Human
stringlengths 17
2.7k
| Assistant
stringlengths 0
32.7k
|
|---|---|
How do I make myself happy without the people who made me happy? Now that they’re gone, I feel sad. It’s been two months now but I seem to be unable to stay okay and independent. | It sounds like you have been feeling pretty down, since the loss of a relationship, and you're wondering how to be happy by yourself. Intimacy is a very natural human desire and at the same time learning to enjoy ourselves, even when we are alone, can strengthen our ability to lead a satisfying life in and out of relationship. Working with a therapist, you may be able to gain insight into how you show up in your relationships with yourself and others and discover more fulfilling ways to do so. |
There is just no communication at all between us. She sleeps constantly all day (not at night). She acts angry and unfocused and stays in her very messy room all the time. The only time she comes out is to eat. She has aches and fatigue, weight gain, hair loss and skin problems. She does not look after her health.
I don't know how to communicate with her. She is not open to any suggestions. How do I get through to her? | I'm sorry for what sounds like a frustrating situation.For how long has your daughter lived the way you describe and did it start all of a sudden or more gradually come on?What you write sounds like a major depressive disorder and this can start for a variety of reasons and improve in just as many different ways.Start with how you are feeling about the situation. Ask yourself for how long you will be able to tolerate the way your daughter lives and if you feel any satisfaction in your mother daughter relationship.If she is of legal age, and you don't want her to live with you, you've tried convincing her to get medical care for its own sake and to more clearly see her emotional and psychological health, and she is unwilling to take care of herself, you can discuss your options with the adult protective services agency in your state.The first step is to know what exactly is her problem so you can decide if its own you are willing to take care of or not. |
My mother-in-law is mentally ill. She has been for most of her life. She cuts herself. She has been in and out of psychiatric hospitals for about 40 years. She has voices in her head that tell her to cut herself. She has had multiple shock therapy treatments, and she’s on enough medication to take down an elephant. Her parental rights for her two children were taken away from her when my husband was a boy—he is now in his late 30s. She doesn’t even have custody of herself. She hasn’t asked yet, but she has been insinuating that she wants to babysit my child. How do I go about saying no without creating an issue? | Hi Fontana,Thanks for providing all the details needed in order to respond to your question. It seems very clear to me that "no" would be the appropriate response. I like your healthy boundaries, and I'll help you explore possible ways to respond to her. First, she hasn't asked yet, and you don't know that she will. Right now, you can pleasantly ignore her hints. They're not hurting you and if you ignore them, they're more likely to go away. You can address and reduce your own anxiety about the possibility of her asking by reassuring yourself that you have the right as parents to make this decision, and that if she's offended, that doesn't mean that you're being mean; it means that she has unrealistic expectations. So, the first goal is to put it out of your mind as a worry. You might never have to face that moment. But, I understand that you want to be prepared.As her son, perhaps your husband is the best one to answer the question, should it ever come. Is he willing to do this? But if you are comfortable, and if you're the one she asks, you can confidently give her a simple, honest response about why it won't happen. And I would suggest presenting a firmly closed door, rather than saying "but maybe later". No need to apologize or hum and haw..."We love that you want to be around Junior, and we definitely want you in his/her life. (try to leave out the "but" here). You're not in a healthy place, and we're not comfortable with you caring for him/her on your own."If she pushes the issue, this is evidence of her denial or inappropriate boundaries. I'd let her know that it's not negotiable, that you understand if she's disappointed, but you're not open to discussing the issue. Really, there's nothing to discuss. Learning not to take responsibility for her emotions is part of having an ill person in your life. I wish you the best. |
When my daughter is stressed about a silly thing from school, she starts crying and freaking out. She is a bright student, always has a 4.0, but I am afraid she is stressing too much. I’m afraid it’s going to break her. I don't know if I should get her to a doctor or someone because this is not normal. | Aye, you're correct, that isn't normal, and maybe you should get her to a doctor!Before you do that, and if she were my daughter, I would provide her the necessary physical support that can be given readily at home; that is: proper natural diet, rest, and a good sense of detoxification before she readies herself to approach it.Basic listening is warranted here and would be of great use. |
whats the importance of warming up before a workout and how can i do it effectively | effective warmup warm up with dynamic stretches and movements that mimic the workout gradually increase heart rate and blood flow warming up reduces injury risk and improves performance |
In the past year, two of my best and only close friends moved to different states. Now I have nobody to hang out with. I'm always alone, and I honestly haven't hung out with anyone since they left. I'm super lonely. What should I do to make new friends? Because they moved and I have no friends now, I think I'm falling into a depression or something. I just need help. | Definitely it is sad to lose friends who are a regular part of daily life.How did you meet the two friends who just moved away? Its possible that you could look for similar situations and see if anyone catches your interest to know as a friend.Keeping in mind that friendship is based on trust and common interests, and that these qualities require time to observe and develop, think of what you can do to keep happy while these paths unfold.In addition to being open to meeting new friends, involve yourself in projects from which you'll feel satisfied by your own results. |
tell be about seated dumbbell press | the seated dumbbell shoulder pressis an exercise for building muscle and strengthening the shoulders particularly but not exclusively the front heads the triceps also assist some lifters feel that using dumbbells versus a barbell reduced injury risk |
I start counseling/therapy in a few days (I'm freaking out) but my main fear is that I'll cry and embarrass myself, is it something to worry about? | When talking about difficult issues, it is very normal to cry. Crying is a natural way for us to cope with the sadness that we experience in life. When confronting some of these things in a counseling session, tears just seem to come naturally. Every Counselor should be well equipped to handle that level of emotion, and you would be far from the first to cry when talking with a Counselor. |
I have a lot on my mind, but all I want to do is stay locked in my room and not socialize with anyone. Why do I feel so alone? | It has been said that depression is often the result of a blocked goal. Often people struggle with both anxiety and depression but have difficulty determining which is the most important issue. For some, depression is the result of frequently blocked goals and when their predominant issues are evaluated, they discover that they are anxious (worried) about a lot of areas in their life but seem to find no relief. When there is no relief and there have been numerous attempts (either in their mind or in practical application) to resolve the anxiety, depression is often the result. In this type of case, depression is not the main or underlying issue. The anxiety is the underlying issue. Having "a lot on my mind" sounds like anxiety. Unresolved anxiety can lead to feelings of depression which are often associated with "emptiness." In the question above, I would want to evaluate all of the issues surrounding having "a lot on my mind" and determine where these might be coming from. Has there been ongoing rejection from peers? From family? If so, why does this seem to be happening? Isolation is often a protective measure that one implements to avoid further pain. Where does that need to protect originate? Are there unmet needs from childhood? Are there traumatic life events that have created a need to self-protect as a defense mechanism? We can feel "alone" even when in a crow of people or at a party. This has nothing, in this case, to do with being around people. It has more to do with how we view ourselves. If there is a prevailing message or script that has been internalized that says, "You are worth nothing" or "You don't deserve the company of others" then being around people will not alleviate the problem but only exacerbate it. I would want to evaluate how one feels about themselves and what negative messages one has received and has repeated to oneself over time. The Developmental Needs Meeting Strategy is a therapy aimed at addressing unmet childhood needs. If there is specific trauma that is associated with socializing with people, then EMDR can be very helpful in desensitizing and reprocessing the trauma. Looking at whether this individual's issue with emptiness is straight depression or whether it is depression as a result of unresolved anxiety is key to determining a treatment strategy. |
I am so angry. I feel like the arguments with my parents have caused me so much anxiety and stress, and I don't know what to do. I want to sit down with a psychologist, but I cannot afford one, nor do I have my own health insurance. I can feel myself starting to get violent. I throw things of value when I start to get mad. I have punched holes in my wall. I can feel my aggression getting worse. | I'm sorry you have so many arguments with your parents. Ideally parents are people who tolerate that their kids are people with their own unique characteristics.Everyone likes feeling loved by their parent. Do you feel loved even though you and them have clashes?Anger is a symptom of a problem.The real question is knowing what feels like its being hurt inside of you.I agree with your idea of talking with a psychologist or some other type of licensed professional therapist.See if your area has a family service agency in it. Generally the non-profit sectors offer sliding scale fees, and if you qualify, your cost per session would be financially comfortable for you.One possibility is to tell your parents that you'd like starting therapy because of feeling so much stress from the family arguing.They may very well be surprised to learn of your maturity in assessing your level of stress and be willing to make a positive contribution to this by offering to authorize therapy through their health insurance. They may even decide on family counseling so all of you work together to relate in more loving ways.Last, if you aren't ready to speak with your parents about wanting counseling, think about speaking to your school guidance counselor. This person may have some recommendations for your specific geographic location. |
I have four children. One of them is in her 20s, and she cannot afford to go, nor can I pay for her. She went last year for two weeks by herself. | I imagine you are trying to figure out a way to be "fair" to your adult kids. The key word is "adult". If your daughter can afford to join the family for a vacation that's great, she's welcome to come. However, as you pointed out she took a vacation by herself last year - she chose to put her resources (time off work and money) into doing that. Good for her - she did what she wanted. If she wants to budget time and money for a family vacation she will.As for feeling guilty, let me echo the sentiments already offered - vacations are lovely, but not a survival need. Your girl is in her 20s and it's her turn to provide for herself. You did your parenting - now go enjoy your vacation with whoever can, and wants to, join you! |
How does a person start the counseling process? | The first thing to do is to reflect on what you want to seek counseling. Search online and then set up a phone consultation. A person can find out a lot about a counselor and the services that they offer over the phone. After a consultation then set up an intake questions. The overall goal is to make sure that you are comfortable with the counselor and the services they can offer. |
despite consistent training did you ever face challenges or setbacks during your journey towards recovery and rehabilitation
| yes i encountered numerous challenges especially regarding my back and spine issues despite setbacks i remained committed to my rehabilitation journey attending therapy sessions and working towards improvement each day |
tell be about dumbbell squat | the dumbbell squat is a classic lowerbody exercise that targets the quadriceps hamstrings and glutes while this variation is usually performed with relatively light weights for high reps it can also be used as a substitute for squats or the trapbar deadlift in any workout |
I have so many issues to address. I have a history of sexual abuse, I’m a breast cancer survivor and I am a lifetime insomniac. I have a long history of depression and I’m beginning to have anxiety. I have low self esteem but I’ve been happily married for almost 35 years.
I’ve never had counseling about any of this. Do I have too many issues to address in counseling? | Firstly, I would like to say how amazing that you have been able to live through breast cancer, sexual abuse as well as your depression and anxiety. You are stronger than you may believe at this moment for being able to continue to grow and live through these experiences. Take a moment to acknowledge your strength and know that this strength will be an asset during the therapeutic process that you will be able to tap into to find increased self esteem and more strength to address the concerns you are having. There are never too many concerns to address in therapy sessions. I hope you can find a great therapist who you can trust to listen and work with you to identify and address
the most concerning issues first. Once you begin to do this you may find an alleviation of symptoms and feelings which could allow you to grow your capacity to manage difficult feelings and situations and address additional concerns. Before you even realize it the issues you are having will begin to feel more manageable. |
I think I'm annoying and bothersome, but my girlfriend says I'm just fine. I don't think so, I think I'm stressing everyone else out | Interesting: How much of your issue is your own self-judging and how much of your perception is real?There are many ways to stop judging and self-judging using Cognitive Theory (CBT). You could find a (CBT) counselor/ therapist to help you reduce your judgments. In addition, I've written extensively about this in my book, LIVING YES, A HANDBOOK FOR BEING HUMAN (www.LivingYes.org). I recommend you visit the webpage and pick up a copy.As to your own perception: You seem okay being who you are, and your girlfriend agrees. Instead, you appear to be upset by your own guess at what others may be thinking. That's a trap that stresses a lot of folks out. Consider this: Many happy people don't mind what others think of them. And consider this: Many heroic characters in literature and movies are unlikeable. ("Colombo" is annoying and bothersome, but we love him. So is Johnny's Depp's Jack Sparrow and many of the roles played by George Clooney, Sandra Bullock, and Jack Nicholson.) Would it be okay with you to be an "antihero" in your own life? If you don't want to be an antihero, you have the power to be the person you want. Your behaviors and thoughts are completely under your control. What other people think of you is not under your control. You are completely in the driver's seat here. The choices are all yours. Enjoy who you are, and use your will power to make yourself who you want to be! ~Mark (www.MarkMorrisLCSW.com and www.LivingYes.org) |
It was over 20 years ago, but the pain has resurfaced again now because I have started seeing her Facebook posts about how great her life is. I feel so angry. How can I handle this? | First thing that you must realize is that most people only post the "best parts" of their lives on Facebook, some people even go so far as to make their lives seem better or more interesting and post mostly false views of their life. Facebook is watered down, candied version of our life, you put on there only what you want people to see. The questions you should ask is "How have I grown from this?", Is my marriage currently in a good place? I really wish there was some form of magic that could be performed to solve peoples issues and help them sort out their emotions and troubles, however there is not, the closest we can get is by using {time and insight} to heal our wounds. |
are there any specific techniques or practices for improving mental clarity focus and concentration | get proper sleep each night
establish a regular routine for studying and work
make sure to take regular breaks during long periods of work
try to eliminate distractions while you are studying or working
prioritize tasks and manage your time
exercise regularly to help improve brain function and alertness
eat healthy foods and stay hydrated
meditate or practice mindfulness
use sensory soles such as music or aroma to focus your attention
practice breathing exercises or mindfulness techniques to stay present and |
My dad is always, and I mean always, cussing and screaming at me for no reason at all. He makes me feel stupid. He also compares me to my other siblings in a negative way and demeans me. Is this abuse? | Oh my goodness, my heart goes out to you!! I pray you have other strong and supportive loved ones or friends surrounding you. If you are in school, please consider speaking with a counselor on site who can help give you some good coping mechanisms as well as other resources.I believe most therapists would agree that this type of behavior is indicative of emotional AND verbal abuse. And quite often the two overlap because someone who is being yelled at and demeaned is also frequently having his/her emotions preyed upon as well. Healthy Place offers us some great examples of emotional abuse which certainly fit the criteria of what you describe:Yelling or swearing Name calling or insults; mocking.Threats and intimidation.Ignoring or excluding.Isolating.Humiliating.Denial of the abuse and blaming of the victim.And abuse survivor and author, Kellie Jo Holly, offers some other great examples of verbal abuse:Emotionally Abusive StatementsYou’re so cute when you try to concentrate! Look at you trying to think.I can’t believe I love a stupid jerk.Aw, come on, can’t you take a joke?Sexually Abusive StatementsYou should know how to please me by now.I hoped you were less experienced.Stop acting like a whore.Financially Abusive StatementsYou are going to nickel and dime me to death!In what world does buying that make sense?Fine. You handle your finances. Let me know when things go to hell.Societally Abusive StatementsHow dare you spread around our private business!Let me do the talking; people listen to men.You took a vow in front of God and everybody and I expect you to honor it!Threatening and Intimidating StatementsIf you don’t train that dog I’m going to rub your nose in its mess.I will take our kids if you leave me.You’re scared?! This isn’t angry! You will KNOW when I’m ANGRY!Spiritually Abusive StatementKeep your stupid beliefs to yourself.God will find a way to get you back, and it ain’t gonna be pretty.I can feel myself being pulled into hell just listening to your nonsense!It's been my personal clinical experience that children who are experiencing the types of things you describe often say they feel misunderstood, lonely, or scared and don't want to make things worse by standing up for themselves. Even if you feel you can't defend yourself outwardly, that doesn't mean your father's awful and toxic behavior is something you should ever internalize (i.e., believe to be true) which is why I hope you are surrounding yourself with people who will speak life and positivity back over you. We are ALL worthy of respect, love, and kindness. Don't ever forget that!My love and light to you hon.Tamara Powell, LMHC |
Is it normal for people to cry during therapy, or is it just me? | This is a great question! I often wonder about what normal really means. Counseling is a personal process where many emotions can be experienced by people. I I do not believe it is just you who cries in therapy. Therapy can bring out many emotions such as laughter, anger, frustration, relief, grief, sadness, and many more emotions. Talking to your counselor about your experience might provide insight and healing for you. If crying surprised you and you feel comfortable that might be something you could bring up with your counselor. |
A year ago, the love of my life left me and never looked back. Our son was two months old at the time and it broke my heart. I miss her so much and can't seem to get over being so heartbroken. | I recognize that you say you are missing being with the love of your life. At the same time, I don't understand whether you are able to see your son. I'm curious as to the relationship dynamic between you and your son's mother.When you say that she "never looked back," I imagine you are conveying that getting back together is not something that she is interested in.I would suggest that you talk with a therapist and your local area so that you have the ability to discuss the loss of this person who you love so much. Most people think of grief related to the loss of someone who has died, But it also applies to people who have a significant loss, whether that is a relationship, a job, or any number of other things.In the meantime, try finding something about yourself that you value and can focus on. |
I have an overwhelming desire to watch my wife have sex with another man. I talked to her about it, and she said she will do it for me. The idea excites me to no end, but I don’t want to because it disgusts me. How can I stop wanting it, or should I just give into it and do it? I’ve been struggling for years with this. It won’t go away. By the way, I am in my mid 30s and my wife is in her mid 40s. | Try to understand your own ambivalence to having your wish fulfilled.Since you and your wife are in a relationship, the sex she will have with another man will affect emotions in both you and your wife.I suggest you and her prepare emotionally before you both go ahead with the sexual arrangement,By anticipating any jealousy or feeling helpless or out of control, or in control, since it's your wish being fulfilled, all the feelings you and her are able to expect, you'll be more prepared for the actual emotions from the episode, which may also resolve your conflicted feelings about creating the event.There are a lot of unknowns in the situation you're considering. Having your partner, who will be key in satisfying your sex wish, be active in understanding these unknowns, is a good way of keeping your relationship strong overall. |
I have been dating my boyfriend for a month, and we want a baby. We don't work or drive, and we haven't talked to our parents. What should we do? | Hi Athens, When a teenager wants to have a baby, it's usually for a specific, and not healthy, reason. Do you maybe hope that a baby will cement your relationship? It doesn't work that way. Do you yearn for a person who will love you deeply? Babies don't give to us; we give endlessly to them. I urge you to talk to someone you trust about why you want to speed up your life by being a parent before you are fully grown emotionally. A relationship that is one month old is not stable enough to support a change like this. You're only starting to get to know each other. I wish you well and hope you talk to someone. |
I crossdress and like to be feminine but I am attracted to women, but yet that seems to bother girls I date or ask out. How can I approach them about it? should I hold back and keep it a secret, or should I just be up-front about it. I wonder if i should stop or if I should continue to do it since it makes me happy. What should I do? | Keep doing the crossdressing since you like it.Your problem sounds more a matter of timing and reason to tell the girl about it.Not keeping a secret is a good attitude regarding meaningful parts of your life. Usually our relationship partner is someone whom we trust as a safe person to know all about us.Once you feel at ease with your potential partner then bring up your crossdressing. Based on their handling of this intimate part of your life, you will know more as to whether or not you feel more or less drawn to them.Secrets held within a relationship usually get worse with time. The person who feels unsafe in truly being and stating themselves eventually will end up feeling ashamed of parts of them which prior to the relationship, felt good or at least not worrisome. |
tell be about cable rope hammer curl | the cable rope hammer curl is a popular armfocused exercise performed with a rope handle attached by a cable to a weight stack it uses a neutral palms facing one another grip which targets the forearms and brachialis muscles in addition to the biceps because grip is a limitation it is usually performed for moderate to high reps such as reps per set or more |
I have so many issues to address. I have a history of sexual abuse, I’m a breast cancer survivor and I am a lifetime insomniac. I have a long history of depression and I’m beginning to have anxiety. I have low self esteem but I’ve been happily married for almost 35 years.
I’ve never had counseling about any of this. Do I have too many issues to address in counseling? | Yeah, you might :)At least, it certainly feels like that, I bet...Not to mention that most counselors out there might generally feel overwhelmed with a "case" with so many problems. And, so, you will slog along week-to-week with gradual improvements occurring as she slowly does her best to chip away...The real issue is that these folks don't yet comprehend the integrative nature of each of these subjects and how generally simple it is to understand them, and then eradicate them. |
I've been in a relationship for over a year. He's cheated and lied. I heard he's married, but he says he's not. Everything is very up and down; there's no trust. Recently, he went on a trip, and I promised him I'd behave and not drink because when I drink, I drink too much, and I tend to make poor choices. This time, I made a huge mistake: I drank too much, and I cheated on him. I slept with another man for about five minutes before realizing what I was doing is wrong. I told him and he just got really rude. He called me names and threatened me. I feel bad as I do love him. We just have so many issues. I'm not a bad person, I've just made a lot of bad mistakes. It’s unintentional, and I know right from wrong, but why do I still make the wrong choice? | Hi Calgary (Canada!), Let me get this straight...you're in a 'relationship', but he might be married. You both cheat and lie and he's abusive. The short answer is that there is too much wrong here for this therapist to try and fix it. Relationships don't heal us and they don't help us grow up. We have to be mature and stable enough to love someone before it's going to work. I'd recommend you focus on yourself alone for a while. You have a lot to sort out. I wish you the best. |
tell be about cable overhead triceps extension | the cable overhead triceps extension is a cable exercise performed in a seated position targeting the triceps muscles while it hits all three heads of the triceps the overhead position helps to target the long head in particular the seated position helps eliminate the use of momentum it is usually performed for moderate to high reps as part of the armfocused portion of a workout |
My daughter didn't see her biological father for the last three years. She doesn’t want to see him because she remember really bad things from him such as domestic violence and child abuse. The visitation is with supervision, but she refuses to see him. Is it better to take my daughter to the therapist and try to see him after the therapy? | Has the father or the visitation supervisor contacted you regarding why your daughter hasn't shown up for the past three years' worth of supervised visitation?Or is the supervised visitation a new development for the bio dad and your daughter?If no one is pressuring or expecting your daughter to show up, no one has even asked where she is, why she isn't present, then I don't see any reason for you to offer more effort by your daughter, than the father is willing to make for seeing her.If your daughter is willing to talk with a therapist, then let her find out first hand if the sessions seem useful or not.The one move I'd avoid is to force your daughter to go to a therapist since growing up in a household in which child abuse took place, being forced may remind her of her own feelings from this past, of feeling no one heard or cared about the way she wanted to be treated. |
I am in my early 20s and I still live with my parents because I can't afford to live alone.
My mother says that if I live under her roof I have to follow her rules. She is trying to control my life. What should I do? | That is a really tough situation that a lot of young people are experiencing right now. The first thing to under is that you can’t change who your parents are and cannot change their behavior. The thing to keep in mind is that you can control your responses and actions. You may need to keep living at home with them for the next few months or years and the best way to do this is to have a plan. The second thing is to keep in mind that their controlling behavior is most likely not about based your behavior. Controlling parents are often driven by their concept of what will keep their children safe and happy. Unfortunately this is not always accurate but keep in mind it is not a personal attack. There are ways you can deal with controlling parents – and most of them require creating a plan of action.Examples of action plans:Decide in advance how you’ll calmly and rationally respond to your parents when you feel they’re trying to control youArrange to phone a friend or trusted adult when you feel like you’re losing controlTalk in person to an adult you trust. There aren’t any quick tips on how to deal with parents who want to control you; you need to find strategies that are geared to your specific family situation. Get specific coping tips from books about family dynamics, such as:Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life by Susan ForwardCutting Loose: An Adult's Guide to Coming to Terms with Your Parents by Howard HalpernA counselor can be a good resource and provide support and guidance about issues addressing normal growth and development during periods of transition. |
My fiancée is always letting me know how I am a horrible/evil person, or I just don’t care enough when it’s about her feeling or when she is having an off day. | One thing you could try is to have a conversation when neither of you is upset so that you learn what makes each of you feel cared for and valued. It could be that you are showing caring in a way that doesn't quite match what she is really looking for in that moment. For example, having an in-depth conversation could be something that you want, but she may just want a hug in that moment. I don't know if you heard of Gary Chapman's book about love languages, but it may be helpful. |
Ever since I was little, I loved the idea of loving someone and spending my whole life with them. I treated everyone nice. For girls I liked, I would spend every second with them. It always ends the same way: “I like you as a friend,” or “I love your attention but not you.” | Attention is often something that is both wanted and sometimes not wanted all the time. Maybe when you're in a relationship with someone you can discuss the amount of attention that you are both comfortable with and/or what you are both looking for as far as amount of connection. |
I'm socially awkward. I've always want to be popular. I've had the opportunity to be popular, but every time I get i,t I'm too scared. All I have to do is talk the popular people. They're really nice to me, but I'm too scared of change. I really want to work up the courage to lose my fear. | Change can be uncomfortable, but sometimes those uncomfortable moments are the opportunity for us to be the person we feel we really are. It sounds like you like to spend the time in your head anticipating the worst, why not be in the present and encourage yourself that you can talk to people and it will be okay. By telling yourself it will not be okay, or that it will go wrong you are hurting your confidence to do what you want. Give yourself some credit for being awesome and tell yourself you can build new friendships...it may be the motivation you need to move past this fear. |
For the past four weeks, I've been having nightmares and hearing voices telling me of horrible things. They're not random voices, but rather, the voices of those I care about. | Are you in the middle of extreme emotional pressure right now?Or, is someone with whom you're close, under stress or somehow suffering?Dreams and nightmares are when our feelings and pressures we feel, try working themselves out without logic and language.Even though the nightmares are horrible, they are one way your psyche is trying to come to terms w extraordinary difficulty in your life or someone's life whom you feel greatly attached. |
I decided to stay and work it out. I just don’t want to sit on the couch. Other than that, I have been getting over the situation. I don't feel it is fair that she expects me to sit on that couch and won’t leave me alone about it. I can move on and continue to love, laugh, and play with my wife. I just don't want to sit on that couch. | Houston, It's normal for this kind of thing to be a trigger, so I get why you don't want to sit on it, but to keep refusing keeps the affair alive. Am I to assume that you can't afford a new one? Ideally, she buys you a new couch, but it certainly would be a gesture of love for you to do it too and it will help you both move forward. t will be interesting to see if there's anything else that keeps the problem alive after the couch is long gone. |
I tried telling my husband I was depressed, and he ignored me. He said "you're always sad or depressed." And he picked up his phone and ignored me. I said, "Please don't exaggerate, that isn't true." And he said, "Whatever babe. You just want to be sad."
How can I get through to him so he will take me seriously? | This is so hard. It is hard for someone to understand what depression is without having experienced it themselves. Unfortunately people without depression sometimes mistake it as feeling sorry for ourselves or just moping around, which is not what depression is at all. Sometimes I think that it is easier for family members to see it as a choice than to admit that someone they love is hurting and they dont know what to do. If he is willing, I wonder if there may be a depression support group in your area such as NAMI or DBSA where he could hear from from others living with depression and their families. If not, I wonder if you all might watch a documentary together such as No Kidding Me Too or Call me Crazy. If not that, ive sometimes encouraged folk to just leave some information on depression and how family can help like a pamphlet or handout on a table or around the house. We tend to get curious and read things we find on the table. Wishing you the best! |
tell be about iliotibial band smr | iliotibial band selfmyofascial release smr is a selfadministered softtissue treatment for the lower body usually using a foam roller or other trigger point massage tool by applying pressure strategically to the it band along the side of the upper leg some people find they can cause this often painful and tight area to relax or release it band smr is often accompanied by smr on the glute or quad muscles or by stretches that target the glutes or quads |
tell be about alternating dumbbell front raise | the alternating dumbbell front raise is a singlejoint exercise targeting the shoulder muscles particularly the front or anterior deltoids performing the movement one shoulder at a time gives a momentary rest to each side while the other is working potentially allowing you to do more reps during each set it is usually performed for moderate to high reps at least reps per set as part of an upperbody or shoulderfocused workout |
tell be about push up to side plank | the pushup to side plank is an upperbody and corefocused exercise combining two popular bodyweight movements it targets the chest triceps and shoulders with the pushup and the obliques and hip external rotator muscles with the side plank it can be performed as part of a dynamic warmup or any bodyweight strengthtraining workout |
I need to speak to someone about sexual addiction and binge eating immediately. | There is an organization dedicated to helping individuals find affordable counseling. It is called Open Path Collective. There is a one time membership fee of $49 and it lasts for your lifetime. You then have access to local counselors/therapists who will see you for an extremely reduced rate, anywhere from $30 - $60. https://openpathcollective.org/ |
When my boyfriend gets in a snit, he gives me the silent treatment for days. When I ask what is wrong, I get nothing: no reply, no phone call. If he does reply, it is something very sarcastic and hurtful. He never admits he is wrong and never apologizes. | This has to be very difficult to endure.It's pretty common for members of a couple to have different ways of resolving conflict. Very often, one person wants to deal with the conflict right away or shortly thereafter and the other person wants to wait. One thing that sometimes works is to consider having a conversation when you are not upset with one another about taking some sort of timeout and setting a timeframe for something like "I cannot talk about this now, but we can talk about it in two hours."My best guess is that your boyfriend is triggered by some previous relationship, either romantic or in childhood. If he is aware of something that he thinks or feels when you ask him to resolve conflict or to discuss it, it would be good to know what that is. It could even be that he's learned to handle conflict that way.Something else you could try is to have a conversation where you each discuss what is acceptable for what is acceptable for each of you during an argument and what is not. These sorts of discussions can be very difficult and you may benefit from working through them with a mental health professional who has some experience working with couples.As far as what you can do now, perhaps you can remind yourself that these things have worked out before, that you love him and believe that he loves you, or some other statements that are true for you. You may also consider finding ways to soothe yourself. For example, you may find that you like certain outdoor activities or reading a certain type of book or something else that gives you pleasure. |
My mother is combative with me when I say I don't want to talk with her about my depression. She hasn't been supportive of me in the past and she isn't someone that I feel comfortable opening up to. She constantly tries to instigate conversations where she asks me questions that I don't want to or can't answer. I tell her I don't want to talk and she starts arguments with me. How can I get her to understand? | Your situation sounds extremely frustrating.You're doing the right move to state you don't want to discuss your depression with her.I guess you could ask if she would like to know your reason to not speak w her about your depression. If you feel she can handle a reasonable conversation, and you would like to tell her your true reason, then schedule this or bring up the topic at a neutral time, not in the middle of an argument.Having an unsupportive mom is difficult enough to accept. You may feel greater success and peach of mind to meditate on accepting her lack of understanding than to engage in arguing when she starts this. |
tell be about lateral lunge | the lateral lunge is a lowerbody bodyweight movement that works the quads glutes and hamstrings it can also be performed holding dumbbells or other weights it is often performed for reps as part of a dynamic warmup or mobility routine but can also work in a circuit or other workouts |
I keep having these random thoughts that I don't want. Things like "you aren't worth anything." I know they're my own thoughts but it feels like someone else is saying it.
What is wrong with me, and how can I stop having these thoughts? | There is nothing wrong with you! Sometimes we get intrusive thoughts that can be worrisome. One things that can be helpful is to identify if there is a trigger to these thoughts - something in your life that makes these thoughts more common (an experience, a person, a place, a situation, etc.). It will also be helpful to try and challenge this type of thinking by focusing on ways in which you are worthwhile as a person and have worth in your life. CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) may be particularly helpful with this, also. If you are open to seeing a therapist, find one that does CBT. You can also find resources on CBT online. It focuses on stopping and challenging unhelpful and harmful thinking patterns and replacing it with more helpful and healthy thinking patterns. |
Is it normal for people to cry during therapy, or is it just me? | I love to see tears! There's an old saying, "The eyes are the windows to the soul." External emotions are a pretty good indicator of what's going on inside the person, and if tears are present, that often means the person is processing (i.e., moving forward) through their emotions! I'm more concerned when I don't see tears from my clients because that can mean the client is "stuck." So, don't feel bad for crying! You are moving through your emotions to a place of healing! |
how can i develop a consistent exercise routine and stay motivated to achieve my fitness goals | set achievable and realistic goals make sure your goals are something you can actually reach and something that will keep you motivated
make a planonce you know what your goals are you need to make a plan how often will you exercise what type of exercise how long will each exercise session last
track your progresskeep track of your progress over time so you can see how far youve come this will keep you motivated to continue working hard to reach your goals
take breaksrest is essential in order to give your body time |
what are some practical tips for maintaining healthy hair and skin | drink plenty of water hydration is essential for keeping your skin and hair healthy so aim for glasses of water every day
get regular haircuts trimming your hair every weeks will help keep it healthy and prevent split ends
use sunscreen applying sunscreen before you head out into the sun will help protect your skin from damage
eat a balanced diet eating plenty of fruits and veggies will help provide your body with essential vitamins and minerals that will keep your skin and hair looking healthy
exfol |
My mother takes care of niece whom my sister abandoned. She calls me every day complaining, but I don't want to hear it anymore. | Then one day when life between you and mom feels calm, tell your mom that you aren't able to listen to her complaints about your sister.The truth exists whether or not it is acknowledged. Bu acknowledging what feels real and necessary in your life, you are helping your mom see what she may not like to see and what nevertheless is right in front of her.There is no good reason or good to come of hiding your own truth about not wishing to continue listening to your mom complain. |
How do you know you have the right therapist for you?
How would I know how to "train" my therapist to be able to give me what I need from treatment? | How do you know anything is "right" for you? I think it's an intuitive process, and not always based on the objective expertise of the therapist, either (most psychotherapy research has concluded that the client-therapist relationship is the strongest factor in success in therapy.) But, in my view what is important to check-in with yourself around whether or not the therapist can hold space for all that you come in with (for example, not expressing discomfort with things you might talk about is a big "run away"), challenge you enough where you feel like it is challenging you to grow, but also where there is some part of you that does look forward to the sessions.How to "train" your therapist? This could be a session in and of itself I must say:) The therapist-client relationship can resemble many of the relationships in your life, or those that you seek out. A therapist, like anyone else in your life, won't be able to give you what you need 100% of the time and then expect that you will be able to function outside of the space. That can turn into a highly enabling process that won't help your other relationships. However, what the therapist can do, and help you deal with, is to tell you what they can and can't give you, and then process the disappointment that you feel when they can't be everything you might feel you need. |
I don't know what to say. I have never really known who I am. | Therapy may be an effective way for you to get a stronger sense of who you are. A competent therapist will work to create a safe and curious therapeutic relationship in which you can explore your identity. There are also many different exercises which you can do in and out of therapy which you may find helpful in this area as well. |
My husband doesn’t trust me for some past we had. I know all marriages have their ups and downs, but sometimes, I feel I am getting tired of the same thing over and over: that I am messing around, which I am not. | It is incredibly frustrating to not be trusted when you know you are doing nothing wrong. If the lack of trust on your husband's end has to do with something you did in the past, then be patient and give it time. Once trust is broken it takes time and effort to gain it back. Try seeing the situation from your husband's perspective, as often times looking at situations from different angles, gives us new understanding and insight. Remember that you can't change how he feels, but you can help him to regain the trust by asking him what he needs and responding to his needs as best you can. Seeing a couple's counselor is never a bad idea and it would also be beneficial for you and or/your husband to seek out individual therapy. There may be other unknown factors that you are unaware of that are contributing to the trust issues and inability to resolve them. Hope everything works out for you! |
I've been with a man for four years. For the last year, he has said he is done, but he still talks, texts, visits, and has not moved on with anyone else. His words do not match his actions. I love this man, but it's hurting so much. | This can be difficult and confusing.If you think your boyfriend would be open to having a discussion, try asking him for a time when he is willing to have an important discussion. When that time matches with a time that is good for you, try discussing the type of relationship that you each want to have and what you can start and stop doing to get there. He may want to be really good friends. He may also be trying to figure out what he is feeling. If you end up talking over one another, try letting one person be the one who is talking about their feelings for about five minutes and during that time, try having the other person asked questions to gain more understanding of their experience. Then you can switch. Also consider asking questions that cannot be answered with yes or no, but lead to more explanations.Questions that start with the words how, what, when, who are usually better than questions starting with "why" because they can be emotional triggers for some people.If this is difficult to do between the two of you, consider seeing a therapist who specializes in couples. |
I have no real friends. I have a girlfriend who irritates me but loves me to death. I push her away and pushes me away. We’re going through a breakup, and I have nobody. | Having time all to yourself may be necessary so you have time to reflect on your own identity and values, become more clear on what matters most to you, and with this increased self-understanding, be able to attract people who will feel like satisfying friends.Having a relationship with someone whom you push away and are pushed away, with someone who is irritating, seems to have limited benefit for each of you.Maybe you are together from fear of being alone, and being alone is exactly what you may now need in your life in order to draw more favorable people to you. |
I have so many issues to address. I have a history of sexual abuse, I’m a breast cancer survivor and I am a lifetime insomniac. I have a long history of depression and I’m beginning to have anxiety. I have low self esteem but I’ve been happily married for almost 35 years.
I’ve never had counseling about any of this. Do I have too many issues to address in counseling? | Hello! You may have heard the saying that counseling is like peeling the layers of an onion. Whether a person comes to therapy with many issues on their heart and mind or whether he/she comes with something specific, one issue leads to another. Please don't feel as though you have too many issues. You are important and worthy. On the plus side, you are a breast cancer survivor and have a wonderful marriage! Seek the help that you deserve. |
tell be about decline ezbar skullcrusher | the decline ezbar skullcrusher is a popular exercise targeting the triceps muscles the angle of the bench creates a greater range of motion than flat bench skullcrushers as well as targeting the lateral head of the muscle this exercise is usually performed for moderate to high reps as part of an upperbody or armfocused workout |
We weren't long distance until he joined the military. I love him and I know he loves, me but it's complicated. He said he's not going to find someone else, but I'm afraid. How do I keep our relationship going? | Hello. You are asking a very good question about how to sustain a long-distance relationship. Although maintaining a long-distance relationship has its challenges, with the proper communication, commitment, and understanding, many long-distance couples are able to thrive and maintain a close connection. Without knowing more about the "complicated" nature of your relationship, I wonder whether your boyfriend has given you reason not to trust him that makes afraid that he will find someone else. Has he cheated on you in the past and has shown romantic interest to another person that made you fear losing him? Or, is your thought just a fear but not based on evidence? Knowing that distinction is important because if it is the latter, you may benefit from refocusing on the wonderful qualities about your partner that makes you feel good about him and the relationship rather than focusing on the unknown or uncertainty of the future. The more you focus on "what if" situations, the more you may feel anxious about a reality that is not accurate and make you act in ways that are insecure. However, if there is reason for you to question his fidelity, you may have to speak to your boyfriend about how to build trust in the context of a long-distance relationship. To help the conversation, you may need to consider what you may need to experience or receive as support to feel safe in the relationship to build trust. Is that you wish him to contact you regularly, or to include you more in his life, or to make a clear commitment? For many of my clients in my private practice, that may include talking to their partner often and using a variety of modalities including text, phone, and Skype. It's hard to believe in a relationship when you never talk to your partner, and it's hard to build a relationship when you don't know what's going on in your partner's life. Other times, it is Making sure they talk often to their long-distance partner so that they can participate in each others lives and to feel their presence.. Regular communication, understanding and caring is the key to sustaining any relationship, but this is especially true for long-distance ones. Dr. Virginia Chowwww.PsychologyResource.ca |
tell be about pushup wide | the wide pushup is a variation of the pushup with the hands wider than shoulderwidth apart it targets upperbody muscle groups including the chest shoulders and triceps but has more of a chest emphasis than narrowergrip pushup variations if wide pushups lead to pain in the front of your shoulder opt for a narrower version |
I started having anxiety three months ago. I'm new to having anxiety, and it's making me depressed. | As a past sufferer of anxiety myself, I have learned that it is a natural part of life, it is a natural part of us, the longer we try to run from it the more it entangles us in its clutches, if we deny certain parts of ourselves we will become depressed or even oppressed, the only way to deal with anxiety is to embrace it and accept it, and in fighting the fight without fighting we will eventually win, I would encourage you to look into Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, your answer I think lies in that area of research. Hope this helps,C |
My long-term girlfriend broke up with me recently. She says it's because of my anger. | I need help controlling my anger.Anger is like a blanket that contains other emotion from bursting out and serves as a shield to protect us when we are not able to manage external issues. Anger also helps us understand that there’s something wrong that needs to change. Once we understand that something else caused us to feel angry, then we can explore the source of anger. Ask yourself: Why am angry, Am I hurt, disappointed, confused, embarrassed etc.? Once you find the answer, explore how often that happens and what’s your reaction. Then explore how else you could respond or react. You could use I-statements as a way to communicate your true feelings to your girlfriend or whoever is involved in the scenario. This is a good exercise to practice with your Counselor or mental health provider because many unresolved issues may arise during this exploration, especially if you have been angry for a long timeAlso, it is important to understand the difference between anger and aggression and learn to manage our anger before we act on it. Anger is a feeling; aggression is when you act out your anger physically, verbally and psychologically. Find ways to vent: crying or sweating will help to release your anger, and balance the chemical response that our body creates when you become angry. Physical activity and meditation exercises can also provide a break when you manage strong emotions.Necesito ayuda para controlar mi coraje.El coraje es como una manta que cubre otras emociones evitando que se desborden y sirve como un escudo que nos protege cuando no podemos manejar problemas externos. El coraje también nos ayudo a entender que hay algo mal que debemos cambiar. Cuando entendemos que algo mas causo el coraje entonces podemos explorar la fuente.Pregúntate a ti mismo: ¿Por qué tengo coraje, estoy herido, decepcionado, confundido, avergonzado, etc.? Ya que encuentres la respuesta, explora cuan frecuente tienes esa reacción. Luego explora como puedes reaccionar en otra ocasión. Puedes usar expresiones del Yo para comunicar tus verdaderos sentimientos a la persona envuelta en la situación. Esto es un buen ejercicio para practicar con tu Consejero o profesional de la salud mental ya que otros conflictos sin resolver pueden surgir durante este proceso de exploración.También es importante entender la diferencia entre el coraje y la agresión, y aprender a manejar el coraje antes que actuemos. El coraje es un sentimiento y la agresión es cuando expresas tu coraje agrediendo a alguien, física, emocional o sicológicamente. Encuentra maneras de desagotare, llorar o sudar te pueden ayudar en este proceso al balancear la respuesta química que crea el cuerpo cuando estamos molestos. El la actividad física y la meditación también pueden ayudarte a relajarte y tomar un descanso cuando manejas emociones fuertes. |
I have been pushing people away all my life. I finally have a great boyfriend who loves me, but I keep pushing him away and I don't want to. I need to learn to open up. | Figuring out the space we need between ourselves and others is an ongoing and unsolvable task. But it sounds like you may be feeling stuck in a pattern of pushing people away and are wanting to change that. Pushing others away may be your way of surviving relationships and may have proven to be very helpful at one point in your life. Or it may be serving some other purpose. One helpful way to consider changing that is to seek out a therapist. Psychotherapy can provide you with a relationship that is in tune to you and that can provide the reflection and supportive challenges to help determine the function the 'pushing away' is serving. It also may be helpful for you to take time to reflect on the moments when interpersonal guardedness snuck its way into the interaction. What were you feeling right before this? Did it provide relief? Reflecting on what was happening just before and right after can provide some clues as to what purpose the 'pushing away' serves.It may be helpful to communicate to the boyfriend how you experience intimacy and the discomfort it can bring you at times. This may help him be as sensitive as you need him to be about the pace of the relationship, and to understand what may be happening when you push him away. |
My husband and I have been married for seven years, and in that time, we have only had sex four or five times. Others have told me that most men would have left me by now. Honestly, I think I have a low sex drive or neither one of us actually knows what we are doing. I want to be better connected with my husband. | The numbers you write are low compared to how much sex many other people would be satisfied having.The key is your and your husband's satisfaction with the amount of sex you are having.And, know if there are reasons besides low sex drive that possibly explain this.Knowing the other possibilities matter because a low sex life may mean one of you is being satisfied sexually outside the marriage or that one of you prefers sex with a same gendered partner.If you've ruled out these possibilities, and you are satisfied with your emotional and financial life in the relationship, then a low sex drive may simply be the norm for the two of you. |
I am so terrified of having sex anymore because I have been told over and over that sex is dangerous even though me and my partner used both forms of protection. My partner is not happy about this and simply wants more sex, and honestly, I want to give that to her. | Maybe you'll feel less fear by understanding that whoever told you sex was dangerous, was wrong.If this message came from your upbringing, then it may a deeply embedded belief.Since the belief itself instructs to avoid risk, and overturning this belief requires taking the risk to believe the logic that reasonable safe sex measures are adequate protection, give yourself time to absorb this new understanding.Talk w your partner about your psychological difficulty bc their patience will help you. |
How does a counselor decide when to end counseling sessions or to terminate working with a client? | As a therapist who believes in client self-determination above most other elements of the process, I want to as much as possible leave it up to the client to determine when they are finished. In the case of a termination because a client's distress has resolved, I might periodically check in with the client about how therapy has been going, and if we want to re-evaluate where we are.The more unfortunate situation would come about if I felt that I wasn't the best fit for the client. I would offer that in words, and ideas of therapists (with names) of who I thought might be a better fit and why. It still is up to the client whether to continue, however should they want to keep seeing me, a part of the work would be about that want (to see someone who professionally doesn't believe they can help as much as someone else.)I also find it perplexing when I hear a client (or on a personal level) tell me that their therapist said they "didn't need therapy." I don't know that I buy into that scenario all that much, because I do believe that yes, not everyone NEEDS therapy, but that everyone CAN benefit from therapy and I don't believe it is the therapist's job to deter someone from ever seeking out help of any kind. |
I was raped by multiple men, and now I can't stand the sight of myself. I wear lingerie to get my self excited enough to have sex with my wife. | I am very sorry to hear about your rapes. Traumatic events, such as rape, can have some lasting effects. Issues with sex drive are one of these effects. Therapy can help to decrease the impact that traumatic events have upon our lives as we process through some of our experiences. EMDR can be a particularly effective modality of treatment to address this issues. I would also encourage you to have an honest conversation with your wife about this concern. Sometimes it is helpful to have that conversation with a therapist so that the therapist can help educate your wife in regards to effects of trauma. This may help her understand that your feelings are more about the trauma and less about her as a person. Best of luck to you! |
I've been like this ever since I was in school; back then I transferred to another school. Now I'm thinking about changing my job. | There's a quote I love that says, "Wherever you go, there you are" and the book by the same name by Jon Kabat-Zinn may be very helpful for you. The thing about changing things up when they get tough is that they often aren't the things that need changing. The awesome (and challenging) thing about it is that when you work on the internal aspects that may need attention, you can learn to find a sense of centeredness that comes with practicing mindfulness and asking yourself who you really are and want to be. Through this deeper work, you can actually be in the midst of chaos and still feel that calm and peace within yourself. If you look for support in this journey from a counselor or therapist, I'd recommend looking for someone offering Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) or Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (MCBT). Also helpful may be the online program of Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction (MSBR) found here. There are in-person programs across the country, but this online self-guided version is free and a great resource! |
Ever since my ex-boyfriend and I broke up, I can't seem to get close to anyone else. I know I'm completely over him, but I just can't break down my walls and let someone new into my life. | Hi Bend, You're scared, right? That makes sense. Each time we have a break-up we are a bit more in touch with how much is at stake in this whole love and relationship business. We are falling in love and letting someone close to our hearts and there's a vulnerability in that; we can get hurt. Who you partner with long-term is a big decision and it determines 90% of our happiness in life. The good news is that when we're just starting to get to know someone, we can take it slow. I think maybe you are slowing yourself down instinctively here, and that's okay. We are naturally people of attachment and it won't likely last if you are normally an open and accessible person who doesn't put up walls. So part of what I want to say here is don't pressure yourself too much. Take the time to heal naturally and listen to your instinct that is telling you to take things slow. :)As well, there are a few things you can do to make sure that the walls do eventually come down, or will come down for the right person. First, think about the lessons you learned from this past relationship. What do you feel proud of? What do you need in a partner? What mistakes did you make? Use this experience to grow in your awareness of how you work in a relationship and what you need from a partner.Look at your thoughts. Are you having generalized negative thoughts like "No one will ever love me again?", or "I'm going to get hurt again", or "I can't trust myself"? If so, write down what these thoughts are, and then ask yourself what evidence supports these thoughts. Fear tries to convince us that there is either something wrong with us or that something bad will happen, but it does so with little or no evidence of this ever happening!! It sells us a line based on no concrete evidence. Then ask yourself what evidence supports the opposite thought. What is the evidence that I am lovable... that there are safe, good people out there... that I can trust myself? Eliminate the negative thoughts, and add the positive ones. It's simple but very powerful.Lastly, take concrete and careful steps to act as though there are no walls. What is the evidence of the walls? Can you take purposeful baby steps in the direction of lowering those walls? When we act as though something is true, we start to feel it and believe it more.I hope you will find yourself back on track eventually, with time. :) |
tell be about incline pushup | the handselevated pushup is a variation on the pushup a bodyweight standard the hands are elevated so that your body is aligned at an angle to the floor rather than parallel |
Me and the father of my child have been dating for a year. We had a big argument and at first he wanted to work it out. But with time he started asking others and they told him to leave me.
Now he wants me to wait on him to mature. He wants to talk to other people. Then come back in four years. He doesn't want to deal with me while I'm pregnant. He doesn't take me to the doctor or anything. I feel alone. How do I handle this situation? | Well, as far as your boyfriend, sounds like he has received advice from others that is not wise advice. Leaving is not the answer after a "big argument" as you mentioned. However this is not surprising to me based on his possible age and maturity level. Having a baby is a lifetime responsibility and there are very few who handle this or who realizes that it requires one to step their game up. This is something that he has to realize and be encouraged by his parents or a mature adult to do. Hopefully, someone who has better (wise) advice will talk to him and he will listen.As for you, how do you handle this situation is your question....you do what you have to do to prepare for your baby, with or without him. A lot can happen in four years and you don't have time, are not required, and can't wait to see what will happen with him. You have a LIFE to prepare for, to feed, to protect, and to love. Can you tell your baby to wait; I don't want to deal with you now; I need to mature; I will be back to see you later; Hope you will be fine? Nope!!! As I always say, you are not alone because there is someone somewhere going through the same or similar thing. Develop healthy friendships...whether with family, friends or new people who may enter your life. Your support system will grow and life will go on...with or with him. Stay focus on you and your baby... |
My dad is always, and I mean always, cussing and screaming at me for no reason at all. He makes me feel stupid. He also compares me to my other siblings in a negative way and demeans me. Is this abuse? | Yes, screaming and cussing at your child is considered abuse.Here are two points I suggest you consider for your situation.If your dad is ever calm when you and him are with one another, ask for some time to talk about your relationship with him.Schedule it for sometime in the near future from your request. This way he has time to consider his points of view on his relationship to you. Even if he does no thinking about your relationship at all, he will not feel pressured by the surprise of suddenly being expected to talk about a topic he may prefer to prepare himself.My second point to you is to keep steady in your own views of who you are. When a parent demeans and mistreats a child, the child is affected in a negative way. Concentrate on loving yourself and keeping people in your friendship circle who care about you. |
I've gone to a couple therapy sessions so far and still everytime I walk in I get nervous and shaky. Is this normal? Should I still be feeling like this? | Yes, it is completely normal to feel anxious about therapy. Therapy often explores topics and feelings that are uncomfortable. The ultimate goal of therapy is to feel better but the process itself can be uncomfortable. |
My husband doesn’t trust me for some past we had. I know all marriages have their ups and downs, but sometimes, I feel I am getting tired of the same thing over and over: that I am messing around, which I am not. | I'm sorry to hear about the trust issues in your relationship. Trust, as you clearly know, is essential to healthy relationships. Past indiscretions or dishonesty can damage this trust and make it really hard to confidence that these things will not happen again despite reassurances. We tend to be very sensitive to betrayal and risks to our relationship security. Rebuilding trust takes time and effort for both parties. On your end, you may need to provide more reassurance and more concrete evidence that you are trustworthy, gestures of transparency (e.g. - giving him more information about where you are going and who you will be with, letting him know when you get texts or emails from people that might give him pause or trigger insecurities), and more patience and empathy for his fears. On his end, he may need to learn to be with his insecurities and fears and ask for reassurance about your love and commitment in ways that do not lead to criticizing you, attempting to control you, or limiting your freedom. If you are not able to come to agreements about how to put his fears to rest without it negatively impacting your life, I would suggest getting some professional help from a marriage counsellor or couples therapist. |
I was in a situation with a guy. He’s my brother’s friend and kind of like a brother to me. He invited me over to hang out, and then came on to me. I was instantly terrified to say no, and I gave in. I don't know what's wrong with me. I can't figure out why I'm afraid to say no. This is giving me a lot of guilt and depression. | Hi Tennessee, There is nothing wrong with you. There are many good reasons why you didn't say no. You didn't say no because you were caught off guard and unprepared; there is no place in life that teaches girls or boys how to manage it when someone crashes a sexual boundary. You also live in a culture where girls are encouraged to be cooperative and not upset people, and to put the needs of other people first. You instinctively want people to like you, and people can be very coercive sexually. You said it yourself; you "gave in". He wore you down.There's nothing wrong with you. It wasn't your job to say no. Women aren't the gatekeepers of male sexual urges. It was his job to get your consent first. He pressured you into it. A good therapist would help you to dig deep and uncover all these barriers to saying no and more. If you said no, what might happen then? What might that mean about you? What are you avoiding feeling? Unloved, unwanted, cold? What would you have to believe in order to be confident enough to say no? That you didn't have to do anything you don't want to do? That you're special, or that sexuality is special? Would you need a better understanding of what sexual assault is? I love that you want to do some work here to strengthen your sexual boundaries, and I urge a widespread conversation about what consent it. Men and women of all ages could use more of this training. |
I struggle with depression as well as pretty intense mood swings throughout the month. I experience highs where I feel amazing and energetic and then lows where I lack focus, energy, and generally have a more dark outlook on my life. How can I live a more balanced life? | You may already be living a balanced life because you are aware of your ups and downs due to hormonal changes of your menstrual cycle.As much as posible, schedule activities around your expected mood swings. This way you'll avoid feeling even more tired from a busy scheduled during a low energy time in the month.The hormonal cycle is normal.Opinions vary as to taking natural, homeopathic supplements or Pharma drugs which will influence your cycle and make your mood more even.There are side effects to at least the Pharma drugs, which is a consideration as to the value of taking them.Reflect on which is your style of living and what will make you feel successful in handling this problem.Sticking to a system which mirrors the type of person you are, means more than any one particular answer anyone gives you. |
My boyfriend has this close female friend. It always bothered me because of how close they are, so I decided to meet her. That made the situation worse because they were even closer than what I thought. They acted like a couple rather than friends with each other. There was no physical interaction, but he talks to this girl a lot. What can I do? Leaving him isn't an option. | I wonder if you could have a conversation with your boyfriend about how you are feeling. A few things may help with that:Try having the conversation you are both able to have a conversation about something that is important (for example, not during a commercial for a TV show)Maybe your boyfriend will be willing to listen to you for about five minutes asking questions to learn more about your experience, kind of like an investigative reporter wouldSee if your boyfriend is able to capture the essence of what you're saying by summarizing it for youRemember that hearing you and following what you're saying does not mean that he agreesAlso consider if there are events in your past that are affecting the way you are looking at this relationship between your boyfriend and this other girl (we all bring our own histories into relationships and we unconsciously expect that what has worked in other relationships will work in current ones)Then you can switch so that you can hear more about what he is experiencing (for example, what it is that he likes about her)Also consider having a discussion that if one of you becomes very emotional and needs a break from the discussion, discuss having a timeout that will last for a certain time frame (usually between 15 minutes and one hour) and then come back to continue the discussionRemember that the goal here is just to learn more about what each of you is going through, not to find a solution right awayThis can be difficult. Consider working with a couples therapist to discuss it together. |
I’m a man, and I’m soon to be married. I have been messing around with other men on the side. It started as a once in a while thing, but it’s been happening a lot. I don't know what to do. | It took a lot of courage to share what must be so shameful to you and to ask for help. Regardless of your sexual attraction/orientation, I'd encourage you to get honest with yourself and your partner/fiancee and put a temporary hold on your wedding plans -- getting married will NOT resolve your acting out. It seems to me you need more space, time to sort through with an experienced therapist more of your sex/sexuality story-line and apparent anxiety surrounding the upcoming nuptials. In the immediate I encourage you to also take the initiative to have yourself tested for STDs, etc. and if you've been sexually intimate with your partner/fiancee s/he needs to be similarly tested. Best wishes.Resources for Your Consideration: 1) The book "Not Gay: Sex between Straight White Men" by Jane Ward, 2) http://www.sca-recovery.org/, 3) https://slaafws.org/ |
I just don't know what I want in life anymore. I'm can't figure out what it is that is keeping me distracted and unfocused. I can't put things into perspective at all. I'm just stuck, and I'm disappointed with my lack of accomplishments. | Thank you for sharing! It can be very disorienting not to know what you want and where you are headed. Sometimes we are so focused on something we haven't achieved yet or on comparing ourselves to others that we lose touch with what we actually want and need. At times like this, it's important to go back to basics. Try out this simple exercise, take a few minutes to write down all your present responsibilities. For example: make meals, complete homework...etc. Then in the column next to it, write down the things that you do for yourself to recharge yourself and to enjoy your time. Is your list of responsibilities way longer than your list of stuff you do for yourself? It is easy to get lost in the sea of responsibilities and disconnect from what you want and need. To fix that, write another list of things that you enjoyed doing in the past for yourself and start incorporating them into your schedule on a regular basis. This will help you re-connect with yourself, and bring focus and clarity to your life. |
tell be about mountain climber | the mountain climber is a popular bodyweight exercise targeting the muscles of the core as well as the shoulders hips and cardiovascular system it involves lifting one knee to the chest at a time from a straightarm plank position it can be performed for time or reps as part of a dynamic warmup for bodyweight cardio or conditioning or as noequipment dynamic core training |
can you recommend stretches for after a long day of sitting | stretching can alleviate tension try seated forward bends neck stretches and seated spinal twists consider short breaks to stand and move around throughout the day to prevent stiffness |
tell be about exercise ball hip thrust | the exercise ball hip thrust is a simple yet effective way to work the glutes and hamstrings proper form is essential to really feel the burn in the glutes and the ball can help guide you into the right form better than a bench which is the usual support for hip thrusts unlike the bench version the ball hip thrust is best performed with body weight or bands as resistance for safety reasons it can be an excellent component of a warmup for lowerbody training or a glute activation drill performed anytime |
I have attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder, posttraumatic stress disorder, anxiety, anger, and memory problems. I can't work. I have no income. I'm on medicine, but I feel worthless. I want to be normal. | I am so sorry to hear that you are struggling. It sounds like you've had a traumatic experience that has impacted your life in many ways. Without knowing much about your history, I wonder if the trauma you suffered has lead to the anxiety, anger, and memory problems you are dealing with, in addition to PTSD. I would encourage you to look for a trauma therapist who offers a sliding scale or pro bono services. There may also be community mental health services in your area that offer free therapy if you are eligible for grant. |
I think about death all the time because I feel so alone. I want someone to love and someone to love me. | Feeling alone and/or isolated is almost always associated with being depressed. As humans, we need connection and interaction with others in order to feel satisfied. Given that you are frequently thinking about death, I highly recommend that you see a mental health professional as soon as possible to help assess your immediate needs and address any underlying issues that may be contributing to your feelings of loneliness and depression. The good news is that with proper, consistent treatment and commitment to change, things can really turn around for you. A therapist can work with you on building enjoyable activities into your daily routine, change maladaptive thought patterns that contribute to your sadness, and help with exploring what has gotten you to where you are. By learning about where your sadness originates, engaging in preferred activities, and changing your thought patterns, you should begin feeling relief from the burden of depression. What will likely result, is further opportunity to find social outlets and an increased ability to connect with others. Don't give up. Create some short terms goals that you can likely achieve and make your treatment a priority and a focus. You have already taken the first step in getting better by writing to this site. Keep on this path and believe in yourself. Best of luck to you! |
I am a really shy person. I'm currently in a graduate program which requires lots of presentations, but they always make me feel stressed out and less confident. How can I get more confident? | A good way to start is the language or "self talk" that is happening inside your mind. Looking at your question, when it is said that the presentations "make me feel stress" you are giving the responsibility of the stress to the presentations and taking that away from your self. The presentations cannot give or take away your stress, that's something only you can do and you can do it! What language can you change in your self talk? For example, are you saying "I can't speak in front of an audience! I'll fail?" That sounds a lot different than "I studied my butt off and if I practice speaking out loud, I can ace this presentation!" Although this is a short answer, I do believe that counseling will help you overcome these stressful feelings and bring out your inner confidence. |
I'm in my mid 20s with a husband and children. I love my family, but I feel like I've lost my identity, and I don't know who I am other than a mom and wife. At times, all I can think is what I gave up and how I feel unhappy and trapped, but I know I'd feel like worse without them. I loathe myself at times. I have an amazing life, so why can't I just enjoy it? | It sound like there are some parts of your life that you really enjoy it and also some things that you wish were different.You say you feel like nothing more than a wife and mom, so I wonder if you could make a list of what else you are (friend, daughter, etc.). I also wonder if you could list your positive attributes or skills.I don't know what you gave up, but I wonder if there is some way that you could spend an hour or so a week working on things that you like and/or spending some time with what you did before you had children. For example, if you're missing a certain part of your career, maybe you could work with your husband to come up with a plan where you could do whenever that is for one day a week. There are often a lot of small changes that can lead you in that direction.Of course, that is assuming that you want to continue being involved with what you were doing before. If not, what else do you want to do? What is it that makes you feel happy? What do you look forward to? Remember that looking forward to having an hour or two where you can do something for yourself does not mean that you are not a good mother or wife. These ideas can coexist.Can you talk with your husband about how you are feeling? Do you have trust for one another with feelings such as these? |
tell be about reverse crunch | the reverse crunch is a popular exercise targeting the abdominals particularly the lower half its easy to perform on either the floor or a flat bench many lifters think of this as a companion to the crunch which targets the upper abdominals more than the lower |
I'm not the same anymore, I don't know how to get back to who I am. I'm sad and confused and angry and tired. I don't sleep well. | Being tired can really affect almost everyone's ability to work through things that make them sad, confused, or angry, among other emotions. If you're having difficulty sleeping, try to get into a habit of going to bed and waking up close to the same time every day. Also consider only using the bed for sleeping so your brain knows that it's time to sleep when you are in bed. If you are not sleeping while you are in bed, consider getting up and reading a book or doing something to make you tired before going back to bed. Hopefully you'll be able to establish a pattern.Sometimes sadness and other emotions make sleeping very difficult as well. Try keeping track of your moods to see what is leading up to the changes.If you're still struggling, consider talking with a therapist about the specifics and/or maybe talking with your primary care physician. There are natural sleep remedies that he or she may recommend for you. |
tell be about bodyweight squat | the bodyweight squat is a fundamental exercise that strengthens the quads glutes and hamstrings it can be performed as part of a dynamic warmup for time or reps during a workout or for hip and spine mobility any time |
I am currently living in a hotel and I don’t have a family. I met a guy a month ago. He is a bisexual. He has a lot of gay friends on social networking sites. He would not help pay for the room. When I asked for the TV remote control, he threw it elsewhere and asked me to get it. I slapped him and asked him to leave my room. We recently just got back together. One time I was sick. He came to visit and feed me but left no money. Then he texts me and brags about his house and car knowing that I have struggles living at a hotel. He says that he has a whole house where he can put me in and orders me to text him whenever I need someone to have sex with. He left his bath soap so he could come and get it. I think that he is trying to find a way to come back. Please help me. What’s going on? I am a good, loyal woman. Why is he treating me like this? | I am less concerned about this man as bisexual and having gay friends, than about how you feel is treating you. You are in a vulnerable position because of social isolation. If you have friends to talk to, please reach out. While this man has money, it is not his job to take care of you financially unless the two of you have decided that together. It sounds like he sometimes cares for you and other times you feel disrespected. I would suggest you look for a man that is consistent in his love and care. This is not your fault. But you are in control of removing him from you life or choosing not to because he meets some of your needs. Take care. |
Every time I speak, he says I anger him. Also, when he’s mad at something, like work, he gets angry at me. I feel like we’re so distant from each other now. We used to laugh all the time, and I feel like he lets too much negativity in. What should I do? We've been married for two years but together for seven. | Hi, Newark. It sounds to me like your husband is going through something, and I think you understand that. You might feel very helpless, sad, and disrespected at the same time. He's changed. It's unfair for him to blame you for his emotions. His mood issues are about him, not you, and he's either not recognising that or not taking responsibility for it. Are you respecting yourself here by drawing appropriate boundaries? You can let him know when you feel disrespected, and what's not okay with you.He may be experiencing depression, which often shows up as irritability in men. It could be that he's not telling you something, or he's unaware of his emotional processes. You can try a "I'm really worried about you. You don't seem happy and I don't know how to help you. Some things are happening that aren't okay with me. Will you see a therapist?" approach. Perhaps you could go with him the first time? It's about a combination of compassion, self-respect and seeking professional help, I believe. I wish you well. |
tell be about armscrossed jump squat | the armscrossed jump squat is an explosive version of the jump squat crossing your arms eliminates any extra power that could come from swinging your arms making the movement extra strict and challenging for the lower body it can be performed for time or reps and is especially effective in a fatloss or athleticismfocused circuit or workout |
In 2008 my former husband of 14 years walked away from my life and we've been separated ever since. We have always been together sexually and both have experienced sleeping with others. I stopped because I wanted my marriage to work out but he did not. If he stops sleeping with other women, can our marriage be saved? Or should we just part ways? I still care deeply about him after all that I did and he has done. But he is seeing someone else on and off for years now. Will our marriage still be saved if he decides that he wants to try to do so? | Sorry to hear about the stress in your relationship. There is definite value in being clear as you are, about your own emotional investment in your husband and that you expect sexual exclusivity from him as part of the foundation of your marriage.Also positive is your awareness that only your husband is the one who must similarly decide his own standards of being sexually exclusive to you, or not.Whether your marriage can be saved depends on what each person is willing to accept about the other one.Is sleeping with other women the only criterion of what will satisfy you about being together with your husband?Love and care are not enough to make a marriage work. Partners need to be able to compromise and cooperate with each other. That you care for him definitely intensifies any emotion you feel toward your husband. It intensifies any frustration and sadness about the relationship too.Decide how much emotional sadness and hurt you're willing to tolerate and the reason you're willing to do so.From what you write, you are being very generous of yourself and not being reciprocated for this.If your husband doesn't start taking steps toward satisfying your wishes, this may be your time to question your own generosity in waiting for him to do so. |
tell be about singleleg glute bridge | the singleleg glute bridge is a lowerbody exercise that targets the glutes lower back and hamstrings it is performed one side at a time |
I'm transgender, I know I am, but I've only told a few friends. I know I can't tell my family because of previous conversations we've had. They just wouldn't accept it.
My gender dysphoria is getting really difficult to deal with on my own. I need some strategies for dealing with it. What should I do? | Hi. It can be difficult to handle such a transition on your own. I work with clients to understand their needs and wants. This can involve how to communicate effectively with friends, family, and other loved ones; or, learning how to have self-acceptance. I strongly recommend speaking with a licensed clinician one on one to help facilitate the change you are looking for. |
I was raped repeatedly when I was younger. I told my parents and action was taken, but now that I’m an adult, I suffer from extreme anxiety. | It's not unusual for traumatic experiences that happened when we were younger to stay with us when we get older. Traumatic experiences can become embedded in our bodies, as well as in our emotions. If the issue doesn't get a chance to get resolved within, then external action doesn't necessarily take care of the problem. Seek out a qualified trauma therapist so you can start to deal with the issues you're grappling with. |
I'm in my late 20s. I have two jobs right now, I'm in school, and I feel like I just have a lot under my belt right now. I get stressed out really easily. I tend to worry and over-think. I'm just worried about money and everything. | A good start is to pay attention to some basic issues: sleep, nutrition, exercise and socially supportive relationships. A great car on an empty tank will not get you very far. |
Me and my girlfriend just broke up. She said she loves me but is not in love anymore. This came out of nowhere. We seemed so happy together. It all started when she went to Missouri to visit her family. The first week she was there she was fine then once she went to this one sister’s house everything changed. That's when she told me she loved me but was not in love with me anymore. I thought maybe it was just because she missed her family and she just wanted to be home because she told me that she could not leave them again. Then she told me to come to her in Missouri. So that's what I did. I quit my job I dropped everything, said goodbye to my family in Florida and drove 15 straight hours to be with her. Once I got there everything was fine again. She apologized for everything and said she didn't mean any of it then we were good for about a week. Then she went back to saying she didn’t love me anymore and had no feelings for me. The only thing that really gets me and makes me not want to accept this is that now she is pregnant. This wasn’t an accident. We were trying to get pregnant, so all this is hard to accept. I love her so much. I have never been bad to her. I've treated her the best I can. I wanted her to be my wife. I was going to propose to her when she got back. Now I'm losing my family and my mind. I don't know what to do. | I am sorry to hear of these troubles. I see a few issues here. I wonder why you were both trying to get pregnant when the relationship seemed troubled? Some people think that they can fix a broken relationship by getting pregnant, and all this does is bring up more problems.You say you never treated her badly, and I believe you. People in a relationship can still be unhappy even when there is no abuse or mistreatment going on. In fact, giving too much of yourself to the relationship and not having a “self” outside of this relationship can be unhealthy. It takes two whole, healthy, happy people who are that way when they are single to come together to make a whole, healthy, happy couple in a relationship. Expecting your partner to meet all your needs or to provide your happiness is not going to work.There are two books that I recommend you buy and read. One is Codependent No More. The other is Can My Relationship Be Saved?Sometimes when you cling and try even harder to hold onto someone, it makes you both miserable. You cannot change her and cannot change her mind. Sometimes the best thing is to let go. If it is meant to be, you will end up back together again. It seems like this is something that she needs to decide since she is the one that keeps doing the leaving. I suggest backing off and letting her go. Maybe she needs time to clear her head and make up her mind. If it is meant to be, she will come back. If not, use this time to work on being a healthy happy you on your own. |
We weren't long distance until he joined the military. I love him and I know he loves, me but it's complicated. He said he's not going to find someone else, but I'm afraid. How do I keep our relationship going? | You're right that long-distance relationships can be complicated. If he loves you and you love him, that's a great start. I wonder if you would be able or willing to have a discussion about what you love about each other and what makes each of you feel loved, valued, special, and appreciated.When having important discussions, consider the following:Make sure it is a good time to have a discussion (and if you're doing it in writing because of the distance, you could type something in the top of the message about not reading any further if the person who is reading doesn't have 10 minutes or something like that)Try to listen as though you are an investigative reporter trying to find out information about each other. Asking more questions in this manner can be a helpful way to be less defensive during difficult or emotional conversations.When having discussions face-to-face, I often recommend using timeout when things become very emotional and saying that you agree to go back to the conversation in 15 minutes or one hour or some short duration of time that allows for some of the immediate emotions to dissipate so it is easier to also talk about them. As for how that translates to distance, maybe each of you would say that you are working on figuring out how best to explain it and will answer the next time you have access to the Internet (or, if possible, use some kind of timeframe).Consider what questions you would like answers to. For example, are you wondering:What should I do if I miss you or want to talk to you more? I don't want to make you feel guilty, but I also don't want to hide my feelings. Can I share them with you?If you have days or weeks when we cannot be in contact directly, can I keep sending you messages or is that overwhelming?How will you ask for support from me?Some couples really want to protect each other. In doing so, instead of hiding our emotions, can we share them and work through them together?Whatever else comes to mind.Gary Chapman is famous for his books about the 5 Love Languages. He has one specifically for military families: The 5 Love Languages Military Edition: The Secret to Love That Lasts.Here's a list of books related to loving from a distance: http://www.longdistancerelationships.net/bookstor.htmI have not read these books myself, but I have read other works by a lot of the authors.One final tip: Consider making a list of times when you work together and both feeling calm, safe, and comfortable. These memories could be helpful to you during difficult moments.Best wishes to you. Remember that you could each see therapists in your respective locations if that would be helpful to you. |
Often times I find myself thinking scary thoughts and sometimes I even scare myself into thinking that something bad is going to happen to me. Once it starts, the thought continues going through my head and I can't get it out. How can I stop these thoughts? | Such a great question! I'm so sorry you are struggling! You may be experiencing Intrusive thoughts. These are thoughts that seem to come from no where and victimize us. I can strongly recommend a book called "When Panic Attacks" by Dr. David Burns. It helps you to identify the thoughts, and the help you create ways to counteract them! There is another technique, called Thought Stopping. Thought Stopping can be as simple as saying "Stop!" loudly (if you are alone) or in your head, if you are in public. It's a quick way to distract you from the distressing thought, and allow you to refocus. I recommend using this technique, followed by some deep breathing, while visualizing something that helps you feel relaxed (a favorite place, a pet, etc.). These three things in conjunction can be of great assistance. One key component in addressing anxious thinking is building the skill of relaxation. I recommend an App called Headspace which teaches relaxation through some simple guided mediation. Super easy to do, and a great way to begin to build relaxation skills. Plenty of sleep and reducing caffeine intake can also be things to explore. Hope this helps! |
My friend is abusing her prescription medicine. Even though she told me she didn't have any more pills, I found she has prescriptions for anxiety medications. | Hello! Thank you for your question. I have a worked with many people who have become addicted to benzodiazepines, like Clonazepam. It is a difficult road for people who are trying to become clean. It is also a very difficult road for those who love the person and are trying to be supportive. During those times, it is important to remember to take care of yourself, too. As for taking your friend's pills, my concern would be the legal ramifications that you could face should you ever be caught with someone else's prescription medication, and especially these types of medications. Our laws have become much more strict surrounding prescription drug sales and possession due to the increase in prescription drug abuse. In addition, people who are in active addiction are likely to find some other means to get their drug, so it would do little to help the overall problem. I don't know about your friend's family situation, but they may be a better route to take if you are concerned about your friend. They may already be involved, but with your help you may be able to convince your friend to go to treatment willingly. That is usually better. In many states, there are also involuntary committal processes where a person's family may be able to convince a court to force the person into treatment. This varies from state to state. If your friend's family is not aware of this option, it may be something to look into. It usually does take a relative, or a medical provider, to begin this process if it is available. I hope this was helpful, and I wish you and your friend well. Robin J. Landwehr, DBH, LPC, NCC |
I've known him for about six years. We've dated off and on. I hadn't seen him in close to three years but recently started seeing him again. I really want this to last this time. I stayed the night. Do I text, call, or make contact first, the same day of the morning I left his house? | I don't see why you can't call, text, or make contact first. It would be up to him to reply when he can and wants to, but I don't know why you couldn't initiate contact.One thing to consider as you get to know each other better is having conversations about conversations. For example, you could say "I'd like to call or text you more often, but I'm concerned about _____ (listing what you are most worried about)." Then he can discuss his reaction and you can have a dialogue about it. |
tell be about burpee | the burpee is a highintensity exercise that recruits the entire body to build strength and aerobic capacity it is common in crossfit workouts and group fitness classes but can also be performed for time or reps in any fatloss or athleticismfocused circuit or workout |
Subsets and Splits