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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Should I break up with her to avoid possibly hurting her?
POST: So I've been with my girlfriend for over three months now, but we've been liking each other since around July. I'm a senior in high school, and she's a junior. I'm planning on moving away to San Fransisco for college after summer. (I live close to L.A., it's about 5 hrs away) she's a really sweet, innocent girl, my closest friend, best girlfriend I've ever had, and I'm her second boyfriend, ever. I really like her,(not too sure if I love her, I've wanted to say it a couple times but try to avoid it) but I'm not sure if we can make it through a long distance relationship. How I see it, there's two options: stay together and try against the odds, or break up with her to avoid any stronger hurt feelings. What do you think?
TL;DR: | Met girl, liked her forever. Had a great relationship until she moved away, now a long distance thing, should I stay together or break up to avoid possible hurt feelings? | I'm a senior in high school and just started dating a junior. She's a freshman and will be going away for college. I'm wondering if we should try and do long distance to avoid any hurt feelings. |
SUBREDDIT: r/running
TITLE: half-marathon
POST: hello /running/
i've been running for around two months time now, a couple of days a week (2-4 times). the last two weeks i've run 4-5 km each run. this has been done purely as a hobby (plus it's supposedly good you), and i've done no reading/researching until a couple of days ago. now i've given myself the idea, that i want to complete a half-marathon. i'm going traveling start-july, so i have about 5 months; is training for a half-marathon doable (and adviseable) in this amount of time? i have looked at a couple of training schedules online, but i'm confused as to whether they assume i've completed previous schedules (e.g. 5k, 10k training schedules) (which i haven't), or if there are ones that start at my current level of fitness/running capeabilities. if so, what training programs would /running/ recommend? i wouldn't want to injure myself by progressing too quickly.
TL;DR: | is training for a half-marathon (i'm going travelling soon, so 5 months) possible in time (i've only run 5 km so far)? suggestions for training programs? | i'm trying to prepare for a half-marathon (i've completed 5km in 2-4 weeks), but don't know whether the training schedule i'm looking at is the one i should be following to achieve my fitness and running |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Would you rather be a farmer or a programmer?
POST: True story. I'm a young (18 years old) person facing this almost laughable decision.
I'm a student with definitely above average marks who's going to go study mathematics at university. I also love programming and have been learning programming by myself since I was 13 or so. My objective would be to either do research, or do some interesting and well-paid job at a IT/software company.
Now, on the other side. My father is a farmer and he would like to see me continue its job. He already owns everything I would need: The fields, the machinery, some forests...
I live in Spain, which hasn't any big IT/software/research companies. I've been thinking about potentially emigrating but that's a whole different matter. I don't even know if I'm as valuable as I believe...
On the farmer side, I'm worried about the energy crisis... I've potentially got 60 years more to live and lots of things can happen to me and my loved ones. Peak oil, global warming, population growth, population ageing... all of those things are happening and I fear the possibility of a huge crash. What's obvious is that things must change. What's debatable is by how much.
I think I can do both while I'm at university. But after I finish I don't think they may be compatible. Perhaps I'll have a clearer idea by then...
There's so much uncertainty and so many possible regrets. So reddit, did someone have a similar experience? Am I missing anything here?
TL;DR: | I'm a young person in a different part of Europe, living in Spain, trying to figure out if I should continue my education, or go get a stable job at a company in IT/software. | I'm a student with high marks and a chance to go to university but I'm worried about the future. Do you think I should continue my farming experience or pursue a career in IT/software/research? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I think I have separation anxiety? M&F 19-20 together for 2 years.
POST: I [19F] think I have separation issues.
Whenever my bf [M20] leaves for work or to go back home I start to feel very sad. I get tired, depressed, and I just kinda loose interest in everything.
It starts to happen about a hour before I know he is leaving. I wasn't always like this though. We have been together for 2 years, and I've only started this the last year.
The only medication of any kind I'm on is birth control. I do have stress issues, I have a bit of a tragic background. He came into my life at a shakey time and made things better for me.
Does this sound familiar? I don't think I should be that sad. He knows I get sad too, and I feel bad. I know its okay to miss him, but once he is gone for maybe 1 week & 1/2 I tend to just stay in my room and sleep.
Any ideas what is up with this?
TL;DR: | I (19/f) am just sad when my bf (20/m) leaves for work or back home and I start to feel sad all the time. Has anyone else experienced this? What is wrong? | I have separation issues when my bf leaves. Was never this way before, and medication keeps me from being sad. Has anyone else been through this? What did you do to get over it? I'm happy when he's home, |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [25 M] made my GF [25 F] of 9 months feel like I think she's an idiot. How can I avoid doing it again?
POST: For her studies, my GF is doing a project in which a lot of the work is in my area of expertise. As you might expect, she's been asking me for help a lot, and I've been trying to help as much as I can.
Unfortunately a lot of the time I don't really enjoy helping her all that much. I sometimes feel like she doesn't really understand what she's doing, and is just putting things together in a way that works without understanding why it works. I'll readily admit that I have some (unwanted) elitist attitudes when it comes to my field. I wish I didn't but I do, and they make it harder for me to help her.
In any case, today she was telling me how it wasn't possible for her to do something, and without really thinking I replied something along the lines of "of course you can do that, all you have to do is this other thing". Usually you would be able to do the thing she wanted to do, but in her particular case, she was correct that you can't do it.
She later told me that the way I responded really made her sad, that it made her feel like I thought she was an idiot. Of course I didn't want to make her feel that way, but I guess my response really projected that attitude. Instead of assuming that she had done her research, and thinking for 2 seconds about what she was telling me, I assumed that she was missing something really basic and was just wrong.
How can I change my own thinking to be less judgmental and more supportive of my SO?
TL;DR: | I was quick to assume that my SO was not understanding me when she needed help, and I apologized afterwards for doing that. I want to change my own way of thinking before I start feeling bad about it again. | I gave my GF the wrong answer in a project I thought she had done correctly. She felt like I made her think I was an idiot when in reality I didn't want to have that attitude towards her because of my own attitude towards our |
SUBREDDIT: r/needadvice
TITLE: Following my passion: working with the forefather of a field (x-post from AskReddit)
POST: Alright Redditors, I need your help.
After spending the majority of my life interested in applying principles from my various studies to human interactions, I discovered a field that directly studies that interest. Basically, I found my passion on a chance video from ted.com (yay for the interweb).
First, I caught hold of a phrase in a video about advertising - Behavioral Economics. Then I researched it, read everything I could about it, contacted professors at local colleges, and even spoke to the forefather of it himself - Dan Ariely:
It's been a few months since we spoke, but I want to pursue a Ph D. in Behavioral Economics. I also want to continue my career. So, my questions/comments:
1) I believe that creativity and effort most often allow individuals to side step standard 'sacrifices' for what they want. You're welcome to say that it cannot be done or that I clearly don't want it enough if I won't give up my career, but realize that I'm only interested in solutions, not road blocks. I will read your comments but I won't bother arguing and it's unlikely to change my mind.
2) I want to perform a study of Behavioral Economics as it applies to my field, process automation. I have a pretty clear picture of the studies I would like to pursue, what I am seeking is advice on how best to present them to Dan to sell him and/or other behavioral economics professors into agreeing to allow me to pursue and publish remotely and/or as a part of my greater job function.
3) How to actually knock out prerequisites, work remotely from the institutions I want to be associated with (Dan is at Duke, I live in Houston and my research would be best carried out here)? have any of you heard of Ph. D's being granted to people doing research in industry? I've researched it and found examples, but I have no clear indicators whether it's feasible and/or common in Economics.
I'll be around until about noon CST if anyone has more detailed questions, I know I left a hell of a lot of detail out.
Thanks!
CD
TL;DR: | ound out my passion in Behavioral Economics through a video I watched from ted.com, I want to pursue a Ph. D in Behavioral Economics and work remotely for companies I would like to be associated with. | am pursuing an M.Ed in Behavioral Economics, want to sell to professors for potential grants, and/or have advice on how best to present it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21M] with my gf [20F]: Going on summer break.
POST: So I've been seeing this girl for about a month in college now. I know it's still early but we've been pretty close over this time. Anyway, our summer plans do not take us anywhere close to each other so we're deciding not to "date," saying how we'll see each other in 4 months when school starts back up. We still said we want to keep in touch as well.
My question is, how should my mentality be for this. I really like this girl. We've both kind of said we'd basically wait and pick back up where we left off when school starts, but a lot can happen in 4 months. Just any advice really is appreciated.
TL;DR: | Going on summer break. Wanna take things slow and keep in touch, but how should my mentality be for this situation? I really like this girl. | Going on spring break and leaving relationship early. How should I approach the situation so she knows I'm still interested and want to hang out with her. Also, how do I maintain my relationship with her after we don't hang out that much |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21 M] just broke up with my GF [19 F] of close to three years, thought I knew why but now I feel unsure
POST: A few months ago I began feeling doubts our relationship. I was getting interested in dating other people and the thought of being with some us felt appealing. I felt bad staying in a relationship I wasn't fully committed to so I explained it to her and we broke up.
We decided to take a break from each other, no talking or being with each other for a few weeks but we thought eventually we might try to become friends again.
A few weeks after the initial break up we remember we had pretty nice concert tickets we had bought a few months prior to all this happening, we didn't want them to go to waste so we decided to go as friends.
We ended up hooking up the night of the concert and we decided we were going to try to work on the relationship and entered this gray area of kind of together. We hung out and talked and had sex but it still felt slightly different. About two weeks ago I started feeling like it wasn't going to work out. For the last week we barely talked or hung out. Then we sat down and talked it out and I ended it completely.
That was a week ago and ever since I've felt hollow and numb and depressed about the situation. Before when we broke up I think the idea of us possibly getting back together floated around my head but this seems so much more concrete and it feels weird knowing we might not ever be together again.
I just don't know if I selfishly made a terrible decision or what and didn't really have anyone else to talk to about it.
TL;DR: | Feelings of not being properly committed to relationship got dented by hooking up with a girl I was interested in while we were apart. Not sure what changed after ending the relationship. Am now feeling depressed and empty. | Broke up with GF, hung out, we continued to date but I feel like I made a terrible mistake and there's no one to talk about it with about it. Feeling lost and depressed. |
SUBREDDIT: r/BreakUps
TITLE: Ended a long term long distance and just need someone to say it's okay.
POST: [x-post from r/relationships] (RANT) My boyfriend of 3+ years and I just broke it off...and I have no right to complain because I'm the one that ended it. But it's not like our relationship was bad...in fact it was wonderful, perfect, and everything I had ever wanted but we'd been long distance and I felt like I needed a change and all at once I just opened my mouth and told him I wasn't coming home that I wanted to stay and teach and travel and when he offered to come with me I just couldn't say yes I just couldn't because I've never been out on my own or just done something for myself and I ended it.
And now I just sit and think all the time about how I feel like I've made a huge mistake and I get so upset because I'm just alone. I'm not made to be alone. I'm a girlfriend it's who I am and now I'm without my other half and it's all so confusing because on the one hand I love him and I miss him and I just want to go home and say I'm sorry and go back to reality but on the other hand, I've got a chance to go out into the world and live the kind of life that other people look at and say 'wow I wish I was her' and I want that, I do, I want it badly.
I know this was just a ramble but basically what I'm asking for is for anyone else out there whose ever had a breakup from circumstance and not because a lack of love to tell me it'll be alright.
TL;DR: | Long distance boyfriend and I ended it because I stopped love him, he turned into a huge jerk and now I'm alone and feeling very confused. I need to know if anyone else has experienced this or had a break up from circumstance and needed | Fell out of love with long distance boyfriend, broke it off, don't feel okay about being alone, need words of reassurance or anything I'm just confused about what to do, anyone out there who's been in this situation? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24F] concerned about my sister's [21F] boyfriend(?) [32M] and his fiancee/her girlfriend(?) [26F?]
POST: My sister 21/f has lived for about two years with an engaged couple who I think are 32/m and 26/f from my snooping on Facebook and asking around. They've been engaged since this past fall and seem to be getting married in about a year from now. I'm concerned for her because she kind of acts like he's her boyfriend and his fiancee is her girlfriend or something?
They've been seen in public being really close to each other in every combination you can think of with him/his fiancee, him/my sister, my sister/his fiancee, and I actually saw her kiss his fiancee on the lips when the three of them were getting in their car leaving a restaurant in town around Easter, which is what made me finally decide to post this.
He's way too old for her, and her living with a couple like this is just super weird. Everyone in our family talks about her and how they think he's going to kick her out or something once he gets married. Also, she works basically part time at a retail store and he works doing something at home (she won't tell me anything other than "he works on the computer"), but apparently he's got the money to fix her car when it messes up and pay all of their bills, and that just seems like something he could hold over her head.
I don't really know what to do here because she won't listen to anybody, and I am very concerned for her.
TL;DR: | Mom's sister is kind of engaged to a married man who has a fiancee/her girlfriend who is really close to and seems to be acting like her boyfriend. I'm concerned for her. | Sister is engaged to an old couple who seem to be getting married. Should she continue to live with him or should she tell him that she won't marry him if she has a boyfriend? Just wondering about the possible ramifications of her with |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22 M] and my ex [20 F] are dating again, but have some resentment issues
POST: So this girl and I dated for a little over a month and it was GREAT, we had a lot of chemistry, in bed and otherwise. And honestly I had never felt so connected to a previous gf right off the bat.
Issues surfaced because I decided to visit one of my best (female) friends in another city for valentines day. Keep in mind I bought the tickets before meeting the ex. I had let her know from the beginning and repeatedly asked her if she wanted me not to go (she said I should go). I also made several things to make up for it.
Travel day comes, and she decides to brake it off BC of jealousy issues and BC she is having "family problems". I felt blindsided because I felt I had done everything to avoid this, and felt like she encouraged me to go.
A few months later we start talking again and dating. The topic of the breakup comes up when I tell her I really resent her for what she did, to which she replies that I "screwed us up". Her reasoning being that i should have stayed instead even though I repeatedly told her I was willing to do that if she asked. I am honestly shocked that she could think that, am I truly at fault for not reading her mind? Or was I just really dense in not assuming that was what I should have done?
Now I don't know whether I should still try to work things out with this girl. I still really like her.
TL;DR: | Went on vacation with ex, she broke it off bc she was jealous and didnt want me to go bc I "screwed us up" by not showing up for valentines Day, I still like her and want to work things out | Got into a relationship with a girl who would have ruined the relationship with my previous ex. Reevaluated, realised how much I screwed up and have some resentment issues. Want to try to fix it but am confused on what to do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My (20F) SO (21M) of 4yrs moved 30hrs away without discussing it with me... am I overreacting for being upset?
POST: Okay so my SO and I have been in a relationship for 4yrs, he's great and I love him very much. We have always been able to communicate openly in our relationship, which is why we get along so well.
We both just finished our 3rd year of university. During 3rd year he was looking for a co-op placement for a 16 month term. We had discussed him possibly moving away to another city within our province, which would make it easy for us to drive/bus/train to visit each other frequently. He applied to many positions in our province, however he also applied to some out of province - without telling me.
As it turns out, the first job he gets an offer for is 30hrs away. They gave him around 24hrs to decide whether or not he was going to accept the job. That night we went to his parents house to discuss with them. His father told him he should accept it immediately, while his mother and I suggested he slept on it as he had other job interviews in the upcoming week in our city and other cities within the province. During this conversation, his father repeatedly shuts down any suggestions other than "Accept it!!".
Ultimately, without really sitting down and having a discussion about how this was going to work, he accepted the offer that night and that was that. When we talked about it later, he told me that he assumed that I would just pack up and move there with him - something that we had never discussed. He moved to the other province a month ago and won't be back home until fall of next year.
I understand that 16 months isn't the end of the world and that we are young and we both need to make decisions that will benefit our future and careers, but I can't help but feel upset that he did not include me in this huge decision. There's not much we can do about it now, but this has been really bothering me for the last few months.
Any advice on how to let this go or from anyone in a LDR would be appreciated!
TL;DR: | SO moved to another province without discussing his possible job offers with me. Seems like he will accept the offer, but won't tell me until later. Is this really the end of the line for LDR relationships or am I over reacting? | SO of 4yrs moved away without giving me a chance to fully discuss the long distance aspect of it. This has been bothering me for some time and I'm wondering why he didn't tell me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: So, I've been phished -- now what?
POST: I was recently searching for a job and my aunt decided to "help me out" (by sending me over 9000 links a day to job postings). One of the links she sent me struck me (on first glance) as a local jobs-posting site. The frontpage seemed just to be a registration form. Seconds later (after hitting Submit), I realized that I'd just given a decent amount of my info (name, email, address, password that I use on a few websites, and quite possibly phone number) to...??
I'm still kind of pissed that my aunt would send me a fucking phishing site (and more importantly, that I'd trust, for even a few seconds, a website that she'd sent me). She, predictably, acted completely oblivious when I told her what'd happened.
Anyway: In the past few days, I've been receiving increasingly creepy emails -- someone seems to be signing up for services (all free, thus far) with my email address, and (most recently), they contacted the government of the city in which I used to live (I received an email answering an inquery I'd never made about trash pickup).
What do I do?
TL;DR: | Aunt sent a phishing site to my email address -- how am I supposed to stop paranoid if she continues to do this? What steps should I take now to prevent someone from trying to get me by spamming my email address? Also, | My aunt sent me a phishing site, assuming I didn't know what was registered with my email address. I'm pissed. Now what? What's the etiquette for getting hit by phishing emails? How can I avoid getting |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, I need to know if this is legal?
POST: My landlord came into my apartment to do some work on the plumbing (I live in an apartment in his basement). I am getting ready to move next month so I had a lot of my things out on the counters/tables to get it sorted and packed. My landlord noticed my collection of medieval weaponry, a couple of maces, daggers, a sword, and a small ax.
Well, after noticing this collection of weaponry he became extremely furious and told me to leave. He told me I was no longer allowed to be in his apartment, and that I no longer had until June 1st to leave. He told me I have until tomorrow at noon to be out of the apartment.
Is this legal of him to do? I made copies of the lease agreement and it says nothing against my collection, as long as I did not hang anything on the walls, which I did not. I am not necessarily interested in getting into a legal battle with him or anything, I just want to know if it's legal for him to kick me out over two weeks earlier than my predetermined date. The weapons are legal in my state, I have double checked that as well.
TL;DR: | Landlord kicked me out early because I am getting ready to move and I have some of my belongings in his apartment. Is this legal? | My landlord kicked me out over two weeks before my date to leave. Is he legally allowed to do so? Also, are weapons legally considered "property" in my state? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [20/f] attractive with bf, wants to know how to make male FRIENDS & avoid getting hit on/awkness.
POST: I have been with my long distance bf for 3 years and I love him and I'm faithful. I hate getting hit on when he's not around(which is most of the time), but I also wish I had more guy FRIENDS. My question is... what if a guy starts talking to me and even though I'm not interested because I'm in a committed relationship, I'm still interested in being friends... how do I let them know that? What is the best way to make it very clear I am committed to my boyfriend but in a friendly way?
I go to a community college and it is not the best environment for making friends... So I was excited when this nice guy started talking to me in class, we had great small talk and at the end of class he asked for my number so that we could compare homework assignments. Right when he asked for my number should I have mentioned I have a bf? I didn't because it was just friendly conversation and I thought if I said it out of no where it would be weird. Even though he was just being friendly I feel like he might be interested in me.... I really want a new guy friend! But I also don't want a guy friend with tension because he's attracted to me. So what is the best way to feel out a guy and see if he genuinely wants to be friends or just wants to get in my pants?
TL;DR: | I have been with long distance bf for 3 years, want to make new guy friends, but not interested in being hit on. How do I make a positive male relationship fun and not a deal breaker? | want to make male friends but don't want to get hit on(or even cringed thinking about) a guy because I am in an exclusive relationship. What is the best way to make a guy feel more comfortable knowing I am |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Girlfriend [22F] of 6months has stopped feeling like sex with me [20M]. Is this just the honeymoon phase ending or something different?
POST: It feels like the honeymoon phase is over- we have had a few fights and we both aren't exactly brimming with joy everytime we hang out- to be honest we get a little bit bored and we recently needed a week apart (where she kept messaging saying she missed me).
So she arrived back and I was assuming we'd have steamy 'good to see you again i've missed you sex', but no, she's just not in the mood. It's been a few days and she still doesn't feel like it. She's not distant or unhappy (it seems), she just doesn't want sex.
I'm planning to talk to her if this keeps up for another week, as it feels like our intimacy is dying and slipping away because of this. I'm sure there is a heap of (potentially heartbreaking) reasons she might not want sex, but I wanted to get you guys opinion before I launch into a talk with her.
TL;DR: | GF of 6months hasn't felt the best sex over the last few weeks, not sure why, or if this is just her honeymoon phase ending or something different. What am I missing? | My girlfriend of 6months has stopped feeling like sex with me when we hang out. Is this just the honeymoon phase ending or something different? Is there anything I can do to salvage the relationship? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [22F] am becoming bored in my 2 year relationship with my 23M boyfriend. I have to plan out everything we do. How do I suggest ways to fix this?
POST: He's never been the type of person to plan couple activities. His idea of a great evening is ordering take-out and watching tv, which I do enjoy, but that's all he seems to want to do. We never go out, unless one of his out-of-town friends comes up and 12 other people go. I suggest going out, and he'll mutter some agreement, then never mention it again. Literally everything else that we do, I have to plan out. Every vacation, day-trip, even a drive to the next town. He mentioned a vacation trip one time, talked about it for a bit, but then nothing ever came from it. ***HE HAS TALKED ABOUT GOING PUTT-PUTTING FOR OVER A YEAR.***
I hate having to plan everything, but I also hate doing the same thing all the time.
Even when I suggest watching a new movie together, he'll say he doesn't have an interest in that movie, which I get, but I've sat through his crap before. I'm tired of having to do things alone (movies, going for walks, random drives, hikes, swims).
Our relationship is just come home, cuddle, eat, maybe watch a show, watch him play video games, sometimes have sex, sleep.
To give you an idea: even my birthday gift last year was some after-thought gift a week late. He plans nothing. This was after months of talking about "I have to plan your birthday"
TL;DR: | I'm bored in my 2 year relationship with my 23M boyfriend of 11 months due to him never being able to plan anything. How do I make plans with him that are mutually enjoyable? How do I suggest things to do? I don | My 25M boyfriend doesn't have any interest in seeing new movies, cook dinner, go out, etc. How can I help make him do things? I hate having to plan everything and having to do things myself. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24 M] with my girlfriend [22 F] of 7 years, she needs time
POST: So let me start off by saying that I am now in a much better place than when this began about a week ago. I have gotten a lot of solid advice from friends and family.
We, like all couples, have had our issues in the past. It has always been small things however, never anything on the scale of cheating or violating one another's trust. And we have never been afraid to talk things out or tell each other how we feel. And we have always said that if one of us isn't happy, that we would never want to force the other to stay.
That being said, she dropped a bomb on me last week where she needs time and space to think about what she wants. Now, out of the 7 years we have been together, roughly 5 have been long distance. Not across the country long distance, but between 2-4 hours apart. So we typically see one another once to twice a month minimum during the stretches where we are apart - with the occasional exception to this trend due to outside circumstances. And we are currently living about 2 hours apart. We have not lived together either, however the other two years we did live in the same small town.
We have still been talking regularly, however about the little things in life. How our days are going, what's going on with other people in our lives, work, etc. But she does not want to talk about us at the moment. And as I'm sure you can imagine, that is all I want to talk about.
I've tried to stay strong - and so far have done a fairly good job I think (apart from the first day/night where I was not in a good place mentally). I'm trying to let her have her time and space. But every day is an internal struggle with myself. And I know it's beyond my control and the ball is in her court, but this has been one of the longest and most difficult weeks in my life.
I guess I'm just looking for some support. Thanks for reading.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend of 7 years needs space because she needs to think about what she wants in a relationship, and the distance adds to that. I'm trying to support her and accept the time and space needed. Does anyone have any advice | Gf needs space to think, talks about us alot, but the internal struggle is overwhelming me. What can I do to help? How can I not let this go? Just wanted to rant. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [23F] and [39M] giving me hot and cold signals. I don't know whether I should tell him.
POST: So there's this guy I'm really close to even though I've only known him for a little over a year. I don't know how to romantically approach guys or anything like that. I can always tell when my other friends are crushing / being hit on but I can never do so for myself.
He tends to initiate the daily texts even when he's on holiday or with his friends, cheers me up when I'm feeling down, encourages me to be my best, etc. He buys me a lot of stuff when he sees something that reminds him of me, and I do the same as well.
I am aware that we have a significant age gap and I know I'm far from mature but we're both on similar wavelengths when it comes to our lifestyles, ideals, etc. We hang out together and sometimes with his friends (and members of his family) too. Every time we're together he always makes me laugh and we tease each other a lot. And I realize from time to time that he likes to rest his knee against mine, even though he has a lot of chair space to himself.
He sometimes would tell me about girls who hit on him and he's not interested. He's confided in me about his past relationships and warned me of guys I should watch out for. Occasionally he says that he and his bros should help me find a guy. And our interactions are strange. He'd hug all his friends (girls and guys) and I'd do the same, but we don't do that to each other. It's never been our thing, and we always have an awkward wave at the end of the night. And one day one of his friends said she couldn't see him without me by his side and I freaked.
Because of the hot/cold vibes I can't tell if he likes me or not. And telling him feels like such a risk because I might destroy an amazing friendship. And I've never confessed to a guy before, so I'll probably shit myself doing that and be a blubbering mess :/ I'm not a flirty person, so it'll probably be like dropping a bomb on him too.
TL;DR: | Guy who I've been close with for a while regularly compliments/tells me about his past relationships and tells me about girls hitting on him. Should I tell him how I feel, or just forget about it entirely and let my friendship | Guy I'm really close to sends me hot and cold signals. Don't know whether to confess or just back off. Don't want to ruin an awesome friendship though cause I might shit myself. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [24/f] I'm tired of having the same fights with my fiance [37/m], but he keeps doing the same dumb crap. What do I do now?
POST: My fiance and I have been in a million fights about him giving away the only time we have with just each other to his other friends. I work or go to school multiple evenings a week, and he has his 2 sons 40% of the time. We rarely have time to spend a few good hours together in a row.
This evening he got home around 6:30 and I thought we were going to have the rest of the evening together. We go to the gym, and as soon as we get there he announces that he has to go to his house (which he is renting to a friend of his and still stays at sometimes) to snowblow the driveway. He left three hours ago, and his friend checked in on Facebook with him at a restaurant that he had just told my fiance has a great beer selection.
I knew when he left that he was going to end up hanging out with his friend all night. I could have told him to come right back, but then he would have insisted that was the only option. I know I didn't say anything so that he would confirm my expectations. He did, and now I'm angry and hurt. We have fought about this so many times before, and our fights always get explosive and overblown. Whenever he is criticized, he gets defensive and mean, and then ultimately ends up agreeing he was a dick. Then nothing changes.
How the hell do I get things to change? I'm so tired of this. I know I struggle with my own pride and wanting him to figure shit out because I matter and not because I said to. We've been fighting a lot lately, and I don't know how I can remotely say something with it not being a huge argument.
TL;DR: | I've been fighting with my fiance about hanging out with his other friends all night while not being able to spend any time with him at all. I'm angry and hurt, and don't know how to change things. | Fiance keeps blowing off plans with me because he has time with his friends and doesn't want to do that with me. I know he is terrible with communicating and doesn't care about his feelings. How do I get him to |
SUBREDDIT: r/loseit
TITLE: NSV: A failure this week made me realise how far I've come
POST: My NSV actually comes on the wings of defeat. On Tuesday I totally binged, like, really bad, plus I'm working the back shift this week and it's screwing with my schedule. As a result, when I went to the gym the next day I failed miserably. Possibly one of the worst days I can recall recently at.
But, this lead to me realizing three victories I have had that I wouldn't have realized without this off day.
1) I have come SUPER far on my journey. I'm 35lbs down, and even though I failed my routine the other day, I still wouldn't have even been able to do it half that well a few months ago. So it may have been an off day for me considering the stage I'm at now, but it showed me that I really have come so far.
2) It showed me how important maintaining good eating habits really is. One bad day like that made me bloated, sick, and caused me to seriously under perform. Lesson learned!
And 3) I have had a total shift in attitude. A few months ago if I failed as poorly as I just did, I probably would have given up and relapsed into old habits. But now? Now I'm even more determined to continue to improve and impress myself even more than I have. This time getting healthy is about ME. I want to prove to myself that I can do it, and it's working.
So even if you have a shitty day, week, or month, remember that you're still miles ahead of where you would be if you never even tried. So pull yourself back together and keep going. One successful day won't end in perfect results, just like one bad day won't ruin everything you've worked for.
TL;DR: | A shitty day this week may have made me realize my journey this year has been pretty much dead-straight, but the next steps you take will mean a whole lot more than what you think. Remember that, even if you have | A bad day today made me realize just how far I've come since the beginning of this year. And even if you have a shitty day, week, or month, remember that you're still miles ahead of where you would be if |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Post 86 After Tax Contributions
POST: Many people advocated the following:
1. 401(k) up to the company match
2. Max Roth 401(k) (or traditional I don't want to debate that now)
3. Finish maxing out 401(k)
4. Max HSA contributions (if an HSA is the right choice for you again don't want to debate that now)
Now let's say I've done all of that. And lets say my company allows me to contribute to a Post 86 After Tax account [up to $51,000 MINUS all employee & employer contributions to 401(k)]
Can someone explain to me what the benefits of this After Tax account are versus a normal taxable account?
How about the disadvantages?
___________
TL;DR: | IF I DON'T TAKE A TRADITIONAL APPROACH TO A TRADITIONAL 401(k) THEN A TRADITIONAL AFTER TAX ACCOUNT IS THE SAME AS A NONSENSE AND IS DIFFER | Want to contribute to an after-tax account for a company that allows max contributions to 401(k), max Roth 401(k), max HSA contributions and max contributions to Roth 403(b), but I don't want to debate the |
SUBREDDIT: r/running
TITLE: Amino energy before runs?
POST: I did my first ever 7 mile run yesterday and felt like I could go miles and miles further when I was done. The person I run with was extremely exhausted by the end of it and started to slow down a lot the last two miles. We've run 4-5 miles a handful of times and I'm the one that is normally cursing the world at the end of it while she could keep running.
I thought this was pretty weird since she is much better at getting the other days of running and other cardio in training for a half marathon while I am normally too exhausted after lifting to do the full amount on our plan.
On the 7 mile run I figured I needed a boost before hand so I had some amino energy, and sure enough by the end of the run I felt like a million bucks. I was also pretty pumped to set a personal best for distance in one run though too. I was wondering if the reason I felt so much better even though I ran 2 miles further than ever before was the amino energy, the excitement from setting a personal best, a mix of both, or neither?
TL;DR: | I ran my first 7 mile run yesterday feeling great even though my schedule was extremely hectic with my training for a half marathon and a half marathon training run with my girlfriend. Did amino energy help boost my run? Neither. | I ran my first 7 mile run and felt great even though I was running 2 miles further than normal. Did the amino energy before the run from the start boost me and made me feel better even though I only ran 2 miles further than |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Concerned about my friend's health, nowhere to turn.
POST: I'm typing this shaking right now, so bear with me.
My best friend of my entire life, birth to now, just called me to say his mom left his dad. But it isn't that simple, as in a regular divorce.
His mom has a very obscure mental disorder, an offshoot of bipolar and schizophrenia. The medication she takes restricts her episodes to occurring every few years and they change each time. We think this is one of them, she was having some physical symptoms, but nothing we could point to. She flat out left his dad, but I don't have all the reasons now.
The plot thickens, as they have 3 sons. The youngest my friend, is 18. The other 22, another 25. The 25 year old has the same disorder as his mom, and is at home recovering from the first episode he had, triggered by a separate family issue. It is very much so within the realm of possibility that my friend has the same disorder, and I'm worried for his mental health.
He's expressed that he is distraught over the leaving, but feels mentally normal. I need to know how to help him. I guess that the best course of action would to not speculate on the disorder and help with the issue at hand, the grief of his parents splitting. Could somebody with experience in helping people, or dealing with divorce, please help me? I don't know what to say to him. Please, anybody, with anything help me. He's my best friend and it's killing me to see him like this.
Shit, I started crying now... Dammit.
TL;DR: | Oldest of my friend's mother has bipolar disorder, she left him and now he's distraught, but he's perfectly normal like my friend. Don't know what to do to help him. | friend's mom left him, the disease he has is different, I need to know how to help but also be there for him to comfort him if he starts to feel like shit about himself. I'm sad for him right now. |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: Should I buy a new phone?
POST: I have a htc one m7 unlocked, I rooted the phone and flashed CM10 on it, also I just dropped it and the screen is cracked.
I honestly am tired to mess with my phone so I'm not going to buy any screen replacement to try to repair it
I was going to pay the phone repair place to fix my software to put it back to stock
They told me it's going to be 200$ for the whole thing, and with 220$ I can buy a htc one on ebay...
should i buy one on ebay and sell this one on craigslist or should I wait for christmas with the cracked screen and get a brand new One Plus One and sell my phone on craigslist?
TL;DR: | cracked screen on the htc one m7 unlocked and will be 200$ for the whole thing. should I buy a new one on ebay or should I wait for christmas with my cracked one and sell it on craigslist | I have a cracked htc one m7, i have 220$ for 100$ repair and should i buy a new one and sell it on craigslist or should i wait till christmas to buy a new One Plus One and |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My husband wants friends, but only female friends.
POST: I accidentally (yes, for real) stumbled upon the "meet me app" on my husbands phone.
He claims that he was using it to try and meet friends in our area. (He is a stay at home father and in general doesn't have any pals) For the most part, his replies to other people were innocuous, but he recently posted about getting a cock ring and wanting to test it on someone (and we did later that night).
When I confronted him about the app he explained that he wanted to make friends, but specifically, female friends- but only since he hasn't had any female friends since college (which is when we got together). I desperately want to believe this since I know he gets pretty lonely around here with just our toddler to keep him company. He deleted the app at my insistence, but I know that doesn't mean much.
I want to believe that he is innocent and I'm freaking out, but at the same time, I subscribe to the Steve Harvey school of thinking about heterosexual friendship.
I'm an incredibly jealous and territorial woman (we're both in late 20s, been together for 10 years), so the fact That he even wants "girl-friends" gets me riled.
TL;DR: | Husband of 10 years wants female friends, but only if he hasn't had any since college (we got together when we were in high school). What does this mean and what do I do? | My husband wants female friends, only female friends- but only since he hasn't had any female friends since college. I want to believe he's being sincere, but I'm jealous. What do I do? (x-post r/ |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [28 M] and GF [28 F] have been dating and living together for 2 years, today she wants to end in because we are not engaged yet.
POST: I met my GF in the same company I work at. After a few long months of pursuing, we finally started dating. Only after a few months of dating, she moved in to my apartment. As our relationship got more serious, she started asking when we would get married. I have always told her that it was too early and that we needed to get our things in order.
We've been very close and happy until this morning when she finally broke down and told me that if I don't want to get married, there is no need for her to be in the relationship. I do not consider getting married - not with her, not with anyone else. I love her very much but she is giving me an ultimatum that I don't think I can say yes to. I don't want to be pressured into marriage.
I am pretty sure, you guys read this sort of dilemma every single day but never have I thought I'd be in it.
I am torn, heartbroken and speechless. I do want to keep what we have without the pressure of marriage. I guess, I am going to have to let her go, if this isn't going to work for her anymore.
What do you think?
TL;DR: | Gf of 2 years wants to get married/divorce us before considering the relationship any more. We are both very happy and in love. I think the pressure of marriage is too much, we are stuck with each other. Time to | My GF of 2 years wants to get married after only 2 years of dating, I do not. She says if I don't want to get married now, there is no need for her to be in the relationship anymore. I am torn |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21 M] dated with my ex [20 F] for 2 years, have been broken up for about a year and a half now, still talk time to time but I want her back.
POST: Her and I started dating before my senior/her junior year in high school. I went to college in a different state for my first year and a half and I broke up with her when I was home over break halfway into my freshman because the long distance thing wasn't gonna work for us and I thought it was for the better.
When I came home that summer we started hanging out, going out to dinner, and having sex just like before. I never wanted to make things official again because I would just be leaving for school again in a few months. I continue this with her til the day I left for school. A few weeks of little contact when I'm at school and she texts me to tell me that she has a new boyfriend and that she is sorry. I was really mad about it at first and thought it was wrong of her, but then again I never put strings on anything when I came home that summer.
Now to the present. A year and a half into college (last Spring) I transferred to a university much closer to my home therefore much closer to her. We have hung out once since then (last Fall maybe), I took her to dinner and we just chatted and hung out with my dog (he's much better with the ladies than I am). When she was leaving my house I kissed her and she didn't pull but I could tell there was nothing to it (if that makes sense). She told me some lines about how she is too busy with school/work/etc etc etc to be dating anyone and brought up things that I mistreated her when I left for school, old issues.
We still talk now time to time, mostly casual stuff about work and school. She is open to making plans though, but assures me her schedule is really busy. What is my best plan of action to make her fall for me again or should I just be done with it?
TL;DR: | dated with ex, she wanted to make things official after I left for school, we haven't talked since, recently decided to start talking again but she doesn't seem to be falling for me anymore. what should I do? | Broke up with gf of two years a year and a half into college. She wants to try again but I am not interested and I want her back as well as I haven't in years. We still have some good times and |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [27F] ex-boyfriend [28M] is now my co-worker. His sister [25F] threatened to destroy my life if I don't stay away from him.
POST: My ex and I were together for about 1.5 years. We broke up 4 years ago.
He's autistic. He's not low functioning but he struggled with communication and social interactions significantly. I tried my best during those 1.5 years but it was so difficult. I loved him and wanted the best for him but being with him had become very difficult. So I left. He didn't want us to break up and told me that he'd try to change but he had promised me that too many times before. I don't blame him, it's a disability, but I couldn't stay in that relationship. I knew he'd be hurt so I suggested that he'd get help dealing with it.
Anyway, we didn't remain in contact. At that time I was friends with his sister but she never talked to me after I broke up with him.
Last week I started a new job. I had no idea he's working at the same place but I saw him there. We didn't talk much, only that I started working here. It's a big company and we work in different departments, we won't run into each other regularly.
Today his sister called me and asked to have lunch. I agreed. Well she freaked out completely on me. I had never seen her like that. It was like she hated me in every imaginable way. She told me I shouldn't talk to my ex, I shouldn't even look at him, I shouldn't try to enter his life and if she learns that I've done anything to get close to him she'll make sure my life is a living hell and that I have no idea what she's capable of.
I was shocked at her level of anger and asked if something had happened to him and she told me that I left so I don't have a right to ask questions. She repeated the threats.
I'm still in shock. My mom thinks I should go to the police although I don't think she's a violent person. She was angry. I don't know what to do here.
TL;DR: | I left my disabled ex who wasn't being helped with his disability and mental issues. His sister threatened to destroy my life if I don't stay away from him. Now I'm in touch with him daily and have evidence that he's still | My ex-boyfriend and his sister are threatening to ruin my life if I don't stay away from them if I work at the same company. I'm still very angry. I don't know what to do. Thanks. |
SUBREDDIT: r/loseit
TITLE: [F, 5'5", SW: 165, CW: 159] I dropped 3.44% body fat over the course of the semester; my triceps skin-fold went from 19mm to 13mm!!
POST: So I'm a Kinesiology major, and one of my classes this semester was a Physical and Motor Fitness Assessment. So lots of training was done to hit specific physical goals; for example, based on body weight I needed to leg press 355, I had to vertical jump 22 inches, and run a 21.0 200m dash (I got a B with 21.5 seconds), and many more diabolical things.
It's a tough course.
At the start of the semester we did a body composition lab, taking measurements and skin-folds to assess our risks of developing health problems as we age.
**My original numbers:**
Height- 5'5"
Weight- 165 lbs
Triceps- 19mm
[Iliac Crest] 16mm
Thigh- 18mm
Waist- 29 in.
Hips- 41 in.
[Body Fat Percentage] *21.12%*
**My new numbers:**
Height- 5'5"
Weight- 159.1 lbs
Triceps- 13mm
Iliac Crest- 14mm
Thigh- 16mm
Waist- 29 in.
Hips- 41 in.
Body Fat Percentage- *17.68%*
*****
I'm in shock.
I was always the kinda lazy basketball player, always somewhat out of shape for the season. I could play entire games without sitting, but I wasn't as good as I could have been. I was able to get away with it due to good fundamental skills, unfortunately. I've never trained for anything like I have for this class. I assume it's because I'm getting a grade...
TL;DR: | I dropped 3.44% body fat over the course of the semester, my triceps skin-fold went from 19mm to 13mm, I'm super excited about the progress I'm making, and am extremely proud of my progress!! | I dropped 3.44% body fat over the course of the semester; my skin-fold decreased from 19mm to 13mm, which means I have a 17% body fat percentage. I'm in awe! |
SUBREDDIT: r/Parenting
TITLE: Daughter watches too much "crap" on Youtube, need tips for merging between learning and having fun.
POST: I need advice with helping my 8yo daughter make a better use of her time. Right now, most of her free time goes to watching fanmade videos and watching a bunch of My Little Pony videos. And then playing video games on the PC. I can see these things taking their toll over her brain. She's kinda addicted and her grades became lower because during exams she's not concentrated but instead she's thinking about the things she watched on youtube.
I need help with maybe some sites or youtube channels that could occupy her but be more productive for her. She likes science, so I'm looking for any kids-friendly science show I could get for her. She likes stories. So if there's any youtube channel with good stories for kids that could enrich her vocabulary or expose her to good storytelling and literature. I'm a real big fan of finding productive habits to do for fun in your free time. So how can I merge learning with fun? I'm in a really busy period atm so I can't always be with her teaching new things. She'd have to do a lot of it during her free time alone.
TL;DR: | daughter watches too much "crap" on Youtube, needs some good ways to make her learn useful habits and interests with fun instead of boring facts. Need help helping her find productive ways to learn and have fun in her free time. | 8yo daughter watches too much "crap" on youtube. I need some good learning habits for her to be more productive in her free time. Also, kids-friendly science show and books for learning. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Parents of Reddit: Why did you think it was appropriate to purchase your child and/or teen a laptop and/or iPhone?
POST: I'm a parent of two kids. My wife and I have made a pact that we will, under no circumstances, buy our kids laptops or goddamn iPhones while they are children, and even when they are teens (college, perhaps). I see the value in each item in this modern era, but they are just luxuries which aren't needed to function on a day to day basis. Furthermore, if your argument is that kids need to be/feel connected to their friends or the world, what's wrong with just buying them a simple cell phone, or only allowing them to use the home desktop PC? I would also argue that both devices are huge distractions and aside from an educational benefit (learning resources, calculators, word processors etc), they serve no other purpose to a kid or teen other than games and facebook.
TL;DR: | Parents of Reddit: why did you think it was appropriate to buy your child/teen a laptop/iphone and/or prohibit your kids from using them while they are young and what else would you recommend to them? | Why did you think it was appropriate for a parent to buy a child/teen a laptop/iphone when they are not necessary, and even if they are needed, just don't buy a laptop or iPhone? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: So depressed, now I find myself unable to eat, anyone have ideas on how I can make my body let me eat?
POST: I have been very depressed lately, I was recently discharged from the navy for a concussion and migraines, which started my depression as I was training for one of the hardest jobs in the military and was doing surprisingly well. Ended up moving home. Now I'm extremely lonely, I have random Hookups... As in I've slept with 7 people in the last two months, but every time it makes me feel worse than before. I just want someone to care about me, and now I find myself unable to eat, and when I try to eat I become physically sick and my body won't let me keep my food down. I'm starving but every time I eat I get nauseous and vomit not long after. I am a pretty physically fit person, so this is also ruining my workout routine as I usually intake about 3-3.5k calories a day. How can I get over people not caring about me, or how can I get my food to stay in my stomach? Can reddit give me some help?
TL;DR: | depressed due to concusses, now that I'm back home from the navy I feel like my body doesn't care much about eating and I'm severely depressed since I work out so little, what can I do? | depressed, unable to eat, unable to go to gym, I am sick, eat normally, vomit when I eat, any ideas how I can make this stop? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Need sex advice: Can't cum with a condom, gf won't return oral sex (nsfw)
POST: My current girlfriend is the only girl I've ever had penetrative sex to orgasm with. We've been having sex using the pull-out method, but the other week I got a little excited and didn't pull out in time. Now, even though she's on the pill, she insists on me using a condom. The problem is that I simply can't have an orgasm in a condom, I've never been able to, and I have rarely been able to stay hard long enough to put one on.
This problem is made worse by her unwillingness to return oral sex. I go down on her frequently, usually multiple times in one night and then again in the morning for good measure, but she never returns the favor. I don't know if she has any particular reason other than perhaps it just grosses her out, but I feel like I'm being left hanging.
So my current situation is that I can't get oral from my girlfriend, and I also can't keep it up while wearing a condom, so I'm left finishing myself off when she leaves.
The condom thing is more important to me. I feel like this is a bigger issue, since I feel like I should be more aroused than I am, and seeing that most guys don't seem to have a problem maintaining and finishing with a condom. Is there a way for me to enhance my arousal, or make myself more sensitive?
The oral thing is still important too, is it something that I should be able to just ask her about?
TL;DR: | I can't orgasm in a condom, girlfriend won't return oral sex, want to enhance my arousal without forcing her to accept my condom use. How do I go about this? (nsfw) | I can't climax with a condom, and it's making me feel grossly unattractive and unappealing to my girlfriend. How can I become more aroused/more sensitive to her response to my attempts to get oral from her? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by accidentally drinking poisonous motor oil
POST: I was working on my wifes small all-wheel drive SUV this weekend. It was a 95 F day with 90% humidity, and I was guzzling water and iced tea all day. I changed the gear oil in the rear differential. The normal color of the special gear oil is a light amber shade, but with 75k miles on this oil, it had changed to a dark cherry-cola color. In order to inspect it, I poured the oil into a emtpy Dr. Pepper plastic bottle, and put it on the work bench for later visual inspection for debris or anything out of the ordinary. Regarding the empty Dr. Pepper bottle- about 6 months ago I went from being a 3 soda a day addict to maybe one a month, in the process dropping 15 lbs. Out of habit I usually have 2-3 emtpy clear plastic bottles saved up for holding automobile fluids for inspection, hence the reason I still had this particular empty bottle. Many hours later, dying of thirst, I spied the Dr. Pepper bottle on the work bench and decided "wow, that would really hit the spot right now". A small part of my brain said "wtf, I do not remember bringing a bottle of Dr. Pepper out to the garage", but the other part of my brain that had been addicted to Dr. Pepper for years said "shut the fuck up and drink it !". I drank it. The moment I took a drink I knew I had fucked up and immediately spit it out- into my teenage sons face who happened to have come out to ask me a question and was in spitting range. I wiped my mouth out with a clean shop rag, ran inside and proceeded to wash my mouth out 5-6 times with dishwashing detergent. Fortunately my son did not get any into his eyes so he just needed to wash his face 2-3 times. - Today I learned that GM Versatrak gear fluid tastes horrible; the phrase "harmful or fatal if swallowed" just might apply to me; and that Dawn dishwashing detergent tastes far better in comparison. - After a visit to the emergency room, I realized my doc had a sense of humor when she quipped "All those times your mom threatened to wash out your mouth with soap, and you finally did it yourself."
TL;DR: | accidentally drank motor oil in an empty Dr. Pepper bottle while inspecting my auto fluids, and almost swallowed the bottle with my mouth full of Dawn dishwashing detergent. - Gave Dawn dishwashing detergent the old fashion way. | ried to inspect gear oil, accidentally drank motor oil, spit it out on my son's face, learned to never use Dawn dishwashing detergent for cleaning mouth and other cavities. - Took a shower and learned that Dawn dishwashing |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [20F] slept with occasional fling [21M], but found out that my friend [20F] liked him.
POST: So, me and this guy have been occasionally sleeping with each other for the past 2 years. By occasional, I mean like every few months. I used to really like him but now, I'm okay with our fling. We have some mutual friends but both of us are pretty private people, so the fling was kept pretty down low.
Last night, a bunch of us went out and I guess we weren't being as private as we used to be (making out on the dance floor). Suddenly, he pulled me aside and told me that one of my friends (20F) used to/maybe still is into him, and she told him a few months ago. This came out of the blue for me. And then he basically put it in my hands to decide whether we should hook up, like he was down if I was down. The mixture of horniness and drunkness drove me to agree to sex.
So I realized I fucked up by sleeping with someone that my friend was into (didn't know when we were making out but I did when we had sex). I feel like I need to apologize to her, but I don't know if she knows I know she liked/likes? him, and she might not appreciate that her privacy was broken. What can I say? What should I do? I really value my friendship with her so I really want to apologize.
TL;DR: | slept with a guy that my friend told me she liked, now I realize that she used to like him and she might hate me if I apologized and tell her now I slept with him. what do I do? | Sleeped with a fling, and my friend told one of my friends about us. She liked the fling and may not like me back. Do I owe it to her to apologize and explain why I slept with her friend? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [23M] needs support on how to move on from someone you love after they choose something over you. [x/Post /r/relationships]
POST: My girlfriend [19F] of ten months and I recently broke up. It has been a couple of months coming and we were fighting daily and it seems like nothing I did would get through to her.
She began going to clubs without me and met a 35 year old club promoter who began inviting her out right before we hit the breaking point.
Her best friend's aunt owns a famous nightclub in NYC. Said best friend was her counsel during our hard times and they want nothing to do with me so I can't ever attend.
I have not been perfect by any means, I have some very serious issues regarding trust which she knows about, and I tend to be very hurtful when she does something which upsets me.
The promoter I mentioned above began inviting her a lot, and I began to ge
t a little weary letting her go out alone (plus the friend that hates me) with another guy. So I asked her to delete his number. She told me she did.
I realized that was a lie about a week later when I asked her if he was still in her contacts and she said no repeatedly to my face and I discovered him there later on.
She now is completely immersed in a club scene. She's actually on her way there now. And I'm a loser without a girlfriend who's ex left him for parties.
I just need to not let my hatred for what she's done here fade, I get soft and she takes advantage immediately.
Thanks for reading my story
TL;DR: | Gf of ten months left ex bf of hers out on a nightclub, I became an asshole and snooped on her contacts and discovered why, now she's immersed in the nightlife and I'm a loser without a girlfriend | My girlfriend went to clubs with some guy I hate and did favors for him. I found out earlier on that she's already gone out with him again and I don't know what to do/say to her. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24M] with my gf [21F] of 5 months - My trust issues even worse now
POST: Please read my first post [here](
Well it just got worse.
A few months ago she told me about some guy she hung out with just as friends, lets say his name is Chris. She said she and Chris were just friends, because at the time she was indeed in a relationship with Fred.
She split with Fred because things weren't working out.
Anyway, I was on my gf's laptop and saw screenshots of her talking to some guy along with a Skype screenshot of her talking to him on video camera, named Chris, in an explicit sexual manner, dated at the same time she was going out with her Ex Fred.
This is a massive red flag to me, what's stopping her from doing the same to me? Should I approach her about it? I know she will get mad for me invading her privacy (even though we both have access to each others things, and these pics were literally in her 'My pictures' folder so its not like I read all her emails and invaded her privacy.) I know she is just going to deny it. I cant deal with that kind of of emotional trauma if she ever did that to me. Thoughts please.
TL;DR: | My gf admitted to watching private parts of her ex while they were together, this is a massive red flag to me. Don't know what to do. What to do? How can I handle the emotional stress of hearing this? | A guy I was hanging out with told my gf he was seeing her while they were broken up and she continued talking to him on Skype in explicit sexual manner. I feel violated. Her denying it is a major red flag to me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: He (24M) still has pictures, and I'm(24f) assuming masturbates to, his ex girlfriend
POST: We've been dating for about two and a half years. We live together outside our home town away from both our families. He spent his whole life savings getting me up here and has been a great boyfriend with minor bumps in the road.
The first time I saw the pictures I was devastated, this ex of his cheated on him and strung him along for a long time before he caught her. They had dated all through high school, and he's had 3 girlfriends his whole life (I'm the third) so I know he's the type to get really attached to his girls. He assured me he hadn't looked at them for awhile and that he would delete them immediately (and showed me as he deleted them). I felt bad for snooping.
The next time I caught wind of the pictures I was more angry than anything. See, the pictures are on his Google drive and I looked through his "recent" list, there they were, also further looking at the information details, they had been deleted then restored the very next day. I did not confront him about this because I was very ashamed at myself for snooping especially when I had told him I wouldn't do it anymore. I asked him casually about the pictures and if he deleted or knew how to restore pictures, he "assured" me they were gone and he didn't even know how to restore them.
Today I snooped again, and I don't know what to do at this point. I'm mad at both of us, the pictures had been looked at again YESTERDAY along with a bunch of random hentai I know he doesn't want me to know he's in to (I could care less but he's sensitive)
The pictures I'm talking about are hundreds.. Of screen shots of old Skype calls, videos, folder after folder.. Things I never wanted to see.
I KNOW he's not cheating on me, but I feel like my trust has been betrayed. On the other hand, I have lied to him by snooping yet again, do the ends justify the means? Do I confront him yet again? How will I know he's not lying?
TL;DR: | Ex gf of two years saw my newly discovered photos on his Google drive, he's deleted them and hasn't told me why, don't know what to do or how to confront him about the pictures now that I snooped again | My boyfriend had pictures of old Skype conversations, videos, and folder after folder of things I don't want him looking at. He's a good boyfriend and I'm at my wits end how to proceed. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My SO [22 M] and I [21 F] relationship completely destroyed but I always catch myself coming back
POST: We've been together for about 3 1/2 years now. We are in long distance about 700 miles away. He's always been very controlling/manipulative about a lot of things. Doesn't like when I go out or hang with friends, hold a conversation with guys who are my friends, etc.
Things hit rock bottom when we both ended up cheating on each other. I slept with someone while he slept with 3 girls. After coming to me and telling me he felt bad, he confessed his 'love' towards me and all. However, I found out he was still hooking up with one of the girls from before and I believe still is even though he tells me he doesn't. My gut just gives me a feeling it's still going on.
I find it really hard to let go because since it is long distance, things could be a lot different between us if we could be together more. That's why I'm always coming back to him. However, after something like this happened, I don't know if things will ever change.
I don't want to continue to live my life being paranoid and in fear that this stuff will continue to happen while he plays with my head. How can I just learned to move on with my life without him?
TL;DR: | Boyfriend emotionally cheated on me, lied about it, admits love etc, but still is still hooking up with and sleeping with other girls. It's destroyed our relationship. How can I move on? | My boyfriend cheated on me and admitted his love. It's been so long since anything happened but it's still there and it's eating away at me. How can I just learn not to be so paranoid? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Im [28m] a lot more attractive now than when I first met girlfriend [29f] of 3 years. Play the field or stay in relationship?
POST: When I met Amber I was skinnyfat and broke. Fast forward to today and my career has taken off beyond my wildest dreams. Im making craploads of money. Last summer a bodybuilder friend of mine introduced me to HGH and steroids. Ive done a few cycles since and my body is amazing.
I get A LOT of attention from women. Which is bittersweet as I used to be treated like I was nonexistant. Horny thoughts bombard my mind all day.
My gf Amber has pretty much stayed the same as when I met her. Shes not very ambitious and average in looks. I feel comfortable around her but I have this strong urge to see what else is out there, all those sexual opportunities I didnt have before are here now... but I also feel guilty and selfish thinking this way.
And I feel worse knowing that a year ago we were planning to possibly get married and start a family. My parents like her and her parents adore me. I get along with her siblings etc. It would suck to have to build all that up again.
But still...
TL;DR: | Been with a great girl for a while. She has great body but isnt ambitious and looks average. I cant get her out of my head and feel self conscious about my body. How do I move forward with my career from here | I'm very attractive, my gf probably looks the same as when we met. Feel bad for not having any sexual experiences before marrying her and start our family. But feel guilty for thinking about getting married and starting a family when I'm |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [22F] think my husband [23M] of 1.5 years just told me that I took his virginity. Not sure how I feel
POST: No earth shattering relationship drama here, but I'm confused. When my husband and I met, we had sex after about a week. He told me that he hadn't had sex in about 4/5 years. As we got to know each other better, I asked him more about his sex life, because I like sharing this kind of stuff. He said that he'd slept with two girls before me (in HS). He also said that sex with them was awkward, especially with his ex gf from High School, because she was very religious.
We've always had a great sex life. He seemed a little inexperienced/rusty in the beginning, but he's great and always takes charge.
So it took me by surprise when I learned today that I gave him his first bj. He was joking around, saying that I'm the nicest girl ever and the only girl who's ever given him a bj. I was shocked. I didn't know that. I asked more about his sex experiences in HS because now I was curious. Well, aparently he's only had sex with one girl, but he was ashamed to admit that to me so he said it was two. Also, this one girl only wanted to have anal sex with him, because she was religious, and I guess she thought that that wouldn't piss god off as much. My husband says that they only had sex a handful of times, and that it was awkward and 'forced' (not as in non-consensual, just with no passion.
I feel really weird about this - did I take his virginity then? Is it okay if I'm a little annoyed, because it feels like he lied to me? I just feel superweird about this. Of course not like 'I want a divorce!' W
weird, just weird.
TL;DR: | My husband said he only had sex with one girl, but only once, and that it was awkward and forced. I'm upset and don't know what to think. Was I wrong to find this odd? | My husband told me in a joking way that he's only had sex with one girl, but before he did that, he admitted that it was two. He also said that they only had anal sex with him. I'm super weird about |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: [CA] Possible consequences of welfare shenanigans.
POST: Several months ago, my wife and I had a large fight which resulted in my expulsion from the home via restraining order for 10 weeks. I have since resolved (most) of the issues with my wife, but one thing continues to plague both of us.
While I was out of the home, she filed the necessary paperwork to begin receiving benefits from the State. This included CalWorks, a cash benefit, as well as CalFresh, effectively food stamps. She also is receiving assistance for tuition and books at school.
When she signed up for everything, she truthfully advised the social worker that we had 2 kids, and that she was making zero income. The benefits she is receiving were calculated based on those figures.
Now that I am back home, she is terrified that she is going to get into trouble for taking unauthorized benefits. She told them as soon as I moved back in that I was there, but at the time, we were still working out what would happen with out relationship, and I moved back in purely to avoid having to pay rent at two locations. Nesting is the term, I believe.
To this day, our relationship is still strained, and we still fight. So much so that she has expressed to me that she still has moments of doubt about where we are going. That is something for /r/relationships though. What I'm wondering is what kind of trouble she could get in to, if any? She has admitted to the social worker that I am back in the house, but I don't know if she formally filed any paperwork alerting them to the change in status. The circumstances regarding our relationship are the same now as they were then: I live there, and we are amicable, but we are more roommates than partners.
TL;DR: | Wife went from receiving food stamps and assistance to receiving cash assistance and full-time work, while falsely claiming to be making zero income. Can she get into trouble for taking unauthorized assistance? What are the details, if any? | My wife took government assistance and CalWorks (food stamps), but was not paying, after previously agreeing to pay for us out of pocket. What kind of trouble could she get in to? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: My SO and I babysit a friend's kids while she works, she accused us of bruising her 2 month old son. What would you do?
POST: Just like the title says. We've known her for about two years, she used to live next door. She has a 5 year old son and a 2 month old son. The 5 year old can be a hellraiser but he's a good kid. The 2 month old is..a baby. He does baby stuff. He's pretty relaxed, unlike a lot of babies I've seen. Doesn't cry a lot, etc. We treat him with kid gloves, obviously. He's a baby. We're gentle.
Tonight, she calls and says to me, "I hate to lose a babysitter but there's a bruise on the baby's back that wasn't there yesterday."
This pissed me off, and I repeated what she said back to her, absolutely shocked and confused. I then handed the phone to my SO, who asked her a few questions, then hung up. She called the woman back a few minutes later, explaining that we were both very offended that she would accuse us like that. She claimed that she didn't mean to make it an accusation, and now that she's thought more about it, she thinks it happened when she put him in the sink for his bath, that the sink stopper might have done it.
What would you do? Would you keep babysitting? Would you tell her to find someone else?
TL;DR: | SO babysits friends kids while she works with them, the baby is a hellraiser, accused us of bruising him, said she didn't mean to imply it but she does. What would you do? | My SO and I babysit a friend's kids while she works, she accused us of bruising the baby's back. What would you do? Would you keep babysitting? Would you tell the girl to look |
SUBREDDIT: r/loseit
TITLE: A lot lost and now I'm a little lost.
POST: I've been lurking in loseit for a while (25/M/5'10) and have been using it to get motivation and tips from others to help me find success with my own weight loss. I have something to share which was my motivation for loosing weight and now has put me in a place where I need some help.
About a year ago I met someone online. I had a few dates with this person until he told me how great and wonderful I was but he decided to see someone else. The positioning of his rejection seemed to me that he was rejecting me for my weight, which was 242 at the time.
Over the course of the last year I have dropped my weight to 180 for a 62lb loss. I was happy with myself even though I could still be more little in the middle.
I decided to try dating again and met someone who I found great comfort being around and to be a wonderful person in general. Things were progressing along swimmingly until recently. After a great date in the park with dinner and drinks things started heating up. About ten minutes in he stopped, looked at me with the saddest face, and said, "I'm not physically attracted to you and I don't want to continue this relationship." I was crushed. We talked for about an hour afterwords. As far as breakups go it couldn't have gone better. He said something that resonated with me. He said it more delicately but the gist of it was "I think you are attractive but I can't get passed your body."
Now to what brings me here. I've been working hard to get to this point in my weight loss. I just started yoga and have been feeling great. The end of this wonderful romance has made me question myself and my body. I'm disappointed in myself for not trying harder or not seeking out help when I needed it. I have some lack of motivation today for a combination of having my love life snuffed out in a single sentence and a disappointment with my body. I don't know where to go from here.
TL;DR: | Met someone online who I fell for, said he wasn't physically attracted to me and couldn't continue the relationship. Now questioning my body and love life. | Met someone online that I fell hard for on a date and he said he wasn't physically attracted to me but wanted to continue our relationship. I'm really bummed but I feel like my body is not what I really want and what it |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: BK, Relief from Stay, and Selling the Loan
POST: Here is a situation I've come across and am interested to hear about the legal ramifications. Not looking for "official" legal advice, just thoughts on the situation.
BK declared in 2011. The bank obtained a relief from stay in April 2012 and since that time Borrower has been calling them trying to get the ball rolling on the foreclosure process. Borrower's ex is unwilling to do a Short-Sale or work toward a DIL for some reason; they are now officially divorced and the only alternative (because it's the only one she is willing to move forward on) is foreclosure.
Borrower just found out that the bank has sold his loan to another bank. The process is likely to start all over again with "what can we do to modify this loan for you" and that will take months to wade through. Good times.
My question is this: If the Borrower's old bank was the one who pursued the relief from stay under the terms of the BK, can that relief from stay just be essentially transferred to the new bank and new servicer? I understand that the relief from stay allows the old bank the ability to pursue options with respect to moving forward with foreclosure, but can they just sell the troubled loan to another company with the relief from stay in place?
TL;DR: | Can a relief from stay on a BK be effectively transferred to a new lender and servicer with a different agreement in place about foreclosure procedures? | If a bank issued a relief from stay to a borrower, did the relief then transfer to the new bank that would be responsible for foreclosing on the borrower's property? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [20M] wanted a break with my GF [ 19f] of 1.2 years, now I need help to get her back
POST: My gf and I had broken up about a month ago for constant fighting to, IMO over pretty mundane stuff. We hadn't fought before then really, but we are at different schools about 5 hours apart and the distance finally got to us.
Initially it was just a break, she needed space and so did I. However, I tried to reconcile things last week. She said she didn't want to do distance, saying it made her always miss me and held her back socially. But kept sending mixed signals like she wants to date in the summer around may and how she still feels about me. The discussion ended on poorer terms than I would of wanted. Largely due to me.
I don't know what to do. I personally can't take a pause, I feel like Ill lose the intimacy we had and maybe even her. She's has gone the entire year but bails when we are so close to being together for the summer.
Should I continue giving her space for a few more weeks then speak to her again? If so what line should I take? I don't want to sound desperate.
TL;DR: | My gf and I split, she said she wanted to date during the summer after distance, after thinking we could get back together I gave her space and now she says she wants to date but won't commit. What should I do? | Gf wanted a break and I gave it. Now she says she wants to date in the summer but I'm not ready for that and have lost the intimacy we once had. How should I proceed? Am I right to give her space |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24 M] with my maybe now ex [21 F] less than a year, just a general quick question.
POST: This wont take long, ill give a brief summary of the relationship and then ask the question, I think this is the right subreddit, if not my apologies.
We have been "together" for around 8 months now, we dont see much of each other because she is busy so much (she has a kid and a very busy job). She said I was her boyfriend fairly early on but we havent seen much of each other so Ive never really felt it.
So basically in 8 months ive seen her twice. I think you can see why I never really felt it.
Anyway the question: earlier today we were talking about this kind of thing and she doesnt think its fair to me to "have" to wait even though I said im okay with that.
She suggested having a "break" and thats something Ive never encountered before. I went along with it because I striaght out told her that if she wanted to end it I would respect her choice and I meant that, I really have a lot of respect for her intelligence.
I get what it means, she wants to be apart for a month or two (her words) and then see how we feel, but given how we almost never see each other this seems more to me like a break up than anything. Am I wrong in thinking that?
Cause this sounds to me like just a very slow way for her to break things off.
TL;DR: | Had a relationship with a girl, said im okay with her ending it but she has a break planned for a while and says im not allowed to do that since its too fast for me. Am I wrong in thinking its unfair to her | Might have been my first "official" girlfriend, she wanted a break but I said im okay with it, but I still think we should talk some more before we break up, am I wrong to think that? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by mishearing a student
POST: I teach in Australia, where it is normal for schools to have a 'no-hat-no-play' policy (so in Spring and Summer time, students must wear a hat at break times). My school also has a strict response to bad language. So here I was, on yard duty, on the first day of term after our spring vacation, getting kids to put on their hats and guiding those without them into a sheltered area. I sprung one hatless student on the handball court, and when he told me he'd forgotten his hat, I said he needed to move off the court into the shade. Under his breath he muttered, "For fucks sake."
I HATE responding to things like this. I actually don't give a shit. But I'm not meant to let stuff like that go. So I march him up to his classroom teacher, and start to tell the story of what happened. The kid hangs his head in acceptance that he has done something wrong, but when I tell his teacher, "And then he mumbled under his breath, 'For fucks sake'", this kid turns white and freaks. "I didn't say that! I didn't! I said, 'It's the first day'!" He was telling the truth.
So after apologising to him profusely, I have my fingers crossed that this kid didn't go home and say to his parents, "A teacher dropped the F-bomb in front of me today".
TL;DR: | I told a kid in a school playground that he needed to get his hat on because the school had a no-hat-no-play policy. He said it was the first day of term and his bad language tainted the whole day | Told a bad language student to move off the court into the shade when I saw him mumble under his breath to himself, he turned white and freaked when I told him it was the first day of school. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Question to any Redditors employed in aerospace, aeronautical engineering fields..
POST: I have always been interested in science and tech since I was little and more specifically airplanes and rocket ships (who isn't right?). After highschool, I did a Bachelor's degree in Political Science and then went to college and did a certificate in Commercial Aviation / aeronautics. THEN, I did my pilot's flight training receiving my commercial single-engine pilot's license.
I am now incredibly in debt with student loans and am no closer to achieving my goal of working at NASA (or any private aerospace firm for that matter).
I need your advice to help me find a decent college / uni program that can help me break into this field. I'm currently looking into doing a college computer science program or doing another bachelor's degree, this time in computing and Information Systems.
I am hoping some of you who are already working in the field can point me in the right direction and give me some guidance on what to do!
Background: I have BA (political science), Certificate in Commercial Aviation, a private and commercial pilot license, and am currently teaching basic computers and accounting at a local community college.
TL;DR: | I am in debt with student loans and no close path to achieving my dream of working at NASA or any other private aerospace firm, I need some advice on what path to take to gain a better understanding of the field. | I need help finding a decent college program in aeronautical engineering that will help me become an experienced pilot and start to work for NASA. Any ideas and recommendations would be greatly appreciated! |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [30 M] with my Long distance GF [25 F] for 10 years, I love her but I can't keep this up any more.
POST: We meet in 2003-2004 in a chat room. We hit it off and quickly fell in love. The problem? She lives in an other country. I'm From the US and she's in Canada. She refuses to move in with me in the US because she has family their. And i refuse to move because I have a house, job, life and family here.
But after 10 years, I want more. I want kids. I want someone to call me Daddy. I want to to have a wife live with me in my house. She does too but we can come to therms with moving to each others places. We've meet already btw. A lot of times. I travel from New york to Vancouver once every two years.
I just don't know any more. Is it worth leaving the women i love to find an other close by to start a new life? One that I want?
TL;DR: | LDR GF doesn't want to move to the US due to family. I love her but I can't keep this up any longer. I want her to move with me but not out of spite for family or anything. | Long distance relationship, love each other, want kids, want a wife to live with me in my house, she's in another country. I don't know how to do it any more. I want a new life that I can call |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [23 F] with my boyfriend [21 M] of 1 year, do I have the right to be annoyed at him for staying out late with his/our friends?
POST: My live-in boyfriend and I used to have the same friend circles that were largely co-ed... a healthy number of girls and boys. This friend group has since drifted apart and I am now one out of two girls in the friend group, the rest are eight boys that my boyfriend and I get along very well with.
The other girl in my group is in a relationship with someone that occasionally but very rarely hangs out with us, so now most times she is off hanging out with his friends, leaving me to be the only girl in the group. I generally get along with boys more than I do with girls, due to growing up a little bit of a tomboy until the age of fourteen (I climbed trees, ripped dresses, dressed in baggy boys clothes, had short hair etc etc).
That being said, my boyfriend and I had a talk about me finding more girl friends and maybe hanging out with the boys less for it to be healthier as the boys sometimes could not have 'man' talks with a girl around. I completely understand, even though I do not mind, and am used to these chats (that revolve around cars technology and women).
So sometimes I go off and have alone time or hang out with some of my other friends from the gym that I do not see very often.
I have no qualms with him going out with these boys for dinner/drinks, but this past week it has been 3 nights in a row. The rest of these boys are single, and my BF is the only one in a relationship. I want to tell him that staying out until 2am and coming home only when I text him is not ok, as it is making me feel as if i'm his mom. I do go out for drinks as well, but I come home at a reasonable time. Needless to say, I am annoyed. How do I approach this? Am I being unreasonable?
TL;DR: | y live-in boyfriend likes to hang out with his friends, and I get along with them well enough but this has become increasingly frequent. I find it annoying and feel like I am not welcome in his group of friends. How to I | F goes out drinking, alone time with other friends, then stays out until 2am and comes home only when texting him. Am I being unreasonable? |
SUBREDDIT: r/Dogtraining
TITLE: House-soiling issues with an 11 year old dog.
POST: Hello,
I'm unsure whether there is a questions thread or whatnot where I can ask the question I have so I made a post instead. Growing up, we had two dogs for the better part of 10 years and recently had to lose one to illness. Our current dog is an 11 year old Pointer mix who was never properly house-trained during those 10 years and has therefore developed house-soiling habits. Growing up I never really paid attention to it as I figured my dad whom had read a few books on the matter had claimed we could fix these habits. I've recently come to understanding that everyone in the house has simply given up on fixing this issue and it annoys me. With a new dog coming into the picture later this summer and a lot of free time this summer I'd like to fix this issue.
The dog, Ella, has habits of peeing on a training pad at the front door anytime we leave the house or when we go to bed. When she notices we go upstairs to get to bed in the evening, she will within 5 mins, pee on her pad, regardless of whether she's been out for a walk or in the backyard in the past hour. When we leave for extended periods of time(4+ hours) she will poop in the living room creating quite the unpleasant smell for a few hours.
A relative dog trainer has proposed changing where the training pads are to putting them beside the backdoor, and then gradually showing her to go outside. I've attempted to move the training pad and she will generally move her soiling area to where the pad is however, I'm uncertain on how to go about showing her to go outside or rather how to not pee in the house as I don't believe her issue is a lack of understanding that outside=toilet but rather that her issue stems from the lack of understanding that inside=/= toilet.
Any tips or help in how to break this habit? Will a new dog pick up this habit if the older dog does it?(our 1st dog did not) I'm sorry if the text is long.
TL;DR: | 11 year old Pointer is house-soiling (peeing and pooping outside of house) but is training by putting pads next to front door. My relative has suggested changing pad to outside but I don't know how to break this habit | My 11 year old Pointer dog has a habit of peeing on training pads outside of the front door at night and when we leave for extended periods of time and never get a chance to fix. How do I make her learn to deal with |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: 33F wondering if it is still possible to find true love beyond your 20ies
POST: I have been single for 7 years after things ended with a great guy. It was because of the long distance but even worse, various deaths and other tragedies in my family, a resulting depression from it and just in general a life that had been tough up until this point.
I have worked through this and for the last few years have finally been happy. I am living the life the way I want it now, have projects, friends, hobbies, travel etc. But what I haven't been able to find is a genuine man who really is available for true love.
Yes, I know, most people want relationships and love, but that doesn't mean they're truly ready to find their soulmate, stick with her or him to the end, be each others best friend, be completely vulnerable with each other etc.
It just feels like every guy I date has some major hang ups concerning relationships and that's why they're still single in their 30ies. Like they don't want committ, they want the player's lifestyle, or they have some racist or other views I cannot deal with. Or an addiction problem, mostly alcohol. Most guys I meet also seem to have someone somehow, either just sleeping with them, texting them etc. No one is truly available.
I feel like my difficult life has made me miss the chance to meet a guy who is interested in the same thing I am: committment, marriage, children, have a good, stable, drama free, drug free life, being kind to each other, making each other happy, being content just to watch a good movie together, have a nice dinner, tell each other all the stories, be there for each other through the good and the bad days... well you know you get my drift.
BTW: No, I am not saying it is impossible to get married at my age or just to find someone. This is never hard I guess. My issues is to find someone who is just as romantic and ready for the big deal just like me and doesn't have any major hang ups as described above.
TL;DR: | I have worked my way through the ups and downs of my life and feel that relationships are no longer an option for me anymore. Looking for potential men who are just as interested or able to commit/make a relationship work as I am and | I have been single for 7 years and feel so strongly for many reasons, it seems like every guy I date has some problems with relationships and/or commitment at their age or after their 30ies. It makes feel like you either aren't |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm [m25] and she's 24 and I don't think I can handle being in an open relationship with her anymore
POST: We started off as friends with benefits about 6 months ago. This is probably the longest FWB I've had in the past 3 years. Usually these relationships only last 1-3 months at most. I've never developed any emotional attachment to my previous hook up buddies and now I've gotten myself into a sticky situation. I for once actually care. I've tried hooking up with other girls since we're in an open relationship but I simply feel too guilty even after just making out with another girl. Before, I had no problem fucking two different girls in one day but I actually feel bad. Like I'm doing something wrong when in reality I know I'm not. She has given me the permission to go and sleep with whoever I want.
This has been the most drama filled friends with benefits relationship I've had. About every month she wants to break it off, so we do but then we always end up resuming where we left it off. Well in the past few weeks I've been thinking really hard about how I feel about her and I would really like to date her exclusively. Last night definitely reaffirmed it when I tried hooking up with another girl and I just kept thinking about her and like I said before I've never felt guilty about hooking up with other girls before until now and the worst is we are in an open relationship. I finally have what I always wanted. Someone I can hang out with and I get to have a great time and she also lets me see whoever I want. But the problem is I don't want that anymore. I'm pretty sure I couldn't handle the thought of her being with someone else. I definitely know that shes the only girl I want to be with at the moment.
I also know she really doesn't want a relationship. This is her first friends with benefits she ever had. I can tell she really enjoys the freedom of being able to do whatever she wants and not be constricted to only one person.
Anyways, judging from old patterns I can only wonder when she wants to just be friends again. I'm torn between ending it now before I become even more attached than I already am or should I just stick it through and see what will come of it.
TL;DR: | I hooked up with my best friend of many years while she was on a break and now I'm torn and wondering if I should end it now or when she gets back would prefer she just be friends again. | I think I'm ready to start dating but I'm not 100% sure about my girlfriend. I want to end things but also want to have something more exclusive from her if possible. I also don't know if I should just stick it |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Cheating - would you want to know?
POST: If your SO cheated behind your back with other women/men, would you want to know? Or be left in the dark?
If you knew of someone that fucked with other girls behind his girlfriend's/wife's back, would you tell the SO that didn't know?
Background to my question that I hope to get some kind of insight into:
My SO and I split up [both mid 20's].
We are together again now. While apart, she left her FB logged in on my computer, and like an asshole, I read her messages. Discovered some guy messaging her sexual flirty things and that his girl was out of town etc...she went with it (damn, still hurts to think about).
I don't think my SO knows that I know...
I contemplate emailing the guys SO very subtlety...I don't know though, I know what it's like to be on that end, and I don't want to hurt someone. But I also don't want to sit back knowing this coward can get away with this shit. I'm torn.
What would YOU do?
TL;DR: | Had SO cheat on me (unrequited), read her messages and decided to find out if she cheated on her SO. Would you wish for her to know?? And would it be better if I walked? | SO cheated with other women behind his girlfriend's/wife's back, I discovered. Would you want to know? If so, would you want to know now that it happened or forever guess? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [35 M] with my wife [35 F] of 11 years, I keep screwing things up, and then screwing up again by not working on fixing it.
POST: My wife and I have been together for about 15 years. I've done some stupid things, and have hurt her feelings many times in the past. The biggest things are that I am unreliable. She can't count on me at all. My wife is willing to continue our relationship, and I want to work on fixing these past mistakes. Even though, we are very close to divorce (her words), she and I have been talking every night before bed about the problems we've had, and how I can learn to make things better.
The problem is that we've done this before, and we work on things every night for a couple weeks, and after things go back to a sort of normalcy, I stop bringing it up. We go back into a routine and we don't talk about the problems and when I do something else to hurt her, everything comes flooding back, and we have to start over at square one. How do you continue to work through things, without letting things slip back into a routine where it's not discussed? I genuinely want to work through all these things, but we get busy, or tired, and sometimes it's a whole lot easier to not fight it out. It's my responsibility to bring this stuff up, she can't bring it up all the time, because I'm the one who's doing the stupid things that hurt her. She is amazing, and tries, but she's ready to end it with me if we can't get through our backlog, and make things better.
TL;DR: | I keep fighting with my wife about things that have happened in the past, and don't talk about it, and things get back to normal, but we keep fighting and getting into routine. How do we work through these problems? | Things will never be the same, and we are getting ahead of things, and need to work through them, but don't talk about them unless it's a problem that I can fix. How do we work through this without hurting the |
SUBREDDIT: r/self
TITLE: I told the girl I've had a crush on since August how I feel about her and she didn't even know.
POST: So there's this poetry slam coming up on Tuesday that I'm participating in. I wanted to use either this poem or another, but I wanted her to read it or I wanted to read it to her before anybody else saw it. So I was practicing reading it today in front of the whole class. Obviously everyone knew it was a love poem. My teacher, whom I told this poem was about the girl I've had a crush on, told her to come up to the front of the class so she could see if it was easier for me to read it to one person. Me, a social anxiety valedictorian, thought I was going to screw this up royally, but I took a deep breath, and I read it to her exactly how I wanted to read it to her. It was perfect. One of the best feelings in the world. The best part is, after I read it to her, who was like face to face with me, told me it was a sweet and beautiful poem. This is one of the best days of my life. There's nothing better than pouring your heart out to your crush and acing it, and her saying everything you said was lovely. I hope she comes and watches me perform. That would make my day. I might tell her soon that it's about her. It felt so good to tell her how I feel.
TL;DR: | I told the girl I've had a crush on since August how I feel about her and she didn't even know. Now I might tell her soon that's about her. It felt so good to tell her how I feel. | I told a girl I've had a crush on since August how I feel about her and she didn't even know. She laughed and said she read it to me like a book. I got the best emotional high of my life. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What is the point of the Occupy Wall Street?
POST: First time poster but long time lurker! As a someone with an extensive Finance background I am struggling to understand the point of the Occupy Wall Street movement. The government did "bailout" the banks however, they simply invested money into a system and received a return on investment in return. Yes, Wall Street CEOs get paid tremendous amounts of money but they also have a very high risk/high reward job. If they are successful they should be rewarded as such. If they fail they should be pushed out like many are. Shouldn't the correct focus be on Washington and their failure to prioritize correctly? We have leaders making decisions on sectors of our country that they have no experience. Having a lawyer make business decisions of the country is the equivalent of having a mechanic perform surgery. Help me understand because right now I dont feel as if those within the movement understand the whole picture.
TL;DR: | Are the wealthy and rich CEOs of Wall Street entitled to a fair share of the money they have invested in the system and able to receive a fair return for their investment? Can Washington do so little to the benefit of people in the middle | Why does the government bailout the banks, instead of investing in a system that has a higher chance of success. This would benefit the economy and society at large rather then just the CEOs of the banks. Why is this necessary? What |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Verizon CSR looking to transition into IT networking & security - best course?
POST: i am currently your neighborhood Verizon CSR. Its a average job that pays the bills. I get to deal with tech all day long so I am happy. Tech has always been my passion but now I feel I want to push it from passion to career.
I am interested in moving towards networking and security. Prior to this position I used to work part time while in college as a computer consultant for a friends company, built PCs, hooked them up to Windows networks, configured routers and the sort. Nothing enterprise wise though.
But I am wondering, even though I do not have a degree in Information Technology or Computer Science nor do I have any certifications, I wonder...
Should I at least attempt to get an Associates in Information Technology with a bunch of certifications for networking and security? And if so which ones?
TL;DR: | I am looking to move from a tech savvy IT job to networking/security. Would a degree in information technology or computer science be necessary to get certifications in networking and security? If so, which ones? | I want to go into IT networking and security. Do I go for any certifications or take a gap year before I settle down and get a BS in Computer Science/Information Technology or CISSP? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by going to the gym
POST: So like most tifu's this wasn't today, but actually yesterday. I decided I would go to the gym with my boyfriend who is pretty fit and works out quite often. I thought I was doing great. I was keeping up and I was trying to do it all just how he did it.
We decided that in addition to free weights and cardio we would try all the machines so he could teach me how to use them.
So here I am at the leg press. I am doing 110 no problem. My boyfriend decides to bump the weight up to 150. Again it's no big deal. So he says want to try and max out? I say sure. Not really knowing what it means. He puts the weight higher and higher and now I'm at 270 and can't go any higher.
We decide to move on and do the rest of the machines and by the end I am still feeling great.
Later that night I was kind of sore when sitting down or having to squat down to pick something up.
Today I woke up and I was like sweet jesus everything hurts. My legs are barely functioning. I can barely move and I have to get up and go meet my grandparents for lunch. God damnit.
TL;DR: | went to the gym with my boyfriend. Bumped the weight up to 300 and it felt great. But my legs hurt today. Also went to the gym with him today and it feels great now but my legs hurt. | went to gym and got hurt bad. Bumped weight up to how I thought it was going to be and now my legs are not working. I tried to fix but I can't. I might be blacked out and could die in |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I (M 26) need to find a way to stay away from my best friend (F 24) who am madly in love with
POST: she is amazing, great we get along so well, we hangout a lot, text a lot and all that, I love her more than I love anything in this world (as a friend) and then am also in love with her, I realized this a while back when she told me she was in love with her coworker (M 28), for a second my body stopped feeling things and I still am in a shock, she is so into him, everything I though she feels toward me she feels toward him, now don't get me wrong her I want her to have everything she wants, If love for her is to be with someone else by all means I couldn't be happier for her, BUT! I can't stand and watch, I just can't I know it is immature and I should be more grown up than this but these feelings is keeping me a prisoner, I can't even focus on other girls I just keep throwing them out of my life even though they are amazing girls, so I need to stay away from her, without telling her how I feel that is not an option, how do I kill this friendship?
TL;DR: | I am in love with my best friend but she also loves another guy she is into and wants me to stay away but I can't do that without hurting her somehow and it makes me think awful of the friendship. Help | best friend who is in love with her coworker is causing me so much pain that I can't even focus on other girls and I need to stop this to stop the pain and friendship from dying, what do I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: What can my girlfriend (F 21) and I (M 22) do when we're hanging out that isn't watch TV or have sex?
POST: We've been together for 3 years and have watched a lot of TV over that time.
Most of the time we hang out we'll watch something together or play video games. We're both really busy and stressed so it's great to be able to relax with each other. Lately though, I've been feeling like it's become all we do.
We've just finished catching up on Adventure Time and rather than starting another series right away I think it would be fun to do something else for a change, since we seem to just do our default thing and watch TV shows.
We already play video games together so ideally we could find something less digital to do. Or at least something that we could bond and talk while doing.
Thanks!
TL;DR: | My girlfriend and I can watch TV together or play video games pretty much whenever and whenever that is it we hang out. How can we bond and talk while doing that? Or maybe something else? | I think it would be awesome to do something more casual and relaxing while watching TV or playing video games instead of trying to keep up with each other all the time. What do you think would be fun to do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [26F] keep want to call my boyfriend [30M] of 7 months the wrong name [personal issue]
POST: Throwaway because he reddits.
I've been dating my AMAZING boyfriend for the last 7-ish months. Met online and he is the best thing to happen to me in a long time. He's actually my only second serious relationship.
My problem is that in my head, I keep wanting to call him by my ex's name. For example, we'll be cuddling and I'll want to say "Love you [ex]" instead of my boyfriend's name. (For context, my first boyfriend and I broke up almost 6 years ago and dated for less than a year. Also, my boyfriend's and my ex's names are not similar in the least!!)
This is really starting to bother me. I took time off dating because my ex was such a royal eff up, and I had to learn what I wanted before I could date again. There's no way in HELL I'm still pinning for him, so why do I keep wanting to say his name? Am I really making more of a deal of this than it really is?
TL;DR: | Keep wanting to call my boyfriend's name wrong because I think the way my ex calls him would have been better, and I don't know how to handle it. BF and I are great otherwise. | Keep wanting to call bf by ex's name (for example, cuddling and not wanting to say love you when I really mean it), and I don't know why and I'm so stressed by it. It's making |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [17M] getting too attached to online girl [16F]
POST: I basically met this girl online, and we hit it off straight away. We texted every day and stayed up until 4am every night. There's even been two occasions where we stayed up until 6am on a school night and I ended up missing school. There have been a few skype calls as well, and this connection we have is great but...
It's only been a month and I'm incredibly attached to someone I've never met, and it's bugging me. When I'm trying to study I'm thinking about her. I just think about her a lot, and since it's exam season there's nothing I can really do to occupy my mind other than study, which is just hard. I don't know what to do.
We've always talked about taking breaks in talking because it was getting ridiculous but it never happened - until now. We haven't really texted properly in 3 days and I guess it's because she's feeling this too and wants to distance herself maybe as I know for sure she has feelings for me too. However it sucks, so much, and I just want to talk to her, but I keep stopping myself.
We've set up to meet after exams so that we're stress free but I want to meet her sooner. It's TWO months. I've gotten incredibly close with this girl and not talking to her just makes me feel shit, but I do want something with her in the long term, so should I just stop talking to her for a while, and if she texts me, then so be it?
It's not like I don't have any friends or I don't speak to any other girls but this girl in particular I've just grown to like so much, shit. I just don't know.
TL;DR: | Met perfect girl online, hit it off straight away, said we'd meet for exams, we haven't spoken in three days, need some advice on how to stop being attached to her and just enjoy my studies more, since university exams run | Got really close with someone online and now I'm really stressed about exams and have no idea what I'm supposed to do to let her down easy. Also, I think I've completely lost the passion for the relationship, and want to give |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Does this mean I (26 M) don't have any friends, or does everyone hate me?
POST: So I lost my phone a couple of days ago, and with that happening I got a free flip phone. This sadly meant that all my contacts are gone, and I have no numbers for anybody I know. With this being the case I went to Twitter and Facebook to let all my friends know that I lost my phone and needed peoples numbers and asked for them to send them my way.
So far I've had 7 likes on my post on Facebook, but yet no numbers have been sent my way. Does this mean no one wants to be my friend? Does everyone hate me and just playing nice and pretending to be my friends?
Also, the people that liked my status aren't just acquaintances.
So reddit what could this mean?
Thanks for all the replies and people that took a second to look at this by the way!
TL;DR: | Lost my phone a couple of days ago and got a flip phone. A lot of people liked my status and wanted my numbers but none have been sent my way. Does everybody hate me and I'm alone or is this normal? | Lost phone, lost contact means everyone hates me, facebook liked my status and asked for numbers, but no one has messaged me yet. What could this mean? Why are people not messaging me? Can't I just be pretending to be |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: She [20F] told me [21M] to think about us, and the more I think about it the less inclined I am to carry on with it. Need some perspective from you guys.
POST: So I've been seeing this girl for a month now and she's wonderful in almost every way, except she hates everything about herself (note: she is not depressed, she is incredibly insecure). Now me on the other hand: I'm easygoing and rarely get angry or annoyed by people, I go out of my way to make others happier, and I don't like to think about my own emotions (this last part is important later).
Today I decided that we need to talk about her insecurity because its starting to pervade into every conversation we have, and she told me that she doesn't want to change her personality for a relationship. This is fine by me, I've known her for a month and I have no place telling her who or what to be. But she was visibly upset by this conversation and asked me what exact traits I liked about her. On the surface of it, I think she's pretty, smart, driven, and lots of great things. But that wasn't the type of answer she was looking for- "I like you because you're so unique and rare personality-wise for XYZ traits, there's lots of pretty and smart girls". So I agreed to go back home and seriously introspect on it because it wasn't something I'd ever thought about.
Now I'm sitting here thinking this.
I do like her and I still can't put words to *why* I do, but the more I think about her personality, the more I realize that she isn't ready to be in a relationship yet. If I go through with this and commit to being with her, I feel like our relationship will be more about her finding herself and me going along for the ride.
TL;DR: | Girl I'm seeing said she doesn't want to change her personality for a relationship. It's a start, but I'm really having trouble wrapping my head around why it would be okay for her to tell me what to do now that she | I'm thinking about starting a relationship with a girl who isn't ready to commit to one yet and I think my feelings on the type of girl I want to be with are more about who she is and not the qualities that will make her |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How do I [21M] support a close friend [21F] whose SO of 2 yrs just passed away recently?
POST: I love this close friend of mine. She entered into a relationship with a Guy[23M] without telling her friends about it. It just so happens that I know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy ... that knows the Guy. So I know something was going on between her and the Guy. I didn't notify anyone that I knew what was going on. The Guy gets into an automobile accident and dies. My close friend is just devastated. I was thinking of taking advantage , but then I thought I wouldn't want to become the "rebound" while she is still grieving and healing. So I would just want to support her in any way I can without letting her know that I knew of the relationship. How do I do this?
TL;DR: | ose friend of mine just passed away recently. Didn't notify anyone that I knew she was involved with the Guy. I'm thinking of offering my support, but how do I do it without letting her know I knew or that she knew? | ose friend of mine passed away recently and I was thinking of becoming the "rebound" to support her through the grief and mourning process. How do I do this? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [19 M] am having problems keeping a stable emotional level around people.
POST: Hey guys,
So I am someone who's very dependent on emotion/energy to dictate how I act around people. Sometimes I can be 'in the zone' and talk to anyone, and have a great conversation. Usually, when I am like this I am very hyper and I am dictating the flow of the conversation -- I talk fast, and I am fun to be around. Other times I am quiet, soft spoken, awkward, and kind of a grouch. What can I do to stay energetic all the time?
Sometimes, depending on what people say to me, I can get incredibly quiet when talking to people. For example, yesterday I was hanging out with three of my friends, and I was talking about buying a house. All of a sudden, my friend Jason cut me off and had a conversation with Emily. I tried to continue talking to my friend Sam, but at the end Jason said "no one was listening to you." That hurt me, and made me quiet for the rest of the time. Am I being too sensitive? What can I do to not be as sensitive?
TL;DR: | I can be incredibly talkative in the moment, and can get quiet and awkward in the past when people cut me off, so I shut down and shut down immediately, causing me to shut down myself for the rest of the conversation. It | I get extremely quiet when I talk to people and it makes me seem like a boring person when I am not, and can get really upset when people don't understand me. What do I do to not be so emotional when talking to people |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [27m] broke up with my ex [27m] of 2 years. I mulled it over for months, yet it's still killing me.
POST: I wasn't so sure I wanted to be with my ex anymore. We dated for 2 years and eventually I had to break it off. We were both at a busy time in our lives and I feel like the relationship wasn't getting the time it deserved and I had to end it. Even though I comtemplated the break up for a few months before actually pulling the plug, it still hurts me 2+ months later.
If I was the one that broke up, why is it still killing me inside? How can I over come this? I feel bad enough putting him in this position, but hell, he's probably going to be over it faster than me, at this rate.
TL;DR: | Broke up with my ex because of a busy job that delayed us a few months. It still hurts after a few months. Why is it fucking killing me inside? How can I get over it? | Broke up with my ex of 2 years, yet still feel like shit. How can I overcome this as a person and stop resenting him? And why do I feel bad even though I know it's completely natural to feel that |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My Gf (F22) and I (M23) were talking about marriage. She said that she doesn't want to lose her last name, due to a promise, and finds it a deal breaker if her future husband doesn't take hers. She is also against combining.
POST: Hi Reddit, my gf and I were talking about marriage, due to the fact that our friends are marrying. During our conversation we started to talk metaphorically if we were to get married. She mentioned that she promised her dad that she would pass on his name since he had only daughters. Her older and younger sister don't believe in marriage.
I am currently the only one of my family capable of passing on my name, I have a cousin and brother but both are still very young. I'm not a stickler for traditions (but I do love/respect them) and was initially open to the idea of possibly sharing last names (smith-jones) since I would like to keep my name (family history and all that) and understood why she wanted to keep hers.
However she said that she wouldn't want to do a compromise, because it would sound weird on her. She also mentioned that she considers it to be a deal breaker if her future husband is unwilling to take her name, adding on that she fully expects to be single forever. Which hurt a lot more.
I am at a lost, marriage is very important in my family, to the point where when I start dating, I consider if I could see myself with them long term. I love this woman and want to make this work. I don't want to end this relationship we've built. Any advice would help.
TL;DR: | Gf (22f) and i (23m) talking about marrying. She says she doesn't want to lose her last name, due to promise, and finds it a deal breaker if her future husband doesn't take her name | Gf told me she would prefer a union that didn't involve a name change. Also doesn't like the idea of a compromise, since there would be awkward silences in our conversations. Says she also considers it a deal breaker if |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: It's that time of the year, and my boyfriend [20M] basically disappears [19F]
POST: Hi reddit,
My boyfriend [20M] and I [19F] have been dating for two years. We are long distance, maybe a couple hours a part, but we skype quite often; typically we skype for 1.5-4 hours a day ( its not all talking, its more the the comfort of the presence), and let the call run through the night as we sleep which has become routine.
However, he recently asked for a bit of space, requesting that we limit our calls to one hour a day, but during that time his whole attention will be on me. I'm completely okay with that, it was a bit of a hit to the ego, but if it's what he wants, okay.
However, 'tis that time of the semester. Exams, and with that being said he doesn't text, doesn't message, doesn't call, and our communication is basically non-existent. And when he does talk to me it's because I've put in the effort in first. There's no call for one hour as he had said and I get that school is important, but I've really taken a back seat. This phase will end at the end of his exams which is in three weeks, but I'm pretty sure it'll be similar re-occurring events every time exams come around. Is this normal for most relationships? Am I in the wrong?
TL;DR: | My boyfriend rarely skypes/texts/and I'm left in the shadows while he's occupied entirely with the other person and I can't help but feel upset but am I wrong for feeling upset and is this normal for most relationships | boyfriend of two years suddenly dumps calls, texts, and all communication, regardless of whether I'm the one initiating it or not. Is this normal for relationships to end like this? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Should I [21M] stop dating [24F] because of behavior in a her previous relationship?
POST: A few weeks back during the start of the school semester I met a girl who it seems that I've clicked well with. We've been hanging out constantly, going to the gym, studying together, and have gone on several dates. Everything has been going great. However, I think there might be a red flag with her.
The other night we went out for dinner and then went to the park where we ended up talking for a couple of hours. The conversation led to her mentioning how she was in a shitty relationship with a ex boyfriend form a while back and how they would cheat on each other. My first thought was that this was a deal breaker for me since from what I can tell, people who previously cheat in relationships tend to follow that behavior in future relationships. But then she further explained that her cheating was never physical, only emotional. In my mind, cheating is cheating, but she then further explained that her relationship with this guy was right during the time that her parents were divorcing which was pretty hard on her.
She told me me how she was very depressed during that time because of her parents divorce which made me think that her emotional cheating was a way of looking for support since her boyfriend wasn't really there for her. She also explained that the relationship was a huge wake up call for her since up until the end of that relationship, she never took her relationships serious. Her mentality was backwards in that if the relationship faced a road block she would want to to break up instead of trying to over come it.
For the most part, I feel like I should continue to date her and see how things pan out. I feel like I can look past the fact that she cheated on her ex boyfriend, given the circumstances at the time. Although, I slightly feel as if her behavior in her previous relationship is a red flag. Should I be worried?
TL;DR: | A girl I was interested in recently told me about her past cheating relationship and that it was emotional. I feel like her behavior in that relationship is a red flag and should I continue dating her or just take a step back. | girl talks about cheating on a previous relationship and talks about how her ex relationship was the wake up call she needed to be in order to take responsibility for her own behaviors in a relationship. Should I be worried?? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Ex-gf [21f] wants to have sex with me [26m]
POST: She cheated on me 4 months in and felt compelled to tell me near our 6 month mark.
We fought about it for a week. Lots of lies and anger. In my head I was on a see-saw of forgiving her and moving on, or leaving her. I decided, for the time being, to leave (move out).
During the few days where our relationship was in the dumps we would talk multiple times a day and agreed to see each other on the weekends to see if what we had was salvageable.
In the meantime she ended up being consoled by some guy whom she had just met: she told him everything about what had happened, then cuddled with him in her bed, then went to his room and did the same. This was the 2nd time she had met him, the 1st was an exchange of hellos. I was told a milder version of this story at first, then the full version after some prodding, much like her cheating story. I decided to drop her and completely ignore her.
Since then shes been texting and calling at an alarming rate. At first the texts were mundane and friendly, mostly about getting closure. They slowly turned desperate and needy. The last 6 texts I got were in the early morning hours, telling me about how horny she was and that she misses the sex and how we used to be.
I admit, I have been thinking about visting her for sex. Strangely, the sex got better after all the cheating drama. Do you guys think its a good idea? Or should I continue ignoring her and move on with my life?
TL;DR: | Ex-gf of 5 years cheated on me and left me with anger, guilt and an urge to have sex with her again. Now shes desperate and needy. Do you think its a good idea? Or should I ignore her | Ex-gf cheated on me with another guy, i left, got upset, started talking again, got more desperate, finally got her to tell me everything, shes now texting and calling. what do i do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm 18, I was texting a girl, her friend took over, then called me and put me on speaker phone. What happened?
POST: So I was texting a girl (yes I like her) and a few texts later her friend starts to answer. Anyways her friend calls me and puts me on speaker and she starts messing with me along with her other friends. I asked where the girl was and they claimed she was in the bathroom, then I asked if she knew they were doing this and they just said "Yes and no."
Anyways I heard a voice in the background (sounded male) say "well they're practically dating" and I think this refers to how I spent three hours with her at a cafe after an engineering club meeting. Yeah we talked nonstop until I had to go so I hope that went well.
So what's going on? Is this good or bad?
My friend told me that she could be flirting or something, but my other friend told me that this usually means she doesn't care if she's letting her friends handle it and if its the latter, then it feels like I just got kicked in the chest.
Will provide more details if needed.
TL;DR: | A female friend of mine texted me while my other friend was answering and said she was in the bathroom texting the girl from engineering club. Then one of her friends took over and called me and put me on speaker. what happened? | I was texting a girl, her friend starts answering, then she calls me on speaker on my phone and is texting me and pretending to be me. What happened? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [26F] with my best friend [26 M] ten years, We've always liked each other and now we are both in a situation to be together, but he's hesitant.
POST: So yeah, he's been my friend for so long and I've always had a thing for him and he's always had a thing for me. We had a brief falling out five years ago and shortly after that he started dating someone else, and then I started dating someone too.
We became friends again and it was nice.
So in the summer he split up with his girlfriend and it was really hard on him. And recently I split up with my boyfriend. Since then my feelings for him have increased exponentially. We talk all the time and I really want to be with him. He is worried that I'm just getting over my relationship and that my feelings for him will wane. I don't believe so, since I've always liked him. Also, because of his difficult breakup he is having a hard time trusting women, which I totally understand.
He is really careful and wants everything to be perfect, but I feel like there's no time like the present and there is never going to be a perfect time to be together and we never know if we will work out unless we try. Everything is a risk, right?
I feel like my breakup has given me perspective on love and relationships and my whole heart is in this. I have the excitement of new possibilities but also the consistent love I've had for him all along. I'm ready to start this chapter but he is hesitant and I want to respect that.
TL;DR: | My best friend and I have been friends since we were 15 and we both like each other but he's afraid that we'll end up being just friends if we try to be together due to our recent relationship and possible relationship woes. | My best friend and I have been friends for ten years and recently we broke up, and he is hesitant and I don't know what to do. And I want to respect his fear but also love him more. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by scaring my landlord
POST: So I grew up on a farm and am now living in an unbelievably urban area. By nature, I expect courtesy and respect from my neighbors, and seldomly do I receive it. I may or may not have become slightly alcoholic since moving to the city, so that factors into the current predicament. I have been a little toasted on rum for the past couple days, and /r/funny and netflix have been the main source of entertainment for my weekend, so I've been unobnoxiously keeping to myself. So living in what I feel is fair to call "the hood," I am aware of "hood-like" shenanigans since apartment is in the middle of the main hallway, and I am subjected to quarrels of all imaginable varieties.
As I said, I haven't really been in my right mind the last couple days. I've been sitting here listening to music and browsing reddit like a noob, and I hear a bunch of "commotion" outside. I pay no attention and continue swigging/redditing, because that's what people do. The commotion continues for what seems like an hour. I finally decide I've had enough, and I get off my bed to make a 6 foot trip to the door when my inebriated feet forget how to operate, and I bash my face into the peephole long enough to get a glimpse of the landlord right outside.
TL;DR: | I live in a bad area, and I get overly-enthusiastic drunk, and I knock through the peephole of my landlord, resulting in a commotion from outside, and making me freeze and look like a creep. | Grew up on farm, live in city, rarely receive courtesy and respect, now live in in the hood in the middle of main hallway by nature, decided to get drunk, knock over peephole and reveal landlord outside as a |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: Am I being a bad friend?
POST: Hey reddit. For a couple of years now I've been part of this little group of friends. There's me, some guys, and some girls. We used to hang out all the time, see some movies, go bowling, shoot the shit. We were good friends, really close. So one of the guys, let's call him Chris, started dating one of the girls, let's call her Mary.
So Chris and Mary date for a bit, seem crazy about each other, and then break up. Chris loses his shit and doesn't even want to see Mary ever again. Two years later, he maintains this position.
My problem, is that I really enjoy the company of Mary. She's fun, she gets me, and I've confided in her quite a bit. Here recently, Mary and I have reconnected a bit. So I've been hanging out with Mary kind of behind Chris' back.
So after all that, my question is, is this wrong? I'm not planning anything sinister here, Mary is just a really chill girl who knows more about me than really anyone else.
TL;DR: | One of my friends and I hang out while he's dating another girl. I like her, but after everything has happened, do I tell my friend that I liked her more than just a friend? | Guy dating girl, guy goes NC, guy falls for girl. Guy meets girl again, guy keeps in touch with girl, guy falls for her again and wants to date her. I'm not sure if I should be worried, or am |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: Mother's employer giving her a hard time to take vacation days (FL) advice?
POST: I posted this in r/legal but I thought I might get a better response here.
My mother works at a small family owned pharmacy in Florida as a pharmacy technician . Whenever she requests to use her vacation days it is always a huge ordeal.
Recently, my mom requested vacation days so she could be with my cousin who is coming from out of the country. The manager called her into the office and asked her to work weekends to make up for the days she is requesting. That is unacceptable, these are her paid vacation days that she hasn't used for the year. She declined and the manager insisted that she work at least half days on the days she is requesting.
Throughout the year, every time my mother has requested to use her days she has been denied or the days have been rearranged in a way that is convenient for the manager and inconvenient for my mom because she is given no choice.
Last year, it came to the point where they didn't allow her to take any days off and gave her a check for the remaining paid days off instead.
Essentially they are not allowing her to take her time off and paying her for it instead without giving her a choice. I don't think this is ethical.
I would like to know if there is anything that can be done or if this is even legal.
There is no HR department in this company, all of the issues are handled by either the manager or the vice president (who are related).
TL;DR: | y mother requested to use her vacation days and the manager told her to work half days to make up for the days she is not using. Is this illegal and can it be enforced? What can be done if needed? | y mother is requesting vacation days to be with her cousin who is coming from out of the country and being denied because the manager refuses to give her the days off without using her supervisor's input (which is not her decision). What can be |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: How do I keep my dog from running away?
POST: Fellow Bacon-lovers, I need your help.
I rescued a dog from a local shelter about 5 or 6 months ago, here he is making his [derp face] His papers listed him as part Golden Retriever, part Australian Shepherd and he's now about 10 months old. He settled in as a member of the family, my wife and three kids love him to death.
Unfortunately he has a nasty habit of darting out of the door or gate if given the opportunity, even pushing past me or the kids a few times. And when he gets out, he's gone. He's disappeared for a couple days at a time, though I think that was mostly because the people who found him wanted to keep him. He doesn't appear to go very far when he gets out, but we live in a pretty dense suburban area and we've never been able to find him before it gets too dark to continue looking.
He seems to have a pretty high prey instinct; he tries to chase rabbits and birds when we go on walks. He's also highly energetic, we walk him at least once a day, sometimes more, as well as trips to the dog park as often as we can. I've even purchased a Walky Dog bike leash for him that I've used a few times. I'm not sure that we can commit to any more activities with him with our busy schedule.
So, has anyone else experienced this, or have any suggestions for how to keep him from running out every chance he gets? I'm worried one of these times he'll get into a major road and get hit by a car.
We're currently considering:
* Obedience classes (expensive and I'm not convinced will solve the issue)
* Invisible dog fence (expensive)
* Shock Collar (eeesh)
* Giving him away (awwwww)
As a rule I'm against causing any harm to him, but when it's a choice between him getting hit by a car, or some Pavlovian love, I may have to break that rule.
TL;DR: | My dog keeps running away from any chance he gets of running across a road or into a busy road and hurting himself, anyone have any insight into what can be done to keep him from doing so? | Dog ran away when given a chance. We're currently looking for any other ideas for how to keep him from running away. Thanks in advance! |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: GF [18F] of 2 years is pissed at me [20 M] for asking my house mate [20 M] something related to his new fwb
POST: Just going to get straight to the point. My girlfriend and I were talking to a room-mate who recently got into a Fwb relationship. I asked whether they have sexted and whether they have sent nudes to each other (fwb). Now my girlfriend is in a strop and I'm not sure if I'm in the wrong or not. I had no intentions to hurt her feelings nor did I have intentions to see the nudes myself. I just considered it small talk. Am I wrong?
TL;DR: | My girlfriend is pissed that my room-mate is sexting and sending nudes, which I know I shouldn't have asked since it's small talk. Am I in the wrong or justified in thinking this is messed up? | Room-mate who has gotten into a Fwb relationship recently sends nudes to my girlfriend via skype. GF is not happy. Am I in the wrong and how should I resolve the situation? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by telling my boyfriend I cheated on him.
POST: This happened a few months ago but another post here triggered my memory so I thought I would share.
My boyfriend is in the army and he's gone all but 4 weeks out of the year. This type of situation is entirely new to me and I was pretty surprised when I first found myself wanting to be in a LDR. Anyway...
He was doing army stuff "in the field" (I still have no idea what that means) and was having to stay up for all hours of the night. At this point, he had been out there about a week and was sleeping anywhere from 1-4 hours a day in small intervals.
We texted when he had time and conversation helped keep him awake when things got boring. The fuck up happened around 5 in the morning after he'd been fighting sleep for at least 4 hours. He started texting me that he almost fell asleep and something about how he'd like it if I helped keep him up.
Me, not thinking because it was 4 am where I live, had the brilliant idea of texting him, "Lol. I almost thought about texting you that I cheated on you or something." At the time, I thought that would shock him awake and we'd have a good laugh. However, he didn't see my clearly misplaced humor and I got the lecture of a lifetime.
"Why would you say that?!?! I thought I'd get a funny picture or we could sext!" was his completely understandable response. I then spent a solid 2 hours telling him I was joking around and would rather beat myself with a sack full of feisty weasels than cheat on him. He told a few of his friends once they woke up and they mostly (and rightfully) think I'm loonier than the Animaniacs for texting that. I did manage to keep him awake, though.
TL;DR: | I told my boyfriend I cheated on him. He freaked out and thinks I'm loonier for texting I said I was joking and would rather beat myself with a sack of feisty weasels than cheat on him | Got drunk, thought I'd tell my boyfriend I cheated on him while he was asleep, he didn't see it and I got in the way of a good laugh. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, I need some opinions on a big life changer for me.
POST: I have a best friend in Edmonton, AB. I plan on visiting him this may long weekend, I also have a extremely pretty and talented female friend from my hometown here in Winnipeg, MB out in Nanaimo, BC. We got talking today and she wants to see me badly enough to come out to Edmonton this weekend while I'm out there. Me and her have talked many times before about me moving out to her and staying with her and starting a new chapter in my life, much like she did. Well we got talking and I let it slip that I would consider canceling my return flight home and just continuing the journey back with her! Which is something I'm totally down to do...I have a few set backs, barely no cash in the bank, all my stuff here in Winnipeg, MB and I've never done something like this before!! I like this girl and I can tell she likes me (clearly) so, What do you guys think??? last second ditch of my current life to pursue this with her out in beautiful BC after visiting my BFF in Edmonton???
Its seriously a big crazy idea that I kinda want to do, but do you guys see this going over well????
please and thanks for the responses.
TL;DR: | I have a friend in Edmonton/Vancouver, we got talking about me moving out and staying with her and starting a new chapter in my life. I want to do this with her but have some big life changes that I need opinions on | I have a female friend who wants me to come out to Edmonton and meet her there for a weekend, I have a month of money here in Winnipeg and need opinions. Also I have a few set back's I dont have enough info to |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Best friend (25 M) had unrequited feelings for me (25 F) for a year. He moved on and now I have feelings for him.
POST: My best friend had feelings for me for over a year, which I was unaware of at the time because he never made a move. Well, I suspected a couple of times that he might have a small crush on me, but tried to avoid it due to a past relationship with a best friend ending poorly.
Once I entered into a long term relationship with someone else, he stopped talking to me. I partially blame myself for losing contact because I was busy with a new relationship, school, and work. Also, a while later a couple of friends told me that he had feelings for me during that period and thought I knew. I didn't have much dating experience at the time and am a very friendly person (often confused for flirting) so I had a hard time recognizing subtle hints.
I ended my first long term relationship due to my SO not having certain qualities that I now realize are important to me. I am now realizing that my friend has all of those qualities, however he is in a relationship with someone else. I initially thought he was in a happy relationship and tried to keep my distance because I wanted him to be happy. However, I work with him and he occasionally describes how unhealthy his relationship is and has tried to break up with her a couple of times. We are not nearly as close as we used to be and I really miss our friendship, but can't tell if he isn't hanging out with me anymore because his GF is jealous of his female friends or if he just doesn't care to be my friend anymore.
He has asked me for advice on his relationship, which I try to avoid commenting on because I know my opinion is biased and wouldn't want to influence his relationship.
I don't know if I should keep waiting around, if I should somehow distance myself more from him, or tell him I have feelings for him (which seems like a bad idea).
TL;DR: | Best friend had unrequited feelings for me for a year then stopped talking to me and is in a relationship with someone else. Should I keep waiting around to see if I miss him or should I distance myself from him?* | My best friend has recently had feelings for me and moved on. I am having feelings for him. I can't tell if he is just using me as a rebound or if he actually has feelings for me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I[18M] heard something extremely unsettling about SO of one month[19F]
POST: I've been seeing this girl from work (restaurant, if it matters. Refer to her as C) for around two'ish months now, dating for around one. We don't tell most people from work that we're dating just to avoid problems, as some other people we work with have had issues recently and its been a real shitstorm. The people we hang out with outside of work know, as well as four or so more people.
Its been great so far, we hang out a lot, get along, etc etc, but before we started dating, and soon after we started, one of her good friends(also works with us, so we're cool as well) mentioned that he didn't like how much she was talking to her ex. I don't know the guy, but evidently hes a real shit bag, her parents hated him, all of her friends hated him, you get the gist of it. At first, I just shrugged it off, even though it bothered me; I'm not going to tell her who she can or can't talk to, as we aren't too serious and at the moment I didn't really know where the relationship was going.
Another coworker, N, who I trust, told me that C had been talking with one of her friends about her ex, and that friend had come to her. The friend asked if she was still talking to the ex, to which she replied, "Well, I shouldn't..," the friend asked if she would be getting back together with him when he gets back in town, with the same answer. This bothers me, like a lot. Took a little while to realize how not okay I actually am with this, and just basically need some advice or insight. I'm definitely going to say something about it, and I already thought about just breaking it off.
I know this sounds like some high school he said she said shit, but the story flows a little bit better if you know the people.
TL;DR: | In a good relationship with girl I'm seeing, heard about her ex talking about her and trying to get back together with him, don't know much about him or her, but its bothering me and I need insight/advice. | I heard something about my SO that is driving me nuts, and I need some insight or insight from redditors who've been in my position before to what I should do. And please don't throw in that "trust me and be cool |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [18 M] letter to my ex [17 G] to get her back?
POST: throwaway cus friends know my reddit,
So basically me and my girlfriend of 7 months broke up a few weeks ago in a pretty messy breakup but now I want her back, I've expressed this to her and she says that for now she just wants to be friends but that her feelings towards me may change in the future. I believe there is a chance of us getting back together but whether that's just wishful thinking or not I don't know.
So we've been chatting recently and its its sorta friendly but also just how we used to talk when we were going out, really playful and jokey and I was just wondering what i could do to increase the chances of us getting back together, I might stop contact between us for a bit to see what happens but apart from that I'm not sure what to do.
I'm considering writing a letter to her in a couple more weeks basically saying that I'm sorry for what I did (i was a dick to her towards the end of the relationship, I didn't mean to it was a mistake but hey-ho) and that i hope she can give me a second chance. I can't decide whether this would be really creepy instead of romantic and whether it would just push her further away.
So yeah just sorta looking for general advice on what I can do to get her back and whether I should send the letter or not
TL;DR: | I want to get back with my ex but the odds aren't good that we will but I'm wondering whether I should write a letter to her to get her back or not. And whether this would be too creepy as a romantic gesture. | ex broke up with me, expressed feelings towards me, want her back as a romantic gesture but don't know what to do to hopefully get her back |
SUBREDDIT: r/loseit
TITLE: Question about properly logging calories burned/exercise
POST: So, stay with me here. I put my HR monitor on and measured the amount of calories I burned while just sitting in front of the TV and it said I burned around 80 - 100 cal in an hour. I then used my HR monitor for a half hour jog and multiplied it by 2 giving me a total of around 300 cal/hr. If MFP already takes into account my resting calories burned to give me my daily goal, does that mean I should be subtracting my resting rate from my calories burned during a workout? Sorry, this is harder for me to explain in writing, but essentially, if my HR monitor says I burned 300 calories in an hour, shouldn't I subtract the 100 I would have burned doing nothing (as MFP has already counted those calories burned) and only log the additional 200 calories burned?
TL;DR: | is there a way to subtract the amount of calories burned during exercise from what MFP already counts as hours worked? Or, is it okay to do so in MFP? | When should I subtract my resting calories burned from the calories burned in a workout/during a run to get my daily caloric intake? For example, if HR monitor says I burned about 300 cal/hr, shouldn't I subtract 100 |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [20/M] need advice with girlfriend [19/f] of 3 years
POST: Recently I have been questioning what I should do in my relationship. We both love each other and I know she would be an amazing woman to be with for the rest of my life. But i don't know what to do about some issues that I have.
One of those issues is that I don't get to see her as often as I'd like to. We only see each other once a week for around 5-6 hours and this is the way it's practically been throughout our relationship. It has made it feel almost boring in a sense. And when we do see each other its always the same things we do every time.
Another issue I have is that we have never have had sex. We are both virgins and the urge to experience it just keeps growing for me. But I know that she is completely fine without it. We have touched each other as well as oral but even then I don't feel like these occur as often as I'd like. We don't talk about anything sex related because it feels awkward for her. And even bringing up the idea will just be instantly shot down.
I really do love her to death but I am unsure of what to do. Any help?
TL;DR: | Been in a long relationship with great girlfriend but I don't get to see her as often as I'd like. Want to experience things sexually but don't know what to do. | Have been in a relationship for 3 years. No longer able to spend time with girlfriend as often as I'd like. Don't know what I should do regarding sex and intimacy. Any advice would be helpful. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [19 M] I never learned any basics of romantic interaction growing up and now I'm trying to learn from the ground up. So far I've not been successful.
POST: Basically I was always awkward as a kid but later in life I came out of my shell and now I am able to function normally im society. However, where most guys had their first "girlfriends" and stuff in middle school, I have never dated on any level ever. As such, I have absolutely zero experience with anything remotely romantic and I have no idea how to pick up on hints, make a move, or even give/ask for phone numbers. It's all very foreign to me and I will talk to a girl and think she's pretty cool and that I'd love to talk to her more, but then that's it. I don't think to like ask her for her number or anything until I am thinking about it later and I realize how dumb I am.
Is there any way to get better at this stuff? I know part of it is confidence, but a lot of it is also how I don't even consider romance until afterwards when I am feeling bad about myself for how lonely I am. I have had women flirt with me and me not realize it until afterwards many times and I am getting sick of just being so clueless.
TL;DR: | Never learned much or any romantic skills besides being pretty awkward a kid and don't think it's changed much in the past 20 years. How do I improve my ability to pick up on hints, make a move, or even give/ask | I never learned how to romance and it's killing my self confidence. How can I pick up the ball and run with this stuff when it seems like almost every guy has a girlfriend and even though I have no experience, I want to get |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [25 M] seeing a girl [28 F] on and off since last year - she requires me to do all the travelling
POST: I met a girl on OKC 6-7 months ago, and I've seen her maybe a grand total of 5-6 times. We live about 2.5 hours bus away from each other. The problem is, neither of us drives, and she has only come to see me in my city once. She claims that money has been an issue, but I've offered to pay for her ticket/expenses while hanging out with me. She has expressed that me paying for her clashes with her personal views.
The problem is that my job has a shitty schedule so having 2.5 hrs of travel time each way makes things difficult, when I may only have 1-1.5 days off a week. I've always had the philosophy that someone who likes me will try and make the time for me. And she is currently unemployed, so time is not a factor for her. She seems to be into me otherwise. I've laid out the situation logically for her, but she's mostly just in a mental block regarding the issue of me paying for her. It makes me think that she's just super lazy to travel. Thoughts?
TL;DR: | Meet girl on OKC, she claims that money has been an issue but offers me to pay for her travel expenses, I'm fairly successful so time isn't an issue for her. She seems to be into me otherwise. | Girl I've been seeing recently needs me to pay for her travel, she is currently unemployed and I'm struggling with the issue of money. Thoughts? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Being bullied-What should I do without talking to a teacher?
POST: So a few guys from my Intro to CAD class are being assholes and I don't want to let them push me around anymore. I'm really thinking of not holding myself back and punching a few of them next time they piss me off. I don't want to talk to a teacher because that wouldn't really help.
They do little things like call me a freak, goth, emo, etc. (only because I like metal and just recently dyed my hair black after my previous hair color faded to start over...anyway) and tell me to shut up even if I'm just chatting with a friend.
I never did anything to them before either.
So, do any of you have advice on how to get them to leave me alone, whether it be causing a lot of damage physically (without injuring them too badly permanently) or telling them to f*** off in a more convincing way?
Also, I'm a girl (freshman) and most of them are sophomores (most in sports, so they're big, too).
TL;DR: | Some guys in my class are being disrespectful and are going to get me into a lot of trouble (I'm a senior) if I don't keep my mouth shut about it. What can I do to get them to stop? | Some guys from my Intro to CAD class are being mean and trying to bully me. What should I do? How can I get them to leave me alone? And what would you do if you were in my shoes? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU a relationship by being absurdly busy
POST: Alright, longtime lurker and first time poster so a little back story. I'm an insanely busy junior in high school and I'm in several extracurriculars, namely quiz bowl, robotics, and track. Back in early December I met this girl, we'll call her X, while at a quiz bowl tournament. We hit it off almost instantly, traded phone numbers in the biggest coincidence ever (to me at least), and then shortly thereafter we were unofficially dating. Skip forward to late January, we're pretty interested in each other. I finally get the balls to officially ask her out after forgetting several times before on the 8th of this monthmonth. My forgetfulness was attributed to me having such a great time with her that I forgot everything else. (I should mention we only see each other on weekends since she lives half an hour away and 2 hours away on holiday weekends, divorced parents)
Alright so the other thing is I'm I'm robotics and we're currently at our peak of build season so I'm at school until 8 every night building the robot. Recently, since we're ahead of schedule, I've been coming home early. Track season's also getting into swing and as a result I'm busy every day of the week as well as several Saturdays. When I'm not doing any of these things I'm worrying about my college physics, trig, or assorted other assignments.
This has gotten to the point I never get to talk to her anymore and she's disappointed with me more often than anything. Now I'm concerned that this is the end.
TL;DR: | I'm extremely busy studying and also playing track and physics, and am worried that things with this girl aren't going to work out. She's disappointed and doesn't talk to me anymore. I'm really worried. | I'm in a crazy busy schedule and the only time I get to talk to her is via text and I'm worried that this is the end of the relationship. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My Mom[55 F] and my sister [17F] are always fighting and I don't like to be around the two when home.
POST: Ever since my sister got her license, the two have had a deteriorating relationship. Sis likes to party, smoke weed and maybe sleeps around but I don't know for sure about that. She has lied about going to a friend's house or the mall, but actually went somewhere else.
My sister held a party in the house while my mom was in Boston to run the marathon and I was in college. My mom has taken her car away before, but she's taken the keys back or just gone to dad's house (amicably divorced in 2010 I think).
Sis graduated high school and has almost no responsibility except work. She fights with mom a lot over missing curfew, staying out too late, drugs, sneaking out, etc. They recently got into a shouting match because a box of college stuff was missing and she accused mom f moving it while mom screamed that she should look after her stuff.
I'm tired of living in a house where every time sis comes home from work the two end up screaming. I'm tired of the incessant bickering. I feel like my mom isn't really handling the situation very well by trying to keep sister on a short chain, but sister is somewhat out of control. What can I do about this situation?
TL;DR: | My mom and sister fight constantly and it's affecting the relationship between my sister and sis. What can I do to help? I don't want to be around the two. I feel like sisters hate each other. | Sister always hates my mom and is always fighting when home, my mom doesn't handle the situation well by not helping. What else can I do? I'm tired of living in a house where every time sis comes home from work |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: (24/f) Handling a break up with an emotional manipulator (23/m)
POST: 5 months ago, my boyfriend of two years and I broke up. We were together for two years, on and off. That was his doing. We would have a really good week, one where he was busy, one where he would ignore me, one where he would break up with me, and then the next we were back together. For two years. I'm not really sure what happened but 5 months ago I said that I was done and he agreed. We haven't talked to each other since.
Overall, I'm over him. I don't feel heartbroken. I don't feel sad. I don't cringe thinking about him with another woman. I don't care. I just still feel like "he's around the corner" even though he hasn't tried once to contact me. I guess I feel like he let go of our relationship so easily when he normally springs back and comes up with some excuse on why we should get back together. He emotionally manipulated and gaslighted me our entire relationship. He was extremely selfish and I took him back every time. I guess I still feel out of sorts because I'm waiting for the cycle to start again. It hasn't.
Does anyone have any suggestions on how to feel like it really is done with? 5 months is the longest we haven't communicated. I know we are broken up for good. I just don't know how to shake the feeling that one day out of the blue it's just going to start up again. I know I can block and be on my merry way, but I'm referring to more of him *wanting it*. Like suddenly he's going to want me again.
Any advice is appreciated.
TL;DR: | 5 months into 2 year relationship. He emotionally manipulated me and I took him back. 5 months later I'm out of touch with him. Has anyone experienced this before and what did you do? How did you shake the feeling? What is | We broke up 5 months ago. It's been 5 months since I've heard anything from him. I still feel like he's around the corner. I don't know how to shake the feeling of one day it'll start up again. |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: Boyfriend and housemates had argument, now its ruining mine and his time together, how do I solve this?
POST: Basically my boyfriend has put his foot in it a bit, said the wrong thing at the wrong time and insulted my housemates in the process (unintentionally but still.)
So last night it all blew up a bit they were asking why he said certain things and that they felt it was disrespectful as they are letting him stay here and expecting no payment towards bills etc... He apologized, bought some wine and chocolate as a peace offering and they said it was ok but they are still a bit offended by it all as they felt he was insulting their intelligence etc..
I have said there is nothing more that can be done and to try and forget it now and go on as normal and let it blow over in its own time but him being a worrier (like myself so I do get it) is continuing to worry and letting it affect his day. I hardly see him due to it being a long distance relationship so I want to make the most of the time we have together, but he is stubborn and saying he doesn't want to do anything today and that he just wants to mope etc.. however that is making it a bit awkward for me as I have already said it will sort itself out as have my housemates, but it will take a little time to be back to normal.
Basically how do I say he needs to forget it and try and enjoy our time together and actually go out and do shit and have a good day and not let this ruin the little time we have in a way that may actually work?
TL;DR: | My boyfriend and a group of housemates had argument yesterday and said some hurtful things to each other and now its affecting our relationship and mine as well and I need to sort out the issue before its affecting it further, but he won't | Boyfriend and housemates argument, him saying certain things and being a worrier is causing havoc on our relationship and potentially ruining our time together, how do I help resolve this and make our time together better? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [25M] have a female friend. My [25F] wife does not like, but I refuse to stop. Am I so wrong?
POST: My wife and I have been married 5 years. We're both 25, and we both are starting to feel like different people. In a good way! But still.
Recently we've had a bit of a rough patch, for the first time. I told her if things didn't improve we should probably get a divorce, since we owed it to ourselves to be happy. We both agreed we wouldn't give up, and try 110% to improve our relationship. So far things have gotten seriously better. BUT.
We're moving to another state, where an old mutual friend lives. We both added her on facebook and we both talk to her.
Turns out, she has changed a lot. Seriously, if she was a dude we would instantly be best friends for life. We've chatted here and there about moving, our lives and stuff, and we've been constantly having these "what? you too?" moments where we realize we're both into the same really obscure stuff (music, ideas about life etc). Areas where my wife and I are total opposites. I never get to talk about this kind of stuff with my wife, and I really, really enjoy it.
My wife noticed how much we talk, I'm not hiding anything we talk publicly on facebook and she has all my passwords. She said it bothered her that we talk so much, and wants me to cut off contact. I basically told her no, because we don't talk about anything inappropriate and I refuse to be controlled like that. I seriously have like no friends and this is important to me. She was upset and we're not talking right now.
Do I find her attractive? Nope. We're honestly just friends.
The way I see it, we either agree on this or we'll divorce, and that is just how it will have to be. I'm hoping she comes to terms with her feelings about the matter, and lets go of her jealousy.
Am I really wrong? Am I failing to see things from her perspective in a way that would change my attitude?
TL;DR: | My wife and I have a female friend whose changed drastically since we've been married. I refuse to cut off contact with her. I feel like we should because her changes are relevant to my marriage and life. Does that make me a horrible | Been married 5 years, moved to another state, wife doesn't like my female friend. I refuse to cut off communication with her but am I missing some signs she may be judging me unfairly? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [18F] with my girlfriend [17F] I brought up an open relationship, but having second thoughts.
POST: I've been with my girl for a couple of months (we've been on and off for a pretty long time now) and we're both going off to college soon. She's going to school in Ohio, and I'm staying in Jersey. We've already both decided we want to continue this relationship in college as a long distance thing, so there's no doubt about that.
I've been browsing around Reddit and saw a lot of people trying open relationships, but I didn't know if I wanted to try one myself. So I talked to her about it, and she said she'd be open to the idea and it's something we should at least try. Before we talked, I told her this was entirely hypothetical and I'm not okay with doing it, but if we were to do it, we made a set of rules and all.
I've thought about it a lot. I love this girl, and seeing her with another guy would completely crush me. I'm the only person she's actually had a serious physical or emotional relationship with, and I don't like the idea of her doing any physical stuff with other dudes.
What should I do about this? Am I being overprotective?
TL;DR: | Girlfriend and I talking about an open relationship, I say no cause I don't like the idea of her doing that while i'm there, yet she's open to the idea and thinks we should atleast try. I'm feeling really | My girlfriend said she'd be open to having a relationship open to the public, but I'm not okay with the idea of her doing something like that. I'm not okay with her having sex with other guys. What should I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: How to help GF's parents make friends so she'll feel comfortable moving out?
POST: My (26F) gf and I (25M) have been dating for close to 6 years. The first two while we were in uni, 2 years of us basically trying to figure out life (job hunting, switching etc), and 2 years of having a lot more things figured out on the path to settlement.
For me, 2 of those years was living near campus, 2 years at home with the parents, and then 2 years away from home (1 year about an hour away from the GF, 1 year and currently a 5 hour drive from GF).
For her, she has always lived with her parents.The university was close enough that she didn't need to move out. Now, that isn't to say she isn't independent. She takes care of all the finances, shopping, housekeeping etc at home, but her parents are in good physical health to do this on their own.
So here's where the problem is. I am living quite a bit ways away, but willing to move closer back (sort of giving up a job I love, though might get laid off soon) if her and i moved in together. She'll often mention how she wants to do it and talk about what it would be like. But when I get serious about it, she always brings up how her parents would be lonely and depressed if she wasn't there. Fair enough (I argued we'd move at least an hour away from them so that the distance wouldn't be insane, but no bite)
So now, I'm wondering, with parents that are ~45-55ish age range, and Indian in a community that is predominately Canadian, how can I go about helping her parents make friends?
TL;DR: | Girlfriend wants to live with parents, but doesn't think that would be a good idea due to distance and Indian parent population. Do I go about helping them make friends somehow? How? | GF's parents live away from campus, would like to move back in order to get closer to GF, but don't want to do it by herself because she's old enough to know how lonely her parents would be. How do I help |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by laughing at starving African children.
POST: So this FU literally happened a couple of minutes ago.
I was sitting in class browsing TIFU when i came across the post about the guy who thought it would be a good idea to chug a bottle of hot sauce during an interview. After reading it me and my friend couldn't stop laughing, and as soon as we stopped laughing one of us would giggle a little bit a we would just start laughing hysterically to the point where we had tears in our eyes. Since we were suppose to read that lesson and everyone else was completely quiet we decided to try to force ourselves to stop. This is where the FU occured. In order to stop laughing we googled "starving african children" to make us sad instead. It didn't work and we just kept laughing. That's when our teacher came up behind us to see what we were giggling at... To him it looked like we were laughing at the children. He gave us a look of pure disgust and walked away before we could explain ourselves. Needless to say I wont be browsing reddit during class again any time soon...
TL;DR: | Thought it will be a good idea to chug hot sauce during an interview, googled starving african children and made us sad instead. Still giggling when teacher saw. | Laughed at starving african children during an interview, teacher saw and gave us a look of disgust, won't be reading TIFU anymore... |
SUBREDDIT: r/jobs
TITLE: Does it matter if i have a planned vacation in the near future when applying for a job?
POST: LE BACKGROUND:
I started at a very well established clothing store when I was 18. It started as part time for the first year because I was also going to university. After I finished my program I began full time hours at my work, got promoted to shift leader 6 months later, shortly after that I was promoted again with discussion of me eventually moving into a Store Manager role when we build new stores.
THE PRESENT:
I am 21 years old, currently assistant manager. I have been considering leaving for almost a year for many reasons and Im under a lot of pressure right now to stay. The company is expanding and we are opening two new stores in the area in May, and it is expected of me to either move up in my position or transfer/ help take on and set up the new two stores.
Now, my job isnt terrible.. all the time. Its actially pretty chill and my coworkers/staff are amazing. But for the position that I have and the amount of work, god-awful scheduling and just plain old stress I have to endure, I am not getting paid nearly what I should be. (Big company, they dont like to pay anything if they can avoid.)
In addition, I have just discovered my favorite store is hiring and the job is closer/pays more.
THE DILEMMA:
I have planned a 10 day long vacation for April for my SO's bday. Also I have discovered a job opening perfect for me thats closer and pays more.
So, if I leave my job now I am assuming the new job wont be happy about my upcoming vacation being so soon.
On the other hand, i don't want to pass up this opportunity and have to stay at my current job/settle for something else later on.
TL;DR: | Been working a well established job for a while, started considering leaving for a new one soon. Also, want to take a week vacation planned for my SO's bday to further my job search. | I am a relatively new employee at a well established company and its a very well paid, but very low stress position with no vacation time. If I leave I will be stuck at my current job for at least a year and its my SO |