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The two companies plan to build a multi-platform AI tool set for games |
that will include, shocker, |
an AI copilot to assist with development |
and an AI character runtime engine |
that will allow you to import AI characters into any game client |
from Unreal Engine 5 to Roblox. |
Is it also called Copilot 365? |
Cause I've had enough. |
How many copilots can you have until they're just crew members? |
We're all piloting together. |
Now developers of all ages can hire the worst voice actors for their games. |
Western Digital is splitting up their flash and hard drive businesses |
into two independent companies, |
but that doesn't mean they love you any less than they did before. |
Just a number. |
It seems that Western Digital's flash company has been suffering from demand shortage, |
which is a funny way of saying no one wants it. |
And since they couldn't get Kioxia to give them a place to stay and regular business, |
WD is kicking out their two-time and flash segment |
and increasing their own stock prices by 10% for the trouble. |
However, there has been no word on how this will affect alimony payments. |
Attendees at ApeFest, |
the Bored Ape Yacht Club's annual NFT event in Hong Kong, |
reported severe eye pain, visual impairment, |
and skin damage similar to sunburns after the event. |
While it's tempting to assume that Zeus Almighty finally did something about crypto, |
this parallels a previous incident in Hong Kong in 2017, |
where contractors installed disinfecting UV lights instead of stage lights, |
leading to an effect similar to staring into the sun. |
Organizers claimed that fewer than 1% of attendees were affected, |
only to get roasted by an ophthalmologist |
for blasting ultraviolet light directly into people's faces |
and destroying their corneas. |
Don't worry, apes. |
The doctor says it'll grow back. |
You can look at more stupid variations of the same image in the future. |
And we promise fewer than 0.1% of you will be blinded |
if you come back on Wednesday for more tech news. |
Hey, those are pretty good odds. |
I mean, not every channel can say that. |
Yes, you did come here for tech news, |
but you'll leave with something even more precious. |
This image in your mind. |
Ah ha ha ha ha, please, no applause. |
It's my pleasure. |
Google's plans to control the web are running into a couple snags |
from haters who are just mad they didn't start their own tech giant. |
The company has responded to merciless criticism |
of its proposed Web Environment Integrity API for Chrome, |
deemed a DRM for websites, |
and is shelving it in favor of the much different |
Android WebView Media Integrity API, |
which will apparently be much narrower in scope. |
Of course, the reason it doesn't need to be broader |
is because Android already has environmental attestation |
and uses its Play Integrity API to scan users' phones for root privileges. |
So what's a few more scans among friends? |
The new API could be used to block malicious apps and malware, |
but it could also prevent the rise of more apps like the now dead Vanced, |
which gave regular YouTube users premium features like ad-free videos and a good time. |
But Google's crusade against ad blockers might cause legal trouble in the EU. |
Privacy experts like Alexander Hanf claim that |
YouTube's anti-ad blocker measures violate Article 5.3 of EU's e-Privacy Directive, |
meaning that after forcing Apple to change their whole closed ecosystem, shtick, |
Europe might set its sights on Google next. |
As if the tech giant hasn't had enough controversy, |
they're also integrating generative AI into their advertiser tools |
because spam art is what ads need more of, |
and testing YouChat, |
a YouTube chatbot that users can ask about the video they're watching, |
because who has time to actually watch videos when there's all these AI toys to play with? |
I mean, I always read the comments. |
Basically the same thing. |
YouTube is also considering an AI feature that summarizes large comment sections, |
a handy feature for creators to figure out what their subscribers are talking about at a glance, |
though judging by our comment section, |
the overall effect will be like a supportive mom who's been possessed by a demon. |
You're doing great, sweetie. |
I hate your beard. |
Take a shower. |
Anyway, love you. |
A judge recently unsealed an amended FTC privacy complaint against Kochava, |
the world's largest mobile data broker, |
revealing disturbing allegations |
that the company has collected and sells a staggering amount of sensitive information |
that is linked or easily linkable to specific individuals. |
The original FTC lawsuit was blocked back in May |
because the complaint didn't provide enough evidence, |
but now apparently they're back with the goods and, ooh boy, it is spicy. |
Muy picante. |
According to the FTC, |
Cochava sells data including personal information |
like names, addresses, phone numbers, |
and precise geolocation within a few meters, |
but also demographic information |
like race, gender, annual income, political affiliation, religion, and... |
pregnancy status. |
I didn't have another finger. |
Kochava customers, who are hopefully just advertisers, |
could easily trace an individual's movements from their home to their work, |