause significant problems in social or work situations and in relationships. They can also interfere with your ability to go about your normal daily tasks. PTSD symptoms are generally grouped into four types: intrusive memories, avoidance, negative changes in thinking and mood, and changes in physical and emotional reactions. Symptoms can vary over time or vary from person to person. **Intrusive memories** Symptoms of intrusive memories may include: * Recurrent, unwanted distressing memories of the traumatic event * Reliving the traumatic event as if it were happening again (flashbacks) * Upsetting dreams or nightmares about the traumatic event * Severe emotional distress or physical reactions to something that reminds you of the traumatic event **Avoidance** Symptoms of avoidance may include: * Trying to avoid thinking or talking about the traumatic event * Avoiding places, activities or people that remind you of the traumatic event **Negative changes in thinking and mood** Symptoms of negative changes in thinking and mood may include: * Negative thoughts about yourself, other people or the world * Hopelessness about the future * Memory problems, including not remembering important aspects of the traumatic event * Difficulty maintaining close relationships * Feeling detached from family and friends * Lack of interest in activities you once enjoyed * Difficulty experiencing positive emotions * Feeling emotionally numb **Changes in physical and emotional reactions** Symptoms of changes in physical and emotional reactions (also called arousal symptoms) may include: * Being easily startled or frightened * Always being on guard for danger * Self-destructive behavior, such as drinking too much or driving too fast * Trouble sleeping * Trouble concentrating * Irritability, angry outbursts or aggressive behavior * Overwhelming guilt or shame For children 6 years old and younger, signs and symptoms may also include: * Re-enacting the traumatic event or aspects of the traumatic event through play * Frightening dreams that may or may not include aspects of the traumatic event

2019-07-11T06:34:14.000Z

cbsci5

ptsd

Most common symptoms of PTSD

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cbsci5/most_common_symptoms_of_ptsd/

4fauxsake

Two years ago, I made my first of three suicide attempts. Along with my untreated Manic Depression,my PTSD was unbearable. I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t go out anywhere, touch or noise could send me into a flash back or panic and I didn’t want to face another 40 years of hell. After some time in hospital, a ridiculous amount of hard work, my amazing therapist, some great meds, and a tribe of humans that I couldn’t have survived without, I was told today by my treatment team that I don’t have enough symptoms anymore to be classified as having PTSD. I just needed to share. I’m very proud of myself.

2019-07-11T06:29:33.000Z

cbsb2l

ptsd

Two years ago I gave up - today I found out I “no longer qualify to have a PTSD diagnosis”

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cbsb2l/two_years_ago_i_gave_up_today_i_found_out_i_no/

[deleted]

TRIGGER WARNING: Sexual Abuse This happened today. I was having enjoyable sex with my boyfriend, and after we were finished, he left. I was in a giddy after sex sort of mood afterward, but then I started to turn a bit reflective. This is my first boyfriend. I’m a 17 year old female. At that point I thought that he was the first one I’ve ever done anything sexual with. Then a thought that I’ve usually always pushed away popped up. “How come before him, the feeling and taste of a penis felt so familiar?” I began to really try thinking long and hard about all of the penises I’ve seen in real life. Most of them were in an accidental context except for one. I’ve seen this mental image before in my head, but pushed it away for some reason I didn’t know. Then I tried to focus in on it. I noticed something. Orange paint on the walls. My brother’s room. As I noticed this, an overwhelming number of images came flashing in my head. I was play wrestling with my brother (like we always did). I was around 4, he was around 12. I felt something hard coming from his sweatpants. At this point I’ve likely heard the word “penis,” but had no idea what it really was until a bit later. Again, I was around 4. He waited a bit and he slid his sweatpants down a little bit. I looked at it, probably very confused. He grabbed my hand and made me touch his penis. I don’t remember if he said anything during this, probably not. But I do remember him pushing my head down a little and asking me to suck it. I reluctantly sucked at the head, but I guess he felt my teeth too much and/or felt guilty and he asked me to stop and to never tell mom or dad or anyone about it. That’s it. That’s the memory. After my boyfriend left, I texted him about this. He asked me if I was sure and after some talking, he didn’t really know what to say. I told him how I felt disgusting because it was not only forced, I was a child and this was my brother. I’ve always looked up to my brother. He was always cool, stoic, and handsome. He’s just a male role model. After finally recalling this after good therapy, sex, and some introspection, I don’t want to look my brother in the eyes. I don’t know what to think. I don’t know whether he remembers or not. Whether I should tell him. All I know is that if I tell my mother about this, she will very likely take my brother’s side. He’s the favorite, she always protects him, and she has been very frustrated with me lately. I’ve been a bit rebellious and she doesn’t really trust me anymore. It sucks. I’ve been thinking about this memory nonstop since I’ve uncovered it. It’s really starting to mess with me. Plenty of things are starting to make sense: my hypersexuality, my knowledge about sex from a very early age, my knowledge of the male genitalia even more than my own, the way my brother detaches himself from me almost as if he feels guilty.... I just want to get my story out there. Why now? How do I continue further? Also, I apologize that my writing is all over the place. I just need to get this off my chest and I don’t really know what to do with this flood of information.

2019-07-11T04:36:01.000Z

cbrbs5

ptsd

After “forgetting” about my abuse, I’ve finally recalled it, 13 years later.

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cbrbs5/after_forgetting_about_my_abuse_ive_finally/

HoldUp--What

Content warning for CSA: A friend and I were sitting around between classes a couple years ago. We weren't close friends--we might grab lunch between classes or get a smoke break together but we never hung out outside of school hours, but he was easy to talk to, and we talked a lot. We were in nursing school. I can't remember what unit we were covering but I believe sexual abuse was part of it. He mentioned that he had been sexually abused by a relative when he was younger, and I said "me, too." And he just paused and said, "It wasn't your fault, you know." In that moment it felt like something broke in me. He didn't know the circumstances, didn't know anything about what had happened except that it *had* happened, but he said it with such simple conviction that told me he was absolutely positive it was true. So many years of guilt, and shame, and secrecy. Only a few people knew/know about it, and at that point I had never talked about my feelings about it. But somehow he knew that I needed to hear that it wasn't my fault. *It wasn't my fault.* Someone who hasn't been through trauma wouldn't realize what a huge thing that was, that he said that to me. A long while later, my fiance (now husband) and I were drunk. He knew I'd been abused and encouraged me to open up about it, but I always refused. The shame is just so huge in me, it's impossible to talk about. There was something I'd never told anyone, and I was convinced he'd be so repulsed if he knew that he'd leave. But being drunk, I decided it was only fair that he knew, because secrets don't make a healthy marriage and I should give him the chance to back out. So I told him: "I never asked him to stop. Not because I wanted it to continue--I didn't. But I never said a word to him while it was happening. I never tried to stop it." And he just said, "Okay." When I pressed (*what do you mean okay, it's so fucked up, I'M so fucked up*) he continued, "You were a CHILD. A teenager. You were scared. I don't know what I would have done in that situation, even as an adult. You can't blame yourself. It wasn't your fault." There it was again. "It wasn't your fault." Sometimes the guilt and shame still feel like an ocean crashing down on me, but I try to remember... The two people in the world who know the most shameful facet of my history feel that it wasn't my fault. Maybe they're right.

2019-07-11T04:20:35.000Z

cbr6ly

ptsd

"It wasn't your fault, you know": a moment that changed me

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cbr6ly/it_wasnt_your_fault_you_know_a_moment_that/

WineInTheTub

Currently going to cognitive therapy for sever PTSD. I feel crazy, out of control of my emotions, and have a lot of negative self talk. Self talk usually telling me I’m crazy or that I’m overreacting. Its almost like imposter syndrome. Like one part of me is living with the trauma and is really struggling and the other part is fighting back, in denial that it ever happened. I don’t have a strong community of those dealing with PTSD and it can be very isolating. My partner is amazing but doesn’t fully understand psychiatric disorders. I am debating going on an antidepressant as I have been falling back into depression. I just feel crazy. Am I crazy? Is this normal? Drowning here.

2019-07-11T04:04:33.000Z

cbr18v

ptsd

I feel crazy. Am I crazy?

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cbr18v/i_feel_crazy_am_i_crazy/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-07-11T03:28:53.000Z

cbqoss

ptsd

PTSD has made me feel like someone is going to murder me. Please help!

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cbqoss/ptsd_has_made_me_feel_like_someone_is_going_to/

Kiwi-licious

When I get like this I feel like I want to go to sleep and I don’t want to wake up. It’s going to pass, I know... But when the sudden urge to want to die hits, it feels like it will last an eternity. I needed to get it out to help me feel better and not so alone. If you feel the same and you’re reading this let’s hang on together.. This will pass...

2019-07-11T03:18:07.000Z

cbql12

ptsd

suicidal episode

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cbql12/suicidal_episode/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-07-11T02:22:51.000Z

cbq154

ptsd

Why people and doctors have to atop confusing C-PTSD with schizophrenia

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cbq154/why_people_and_doctors_have_to_atop_confusing/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-07-11T00:44:13.000Z

cbozse

ptsd

I feel so exhausted.

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cbozse/i_feel_so_exhausted/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-07-10T23:33:41.000Z

cbo7mk

ptsd

I feel trapped and I don't know what to do

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cbo7mk/i_feel_trapped_and_i_dont_know_what_to_do/

agirlhasnoname17

So I have PTSD (duh) and general anxiety disorder, but I don’t know if I have ADD as well. Basically I have to multi-task all the time, like if I stop, something terrible will happen. I can’t even lie down and rest, even though I’m physically disabled. Again, I feel like if I lie still, I’ll go crazy. Any ideas what this is? How do I explain this to my husband?

2019-07-10T22:54:35.000Z

cbnrjt

ptsd

Possible ADD? Thoughts?

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cbnrjt/possible_add_thoughts/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-07-10T22:49:39.000Z

cbnpga

ptsd

Losing friends after PTSD?

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cbnpga/losing_friends_after_ptsd/

PiNe__ApP-LE

Her (20something female) and I (26f) are in a PTSD PHP program together. She has DID (for those of you that don’t know, dissociative identity disorder, which is the new name of multiple personality disorder. When she dissociates she has various “parts” that may emerge, her most common part is a little girl) and dissociates into one of her identities on a daily basis. I know VERY little about her history because you even mention the word “abuse” and she’s gone. It’s so sad. I’ve been offering her support outside of program hours and we’ve become close; she has started reaching out to me without prompts when she is struggling which makes me happy that she feels that comfort with me. Today was HUGE for her and I’m so incredibly proud of her, we did a guided meditation today in our final group. As soon as we were told that was happening I turned to her and mouthed “will you be okay?” Because every time we’ve done meditation in the past she dissociates. I couldn’t tell what she mouthed back to me but she stayed seated so I was like okay hopefully she’ll make it through, was surprised she didnt up and leave group for that part but it’s her decision obviously. At the end of 10 minutes it wrapped up. I noticed her eyes were still closed and immediately thought “shit she’s gone” I called out her name and to my biggest surprise she opened her eyes turned and looked at me and smiled. MY HEART ALMOST BURST I WAS SO HAPPY. She’s been talking a lot to me recently about how horribly depressed she is about her DID and how she has no hope for the future and just wants to die because “nothing will ever change”. But everyone there is hope!!!! She made it!!!!! And she actually thanked ME for encouraging her to stay for it, I was confused since I didn’t really do that when I realize she thought I had mouthed to her “you will be okay” versus “will you be okay” part of me feels bad because I never want to push her to do something she’s not comfortable with and this easily could have ended up with her dissociating and her other part coming out, but it didn’t so I’m trying to stay positive. Happy little misunderstanding! I’m just so, so, so gosh darn proud of her I could cry and happy for her. I don’t have DID but I do dissociate, and she reminds me a lot of myself about 4 years ago. I was at an inpatient treatment center and dissociated almost everyday and was completely hopeless. But I had people there to encourage me, just like I’m trying to do for her. All I want to do is give her a big bear hug but that’s a no-no so instead I gave her a bad ass high five. People:: there is hope. There is so much hope and there is always hope and if you can’t see it right now, find someone who CAN see it and try, even just a little, to believe them. I know it’s there because I am drastically better than when I started on the recovery journey. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, maybe not even next month, but little by little you will start to see the hope that is there, and that has always been there. Keep fighting, all of you have it in you. If anyone ever needs an encouraging word or someone to vent to, I am happy to help support you. My heart goes out to all of you. Peace ✌️

2019-07-10T22:34:54.000Z

cbnjdw

ptsd

I’m so so proud of my friend but I don’t have anyone to gush to about it. THERE IS ALWAYS HOPE

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cbnjdw/im_so_so_proud_of_my_friend_but_i_dont_have/

MidnaTheWise

I saw Midsommar yesterday and I had a complete breakdown, sobbing in my seat at the end of the movie. When I was younger, I used to thrive on watching horror movies but lately I can't handle it anymore. There is a scene where it appears a character was raping another (later finding out, he was just wearing his flesh while hitting him over the head with a hammer) and it immediately triggered me to the point I had an argument with my boyfriend about it. All of which boils down to my rapist calling me out on social media with screenshots of my anxiety attack the following morning of the rape. It has been very difficult to work through and I'm surprised what details cause me to cry along with hating myself even more. For those who have gotten through their rape experience - how have you coped? What was the boiling point? I feel like my emotions are unfair to my partner of 2 years but he told me that I don't get to decide how he loves me. It's just been a lot. On top of the fact, I have a goiter and am getting it removed on July 29th. **So my final ask - how did you guys get over your rape if you have experienced that?**

2019-07-10T21:14:20.000Z

cbmk88

ptsd

Recovering emotionally after rape & upcoming thyroid surgery

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cbmk88/recovering_emotionally_after_rape_upcoming/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-07-10T20:50:43.000Z

cbm9lo

ptsd

What am I actually supposed to do?

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cbm9lo/what_am_i_actually_supposed_to_do/

skemez1

[A Requiem for PTSD (Video)](https://challenge.musicbed.com/submissions/a-requiem-4-ptsd/DyjWzs) At the tender age of 19 year old my uncle Alan Greenblatt was involved in a devastating motor vehicle accident that changed the course of his life forever. He suffered many life changing physical injuries as well as emotional trauma that still affects him to this day. Despite everything he has overcome all odds and is fighting to live everyday. He is a PTSD survivor and a true inspiration. This is his story....

2019-07-10T19:50:30.000Z

cblibh

ptsd

Alan Greenblatt shares his story

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cblibh/alan_greenblatt_shares_his_story/

Draculalia

I want to make a visual reminder that a past relationship is not the same as my present relationship. They are 10 years apart and not in same apartment. I’m an artist and a writer and can probably make something neat, but I don’t know what. Any ideas? Thanks!

2019-07-10T16:01:01.000Z

cbij9a

ptsd

That was then. This is now.

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cbij9a/that_was_then_this_is_now/

rationedtoast

For a while now, I get overwhelmed by sensory overload. It isn’t too extreme but I know that my eyes would suddenly hate the light and I can’t mentally process whatever needs to be done in front of me. My eyes just zig zag it’s way hoping it could stare at something not as overwhelming.

2019-07-10T14:51:20.000Z

cbhnrl

ptsd

Can sensory overload come with PTSD?

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cbhnrl/can_sensory_overload_come_with_ptsd/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-07-10T14:06:14.000Z

cbh4po

ptsd

a lot of repressed trauma and shame TW: sexual assault

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cbh4po/a_lot_of_repressed_trauma_and_shame_tw_sexual/

crappy_bob

Does anyone here cry at "inappropriate" times? I find myself welling up with tears when I talk to other people. I do not sob but I have to wipe the tears away to continue talking. This does not happen all the time. It happens at times when I have been thinking about the trauma or I'm n a cycle where I am having bad dreams. Yesterday I met a guy who casually mentioned in detail some horrible stuff he lived through. He began to well up and wipe the tears away and continue talking. This continued well after we changed the subject. How do you all deal with this? EDIT: Thank you all for your responses. This has been tremendously helpful. I really thought I was the only person in the world like this.

2019-07-10T13:06:29.000Z

cbgh9e

ptsd

Crying

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cbgh9e/crying/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-07-10T12:39:11.000Z

cbg7fr

ptsd

Blank Mind with Anxiety...?

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cbg7fr/blank_mind_with_anxiety/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-07-10T08:30:24.000Z

cbe3v6

ptsd

Back on medication after 4 years.

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cbe3v6/back_on_medication_after_4_years/

Sassubus

2 months ago today I finished being in labour for 84 hours. The pain of the contractions was similar enough to abuse I've suffered that I was triggered horribly. I had to have my husband talk to me through them so I didn't risk lashing out at the midwives in blind panic. I know I'm not the only one that hates seeing a loved one having to see us go through that. He knows a lot of my history but until I was pregnant my husband had never seen a panic that didn't have an outside trigger. There was nothing he could do to stop it though he did admit after that if I had said no to the epidural in the labour room he was going to find a way to go around me, for my own sake. The midwife honestly looked like she would have been tempered to help especially since she told me to get one instead of suggesting it. Not that I needed convincing. I hadn't slept in 2 days and still had to give birth. It took a long while to shake off the feel of that panic and helplessness but seeing my healthy, happy bub helps a lot. I don't regret going through that for him, but I've never wished more that during that 84 hours that I didn't have to go through my abuse to begin with. Luckily, I'm doing better and am stable when dealing with my mother (abuser/enabled other abuse). The labour made me realize her behaviour put my son at risk and if I get blinded by panic and rage when even hearing about her she still controls me and that just gives the triggers more power. I just wanted to share cause I'm happy with my progress, even if it's only a little, and wanted to share with others who could understand.

2019-07-10T06:24:13.000Z

cbd2l7

ptsd

84 hours of being triggered but I'm doing better.

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cbd2l7/84_hours_of_being_triggered_but_im_doing_better/

imcoping

cw: sexual assault, csa, psychosis a few nights ago i had the worst trauma nightmare of being sexually assualted by my neighbor (who is an old man). the nightmare took place in my living room, in the exact same spot where i was sleeping irl, and in the dream he smashed through the window to get in and assault me. when i woke up i thought it was real and because i had been on the edge of a psychotic episode before then, it sent me full off the cliff. i desperately called my psychiatrist sobbing when i woke up because i felt so scared and unsafe and ofc she didnt answer, because it was 2am. i wanted to run away to a safer place (not in rhe same room where i had jsut been assaulted in my dream) but i felt like if i moved i would be “found”/“seen”. i didnt sleep for the rest of the night because i was paranoid and having flashbacks and phantom hands. ever since then, my paranoia and my delusions and hallucinations have gotten so much worse. ive had persecutory delusions for a while but i cannot shake the feeling of intruders being in my house to harm me, and i am terrified to move in my own home. i always feel on edge and like a scared animal. im hallucinating sounds of the window smashing and the garage door opening (a common trigger for me as it signaled my dad being home: he abused me), as well as voices of intruders/their footsteps. i havent slept soundly for days and i just want to be able to sleep again and not feel so scared. ive called my psychiatrist 3 times and she wont answer and hasnt called me back. i dont take sleep aids because theyve worsened my nightmares before. i guess this post doesnt rly have a point, im just venting... spending hours alone in a dark house every night in the peak time of my paranoia, silent because everyone is sleeping, is driving me crazy. i cant keep functioning like this.

2019-07-10T04:59:03.000Z

cbcai1

ptsd

i feel like an animal!!!

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cbcai1/i_feel_like_an_animal/

sugarxxfree

I have a memory and I dont know if it's real or not. I have PTSD from something else, but if this is a real memory then I have to do something about it otherwise kids in my family are in danger. I don't know what to do.

2019-07-10T04:22:36.000Z

cbbxdu

ptsd

How to tell made up memories from real ones?

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cbbxdu/how_to_tell_made_up_memories_from_real_ones/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-07-10T03:53:57.000Z

cbbmix

ptsd

Cured.... Or not?

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cbbmix/cured_or_not/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-07-10T02:39:45.000Z

cbau0k

ptsd

will this leave a permanent mark on me?

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cbau0k/will_this_leave_a_permanent_mark_on_me/

Socl_suicd

I had some violent flashbacks and brutal compulsive images last night and I know I shouldn’t cut but it’s the only thing that gives me some sense of control right now. I’m losing everyone and everything because of what happened to me when I was younger and what I continue to allowed to happen to me as I got older. I’ve dumped all my trauma on the only person who has loved me unconditionally and now I may lose him too. Fuck what happened to me.

2019-07-10T02:39:03.000Z

cbatqf

ptsd

TW I’m cutting bc of the flashbacks

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cbatqf/tw_im_cutting_bc_of_the_flashbacks/

Harleygryl808

I have been out of work for the last 8.5 months due to severely debilitating PTSD symptoms. One day I was fine... productively busy but under a lot of stress and one day I wasn't. 20 years later, I was put right back where I started. Sadly, my boss triggers me to no end. I have asked for reasonable accommodations so that I can slowly reintegrate into work. These accommodations involved keeping me seperated from my bosses controlling, demeaning and manipulative ways by having no contact for several months and time to take "breaks". Its been a struggle. My employer refused to cooperate and provide accommodations until lawyers got involved and even then- they gave me the minimal which increases my likelihood of relapsing because the "alternate area" includes exposure to other "triggers". Before going on sick leave, I was well respected and sought after for the daily running of the business. Now, I am terrified of going to work. Just the idea of driving there and getting out of the car is giving me panic attacks. I have never felt so weak and terrified.... Anyone ever felt this way about returning to work? Am I just being too sensitive?

2019-07-10T02:22:24.000Z

cban98

ptsd

Terrified to go to work

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cban98/terrified_to_go_to_work/

Maritime_Fiction

Recently I started dating someone. I haven’t really dated anyone since I developed PTSD, and it feels weird. I’m worried to show that side of myself to this person that I like very much. I get panic attacks when we go to certain parts of town, and I just stifle them. It’s very frustrating, and I’m wondering if it gets better. I really like this person, I just don’t want to freak them out.

2019-07-10T01:01:01.000Z

cb9qvv

ptsd

Dating With PTSD

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cb9qvv/dating_with_ptsd/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-07-09T23:28:58.000Z

cb8oii

ptsd

I think I might have ptsd

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cb8oii/i_think_i_might_have_ptsd/

dooalicious

It's now been 2 days since I have eaten, just been so worried about everything. Wondered if this happens to anyone else and how do you cope. Looking for a chat to calm me down abit.

2019-07-09T23:26:38.000Z

cb8nk1

ptsd

Can't eat

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cb8nk1/cant_eat/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-07-09T21:27:18.000Z

cb75ck

ptsd

I need some advice or maybe just a pep talk

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cb75ck/i_need_some_advice_or_maybe_just_a_pep_talk/

babyfresno77

anybody else here just have anxiety upon waking for no good reason . today I woke up like I normally do with severe crippling anxiety but todays ,I cant see any reason for . I do therapy and take meds and have been doctor dx with ptsd for about 5 years . is there a way to figure out what my boggle is or am I just stuck being anxious for no apparent reason . anybody else exsperiance this ,how do you combat it ? thank you in advance for time!

2019-07-09T19:36:13.000Z

cb5o96

ptsd

unknown cause for anxiety

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cb5o96/unknown_cause_for_anxiety/

c21h30o2--

Trigger warning: vague mentions of domestic violence If this isn’t the place to post this, I’m sorry. I was diagnosed with PTSD and anxiety disorder a few years after a trauma I suffered when I was ten, but I had symptoms before then and I didn’t know why. I had “memories” of my father yelling at and abusing my mother from my really early childhood and my mom said I was afraid of him for most of my childhood because of it but until she told me this I had always thought the memories were bad dreams or that I had made it up. Her telling me that these things did in fact happen confirms that they weren’t dreams at all because I never told her about them but the stuff she described is exactly what happened in those “dreams.” I’m sorry if my writing doesn’t make sense. Has anything like this happened to anyone else?

2019-07-09T18:10:56.000Z

cb4ij8

ptsd

Anyone else have “nightmares” from their childhood that turned out to be real events?

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cb4ij8/anyone_else_have_nightmares_from_their_childhood/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-07-09T17:35:13.000Z

cb40xg

ptsd

Balance When Both Partners Have PTSD

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cb40xg/balance_when_both_partners_have_ptsd/

slayinscience

I was abused sexually as a child and have dealt with depression, anxiety, and PTSD symptoms my entire life (24F). Through a combo of therapy and meds, I have been PTSD symptom free for at least a year. However, I recently saw a picture of my abuser and now I'm having flashbacks, nightmares, insomnia, the whole package. For a bit I was unable to leave my house without hyperventilating. However, I've been self medicating (on top of my normal meds) with wax (marijuana) every night to at least help with the nightmares and insomnia. It's definitely helpful, but I can't shake the anxiety during the day or the occasional flashback. I'm also a terrible skin picker and it's very clear from the open sores I have all over that I'm struggling a bit. I've been recommended by friends to unpack my trauma with my therapist, but I just don't know if it's worth trying to do that. It's pretty well buried, minus the small blips of PTSD. Idk what I hope to gain from this post. Support and advice, I suppose? Idk just feeling more on edge today.

2019-07-09T16:36:37.000Z

cb38n0

ptsd

PTSD rearing it's ugly head -- advice?

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cb38n0/ptsd_rearing_its_ugly_head_advice/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-07-09T16:19:56.000Z

cb30ni

ptsd

Fear when attracted to someone

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cb30ni/fear_when_attracted_to_someone/

[deleted]

This is the first round of graduations since my trauma made me flunk university. I’m still nowhere in my life and I owe it to the days where I would be in my room screaming. I hate myself so much when I see people so fucking happy that they were I able to do basic shit that I struggled with and that they have a future.

2019-07-09T15:31:51.000Z

cb2dyf

ptsd

I hate this time of year.

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cb2dyf/i_hate_this_time_of_year/

jessay92

Hey all - I'm starting to seriously consider medication as the social isolation, flashbacks, panic attacks, and shame-induced anxiety have taken a turn for the worse for quite some time now (PTSD started in mid-2018). **Wondering what sort of meds any of y'all have been taking and whether it's been helpful or not?** In NYC, I've found it difficult to find a good psychiatrist that's in-network, so am thinking to see my GP with a tried and true mental list in mind. FWIW, my therapist is on board with the idea of medication. Currently prescribed Ambien for insomnia, but it exacerbates my symptoms when I take so I try to avoid. TYIA\~

2019-07-09T15:01:04.000Z

cb1zv9

ptsd

What meds are you taking, if any?

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cb1zv9/what_meds_are_you_taking_if_any/

BrightLordsDarkAcct

Its just an intake appointment. That's all. Get me to meet my counselor. I've used some words rather leniently trying to calm my emotions. I've realized so much with the gentle nudge of friends that I need help. I just feel so messed up I'm not sure if I want to know the full picture...but then I think of continuing to live like I have been and I know what I answer has to be. I haven't always been good. I have so many regrets. So many. I don't want them brought back. It's so painful. I'm not "old" but have spent a lifetime fighting myself. Others "may" have gotten in the way before. I hate myself so often. I was isolated, gay conversion style shit, bullied, set on fire, shot, fell head first out of the top of a tall tree to be saved literally be a U shaped branch that caught my ankle as my head dangled over a foot from the ground where I would've broken my neck, nearly thrown into the center of a very deep manure pond after being bound... and that's just the stuff I haven't deeply repressed. I've seen the actual insides of people before. Shit isn't suppose to be like this. I want a new fucking head. I'm doing it though. I can't do it by myself. There's too much shit and the pattern of self help is one that just keeps repeatedly failing me. Massive depression and anxiety are no way to live life, and I finally want to live. More importantly, I want to truly love. I want to feel love and I want to give love. I can't do that though if I'm just going to allow myself to cripple myself. Progress is always found by moving forward brave people.

2019-07-09T13:48:29.000Z

cb140q

ptsd

Today is the first therapy day. I'm terrified (trigger warning)

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cb140q/today_is_the_first_therapy_day_im_terrified/

weedislif

so a week ago my abuser went to visit my family, my mum and dad told him to leave and never come back, I'm surprised my dad did not kill him tbh. I still can't shake the feeling that he will try and find me. anyone else in this situation able to help me? I'm on the waitlist for a counselor.

2019-07-09T11:21:26.000Z

cazkfp

ptsd

help with being fucking scared.

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cazkfp/help_with_being_fucking_scared/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-07-09T10:51:39.000Z

cazapr

ptsd

Really need to vent

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cazapr/really_need_to_vent/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-07-09T10:09:32.000Z

cayxg7

ptsd

How I cleared my head from the confusions

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cayxg7/how_i_cleared_my_head_from_the_confusions/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-07-09T09:01:56.000Z

caycqz

ptsd

How do you deal with this?

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/caycqz/how_do_you_deal_with_this/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-07-09T07:16:50.000Z

caxhuc

ptsd

It's about sex, please be careful triggers within! NSFW

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/caxhuc/its_about_sex_please_be_careful_triggers_within/

HumacornheartsPizza

I was watching an episode of it’s always sunny in Philadelphia and randomly out of nowhere a re-enactment of almost my *exact* trauma happened. The series of events: - see the bit on the tv show - within 3 seconds begin to process it’s the exact same thing as my trauma - start to panic and say aloud to my gf “please don’t get triggered, please don’t get triggered” - Then by the 30 second mark I’m starting to cry - my gf is running to grab my Valium - start hyperventilating And within 60 seconds... It begins: A 20 minute episode which ended in me dissociating and displaying (my rare my but not unheard of DID symptoms) where an alter fronted and I was dissociated The reason I am writing through is because I am *so disturbed* at the velocity of the whole thing that I was screaming in the first place. While the screaming was happening she was in the next room because I eventually had to ask her to leave the room mid episode. Today is a life changing (and I do no say that lightly) day for her and we were celebrating and then this happened and I didn’t want her to see anymore of the 5? 10? minute episode that must have already gone on . I said “I am stifling this I need you to go” So when she left to the bedroom close by, it just flew out of control. I was crying hysterically and hyperventilating and then the hyperventilating that I could hear from a dissociated point of view had turned to screams. Screams of terror. Screams of fear. I’m surprised nobody called 911, but this is NYC, so I’m not surprised. I’ve never done that. Screamed. My trauma event anniversary will be 4 years in September and no sounds like that have ever happened and I’ve had horrific panic attacks and dissociative episodes. I eventually had to call her back in because I was scaring myself. She’s asleep next to me right now so I can’t talk to her about it and frankly I’m embarrassed- blood curdling screams from the living room... what a pleasant talk- I’m scared to hear what that sounded like. I don’t know why I’m so ashamed or scared but I’m really shaken. It’s 3:03 am, the episode began at 10:37pm and ended close to 11pm. Also- to top it off I feel like I ruined her special, special day and a wonderful dinner. Her historical day will be tainted with the sound of my screams despite what she’s already said- which is that I haven’t ruined anything and she had a great day. Sincerely, Shaken and Scared.

2019-07-09T07:05:31.000Z

caxe49

ptsd

Was screaming during panic attack tonight brought on by a trigger from a tv show- one the top 3 worst panic attacks I’ve ever had- I’m really scared and startled right now

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/caxe49/was_screaming_during_panic_attack_tonight_brought/

geminthesurf

My son has recently taken up making a specific noise that is triggering the heck out of me. It's a a funny noise and meant to be endearing. He knows I have PTSD, he doesn't know all the details and I'm not sure how to go about telling him that that particular sound is triggering me, without hurting him.

2019-07-09T06:40:00.000Z

cax623

ptsd

Triggering noise.

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cax623/triggering_noise/

rrr_rrr

I'm now reading [this](http://pete-walker.com/pdf/emotionalFlashbackManagement.pdf). It says: >When I encourage such clients to free-associate during their emotional flashbacks The paper doesn't give the details. How do you start to free-associate during your emotional flashbacks?

2019-07-09T06:20:50.000Z

cax01o

ptsd

How do you start to free-associate during your emotional flashbacks? (Emotional Flashback Management by Pete Walker)

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cax01o/how_do_you_start_to_freeassociate_during_your/

KittenBurglarr1975

I just got done crying because I actually feel safe right now. I haven't felt safe ever since he took everything from me. Only some of you know the severe abuse I went through for years and now I've been working on it in therapy and it's working. I want to get better. I want a future. I don't want to die anymore. I need to take care of myself now the way I should have been taken care of when I was a little girl. I know this might be a swing but I wish this feeling would never go away. I can't believe how I feel right now. I just. Two of my abusers are in prison and the other is dead. I won't get hurt again. I'm actually safe and surrounded by people who love me and would never hurt me. I've been doing so well.

2019-07-09T05:36:16.000Z

cawlkv

ptsd

Good vent

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cawlkv/good_vent/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-07-09T05:30:52.000Z

cawjs0

ptsd

I want to see a therapist and I have NO clue how to go about it.

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cawjs0/i_want_to_see_a_therapist_and_i_have_no_clue_how/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-07-09T05:05:06.000Z

cawb25

ptsd

Breaking down PTSD

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cawb25/breaking_down_ptsd/

bbbybrggs

I feel so alone whenever stuff like this happens. I was watching Midsommar and couldn’t handle it but I stayed for the whole movie because I love horror movies and the director. Now I feel like my skin is too tight and I want to throw up and scream and cry. I just wish I could enjoy a night with my friends without having to be traumatized

2019-07-09T03:57:44.000Z

cavn9d

ptsd

Got massively triggered watching a movie with friends

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cavn9d/got_massively_triggered_watching_a_movie_with/

pretend-its-good

I was raped. It’s been so long since and I’ve had such inconsistent help (nearly none at all) I don’t know whatS real. What if I made it up? How can I be sure this happened to me?

2019-07-09T02:57:31.000Z

cav0sm

ptsd

Was it real? (TW sexual assault, Rape.)

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cav0sm/was_it_real_tw_sexual_assault_rape/

fireflydoesreddit

So recently my company hired someone new, and the person looks a lot like the person who abused me when I was a kid. It kind of freaks me out, he has the same eyes and nose and he just looks like him. I feel like it's stupid, but sometimes when I see him around at work, I tense up and my brain just goes on red alert and I feel like I cant breathe. I feel bad, because it's not the guy's fault, and he's been nice so far, but I just cant look at him without being reminded of it. The real guy is dead so I dont know why I cant just focus and be okay... I don't really know what to do. I cant do anything like switching jobs or anything at the moment, and I'm trying to deal with it somehow. I've never been here before, I'm kind of new to reddit, but I thought maybe I could post this here and maybe ask for help? Or at least just get it off of my chest

2019-07-08T23:04:10.000Z

caseqd

ptsd

There's a new guy at work, and he reminds me of my abuser. (Triggers?)

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/caseqd/theres_a_new_guy_at_work_and_he_reminds_me_of_my/

ElectricViolence

I am a ghost, a hollow shell Between two worlds No heaven, no hell I won't lie to ease your mind I tell myself whatever helps me sleep at night Nothing is as it seems Monsters and demons are real I've seen some terrible things I have incredible nightmares when I sleep I feel a little crazy Just like I'm gonna drown It's rising all around me I'm anchored to the ground Until I feel the thunder Rage racing through my veins Some kind of primal hunger I'm fighting to contain

2019-07-08T20:50:07.000Z

caqqk4

ptsd

PTSD poem

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/caqqk4/ptsd_poem/

lilbll

[removed]

2019-07-08T20:04:35.000Z

caq5fm

ptsd

This online yoga course geared toward veterans with PTSD may be of interest to those who are looking to start a yoga practice.

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/caq5fm/this_online_yoga_course_geared_toward_veterans/

hooloovooblues

My emotional responses when I'm stressed or triggered are just completely overwhelming. Feels like equal parts anger and fear and it's just blinding. I'll be fine and then something small will happen, like the other day my partner slept in late, and I was just sobbing and furious and ruminating on every little thing that he had done to bother me and I couldn't shut it off. My PTSD is from an abusive relationship, so little innocuous things like that can flip a switch in my brain that says, "This is the other shoe dropping. You're being manipulated. Don't you look stupid now? Everyone shows their true colors eventually and you were stupid to let your guard down." He's a wonderful person and partner, but (particularly when I get stressed) my brain tells me that every minor thing is the real person behind the loving exterior. We've been together almost five years, he's going to get sick of this eventually. I hate it because I know that most of the time I am overreacting - but I also feel like my feelings will be disregarded when I have a legitimate concern because of how frightened I get about things that don't matter. It's exhausting. I hate myself. On the bright side, I'm starting grad school in August and I plan on trying EMDR since the student insurance is pretty good there.

2019-07-08T18:51:17.000Z

cap6ae

ptsd

Equal parts anger and fear.

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cap6ae/equal_parts_anger_and_fear/

throwwwawwwayyy234

I’m using a throwaway because my friends have found my Reddit. Today I was riding back from a work trip (2.5 hours) and I started to dissociate. This will happen occasionally, but I could not for the life of me ground myself. I was giving my arm and hand a mini massage, I stretched my arms, sang songs, chewed gum, etc. but nothing helped. I ended up pulling off the highway and just waiting it out. Any advice????

2019-07-08T17:06:14.000Z

canqly

ptsd

Dissociating while driving

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/canqly/dissociating_while_driving/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-07-08T16:40:10.000Z

cane9z

ptsd

31 M Army Vet

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cane9z/31_m_army_vet/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-07-08T16:09:54.000Z

can06z

ptsd

Married to PTSD

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/can06z/married_to_ptsd/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-07-08T15:45:53.000Z

camp1f

ptsd

Abstract Hallucinations, Anyone Else Get Them?

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/camp1f/abstract_hallucinations_anyone_else_get_them/

insanElf83

I had ptsd since age 12. The people I was hanging around then came to my house I told them they couldnt come in. As shutting the door a person with the 7 people breaking in the house put his foot between the door to stop me from closing it. I knew they did wrong and went into my kitchen to get a knife. By the time i got in the kitchen they had their own knifes out. I knew if i fought back i would die. Then the girl started to kiss me with one of my families knifes in her hand holding it up to my throat. She told me beg for my life. Then I did for about 10 or more minutes. Then another girl held me up about around the same time and told me to beg for my life. Then I went upstairs and the girl that first put the knife up to my throat did it again making me beg for my life for another 10 or more minutes. They stole stuff from my parents then left. In the same year another person I call a friend held me down while a kid tried to shoot my foot in but I move and he missed. Then they made me their slave and told me to clean up the house. I begged them to put the trash bags in the trash. They finally said ok to put the trash in the bin outside. Then I dropped the bags and ran to the nearest house after them trying to shoot me while running. I been through so much. People like to hurt me and abuse my trust in them so much. That till around 30 I was a hermit and tried to always to stay away from people. My school life was horrible people took my clothes off of me in the bathroom and I had to walk out naked in front of the school. The people on my high school wrestling team took naked pic of me in the locker room without consent. Spread it all across the school. I was beaten down by everyone growing up and still to this day. I do not feel human I feel like a toy for people to abuse and lie to always. I never ever had a friend that didnt try to fuck me over. I had a neighbor and I knew him longer then anyone else that he knew where I lived. He told eme he didn't want me in his parties and always told me to leave when there was a party. Later found out that every time he was away from me talked shit about and tried to put down my rep with everyone. I had a ex I met and was mentally fucked but I loved her. Since thee very beginning of our relationship cheated on me with over 70 different videos when I was with her. She lied to me told me she never fucked anyone as me watching it on porn almost daily. I feel like there is no hope for me. No one ever cared about me. By 31 from meds I been taking since 12 doe a disorder I never had. My 31 my liver failed from the meds. Then by 34 my heart failed from meds. I have no rights and fighting to get a life at age 35. I have never had anyone in my life that didnt want to fuck me over every step of the way. Mostly everyday I wish I could die cause there is no hope I dont trust people and probably never will.

2019-07-08T14:38:55.000Z

calur4

ptsd

I have cptsd...

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/calur4/i_have_cptsd/

Z16_189

Diagnosed with PTSD last year after a lifetime of denial. I was trying to figure out what's wrong with my wife's car this morning. Remote start won't work, yadda yadda. I got so mad all I could think about was how mad I was. I'm sitting in my living room waiting on the tow truck full of anxiety and adrenaline. PTSD sucks ass. I really don't know how I made it this far lol.

2019-07-08T14:21:11.000Z

caln1m

ptsd

Stress makes me a bumbling idiot.

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/caln1m/stress_makes_me_a_bumbling_idiot/

littleletto

Over the past 2 years I have suffered from anxiety, depression and ptsd after grief and trauma. Life has taken a turn, from lower than I ever though I would ever go, to where I am now. Things are not only better than before, they are better than they have ever been and yet I am struggling to process the good news. How did you respond to things looking up in your life? I feel like I am still caught up in the trauma, waiting for it all to fall apart again.

2019-07-08T12:50:04.000Z

cakmf4

ptsd

Can't process the good things

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cakmf4/cant_process_the_good_things/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-07-08T09:34:04.000Z

caiwei

ptsd

Can childhood abuse legitimately cause PTSD?

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/caiwei/can_childhood_abuse_legitimately_cause_ptsd/

AcidicSoapBox

Maybe I can get some advice. My girlfriend who is my ex now I guess, has PTSD from childhood trauma, neglect, abuse and loss. She is pregnant with my child and about 7-8 weeks in. She has been having bad stomach pains and fatigue. For the first part of our relationship we were perfect. Then one day she just 180 degree changed. Since then we have been rocky. She doesn't communicate and it's like pulling teeth to get her to Express herself in anyway except anger and lashing out. Well she left me and moved back in with her ex that she has a child with. She didnt tell me, she just took all her stuff and left. I tried to be really supportive and be the best I could for her. Her ex is abusive emotional and physically. Why choose him over me. I know her other child is there fulltime but she could spend time with him whenever she liked. Idk....

2019-07-08T07:52:52.000Z

cai5gr

ptsd

Gf has PTSD and left me while I was hiking...

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cai5gr/gf_has_ptsd_and_left_me_while_i_was_hiking/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-07-08T07:48:08.000Z

cai48n

ptsd

Is this normal/has anyone felt this? Triggering material NSFW

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cai48n/is_this_normalhas_anyone_felt_this_triggering/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-07-08T06:35:11.000Z

cahjce

ptsd

Help me help my 7yo with a recent exacerbation of fight or flight, please. TIA!

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cahjce/help_me_help_my_7yo_with_a_recent_exacerbation_of/

[deleted]

I started seeing my therapist about 3 months ago and I've only mentioned how I felt about what happened. I talked about how I thought I was a target because he may have been jealous of me? Obviously, that might not be true considering the fact that he did it to multiple little kids but I still feel like it has some truth to it. Another time, I mentioned that I felt like I was disgusting. Both times my therapist kind of reacted in a way that he was judging me but eventually told me that he understands why I would feel that way. It makes me feel kind of nervous to share more of my feelings with him because he always asks questions or makes a face like he doesn't understand why I would feel that way. I've already told him that I was confused about how I felt about the event and I still feel confused by it. I only recently came to the conclusion that I am hurt, angry, and disgusted by what happened. The only reason why I feel disgusting is that obviously my body was used to hurt me and anything sexual that happens to my body makes me uncomfortable like it's going to be "dirty" for the rest of my life. Do you guys have any advice on how I can approach how this made me feel to my therapist? I'm not sure if I am overreacting because he validated my feelings later in the session but it made me feel judged or like he might not be able to understand.

2019-07-08T05:25:23.000Z

cagyu2

ptsd

Am I being too sensitive?

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cagyu2/am_i_being_too_sensitive/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-07-08T05:11:51.000Z

cagupv

ptsd

i’m at a really low point and going through my iphone notes (even though i know it will make things worse) and found this and even though i wrote it over a year ago i still feel stuck in the same place and feel like this is the perfect explanation of how my ptsd manifests

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cagupv/im_at_a_really_low_point_and_going_through_my/

RockClimbRanger

Can someone help me get a little better understanding on something I think I witnessed. I can only describe it as I think I saw 2 episodes triggered within a day of each other with the 2nd occurring while the Vet was still in the 1st episode. I volunteer in teaching and mentoring Vets in business concepts, management and networking. I visit the center every 3rd week for 5 hours each of Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday. While at the center on a Wednesday, one of the regular clients was out in a common area and had a big trigger, I believe from something he was reading. It’s effect was dramatic and pretty debilitating. A couple friends got him home. I have read and heard often that it is not uncommon for the really bad parts of an episode to last 48 hours. To my surprise he returned the next day, still showing signs of the bad episode. I asked a therapist if that was unusual for him to come back the next day. The therapist told me that when this Vet has episodes, they are intense and long. But that he drives himself to try to carry on and will usually come back the next day and push through his activities, sessions and classes . On that next day, the Vet experienced another big, and I think different, trigger. His resulting emotional state was definitely worse than before. My question is, can I get some info/description on what it is like to have bad triggers so close together with the 2nd coming while the individual is still in the episode from the first trigger? Is it a compounding of the mental/physical health pain level... e.g. it the pain from the first is an 8 out of 10, and the second is a big trigger, does the pain stay the same, go to 10, or somehow go over 10? Does it turn a 48 hour episode into a much longer episode than just adding an additional 48 hours? Is it more incapacitating with the 2nd? Is a double like this rare? Anything else anyone might offer? Thank you very much in advance.

2019-07-08T05:01:15.000Z

cagrgu

ptsd

Help understanding a ?double episode?

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cagrgu/help_understanding_a_double_episode/

sistersick

I can’t bear to think about it. all I can do is repress it. Distract myslef. Come up with fantasy situations and pathetic spin offs of what happened to me to cope with it so I don’t question if it was my fault. I get so invested that I can almost forget reality But when it hits me. I can’t take it. I really. Really. Really. Can’t There are more people like her. There are more victims like m e. Making the same mistakes I did. Getting groomed same way I did. I can’t handle the fact that pedophiles are everywhere. They are everywhere. I can’t handle knowing that peopel will call me a sensitve baby and a snowflake for saying I think it’s fucked up for people to draw porn of kids. I can’t handle people saying they’re anti censorship and pulling all these reasons out of their ass why it’s ok to draw child porn. I can’t handle how stupid and little and childish they make me feel for thsi hurting me so badly. Even if I’m not looking st them i know they’re there. I don’t look at them but I know they’re there People like her. All her pedophile friends who attacked me on her behalf and call me crayz and delusional and an attention whore bitch for saying what she did to me I’m the crazy one. I’m the crazy one for being groomed by an adult who likes to look at porn of kids and have sex with minors it’s all ME IM CRAZY. Me. I’ll never get justice I’m just a joke. Just have to live with knowing this happened to me but she’s alright. She doesn’t face the consequences of taking advantage of a child and getting off to child pornography it’s ok. Knowing peopel create and consume cp every day thinking there’s nothing wrong with what they’re doing. Knowing this happens to kids every day and people even younger than me getting hurt by people even older than her . It’s ok it’s ok

2019-07-08T04:21:02.000Z

cagepn

ptsd

The pain doesn’t go away with time TW

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cagepn/the_pain_doesnt_go_away_with_time_tw/

Kiwi-licious

Anyone else feel this way? I am triggered by anything that has to do with pornography or objectification and just now I was watching a show and someone made a passing comment and I had to turn it off. I keep thinking I just want to die. The trigger put that thought in my head and I can’t function normally. I’m trying to get to sleep and was hoping that by letting it out that it would lessen or go away. I’m tired and it makes my triggers WORSE!!! if I had a full tank of energy and felt 100% it would be easier to manage. I have been tired all weekend and so triggers have been everywhere. I had been doing great for some time too. Man, you just don’t know when it is going to strike again

2019-07-08T01:49:32.000Z

caexvg

ptsd

Being tired makes Triggers WORSE!

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/caexvg/being_tired_makes_triggers_worse/

marblepalace77

Do ppl with PTSD also get paranoia like BPD ( Ive read many with bpd also have ptsd ). Do you have trust issues or attachment issues at first like codependency, but then get paranoid of them and scared they'll become hostile, leave you or die ? What kind of dissociation and / or psychosis can occur with PTSD. Do they treat it with anti-anxiety, antipsychotic meds or mood stabilizers ? It all seems so complicated.

2019-07-08T00:29:14.000Z

cae5de

ptsd

PTSD and BPD and psychosis

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cae5de/ptsd_and_bpd_and_psychosis/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-07-07T23:03:03.000Z

cad9ks

ptsd

I love you guys but we cannot diagnose you.

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cad9ks/i_love_you_guys_but_we_cannot_diagnose_you/

[deleted]

I’ve been wanting to talk to someone about this. Three days ago there were 2 earthquakes in California. The second one is the one that impacted me the most, I was pretty calm after it happened, but afterwards I started to search it up on my phone, and I came across the fault of San Andreas. After reading more and more about it, I just started to get really paranoid. I thought that another earthquake was gonna happen and I was gonna die. I remember staying up all night, and I was convinced that I was gonna die. The whole night I was thinking of ways I was gonna die and was was gonna happen when I was dead. I’m making this post after the day a follow up earthquake was likely to happen but didn’t. But yesterday I was just so scared thinking about the earthquake that happened a day ago that when I wanted to do something, I was thinking in my head what’s the point?, I’m gonna die today anyways. I can’t relax in my bed anymore, if I don’t move for more than a few seconds I start to get paranoid and think that the bed is shaking from an earthquake, and I also think back to the day I thought I was gonna die. Honestly I don’t know what to do or if this is considered ptsd at all.

2019-07-07T20:50:47.000Z

cabspa

ptsd

PTSD from earthquakes

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cabspa/ptsd_from_earthquakes/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-07-07T20:49:17.000Z

cabs4h

ptsd

It’s just shampoo.

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cabs4h/its_just_shampoo/

[deleted]

I've had C-PTSD for a few years and have always had a very low appetite. I always just chalked it up to depression, but my therapist says it's probably an eating disorder. I also have stomach problems that I know stem from the PTSD. I'm just curious if anyone else, guys or girls, have something similar.

2019-07-07T20:46:49.000Z

cabr33

ptsd

DAE have an eating disorder and (C)PTSD?

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cabr33/dae_have_an_eating_disorder_and_cptsd/

kittyKATchaos

On the 4th of July, I got really intoxicated and came home from a party with family. I wasn't supposed to drink that much, but it got out of hand. I drank 5 beers and a shot of whiskey. Not too bad, but I am a light weight female. My spouse was mad I came home late and he was hurt. I became anxious because I was intoxicated and I deal with PTSD issues. My SO was aggrevated and started a fight and I did not react correctly. I yelled at him and told him some mean stuff. Then, he throws a glass, a candle and runs in the house and starts hurting himself with some scissors. I hear my family reacting, and I just black out and basically bear hug him and will NOT let go. I basically can not remember what happened besides me screaming and my 3 family members could not get me off of him. I am shocked and scared about how I reacted and freaked out and I have to heal from this. My spouse is ok now, but how the night went was not ok. I cant be drunk and we need to cope together. He told me none of the night was my fault, but I feel so shaken still and in shock. I feel like it was my fault and I can't deal with that. I am trying so hard to be positive, but I feel slightly broken.

2019-07-07T20:42:07.000Z

cabp52

ptsd

How to cope and heal after a tramatic experience? *Trigger Warning

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cabp52/how_to_cope_and_heal_after_a_tramatic_experience/

mesu2713

The rescheduling and the waiting and the sheer bureaucratic bullshit is just getting hard. I live in one of the most dangerous cities in America, and my attack was just one of countless numbers flooding our court systems, which are fucked anyway. The judge who saw all the evidence before a mistrial was called is retiring ,and my prosecutor who’s been there for me since day one almost two years ago couldn’t take it anymore and straight up left the justice system because my city is too fucked up for her, my attacker’s lawyers were the scummiest and monstrous as they could be, but it was all an act that they didn’t keep up once the career criminal they represented couldn’t pay so now I get to be verbally harassed by someone new.. I don’t even have a choice, I have a subpoena as a witness for the State but I have this terrible anxiety about court that just makes me want to run and never look back, like I can’t start anything until it’s all over and closed and finalized, and that only happens when my attacker is officially locked up.

2019-07-07T20:33:17.000Z

cablf1

ptsd

Anybody out there still waiting for your day in court?

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/cablf1/anybody_out_there_still_waiting_for_your_day_in/

mooki24

I experienced a stressful, drawn out event recently (it lasted 3 years) that really messed with my head. I've been diagnosed with "PTSD-like" symptoms (apparently I tick all of the boxes for PTSD except one so I can't be fully labelled with PTSD). I can't stop thinking about everything that happened, over and over and over again. I hate myself for not acting "better" in the situation and ruminate a lot, wishing I could go back and "fix" things. Regret has never been something I've had a problem with before this experience, but this regretful feeling is gnawing away at me constantly. It feels like there is no hope in sight and I'm just an empty shell, instead of the happy, motivated, fun girl I used to be. I'm in therapy which is great for a few days but then I just relapse into negative thinking again. My loved ones are worried so I try not to talk to them about it anymore as I feel like a burden. The last thing I want is to drag others down with me. Is this normal? How do you escape your own head? How do you even start to move on?

2019-07-07T17:28:34.000Z

ca9dkd

ptsd

PTSD-like symptoms?

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/ca9dkd/ptsdlike_symptoms/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-07-07T16:43:09.000Z

ca8ucl

ptsd

I posted on here months ago and was blind, but you guys were right

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/ca8ucl/i_posted_on_here_months_ago_and_was_blind_but_you/

[deleted]

[deleted]

2019-07-07T16:31:35.000Z

ca8pou

ptsd

Just a friendly reminder using facts

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/ca8pou/just_a_friendly_reminder_using_facts/

journey1992

Anyone else burnt out and not ready to invest in relationships? I know community and social support is healing and important. However, I am accepting I am not ready to fully invest in relationships as I am working hard on my self healing and my relationship with myself. I can’t really fully give in a relationship right now which isn’t fair to the other person. That also means I cannot be the social justice, nurturing, helper, enfp/infp woman I am in my heart. I have to use those skills on healing myself now. It was hard for me to quit my social service job to work in a job I barely help others and that I have no passion for. Thankfully, it is such a low stress job that I am able to focus on my healing. Taking this time to focus on my self care is not selfish. I need this time. I can’t give what I don’t have. I am burnt out by people. I am irritated by people. I fear people. I need this time to heal myself and then my relationships with others. I have learned what a healthy relationships with boundaries looks like. Now I am super cautious who I let into my life as I am watchful of red flags and am aware of the toxic people I tend to attract due to traumatic bonding. I am also aware of the toxic behaviors I am healing and working on so I have to be very mindful of how I am with others, too. It is exhausting and it feels good to have a lot of alone time. Anyone else relate?

2019-07-07T16:21:24.000Z

ca8lrk

ptsd

Anyone else burnt out and not ready to invest in relationships?

https://www.reddit.com/r/ptsd/comments/ca8lrk/anyone_else_burnt_out_and_not_ready_to_invest_in/