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Now, the e-commerce giant already has a pay-per-visit 24-7 telehealth service
called Amazon Clinic,
but they craved more.
So they casually spent $3.9 billion earlier this year
to acquire primary care provider One Medical.
With this acquisition and its previous buyout of Whole Foods,
Amazon now controls sources of food and medicine.
Two things literally we can't live without.
Perhaps Amazon will get into the oxygen business next,
buy a bunch of land covered in trees,
call it the Amazon Forest,
and then sue South America for copyright infringement.
You did good today, sport.
Come on,
let's get you some Quick Bits.
A federal judge has dismissed a class action lawsuit
alleging that Honda, General Motors, Toyota, and Volkswagen
violated Washington state privacy laws
by using their onboard infotainment systems
to intercept, record, and download text messages and call logs.
Not because the judge determined they weren't collecting that information.
In fact, they still are.
It's because the law requires proof
that plaintiff's reputations, personal safety, and businesses were threatened.
Look, just because your neighbor is standing outside your bedroom window with a camera
doesn't mean he's doing anything wrong, right?
Prove it.
Omegle, the randomized chat service best known
for sketchy interactions between minors and adult strangers,
is shutting down after settling a lawsuit
alleging sketchy interactions between minors and adult strangers.
It's the end of an era.
I was one of those adult strangers.
Just kidding.
For the past 14 years,
Omegle has been a popular source of entertainment,
viral YouTube videos, and emotional trauma.
The site was originally envisioned as a way to use the wide open nature of the internet
to connect its users to new and varied ideas and experiences,
something it achieved arguably too well.
The ongoing Epic trial has revealed how much money Google has given potential competitors
to convince them to launch their games on the Play Store.
Activision Blizzard was given $360 million
for all their games in 2020,
and Epic turned down $147 million for Fortnite,
opting instead to launch the Android version
through its own website back in 2018.
20 other developers were offered similar deals in 2019
as part of Google's Project Hug.
Bear hug.
Google even cut special deals with Netflix and Spotify.
I used to pride myself on the quality of my hugs,
but now I just feel inferior.
How can I even cuddle my wife anymore?
Qualcomm and its partner Iridium announced an end to Snapdragon Satellite,
the satellite communication service for Android that never even launched.
Originally announced in January
with a promise of being Apple's emergency SOS via satellite, but better,
it seems smartphone manufacturers elected not to include the technology in their devices.
Iridium says they'll try to partner with smartphone OEMs and other chip makers,
but for now,
we'll have to deal with Tim Cook's stupid smug face,
handsome jerk.
Oh, you don't have satellite?
Well, that sucks for you.
Barbara, let's go.
And you've heard of Apple TV+, Disney+, and Paramount+.
Get ready for NASA+.
The streaming service recently launched by the space agency of the same name.
It's available on Android, iOS, and many smart TVs,
and offers award-winning original series ad-free
for the low cost of actually nothing.
It's actually free.
It's completely free.
But like, if you wanted to convince your local representatives
to give them more money to the Artemis program,
no pressure at all.
It's just Prada spacesuits don't grow on trees, you know?
And neither does tech news.
So make sure you come back on Monday for another hearty helping.
We'll make it with love and just a sous-son of sarcasm.
It gives
it more body.
Uh, you came here because you want tech news,
and I know that.
And that's why I have that ready for,
I have it ready for you right here.
It's just, one second.
Apple doesn't want to allow iPhone users
to install apps from outside of the app store, AKA side loading,
but according to Mark Gurm's together strong Gurman,
the company looks like it's doing the tech giant equivalent
of gritting its teeth and wincing in anticipation
of getting a very painful temporary tattoo.
See, the EU's Digital Market Act requires gatekeeper companies like Google and Apple
to open up their software ecosystems by March, 2024.
The Gurman, financial filings from Apple,
as well as code found in the iOS 17.2 beta,
all point to Apple preparing to allow side loading on iPhones before that deadline,
so in the next few months.