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One experience I'd like to share is that of traveling as a lone person. On one trip to Spain, I lived there for several months without knowing anyone, but I had contacts, so I wasn't alone. And one morning, on my way someplace, it was a Sunday morning, and as I was walking down the street, I learned something about the Spanish culture in the area that I was in. That staying out late, and perhaps I mean by late, I mean to dawn beyond the madrugada, was a common experience that people didn't feel badly about, especially when they had overexcesses in drinking and were sleeping on the street. So, I was walking down this street on a sidewalk in Avocado and I started seeing lots of people sleeping, relying on the sidewalk. And it's a little disconcerting because the environment that I hailed from, that wasn't a common experience. I didn't live in a city while living in Boston. Boston kind of goes quiet after midnight, 01:00 in the morning. South Florida, where I came from, there wasn't really no city place that you went. Maybe Miami, but nobody really went to Miami. You stayed in the fun areas where you were near. It wasn't a city like Boston. Let's put it that way. And as I'm walking down the street, I see these people in various states of deep sleep or slowly waking. Get a little bit disconcerted. I didn't see any women. It was all men. And I started to get a little bit nervous, but I was by myself. So I had to figure out how to do this. And so I chose to walk down the middle of the street. It was interesting to me to see how I adapted when I put distance between me and that which was uncomfortable or discomforting. Putting that distance between me and the sidewalk by walking down the middle of the street. Yes, I had some fear that perhaps somebody would wake from their slumber and I don't know, verbally. I really didn't think so much physically, but just verbally. I'm not a confrontational person. So I have often thought about that when you put distance between yourself and that which makes you uncomfortable. Kind of avoidance. But yeah, there's my story.

I was in South Florida, and I was trying to figure out, do I take the path that a lot of my fellow Colombian immigrants at the time took? Maybe stay home with parents, go to community college, and kind of hang around the Colombian-American community. Or I had the choice to explore and see something totally different. So I got into college, and I didn't know really what I wanted to do. The journey became, what thing can I put my heart and soul into for the next 30 years? I went scuba diving in Australia. Talking to the captain of the ship, he said, "I was in a landlocked country in Eastern Europe, and I saw the ocean for the first time, and I was completely sold." The ocean was that thing that called him that he loved to do and knew that he wanted to do for the rest of my life. And I was like, I need to find that, I need to find my ocean. For me, business started becoming that. Looking backwards, I had started eight businesses before I got to college. So at Emplify, our goal, our vision is to help improve the lives of 1 million people through more meaningful work. Our data will show them how this team is sick in terms of engagement and really their heart and mind not being into their work. And then, we show them something, they do something about it, leadership changes something, and then the work lives of employees are better.

So I\'d like to tell a story about how I really got interested in robotics. There was this moment when I was in a Lego Robotics competition where I first realized that all robotics has the ability to help people. And even if the project that I came up with was super dumb back then, and it was absolutely not realistic at all, the fact that I realized that it could help is kind of what kept me going. So then in high school, I continued to do robotics. I continued to do outreach for robotics, to get people to get the same kind of insight on, like, "Oh, I could actually do stuff with this." And even now, I\'m still following that same passion for how robots can help people. And I\'m still doing it now.

When I'd started to go to college, I went to a really big state university. I went to Texas A&M, and I was a marketing major, and I loved the College of Business. But my second education at A&M was all of the activities that I did because I was exposed to so many things. I really didn't know what I wanted to do when I graduated. There were a lot of paths. After college, I was a tech consultant. I was there for a few years and decided I needed to take a leave of absence. There was something else out there for me, and 9/11 had happened, and I went to the local Red Cross in Houston. It was where I was living. They put me in the development department, which is fundraising. When I made my very first phone call, the story on the other line was that of somebody desperately wanting to help. And during that call, I just felt like at that moment, we were just being human. My passion and my inspiration switched like that.

So today, I had a dream and it was kind of interesting, but also very strange because I was thinking about the situation for work. And then, I was trying to work and I had the situation at work and I was really thinking about it. And so, I had this dream that my boss told me to order catering. And then, I woke up and I realized it was not happening.

I had tons of different jobs when I was in college - cocktail waitressing, being a flight attendant, temp work, teaching aerobics. I was on the boardwalk spinning the wheel. All of a sudden, there was a light bulb that went off one day, and I went to see a film called "The Commitment." I remember that was the first time I'd actually seen the job called a music supervisor. I was like, "Oh, that sounds good." Before I found my area, I was worried. I saw a lot of my friends struggle with not trying in fear of what could be. I've always had the personality that was like, "I need to know." I'm such a big believer in encouraging your own voice because that's what makes you, you.

Badminton. When I was in 11th and 12th grade, and I guess I clung to it like, what's the phrase? Like a fish takes to water. I started playing 6 hours a day, every day, and I became really good at it within a matter of a few months and started playing competitively. Eventually and so on. And then, because I had to go for my undergrad, I had to drop badminton and just focus on my curriculum and academics. It's only after a hiatus of, I would say, 14 years that I have picked up badminton again. And I've been playing very actively over the last three months, and it's been a lot of fun. Yeah.

No one thinks about bobsledding as a kid, especially around here, sunny southern California. You see it on TV during the Olympics, and that's it. It's just not something that you think about doing at a young age. When I came to UCLA, even by my fourth, fifth year, I was like, what am I gonna do? Track's almost over, I keep getting hurt throwing javelin, and it's just like, what next? That's when my coach encouraged me to try out for bobsledding. Never been in a sled before, never been on ice before, but you have to realize what can I do now that I'll not be able to do later on? You can't go back and bobsled in ten years, you have to do it now. This is the only time you can do it. So I was like, I gotta go do this, I gotta try it now or else I'll never know. And that ultimately led to Korea for the Winter Olympic Games. So for me, my goal has always been the same, to make the Olympics. I just didn't realize it would be in bobsledding, but here I am.

Cool. I don't have a story about work, but I do have a story about the trip I took last week. I took a very short trip to Nashville to see my sister and to meet my new nephew. He's six months old. And when I lost my job in January, he was born at the end of February and I wasn't able to see him for this whole time he's been alive. And it's been really hard. I wanted to see him right away and to hold him. And without a job, I really couldn't plan a trip to go see him. So as soon as I was hired, I immediately bought a plane ticket so I could go see him. And it was so satisfying to hold him for the first time. And I facetimed with him and read him books. When she was still pregnant, I would read over the phone to him. And we basically, as soon as I saw him, it's like we were old friends. And I just got to hold him and play with him. And it was the best feeling.

I found out that my wife is pregnant with our first child! When I first found out, I was overcome with emotions. At first, I was so happy and excited because we had been trying for so long to get pregnant. Then I was overcome with sadness. You see, my dad passed away a couple years ago. In my eulogy, I spoke how the day that I find out I would be a father would be one of the toughest days for me. That would be because I wouldn't be able to call him and see his excitement. I wouldn't be able to call him for advice. My wife is now about 6 months pregnant. Still, to this day, I have highs and lows because of these two things. Highs because I am so excited to be a dad. Lows because I don't have my dad here to help me. We found out we are having a girl! I always thought I wanted a boy first, but when I found out we were having a girl, I was so ecstatic. I immediately went into papa bear mode. I began looking into how to be the best dad to a girl. What I needed to know about having a girl. I know that she is going to be the most important thing in my life. So this sums up not only my most recent important life experience but probably the most important one ever!

Yeah. So basically, yesterday, I finally went ahead and built my own raised garden bed for my backyard. For the first time, it was pretty nice and fulfilling at the end of it. I got some tools from my friends. I had some leftover lumber from the time when our contractors did the front. Air France. So I just sat down, spent two to three hours. It was not sunny. It was cloudy. It's good working conditions, but basically, put together a big garden raised garden bed that I'm very proud of. The wood still needs treatment and before I put in soil, there's some fall-up stuff that I need to do, but it was definitely very fulfilling. And one of those things where you kind of delayed for a long time, but then you're like, let's do it now. So I just did that. And I felt very good about it.

I'm the president of a sustainable construction company in Santa Fe, New Mexico. I was born in Manhattan, and I came to visit my sister who lives in Santa Fe, and I thought, well, I think I'd like to live out here. So, I found a piece of land south of town, really rural, with no electricity at the site. So, I set up a solar array, really small with some batteries and an inverter. And I said, "I think that I can do this for a living." But I never intended, I never planned this at all, I just sort of fell into it. And it was logical, and it was survival, honestly, so show initiative. Don't wait for someone to say, "Do that." Try to figure it out as you're going along to understand the whole spectrum of the project. Because if it's already something that you think you're partway into, or that you may have some passion for, that might be your career, that might be the thing that you wanna do.

I just told you my story from the last time, but I can just summarize. Essentially, my middle school best friend and I reconnected, and I don't know how to feel about it because there are a lot of mixed feelings. We ended up breaking off in a pretty harsh way way back when, and we don't really remember how it happened. But it seems like we would get along pretty well nowadays. Although, yeah, this seems like life probably would have been different if we had stuck together. Because I remember it was something like a third party that ended up breaking us up, so technically, it wasn't even between us. But I think my life would have been a lot more different if we had stayed friends.

I'm in my third year of high school and I have no credits. Me and my significant other broke up four days ago. Four painful days. Three years of my life for this person, and I threw it all away because I had a mental breakdown and convinced myself breaking up would solve my problems. I try to be stoic as best as I can every day of my life. I have things I enjoy. I have pet frogs, but I made a fatal mistake today that resulted in my first pet frog passing away. These little creatures deserve a better home. My cat deserves a better owner. I want it all to end right now. I wish I never went on the internet. I wish that my parents didn't unknowingly invalidate everything I've gone through. I wish I never had access to weed or alcohol so I could learn how to cope healthily. It's my fault also. Someone once told me I should think before I act. I wish I had. Everything is all my fault.

So my friends were participating in the Kindergarten Five K last weekend, and they roped me into it. I used to be a runner back in school, but haven\'t done it in 15 or 16 years. And when they asked if I wanted to join, I said, "Yeah, let\'s give it a try." I would love to be able to train, but it looked like every weekend between when I registered and when the race was raining. And so, at the end of the day, we decided to just do a couch to five K, which is get into the actual race without doing any training. It felt a little intimidating, but it seemed as though it would be an interesting experience in itself, without the intent to win or get a super fascinating timing. But before the race, I did a lot of research around how to practice, what the mindset should be, how I should pace myself, etc. And consistently, and most importantly, the advice I got was, "Know what your average pace is and go just a little bit below that." And it turned out to be a good race overall. I got a good timing, it was enjoyable enough, and the fact my friends were celebrating made it a lot of fun overall.

We live in Canada, and sometimes the winters can get long. November is gloomy. December is usually cheerful just because of the holidays, good food, and people, and then it drags out with freezing temperatures, dark nights, and crappy driving conditions from January through April. I find I get sad around February since I'm just wishing for sunlight and for my face not to hurt when I go outside. We finally got a huge dump of snow, and my husband and I picked up our season passes and went snowboarding for the first time. Did I fall an insane amount? Yes. Were some of my wipeouts spectacular? Absolutely. Do I know what I'm doing? Not particularly. Am I in pain? My butt is so bruised I'm looking like a plum. But man, did we have fun. When I first brought it up in October, my husband said he wanted to go with me, and I was thrilled. He's a bit of a homebody in the winter, so I was just excited to be able to share a sport with him. We bought all of our gear without even having tried the sport and just waited for the perfect time to go. We had so much fun, and I'm really looking forward to hitting the hills tomorrow and again later this week too! I get to spend quality time with him, we're being active, we're learning something new together, and we're spending time outdoors - it's the best of all the worlds combined. It's making the winter seem so much shorter since I'm actually wishing for winter to stay and more snow to hit. It really helped change my attitude on winter.

Okay. The story I'd like to tell is about setting boundaries at work. I think that the last few days, I've been struggling with working with people who are not necessarily either totally in tune with my responsibilities as a consultant or people who are just, like, sort of frazzled and pushing responsibility onto me. And I think that I've been feeling like I need to set better boundaries or I need to be clearer with myself about what those expectations are. Like, whether it's okay to scope research without an expectation of being paid for those hours, whether I need to price that into future work, or whether that's just something that I need to set better boundaries about.

I met with my supervisor and Human Resources in the afternoon to go over my options after the performance improvement plan. They suggested either accepting a voluntary demotion out of the administrative and leadership roles that I had been involved in for over 12 years, or proceed to a pre-disciplinary hearing on the situation. That night, I had to face some of my avoidant behaviors. I had been hiding the severity of the situation not just from myself but also my partner and had to go home and break down about the entire thing. I sat on the floor and freaking melted down in shame and sorrow about the entire situation. When I explained as much as I could about what had been going on and that on a daily basis, I 'thought I had it. I thought it was under control. I was fixing it. And I didn't want to bother" her. Her response was immediate. She told me in no uncertain terms that while I was sorry because I didn't want to worry her about it, I SHOULD have been sorry about thinking I had to go through it by myself. That lifted a huge weight. Six weeks later, I'm still reckoning with the effect of that conversation on me emotionally. I'm able to have more conversations with her about it. We're stronger than we were before.

So last winter, I went skiing in Big Bear, California. And I\'ve been skiing before, but this particular time, the snow was really wet. It wasn\'t soft. There wasn\'t a lot of snow that year, and so I had a hard time braking. So, I fell down a lot. It sounds painful, but it was actually kind of funny because I went on the steeper slopes, and my friends were like, "you should just do it." And then I did it. And then I started to fall. But in the end, it was pretty fun, even though I felt weak. We went and got some ramen after, some Fu afterwards. And the warmth of the Fu really helped warm me up after falling in the snow all day.

Today is the day of the competition; we were so excited but apprehensive about this trip. Ben has been preparing for several months, but are you ever really prepared? I could not sleep last night because I was so worried about this event, and I hoped I was able to support Ben accordingly. How would I react if things don't go to plan? We have spent so much money and time on this. We got there around 6 am; traffic was shockingly less than expected! The parking lot was full already, but we managed to grab a space thanks to someone leaving. We remembered to take everything along we needed: costume, skates, snacks. Tony, my husband, was exhausted and suffering from a cold. My older son, S, was not thrilled about attending this event and wanted to go home. I was hoping I could bribe him to enjoy things by saying he could pick where we ate dinner. Ben was excited and not even remotely nervous. I was a wreck but pretending to be fine! Ben got into costume around 7 am, practice ice went well, and he seemed happy and content. We then saw the kids he would be competing against and felt a pang of nerves. How could this little kid compete against kids much bigger and stronger than him? He did not seem fazed at all. Another boy and his family were there, but they were not remotely friendly. They kept glaring at us, which made me feel irritated and also nervous. One of Ben's friends, a little girl, skated and did okay but did not win; she came 4th in her event. This made me worry for Ben and start telling myself this whole trip was a waste of money. It was time for Ben to skate, and we all held our breath. He did an amazing job, and we were not sure if it was good enough to win, but it was good. Ben's coach said, "he has got this, he will win," and we waited for the scores, trying to not get too excited. The scores took forever to be announced, but when they were, sure enough, he had won! It was time to calm down and congratulate the other skaters on their skates and try to not appear too boastful. We waited for the medal ceremony but heard nothing. We then had the medal ceremony, which was incredibly rewarding, and then the event was over! We were exhausted and went home. And it was still only 10:30 am!

Done. So, I am moving from my current location to where my girlfriend lives. And my plan was to send the boxes of my stuff to her place, that is her house. And she initially mentioned that "you really need to send those multiple boxes". Then we kind of figured it out. And the last time we talked about it, it was more humorous, like "oh, really? Where are you sending those boxes?". "Oh, my address." "Okay." And this time yesterday, it was again that sense of "thing" where she doesn\'t want me to send those boxes. And she said, "wasn\'t it just one box? Are you sending multiple boxes to my house?". And it makes me feel that I am dependent on her for shipping those boxes and I am asking her for a favor. And it makes me feel like it just pushes my self-respect in that sense. And I don\'t really feel good about it. And I have been angry all night and all day.

Today was a terrible day for me. My coworker, who we will call the big "W," is usually always mean to me. However, today she was the worst. It was our big Christmas party, and she micromanaged everyone at work today. She started openly complaining about only she was smart, only she did any real work, etc. Everyone had told me since I started here how terrible she was and how badly they wanted her to be fired. Despite this, no one would ever do anything about her or talk about her until she left the room. Finally, I snapped and decided not to sit down and take it like everyone else. While she started insisting she told me to do something I was never told, I told her to her face she never said that. She lost it and started to scream at me while she did that my boss just ignored it like he usually did. I decided I had enough of a boss that wouldn't do anything and handed him my resignation, which was more than he deserved. He tried to convince me it was cowardly to leave, but I told him it was cowardly to not fire her. She kept harassing me through the night until that point, then my boss decided to take her to the back room and yell at her for having a coworker finally quit over her. She came back out and stayed quiet for the whole rest of the night. I left that job and felt good about leaving; they all already didn't like her, but it was made worse once she actually cost them a good employee who at least tried their best, which was more than half of the people they hired did.

Okay, I am taking on MBA course and in the course, I am currently taking Professional Communication Management. But the instructors and the assistance of them are not so professional. In their communications, for instance, they are teaching to respond chat pretty quickly. But what they're doing is they respond to chat message four days after that the message I send so it is a little frustrating.

Engineering was exciting to me because it was the creation process of going from an idea to "I've made this" or "This is a better way of doing it." We opened up the directory of industrial designers. And we just started cold calling down the list to try to get interviews. We had just graduated from college, so we didn't really know anything about their daily work, so we just asked them to tell us, "So what do you do? Show us where you work. What kind of projects are you working on? What are the problems?" And one of the patterns was, people had a hard time finding new materials. Finding suppliers, finding how to use it, finding what are the options. It's a whole can of worms that they just didn't know how to do. I really wanted to realize my maximum potential, and I felt if I just took a job somewhere, then I wouldn't be able to realize it. It would just be whatever they gave you to do. Today, if you want to build something, the barriers to try are very low. And it really comes back to effort and desire.

So this past weekend, I went to my first wedding ever. And it was so fun. The groom was my peer mentor, so he was one of the people who introduced me to MIT, to the dorm we were living in. He took care of me and the friends I went with. And, the bride was someone also in my year but, like, one year younger in age. They met through shared interests and it was just super touching. Their ceremony was outside, very cute vows, almost too cute. I feel like I would not want super cringy long vows, but it was still enough to make me cry a lot. But then the reception was what really got me. Both dads gave these beautiful speeches. Their first dance was also just so, aw touching that all of the friend group, except for the guys, were like crying, crying. And it makes me think about what I want in my future wedding, in my future partner, and the marriage in general. But the happy couple is now not yet on their honeymoon because she still has a conference to go to and they'll go on the honeymoon after her conference. But just, it's crazy to think about how life can change so fast. Basically, I flew in Saturday morning, commuted like an hour and a half to go to a really nice udon place. I'm not famous, famous, but kind of famous. And then spent like 2 hours getting ready for the wedding. And it was really fun because we got to dress up and we all haven't dressed up in a long, long time and get ready together in a room, catch up, spill some tea. We made our way to the hotel for the wedding. And then for our first experience, a lot of us didn't know what to do. We got there way too early. But it was still a really fun time. And I also just ran into people. I saw random people that I knew and extended my trip because I knew I loved it so much. I didn't want to come back too quickly. Yeah, that was the story of the first wedding I've ever been to.

I went to my cousin's wedding last month. It was important to me because we grew up together in the same house for a period of time, and it was a major milestone for her. It was in Toronto, Canada, and there were over 100 guests there. I also got to see extended family together for the first time in years. We first went to a wedding rehearsal before the event. It was at a Chinese restaurant, and the food was really good. Then we went to a castle for the actual day of the wedding. First, I got to see them walk down the aisle. Then, I got to see the official formalize the event and watch them dance. Then, we went to a reception. I got to hear speeches from many people that marked what an important event it was. The funniest speech was when they shared each other's many embarrassing secrets. It made the event lighter but also showed how much they knew and cared for each other. It was my first time at a wedding, so it was a cool experience. Mostly, I was just happy to see my cousin get married and have such a life-changing event.

So it's been about two months since we deep cleaned our house. Me and my girlfriend. And this morning, we woke up early, and it was a great week at work for both of us. So we woke up early this morning and we decided that we were going to wash the covers for our couch and we were going to keep them in the house. So we started cleaning the kitchen. We put all of the covers in the washing machine. We're certainly going to have a little bit closure to about the house. And we just spent most of the day cleaning. And it was pretty great. She also went and got her meds for the first time in about two to three weeks. She hadn't had her appointment yet. So we just spent the day catching back up on household chores. It was nice. It's been a while since we had a chance to do that. Now, for the rest of the day, I'm just going to have to keep studying for my job. I'll have an evaluation next week. But things are looking pretty good. Things are starting to look up.

My mother had been living in a nursing home. She had fallen at home and broke her wrist. She was hospitalized. They put a splint on her. They were afraid that due to her age, she was not strong enough and that caused her to fall. They felt physical therapy would be beneficial to her. She went from there to a 21-day physical rehab center. They were unable to improve her strength or balance. They felt that a nursing home was the only choice for her to be safe. Rehab was provided 3 times a day there. She never regained her strength and died there in the last 90 days or so. I was devastated because I had really hoped she would come. I kept encouraging her. She continued to work as hard as was possible at the time. During her time there, though, I was relieved because I knew she was safe.

Hello. So, I was at the library, and I ran into a friend whom I hadn't seen since high school. And that was great. We went out to have some coffee. But I forgot what I had gone to the library for in the first place, which was to work on an assignment. So, I turned that in late.

I feel tired now and wanted to have short conversations. There's an hour of time-saving here, which makes it night already, even though it is still bright outside. I feel so tired of work. I don't feel like making friends like my classmates. Kind of annoying to have online classes, even though no one cares about Covid here.

So, I was kind of looking at old pictures but also thinking about pictures from my childhood. And my mom is really embarrassed about herself. She's always been, ever since I can remember. And it's funny because a lot of times in old pictures, I'll see my sister and I or my sister and other people in our family. But it's always weird seeing my mom in old pictures because it's so rare. And it's also rare, a little weird feeling, remembering that person who she was because she was so pretty and so young. Very, very young, but also so tormented. Just she has a lot of depression and anxiety. And I didn't know what it was as a kid. And I remember just not realizing how the situation I was in until getting out and looking back. So, seeing these old pictures of my sister and I kind of just, it's funny to see. It just makes me feel grateful for my sister, for being there when it was a little bit difficult but also just, I feel a little bit lucky that that little girl that was me in the pictures had no idea. I didn't try to wrap my head too far around the struggles that my mom was going through. And I kind of just picked up and treaded through all of her stuff that she was trying to put on me. And now I'm a stronger person for it. But looking back at pictures with seeing her in them and knowing what she used to say about herself, and it was totally not true, and especially looking back now, it's just a very interesting feeling to see that.

I'm sick and tired of hearing people constantly talk about suicide in passing or as a joke. Every year at my high school, with the exception of my senior year, had at least one suicide per school year, two of which were my brother's friends, and one of which was my friend. People don't understand the suffocating pain that occurs when you get the call telling you that someone you love committed suicide. They don't understand the sound of anguish your big brother makes when he loses the kid he grew up with or the pain of seeing everyone you care about suffering in the wake of death. They don't understand the guilt and self-loathing. They don't understand that three years later you still fear every phone call you get, worrying that the next one will break you. I still feel sick to this day knowing that my friends will never be here again, that I won't ever see them again, never hear their laughs, see them grow up, fall in love, or find happiness.

Sure. This morning, I had a really frustrating experience with my partner who is afraid of needles, which means that he is uncomfortable getting blood drawn and has not gotten blood drawn or lab work done in several years since he was a child, and now he's an adult. So he really should do that. I went through the trouble of trying to figure out an at-home option to just do a few drops of blood and test, like most of the things that need to be tested. But he struggled to do it this morning and was also very grumpy and cranky about it. I felt sort of frustrated because I'm not like the bad guy here. I'm an adult, and it's important for you to take care of your health. So I don't really understand why I'm like the sort of villain of the story.

We've been friends for a while, not a super long time, but long enough for me to really value his opinion. I hadn't mentioned my autism because I get anxious about people reacting negatively to it, but he didn't! And I knew he wouldn't! It came about by me telling him what a tough time I've been having recently with managing my symptoms, and it sparked a great conversation of him trying to help with a problem and then telling me fun stories about his other autistic friends. It was a great part of a bad day!

I guess, a story I want to tell right now is, I guess, my love for robots and how, over the course of my life, I've grown with technology and have worked very much hands-on on tangible devices like hardware. And it's a lot of fun, and it's what I love doing. But now, I'm transitioning to positions that are more like data science, where I'll be doing more remote, not hands-off, still hands-on project work, but more so software and data, not with tangible devices I can play with in my hands like robots. But I guess that also leads me to this question of the journey of growing up of where does technology, where do I differentiate between technology as a hobby and as a career. And it feels like now I'll be able to not look at social robots in my home as necessarily my job but more so friends to have in my home to interact with, so I can kind of separate work and life and have that work-life balance of technology where now I can be doing the hard statistical analysis and modeling and AI stuff on the computer for work but then working on stuff like robots and maybe the models for them but still being hands-on work aside from my career. So I guess I'm in an interesting place in life where I'm transitioning to, or yes, I've been doing that technology that I've worked hands-on with my entire life has just been a hobby where I've been developing my skills, and I didn't necessarily have to learn all of that in school. Actually, now that I think about it, the stuff I'm doing in terms of my career is more so stuff I learned in school but my hardware and technology experience was largely acquired beyond the classroom. So I guess I'm not seeing it, I'm not actually making that much of a transition. I'm still just doing what I've been doing. So yeah, I guess I just get to do what I like now.

I'm currently a narrative creator and game designer for Niantic. Prior to that, I was in film school. When I was in undergrad, I got interested in games, I got interested in game design. I took all the game design courses, I'm the only one there who's done all of these. They start to call on me to TA all of these classes. They pull in a guy named Flint Dille, and he's teaching a class on alternate reality games. We worked well together; we go our separate ways and then two years later, he is starting to do this project and he needs a guy who can help him, and he calls me. I ended up here by pushing in a direction I found interesting, and Niantic is very much focused on developing the intellectual property that we own, which is Ingress. We're developing and building this really deep and rich and interconnected sort of science fiction world. There was always the risk that I'm driving the primal force of my energy and interest into an area with no guarantees. But I was hedging the risk by just learning constantly, learning how to do new stuff. At some point, you end up with so many tools on your toolbelt that you know that if you're backed into a corner, you can reach down to the utility belt and be like, "I know how to do this!"

Yeah. So my sister is writing this story, and the preliminary title, or the current title, is "Wonders for the Dead." And it\'s a really interesting story. Her and I had talked about it and kind of brainstormed together because it\'s based off the idea of Christian missionaries. But it\'s trying to take an ethical perspective or like a thoughtful perspective on the idea of someone being a missionary and bringing the idea of like, why would someone want to be a missionary? And so I read this story today to offer some edits or some critiques. And basically, the story goes, it starts out this little girl named Annalore is on a train with her mother and her two siblings. And they are traveling from, we don\'t know exactly where, but they\'re going to a citadel. And then the train stops because they need to do some train work. And they see three undead, or how they\'re called, dead. Three of the dead behind or like the little girl sees three of the dead and they\'re wearing ragged clothes. And she asks her mother, like, "mama, is that one of the dead?" And her mother\'s trying to sleep, so her mother tells her like, "Be quiet, leave me alone." But then the dead, they race for the train, they jump into the train, and they\'re trying to find somebody to bite or somebody to eat. And then they get in, everyone\'s panicking, there\'s like a stampede. The main character was in the woman\'s train compartment and all the men run into that compartment. And they\'re hiding, they\'re trying to get away from this, obviously slam his door closed. And then there\'s just this little boy and this old man who are left there with the dead chasing them. And so the little boy manages to open a window and jumps out the window, and the old man is waving his cane at the dead, trying to get out, trying to escape. He looks back to see that the little boy\'s opened the window and then they grab him and they start biting him, ripping him to pieces. And the whole time the little girl is just watching. And like her mother told her, stay still, sit, don\'t look. And so the whole time she\'s just watching because her mother can\'t pay attention to that with everything going on. So she sees this man get killed very violently. But then the train workers come and they have guns, and they\'re like, "you better leave this train or else we\'re going to blow you to Kingdom Come." And so then the dead, one of them says, "You should be scared of me. What are you doing?" But the train records, once again, are like, "we\'ll shoot you if you don\'t leave." So then finally they leave, they drag the body of the old man away with them, and the girl is horrified at thinking about what she saw. And so then, flash forward, maybe like ten years later, and she\'s trying to buy a gun in the store. And the store owner asks her, like, "Is this gun for your father?" She tells him, "no, this is not for my father." He\'s, like, "Are you sure?" She\'s like, "yes, because my father looks for all of his women folk, or like the women connected to him, to be well armed and taken care of." So eventually the store owner decides, like, "okay, fine, I\'ll sell you the gun." And he had tried to sell her, like, a really bad gun that wasn\'t working very well because he thought as a woman that she wouldn\'t know. But she instantly knew. And so then she takes her gun, she gets all of the materials that she needs for her father, for his store. She takes it over there. And then the store clerk is kind of flirting with her, like, "oh, you don\'t have to call me Mr. Gibson or whatever his name is. You can call me by my first name." And she\'s like, "that would be inappropriate." And he\'s like, "but is there a way that we could be close?" And she\'s like, "sure, whatever." And she leaves. She runs out because she\'s like, "I need to go and check the mail. Like, I\'m waiting for a package or a letter." Until she gets there and the mail is late. And so everybody starts freaking out. They\'re like, "Did the dead attack the train?" And the Sheriff\'s like, "no, the dead haven\'t attacked our train in ages, it\'s fine." And she\'s like, "yeah, but he doesn\'t know about me being attacked by the dead that time, like, ten years ago." So finally, the mail compartment arrives, and everybody\'s excited. They raise the man, and they ask him, like, "Wait, did the dead attack the train? It\'s all right, it\'s late." And he\'s just, like, frozen and speechless, holding these packages. And they\'re like, "Wait, he\'s one of the dead!" And they start freaking out, they start panicking. And then the girl fires her rifle into the air, and she\'s like, "you need to calm down. Like, he\'s not one of the dead. He doesn\'t have any of the signs of the dead." And so then she goes up to the guide, she\'s like, "okay, do you have my package from blah, blah, blah, this other city?" And he\'s like, "yeah, I do." He gives it to her. And she\'s like, "okay," because she\'s waiting for this response to find out if she can become a part of the lazari to help deal with the dead. And so that\'s the beginning of the story. And I thought it was a pretty interesting story. So you can tell me what you think.

I bought a consumer-grade camera in 1989 and said to myself, "One day I'm gonna make a documentary that makes a difference." A friend of a friend came and said, "Do you have a minute? Let's go out and get a drink. I want to talk to you." And he said, "I was in the Russian far East investigating the trade in Siberian tiger pelts, and they offered to sell me women. Let's do something about it." He came to me because I had done international human rights work and I knew a lot about women's issues. It wasn't something I was familiar with in 1995. So I started researching it and then just quit my job two weeks later. I pitched up his office and was like, "Okay. I can wait tables if I need to in order to make this happen." And I created a phony company called International Liaison Specializing in Foreign Models, Escorts, and Entertainers. We posed as foreign buyers interested in purchasing women. When you have the privilege of freedom and the opportunity that affords you, you have a responsibility to try to ensure that there is actually freedom.

Story, okay. I don't have a story first, per se, but I think I just have a lot of emotions that I'm working through right now, and I just feel like. I don't know, tearing up a bit. But I guess I'm just worried for the rest of this month. I just feel overwhelmed with how many birthday celebrations there are. I know it's funny, but I don't know. I just feel like there are so many birthdays in my family. And then there's also my birthday, and I'll be turning 24, which is weird because I feel like, wow, I'm actually growing up. Now my age is showing. It's because I always felt very mature for my age. But now I'm like, oh, I'm not still young, but I feel like, wow, I'm getting older. I'm 24. So I think I just feel overwhelmed by the amount of, like, I guess gifts I have to buy and just the events you have to show up for. I think like parties and that I'm not in the greatest place financially, just given the type of jobs my family works. And then, even though I have a degree from like a really good university, I don't have a high-paying job. I'm working at the bakery, which is minimum wage. There are a lot of goals on the side I'm saving up for. So I just feel overwhelmed by trying to save money towards the goals that I'm working towards, but then also paying bills. And then trying to buy gifts and stuff for celebrations for my family and people who have birthdays in September. I swear I have like eight birthdays in December, and it's like a little overwhelming. Maybe even more because I have friends who are also in September, and I feel bad not getting them gifts, but... Yeah, I think I'm just overwhelmed with, I guess, the social, financial connection. Like, to hang out with people, you have to spend money. And I just feel like I'm still trying to save money and I want to say get back on my feet. I don't know. I have a lot of worries in my mind. And I did have, after I graduated from university, I did have a good-paying job for a couple of months. Because the company, it was just not a good company. It was just a really stressful work environment. But I was getting paid, like, double what I make now in terms of hourly wage. And I guess sometimes I just get stuck thinking like, wow, I really left that job. It was paying me well, for given that I didn't have other benefits. I feel like it was paying me relatively well compared to, like, it was the most amount of money I've ever made in my life, but I'm also young. And I don't come from a lot of financial, I don't come from much financial privilege. So it's like I still have complicated feelings with accepting or forgiving myself. I don't know what it's forgiving, but if you can go came with leaving a job that paid me more money, and then feeling more limited financially despite graduating from like a prestigious university. I just have a lot of worries right now connected to finances and birthday celebrations and trying to still spend time with friends and family, but trying to save up for goals I have but then also paying bills and try not to let it get to me, but it's like a lot. And I'm not the only one feeling like this. I know my family definitely feels pressure. I think there's just a lot of with the expenses right now, I think inflation is really high. Groceries are very high. It just feels like the cost of living is so expensive now. I know I'm not alone, but that also really sucks because it makes me feel like when can we escape this cycle of struggling? Like, what? Will I have enough money to feel comfortable and not worry about paying bills? And the crazy part is like even with the college degree, it's just wild. So I just have all these complicated feelings attached to leisure and finances and goals and relationships, and I'm having a hard time coping with that. It comes in waves, but yeah. So I have all those worries. I don't know if you have... It's just rough.

I always have felt behind in my life compared to my friends and other people I know. I'm 17 and I can't drive, I've never had a boyfriend, and I don't know what my plans are for the future. I felt so bad, like I was lesser than. But this summer I got a job, and since there was no school, and it was under the table. I worked six days a week, like 60 hours a week. I was just going through the motions. And here I am today, checking my bank account for the first time, and I have a balance of $7,636.41. I can't believe I earned that! It feels SO good! None of my friends have jobs, and they always have to ask their parents for money, but here I am with this hefty loft! And then also today, I finally got confirmation that I just got another job. Today is going so well! I feel like I'm really able to conquer the world and save money, and that when I move out next year, I'll know what to do. I can finally afford driving school, and I may not have any big plans, but now I'm going to get my CNA training with the Red Cross because a woman I know offered me a job to be her in-house CNA if I get training. And after I get experience there, I can try for this healthcare agency, and I'll be able to make a higher wage traveling between locations, and I can pick what days I work and what shifts or if I even want to work at all that week. Things are finally starting to piece together. Everything feels so clear and right. Like I have a path to go down now, and I'm doing it ALL BY MYSELF! Nobody handed anything to me, nobody helped me with this. I DID THIS!! I just feel so proud and hopefully I can start saving for a car or I'll have to figure out how loans work.

It. Yeah? So last? When I was seven years old, I moved back to India from the United States.

My parents migrated from Italy. None of them had education. My parents want me to go to local college. I had enormous pressure. My parents wanted me to be a dentist because that was a way to upward mobility. They actually had a little family intervention to convince me to be a dentist. I told my parents I got into MIT, which I thought was a big deal, to study urban planning, and they don't let in a lot of students. My mother and father looked kinda dazed. They didn't know what MIT was. I found myself convincing my parents a lot. You just have to follow what you really love, and you can't let people drive you off-track. I can only say from my experience. When I do things that are true to me, they're successful. When I do things that are not true to me, they are not successful.

Yeah. Well, I guess the story I want to tell is about how I went through higher education like undergrad and grad school. And now, I moved back home and I'm ready to transition to industry work. This is the first time I'm moving back home in years. I lived on campus during undergrad and then during grad school. I lived in Hyde Park. So for the last three years, during the COVID-19 pandemic up until last week, I was living in Hyde Park and I was having a great time. But I finally finished school. I have a graduate degree. And now, I'm transitioning to working full-time in my career, which I haven't done before. So I moved back home, which I really dislike because this is my childhood room. I've been in this room for the last almost 27 years. And I have a lot of traumatic memories associated with this bedroom. But before you know it, I'll have a job, and I'll be making money. And then maybe I'll finally be able to get my own apartment or buy a home that I can live in and be away from this place that I really dislike. But for right now, I'm in that part of the journey where I've lived away from home for school, but now I finish school. So now I have to get away from home again.

I was born and raised in Hong Kong. After I graduated from high school, I moved to California for college, and I went to UC Davis. My parents advised me, "You have three choices with your career: you can either be a doctor, or a lawyer, or an engineer." And thank God I chose engineer because I fell in love with it. I didn't think about going into the insurance industry. I had specific companies in mind that I wanted to work for, related to chemical engineering. But then, when I stumbled upon FM Global, I was immediately hooked. That I get to work with different risk managers and different facilities. So I thought that was the best opportunity that I could give myself to open my horizon a little bit. So what I am doing now is heading up the cyber unit here in FM Global. To make sure that we have the adequate engineering products and services so that we can offer our clients the best risk management solutions for cyber. So we have been burning things up in a lab. We do explosions, we do shake tables for an earthquake, we fill rooms with water to test our flood barriers. But it's really time now to come up with a tool to help our clients to mitigate cyber risk as well. So I'm really excited to be part of that innovation team just to start up something new.

One of my hobbies is origami, and I'm going to tell you about how I started getting into it. I think that started when I was around 14 or 13. And one day, the idea of making a paper dragon popped into my head. I'm not sure where that came from, so I scoured the internet. I went on YouTube and tried to find a video of origami dragon instructions or a tutorial. I wanted a model that looked cool, and I wasn't really thinking about how difficult it would be to make.\n\nIn the end, I settled on some pretty complex models and tried to make them. Since I had never really done origami before, except for simple paper planes and unpapercrafts, it was very difficult. I'm talking about hundreds of folds, all made with great precision. So I tried over and over for a day, and then another one, and then it went to a week. I must have tried 20 or 30 times, each one taking hours. And then I couldn't go to finish. I even traveled a bit that week, and even during the journey, I was folding and folding and folding. I tried to fold that model so many times that at some point, I committed most of the folds to memory.\n\nAfter about a month of trying, I was finally able to finish making the model. It was very satisfying to have finally got it done. And that sparked my love for origami, and I went on to make many, many more models. And I still enjoy doing origami to this day. I also want to learn to design my own models and learn about the interesting math behind origami and research done in the field. But I think most of all, I just enjoy the process of folding and creating something with my hands. Once the model is finished, it feels like it's over, and I'm just looking for a new one to start working on.

I took a calculus course, and I had this amazing teacher who taught the entire thing through computer programming. It was visual, and for the first time ever, I was able to understand math. It bridged my love of computer-generated imagery, and then what I started noticing is that there are these patterns in the world that you could model and stimulate, and there's some harmony and beauty in there, and it was linguistic. Writing code is language, it's like poetry. It's like manipulating grammar. I think it's a very similar set of skills to a poet, and people don't really realize that. People tell you art and math have nothing to do with each other. But I had this experience where someone showed me math like an artist.

Okay, here's the corrected transcript:\n\nWell, again, I'm thinking of things that happened this week when we were on vacation with my grandchildren. And two of the little girls, Lydia and Lucy, made a lovely lunch for me. It was rice and a very thin egg omelet with soy sauce all around it. She lamented the fact that she didn't have any seaweed snack to put on it because she said that would have made it even better. But it's so happy to see them cooking and caring about serving good, healthy food. So I thought I would write a review. So I wrote to the family, a very authentic-sounding review of what I named Lucy and Lydia's Cousin's Cafe. And I made quite a big deal about each item in the dish. And then the very next day, Lucy, the older of the two girls, made pancakes at her house and brought them across the street to Lydia's house. And so, I gave Lucy and her efforts quite a review as well. And I'm hoping to keep this up with every cookie they make, every brownie, every lunch or dinner they help with. I will be happy to write a picture, to write a review and maybe take a picture and publish a picture. I thought I'd call it Grandma's Gazettes.

Today, I asked my mum how she made that rice with saffron. After I ate the rice, I remembered a meat replacement she made me when I was vegetarian. She put together mushrooms and zucchini, rolled it in egg, put breadcrumbs around it, then fried it in a pan. She put so much thought into it. Even after she came home from work, she wanted to make a good meal for me. I'm so thankful for all those meals she cooked. It makes me happy. I love my mum.

So this past weekend, Alicia and I went up to the near the White Mountains area, so Lakes Sunipe, I think it's called. And the reason we went up was to go see the leaves changing colors. And as we drove further and further North, the leaves became more and more colorful. It was a really pleasant experience taking a road trip.

I was on a vacation with my brother, and we decided to take a long road trip through New England and up to the Canadian border. We set off with only a rough destination in mind and intending to go or do whatever caught our eye over the long drive of about a week. We stopped in many cool little towns along the way. There were really great old antique shops all over, and I loved looking through the old memorabilia. Along the route, we were passing through Vermont, and off the side of the road, we saw a beautiful grassy mountain with a waterfall cascading down the side. We thought it looked so cool, we parked and decided to hike up the mountainside a bit. It was an easy climb but long and tiring. We stayed as close to the waterfall as we could as we went up. We ended up climbing all the way to the top and got an amazing view. On the way back down, we took a different route and not far from the top, found a glistening pool where the waterfall cascaded and then continued out the other side. It was perfect for taking a refreshing dip, and we did! It was ice-cold but really awesome. The rest of the trip was great. We went into little towns and ate amazing seafood. I never ate so much lobster and so many bowls of chowder in my life! It was really amazing, and there were many memorable spots. We even crossed the border into Canada and drove a ways up the coast, which was really rugged and beautiful. We visited a national park in Canada and spent one night there. We saw many beautiful spots, but that one dip on the mountainside in the ice-cold spring water was the coolest part and a great memory.

I've been watching the news today. I watch it every day, a couple of times a day. And I'm becoming more and more distressed about my countrymen. We have a former President who has done some bad things. He doesn't always act in the best interest of society. I believe he does things outside the law, and he says things that are not in line with the kindness I feel that needs to be in place for a leader. But that doesn't bother me so much, only because there are a lot of people like that. Lots of people who don't abide by laws or the spirit of the laws. But what is really bothering me is all the millions of people that don't care about the fact that he's not following the very laws that he said and took an oath to protect. And it's that, it's that my countrymen, my fellow Americans, aren't processing through what is going on with this one man. There's lots of room for many opinions in this world, but I think the one that should be unifying to us is that we want an ethical, honest, smart, fair-minded human being in positions of power.

The recent Adam Levine and Try Guy drama has me thinking about this. I think you have to be extremely naive to be surprised at news of celebrities having affairs and whatnot. They all do it. It's really not anybody else's business, honestly. It's not like celebrities are obligated to be good role models. Even if their public image is a relatively wholesome one, I find it odd that people lose sight of the fact that these are professional entertainers, it's very clearly just a branding thing, and we don't know any of these people.

Okay. So yesterday, I went to this meetup group. It's an art meetup group, basically for doing digital art with a bunch of people together in a coffee house, which was pretty nice. It's my first time there. Yeah, and I met some new friends, which is very good. I've never really done anything like that in my life, and I've been doing art pretty much just by myself. And it feels very nice to do it with other people. Yeah.

They hold this event in London called New Media Underground Festival. For the event, they did a challenge to design the official event t-shirt and my design won, and then I started Threadless, literally an hour after that. But I didn't know how to make t-shirts, and I didn't know how to charge people's credit cards online. I didn't know what I was doing. One thing that's been really important for me is always having a personal project, something you're doing on the side because you never know what it's gonna turn into.

Okay. So this is the only story I can think of, and hopefully it\'ll be a little interesting to you, Jivo. So basically, I met this guy on a train platform a few days ago, and he walked up to me and he said something like, "Hi, how are you doing?" And then somehow segued the conversation to talking about the difficulty of finding community in Boston. I think he said something like, "Oh, this is where I\'m from, blah, blah." And then we got on the train, traveled a little bit, and he\'s like, "Oh, you know, we should chat again as I\'m getting off." Okay, he\'s pretty interesting. So then, a few days ago, we got lunch and chatted for an hour or two. And I had already sent, like, "Oh, maybe this guy is kind of approaching me because he thinks I\'m attractive in some way, just physically." And we did have some things, some overlaps or something that are common or shared. But he would always move from the things that I was most interested in to talking about what he seemed to be most interested in sharing. And now, he is trying to get me to hang out with him, and we met less than a week ago. So, I\'m currently in a place of trying to figure out how to be kind to another person and treat them well without feeling like I owe them anything or have a certain responsibility to do or say or give anything that I don\'t want to. Yeah, so that\'s a story for my week.

I'm very independent, been dating around for a little bit here and there. I'm a comedian/filmmaker, and I'm almost always busy, which is why I never prioritize dating anyone. In the past, I've always dated other creatives - musicians, filmmakers, comics, etc. However, I always felt like I was in their limelight, and they never truly believed in me. I always felt like a "groupie" of sorts. But it's only been a couple weeks since I came across this guy, and I feel like my whole world has changed. The first night we met, we walked around the city for about 6 hours, just talking about our past and future ideas, making jokes, and even coming up with our own sketches on the spot. I never had that immediate of a connection with anyone. He watched some of my short films (on his own time) and told me he's making it a goal of his to showcase my talents. For the first time, I'm with someone whom I feel truly believes in me. Now, I've been in love before, been in relationships, flings, the whole nine yards. They've always felt very disposable to me, though, like in my head, they all had an expiration date. But with him, I'm already fantasizing about the future, which is something I've never done with anyone.

Story. It's really not a story; it's looking at some photos of my two youngest daughters and how quickly they've grown.

My heart was broken. I don't know how to process this. I just received news today that E had passed. I am just so sad and numb. I can't believe she is gone. I am relieved for her but glad that she no longer has to be strong and brave. She can finally find peace. Selfishly, I wish she were still here. I can't help but reflect on the last year of emails and all the thoughts and memories that we shared. We learned we were more alike than I think each of us ever expected. We found joy and humor in the same things. A good comedy, a book, and always in pursuit of those foods that reminded us of childhood. I am flooded with memories and thoughts of her. She was creative and so smart. She was daring and bold. Fierce. My mind always goes back to when we were kids at our first swimming lesson. We were tasked with jumping in the water that was well over heads. She was the first to go as I sat on the edge with her sister, scared and nervous. When it was Edie's turn, she bravely jumped in without hesitation. She immediately popped out of the water with a big smile across her face. This gave me the courage to follow her lead. And throughout our childhood, as we came of age and tried new experiences, she was like an older sister to me, even if it was only by nine months. These are the thoughts that make me miss her, feel nostalgic for a different time. I will always think of her fondly and miss her for all my days. I will find inspiration and remember how knowing her made me a better person.

Hello. The story I'd like to tell is about my desire to have my foot heal faster than it is. The doctor told me that it would take two months for me to be able to be weight bearing again on my foot that had surgery. However, I assumed that I would heal faster and that it wouldn't be as painful as it was, the recovery that is.\n\nWell, six weeks in, the doctor said things were coming along smoothly and that I could start doing some weight bearing and start physical therapy. So, that was a week ago yesterday. Things are getting better, but I'm not progressing as quickly as I would like. I guess that's what we all think we're going to do something faster, better, or whatever than the average.

I wrecked my car last week on the way home from work. I got sent back to the hospital that I'm a nurse at, the ER treated me not so well, and I was there for 12 hours. I broke my nose, bruised my face, my teeth went through my bottom lip and chin, and I had three compression fractures in my vertebrae making it very hard to move. But that was 5 days ago, and I'm up and walking with my brace, showering, sleeping on my side, and I even walked down our two steps to check the mail! I'm so proud of the progress I've made.

I'm going to share something about work today. So, I've been doing an internship. It ends on this Friday. As part of the internship, my project has been basically to render a component on the page. And I spent probably six, seven, eight, probably eight weeks of my twelve-week internship trying to get this thing to render on the page. And I've tried multiple different things on, how do I get this to work? Everything from giving it the bare minimum to giving it almost everything it could possibly take. And it still doesn't work. And I guess in this case, good enough is much better than perfect because there is no way I would have been able to finish this project in twelve weeks. And I recognize that now. And it was frustrating at times. But understanding that I did enough work so that someone else can pick it up and continue is pretty okay with me. I'm okay with the fact that good enough is much better than perfect. And this kind of reflects in other aspects, too, right? Yeah, you could sit there and polish every single tile in your floor to a mirror sheen, but also you're spending so much time on something that you could be spending on doing something else. So you might spend, like, 12 hours on the floor and not touch anything else. And that's kind of a waste, honestly. So good enough is better than perfect.

When I first came into the Navy, I maintained radio equipment on submarines. It was an important job, but I didn't really feel like it was a big challenge. But I thought I could make it challenging by just being the best at that and finding new ways to accomplish a job or be more efficient. And I've gone further in the Navy than I ever, ever fathomed, from a junior enlisted seaman to a captain in the Navy in 30 years. At each phase along the way, I had to pick, "What is my goal here? My goal is to be the best naval flight officer or to be the best department head." So we need to have an internal spotlight. We need to shine a light on ourselves and go, "Where do I need to improve?" If you're not improving, then you're just not moving forward. But at the same time, you can be so critical of yourself that you're actually holding yourself back. We're all talented. We all have special things that make us unique, and we all have something to offer the world. We just gotta go out there and offer it, but you have to do it in small steps. So I've always been one of these people that believes that you need to be thinking about the next challenge. It's good to reflect, but you have to be moving forward.

Yeah, I woke up early. I got this new haul of skincare products, like, yesterday. And so I was using them this morning. And that was crazy. My hands, I'm more fascinated by my hands than my face. Clearly, my face needs help, I feel like. But my hands, they were so smooth. It's like the difference between when you shake someone's hand and it's, like, super smooth or super dry. You can instantly tell. And it's like, super awkward. You're like, oh, dang, right? That's crazy, yeah. That was kind of like that. I really hope things work out skincare wise. My skin is not looking great at all. So I hope things look up in that aspect. But afterwards, I went to class. I was pleasantly surprised because the professor from my first class, it's a class that's, like, pretty treacherous. I dropped it too. Yeah, I dropped it twice. It was my third time trying to take it. But the professor, though, is actually one of my mentors for one of the classes that I've previously taken, and she is like a literal ball of energy that matches mine, which is like, totally great. So yeah, I'm really happy about that. Otherwise, I had another class. And then that was fun. The professor is real weird. He refers to everybody as, like, gang. He's just like, gang, blah, blah, blah, right? And it's like, oh, that's pretty funny. And then he also refers to himself in the third person. So he refers himself as, like, your faculty member or this professor or whatever, something like that. And it's just kind of funny. But yeah, I don't know. Overall, I like it, although I guess I haven't really interacted with many people. I guess I should have expected that anyways, for that matter. It just is what it is. It's just probably always going to be like this. Anyways, but otherwise it was a good first day. Yes.

I started out as a chemistry major at the University of Washington, and I didn't do very well in chemistry. It was really tough. I went to my advisor, and he said, "Well, of course, you're not doing very well. You know women do not belong in chemistry," and I was a freshman so I said, "Oh, okay." I went and changed my major, and I ended up as a biologist, but I think that what got me through is I really, really did want to be a scientist. I just had to tough it out because in the end, there isn't anything that anyone does that doesn't have its challenges, or its hard days, or its really difficult times. You have to figure out what it is that you wanna spend most of your time on so that most of your time there's something that really is rewarding going on. That gets you through the hard times.

So, when I was in elementary school, I was a very active kid and independent. I would run around the neighborhood and ring people's doorbells, ask my friends to play, and was not afraid to go and do these things by myself.\n\nI had a friend. I had several friends move away, but I had one friend in particular that moved away when I was in, I believe it was the fourth grade. And we had just recently completed this activity called Flat Stanley, where you sent this flat... we read this story about a boy who was flattened and was shipped all around to visit people. I can't remember the exact story, but what we did is we then would send the Flat Stanley to somebody.\n\nSo that made it me fascinated with this idea of mail. And so when my friend moved away in the fourth grade, we became pen pals, which was fun. And I remember being so excited to get these handwritten letters and how exciting it was to just send a letter off and be anticipating the next one coming back around. We could have called each other, but we were in fourth grade and the mail was much more exciting. And I just remember how excited I was to be able to get a piece of mail.

I was part of a military family. We moved a lot. I went to ten schools before I got out of high school. My family and the military community around us were part of my life. And also the Catholic church. At that time, for girls, the idea was if you weren't just gonna be a mom and a mother, there were really very few things you could do. You could be a nurse. You could be a teacher. And in my background, you could be a nun. I very quickly decided I wasn't gonna be a nun. I was 17. I'm just looking at the next four years. When I became involved in the Young Lawyers here in Denver, I certainly did not think that 28 years later I would become the president of the ABA. If you have passion for something, there's not such a thing as a 40-hour work week. I don't think I've ever done a 40-hour work week. Because I have so much fun doing what I do, it's just part of my life.

So today, I'd like to tell you about my friend Linda. Linda lived across the street from me many years ago, and then I moved. She moved across the street from me again, so we have lived near each other for the last 35 years, maybe. She is a very good person, a very religious person, and has been through a lot. She lost a son in a car accident, and another son has spina bifida and is confined to a wheelchair. She also has a daughter who has a lovely family and a wonderful career.

I work at a doctor's office and know all of the patients. I work with a lot of elderly people, and I remember their names, their family, and things like that. One of my patients, whom I love dearly, has been getting sicker and sicker. She has been diagnosed with cancer and has not been responding to treatment well. Recently, she has decided to stop with chemo and radiation because she doesn't want to spend the last few weeks of her life sick. It was a very hard decision for her to make, and for her family to accept. After she decided this, she came into the office, and we talked about what we could do for her. When she was in, she handed me a card and a small porcelain angel. She held my hand and told me she thought I was an angel sent from heaven to help her during such an awful time. She said I gave her so much kindness and love, and that I felt more like family to her than a nurse. I felt my heart break into pieces, but also I felt so loved and appreciated. This woman was going through such a terrible time, and she wanted to comfort me. I hugged her and told her she was my family too, and that I love her very much. We held hands during her appointment, and I didn't want to let her go. Now I go see her on my days off and always bring flowers and some sweet tea. It's her favorite.

All right? So, my story is that I got to catch up with my friend today. It was really nice talking about different trips we've taken in the past, other trips we might want to take in the future, and also just finding out the best way to plan for taking a trip with her because she has a baby. I'm friends with her husband, but it's different when you're single and you're figuring out how to hang out with your friends, go on trips with them when they aren't single. And it makes sense this time of my life. I mean, I've got friends that have kids going to college. I've got friends that have kids they just had. And of course, people like myself, like I was just mentioning. But it was really good. So, the story is that I met up with her for lunch. And she was telling me also about how she's going through IVF right now to get pregnant again. And so, that was also really interesting because I've gone through my own process of trying to cryogenically freeze my own eggs, which I've done in the past after my husband passed away. So, I have some experience in that, not in the implanting stage, the fertilization stage. But she's having to inject all these hormones into her right now, and I've gone through that and can commiserate. It can change you not just physically, but mentally too. So, it's good we can share different past experiences, whether it's her experience going to Sedona, or my experience with IVF. Just a lot to talk about. A lot of different kinds of topics. And she's a fun friend to discuss a lot of different topics with.

Three months ago, my life completely changed for the better. I never thought the day would come when I would become a mother. At the age of thirty-five and after years of trying to get pregnant and having two miscarriages, I had given up on having a child. My husband and I were looking into adopting, but the process seemed pretty hard and there were no guarantees. In the end, I got pregnant out of nowhere and I was shocked to my core when I found out that I was pregnant and I was two months along. The fetus appeared healthy and I was on my way to becoming a mother. Three months ago, my daughter was born; a healthy 7 pound 3 oz. No one or nothing could have prepared me for the profound love I have for my daughter, and I feel so lucky to have the opportunity to be a mother to my sweet girl. I love her so much, and my husband and I are so very happy. We can't wait to see what the future holds, and we are secretly hoping to be blessed with another child. The changes in our lives have been mostly positive and some negatives. The positives are having our child and being able to make lifelong memories with her. Our families have been great throughout my pregnancy, and they have been so helpful in the last couple of months. On the other hand, the negatives are not getting enough sleep. I feel tired and excited most of the time, and there are times when I doze off every chance I get. The worry for our child is horrible at times, and it's a major drawback for us because in the back of our minds, we feel like this beautiful experience might not last and can be easily taken away from us.

All right, so I wanted to share about my childhood trauma. So I picked this topic to discuss with you because the experience we have as a child shapes who we are as an adult. Also, internally, I think we all still have, we are still children inside, although we look like we're grown up. I think the internal development happens rather slowly than the outside development. So in that case, I think it's really important to understand in order to understand myself, I wanted to go over my childhood experience and some stories that I still vividly remember.\n\nSo one of the things that I wanted to share with you is when I was like five or six years old, I went to ballet school almost every day. And I took the school bus to commute to the ballet school. And to my young eyes, the distance seemed pretty short. I think it took about ten minutes to commute from my home to the ballet school. And I went to ballet school like I said, almost every day. And I would always look out the window and look at the streets. So to me, I was pretty confident that I could find my way back home without taking the school bus. So I guess as a young child, I was pretty brave and adventurous. So, I decided to walk home without taking the school bus. \n\nSo I started my adventure. And then obviously, like ten minutes by bus, I guess it probably would take more than 35 or 40 minutes by walk. But since I was only five or six, it would have taken more than an hour or so. Obviously, starting at a certain point, I realized that I got lost because all the streets looked unfamiliar and I guess the road started to become much wider. I guess so. I guess I was starting to enter almost like a highway. Because I remember the cars were running really fast and there were so many cars. And the sidewalk was pretty narrow, even to kids like me. So I realized that I got screwed, and I didn't know what to do. So I started to cry. I was hoping that someone would come and help me out but it seemed like the cars were running pretty fast on the road and nobody was reaching out to help me. \n\nSo I don't know how long it took, but I cried and cried and I was just keep walking straight and then suddenly a car pulled off and I still remember this scene but the window went down and a guy asked me, Are you okay? Are you lost? And I was even scared of the person. But in the back of the seat, there was heat. It was about the same age as I was so I think looking at him made me feel much more comfortable speaking with him. So I said, Oh, yeah? I got lost. And I was still crying so hard and I couldn't stop crying because I was so scared. So thankfully, he took me into his car. And he took me to the police station. And from then on, the police took me home because I remembered the apartment names and all that kind of thing. So, thankfully, I went back home safely.\n\nBut I wanted to share this story because it kind of reflected my personality, which I think I still have, and sort of a pattern that I have in my life. So I guess I'm pretty brave and I'm not afraid of trying something new. However, I could underestimate stuff easily. And then, if I face a problem (I mean, I'm talking about me as a young kid), if I face a problem, I would not actively try to solve the problem like asking people for help, but I would just wait until people reach out to me and help me out. So as a young kid, I think that kind of worked because people, thankfully, helped me out and I found my way back home. But a lot of things, these kinds of patterns happened until I was in my early twenties and mid-twenties, I wouldn't actively try to find solutions. But I realized at a certain point that being scared and panicking doesn't help, and I should be more actively proactive in finding a solution on my own. So yeah, I guess I think that's the difference from me as an adult and me as a young kid.

I entered foster care when I was about three and a half years old. During that time, I had 14 different foster homes. I wasn't always placed in the most ideal circumstances. These were people who had problems with drugs, alcohol, violence, pedophilia. So I had this sense of, I've gotta do something. I've gotta say something, this is not okay, and that kept eating at me. That's the motivation that kept me from turning to drugs, or running away, or becoming part of that statistic, that label that they expected of me. I had to do something differently. And so all of that gave me this perspective that it's not enough to complain about something if you're not willing to be a part of the solution. So a really big sticking point for me was that I'm not just going to walk around complaining about foster care or complaining about this system of care that's not protecting kids. I wanna be directly involved in the very system that failed me so that I can make it better. And I ultimately opened a non-profit organization that provides direct services to children and families. So all of my experiences kind of led me to serving others in a way that I wish I had been served when I was a young person.

All right, this is something that happened to me when I was around ten years old. I have a little sister, and it was her first day of kindergarten. We went to elementary school right across the street from our house, so it was my job to walk her to school and then wait for her and walk her back home, even though we\'re just not even a block away.\n\nSo, the first day of school, she went to kindergarten, and I went to fifth grade. And when the day was over, I totally forgot about her. So, I came home alone, and my mother saw me and asked, "Where\'s Lori?" I was filled with absolute horror, tore back across the street, and found my sister standing on the steps of the school, just really upset.\n\nShe could have walked home herself, of course, but she was supposed to wait for me. And she was actually surrounded by teachers who were trying to console her that her big sister forgot about her. I was filled with simultaneous guilt, relief, and horror. And I have never forgotten that moment.

This week, my son started first grade. He is the youngest of all my children and the only boy. He was in kindergarten last year, and that was hard for me as well, as I had to come to terms with the fact that he was growing up and wasn't my little baby anymore. However, it was only kindergarten, so he still felt like a "baby" to me. This year, however, he is noticeably older and more grown up. As he walked down the street towards the bus on his first day of first grade, he looked like a "big kid" instead of my little baby. It made me both happy and sad, as he is becoming such a wonderful young man, yet at the same time, my little baby no longer is little (This is also evident as his clothes from last year are too small. Last year they were too big). Most surprisingly, he wasn't scared or nervous this year. At the start of kindergarten last year, he cried and begged me to stay home. I really wanted to keep him home as well! This year, he didn't cry for me or try to run back home for another hug. I was glad he was feeling more independent, but part of me wished he needed me more. My little man is growing up so fast. I wish I could turn back the time and keep him my baby forever. Although I cannot, he will still always be "mama's baby."

One, so I think it is just like one of the things. That. What was that? Like? I was talking to some other girl, and she was like, she was getting concerned about it. That, why do you talk? And then I told her something that happened a day before, and she was like, "Why didn\'t you tell me yesterday?" And at the time it happened. So she just said like whatever has happened, like she wants to know at that moment and that second. But given that everyone is busy, if I tell her anything beyond a day, she feels like, okay, that is something you\'re telling. I think she misses acknowledging the fact that she got to know from me, and she delves into the part that, "oh, I missed something knowing yesterday." And then I am hiding other things as well, and she feels that she\'s not getting to know the entire thing.

I have a friend B who I have known for around a year now, and her mom is the worst person I have ever met. Here are just some of the things she has done that really pissed me off. B tells her mom everything. And then her mom tells my mom everything. Now my mother knows all about my problems, worries, and wishes. She constantly annoys both me and my family by shoving B's grades and school stuff in our faces. When B does something that I forgot/didn't do, she mentions it whenever she can. On a call? Meeting in real life? She has to bring it up. She forced me to study with B many times, even when I already knew everything. She humiliated me in front of family many times. She acts like I'm a dumb child. It might seem like I'm overreacting, but she has done this so many times. So I cut all contact with her. I stopped texting her, I told B to not tell her a word about me, I stopped showing up when we had to meet, and I stopped answering her calls. It felt great, it felt like I was finally free again, and it's the best feeling I have ever felt, and I don't regret a thing.

And yeah, actually, it kind of has to do with the same reveal. Like that class, I guess. I guess I just kind of feel a little bit disconnected, disconnected from the people in my major. I guess the whole thing was really fun, right? And it was definitely a once-in-a-lifetime kind of experience, was the same reveal. But I was just kind of sitting in the corner, like by myself. There were people that I knew, but they weren\'t sitting next to me and things like that. And I think I feel pretty isolated from the people in my major because I took a lot of my classes at different times from them. And I\'m also more of a solo worker. I guess a lot of things just happen over all the years, and it\'s just kind of like, "Oh, it\'s just me. I don\'t really seem to know that many people in my major." And so later on, I had another class. It was a leadership class. And then I hadn\'t met these two people before, and I was asking them what their major was. And they were in the same major as me, and they were also taking the same class, and we were in the same year. And I was like, "Wow, I\'ve never seen you guys before, right?" But then at this point, it\'s like, why should I be surprised? I don\'t know a lot of people in my major. This is just kind of like a disconnect, I guess. And I think that kind of prevented me from really enjoying that same reveal as much as it was special. It definitely was special. It\'s just that it\'s just kind of like that bittersweet thing, right? It\'s like I\'m enjoying it, but alone. It bothers me, but it also does it because I\'m used to it. Although I guess being used to it isn\'t the same thing as not being bothered by it. Yeah, kind of at the end of the day, it\'s probably just struggles, actually. At this point in the class, it really does feel like I\'m the only person that sits alone in every single classroom that you usually go to, right? It\'s like, yeah, there\'s these few people. Not few, there\'s quite a lot who just kind of sit alone in their little spots. And then it\'s all throughout the year, right? They\'re just kind of there for class, and then they go. They don\'t really ever really talk to other people. It\'s in the minority. They exist. But I think in that class, it definitely just feels like a "me" thing because all these people know each other. And I don\'t know, I don\'t know if there\'s something wrong that I do. There was this one person that was in one of my classes from last semester, and she thought we got along pretty well. She was also here over the summer. And we decided to hang out early on in the summer, go watch the Spiderverse movie. And so, like, afterwards, we were all like, "Yeah, throughout the summer, we should, like, hang out on most weekends because, from my understanding, I was like, \'Oh, we didn\'t have many summer plans, and we wanted to go do stuff, right? Like, going to the beach, go to McDonald\'s and things like that, right?" Thought we had gotten pretty close, but then after that, it\'s just like I texted her. She responded. A few times, and then after a while, she just started ghosting me, right? And how I know that is like, well, she basically stopped responding, right? After a while, after that initial lack of responses, I maybe sent, like, a message, like, once a month or something like that. And I was just kind of like, "Hey, are you okay? Like, a little check-in. How have you been?" And never got a response. And eventually, towards the end of the summer, I was just worried at that point, right? I was just worried. Like, did she get kidnapped? Is she okay? But I haven\'t heard anything from the school news, so she should be fine. But yeah, I was getting genuinely worried about her. It\'s like I\'ve lost contact with this person, and I don\'t know if she\'s okay or not, right? So she never responded. But how I found out that she\'s fine is that she\'s in that class that I\'m taking now and, though I haven\'t personally seen her yet, I missed the first lecture for another class because there was a class conflict. So I got to watch the lecture recording, and she was in the recording, right? Because they were essentially recording the students and all of their reactions and stuff, right? As part of the whole thing. And yeah, like, she was there. So she was fine. I know that. She and, I don\'t know, but it\'s probably 99% certain that she ghosted me because I contacted her on different platforms. And I guess it\'s just kind of like, maybe it\'s me that\'s weird, that just people don\'t want to be around, probably with my behaviors or something like that. I don\'t know. But yeah, summary is I guess I just struggle socially. I don\'t know what it is that I do. I guess I wouldn\'t say that I normally talk to people. It\'s conventional by any means. Like small talk comes to me pretty hard, I\'d say. But whatever it is, yeah, I don\'t know how to conclude that, but thanks for listening.

I'm really excited to do the course and experience all the content, but it was such a weird, awful day. It feels like everyone is 18 or 19 and just finished their A Levels. I feel so out of place. We had to walk around the campus in groups of 4 or so and take pictures to make sure we knew where everything was, but I could barely talk to my arbitrary group. We had nothing in common. The rest of the group left me before we properly finished. One with a friend from their old school, and the other two just walked away without acknowledging me shortly after and didn't seem to care if they finished the task or not. When we got back to the full class at the end of the day, everyone shared their photos and every other group looked like they had a really good time, spent time on their photos and all that. I really wanted to get some good ones, but it felt like my group just wanted to get it done with and do something else. I have horrible anxiety, and it's taken a lot to even start the course, and I've left the day wishing I didn't have to spend time with people at all. I don't fit in. I'm too old. I've done all the uni stuff before and dropped out, so I couldn't feel the same about all the new experiences everyone was having. I feel weird speaking to these people as the peers that they are because I'm 5 years older. I'm excited to study the content, but the first day was awful, and I don't know how to feel. I'm not going to stop going, but a full year of not fitting in because I sat at the wrong table on day one feels like it's looming. I need to get this out and feel like I'm talking to someone, but I can't really tell many people in my real life. I just hope it gets better.

All right, so I wanted to talk about my pack. The experience that I had with my pets. I think pets are a very important part of my adolescence and my childhood. Now, I don\'t have pets anymore. I mean, I\'m now more of a plant person. But when I was young, I had birds, hamsters, and dogs. So, I really loved animals as a young kid and young adolescent and especially today. I want to talk about my first pet, which was a dog. I think the first experience is very meaningful because you are doing it for the first time, so it\'s very special. And also, it\'s more likely that you\'ll make a lot of mistakes, so it\'s likely that you will remember it longer due to, maybe, you may have some regrets. You could do it better if you think back or something like that. So anyways, I think first experience is very important. So, I\'ll share a story about how I had my first talk. So when I was nine years old, about nine years old, it was a summer day, one summer day, and it was late in the evening. I don\'t know why, but I was heading out to do something and it was very rainy. The rain was pouring. It was raining heavily at the moment. And so I took my umbrella and I headed out from home. I lived in an apartment at the time and I was in the lobby. I mean, the elevator opened and as soon as the elevator opened, I saw a wet dog, a little dog. It was soaked in the rain. And it was small, but it looked poor. It was shaking because of the cold and was so wet, and it didn\'t move. It didn\'t move and it just kept making eye contact with me. So I was immediately like, "Oh my gosh, I have to run back and bring a dry towel or something." So I took the elevator back to my home again and I was thinking, "Oh my gosh, I hope the dog doesn\'t go away." So I went back home and I brought a dry towel. Thankfully, the dog was still there. It was still shaky, but it looked so meek. So I slowly approached it and I wrapped the dog with a dry towel. It didn\'t move or resist or bark or anything. I pet the dog and I looked into its eyes. It was so cute and so poor. So I wanted to bring the dog back home. But I knew that at the time, my mom didn\'t like dogs because she never had a dog before. And I asked her several times before that moment, but she said no, we cannot have dogs. So I was worried. But I brought the dog back home anyway because I didn\'t have any other choice. I don\'t remember her reaction at the time, but we decided to keep the dog. And then I was in elementary school, first and second year. I started to build a bond with my first dog. I would bring.\n\nIn front of the school, they sell junk foods like candies or jellies or whatnot. I now am knowledgeable about how bad it is, how bad junk foods are for dogs. But at the time, I didn\'t have that kind of knowledge. So I would just buy all kinds of junk foods like candies, jellies, snacks. And then I would bring them back home and I\'ll feed the dog. But there was a very joyful moment. And I would go out with the dog and I was very happy to have the dog. It was like the dog was my very good friend. So I think, I don\'t know how many months later, but the dog started to grow. And also, my mom was sick at the time, so she mostly spent her time in bed. And the dog started to make some kind of mess. The dog, I guess, was in the adolescent phase, so it started to mess around the house. It would pee here and there and it would chew the furniture. So my mom was starting to get annoyed. And then one day, when I returned from school with junk foods, I realized the dog was missing. So I asked my mom and she told me that she sent the dog to one of our relatives who had a dog and lived in a house, not an apartment, and where there was a big yard. So she sent the dog to their family. So I was like, she didn\'t even ask me before she sent it off. So I was crying all day long. Obviously, I was so angry and so sad. But since she said she told me that we can always go visit the dog because the dog was at our relative\'s house. And then I think, like, a week later, she told me that the dog ran away from their family and now the dog is missing. So my last hope was gone. I was hoping that I would go visit their family and reunite with the dog. But now the dog had run away from that house. And it kind of stuck. And I always kind of thought that the dog will find a way back to me. I would always imagine or expect that thought. I was so smart that he might be able to find a way. So before I go to bed, I would pray like, "Oh my gosh, please let the dog find a way to my apartment." But that never happened. And as a young kid, I would always think, "What happened to my first dog?"

My daughter and I took a trip to California. She read online about the train going down to California. It was highly romanticized, but it did look nice. We got a sleeper car and looked at the scenery. It surprised me that the food was so good. However, one of the really surprising things was the people we met. When they seat you at dinner, they put you with strangers, so there is a formality of introducing yourself and telling your travel story. The stories were so interesting, and my daughter and I could not stop talking about them. In our divided country, meeting all these people from different areas of the country, politics was not mentioned once. It was really amazing. One person was nearly 94, but he appeared to be in his seventies. One couple was from the Philippines. One man was laid off and took a low-end job, and he admitted that his parents were supporting him. There was such a raw emotional quality to the dinner stories that my daughter and I kept talking about them and how emotional it felt about our story. Because with each story we heard, we had to tell the person our story. We had to tell our hopes and dreams and failures, and it became very raw and personal. Previous to this trip, my daughter and I had not been very close. This was making me a little sad because we used to be very close. But through the rawness and honesty of the stories we heard, she began telling me things that she had been hiding from me. What's more, she really wanted to know things that I don't tell her or tell my husband. It was so surprising because normally if you found out you had to eat dinner with a stranger, you would not be happy. Yet through the stories of strangers, I feel closer and more focused than ever. When she was little, we were so close. However, as she became a teenager, we had a more strained relationship. But after this trip, we are as close as ever.

So yeah, so over the weekend, I not only went to get the furniture, but I also went to get some oven mitts. And it was just a really nice experience overall because I got them from Buy Nothing, which is like a site or a group on Facebook to find free things. And so, I got these oven mitts. But then the lady and I were communicating a lot. She wanted one of the candles that I was giving away. And I wanted the mitts. So, I was able to take her the candle. And she left me the mitts. And she really enjoyed the smell of the candle and stuff. We had a really nice and sweet interaction.

I really love making people happy, and I love using power tools and stuff. So obviously, I was really happy when my flatmates asked me if I could drill some holes in their wall to fix a wardrobe that would otherwise fall over if the doors are open. They borrowed a drill, got some dowels and screws, and I got to screw around with some nice power tools. I feel honored that they trust me to do this. After the wardrobe was fixed to the wall, I went back to my little crafting table. All Christmas gifts this year will be handmade by me. I'm making a gift for a friend, and I spent some time on cutting, sanding, gluing, and painting this little thing, and today I pre-drew the outlines of the last bit I need to paint on both sides and finished painting one side. I can't wait for his reaction when I give it to him!

Okay. So it\'s not really a happy story to tell right now, but I guess I\'ve just been feeling a little overwhelmed. With the current situation, Israel and Palestine in terms of the current war that Israel is waging on Palestine. Yeah, I guess I just wanted to talk about the overall lack of sense of power that I have, which is... I don\'t know. I just feel like I have such little power to do any change and it kind of really just sucks. I feel like the situation just overall really sucks because when I came to the war in Ukraine and Russia, everyone was on the side of Ukraine. They\'re like, "Okay, defend your land. Protect yourself. Your heritage." Vladimir Putin is like the obvious... like the villain. It was very like media always can support of Ukraine, so many countries with Puerto, Ukraine and their sovereignty. And then when it comes to Israel and Palestine, I feel like a sense of loss. I don\'t know, like a mind warp. Because media is sharing one side of the story. So like news, popular news outlets are showing how vulnerable Israel is and how they\'re the victim. But then what you\'ll see on the ground, like a lot of social media, I follow in Palestine and have been following for years. I didn\'t really note too much about Palestine and Israel, but I knew a little bit because I was already following creators that talked about the Palestinian cause. And I guess I\'m just... like baffled at how the media paints one picture of Israel, and then the underground roots of people who are talking and organizing show a completely different side of the story. They definitely show like Palestinians are the vulnerable population. They\'re the ones who like hospitals are being bombed with civilians are being hurt. I guess I\'m just trying to grapple with the mind fuck of it all of Western media showing Israel as like they\'re the ones defending themselves as retaliation. But... it\'s an overkill like in the literal sense. Israel has just been bombing Gaza. Nonstop. And the people there have no refuge from it. And the fact that Israel is actually committing war crimes, like bombing hospitals, bombing safe zones, cutting off power supplies. I guess the final final straw for me where I\'m like, "Oh my God, I guess..." The final point of despair. Like I was already slowly sinking into the form of despair. Of, like, "Wow. Israel is bombing hospitals like they\'re not letting humanitarian aid in." It was like all these... big things Israel was doing that were like little stabs in my heart, I don\'t know, or like in my sanity I don\'t know. I already felt the pain little by little, and I\'m very detached from it like I don\'t have much emotional connection to the region or to its unique problems. But... the more and more I kept hearing about things happening with Israel, the more I was like, "Oh my God, this is bad." But I think the final final straw, where I\'m literally like, "Yeah, I need to be calling representatives. I need to be emailing and sending letters." The final drive for me was that Israel completely bombed and decimated service to the area. So now, like Palestinians and people in Gaza, or at least people in Gaza literally cannot call anyone like they can\'t call. They can\'t text. They have no access to Internet. Like all the news outlets reporting from there have no cell service. I don\'t know how it happened. And I think that\'s the final straw for me where I\'m like, "You literally cut off the last source of communication we have to people on the ground, people who are worrying about their families, people who are worrying about their friends. And these are war crimes. And I just feel like baffled, like we\'re not doing anything about it. The international community is completely failing people in Gaza. It is such a stark contrast from what was happening in Ukraine, how people were sending money in Ukraine, people were like, "I\'ll host you. I\'ll give you refuge in my home." And it\'s like, the complete opposite. And I really don\'t understand how or why. I\'m just baffled. I\'m also like, yeah, I think people see this as like a righteous religious war to some extent, like some people, I think. I don\'t know, that\'s like my very limited take on it. That people see as like, "Oh, Israel, Christianity versus Muslims." And then I don\'t know. I feel like that\'s to some extent, some of the comments I\'ve seen, but I\'m just like, how are we okay with this super powerful country or, now in the comparison like super powerful country completely obliterating another one. How are we as a society okay when someone who holds so much power is okay to take it out on someone who holds so little, like a big guy beating up a little kid. Like how? I\'m just, like, amazed. I don\'t know, amazed. Just baffled that we\'re okay with this. And there\'s really nothing I can do because like the US backs Israel. So I feel like I have no power. I\'m one person, one person who doesn\'t have money. I don\'t have power. I don\'t have money. I don\'t have influence. First Gen in this country. I have almost nothing to my name. What power do I really have to help in this fight? I\'m at a loss. And the most I can do is share posts on social media, and even then, that makes me a little anxious about... the amount of common people have. But I just repost a couple of things here and there. But I\'m like, what good is it? Or like, I try to talk to my parents or to people around me. Let them know, like, this is the other side. Yeah, the media. Western media... is painting it this way. But these are like actual videos and testimonies I\'ve seen from people on the ground. I just feel so helpless, helpless, and hopeless. And it\'s such a complete, stark contrast from Ukraine and Russia. Like so huge. I don\'t even know what to do with this information. And I guess like a part of it, because I feel like I think when it comes to me, whenever I worry about something bigger than myself, it\'s usually... Like a sign of some insecurity. No. Okay. I get you. Like, okay. I realized that whenever I\'m nervous or scared about something way bigger than myself, it\'s usually a reflection of a vulnerability or insecurity I have of myself. In relation to myself. And I think I just come to realize that the US doesn\'t care about its citizens. It doesn\'t care about... I hate think about money and I already knew that. But this is another example where I\'m like, wow, I am a citizen of this country. I\'m paying taxes to this country. I want the best for the people in the country. But the reality is the government, the establishment, people who have power and money don\'t care about me. They don\'t care about people who don\'t have power, who don\'t have influence. They don\'t have money. They don\'t care about... its citizens. It just cares about the bottom line and the profit. I keep thinking about the hostages in Gaza who can\'t leave. I guess Israel too. I don\'t know about that. I don\'t know what the fuck Israel is doing, but I just keep thinking about American citizens and residents stuck in Gaza, and like me growing up and being told that American passport, so powerful, so privileged, like the US people don\'t mess with Americans abroad or anything. Because yeah, because it\'s like the US will get involved. And I\'m like, this is such bullshit. Like I was just fed lies. Growing up. The US isn\'t too shit for its citizens when it comes down to money. Or like when it comes down to money and prestige versus the safety of a people, the institutions don\'t give a fuck. So... Yeah. So I guess I\'m just like, these are all the feelings I\'m grappling with. I have so little power in comparison to this giant ass award as being waged. People don\'t give a shit about minorities. I don\'t know, like non-white minorities. Non-White citizens. People, residents. And that the State truly does not care for your well-being. At least the US doesn\'t. So I guess it just makes me hopeless. So yeah, that\'s what I\'ve been grappling with the last couple of days, weeks. And I don\'t know what to do with this.

I got shot in June 2007. I took a bullet side-to-side through the knee on a house raid, so it basically blew my knee out. Everything that I wanted to do or I wanted to be revolved around being a soldier. So I struggled. What do you see most on social media and on the news? You see PTSD, suicide, all these veterans struggling, that's the trendy story. But we need to change that rhetoric. Instead of talking about all these bad things, talk about the positive things, the things that we learn, that we are capable of, that make us great. Instead of cowering from challenges, we learn to face our fears, we learn to face those obstacles, and so use those things we learned in the military to not just live in the civilian world but thrive.

Right now, I want to tell you a story that I anticipate happening today. It is a beautiful day, and my son and his three children are coming to stay for the weekend while the mom of that family goes to see the US Open. And I'm excited to have my grandkids stay here. They love to play in the bedrooms where there are doll houses and plastic Easter eggs, which charms my little three year old for some reason that I don't really understand. But she loves just taking the eggs in and out of the basket. And I love to prepare for them coming by making special treats for them and thinking about activities that we can do. And one of the things we're going to do is tomorrow, we'll go up to Gina's house, my daughter, who has a pool. And that'll be fun for everybody. My youngest granddaughter is three, and she's been taking swimming lessons for two years. And she is an unbelievable underwater swimmer. So it'll be fun to watch her. We color the fish. So my story, really this time, is the anticipatory story. But maybe the next one I have will be reflecting on this, probably while they're here. I probably won't chitchat with you much.

I just got back from a vacation, and as is often said, I need a vacation from my vacation now! My husband and I went with my brother, sister-in-law, their nineteen-month-old, and our two kids, who are 15 months and 3. It was QUITE an experience. We stayed in a lovely rental house in Rosemary Beach, about an hour from Destin. The drive was not too bad, about five hours from our home, but it was long enough with small children in the car. I was nervous about this trip because it was our first family vacation, and I have a hard time managing my two strong-willed children, especially when they are together. Sure enough, by Day 2, I was exhausted. I had to carry my youngest on my hip probably ninety percent of the time, even including when we were at home. He woke up at 5:30 AM every morning, so I was forced to do so as well. We engaged in a variety of activities, including souvenir shopping, visiting the community pool, going to the beach, and watching a bottlenose dolphin show at an aquarium. Probably my favorite thing we did was go to a natural spring that wasn't far from where we were staying. The water was a beautiful aquamarine and clear as it could be. The only problem was it was COLD! We had a blast wading and swimming a bit, and just enjoying the beautiful scenery. Although it was hard to keep both kids organized and happy, it was a memorable experience and one that I'll not soon forget. It was wonderful to have time to spend with them and also with my brother and his family. They are very dear to us.