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jingjietan

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sdcnl-suicide

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Just feels right yknow? Like I'd leave on my terms. Like I'd leave alone. Haven't had a solid friend. They all begin to take you for granted eventually, you can be their rock n all, it doesn't matter. It's made more sense being alone. I even know how I'll go out. Till then I'll make art, I'll tell stories. But when i can't be strong someday, I'll be glad to off myself. Why is it this hard to make a friend

​ My girlfriend wrote me this letter and agreed to share it here... ​ Letter to my depressed lover. I see you. I know you’re in there. The man who loved and sought joy, the man who felt deserving of happiness. He is blindfolded, held hostage, cold and chained in a windowless basement, by a tyrant who thrives off suffering. At times it feels like there is no hope, at times it feels like there is no escape. You are weakened, the exhaustion has taken over your body, your mind and your soul, you question whether you’ll ever be strong enough to fight this mighty tyrant, to escape from his grip, out of the darkness. Will you ever be able to feel the sun stroking your skin again? Will you ever see the light again? Will you ever feel love again? Why are you here? How did you get here? You never asked for this, no one would. A tyrant is an illegitimate ruler who controls through oppression. Tyranny is not fair, it is not understanding, and it is cruel. The tyrant wants to weaken you until you have no choice but to succumb, he will brainwash you until you come to terms with his reign, until you are no longer a threat to him. The tyrant wants you to think that he is too strong to ever beat, too mighty to outthink, too present to escape. But let me tell you something about Tyrants. Anger, hate, always stems from fear, and pain. Behind every tyrant is a hurt child. Behind every tyrant is a voice that was once unheard, a heart that was once broken, eyes that were once blinded. The tyrant doesn’t want you to see the light, because the light was once taken from him, he doesn’t want you to know love, because love was once taken from him, and he wants you to hurt, because he hurts. But how can tyranny be defeated? When tyranny is defeated by force, it often just paves the way for another form of tyranny. You don’t want to kill your tyrant, you’ll be left with blood on your hands and trauma in your soul, if you kill you’ll have to hide, and what is the point of fighting your way out of the darkness, just to make your way into another form of darkness? No. Your tyrant won’t be defeated by force. He will be defeated by love, and I know that your love is strong enough to turn him around. The man that I love finds joy in the little things, the touch of the grass against his feet, the sight of birds in the trees, the sound of a stick falling on icy water. The man that I love is surprising, he is unapologetically original, passionate, and doted of a natural humour. The man that I love is caring and has an emotional intelligence that can make anyone around him feel seen, heard, and loved. The man that I love is wise, he can offer advice that you never knew you needed, and he can be the ray of sunshine in anyone’s day. The man that I love will lighten up entire rooms and soothe even your deepest worries with care and attention. The man that I love, can love so strongly, so unconditionally, so powerfully, that he can make anyone’s darkness fade away. So, if anyone is going to bring this tyrant down, it will be the man that I love. Love can make your tyrant feel seen, it can make him feel comfortable enough to talk, comfortable enough to tell you about what pain led him to tyranny. When faced with love, with a powerful, unconditional love, and an acceptance that is free of all judgment, your ​ tyrant will be able to start facing up to his actions, he will be able to start realising that all along he was causing you to suffer for reasons that had nothing to do with you, they were never your fault, he was only causing you to suffer, because he was suffering. When that realisation will spring upon him, he will remove your blindfold and you will see that you are facing yourself. But don’t worry, it’s just a mask the tyrant originally wore to trouble you, he won’t wish to do that anymore though, he’ll unchain you and remove his mask, and you will realise that all along, your tyrant was only a child. Suddenly the anger you felt towards your tyrant will vanish, because you are a man who is fair, just and loving, you are a man who doesn’t believe in punishment nor revenge, you are a man who can forgive. You are a man who can recognise when a child simply needs to be held, loved and nurtured. So you will take the child’s hand. At first, he will be fearful, he has been hurt before, who’s to say that you won’t hurt him? But you will give him your word, you will promise him that he is safe with you, and deep in your heart, you will know that you are telling the truth. The child will weep in your arms, and you will hold him tighter, you will tell him that he is loved, he is heard, he is seen, and that from this moment forward, he will never be alone. You will come out of the basement with the child, hand in hand. And although at first it will feel like a relief, it won’t be easy. You haven’t seen the sun in so long, its light will feel blinding and uncomfortable, your body will still feel weak, and as you’ll barely feel able to look after yourself, you’ll start to wonder how you could possibly look after this child? But you will surprise yourself. Through the small pleasures you once enjoyed, such as feeling the cool grass underneath your feet, you will find strength. Enough strength to lift yourself up, carry the child, and start walking. It will be challenging, and you’ll worry that each step might be your last step, you’ll worry that you might fall and never find the strength to get back up, but you’ll keep putting a foot in front of the other, until it starts to feel natural. Eventually you’ll look up and realise that the sun isn’t as blinding as it was when you first came out, you’ll see a path, and you’ll know how to get home. On your way home, you will worry that bringing this child back might be too much of a burden for me. What if I don’t want him? What if I don’t love him? After all he was once a tyrant, how could I love him? And what if I don’t even love you anymore? You’ve been gone for so long, what if I’ve stopped waiting? What if I’ve given up? What if I’ve found someone else? What if I just end up hurting you and the child more than you’ve both already been hurt? But all this time, I’ve been waiting for you. I’ve been worrying, I’ve been crying, you disappeared so suddenly I never understood what had happened. I made it my mission to find you, I was up day and night trying to save you, I called on you a thousand times, I searched for clues in every corner, I even tried to negotiate with your tyrant, but to no avail, it only angered him more. I tried to get help, but no one could help me, and in the end, I was left weakened. That’s when I realised that I was exhausting myself, and I wasn’t helping you. So I did the only thing I could do. I stopped trying to save you and trusted that you would be able to save yourself, and as I waited for you to do that, I held our space, I nourished our space so that you could come back to a loving and nurturing home, one where you could one day feel whole again and heal. ​ When you come home, I will welcome your little boy with open arms, and love him, just as I learned to love the little girl who once held me hostage in a basement. The truth is I already know your little boy, I’ve seen him in your shadows, and I’ve already grown to love him. You also know my little girl, she has been living in our home throughout our entire relationship. She has loved you as much as I have, and although at first she was afraid of you, she was afraid that you would hurt her, she grew to love you, and she learned to trust you. When you were gone for so long, she began to worry, she worried that perhaps you would never come back, she worried that perhaps you didn’t want to come back to us, perhaps you wanted another home, a different home, perhaps you had stopped loving us. But I reassured her, and I told her about the love that we shared, the hours and days we spent looking into each other’s eyes, as time stood still and the world around us vanished, and we questioned, every day, how we could be so lucky. Our love is the truest love I’ve ever known, our love is the deepest love I’ve ever known, and I know that a love like ours, never just goes away. One day my little girl will meet your little boy, and they will love each other as much as we love each other, the four of us will build a home so whole, that all our fears will be replaced by trust, our anger will be replaced by love, and tyranny will be nothing but a distant memory. This isn’t going to happen overnight, we don’t want you to exhaust yourself trying to come home, we don’t want you to run and fall, we want you to make wise and calculated steps, so that you can slowly but surely come back to us. If I could, I would be in the basement with you, but you don’t want me there, and if I force myself into the basement, my little girl will turn into a tyrant again and our home will collapse. So although I’m not in the darkness with you, know that I can still see you, and I am still here, holding our fort, waiting for you to find the strength to love your tyrant unconditionally, so that you can bring him home for us to nurture and heal him, so that he can learn to fearlessly trust both of us.

The only reason I’m alive is for the fact I don’t want the people who care for me to feel the pain and suffering that I go through everyday if I was to commit suicide 😭 I don’t want to live anymore...

what should I do in the meantime? I thought about planting flowers and hanging out with friends. also will try to make a comics. btw don't suggest getting help, i already go to the therapist and take AD, I just can't handle my life anymore. school has been very hard for me, I constantly feel tired, my marks got worse, I lost all motivation to keep going. there are more reason but I don't feel like sharing. who knows, maybe in a couple of months I will feel better? thanks in advance!! 💖

I started lexapro 10 mg about 3 weeks ago. My anxiety has gone down a lot but my depression is still the same. My doctor is saying this is strange since those two should either improve or worsen together. Right now it’s just waiting a few more weeks to see if anything changes...

I’m within inches of losing my job. I (M25) spent the last year at this job spiraling in apathy and it’s catching up with me. I’ve been written up and reprimanded and if I lose this job I’m gonna lose my house and possibly my wife. Wtf do I do? My depression is just fucking my life up again.

I've lost everything. I fucked up my entire life and it's all my doing. Terrible people like me should not stay alive. I lost my relationship with a wondeful person who I treated terribly, my home, my family, my friends, my job, my car, EVERYTHING. Everything I owned was in my car and it got towed while I was living in that car just trying to get back on my feet. And I can't afford to get my car back. Now I'm on the streets and I have no one. Not even my family wants to help anymore. And who can blame them? I have been nothing but a complete disappointment to everyone who has ever had love for and showed me kindness. I have hurt and betrayed everyone in my life. I even did an analysis of my life last night and I realized that I have NEVER succeeded in ANYTHING. I have failed at absolutely everything in my life. I couldn't even finish high school. I'm a complete and total failure. Only thing that has kept me from ending it all is that I'm only 22, so I feel like maybe things could get better until I remembered that I'm most likely going to fucking JAIL because I couldn't take the classes that court appointed me to take. My life is so fucked. I'm so close to just hanging myself or jumping in front of a fucking train.

Been put back on antidepressants to help me with anxiety and depression. Also, short term benzo. Nothing is going right in life at the moment. And I've taken to hurting myself in anyway as much as possible. I have no control and alone in this, no one that actually wants to walk with me through this... Which, is the norm. And, I've done what I always do, which is cut everyone off, delete/deactivate everything, go to work with a mask on every day, crying myself to sleep every single night. Guess, knowing that I'm actually getting up and going to work is a good thing. As last time I just let everything go. I'm not as deep as I was back then, but I am still sinking right now. I've also had two panic attacks since. How long before the antidepressants begin to work typically?

i love going everyday smiling and making people laugh, but i dont think any has ever acutally known. Day in and day out my family calls me a dissapointment, failure, and they wish they never had me. ik some of my friends look at my reddit so. i dont feel comfortable in my on skin or near anyone else. in stuck in this endless cycle.

I've been feeling incredibly lonely recently. My psychiatrist can't see me until next Friday (she isn't covered under my insurance). TL;DR Tell me some kindness you've witnessed or received. I have been unemployed since December and I was holding on until I got my tax refund so I could see my psychiatrist for new meds, fixing my car, anything until I can get another job. Then the government took it all for student loans. I used all my energy and grit to get here, only to be still stranded and lower than ever. I don't talk to my friends anymore about it because they just think being strong is the key and that I will be fine. I don't feel fine. I used everything up and now I am here, jobless, broke, and not even caring to take care of myself anymore. What's the point, you know? I would like to hear some kindnesses you've witnessed. I've given up thinking anything good will happen to me (after three years of being kicked in the teeth every three weeks) but I want to hear how the world is still a good place.

Nothing aint fun nomore nothing excites me nomore nothing to look foward to nomore life aint fun nomore so whats the point of staying?

I feel like a lot less bad things would happen to people around me if I wasn’t around. I feel like a burden. I feel like I just always end up causing bad things to happen to everyone around me, which I try -so- hard to prevent. But even the things that are out of my control, still feel like they wouldn’t have happened, if I wasn’t around to cause that string of events to happen. And I always blame myself.

emptypost

I don't think I'm depressed. Not really sure how it works, but I'm kind of done If that makes any sense. This past semester of school has just been, weird, any time I get an assignment I feel overwhelmed, even though it's no different from any previous semester. I failed my first math test, I haven't started my senior project, behind in everything else. I want to get caught up, but I just have no desire to do anything. I live at home (community college) and have a life I'm sure many others would kill for, but still. As cringe as it sounds, I've been pointing our .357 at my skull and dry firing it. I hate the idea of my family and friends having to deal with the fallout, but I really can't see a future for myself. I'm not going to do anything but I thought I post because why not.

I mean I'm going to live in my parents basement until I die so what does it matter if I'm gay or straight. Not like I'll actually do anything about it.

i am feeling very, very bad right now. suicidal i guess. more like passively wishing i would slip into death with no effort or suffering on my part. i’ve suffered enough. i feel like right now is the first time all week my brain has had to pause and process or actually feel something and it’s just aggressively hitting me with all the depression i’ve been stuffing down throughout the week when i didn’t have time for it. well, now i do. so here it is. i tried journaling. i ended up just listing ways i could kill myself right now while i’m home alone. (not gonna. wish i would, or could, but i won’t. not now). tried meditating. couldn’t focus on it or let the calm penetrate the surface. i looked at my dog and immediately started sobbing, thinking about him living without me. i wanted to get some fresh air and let him run around, so i let him outside and sat on the front steps. he ended up sitting right next to me. wouldn’t leave my side. i looked up and saw the moon (it was still daylight) and began crying again. my dog kept nudging me to keep a hand on him and pushing against me. it made me cry more. i talked aloud to the moon. to whatever is out there. to my late mom. begged whoever was listening to please just help me. ease the pain. do something. i do not want to do this anymore. sat there for a while and watched the moon move in the sky behind the bare tree branches. felt the cold air seep down to my bones. it felt good. felt good to feel something that wasn’t sadness. it calmed me down. at this point i just feel numb. back to autopilot, i guess. better than life-shatteringly sad, right? i wish i could tell someone “i’m feeling suicidal” and they’d drop everything to bring me chinese food and rub my back. without me saying another word. that’s what i want. ridiculous, right? but instead i tell people that and then push them away. or i don’t tell them at all. or i give subtle hints and they are completely ignored. actually, i wish the aid of other people would help me at all. i THINK having someone support me in this way or love me or kiss my wounds would fix it all, but it wouldn’t. i’m just terrified of the thought of dealing with this alone for another single second. i am terrified of myself. of my brain. of my sickness. my trauma. my darkness. i want someone else to come pick up all the pieces and feed me chinese food and rub my back while they do it. if only. *thanks for letting me air all this out although you got nothing out of it by reading it. that is, if you read this far at all. wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t. xo

I'll try to be as transparent as possible without revealing too much. I am a high school senior, about to graduate in \~3 months. It feels like my life has been defined by the pressure to get good grades; and while I have done decently well in that regard, it has come at the expense at my social life and a lot of other things I value. I used to love the sport I played; now it feels like a burden to even show up to practice. I feel the same way about the other extracurricular activities I'm involved in. I've been rejected to several colleges/programs already, some of which I thought I had a decent shot at getting into. Occasionally, I have what I think are real suicidal impulses, but I know that I'm too much of a fucking pussy to do anything about it. The closer and closer I get to graduation, the lower my work ethic stoops, and the worse I feel about the utterly pathetic excuse of a human being that I now am. The reason why I'm confused is because occasionally, I have moments where I enjoy myself. Where I enjoy life. It feels like I'm bobbling on a line between despair and hope and I'm not sure whether that makes me truly depressed/suicidal.

I really don't get it. My life has been in a downward spiral for over a year in a half. I lost my sister to a car accident in January 2019, then my pet of ten years just three months later. Then I lose my home another six month later and now just this week I lose my job. I'm so tired of this life and I just want to die. I wish for the courage to kill myself but then I think about the burden that would put on my family. I hate this world and everything about it. I really wish I could be killed in a car wreck or something like that so I could get what I want and my family wouldn't be burden by my sorry existence.

I’ve never been good at making friends. I never had any through middle school. Last year I made one though. We got really close but after I told him about my depression he seemed to drift off. Yesterday morning while we were talking he said he had to meet up with his teacher and told me that he’d tell me once he’s done. As I was walking around the halls I saw him with a group of other people. I don’t care that he was with others considering things have gotten awkward between us. what bothered me was that he just ditched me. I’d much rather have been told that he was going to meet some of his other friends. I dont have anyone tanymore because after that he just said that he doesn’t want to see me anymore.

I'm lost... I just don't know what to do anymore. I can't control my emotions anymore. I'm pissed one second and crying the next, I'm laughing now and want to end it 5 seconds later. I've tried all my tricks to help and nothing. I'm so depressed lately with everything happening in my life from work to personal to legal. I always feel so alone... I seriously just want to end it lately. I don't want to go on anymore, it's to damn hard and I'm sick and tired of living a life full of torture. 😔

JUST LET ME OUT OF THIS WORLD WITHOUT HURTING ANYONE LMAO!!!! FUCK THIS STUPID UNIVERSE

It's not that I hate working but... no, it is precisely that I hate working. I just can't come to terms with the thought that I'm going to waste a huge part of my life doing things I don't like to do. For what? I don't see the point on working hard and achieving all these career goals if the only time I'm going to have to myself would be after I retire — IF I'm ever going to retire and not just drop dead in my 50/60s. I'm 27 and I have no idea how to live this life, my supposedly only chance at sentience. I'm depressed due to a lot of things: physical health problems, not being able to find a job that I'm going to at least tolerate, feeling generally lost in life. I hated all the jobs I've been at, ALL OF THEM. It majorly contributed to my suicidal tendencies and I quit my last job with this awful premonition that if I'm not going to quit asap, I'm going to kill myself. My family doesn't understand because 'Everybody's gotta work for a living' (the usual), they kind of resent me now for being like this. I'd gladly drink all the Kool-Aid of this world and be a relatively happy working drone at this point in my life, but my mind just isnt wired that way. I'm tired of constantly feeling depressed, guilty, angry at this world and myself. I feel absolutely alone, even thought I know that I'm not alone in this type of thinking. Right now I just feel empty, like there's no way out of this, lile I have nothing to live for. Sorry for this rant. I know I'm just writing it for attention, or maybe for some sort of connection to another human being.

Today’s the day to get out of bed! Get off that couch, or get the hell out of that chair, y’all. Start by sitting up wherever you are right this second. Right now, I want you to take a deep breath in through your nose, and slowly breathe it out through your mouth. Take another deep breath in, this time focus on the roof of your mouth and your tongue; relax those muscles, let your tongue fall away from the roof of your mouth, and breathe all the way out. Repeat this breathing technique, focusing further on your lungs and your rib cage. Feel each breath slowly touching your nostrils, pulling downward into your chest, filling your lungs. Consider your posture now, letting your shoulders roll back and your neck pull up as your lungs fill with fresh air. Your body is likely sore from sleeping too much, or not enough, and I know that story all too well. You’re alive today, and I challenge you to stand up, stretch the body your mind has been neglecting, and get into the shower. Practice the breathing technique in the shower or a hot bath, being mindful of how your body feels. Listen to it when it speaks today. You’ve got this!

I called the hotline, and said exactly that. And honestly I don’t know what I was expecting. But what I got was a dude who read off a bunch of questions. I answered. Then I got transferred to a sassy lady who informed me that she could either send out a team to collect me and take me to the hospital, or she could call 911. I repeated myself. I can’t afford the hospital. The lady told me those are my options. I’ve been dealing with some mental health issues since I was a kid, but they’ve really exploded in the last 2-3 years. I get why people with depression kill themselves. I don’t want to die because I’m sad. I want to die because this is going to happen for the rest of my life, and I cannot agree to that. I never thought I’d be a person who would do this, but I’ve been strongly considering it even when I’m not sad. Help. I don’t want to hurt myself, but I can’t do this again and again. I can’t.

Right now as I'm in a taxi going home, I drank 10 pills of antidepressants, wanted to drink the entire bottle and pass out on the road peacefully but couldn't get myself to finish the bottle. My legs are going numb and I'm starting to lose sight in my eyes. Doubt I'll be able to go to work tomorrow because have never drank this much and definitely tried before but couldn't follow through. Somebody might be thinking that I'm doing this because I'm miserable, well maybe you're right. Not because I'm alone( in an amazing relationship for over two years) not because I'm unemployed or broke( working at an amazing position as an HR vice president) not because I have abusive family( they're extremely supportive and I'd give my life for them), even if you have all of those you can still be miserable and not feel happy. This is just me venting before my eyes completely black out, to anyone trying to overdose tonight, don't do it, don't be an idiot like me Obligatory edit: I'm only 21

On paper things should seem fine, the few people I've told I want to kill myself on a constant basis brush it off as me being hyperbolic or something. I think about suicide every day and I have for a very long time. Every day is just a physical underlying pain, that I can't really pinpoint. I just want it to stop. The depression or whatever, doesn't ever go away, no matter if I change my work, have money or dont, with or without romantic partners, or how my social life is doing. I can't seem to dig out any actual real trauma. I just want to die, and I think about it all of the time, but I'm just too much of a coward to go through with it, so far. I just want help to end this.

Not gonna lie, I feel like a fucking dumbass typing this. But I’m failing at life, really want to die, and am too embarrassed to explain to the people closest to me that I would rather die than proceed with my futile attempts at life. So here I am, on reddit, for some unknown fucking reason. I guess I just need to vent and this seems like the best place because I’m sure no one I know will look here. So here it goes I’m 23. Live in my parents basement with an amazing girl that I really don’t deserve. Most of my life I’ve been the quiet kid. Most people were scared of me in school because of that, but I’m too much of a pussy to actually do anything. Only reason anyone would talk to me was because I played football and went to school with most of my team. From elementary school through middle school I was really fucking ugly. Acne was terrible, huge fucking nose, no confidence. Had like 2 encounters with girls during this time period and I was a hardcore “nice guy.” Those 2 encounters were enough for everyone to realize I’m pretty fucking retarded. So most people avoided me. High school I peaked. (and by peak I really don’t mean much. Just the time that I wasn’t absolutely pathetic) Met the girl I’m with now, got in really good shape and did pretty good in football. Managed to get fucking C’s all throughout though so I got no scholarship for college. After high school my parents were amazing enough to pay for my college. 5000 fucking dollars a semester for me to do average my first semester then fail calculus my second semester. After my second semester I let my father convince me that I should go to school closer to home and do electrical engineering. First semester I did average. Next semester I failed fucking Chemistry and lab. Semester after that I failed my chemistry lab again so I had to switch to Computer engineering. Semester after that I failed Pde’s. Pretty much every semester after that I’ve failed classes. Not because I’m not learning the material but because I’m so fucking lazy I don’t do half the homework. Usually my homework grades suck but my test scores are good but not good enough to keep me from failing. Every year my parents keep telling me that they are going to make me move out and pay for my own school, but they keep giving me more chances and I keep royal fucking those chances. Honestly don’t understand why they give me so many chances. Anyways, this year isn’t any different. Last semester I took 3 fucking classes (9 credit hours) and failed all three of my classes. Worst I’ve ever done. So this current semester I’m retaking 2 of the 3 I failed and just had to withdraw from one of them and the other I will probably get a C in. I don’t get it. I have a part time job at fucking Chili’s, I live at home, have everything going for me; don’t have to worry about expenses, amazing girlfriend, family that loves me. Yet I can’t fucking pass two fucking classes. I’m a failure. Honestly no other explanation. I get to tell my mother that after this semester I am dropping out and moving out, therefore waisting 50,000$ of her money. Thing is, if I can’t pass two fucking classes how the fuck an I suppose to live on my own. Other thing is, I wouldn’t be on my own, my girlfriend would be with me which makes everything worse because I would be dragging her down with me. So instead of moving out I have decided I should probably just kill myself. I’ve planned it out for the most part. I have a 30-06 in my room that guarantees my death, I’ve scouted a place out where no one will be able to find my corpse. I haven’t written my goodbye letter because I’m honestly too pathetic to write one and probably won’t even leave one, I plan on depositing all of my money into an account that my girlfriend has access to so she can get out of this house as quickly as possible if need be, etc... I know my death will negatively impact those closest too me but I’m almost positive my parents will get over it. Honestly my father has given up on me so I don’t think he’ll care much. My grandparents will be devastated but they will get over it. Only one I’m worried about is my girlfriend. She’s about to start a new job right when I plan on killing myself and I don’t want to ruin that. I’m sure I can figure something out. At the same time. I really don’t want to die. It still breaks my heart that I have to leave everything behind. My family has two amazing dogs that I would die for, I managed to go out with a girl way out of my league for 5 years that’s about to get a job relevant to her dream career, I have grandparents, aunts, and uncles that all seem to like me, etc... Guess I’ll just bring a couple bottles to try and get over that heartbreak so I can pull the trigger. Anyways, sorry to start my own fucking pity party. It was just hurting me to not say or write anything before I die since I’ve done relatively good at hiding my depression from everyone. Thank you for reading.

2020 is kicking my ass so bad. I got laid off in November, and a pregnancy wouldnt allow me to work until now. I got the call that im going back to work starting Saturday, but whats the use? Unemployment didnt pay enough to make rent and bills, social assistance wont help me BECAUSE im recieving Unemployment, and i was given the "you have 14 days to pay your rent or i start the eviction process" notice from the landlord. After waiting for a late payment of Unemployment to come in, and my husband and i taking everything of value to us (PS4, Switch, and even his guitar) to the pawn shop, we're a solid $60 short on rent with no income in sight for the remaining days we have to pay. I put my name out for emergency commissions as i figure people might go for it, but in all honesty, no one has. Another bomb dropped on me today was that this "flu" my 3 year old daughter has had for a few days now is actually Scarlet Fever. Who gets scarlet fever? Is this the 1800s? What happens if my newborn son catches it from her? Is this year the year i lose a child and face my biggest and deepest fear? Idk man. I just wish this year would stop kicking my ass...i just needed to tell the world.

emptypost

I stopped being able to watch movies months ago. Now I’m finding myself in conversations I and I have no idea what we’re talking about. I panic because I didn’t hear what they said even though I thought I was listening. I’m not even thinking of other things my brain just shuts them out. I’ll take my dog out at 2.30pm and suddenly it’s 5.00pm. Where did the time go? Am I nuts or is this normal?

I would like to say that I was shook, but I knew she has the habit of consuming a lot of sleeping pills just for not having to deal with the daily problems... Aside from trying get professional help I dont really know what to do, I feel guilty about this

[I'm not seeking any medical advice, just want to know if anyone has had similar experiences] I've just started taking Lexapro for moderate depression and anxiety. For the first week I was prescribed 5mg, 10mg thereafter. It's been two days and I have this mild feeling like I'm on ecstasy/MDMA. My body feels light and I have this weird concentration of energy above my neck at the back of my head. Has anyone felt this/experienced this?

I have nothing to say, other than this is the end.

I would like to spend 2 weeks at home, not working or leaving the house and not interacting with anyone, without the sickness.

It’s only freshman year and already I’ve been bullied, cut from every team I’ve tried out for, my grades are slowly falling, my homecoming date literally ditched me for another guy, and I’m being made fun of dating because she’s only a year younger than me. Why must people so terrible.

I don’t know if it will work but I don’t care. No body wants me here. I’m always alone. When I think i’ve found someone they always leave me. When i’m happy and finally start to believe i’m getting better it’s always ripped away from me. I’m too fat. I’m too ugly. I’m too dumb. I will never be enough. No one will miss me. No one will cry. If they will they will forget about me in a few days. Goodbye

I'm aware of why I'm doing it. I hate my life right now, and I am scared of the future. The past is a warm safe blanket full of photos, videos, and messages to remind me of what used to be, and the people who used to be in it. I hate getting older. I want to reach out to some of these old friends from 10 years ago. Is it even worth it? They've all moved on, but I haven't. I don't want to delete these memories, but I feel like I have to at this point. Any other suggestions?

What’s it like when you come out of a depressive episode? I know it’s not sudden for most. I just want to know because although I haven’t been depressed my whole life, I have been in a very deep depressive episode the past year and a half and my memory is appalling. I’ve genuinely totally forgotten most of my life, especially how I felt during previous periods of time. (This memory loss is related to dissociation and prolonged trauma as well as low serotonin) My friend said that she’s come out of her depression and that she feels different. She feels ambitious and the dog has gone. Things feel less difficult. It’s given me so much hope and I want to hear your success stories. Because I know that it’s common to feel like it’ll never end. But I need to know it will. I’m already so much better thanks to antidepressants but I still struggle a lot.

I’m not sure if it’s just me but do you guys ever have the thought that maybe you’re just faking all this and overreacting and you’ve worried everyone for nothing?

Whenever I am in bed trying to sleep, I always lay there for another 2-3 hours just trying to see how I got to the point where I am, it always ends with me feeling too bad to even think about anything anymore and I essentially cry myself to sleep.The lack of sleep caused my grades to plummet as I can never focus in class. Every day just makes me feel worse with everything around me slowly losing its meaning.

Title

My mom is literary the only person in the world who truly cares about me. For everyone else, I pretty much just exist in the background, or people just use me. I have had periods of intense depression in my life and there have been so many times when I’ve contemplated self harm, but never dared to actually take action just because I thought about how much my mom loves me and how sad she would be if I hurt myself. She has done so much for me, & I don’t think I could ever be half as good a mom as she was. When I was in the hospital for pretty much a whole year in tremendous pain, I never even had 1 visitor, but I didn’t really care that my friends didn’t visit me for a year, because she never left me and that was more than enough. The past month or so, she’s been suffering with her own health issues, which have now grown so severe the doctors are almost positive it’s cancer or ALS. I’m trying to keep my hopes up that this is just some kind of short term problem, but every day it worsens, the more I can’t stop myself from thinking about the possibility of life without her. And that’s a thought that I cannot bear. Life would be pointless and I would truly be all on my own. I want nothing more than to be able to take away her pain.

i am so goddamn hopeless. all i want to do is end it. i could have a happy life, i know that, but now is hard enough to make me not want that. i had a psychiatrist appointment scheduled on the 7th, but my dad found out and is in a fight with my mom about it, who keeps coming into my room to tell me its all my fault because i don't want to try to convince my father that i DESERVE to seek treatment for already diagnosed depression and ocd. i am tired. nothing ever gets better. tonight might be the night i go. i fucking hope so anyway.

whenever i plead and try to tell people im trying as hard as i can, i get a hard "no youre not" if it doesnt seem like im trying anymore, why do i try? why try anymore?

I have been through a very hard life, from my single parent mother being addicted to drugs, being in Foster care for 7 years, to being homeless for 6 years. I have and had finally gotten myself where I needed to be. I got a puppy I love dearly and has been my Emotional Support animal. I do everything in life for him now. I finally got my own place after 4 years. I have a great job that I am happy to go to and I can afford to pay my bills and all of my habits/ needs. Today I got a notice to vacat after spending months fighting over Landlord Obligations. I lost my old job a month ago because of the emotional distress that I was in. I literally told my manager "How can i care about someones remote not working and sit with all sincerity to trouble shoot, and I go home everyday to no heat and my dog shaking uncontrollable, but keeps a smile on his face for me?" I was unable to pay my electric bill, so they are trying to evict me on the premise of breaking the lease. All of this is breaking my faith. I am trying so hard, but everytime I get a head there's something trying to break me. Today I have fallen back into my depression and cant help but say it's better to give my pup away to someone more stable and kill myself. I cant keep going and dealing with uncertainty or being homeless. I try so hard everyday, to just get pushed back into the void. It took me losing myself and being at the end and seeing the darkness as a comfort, for me to get to where I am now. Yet, it seems life wants me to go back there. I am numb and ready.

k̷̡̧̛̛̹̤͍̙͈̩̩̱̗̦̹̭̦͍̼̦̪̮̰͕̥̦͍̘̠͇̬̦̝̲̱̣͉̞̜͉̪̀͒̏͌̂͋̎̈͗̈́̀̾̃́͒͌̽͂̔͋̓̉̊͑̍͌͛̔̔̎̈́̅̇̅͂̑͗͑̍̉͋͛̓͊͒̃̈́̓̈́̈́̕̕͘͘͠͠i̷̧̧̨̨̲̘͍̖̥̙̳̟̮͎͉͔̙͈̲̪͍͚̥̱̼̥̝̻̖̪̲̞͙̼̩̩͙̱͇̘̊̾͒͋̑̈́̐͆̈͛̈́̎̈́̊̄̄̎̀̃̀̃͛͐͂̈́̉̅́̌͐͊̈̒̑̒̑́̌̀̌̉͌̅̌̆̂͋̓̈́̕͠͠͝l̵̨̦̬̝̮͈͕̮͓̙͍͍̥͔̱̫̟̼̺͉̯̜͎̠͚̬͉̝̘͕̮͔̪̂̀̐̓͗̂̿̀͛͐͗̿̏̉̈͘̕̚͜͜ͅͅͅl̷̢̧̢̨̡̲̫͔̫̰̭̮̦̲͓͍̦̮̦͕̳̳̞̠̩̘̠̤̮͈͖̩̺͔̮͕͙̤̤̟̺̫̘͚̤̮̦͇̩͓͚̠͎͎̖͓̘̇̀̎̋͆̓̎͋͛͌͋̔̚͜͜͜ͅͅ ̶̟̱̰̰̭̹̺̪̯̣̱̳̔̾́̀̊̈͐́̈́͑̀̇̀͊̿̌͌ͅm̷̡̨̛̛͙͙̻͍̥̦̦̗͙̟̯͇͓̘͓̱̗͙͉̟͓̲͇̰͇̭͎͙͕̘̻̖̥̬̉̋͛͗̋͂͑͊͋̀̉̎͌̿̎̓̿̓̎͗̆̀̄̋́͛̊̔͆̅̑̿̾̿̅̄̀̈́̓̒̎̒͂̃̊̈́͐̈́̚͘̕͠͝͠͝e̵̯̟̻͉̹̬̱͎̼͇͇͇͙̅̅̃ͅ ̷̳̭̫̈̿̈͑̈́͝n̴̨̨̨̨̫̗͕͚̱͚̖͖͖̥̠̺͙̩̩͓͎͖̪̼̤̲̩̹̖̱͕̄́́̆͠ơ̴̡̳̜̠̖̼̖͔̥̍̇̒͂̈́͒̔͛͋͑̏̉̀̈́̌̂̎̉́̊̊̔͊̇̍̍̒̐͆̿̊̍̇͐̈́̉̈͌̔̈́̐̋̊̿̿̓̇̉͒̈̊̕͘͝͝͠͝͝ẅ̵̧̡̢̢̩͎̳̲̳̻̯̝̦̻̜̦̹̳͚͈͙̠̖̗͔̹̩̰̇͊̐̇̉̐̐̒̀͌̐̏́̿̂̄͘̚̚͝ͅk̷̡̧̛̛̹̤͍̙͈̩̩̱̗̦̹̭̦͍̼̦̪̮̰͕̥̦͍̘̠͇̬̦̝̲̱̣͉̞̜͉̪̀͒̏͌̂͋̎̈͗̈́̀̾̃́͒͌̽͂̔͋̓̉̊͑̍͌͛̔̔̎̈́̅̇̅͂̑͗͑̍̉͋͛̓͊͒̃̈́̓̈́̈́̕̕͘͘͠͠i̷̧̧̨̨̲̘͍̖̥̙̳̟̮͎͉͔̙͈̲̪͍͚̥̱̼̥̝̻̖̪̲̞͙̼̩̩͙̱͇̘̊̾͒͋̑̈́̐͆̈͛̈́̎̈́̊̄̄̎̀̃̀̃͛͐͂̈́̉̅́̌͐͊̈̒̑̒̑́̌̀̌̉͌̅̌̆̂͋̓̈́̕͠͠͝l̵̨̦̬̝̮͈͕̮͓̙͍͍̥͔̱̫̟̼̺͉̯̜͎̠͚̬͉̝̘͕̮͔̪̂̀̐̓͗̂̿̀͛͐͗̿̏̉̈͘̕̚͜͜ͅͅͅl̷̢̧̢̨̡̲̫͔̫̰̭̮̦̲͓͍̦̮̦͕̳̳̞̠̩̘̠̤̮͈͖̩̺͔̮͕͙̤̤̟̺̫̘͚̤̮̦͇̩͓͚̠͎͎̖͓̘̇̀̎̋͆̓̎͋͛͌͋̔̚͜͜͜ͅͅ ̶̟̱̰̰̭̹̺̪̯̣̱̳̔̾́̀̊̈͐́̈́͑̀̇̀͊̿̌͌ͅm̷̡̨̛̛͙͙̻͍̥̦̦̗͙̟̯͇͓̘͓̱̗͙͉̟͓̲͇̰͇̭͎͙͕̘̻̖̥̬̉̋͛͗̋͂͑͊͋̀̉̎͌̿̎̓̿̓̎͗̆̀̄̋́͛̊̔͆̅̑̿̾̿̅̄̀̈́̓̒̎̒͂̃̊̈́͐̈́̚͘̕͠͝͠͝e̵̯̟̻͉̹̬̱͎̼͇͇͇͙̅̅̃ͅ ̷̳̭̫̈̿̈͑̈́͝n̴̨̨̨̨̫̗͕͚̱͚̖͖͖̥̠̺͙̩̩͓͎͖̪̼̤̲̩̹̖̱͕̄́́̆͠ơ̴̡̳̜̠̖̼̖͔̥̍̇̒͂̈́͒̔͛͋͑̏̉̀̈́̌̂̎̉́̊̊̔͊̇̍̍̒̐͆̿̊̍̇͐̈́̉̈͌̔̈́̐̋̊̿̿̓̇̉͒̈̊̕͘͝͝͠͝͝ẅ̵̧̡̢̢̩͎̳̲̳̻̯̝̦̻̜̦̹̳͚͈͙̠̖̗͔̹̩̰̇͊̐̇̉̐̐̒̀͌̐̏́̿̂̄͘̚̚͝ͅk̷̡̧̛̛̹̤͍̙͈̩̩̱̗̦̹̭̦͍̼̦̪̮̰͕̥̦͍̘̠͇̬̦̝̲̱̣͉̞̜͉̪̀͒̏͌̂͋̎̈͗̈́̀̾̃́͒͌̽͂̔͋̓̉̊͑̍͌͛̔̔̎̈́̅̇̅͂̑͗͑̍̉͋͛̓͊͒̃̈́̓̈́̈́̕̕͘͘͠͠i̷̧̧̨̨̲̘͍̖̥̙̳̟̮͎͉͔̙͈̲̪͍͚̥̱̼̥̝̻̖̪̲̞͙̼̩̩͙̱͇̘̊̾͒͋̑̈́̐͆̈͛̈́̎̈́̊̄̄̎̀̃̀̃͛͐͂̈́̉̅́̌͐͊̈̒̑̒̑́̌̀̌̉͌̅̌̆̂͋̓̈́̕͠͠͝l̵̨̦̬̝̮͈͕̮͓̙͍͍̥͔̱̫̟̼̺͉̯̜͎̠͚̬͉̝̘͕̮͔̪̂̀̐̓͗̂̿̀͛͐͗̿̏̉̈͘̕̚͜͜ͅͅͅl̷̢̧̢̨̡̲̫͔̫̰̭̮̦̲͓͍̦̮̦͕̳̳̞̠̩̘̠̤̮͈͖̩̺͔̮͕͙̤̤̟̺̫̘͚̤̮̦͇̩͓͚̠͎͎̖͓̘̇̀̎̋͆̓̎͋͛͌͋̔̚͜͜͜ͅͅ ̶̟̱̰̰̭̹̺̪̯̣̱̳̔̾́̀̊̈͐́̈́͑̀̇̀͊̿̌͌ͅm̷̡̨̛̛͙͙̻͍̥̦̦̗͙̟̯͇͓̘͓̱̗͙͉̟͓̲͇̰͇̭͎͙͕̘̻̖̥̬̉̋͛͗̋͂͑͊͋̀̉̎͌̿̎̓̿̓̎͗̆̀̄̋́͛̊̔͆̅̑̿̾̿̅̄̀̈́̓̒̎̒͂̃̊̈́͐̈́̚͘̕͠͝͠͝e̵̯̟̻͉̹̬̱͎̼͇͇͇͙̅̅̃ͅ ̷̳̭̫̈̿̈͑̈́͝n̴̨̨̨̨̫̗͕͚̱͚̖͖͖̥̠̺͙̩̩͓͎͖̪̼̤̲̩̹̖̱͕̄́́̆͠ơ̴̡̳̜̠̖̼̖͔̥̍̇̒͂̈́͒̔͛͋͑̏̉̀̈́̌̂̎̉́̊̊̔͊̇̍̍̒̐͆̿̊̍̇͐̈́̉̈͌̔̈́̐̋̊̿̿̓̇̉͒̈̊̕͘͝͝͠͝͝ẅ̵̧̡̢̢̩͎̳̲̳̻̯̝̦̻̜̦̹̳͚͈͙̠̖̗͔̹̩̰̇͊̐̇̉̐̐̒̀͌̐̏́̿̂̄͘̚̚͝ͅk̷̡̧̛̛̹̤͍̙͈̩̩̱̗̦̹̭̦͍̼̦̪̮̰͕̥̦͍̘̠͇̬̦̝̲̱̣͉̞̜͉̪̀͒̏͌̂͋̎̈͗̈́̀̾̃́͒͌̽͂̔͋̓̉̊͑̍͌͛̔̔̎̈́̅̇̅͂̑͗͑̍̉͋͛̓͊͒̃̈́̓̈́̈́̕̕͘͘͠͠i̷̧̧̨̨̲̘͍̖̥̙̳̟̮͎͉͔̙͈̲̪͍͚̥̱̼̥̝̻̖̪̲̞͙̼̩̩͙̱͇̘̊̾͒͋̑̈́̐͆̈͛̈́̎̈́̊̄̄̎̀̃̀̃͛͐͂̈́̉̅́̌͐͊̈̒̑̒̑́̌̀̌̉͌̅̌̆̂͋̓̈́̕͠͠͝l̵̨̦̬̝̮͈͕̮͓̙͍͍̥͔̱̫̟̼̺͉̯̜͎̠͚̬͉̝̘͕̮͔̪̂̀̐̓͗̂̿̀͛͐͗̿̏̉̈͘̕̚͜͜ͅͅͅl̷̢̧̢̨̡̲̫͔̫̰̭̮̦̲͓͍̦̮̦͕̳̳̞̠̩̘̠̤̮͈͖̩̺͔̮͕͙̤̤̟̺̫̘͚̤̮̦͇̩͓͚̠͎͎̖͓̘̇̀̎̋͆̓̎͋͛͌͋̔̚͜͜͜ͅͅ ̶̟̱̰̰̭̹̺̪̯̣̱̳̔̾́̀̊̈͐́̈́͑̀̇̀͊̿̌͌ͅm̷̡̨̛̛͙͙̻͍̥̦̦̗͙̟̯͇͓̘͓̱̗͙͉̟͓̲͇̰͇̭͎͙͕̘̻̖̥̬̉̋͛͗̋͂͑͊͋̀̉̎͌̿̎̓̿̓̎͗̆̀̄̋́͛̊̔͆̅̑̿̾̿̅̄̀̈́̓̒̎̒͂̃̊̈́͐̈́̚͘̕͠͝͠͝e̵̯̟̻͉̹̬̱͎̼͇͇͇͙̅̅̃ͅ ̷̳̭̫̈̿̈͑̈́͝n̴̨̨̨̨̫̗͕͚̱͚̖͖͖̥̠̺͙̩̩͓͎͖̪̼̤̲̩̹̖̱͕̄́́̆͠ơ̴̡̳̜̠̖̼̖͔̥̍̇̒͂̈́͒̔͛͋͑̏̉̀̈́̌̂̎̉́̊̊̔͊̇̍̍̒̐͆̿̊̍̇͐̈́̉̈͌̔̈́̐̋̊̿̿̓̇̉͒̈̊̕͘͝͝͠͝͝ẅ̵̧̡̢̢̩͎̳̲̳̻̯̝̦̻̜̦̹̳͚͈͙̠̖̗͔̹̩̰̇͊̐̇̉̐̐̒̀͌̐̏́̿̂̄͘̚̚͝ͅk̷̡̧̛̛̹̤͍̙͈̩̩̱̗̦̹̭̦͍̼̦̪̮̰͕̥̦͍̘̠͇̬̦̝̲̱̣͉̞̜͉̪̀͒̏͌̂͋̎̈͗̈́̀̾̃́͒͌̽͂̔͋̓̉̊͑̍͌͛̔̔̎̈́̅̇̅͂̑͗͑̍̉͋͛̓͊͒̃̈́̓̈́̈́̕̕͘͘͠͠i̷̧̧̨̨̲̘͍̖̥̙̳̟̮͎͉͔̙͈̲̪͍͚̥̱̼̥̝̻̖̪̲̞͙̼̩̩͙̱͇̘̊̾͒͋̑̈́̐͆̈͛̈́̎̈́̊̄̄̎̀̃̀̃͛͐͂̈́̉̅́̌͐͊̈̒̑̒̑́̌̀̌̉͌̅̌̆̂͋̓̈́̕͠͠͝l̵̨̦̬̝̮͈͕̮͓̙͍͍̥͔̱̫̟̼̺͉̯̜͎̠͚̬͉̝̘͕̮͔̪̂̀̐̓͗̂̿̀͛͐͗̿̏̉̈͘̕̚͜͜ͅͅͅl̷̢̧̢̨̡̲̫͔̫̰̭̮̦̲͓͍̦̮̦͕̳̳̞̠̩̘̠̤̮͈͖̩̺͔̮͕͙̤̤̟̺̫̘͚̤̮̦͇̩͓͚̠͎͎̖͓̘̇̀̎̋͆̓̎͋͛͌͋̔̚͜͜͜ͅͅ ̶̟̱̰̰̭̹̺̪̯̣̱̳̔̾́̀̊̈͐́̈́͑̀̇̀͊̿̌͌ͅm̷̡̨̛̛͙͙̻͍̥̦̦̗͙̟̯͇͓̘͓̱̗͙͉̟͓̲͇̰͇̭͎͙͕̘̻̖̥̬̉̋͛͗̋͂͑͊͋̀̉̎͌̿̎̓̿̓̎͗̆̀̄̋́͛̊̔͆̅̑̿̾̿̅̄̀̈́̓̒̎̒͂̃̊̈́͐̈́̚͘̕͠͝͠͝e̵̯̟̻͉̹̬̱͎̼͇͇͇͙̅̅̃ͅ ̷̳̭̫̈̿̈͑̈́͝n̴̨̨̨̨̫̗͕͚̱͚̖͖͖̥̠̺͙̩̩͓͎͖̪̼̤̲̩̹̖̱͕̄́́̆͠ơ̴̡̳̜̠̖̼̖͔̥̍̇̒͂̈́͒̔͛͋͑̏̉̀̈́̌̂̎̉́̊̊̔͊̇̍̍̒̐͆̿̊̍̇͐̈́̉̈͌̔̈́̐̋̊̿̿̓̇̉͒̈̊̕͘͝͝͠͝͝ẅ̵̧̡̢̢̩͎̳̲̳̻̯̝̦̻̜̦̹̳͚͈͙̠̖̗͔̹̩̰̇͊̐̇̉̐̐̒̀͌̐̏́̿̂̄͘̚̚͝ͅk̷̡̧̛̛̹̤͍̙͈̩̩̱̗̦̹̭̦͍̼̦̪̮̰͕̥̦͍̘̠͇̬̦̝̲̱̣͉̞̜͉̪̀͒̏͌̂͋̎̈͗̈́̀̾̃́͒͌̽͂̔͋̓̉̊͑̍͌͛̔̔̎̈́̅̇̅͂̑͗͑̍̉͋͛̓͊͒̃̈́̓̈́̈́̕̕͘͘͠͠i̷̧̧̨̨̲̘͍̖̥̙̳̟̮͎͉͔̙͈̲̪͍͚̥̱̼̥̝̻̖̪̲̞͙̼̩̩͙̱͇̘̊̾͒͋̑̈́̐͆̈͛̈́̎̈́̊̄̄̎̀̃̀̃͛͐͂̈́̉̅́̌͐͊̈̒̑̒̑́̌̀̌̉͌̅̌̆̂͋̓̈́̕͠͠͝l̵̨̦̬̝̮͈͕̮͓̙͍͍̥͔̱̫̟̼̺͉̯̜͎̠͚̬͉̝̘͕̮͔̪̂̀̐̓͗̂̿̀͛͐͗̿̏̉̈͘̕̚͜͜ͅͅͅl̷̢̧̢̨̡̲̫͔̫̰̭̮̦̲͓͍̦̮̦͕̳̳̞̠̩̘̠̤̮͈͖̩̺͔̮͕͙̤̤̟̺̫̘͚̤̮̦͇̩͓͚̠͎͎̖͓̘̇̀̎̋͆̓̎͋͛͌͋̔̚͜͜͜ͅͅ ̶̟̱̰̰̭̹̺̪̯̣̱̳̔̾́̀̊̈͐́̈́͑̀̇̀͊̿̌͌ͅm̷̡̨̛̛͙͙̻͍̥̦̦̗͙̟̯͇͓̘͓̱̗͙͉̟͓̲͇̰͇̭͎͙͕̘̻̖̥̬̉̋͛͗̋͂͑͊͋̀̉̎͌̿̎̓̿̓̎͗̆̀̄̋́͛̊̔͆̅̑̿̾̿̅̄̀̈́̓̒̎̒͂̃̊̈́͐̈́̚͘̕͠͝͠͝e̵̯̟̻͉̹̬̱͎̼͇͇͇͙̅̅̃ͅ ̷̳̭̫̈̿̈͑̈́͝n̴̨̨̨̨̫̗͕͚̱͚̖͖͖̥̠̺͙̩̩͓͎͖̪̼̤̲̩̹̖̱͕̄́́̆͠ơ̴̡̳̜̠̖̼̖͔̥̍̇̒͂̈́͒̔͛͋͑̏̉̀̈́̌̂̎̉́̊̊̔͊̇̍̍̒̐͆̿̊̍̇͐̈́̉̈͌̔̈́̐̋̊̿̿̓̇̉͒̈̊̕͘͝͝͠͝͝ẅ̵̧̡̢̢̩͎̳̲̳̻̯̝̦̻̜̦̹̳͚͈͙̠̖̗͔̹̩̰̇͊̐̇̉̐̐̒̀͌̐̏́̿̂̄͘̚̚͝ͅk̷̡̧̛̛̹̤͍̙͈̩̩̱̗̦̹̭̦͍̼̦̪̮̰͕̥̦͍̘̠͇̬̦̝̲̱̣͉̞̜͉̪̀͒̏͌̂͋̎̈͗̈́̀̾̃́͒͌̽͂̔͋̓̉̊͑̍͌͛̔̔̎̈́̅̇̅͂̑͗͑̍̉͋͛̓͊͒̃̈́̓̈́̈́̕̕͘͘͠͠i̷̧̧̨̨̲̘͍̖̥̙̳̟̮͎͉͔̙͈̲̪͍͚̥̱̼̥̝̻̖̪̲̞͙̼̩̩͙̱͇̘̊̾͒͋̑̈́̐͆̈͛̈́̎̈́̊̄̄̎̀̃̀̃͛͐͂̈́̉̅́̌͐͊̈̒̑̒̑́̌̀̌̉͌̅̌̆̂͋̓̈́̕͠͠͝l̵̨̦̬̝̮͈͕̮͓̙͍͍̥͔̱̫̟̼̺͉̯̜͎̠͚̬͉̝̘͕̮͔̪̂̀̐̓͗̂̿̀͛͐͗̿̏̉̈͘̕̚͜͜ͅͅͅl̷̢̧̢̨̡̲̫͔̫̰̭̮̦̲͓͍̦̮̦͕̳̳̞̠̩̘̠̤̮͈͖̩̺͔̮͕͙̤̤̟̺̫̘͚̤̮̦͇̩͓͚̠͎͎̖͓̘̇̀̎̋͆̓̎͋͛͌͋̔̚͜͜͜ͅͅ ̶̟̱̰̰̭̹̺̪̯̣̱̳̔̾́̀̊̈͐́̈́͑̀̇̀͊̿̌͌ͅm̷̡̨̛̛͙͙̻͍̥̦̦̗͙̟̯͇͓̘͓̱̗͙͉̟͓̲͇̰͇̭͎͙͕̘̻̖̥̬̉̋͛͗̋͂͑͊͋̀̉̎͌̿̎̓̿̓̎͗̆̀̄̋́͛̊̔͆̅̑̿̾̿̅̄̀̈́̓̒̎̒͂̃̊̈́͐̈́̚͘̕͠͝͠͝e̵̯̟̻͉̹̬̱͎̼͇͇͇͙̅̅̃ͅ ̷̳̭̫̈̿̈͑̈́͝n̴̨̨̨̨̫̗͕͚̱͚̖͖͖̥̠̺͙̩̩͓͎͖̪̼̤̲̩̹̖̱͕̄́́̆͠ơ̴̡̳̜̠̖̼̖͔̥̍̇̒͂̈́͒̔͛͋͑̏̉̀̈́̌̂̎̉́̊̊̔͊̇̍̍̒̐͆̿̊̍̇͐̈́̉̈͌̔̈́̐̋̊̿̿̓̇̉͒̈̊̕͘͝͝͠͝͝ẅ̵̧̡̢̢̩͎̳̲̳̻̯̝̦̻̜̦̹̳͚͈͙̠̖̗͔̹̩̰̇͊̐̇̉̐̐̒̀͌̐̏́̿̂̄͘̚̚͝ͅk̷̡̧̛̛̹̤͍̙͈̩̩̱̗̦̹̭̦͍̼̦̪̮̰͕̥̦͍̘̠͇̬̦̝̲̱̣͉̞̜͉̪̀͒̏͌̂͋̎̈͗̈́̀̾̃́͒͌̽͂̔͋̓̉̊͑̍͌͛̔̔̎̈́̅̇̅͂̑͗͑̍̉͋͛̓͊͒̃̈́̓̈́̈́̕̕͘͘͠͠i̷̧̧̨̨̲̘͍̖̥̙̳̟̮͎͉͔̙͈̲̪͍͚̥̱̼̥̝̻̖̪̲̞͙̼̩̩͙̱͇̘̊̾͒͋̑̈́̐͆̈͛̈́̎̈́̊̄̄̎̀̃̀̃͛͐͂̈́̉̅́̌͐͊̈̒̑̒̑́̌̀̌̉͌̅̌̆̂͋̓̈́̕͠͠͝l̵̨̦̬̝̮͈͕̮͓̙͍͍̥͔̱̫̟̼̺͉̯̜͎̠͚̬͉̝̘͕̮͔̪̂̀̐̓͗̂̿̀͛͐͗̿̏̉̈͘̕̚͜͜ͅͅͅl̷̢̧̢̨̡̲̫͔̫̰̭̮̦̲͓͍̦̮̦͕̳̳̞̠̩̘̠̤̮͈͖̩̺͔̮͕͙̤̤̟̺̫̘͚̤̮̦͇̩͓͚̠͎͎̖͓̘̇̀̎̋͆̓̎͋͛͌͋̔̚͜͜͜ͅͅ ̶̟̱̰̰̭̹̺̪̯̣̱̳̔̾́̀̊̈͐́̈́͑̀̇̀͊̿̌͌ͅm̷̡̨̛̛͙͙̻͍̥̦̦̗͙̟̯͇͓̘͓̱̗͙͉̟͓̲͇̰͇̭͎͙͕̘̻̖̥̬̉̋͛͗̋͂͑͊͋̀̉̎͌̿̎̓̿̓̎͗̆̀̄̋́͛̊̔͆̅̑̿̾̿̅̄̀̈́̓̒̎̒͂̃̊̈́͐̈́̚͘̕͠͝͠͝e̵̯̟̻͉̹̬̱͎̼͇͇͇͙̅̅̃ͅ ̷̳̭̫̈̿̈͑̈́͝n̴̨̨̨̨̫̗͕͚̱͚̖͖͖̥̠̺͙̩̩͓͎͖̪̼̤̲̩̹̖̱͕̄́́̆͠ơ̴̡̳̜̠̖̼̖͔̥̍̇̒͂̈́͒̔͛͋͑̏̉̀̈́̌̂̎̉́̊̊̔͊̇̍̍̒̐͆̿̊̍̇͐̈́̉̈͌̔̈́̐̋̊̿̿̓̇̉͒̈̊̕͘͝͝͠͝͝ẅ̵̧̡̢̢̩͎̳̲̳̻̯̝̦̻̜̦̹̳͚͈͙̠̖̗͔̹̩̰̇͊̐̇̉̐̐̒̀͌̐̏́̿̂̄͘̚̚͝ͅk̷̡̧̛̛̹̤͍̙͈̩̩̱̗̦̹̭̦͍̼̦̪̮̰͕̥̦͍̘̠͇̬̦̝̲̱̣͉̞̜͉̪̀͒̏͌̂͋̎̈͗̈́̀̾̃́͒͌̽͂̔͋̓̉̊͑̍͌͛̔̔̎̈́̅̇̅͂̑͗͑̍̉͋͛̓͊͒̃̈́̓̈́̈́̕̕͘͘͠͠i̷̧̧̨̨̲̘͍̖̥̙̳̟̮͎͉͔̙͈̲̪͍͚̥̱̼̥̝̻̖̪̲̞͙̼̩̩͙̱͇̘̊̾͒͋̑̈́̐͆̈͛̈́̎̈́̊̄̄̎̀̃̀̃͛͐͂̈́̉̅́̌͐͊̈̒̑̒̑́̌̀̌̉͌̅̌̆̂͋̓̈́̕͠͠͝l̵̨̦̬̝̮͈͕̮͓̙͍͍̥͔̱̫̟̼̺͉̯̜͎̠͚̬͉̝̘͕̮͔̪̂̀̐̓͗̂̿̀͛͐͗̿̏̉̈͘̕̚͜͜ͅͅͅl̷̢̧̢̨̡̲̫͔̫̰̭̮̦̲͓͍̦̮̦͕̳̳̞̠̩̘̠̤̮͈͖̩̺͔̮͕͙̤̤̟̺̫̘͚̤̮̦͇̩͓͚̠͎͎̖͓̘̇̀̎̋͆̓̎͋͛͌͋̔̚͜͜͜ͅͅ ̶̟̱̰̰̭̹̺̪̯̣̱̳̔̾́̀̊̈͐́̈́͑̀̇̀͊̿̌͌ͅm̷̡̨̛̛͙͙̻͍̥̦̦̗͙̟̯͇͓̘͓̱̗͙͉̟͓̲͇̰͇̭͎͙͕̘̻̖̥̬̉̋͛͗̋͂͑͊͋̀̉̎͌̿̎̓̿̓̎͗̆̀̄̋́͛̊̔͆̅̑̿̾̿̅̄̀̈́̓̒̎̒͂̃̊̈́͐̈́̚͘̕͠͝͠͝e̵̯̟̻͉̹̬̱͎̼͇͇͇͙̅̅̃ͅ ̷̳̭̫̈̿̈͑̈́͝n̴̨̨̨̨̫̗͕͚̱͚̖͖͖̥̠̺͙̩̩͓͎͖̪̼̤̲̩̹̖̱͕̄́́̆͠ơ̴̡̳̜̠̖̼̖͔̥̍̇̒͂̈́͒̔͛͋͑̏̉̀̈́̌̂̎̉́̊̊̔͊̇̍̍̒̐͆̿̊̍̇͐̈́̉̈͌̔̈́̐̋̊̿̿̓̇̉͒̈̊̕͘͝͝͠͝͝ẅ̵̧̡̢̢̩͎̳̲̳̻̯̝̦̻̜̦̹̳͚͈͙̠̖̗͔̹̩̰̇͊̐̇̉̐̐̒̀͌̐̏́̿̂̄͘̚̚͝ͅk̷̡̧̛̛̹̤͍̙͈̩̩̱̗̦̹̭̦͍̼̦̪̮̰͕̥̦͍̘̠͇̬̦̝̲̱̣͉̞̜͉̪̀͒̏͌̂͋̎̈͗̈́̀̾̃́͒͌̽͂̔͋̓̉̊͑̍͌͛̔̔̎̈́̅̇̅͂̑͗͑̍̉͋͛̓͊͒̃̈́̓̈́̈́̕̕͘͘͠͠i̷̧̧̨̨̲̘͍̖̥̙̳̟̮͎͉͔̙͈̲̪͍͚̥̱̼̥̝̻̖̪̲̞͙̼̩̩͙̱͇̘̊̾͒͋̑̈́̐͆̈͛̈́̎̈́̊̄̄̎̀̃̀̃͛͐͂̈́̉̅́̌͐͊̈̒̑̒̑́̌̀̌̉͌̅̌̆̂͋̓̈́̕͠͠͝l̵̨̦̬̝̮͈͕̮͓̙͍͍̥͔̱̫̟̼̺͉̯̜͎̠͚̬͉̝̘͕̮͔̪̂̀̐̓͗̂̿̀͛͐͗̿̏̉̈͘̕̚͜͜ͅͅͅl̷̢̧̢̨̡̲̫͔̫̰̭̮̦̲͓͍̦̮̦͕̳̳̞̠̩̘̠̤̮͈͖̩̺͔̮͕͙̤̤̟̺̫̘͚̤̮̦͇̩͓͚̠͎͎̖͓̘̇̀̎̋͆̓̎͋͛͌͋̔̚͜͜͜ͅͅ ̶̟̱̰̰̭̹̺̪̯̣̱̳̔̾́̀̊̈͐́̈́͑̀̇̀͊̿̌͌ͅm̷̡̨̛̛͙͙̻͍̥̦̦̗͙̟̯͇͓̘͓̱̗͙͉̟͓̲͇̰͇̭͎͙͕̘̻̖̥̬̉̋͛͗̋͂͑͊͋̀̉̎͌̿̎̓̿̓̎͗̆̀̄̋́͛̊̔͆̅̑̿̾̿̅̄̀̈́̓̒̎̒͂̃̊̈́͐̈́̚͘̕͠͝͠͝e̵̯̟̻͉̹̬̱͎̼͇͇͇͙̅̅̃ͅ ̷̳̭̫̈̿̈͑̈́͝n̴̨̨̨̨̫̗͕͚̱͚̖͖͖̥̠̺͙̩̩͓͎͖̪̼̤̲̩̹̖̱͕̄́́̆͠ơ̴̡̳̜̠̖̼̖͔̥̍̇̒͂̈́͒̔͛͋͑̏̉̀̈́̌̂̎̉́̊̊̔͊̇̍̍̒̐͆̿̊̍̇͐̈́̉̈͌̔̈́̐̋̊̿̿̓̇̉͒̈̊̕͘͝͝͠͝͝ẅ̵̧̡̢̢̩͎̳̲̳̻̯̝̦̻̜̦̹̳͚͈͙̠̖̗͔̹̩̰̇͊̐̇̉̐̐̒̀͌̐̏́̿̂̄͘̚̚͝ͅk̷̡̧̛̛̹̤͍̙͈̩̩̱̗̦̹̭̦͍̼̦̪̮̰͕̥̦͍̘̠͇̬̦̝̲̱̣͉̞̜͉̪̀͒̏͌̂͋̎̈͗̈́̀̾̃́͒͌̽͂̔͋̓̉̊͑̍͌͛̔̔̎̈́̅̇̅͂̑͗͑̍̉͋͛̓͊͒̃̈́̓̈́̈́̕̕͘͘͠͠i̷̧̧̨̨̲̘͍̖̥̙̳̟̮͎͉͔̙͈̲̪͍͚̥̱̼̥̝̻̖̪̲̞͙̼̩̩͙̱͇̘̊̾͒͋̑̈́̐͆̈͛̈́̎̈́̊̄̄̎̀̃̀̃͛͐͂̈́̉̅́̌͐͊̈̒̑̒̑́̌̀̌̉͌̅̌̆̂͋̓̈́̕͠͠͝l̵̨̦̬̝̮͈͕̮͓̙͍͍̥͔̱̫̟̼̺͉̯̜͎̠͚̬͉̝̘͕̮͔̪̂̀̐̓͗̂̿̀͛͐͗̿̏̉̈͘̕̚͜͜ͅͅͅl̷̢̧̢̨̡̲̫͔̫̰̭̮̦̲͓͍̦̮̦͕̳̳̞̠̩̘̠̤̮͈͖̩̺͔̮͕͙̤̤̟̺̫̘͚̤̮̦͇̩͓͚̠͎͎̖͓̘̇̀̎̋͆̓̎͋͛͌͋̔̚͜͜͜ͅͅ ̶̟̱̰̰̭̹̺̪̯̣̱̳̔̾́̀̊̈͐́̈́͑̀̇̀͊̿̌͌ͅm̷̡̨̛̛͙͙̻͍̥̦̦̗͙̟̯͇͓̘͓̱̗͙͉̟͓̲͇̰͇̭͎͙͕̘̻̖̥̬̉̋͛͗̋͂͑͊͋̀̉̎͌̿̎̓̿̓̎͗̆̀̄̋́͛̊̔͆̅̑̿̾̿̅̄̀̈́̓̒̎̒͂̃̊̈́͐̈́̚͘̕͠͝͠͝e̵̯̟̻͉̹̬̱͎̼͇͇͇͙̅̅̃ͅ ̷̳̭̫̈̿̈͑̈́͝n̴̨̨̨̨̫̗͕͚̱͚̖͖͖̥̠̺͙̩̩͓͎͖̪̼̤̲̩̹̖̱͕̄́́̆͠ơ̴̡̳̜̠̖̼̖͔̥̍̇̒͂̈́͒̔͛͋͑̏̉̀̈́̌̂̎̉́̊̊̔͊̇̍̍̒̐͆̿̊̍̇͐̈́̉̈͌̔̈́̐̋̊̿̿̓̇̉͒̈̊̕͘͝͝͠͝͝ẅ̵̧̡̢̢̩͎̳̲̳̻̯̝̦̻̜̦̹̳͚͈͙̠̖̗͔̹̩̰̇͊̐̇̉̐̐̒̀͌̐̏́̿̂̄͘̚̚͝ͅk̷̡̧̛̛̹̤͍̙͈̩̩̱̗̦̹̭̦͍̼̦̪̮̰͕̥̦͍̘̠͇̬̦̝̲̱̣͉̞̜͉̪̀͒̏͌̂͋̎̈͗̈́̀̾̃́͒͌̽͂̔͋̓̉̊͑̍͌͛̔̔̎̈́̅̇̅͂̑͗͑̍̉͋͛̓͊͒̃̈́̓̈́̈́̕̕͘͘͠͠i̷̧̧̨̨̲̘͍̖̥̙̳̟̮͎͉͔̙͈̲̪͍͚̥̱̼̥̝̻̖̪̲̞͙̼̩̩͙̱͇̘̊̾͒͋̑̈́̐͆̈͛̈́̎̈́̊̄̄̎̀̃̀̃͛͐͂̈́̉̅́̌͐͊̈̒̑̒̑́̌̀̌̉͌̅̌̆̂͋̓̈́̕͠͠͝l̵̨̦̬̝̮͈͕̮͓̙͍͍̥͔̱̫̟̼̺͉̯̜͎̠͚̬͉̝̘͕̮͔̪̂̀̐̓͗̂̿̀͛͐͗̿̏̉̈͘̕̚͜͜ͅͅͅl̷̢̧̢̨̡̲̫͔̫̰̭̮̦̲͓͍̦̮̦͕̳̳̞̠̩̘̠̤̮͈͖̩̺͔̮͕͙̤̤̟̺̫̘͚̤̮̦͇̩͓͚̠͎͎̖͓̘̇̀̎̋͆̓̎͋͛͌͋̔̚͜͜͜ͅͅ ̶̟̱̰̰̭̹̺̪̯̣̱̳̔̾́̀̊̈͐́̈́͑̀̇̀͊̿̌͌ͅm̷̡̨̛̛͙͙̻͍̥̦̦̗͙̟̯͇͓̘͓̱̗͙͉̟͓̲͇̰͇̭͎͙͕̘̻̖̥̬̉̋͛͗̋͂͑͊͋̀̉̎͌̿̎̓̿̓̎͗̆̀̄̋́͛̊̔͆̅̑̿̾̿̅̄̀̈́̓̒̎̒͂̃̊̈́͐̈́̚͘̕͠͝͠͝e̵̯̟̻͉̹̬̱͎̼͇͇͇͙̅̅̃ͅ ̷̳̭̫̈̿̈͑̈́͝n̴̨̨̨̨̫̗͕͚̱͚̖͖͖̥̠̺͙̩̩͓͎͖̪̼̤̲̩̹̖̱͕̄́́̆͠ơ̴̡̳̜̠̖̼̖͔̥̍̇̒͂̈́͒̔͛͋͑̏̉̀̈́̌̂̎̉́̊̊̔͊̇̍̍̒̐͆̿̊̍̇͐̈́̉̈͌̔̈́̐̋̊̿̿̓̇̉͒̈̊̕͘͝͝͠͝͝ẅ̵̧̡̢̢̩͎̳̲̳̻̯̝̦̻̜̦̹̳͚͈͙̠̖̗͔̹̩̰̇͊̐̇̉̐̐̒̀͌̐̏́̿̂̄͘̚̚͝ͅk̷̡̧̛̛̹̤͍̙͈̩̩̱̗̦̹̭̦͍̼̦̪̮̰͕̥̦͍̘̠͇̬̦̝̲̱̣͉̞̜͉̪̀͒̏͌̂͋̎̈͗̈́̀̾̃́͒͌̽͂̔͋̓̉̊͑̍͌͛̔̔̎̈́̅̇̅͂̑͗͑̍̉͋͛̓͊͒̃̈́̓̈́̈́̕̕͘͘͠͠i̷̧̧̨̨̲̘͍̖̥̙̳̟̮͎͉͔̙͈̲̪͍͚̥̱̼̥̝̻̖̪̲̞͙̼̩̩͙̱͇̘̊̾͒͋̑̈́̐͆̈͛̈́̎̈́̊̄̄̎̀̃̀̃͛͐͂̈́̉̅́̌͐͊̈̒̑̒̑́̌̀̌̉͌̅̌̆̂͋̓̈́̕͠͠͝l̵̨̦̬̝̮͈͕̮͓̙͍͍̥͔̱̫̟̼̺͉̯̜͎̠͚̬͉̝̘͕̮͔̪̂̀̐̓͗̂̿̀͛͐͗̿̏̉̈͘̕̚͜͜ͅͅͅl̷̢̧̢̨̡̲̫͔̫̰̭̮̦̲͓͍̦̮̦͕̳̳̞̠̩̘̠̤̮͈͖̩̺͔̮͕͙̤̤̟̺̫̘͚̤̮̦͇̩͓͚̠͎͎̖͓̘̇̀̎̋͆̓̎͋͛͌͋̔̚͜͜͜ͅͅ ̶̟̱̰̰̭̹̺̪̯̣̱̳̔̾́̀̊̈͐́̈́͑̀̇̀͊̿̌͌ͅm̷̡̨̛̛͙͙̻͍̥̦̦̗͙̟̯͇͓̘͓̱̗͙͉̟͓̲͇̰͇̭͎͙͕̘̻̖̥̬̉̋͛͗̋͂͑͊͋̀̉̎͌̿̎̓̿̓̎͗̆̀̄̋́͛̊̔͆̅̑̿̾̿̅̄̀̈́̓̒̎̒͂̃̊̈́͐̈́̚͘̕͠͝͠͝e̵̯̟̻͉̹̬̱͎̼͇͇͇͙̅̅̃ͅ ̷̳̭̫̈̿̈͑̈́͝n̴̨̨̨̨̫̗͕͚̱͚̖͖͖̥̠̺͙̩̩͓͎͖̪̼̤̲̩̹̖̱͕̄́́̆͠ơ̴̡̳̜̠̖̼̖͔̥̍̇̒͂̈́͒̔͛͋͑̏̉̀̈́̌̂̎̉́̊̊̔͊̇̍̍̒̐͆̿̊̍̇͐̈́̉̈͌̔̈́̐̋̊̿̿̓̇̉͒̈̊̕͘͝͝͠͝͝ẅ̵̧̡̢̢̩͎̳̲̳̻̯̝̦̻̜̦̹̳͚͈͙̠̖̗͔̹̩̰̇͊̐̇̉̐̐̒̀͌̐̏́̿̂̄͘̚̚͝ͅk̷̡̧̛̛̹̤͍̙͈̩̩̱̗̦̹̭̦͍̼̦̪̮̰͕̥̦͍̘̠͇̬̦̝̲̱̣͉̞̜͉̪̀͒̏͌̂͋̎̈͗̈́̀̾̃́͒͌̽͂̔͋̓̉̊͑̍͌͛̔̔̎̈́̅̇̅͂̑͗͑̍̉͋͛̓͊͒̃̈́̓̈́̈́̕̕͘͘͠͠i̷̧̧̨̨̲̘͍̖̥̙̳̟̮͎͉͔̙͈̲̪͍͚̥̱̼̥̝̻̖̪̲̞͙̼̩̩͙̱͇̘̊̾͒͋̑̈́̐͆̈͛̈́̎̈́̊̄̄̎̀̃̀̃͛͐͂̈́̉̅́̌͐͊̈̒̑̒̑́̌̀̌̉͌̅̌̆̂͋̓̈́̕͠͠͝l̵̨̦̬̝̮͈͕̮͓̙͍͍̥͔̱̫̟̼̺͉̯̜͎̠͚̬͉̝̘͕̮͔̪̂̀̐̓͗̂̿̀͛͐͗̿̏̉̈͘̕̚͜͜ͅͅͅl̷̢̧̢̨̡̲̫͔̫̰̭̮̦̲͓͍̦̮̦͕̳̳̞̠̩̘̠̤̮͈͖̩̺͔̮͕͙̤̤̟̺̫̘͚̤̮̦͇̩͓͚̠͎͎̖͓̘̇̀̎̋͆̓̎͋͛͌͋̔̚͜͜͜ͅͅ ̶̟̱̰̰̭̹̺̪̯̣̱̳̔̾́̀̊̈͐́̈́͑̀̇̀͊̿̌͌ͅm̷̡̨̛̛͙͙̻͍̥̦̦̗͙̟̯͇͓̘͓̱̗͙͉̟͓̲͇̰͇̭͎͙͕̘̻̖̥̬̉̋͛͗̋͂͑͊͋̀̉̎͌̿̎̓̿̓̎͗̆̀̄̋́͛̊̔͆̅̑̿̾̿̅̄̀̈́̓̒̎̒͂̃̊̈́͐̈́̚͘̕͠͝͠͝e̵̯̟̻͉̹̬̱͎̼͇͇͇͙̅̅̃ͅ ̷̳̭̫̈̿̈͑̈́͝n̴̨̨̨̨̫̗͕͚̱͚̖͖͖̥̠̺͙̩̩͓͎͖̪̼̤̲̩̹̖̱͕̄́́̆͠ơ̴̡̳̜̠̖̼̖͔̥̍̇̒͂̈́͒̔͛͋͑̏̉̀̈́̌̂̎̉́̊̊̔͊̇̍̍̒̐͆̿̊̍̇͐̈́̉̈͌̔̈́̐̋̊̿̿̓̇̉͒̈̊̕͘͝͝͠͝͝ẅ̵̧̡̢̢̩͎̳̲̳̻̯̝̦̻̜̦̹̳͚͈͙̠̖̗͔̹̩̰̇͊̐̇̉̐̐̒̀͌̐̏́̿̂̄͘̚̚͝ͅk̷̡̧̛̛̹̤͍̙͈̩̩̱̗̦̹̭̦͍̼̦̪̮̰͕̥̦͍̘̠͇̬̦̝̲̱̣͉̞̜͉̪̀͒̏͌̂͋̎̈͗̈́̀̾̃́͒͌̽͂̔͋̓̉̊͑̍͌͛̔̔̎̈́̅̇̅͂̑͗͑̍̉͋͛̓͊͒̃̈́̓̈́̈́̕̕͘͘͠͠i̷̧̧̨̨̲̘͍̖̥̙̳̟̮͎͉͔̙͈̲̪͍͚̥̱̼̥̝̻̖̪̲̞͙̼̩̩͙̱͇̘̊̾͒͋̑̈́̐͆̈͛̈́̎̈́̊̄̄̎̀̃̀̃͛͐͂̈́̉̅́̌͐͊̈̒̑̒̑́̌̀̌̉͌̅̌̆̂͋̓̈́̕͠͠͝l̵̨̦̬̝̮͈͕̮͓̙͍͍̥͔̱̫̟̼̺͉̯̜͎̠͚̬͉̝̘͕̮͔̪̂̀̐̓͗̂̿̀͛͐͗̿̏̉̈͘̕̚͜͜ͅͅͅl̷̢̧̢̨̡̲̫͔̫̰̭̮̦̲͓͍̦̮̦͕̳̳̞̠̩̘̠̤̮͈͖̩̺͔̮͕͙̤̤̟̺̫̘͚̤̮̦͇̩͓͚̠͎͎̖͓̘̇̀̎̋͆̓̎͋͛͌͋̔̚͜͜͜ͅͅ ̶̟̱̰̰̭̹̺̪̯̣̱̳̔̾́̀̊̈͐́̈́͑̀̇̀͊̿̌͌ͅm̷̡̨̛̛͙͙̻͍̥̦̦̗͙̟̯͇͓̘͓̱̗͙͉̟͓̲͇̰͇̭͎͙͕̘̻̖̥̬̉̋͛͗̋͂͑͊͋̀̉̎͌̿̎̓̿̓̎͗̆̀̄̋́͛̊̔͆̅̑̿̾̿̅̄̀̈́̓̒̎̒͂̃̊̈́͐̈́̚͘̕͠͝͠͝e̵̯̟̻͉̹̬̱͎̼͇͇͇͙̅̅̃ͅ ̷̳̭̫̈̿̈͑̈́͝n̴̨̨̨̨̫̗͕͚̱͚̖͖͖̥̠̺͙̩̩͓͎͖̪̼̤̲̩̹̖̱͕̄́́̆͠ơ̴̡̳̜̠̖̼̖͔̥̍̇̒͂̈́͒̔͛͋͑̏̉̀̈́̌̂̎̉́̊̊̔͊̇̍̍̒̐͆̿̊̍̇͐̈́̉̈͌̔̈́̐̋̊̿̿̓̇̉͒̈̊̕͘͝͝͠͝͝ẅ̵̧̡̢̢̩͎̳̲̳̻̯̝̦̻̜̦̹̳͚͈͙̠̖̗͔̹̩̰̇͊̐̇̉̐̐̒̀͌̐̏́̿̂̄͘̚̚͝ͅk̷̡̧̛̛̹̤͍̙͈̩̩̱̗̦̹̭̦͍̼̦̪̮̰͕̥̦͍̘̠͇̬̦̝̲̱̣͉̞̜͉̪̀͒̏͌̂͋̎̈͗̈́̀̾̃́͒͌̽͂̔͋̓̉̊͑̍͌͛̔̔̎̈́̅̇̅͂̑͗͑̍̉͋͛̓͊͒̃̈́̓̈́̈́̕̕͘͘͠͠i̷̧̧̨̨̲̘͍̖̥̙̳̟̮͎͉͔̙͈̲̪͍͚̥̱̼̥̝̻̖̪̲̞͙̼̩̩͙̱͇̘̊̾͒͋̑̈́̐͆̈͛̈́̎̈́̊̄̄̎̀̃̀̃͛͐͂̈́̉̅́̌͐͊̈̒̑̒̑́̌̀̌̉͌̅̌̆̂͋̓̈́̕͠͠͝l̵̨̦̬̝̮͈͕̮͓̙͍͍̥͔̱̫̟̼̺͉̯̜͎̠͚̬͉̝̘͕̮͔̪̂̀̐̓͗̂̿̀͛͐͗̿̏̉̈͘̕̚͜͜ͅͅͅl̷̢̧̢̨̡̲̫͔̫̰̭̮̦̲͓͍̦̮̦͕̳̳̞̠̩̘̠̤̮͈͖̩̺͔̮͕͙̤̤̟̺̫̘͚̤̮̦͇̩͓͚̠͎͎̖͓̘̇̀̎̋͆̓̎͋͛͌͋̔̚͜͜͜ͅͅ ̶̟̱̰̰̭̹̺̪̯̣̱̳̔̾́̀̊̈͐́̈́͑̀̇̀͊̿̌͌ͅm̷̡̨̛̛͙͙̻͍̥̦̦̗͙̟̯͇͓̘͓̱̗͙͉̟͓̲͇̰͇̭͎͙͕̘̻̖̥̬̉̋͛͗̋͂͑͊͋̀̉̎͌̿̎̓̿̓̎͗̆̀̄̋́͛̊̔͆̅̑̿̾̿̅̄̀̈́̓̒̎̒͂̃̊̈́͐̈́̚͘̕͠͝͠͝e̵̯̟̻͉̹̬̱͎̼͇͇͇͙̅̅̃ͅ ̷̳̭̫̈̿̈͑̈́͝n̴̨̨̨̨̫̗͕͚̱͚̖͖͖̥̠̺͙̩̩͓͎͖̪̼̤̲̩̹̖̱͕̄́́̆͠ơ̴̡̳̜̠̖̼̖͔̥̍̇̒͂̈́͒̔͛͋͑̏̉̀̈́̌̂̎̉́̊̊̔͊̇̍̍̒̐͆̿̊̍̇͐̈́̉̈͌̔̈́̐̋̊̿̿̓̇̉͒̈̊̕͘͝͝͠͝͝ẅ̵̧̡̢̢̩͎̳̲̳̻̯̝̦̻̜̦̹̳͚͈͙̠̖̗͔̹̩̰̇͊̐̇̉̐̐̒̀͌̐̏́̿̂̄͘̚̚͝ͅk̷̡̧̛̛̹̤͍̙͈̩̩̱̗̦̹̭̦͍̼̦̪̮̰͕̥̦͍̘̠͇̬̦̝̲̱̣͉̞̜͉̪̀͒̏͌̂͋̎̈͗̈́̀̾̃́͒͌̽͂̔͋̓̉̊͑̍͌͛̔̔̎̈́̅̇̅͂̑͗͑̍̉͋͛̓͊͒̃̈́̓̈́̈́̕̕͘͘͠͠i̷̧̧̨̨̲̘͍̖̥̙̳̟̮͎͉͔̙͈̲̪͍͚̥̱̼̥̝̻̖̪̲̞͙̼̩̩͙̱͇̘̊̾͒͋̑̈́̐͆̈͛̈́̎̈́̊̄̄̎̀̃̀̃͛͐͂̈́̉̅́̌͐͊̈̒̑̒̑́̌̀̌̉͌̅̌̆̂͋̓̈́̕͠͠͝l̵̨̦̬̝̮͈͕̮͓̙͍͍̥͔̱̫̟̼̺͉̯̜͎̠͚̬͉̝̘͕̮͔̪̂̀̐̓͗̂̿̀͛͐͗̿̏̉̈͘̕̚͜͜ͅͅͅl̷̢̧̢̨̡̲̫͔̫̰̭̮̦̲͓͍̦̮̦͕̳̳̞̠̩̘̠̤̮͈͖̩̺͔̮͕͙̤̤̟̺̫̘͚̤̮̦͇̩͓͚̠͎͎̖͓̘̇̀̎̋͆̓̎͋͛͌͋̔̚͜͜͜ͅͅ ̶̟̱̰̰̭̹̺̪̯̣̱̳̔̾́̀̊̈͐́̈́͑̀̇̀͊̿̌͌ͅm̷̡̨̛̛͙͙̻͍̥̦̦̗͙̟̯͇͓̘͓̱̗͙͉̟͓̲͇̰͇̭͎͙͕̘̻̖̥̬̉̋͛͗̋͂͑͊͋̀̉̎͌̿̎̓̿̓̎͗̆̀̄̋́͛̊̔͆̅̑̿̾̿̅̄̀̈́̓̒̎̒͂̃̊̈́͐̈́̚͘̕͠͝͠͝e̵̯̟̻͉̹̬̱͎̼͇͇͇͙̅̅̃ͅ ̷̳̭̫̈̿̈͑̈́͝n̴̨̨̨̨̫̗͕͚̱͚̖͖͖̥̠̺͙̩̩͓͎͖̪̼̤̲̩̹̖̱͕̄́́̆͠ơ̴̡̳̜̠̖̼̖͔̥̍̇̒͂̈́͒̔͛͋͑̏̉̀̈́̌̂̎̉́̊̊̔͊̇̍̍̒̐͆̿̊̍̇͐̈́̉̈͌̔̈́̐̋̊̿̿̓̇̉͒̈̊̕͘͝͝͠͝͝ẅ̵̧̡̢̢̩͎̳̲̳̻̯̝̦̻̜̦̹̳͚͈͙̠̖̗͔̹̩̰̇͊̐̇̉̐̐̒̀͌̐̏́̿̂̄͘̚̚͝ͅk̷̡̧̛̛̹̤͍̙͈̩̩̱̗̦̹̭̦͍̼̦̪̮̰͕̥̦͍̘̠͇̬̦̝̲̱̣͉̞̜͉̪̀͒̏͌̂͋̎̈͗̈́̀̾̃́͒͌̽͂̔͋̓̉̊͑̍͌͛̔̔̎̈́̅̇̅͂̑͗͑̍̉͋͛̓͊͒̃̈́̓̈́̈́̕̕͘͘͠͠i̷̧̧̨̨̲̘͍̖̥̙̳̟̮͎͉͔̙͈̲̪͍͚̥̱̼̥̝̻̖̪̲̞͙̼̩̩͙̱͇̘̊̾͒͋̑̈́̐͆̈͛̈́̎̈́̊̄̄̎̀̃̀̃͛͐͂̈́̉̅́̌͐͊̈̒̑̒̑́̌̀̌̉͌̅̌̆̂͋̓̈́̕͠͠͝l̵̨̦̬̝̮͈͕̮͓̙͍͍̥͔̱̫̟̼̺͉̯̜͎̠͚̬͉̝̘͕̮͔̪̂̀̐̓͗̂̿̀͛͐͗̿̏̉̈͘̕̚͜͜ͅͅͅl̷̢̧̢̨̡̲̫͔̫̰̭̮̦̲͓͍̦̮̦͕̳̳̞̠̩̘̠̤̮͈͖̩̺͔̮͕͙̤̤̟̺̫̘͚̤̮̦͇̩͓͚̠͎͎̖͓̘̇̀̎̋͆̓̎͋͛͌͋̔̚͜͜͜ͅͅ ̶̟̱̰̰̭̹̺̪̯̣̱̳̔̾́̀̊̈͐́̈́͑̀̇̀͊̿̌͌ͅm̷̡̨̛̛͙͙̻͍̥̦̦̗͙̟̯͇͓̘͓̱̗͙͉̟͓̲͇̰͇̭͎͙͕̘̻̖̥̬̉̋͛͗̋͂͑͊͋̀̉̎͌̿̎̓̿̓̎͗̆̀̄̋́͛̊̔͆̅̑̿̾̿̅̄̀̈́̓̒̎̒͂̃̊̈́͐̈́̚͘̕͠͝͠͝e̵̯̟̻͉̹̬̱͎̼͇͇͇͙̅̅̃ͅ ̷̳̭̫̈̿̈͑̈́͝n̴̨̨̨̨̫̗͕͚̱͚̖͖͖̥̠̺͙̩̩͓͎͖̪̼̤̲̩̹̖̱͕̄́́̆͠ơ̴̡̳̜̠̖̼̖͔̥̍̇̒͂̈́͒̔͛͋͑̏̉̀̈́̌̂̎̉́̊̊̔͊̇̍̍̒̐͆̿̊̍̇͐̈́̉̈͌̔̈́̐̋̊̿̿̓̇̉͒̈̊̕͘͝͝͠͝͝ẅ̵̧̡̢̢̩͎̳̲̳̻̯̝̦̻̜̦̹̳͚͈͙̠̖̗͔̹̩̰̇͊̐̇̉̐̐̒̀͌̐̏́̿̂̄͘̚̚͝ͅk̷̡̧̛̛̹̤͍̙͈̩̩̱̗̦̹̭̦͍̼̦̪̮̰͕̥̦͍̘̠͇̬̦̝̲̱̣͉̞̜͉̪̀͒̏͌̂͋̎̈͗̈́̀̾̃́͒͌̽͂̔͋̓̉̊͑̍͌͛̔̔̎̈́̅̇̅͂̑͗͑̍̉͋͛̓͊͒̃̈́̓̈́̈́̕̕͘͘͠͠i̷̧̧̨̨̲̘͍̖̥̙̳̟̮͎͉͔̙͈̲̪͍͚̥̱̼̥̝̻̖̪̲̞͙̼̩̩͙̱͇̘̊̾͒͋̑̈́̐͆̈͛̈́̎̈́̊̄̄̎̀̃̀̃͛͐͂̈́̉̅́̌͐͊̈̒̑̒̑́̌̀̌̉͌̅̌̆̂͋̓̈́̕͠͠͝l̵̨̦̬̝̮͈͕̮͓̙͍͍̥͔̱̫̟̼̺͉̯̜͎̠͚̬͉̝̘͕̮͔̪̂̀̐̓͗̂̿̀͛͐͗̿̏̉̈͘̕̚͜͜ͅͅͅl̷̢̧̢̨̡̲̫͔̫̰̭̮̦̲͓͍̦̮̦͕̳̳̞̠̩̘̠̤̮͈͖̩̺͔̮͕͙̤̤̟̺̫̘͚̤̮̦͇̩͓͚̠͎͎̖͓̘̇̀̎̋͆̓̎͋͛͌͋̔̚͜͜͜ͅͅ ̶̟̱̰̰̭̹̺̪̯̣̱̳̔̾́̀̊̈͐́̈́͑̀̇̀͊̿̌͌ͅm̷̡̨̛̛͙͙̻͍̥̦̦̗͙̟̯͇͓̘͓̱̗͙͉̟͓̲͇̰͇̭͎͙͕̘̻̖̥̬̉̋͛͗̋͂͑͊͋̀̉̎͌̿̎̓̿̓̎͗̆̀̄̋́͛̊̔͆̅̑̿̾̿̅̄̀̈́̓̒̎̒͂̃̊̈́͐̈́̚͘̕͠͝͠͝e̵̯̟̻͉̹̬̱͎̼͇͇͇͙̅̅̃ͅ ̷̳̭̫̈̿̈͑̈́͝n̴̨̨̨̨̫̗͕͚̱͚̖͖͖̥̠̺͙̩̩͓͎͖̪̼̤̲̩̹̖̱͕̄́́̆͠ơ̴̡̳̜̠̖̼̖͔̥̍̇̒͂̈́͒̔͛͋͑̏̉̀̈́̌̂̎̉́̊̊̔͊̇̍̍̒̐͆̿̊̍̇͐̈́̉̈͌̔̈́̐̋̊̿̿̓̇̉͒̈̊̕͘͝͝͠͝͝ẅ̵̧̡̢̢̩͎̳̲̳̻̯̝̦̻̜̦̹̳͚͈͙̠̖̗͔̹̩̰̇͊̐̇̉̐̐̒̀͌̐̏́̿̂̄͘̚̚͝ͅk̷̡̧̛̛̹̤͍̙͈̩̩̱̗̦̹̭̦͍̼̦̪̮̰͕̥̦͍̘̠͇̬̦̝̲̱̣͉̞̜͉̪̀͒̏͌̂͋̎̈͗̈́̀̾̃́͒͌̽͂̔͋̓̉̊͑̍͌͛̔̔̎̈́̅̇̅͂̑͗͑̍̉͋͛̓͊͒̃̈́̓̈́̈́̕̕͘͘͠͠i̷̧̧̨̨̲̘͍̖̥̙̳̟̮͎͉͔̙͈̲̪͍͚̥̱̼̥̝̻̖̪̲̞͙̼̩̩͙̱͇̘̊̾͒͋̑̈́̐͆̈͛̈́̎̈́̊̄̄̎̀̃̀̃͛͐͂̈́̉̅́̌͐͊̈̒̑̒̑́̌̀̌̉͌̅̌̆̂͋̓̈́̕͠͠͝l̵̨̦̬̝̮͈͕̮͓̙͍͍̥͔̱̫̟̼̺͉̯̜͎̠͚̬͉̝̘͕̮͔̪̂̀̐̓͗̂̿̀͛͐͗̿̏̉̈͘̕̚͜͜ͅͅͅl̷̢̧̢̨̡̲̫͔̫̰̭̮̦̲͓͍̦̮̦͕̳̳̞̠̩̘̠̤̮͈͖̩̺͔̮͕͙̤̤̟̺̫̘͚̤̮̦͇̩͓͚̠͎͎̖͓̘̇̀̎̋͆̓̎͋͛͌͋̔̚͜͜͜ͅͅ ̶̟̱̰̰̭̹̺̪̯̣̱̳̔̾́̀̊̈͐́̈́͑̀̇̀͊̿̌͌ͅm̷̡̨̛̛͙͙̻͍̥̦̦̗͙̟̯͇͓̘͓̱̗͙͉̟͓̲͇̰͇̭͎͙͕̘̻̖̥̬̉̋͛͗̋͂͑͊͋̀̉̎͌̿̎̓̿̓̎͗̆̀̄̋́͛̊̔͆̅̑̿̾̿̅̄̀̈́̓̒̎̒͂̃̊̈́͐̈́̚͘̕͠͝͠͝e̵̯̟̻͉̹̬̱͎̼͇͇͇͙̅̅̃ͅ ̷̳̭̫̈̿̈͑̈́͝n̴̨̨̨̨̫̗͕͚̱͚̖͖͖̥̠̺͙̩̩͓͎͖̪̼̤̲̩̹̖̱͕̄́́̆͠ơ̴̡̳̜̠̖̼̖͔̥̍̇̒͂̈́͒̔͛͋͑̏̉̀̈́̌̂̎̉́̊̊̔͊̇̍̍̒̐͆̿̊̍̇͐̈́̉̈͌̔̈́̐̋̊̿̿̓̇̉͒̈̊̕͘͝͝͠͝͝ẅ̵̧̡̢̢̩͎̳̲̳̻̯̝̦̻̜̦̹̳͚͈͙̠̖̗͔̹̩̰̇͊̐̇̉̐̐̒̀͌̐̏́̿̂̄͘̚̚͝ͅk̷̡̧̛̛̹̤͍̙͈̩̩̱̗̦̹̭̦͍̼̦̪̮̰͕̥̦͍̘̠͇̬̦̝̲̱̣͉̞̜͉̪̀͒̏͌̂͋̎̈͗̈́̀̾̃́͒͌̽͂̔͋̓̉̊͑̍͌͛̔̔̎̈́̅̇̅͂̑͗͑̍̉͋͛̓͊͒̃̈́̓̈́̈́̕̕͘͘͠͠i̷̧̧̨̨̲̘͍̖̥̙̳̟̮͎͉͔̙͈̲̪͍͚̥̱̼̥̝̻̖̪̲̞͙̼̩̩͙̱͇̘̊̾͒͋̑̈́̐͆̈͛̈́̎̈́̊̄̄̎̀̃̀̃͛͐͂̈́̉̅́̌͐͊̈̒̑̒̑́̌̀̌̉͌̅̌̆̂͋̓̈́̕͠͠͝l̵̨̦̬̝̮͈͕̮͓̙͍͍̥͔̱̫̟̼̺͉̯̜͎̠͚̬͉̝̘͕̮͔̪̂̀̐̓͗̂̿̀͛͐͗̿̏̉̈͘̕̚͜͜ͅͅͅl̷̢̧̢̨̡̲̫͔̫̰̭̮̦̲͓͍̦̮̦͕̳̳̞̠̩̘̠̤̮͈͖̩̺͔̮͕͙̤̤̟̺̫̘͚̤̮̦͇̩͓͚̠͎͎̖͓̘̇̀̎̋͆̓̎͋͛͌͋̔̚͜͜͜ͅͅ ̶̟̱̰̰̭̹̺̪̯̣̱̳̔̾́̀̊̈͐́̈́͑̀̇̀͊̿̌͌ͅm̷̡̨̛̛͙͙̻͍̥̦̦̗͙̟̯͇͓̘͓̱̗͙͉̟͓̲͇̰͇̭͎͙͕̘̻̖̥̬̉̋͛͗̋͂͑͊͋̀̉̎͌̿̎̓̿̓̎͗̆̀̄̋́͛̊̔͆̅̑̿̾̿̅̄̀̈́̓̒̎̒͂̃̊̈́͐̈́̚͘̕͠͝͠͝e̵̯̟̻͉̹̬̱͎̼͇͇͇͙̅̅̃ͅ ̷̳̭̫̈̿̈͑̈́͝n̴̨̨̨̨̫̗͕͚̱͚̖͖͖̥̠̺͙̩̩͓͎͖̪̼̤̲̩̹̖̱͕̄́́̆͠ơ̴̡̳̜̠̖̼̖͔̥̍̇̒͂̈́͒̔͛͋͑̏̉̀̈́̌̂̎̉́̊̊̔͊̇̍̍̒̐͆̿̊̍̇͐̈́̉̈͌̔̈́̐̋̊̿̿̓̇̉͒̈̊̕͘͝͝͠͝͝ẅ̵̧̡̢̢̩͎̳̲̳̻̯̝̦̻̜̦̹̳͚͈͙̠̖̗͔̹̩̰̇͊̐̇̉̐̐̒̀͌̐̏́̿̂̄͘̚̚͝ͅk̷̡̧̛̛̹̤͍̙͈̩̩̱̗̦̹̭̦͍̼̦̪̮̰͕̥̦͍̘̠͇̬̦̝̲̱̣͉̞̜͉̪̀͒̏͌̂͋̎̈͗̈́̀̾̃́͒͌̽͂̔͋̓̉̊͑̍͌͛̔̔̎̈́̅̇̅͂̑͗͑̍̉͋͛̓͊͒̃̈́̓̈́̈́̕̕͘͘͠͠i̷̧̧̨̨̲̘͍̖̥̙̳̟̮͎͉͔̙͈̲̪͍͚̥̱̼̥̝̻̖̪̲̞͙̼̩̩͙̱͇̘̊̾͒͋̑̈́̐͆̈͛̈́̎̈́̊̄̄̎̀̃̀̃͛͐͂̈́̉̅́̌͐͊̈̒̑̒̑́̌̀̌̉͌̅̌̆̂͋̓̈́̕͠͠͝l̵̨̦̬̝̮͈͕̮͓̙͍͍̥͔̱̫̟̼̺͉̯̜͎̠͚̬͉̝̘͕̮͔̪̂̀̐̓͗̂̿̀͛͐͗̿̏̉̈͘̕̚͜͜ͅͅͅl̷̢̧̢̨̡̲̫͔̫̰̭̮̦̲͓͍̦̮̦͕̳̳̞̠̩̘̠̤̮͈͖̩̺͔̮͕͙̤̤̟̺̫̘͚̤̮̦͇̩͓͚̠͎͎̖͓̘̇̀̎̋͆̓̎͋͛͌͋̔̚͜͜͜ͅͅ ̶̟̱̰̰̭̹̺̪̯̣̱̳̔̾́̀̊̈͐́̈́͑̀̇̀͊̿̌͌ͅm̷̡̨̛̛͙͙̻͍̥̦̦̗͙̟̯͇͓̘͓̱̗͙͉̟͓̲͇̰͇̭͎͙͕̘̻̖̥̬̉̋͛͗̋͂͑͊͋̀̉̎͌̿̎̓̿̓̎͗̆̀̄̋́͛̊̔͆̅̑̿̾̿̅̄̀̈́̓̒̎̒͂̃̊̈́͐̈́̚͘̕͠͝͠͝e̵̯̟̻͉̹̬̱͎̼͇͇͇͙̅̅̃ͅ ̷̳̭̫̈̿̈͑̈́͝n̴̨̨̨̨̫̗͕͚̱͚̖͖͖̥̠̺͙̩̩͓͎͖̪̼̤̲̩̹̖̱͕̄́́̆͠ơ̴̡̳̜̠̖̼̖͔̥̍̇̒͂̈́͒̔͛͋͑̏̉̀̈́̌̂̎̉́̊̊̔͊̇̍̍̒̐͆̿̊̍̇͐̈́̉̈͌̔̈́̐̋̊̿̿̓̇̉͒̈̊̕͘͝͝͠͝͝ẅ̵̧̡̢̢̩͎̳̲̳̻̯̝̦̻̜̦̹̳͚͈͙̠̖̗͔̹̩̰̇͊̐̇̉̐̐̒̀͌̐̏́̿̂̄͘̚̚͝ͅk̷̡̧̛̛̹̤͍̙͈̩̩̱̗̦̹̭̦͍̼̦̪̮̰͕̥̦͍̘̠͇̬̦̝̲̱̣͉̞̜͉̪̀͒̏͌̂͋̎̈͗̈́̀̾̃́͒͌̽͂̔͋̓̉̊͑̍͌͛̔̔̎̈́̅̇̅͂̑͗͑̍̉͋͛̓͊͒̃̈́̓̈́̈́̕̕͘͘͠͠i̷̧̧̨̨̲̘͍̖̥̙̳̟̮͎͉͔̙͈̲̪͍͚̥̱̼̥̝̻̖̪̲̞͙̼̩̩͙̱͇̘̊̾͒͋̑̈́̐͆̈͛̈́̎̈́̊̄̄̎̀̃̀̃͛͐͂̈́̉̅́̌͐͊̈̒̑̒̑́̌̀̌̉͌̅̌̆̂͋̓̈́̕͠͠͝l̵̨̦̬̝̮͈͕̮͓̙͍͍̥͔̱̫̟̼̺͉̯̜͎̠͚̬͉̝̘͕̮͔̪̂̀̐̓͗̂̿̀͛͐͗̿̏̉̈͘̕̚͜͜ͅͅͅl̷̢̧̢̨̡̲̫͔̫̰̭̮̦̲͓͍̦̮̦͕̳̳̞̠̩̘̠̤̮͈͖̩̺͔̮͕͙̤̤̟̺̫̘͚̤̮̦͇̩͓͚̠͎͎̖͓̘̇̀̎̋͆̓̎͋͛͌͋̔̚͜͜͜ͅͅ ̶̟̱̰̰̭̹̺̪̯̣̱̳̔̾́̀̊̈͐́̈́͑̀̇̀͊̿̌͌ͅm̷̡̨̛̛͙͙̻͍̥̦̦̗͙̟̯͇͓̘͓̱̗͙͉̟͓̲͇̰͇̭͎͙͕̘̻̖̥̬̉̋͛͗̋͂͑͊͋̀̉̎͌̿̎̓̿̓̎͗̆̀̄̋́͛̊̔͆̅̑̿̾̿̅̄̀̈́̓̒̎̒͂̃̊̈́͐̈́̚͘̕͠͝͠͝e̵̯̟̻͉̹̬̱͎̼͇͇͇͙̅̅̃ͅ ̷̳̭̫̈̿̈͑̈́͝n̴̨̨̨̨̫̗͕͚̱͚̖͖͖̥̠̺͙̩̩͓͎͖̪̼̤̲̩̹̖̱͕̄́́̆͠ơ̴̡̳̜̠̖̼̖͔̥̍̇̒͂̈́͒̔͛͋͑̏̉̀̈́̌̂̎̉́̊̊̔͊̇̍̍̒̐͆̿̊̍̇͐̈́̉̈͌̔̈́̐̋̊̿̿̓̇̉͒̈̊̕͘͝͝͠͝͝ẅ̵̧̡̢̢̩͎̳̲̳̻̯̝̦̻̜̦̹̳͚͈͙̠̖̗͔̹̩̰̇͊̐̇̉̐̐̒̀͌̐̏́̿̂̄͘̚̚͝ͅk̷̡̧̛̛̹̤͍̙͈̩̩̱̗̦̹̭̦͍̼̦̪̮̰͕̥̦͍̘̠͇̬̦̝̲̱̣͉̞̜͉̪̀͒̏͌̂͋̎̈͗̈́̀̾̃́͒͌̽͂̔͋̓̉̊͑̍͌͛̔̔̎̈́̅̇̅͂̑͗͑̍̉͋͛̓͊͒̃̈́̓̈́̈́̕̕͘͘͠͠i̷̧̧̨̨̲̘͍̖̥̙̳̟̮͎͉͔̙͈̲̪͍͚̥̱̼̥̝̻̖̪̲̞͙̼̩̩͙̱͇̘̊̾͒͋̑̈́̐͆̈͛̈́̎̈́̊̄̄̎̀̃̀̃͛͐͂̈́̉̅́̌͐͊̈̒̑̒̑́̌̀̌̉͌̅̌̆̂͋̓̈́̕͠͠͝l̵̨̦̬̝̮͈͕̮͓̙͍͍̥͔̱̫̟̼̺͉̯̜͎̠͚̬͉̝̘͕̮͔̪̂̀̐̓͗̂̿̀͛͐͗̿̏̉̈͘̕̚͜͜ͅͅͅl̷̢̧̢̨̡̲̫͔̫̰̭̮̦̲͓͍̦̮̦͕̳̳̞̠̩̘̠̤̮͈͖̩̺͔̮͕͙̤̤̟̺̫̘͚̤̮̦͇̩͓͚̠͎͎̖͓̘̇̀̎̋͆̓̎͋͛͌͋̔̚͜͜͜ͅͅ ̶̟̱̰̰̭̹̺̪̯̣̱̳̔̾́̀̊̈͐́̈́͑̀̇̀͊̿̌͌ͅm̷̡̨̛̛͙͙̻͍̥̦̦̗͙̟̯͇͓̘͓̱̗͙͉̟͓̲͇̰͇̭͎͙͕̘̻̖̥̬̉̋͛͗̋͂͑͊͋̀̉̎͌̿̎̓̿̓̎͗̆̀̄̋́͛̊̔͆̅̑̿̾̿̅̄̀̈́̓̒̎̒͂̃̊̈́͐̈́̚͘̕͠͝͠͝e̵̯̟̻͉̹̬̱͎̼͇͇͇͙̅̅̃ͅ ̷̳̭̫̈̿̈͑̈́͝n̴̨̨̨̨̫̗͕͚̱͚̖͖͖̥̠̺͙̩̩͓͎͖̪̼̤̲̩̹̖̱͕̄́́̆͠ơ̴̡̳̜̠̖̼̖͔̥̍̇̒͂̈́͒̔͛͋͑̏̉̀̈́̌̂̎̉́̊̊̔͊̇̍̍̒̐͆̿̊̍̇͐̈́̉̈͌̔̈́̐̋̊̿̿̓̇̉͒̈̊̕͘͝͝͠͝͝ẅ̵̧̡̢̢̩͎̳̲̳̻̯̝̦̻̜̦̹̳͚͈͙̠̖̗͔̹̩̰̇͊̐̇̉̐̐̒̀͌̐̏́̿̂̄͘̚̚͝ͅk̷̡̧̛̛̹̤͍̙͈̩̩̱̗̦̹̭̦͍̼̦̪̮̰͕̥̦͍̘̠͇̬̦̝̲̱̣͉̞̜͉̪̀͒̏͌̂͋̎̈͗̈́̀̾̃́͒͌̽͂̔͋̓̉̊͑̍͌͛̔̔̎̈́̅̇̅͂̑͗͑̍̉͋͛̓͊͒̃̈́̓̈́̈́̕̕͘͘͠͠i̷̧̧̨̨̲̘͍̖̥̙̳̟̮͎͉͔̙͈̲̪͍͚̥̱̼̥̝̻̖̪̲̞͙̼̩̩͙̱͇̘̊̾͒͋̑̈́̐͆̈͛̈́̎̈́̊̄̄̎̀̃̀̃͛͐͂̈́̉̅́̌͐͊̈̒̑̒̑́̌̀̌̉͌̅̌̆̂͋̓̈́̕͠͠͝l̵̨̦̬̝̮͈͕̮͓̙͍͍̥͔̱̫̟̼̺͉̯̜͎̠͚̬͉̝̘͕̮͔̪̂̀̐̓͗̂̿̀͛͐͗̿̏̉̈͘̕̚͜͜ͅͅͅl̷̢̧̢̨̡̲̫͔̫̰̭̮̦̲͓͍̦̮̦͕̳̳̞̠̩̘̠̤̮͈͖̩̺͔̮͕͙̤̤̟̺̫̘͚̤̮̦͇̩͓͚̠͎͎̖͓̘̇̀̎̋͆̓̎͋͛͌͋̔̚͜͜͜ͅͅ ̶̟̱̰̰̭̹̺̪̯̣̱̳̔̾́̀̊̈͐́̈́͑̀̇̀͊̿̌͌ͅm̷̡̨̛̛͙͙̻͍̥̦̦̗͙̟̯͇͓̘͓̱̗͙͉̟͓̲͇̰͇̭͎͙͕̘̻̖̥̬̉̋͛͗̋͂͑͊͋̀̉̎͌̿̎̓̿̓̎͗̆̀̄̋́͛̊̔͆̅̑̿̾̿̅̄̀̈́̓̒̎̒͂̃̊̈́͐̈́̚͘̕͠͝͠͝e̵̯̟̻͉̹̬̱͎̼͇͇͇͙̅̅̃ͅ ̷̳̭̫̈̿̈͑̈́͝n̴̨̨̨̨̫̗͕͚̱͚̖͖͖̥̠̺͙̩̩͓͎͖̪̼̤̲̩̹̖̱͕̄́́̆͠ơ̴̡̳̜̠̖̼̖͔̥̍̇̒͂̈́͒̔͛͋͑̏̉̀̈́̌̂̎̉́̊̊̔͊̇̍̍̒̐͆̿̊̍̇͐̈́̉̈͌̔̈́̐̋̊̿̿̓̇̉͒̈̊̕͘͝͝͠͝͝ẅ̵̧̡̢̢̩͎̳̲̳̻̯̝̦̻̜̦̹̳͚͈͙̠̖̗͔̹̩̰̇͊̐̇̉̐̐̒̀͌̐̏́̿̂̄͘̚̚͝ͅk̷̡̧̛̛̹̤͍̙͈̩̩̱̗̦̹̭̦͍̼̦̪̮̰͕̥̦͍̘̠͇̬̦̝̲̱̣͉̞̜͉̪̀͒̏͌̂͋̎̈͗̈́̀̾̃́͒͌̽͂̔͋̓̉̊͑̍͌͛̔̔̎̈́̅̇̅͂̑͗͑̍̉͋͛̓͊͒̃̈́̓̈́̈́̕̕͘͘͠͠i̷̧̧̨̨̲̘͍̖̥̙̳̟̮͎͉͔̙͈̲̪͍͚̥̱̼̥̝̻̖̪̲̞͙̼̩̩͙̱͇̘̊̾͒͋̑̈́̐͆̈͛̈́̎̈́̊̄̄̎̀̃̀̃͛͐͂̈́̉̅́̌͐͊̈̒̑̒̑́̌̀̌̉͌̅̌̆̂͋̓̈́̕͠͠͝l̵̨̦̬̝̮͈͕̮͓̙͍͍̥͔̱̫̟̼̺͉̯̜͎̠͚̬͉̝̘͕̮͔̪̂̀̐̓͗̂̿̀͛͐͗̿̏̉̈͘̕̚͜͜ͅͅͅl̷̢̧̢̨̡̲̫͔̫̰̭̮̦̲͓͍̦̮̦͕̳̳̞̠̩̘̠̤̮͈͖̩̺͔̮͕͙̤̤̟̺̫̘͚̤̮̦͇̩͓͚̠͎͎̖͓̘̇̀̎̋͆̓̎͋͛͌͋̔̚͜͜͜ͅͅ ̶̟̱̰̰̭̹̺̪̯̣̱̳̔̾́̀̊̈͐́̈́͑̀̇̀͊̿̌͌ͅm̷̡̨̛̛͙͙̻͍̥̦̦̗͙̟̯͇͓̘͓̱̗͙͉̟͓̲͇̰͇̭͎͙͕̘̻̖̥̬̉̋͛͗̋͂͑͊͋̀̉̎͌̿̎̓̿̓̎͗̆̀̄̋́͛̊̔͆̅̑̿̾̿̅̄̀̈́̓̒̎̒͂̃̊̈́͐̈́̚͘̕͠͝͠͝e̵̯̟̻͉̹̬̱͎̼͇͇͇͙̅̅̃ͅ ̷̳̭̫̈̿̈͑̈́͝n̴̨̨̨̨̫̗͕͚̱͚̖͖͖̥̠̺͙̩̩͓͎͖̪̼̤̲̩̹̖̱͕̄́́̆͠ơ̴̡̳̜̠̖̼̖͔̥̍̇̒͂̈́͒̔͛͋͑̏̉̀̈́̌̂̎̉́̊̊̔͊̇̍̍̒̐͆̿̊̍̇͐̈́̉̈͌̔̈́̐̋̊̿̿̓̇̉͒̈̊̕͘͝͝͠͝͝ẅ̵̧̡̢̢̩͎̳̲̳̻̯̝̦̻̜̦̹̳͚͈͙̠̖̗͔̹̩̰̇͊̐̇̉̐̐̒̀͌̐̏́̿̂̄͘̚̚͝ͅk̷̡̧̛̛̹̤͍̙͈̩̩̱̗̦̹̭̦͍̼̦̪̮̰͕̥̦͍̘̠͇̬̦̝̲̱̣͉̞̜͉̪̀͒̏͌̂͋̎̈͗̈́̀̾̃́͒͌̽͂̔͋̓̉̊͑̍͌͛̔̔̎̈́̅̇̅͂̑͗͑̍̉͋͛̓͊͒̃̈́̓̈́̈́̕̕͘͘͠͠i̷̧̧̨̨̲̘͍̖̥̙̳̟̮͎͉͔̙͈̲̪͍͚̥̱̼̥̝̻̖̪̲̞͙̼̩̩͙̱͇̘̊̾͒͋̑̈́̐͆̈͛̈́̎̈́̊̄̄̎̀̃̀̃͛͐͂̈́̉̅́̌͐͊̈̒̑̒̑́̌̀̌̉͌̅̌̆̂͋̓̈́̕͠͠͝l̵̨̦̬̝̮͈͕̮͓̙͍͍̥͔̱̫̟̼̺͉̯̜͎̠͚̬͉̝̘͕̮͔̪̂̀̐̓͗̂̿̀͛͐͗̿̏̉̈͘̕̚͜͜ͅͅͅl̷̢̧̢̨̡̲̫͔̫̰̭̮̦̲͓͍̦̮̦͕̳̳̞̠̩̘̠̤̮͈͖̩̺͔̮͕͙̤̤̟̺̫̘͚̤̮̦͇̩͓͚̠͎͎̖͓̘̇̀̎̋͆̓̎͋͛͌͋̔̚͜͜͜ͅͅ ̶̟̱̰̰̭̹̺̪̯̣̱̳̔̾́̀̊̈͐́̈́͑̀̇̀͊̿̌͌ͅm̷̡̨̛̛͙͙̻͍̥̦̦̗͙̟̯͇͓̘͓̱̗͙͉̟͓̲͇̰͇̭͎͙͕̘̻̖̥̬̉̋͛͗̋͂͑͊͋̀̉̎͌̿̎̓̿̓̎͗̆̀̄̋́͛̊̔͆̅̑̿̾̿̅̄̀̈́̓̒̎̒͂̃̊̈́͐̈́̚͘̕͠͝͠͝e̵̯̟̻͉̹̬̱͎̼͇͇͇͙̅̅̃ͅ ̷̳̭̫̈̿̈͑̈́͝n̴̨̨̨̨̫̗͕͚̱͚̖͖͖̥̠̺͙̩̩͓͎͖̪̼̤̲̩̹̖̱͕̄́́̆͠ơ̴̡̳̜̠̖̼̖͔̥̍̇̒͂̈́͒̔͛͋͑̏̉̀̈́̌̂̎̉́̊̊̔͊̇̍̍̒̐͆̿̊̍̇͐̈́̉̈͌̔̈́̐̋̊̿̿̓̇̉͒̈̊̕͘͝͝͠͝͝ẅ̵̧̡̢̢̩͎̳̲̳̻̯̝̦̻̜̦̹̳͚͈͙̠̖̗͔̹̩̰̇͊̐̇̉̐̐̒̀͌̐̏́̿̂̄͘̚̚͝ͅk̷̡̧̛̛̹̤͍̙͈̩̩̱̗̦̹̭̦͍̼̦̪̮̰͕̥̦͍̘̠͇̬̦̝̲̱̣͉̞̜͉̪̀͒̏͌̂͋̎̈͗̈́̀̾̃́͒͌̽͂̔͋̓̉̊͑̍͌͛̔̔̎̈́̅̇̅͂̑͗͑̍̉͋͛̓͊͒̃̈́̓̈́̈́̕̕͘͘͠͠i̷̧̧̨̨̲̘͍̖̥̙̳̟̮͎͉͔̙͈̲̪͍͚̥̱̼̥̝̻̖̪̲̞͙̼̩̩͙̱͇̘̊̾͒͋̑̈́̐͆̈͛̈́̎̈́̊̄̄̎̀̃̀̃͛͐͂̈́̉̅́̌͐͊̈̒̑̒̑́̌̀̌̉͌̅̌̆̂͋̓̈́̕͠͠͝l̵̨̦̬̝̮͈͕̮͓̙͍͍̥͔̱̫̟̼̺͉̯̜͎̠͚̬͉̝̘͕̮͔̪̂̀̐̓͗̂̿̀͛͐͗̿̏̉̈͘̕̚͜͜ͅͅͅl̷̢̧̢̨̡̲̫͔̫̰̭̮̦̲͓͍̦̮̦͕̳̳̞̠̩̘̠̤̮͈͖̩̺͔̮͕͙̤̤̟̺̫̘͚̤̮̦͇̩͓͚̠͎͎̖͓̘̇̀̎̋͆̓̎͋͛͌͋̔̚͜͜͜ͅͅ ̶̟̱̰̰̭̹̺̪̯̣̱̳̔̾́̀̊̈͐́̈́͑̀̇̀͊̿̌͌ͅm̷̡̨̛̛͙͙̻͍̥̦̦̗͙̟̯͇͓̘͓̱̗͙͉̟͓̲͇̰͇̭͎͙͕̘̻̖̥̬̉̋͛͗̋͂͑͊͋̀̉̎͌̿̎̓̿̓̎͗̆̀̄̋́͛̊̔͆̅̑̿̾̿̅̄̀̈́̓̒̎̒͂̃̊̈́͐̈́̚͘̕͠͝͠͝e̵̯̟̻͉̹̬̱͎̼͇͇͇͙̅̅̃ͅ ̷̳̭̫̈̿̈͑̈́͝n̴̨̨̨̨̫̗͕͚̱͚̖͖͖̥̠̺͙̩̩͓͎͖̪̼̤̲̩̹̖̱͕̄́́̆͠ơ̴̡̳̜̠̖̼̖͔̥̍̇̒͂̈́͒̔͛͋͑̏̉̀̈́̌̂̎̉́̊̊̔͊̇̍̍̒̐͆̿̊̍̇͐̈́̉̈͌̔̈́̐̋̊̿̿̓̇̉͒̈̊̕͘͝͝͠͝͝ẅ̵̧̡̢̢̩͎̳̲̳̻̯̝̦̻̜̦̹̳͚͈͙̠̖̗͔̹̩̰̇͊̐̇̉̐̐̒̀͌̐̏́̿̂̄͘̚̚͝ͅk̷̡̧̛̛̹̤͍̙͈̩̩̱̗̦̹̭̦͍̼̦̪̮̰͕̥̦͍̘̠͇̬̦̝̲̱̣͉̞̜͉̪̀͒̏͌̂͋̎̈͗̈́̀̾̃́͒͌̽͂̔͋̓̉̊͑̍͌͛̔̔̎̈́̅̇̅͂̑͗͑̍̉͋͛̓͊͒̃̈́̓̈́̈́̕̕͘͘͠͠i̷̧̧̨̨̲̘͍̖̥̙̳̟̮͎͉͔̙͈̲̪͍͚̥̱̼̥̝̻̖̪̲̞͙̼̩̩͙̱͇̘̊̾͒͋̑̈́̐͆̈͛̈́̎̈́̊̄̄̎̀̃̀̃͛͐͂̈́̉̅́̌͐͊̈̒̑̒̑́̌̀̌̉͌̅̌̆̂͋̓̈́̕͠͠͝l̵̨̦̬̝̮͈͕̮͓̙͍͍̥͔̱̫̟̼̺͉̯̜͎̠͚̬͉̝̘͕̮͔̪̂̀̐̓͗̂̿̀͛͐͗̿̏̉̈͘̕̚͜͜ͅͅͅl̷̢̧̢̨̡̲̫͔̫̰̭̮̦̲͓͍̦̮̦͕̳̳̞̠̩̘̠̤̮͈͖̩̺͔̮͕͙̤̤̟̺̫̘͚̤̮̦͇̩͓͚̠͎͎̖͓̘̇̀̎̋͆̓̎͋͛͌͋̔̚͜͜͜ͅͅ ̶̟̱̰̰̭̹̺̪̯̣̱̳̔̾́̀̊̈͐́̈́͑̀̇̀͊̿̌͌ͅm̷̡̨̛̛͙͙̻͍̥̦̦̗͙̟̯͇͓̘͓̱̗͙͉̟͓̲͇̰͇̭͎͙͕̘̻̖̥̬̉̋͛͗̋͂͑͊͋̀̉̎͌̿̎̓̿̓̎͗̆̀̄̋́͛̊̔͆̅̑̿̾̿̅̄̀̈́̓̒̎̒͂̃̊̈́͐̈́̚͘̕͠͝͠͝e̵̯̟̻͉̹̬̱͎̼͇͇͇͙̅̅̃ͅ ̷̳̭̫̈̿̈͑̈́͝n̴̨̨̨̨̫̗͕͚̱͚̖͖͖̥̠̺͙̩̩͓͎͖̪̼̤̲̩̹̖̱͕̄́́̆͠ơ̴̡̳̜̠̖̼̖͔̥̍̇̒͂̈́͒̔͛͋͑̏̉̀̈́̌̂̎̉́̊̊̔͊̇̍̍̒̐͆̿̊̍̇͐̈́̉̈͌̔̈́̐̋̊̿̿̓̇̉͒̈̊̕͘͝͝͠͝͝ẅ̵̧̡̢̢̩͎̳̲̳̻̯̝̦̻̜̦̹̳͚͈͙̠̖̗͔̹̩̰̇͊̐̇̉̐̐̒̀͌̐̏́̿̂̄͘̚̚͝ͅk̷̡̧̛̛̹̤͍̙͈̩̩̱̗̦̹̭̦͍̼̦̪̮̰͕̥̦͍̘̠͇̬̦̝̲̱̣͉̞̜͉̪̀͒̏͌̂͋̎̈͗̈́̀̾̃́͒͌̽͂̔͋̓̉̊͑̍͌͛̔̔̎̈́̅̇̅͂̑͗͑̍̉͋͛̓͊͒̃̈́̓̈́̈́̕̕͘͘͠͠i̷̧̧̨̨̲̘͍̖̥̙̳̟̮͎͉͔̙͈̲̪͍͚̥̱̼̥̝̻̖̪̲̞͙̼̩̩͙̱͇̘̊̾͒͋̑̈́̐͆̈͛̈́̎̈́̊̄̄̎̀̃̀̃͛͐͂̈́̉̅́̌͐͊̈̒̑̒̑́̌̀̌̉͌̅̌̆̂͋̓̈́̕͠͠͝l̵̨̦̬̝̮͈͕̮͓̙͍͍̥͔̱̫̟̼̺͉̯̜͎̠͚̬͉̝̘͕̮͔̪̂̀̐̓͗̂̿̀͛͐͗̿̏̉̈͘̕̚͜͜ͅͅͅl̷̢̧̢̨̡̲̫͔̫̰̭̮̦̲͓͍̦̮̦͕̳̳̞̠̩̘̠̤̮͈͖̩̺͔̮͕͙̤̤̟̺̫̘͚̤̮̦͇̩͓͚̠͎͎̖͓̘̇̀̎̋͆̓̎͋͛͌͋̔̚͜͜͜ͅͅ ̶̟̱̰̰̭̹̺̪̯̣̱̳̔̾́̀̊̈͐́̈́͑̀̇̀͊̿̌͌ͅm̷̡̨̛̛͙͙̻͍̥̦̦̗͙̟̯͇͓̘͓̱̗͙͉̟͓̲͇̰͇̭͎͙͕̘̻̖̥̬̉̋͛͗̋͂͑͊͋̀̉̎͌̿̎̓̿̓̎͗̆̀̄̋́͛̊̔͆̅̑̿̾̿̅̄̀̈́̓̒̎̒͂̃̊̈́͐̈́̚͘̕͠͝͠͝e̵̯̟̻͉̹̬̱͎̼͇͇͇͙̅̅̃ͅ ̷̳̭̫̈̿̈͑̈́͝n̴̨̨̨̨̫̗͕͚̱͚̖͖͖̥̠̺͙̩̩͓͎͖̪̼̤̲̩̹̖̱͕̄́́̆͠ơ̴̡̳̜̠̖̼̖͔̥̍̇̒͂̈́͒̔͛͋͑̏̉̀̈́̌̂̎̉́̊̊̔͊̇̍̍̒̐͆̿̊̍̇͐̈́̉̈͌̔̈́̐̋̊̿̿̓̇̉͒̈̊̕͘͝͝͠͝͝ẅ̵̧̡̢̢̩͎̳̲̳̻̯̝̦̻̜̦̹̳͚͈͙̠̖̗͔̹̩̰̇͊̐̇̉̐̐̒̀͌̐̏́̿̂̄͘̚̚͝ͅk̷̡̧̛̛̹̤͍̙͈̩̩̱̗̦̹̭̦͍̼̦̪̮̰͕̥̦͍̘̠͇̬̦̝̲̱̣͉̞̜͉̪̀͒̏͌̂͋̎̈͗̈́̀̾̃́͒͌̽͂̔͋̓̉̊͑̍͌͛̔̔̎̈́̅̇̅͂̑͗͑̍̉͋͛̓͊͒̃̈́̓̈́̈́̕̕͘͘͠͠i̷̧̧̨̨̲̘͍̖̥̙̳̟̮͎͉͔̙͈̲̪͍͚̥̱̼̥̝̻̖̪̲̞͙̼̩̩͙̱͇̘̊̾͒͋̑̈́̐͆̈͛̈́̎̈́̊̄̄̎̀̃̀̃͛͐͂̈́̉̅́̌͐͊̈̒̑̒̑́̌̀̌̉͌̅̌̆̂͋̓̈́̕͠͠͝l̵̨̦̬̝̮͈͕̮͓̙͍͍̥͔̱̫̟̼̺͉̯̜͎̠͚̬͉̝̘͕̮͔̪̂̀̐̓͗̂̿̀͛͐͗̿̏̉̈͘̕̚͜͜ͅͅͅl̷̢̧̢̨̡̲̫͔̫̰̭̮̦̲͓͍̦̮̦͕̳̳̞̠̩̘̠̤̮͈͖̩̺͔̮͕͙̤̤̟̺̫̘͚̤̮̦͇̩͓͚̠͎͎̖͓̘̇̀̎̋͆̓̎͋͛͌͋̔̚͜͜͜ͅͅ ̶̟̱̰̰̭̹̺̪̯̣̱̳̔̾́̀̊̈͐́̈́͑̀̇̀͊̿̌͌ͅm̷̡̨̛̛͙͙̻͍̥̦̦̗͙̟̯͇͓̘͓̱̗͙͉̟͓̲͇̰͇̭͎͙͕̘̻̖̥̬̉̋͛͗̋͂͑͊͋̀̉̎͌̿̎̓̿̓̎͗̆̀̄̋́͛̊̔͆̅̑̿̾̿̅̄̀̈́̓̒̎̒͂̃̊̈́͐̈́̚͘̕͠͝͠͝e̵̯̟̻͉̹̬̱͎̼͇͇͇͙̅̅̃ͅ ̷̳̭̫̈̿̈͑̈́͝n̴̨̨̨̨̫̗͕͚̱͚̖͖͖̥̠̺͙̩̩͓͎͖̪̼̤̲̩̹̖̱͕̄́́̆͠ơ̴̡̳̜̠̖̼̖͔̥̍̇̒͂̈́͒̔͛͋͑̏̉̀̈́̌̂̎̉́̊̊̔͊̇̍̍̒̐͆̿̊̍̇͐̈́̉̈͌̔̈́̐̋̊̿̿̓̇̉͒̈̊̕͘͝͝͠͝͝ẅ̵̧̡̢̢̩͎̳̲̳̻̯̝̦̻̜̦̹̳͚͈͙̠̖̗͔̹̩̰̇͊̐̇̉̐̐̒̀͌̐̏́̿̂̄͘̚̚͝ͅk̷̡̧̛̛̹̤͍̙͈̩̩̱̗̦̹̭̦͍̼̦̪̮̰͕̥̦͍̘̠͇̬̦̝̲̱̣͉̞̜͉̪̀͒̏͌̂͋̎̈͗̈́̀̾̃́͒͌̽͂̔͋̓̉̊͑̍͌͛̔̔̎̈́̅̇̅͂̑͗͑̍̉͋͛̓͊͒̃̈́̓̈́̈́̕̕͘͘͠͠i̷̧̧̨̨̲̘͍̖̥̙̳̟̮͎͉͔̙͈̲̪͍͚̥̱̼̥̝̻̖̪̲̞͙̼̩̩͙̱͇̘̊̾͒͋̑̈́̐͆̈͛̈́̎̈́̊̄̄̎̀̃̀̃͛͐͂̈́̉̅́̌͐͊̈̒̑̒̑́̌̀̌̉͌̅̌̆̂͋̓̈́̕͠͠͝l̵̨̦̬̝̮͈͕̮͓̙͍͍̥͔̱̫̟̼̺͉̯̜͎̠͚̬͉̝̘͕̮͔̪̂̀̐̓͗̂̿̀͛͐͗̿̏̉̈͘̕̚͜͜ͅͅͅl̷̢̧̢̨̡̲̫͔̫̰̭̮̦̲͓͍̦̮̦͕̳̳̞̠̩̘̠̤̮͈͖̩̺͔̮͕͙̤̤̟̺̫̘͚̤̮̦͇̩͓͚̠͎͎̖͓̘̇̀̎̋͆̓̎͋͛͌͋̔̚͜͜͜ͅͅ ̶̟̱̰̰̭̹̺̪̯̣̱̳̔̾́̀̊̈͐́̈́͑̀̇̀͊̿̌͌ͅm̷̡̨̛̛͙͙̻͍̥̦̦̗͙̟̯͇͓̘͓̱̗͙͉̟͓̲͇̰͇̭͎͙͕̘̻̖̥̬̉̋͛͗̋͂͑͊͋̀̉̎͌̿̎̓̿̓̎͗̆̀̄̋́͛̊̔͆̅̑̿̾̿̅̄̀̈́̓̒̎̒͂̃̊̈́͐̈́̚͘̕͠͝͠͝e̵̯̟̻͉̹̬̱͎̼͇͇͇͙̅̅̃ͅ ̷̳̭̫̈̿̈͑̈́͝n̴̨̨̨̨̫̗͕͚̱͚̖͖͖̥̠̺͙̩̩͓͎͖̪̼̤̲̩̹̖̱͕̄́́̆͠ơ̴̡̳̜̠̖̼̖͔̥̍̇̒͂̈́͒̔͛͋͑̏̉̀̈́̌̂̎̉́̊̊̔͊̇̍̍̒̐͆̿̊̍̇͐̈́̉̈͌̔̈́̐̋̊̿̿̓̇̉͒̈̊̕͘͝͝͠͝͝ẅ̵̧̡̢̢̩͎̳̲̳̻̯̝̦̻̜̦̹̳͚͈͙̠̖̗͔̹̩̰̇͊̐̇̉̐̐̒̀͌̐̏́̿̂̄͘̚̚͝ͅk̷̡̧̛̛̹̤͍̙͈̩̩̱̗̦̹̭̦͍̼̦̪̮̰͕̥̦͍̘̠͇̬̦̝̲̱̣͉̞̜͉̪̀͒̏͌̂͋̎̈͗̈́̀̾̃́͒͌̽͂̔͋̓̉̊͑̍͌͛̔̔̎̈́̅̇̅͂̑͗͑̍̉͋͛̓͊͒̃̈́̓̈́̈́̕̕͘͘͠͠i̷̧̧̨̨̲̘͍̖̥̙̳̟̮͎͉͔̙͈̲̪͍͚̥̱̼̥̝̻̖̪̲̞͙̼̩̩͙̱͇̘̊̾͒͋̑̈́̐͆̈͛̈́̎̈́̊̄̄̎̀̃̀̃͛͐͂̈́̉̅́̌͐͊̈̒̑̒̑́̌̀̌̉͌̅̌̆̂͋̓̈́̕͠͠͝l̵̨̦̬̝̮͈͕̮͓̙͍͍̥͔̱̫̟̼̺͉̯̜͎̠͚̬͉̝̘͕̮͔̪̂̀̐̓͗̂̿̀͛͐͗̿̏̉̈͘̕̚͜͜ͅͅͅl̷̢̧̢̨̡̲̫͔̫̰̭̮̦̲͓͍̦̮̦͕̳̳̞̠̩̘̠̤̮͈͖̩̺͔̮͕͙̤̤̟̺̫̘͚̤̮̦͇̩͓͚̠͎͎̖͓̘̇̀̎̋͆̓̎͋͛͌͋̔̚͜͜͜ͅͅ ̶̟̱̰̰̭̹̺̪̯̣̱̳̔̾́̀̊̈͐́̈́͑̀̇̀͊̿̌͌ͅm̷̡̨̛̛͙͙̻͍̥̦̦̗͙̟̯͇͓̘͓̱̗͙͉̟͓̲͇̰͇̭͎͙͕̘̻̖̥̬̉̋͛͗̋͂͑͊͋̀̉̎͌̿̎̓̿̓̎͗̆̀̄̋́͛̊̔͆̅̑̿̾̿̅̄̀̈́̓̒̎̒͂̃̊̈́͐̈́̚͘̕͠͝͠͝e̵̯̟̻͉̹̬̱͎̼͇͇͇͙̅̅̃ͅ ̷̳̭̫̈̿̈͑̈́͝n̴̨̨̨̨̫̗͕͚̱͚̖͖͖̥̠̺͙̩̩͓͎͖̪̼̤̲̩̹̖̱͕̄́́̆͠ơ̴̡̳̜̠̖̼̖͔̥̍̇̒͂̈́͒̔͛͋͑̏̉̀̈́̌̂̎̉́̊̊̔͊̇̍̍̒̐͆̿̊̍̇͐̈́̉̈͌̔̈́̐̋̊̿̿̓̇̉͒̈̊̕͘͝͝͠͝͝ẅ̵̧̡̢̢̩͎̳̲̳̻̯̝̦̻̜̦̹̳͚͈͙̠̖̗͔̹̩̰̇͊̐̇̉̐̐̒̀͌̐̏́̿̂̄͘̚̚͝ͅk̷̡̧̛̛̹̤͍̙͈̩̩̱̗̦̹̭̦͍̼̦̪̮̰͕̥̦͍̘̠͇̬̦̝̲̱̣͉̞̜͉̪̀͒̏͌̂͋̎̈͗̈́̀̾̃́͒͌̽͂̔͋̓̉̊͑̍͌͛̔̔̎̈́̅̇̅͂̑͗͑̍̉͋͛̓͊͒̃̈́̓̈́̈́̕̕͘͘͠͠i̷̧̧̨̨̲̘͍̖̥̙̳̟̮͎͉͔̙͈̲̪͍͚̥̱̼̥̝̻̖̪̲̞͙̼̩̩͙̱͇̘̊̾͒͋̑̈́̐͆̈͛̈́̎̈́̊̄̄̎̀̃̀̃͛͐͂̈́̉̅́̌͐͊̈̒̑̒̑́̌̀̌̉͌̅̌̆̂͋̓̈́̕͠͠͝l̵̨̦̬̝̮͈͕̮͓̙͍͍̥͔̱̫̟̼̺͉̯̜͎̠͚̬͉̝̘͕̮͔̪̂̀̐̓͗̂̿̀͛͐͗̿̏̉̈͘̕̚͜͜ͅͅͅl̷̢̧̢̨̡̲̫͔̫̰̭̮̦̲͓͍̦̮̦͕̳̳̞̠̩̘̠̤̮͈͖̩̺͔̮͕͙̤̤̟̺̫̘͚̤̮̦͇̩͓͚̠͎͎̖͓̘̇̀̎̋͆̓̎͋͛͌͋̔̚͜͜͜ͅͅ ̶̟̱̰̰̭̹̺̪̯̣̱̳̔̾́̀̊̈͐́̈́͑̀̇̀͊̿̌͌ͅm̷̡̨̛̛͙͙̻͍̥̦̦̗͙̟̯͇͓̘͓̱̗͙͉̟͓̲͇̰͇̭͎͙͕̘̻̖̥̬̉̋͛͗̋͂͑͊͋̀̉̎͌̿̎̓̿̓̎͗̆̀̄̋́͛̊̔͆̅̑̿̾̿̅̄̀̈́̓̒̎̒͂̃̊̈́͐̈́̚͘̕͠͝͠͝e̵̯̟̻͉̹̬̱͎̼͇͇͇͙̅̅̃ͅ ̷̳̭̫̈̿̈͑̈́͝n̴̨̨̨̨̫̗͕͚̱͚̖͖͖̥̠̺͙̩̩͓͎͖̪̼̤̲̩̹̖̱͕̄́́̆͠ơ̴̡̳̜̠̖̼̖͔̥̍̇̒͂̈́͒̔͛͋͑̏̉̀̈́̌̂̎̉́̊̊̔͊̇̍̍̒̐͆̿̊̍̇͐̈́̉̈͌̔̈́̐̋̊̿̿̓̇̉͒̈̊̕͘͝͝͠͝͝ẅ̵̧̡̢̢̩͎̳̲̳̻̯̝̦̻̜̦̹̳͚͈͙̠̖̗͔̹̩̰̇͊̐̇̉̐̐̒̀͌̐̏́̿̂̄͘̚̚͝ͅk̷̡̧̛̛̹̤͍̙͈̩̩̱̗̦̹̭̦͍̼̦̪̮̰͕̥̦͍̘̠͇̬̦̝̲̱̣͉̞̜͉̪̀͒̏͌̂͋̎̈͗̈́̀̾̃́͒͌̽͂̔͋̓̉̊͑̍͌͛̔̔̎̈́̅̇̅͂̑͗͑̍̉͋͛̓͊͒̃̈́̓̈́̈́̕̕͘͘͠͠i̷̧̧̨̨̲̘͍̖̥̙̳̟̮͎͉͔̙͈̲̪͍͚̥̱̼̥̝̻̖̪̲̞͙̼̩̩͙̱͇̘̊̾͒͋̑̈́̐͆̈͛̈́̎̈́̊̄̄̎̀̃̀̃͛͐͂̈́̉̅́̌͐͊̈̒̑̒̑́̌̀̌̉͌̅̌̆̂͋̓̈́̕͠͠͝l̵̨̦̬̝̮͈͕̮͓̙͍͍̥͔̱̫̟̼̺͉̯̜͎̠͚̬͉̝̘͕̮͔̪̂̀̐̓͗̂̿̀͛͐͗̿̏̉̈͘̕̚͜͜ͅͅͅl̷̢̧̢̨̡̲̫͔̫̰̭̮̦̲͓͍̦̮̦͕̳̳̞̠̩̘̠̤̮͈͖̩̺͔̮͕͙̤̤̟̺̫̘͚̤̮̦͇̩͓͚̠͎͎̖͓̘̇̀̎̋͆̓̎͋͛͌͋̔̚͜͜͜ͅͅ ̶̟̱̰̰̭̹̺̪̯̣̱̳̔̾́̀̊̈͐́̈́͑̀̇̀͊̿̌͌ͅm̷̡̨̛̛͙͙̻͍̥̦̦̗͙̟̯͇͓̘͓̱̗͙͉̟͓̲͇̰͇̭͎͙͕̘̻̖̥̬̉̋͛͗̋͂͑͊͋̀̉̎͌̿̎̓̿̓̎͗̆̀̄̋́͛̊̔͆̅̑̿̾̿̅̄̀̈́̓̒̎̒͂̃̊̈́͐̈́̚͘̕͠͝͠͝e̵̯̟̻͉̹̬̱͎̼͇͇͇͙̅̅̃ͅ ̷̳̭̫̈̿̈͑̈́͝n̴̨̨̨̨̫̗͕͚̱͚̖͖͖̥̠̺͙̩̩͓͎͖̪̼̤̲̩̹̖̱͕̄́́̆͠ơ̴̡̳̜̠̖̼̖͔̥̍̇̒͂̈́͒̔͛͋͑̏̉̀̈́̌̂̎̉́̊̊̔͊̇̍̍̒̐͆̿̊̍̇͐̈́̉̈͌̔̈́̐̋̊̿̿̓̇̉͒̈̊̕͘͝͝͠͝͝ẅ̵̧̡̢̢̩͎̳̲̳̻̯̝̦̻̜̦̹̳͚͈͙̠̖̗͔̹̩̰̇͊̐̇̉̐̐̒̀͌̐̏́̿̂̄͘̚̚͝ͅk̷̡̧̛̛̹̤͍̙͈̩̩̱̗̦̹̭̦͍̼̦̪̮̰͕̥̦͍̘̠͇̬̦̝̲̱̣͉̞̜͉̪̀͒̏͌̂͋̎̈͗̈́̀̾̃́͒͌̽͂̔͋̓̉̊͑̍͌͛̔̔̎̈́̅̇̅͂̑͗͑̍̉͋͛̓͊͒̃̈́̓̈́̈́̕̕͘͘͠͠i̷̧̧̨̨̲̘͍̖̥̙̳̟̮͎͉͔̙͈̲̪͍͚̥̱̼̥̝̻̖̪̲̞͙̼̩̩͙̱͇̘̊̾͒͋̑̈́̐͆̈͛̈́̎̈́̊̄̄̎̀̃̀̃͛͐͂̈́̉̅́̌͐͊̈̒̑̒̑́̌̀̌̉͌̅̌̆̂͋̓̈́̕͠͠͝l̵̨̦̬̝̮͈͕̮͓̙͍͍̥͔̱̫̟̼̺͉̯̜͎̠͚̬͉̝̘͕̮͔̪̂̀̐̓͗̂̿̀͛͐͗̿̏̉̈͘̕̚͜͜ͅͅͅl̷̢̧̢̨̡̲̫͔̫̰̭̮̦̲͓͍̦̮̦͕̳̳̞̠̩̘̠̤̮͈͖̩̺͔̮͕͙̤̤̟̺̫̘͚̤̮̦͇̩͓͚̠͎͎̖͓̘̇̀̎̋͆̓̎͋͛͌͋̔̚͜͜͜ͅͅ ̶̟̱̰̰̭̹̺̪̯̣̱̳̔̾́̀̊̈͐́̈́͑̀̇̀͊̿̌͌ͅm̷̡̨̛̛͙͙̻͍̥̦̦̗͙̟̯͇͓̘͓̱̗͙͉̟͓̲͇̰͇̭͎͙͕̘̻̖̥̬̉̋͛͗̋͂͑͊͋̀̉̎͌̿̎̓̿̓̎͗̆̀̄̋́͛̊̔͆̅̑̿̾̿̅̄̀̈́̓̒̎̒͂̃̊̈́͐̈́̚͘̕͠͝͠͝e̵̯̟̻͉̹̬̱͎̼͇͇͇͙̅̅̃ͅ ̷̳̭̫̈̿̈͑̈́͝n̴̨̨̨̨̫̗͕͚̱͚̖͖͖̥̠̺͙̩̩͓͎͖̪̼̤̲̩̹̖̱͕̄́́̆͠ơ̴̡̳̜̠̖̼̖͔̥̍̇̒͂̈́͒̔͛͋͑̏̉̀̈́̌̂̎̉́̊̊̔͊̇̍̍̒̐͆̿̊̍̇͐̈́̉̈͌̔̈́̐̋̊̿̿̓̇̉͒̈̊̕͘͝͝͠͝͝ẅ̵̧̡̢̢̩͎̳̲̳̻̯̝̦̻̜̦̹̳͚͈͙̠̖̗͔̹̩̰̇͊̐̇̉̐̐̒̀͌̐̏́̿̂̄͘̚̚͝ͅk̷̡̧̛̛̹̤͍̙͈̩̩̱̗̦̹̭̦͍̼̦̪̮̰͕̥̦͍̘̠͇̬̦̝̲̱̣͉̞̜͉̪̀͒̏͌̂͋̎̈͗̈́̀̾̃́͒͌̽͂̔͋̓̉̊͑̍͌͛̔̔̎̈́̅̇̅͂̑͗͑̍̉͋͛̓͊͒̃̈́̓̈́̈́̕̕͘͘͠͠i̷̧̧̨̨̲̘͍̖̥̙̳̟̮͎͉͔̙͈̲̪͍͚̥̱̼̥̝̻̖̪̲̞͙̼̩̩͙̱͇̘̊̾͒͋̑̈́̐͆̈͛̈́̎̈́̊̄̄̎̀̃̀̃͛͐͂̈́̉̅́̌͐͊̈̒̑̒̑́̌̀̌̉͌̅̌̆̂͋̓̈́̕͠͠͝l̵̨̦̬̝̮͈͕̮͓̙͍͍̥͔̱̫̟̼̺͉̯̜͎̠͚̬͉̝̘͕̮͔̪̂̀̐̓͗̂̿̀͛͐͗̿̏̉̈͘̕̚͜͜ͅͅͅl̷̢̧̢̨̡̲̫͔̫̰̭̮̦̲͓͍̦̮̦͕̳̳̞̠̩̘̠̤̮͈͖̩̺͔̮͕͙̤̤̟̺̫̘͚̤̮̦͇̩͓͚̠͎͎̖͓̘̇̀̎̋͆̓̎͋͛͌͋̔̚͜͜͜ͅͅ ̶̟̱̰̰̭̹̺̪̯̣̱̳̔̾́̀̊̈͐́̈́͑̀̇̀͊̿̌͌ͅm̷̡̨̛̛͙͙̻͍̥̦̦̗͙̟̯͇͓̘͓̱̗͙͉̟͓̲͇̰͇̭͎͙͕̘̻̖̥̬̉̋͛͗̋͂͑͊͋̀̉̎͌̿̎̓̿̓̎͗̆̀̄̋́͛̊̔͆̅̑̿̾̿̅̄̀̈́̓̒̎̒͂̃̊̈́͐̈́̚͘̕͠͝͠͝e̵̯̟̻͉̹̬̱͎̼͇͇͇͙̅̅̃ͅ ̷̳̭̫̈̿̈͑̈́͝n̴̨̨̨̨̫̗͕͚̱͚̖͖͖̥̠̺͙̩̩͓͎͖̪̼̤̲̩̹̖̱͕̄́́̆͠ơ̴̡̳̜̠̖̼̖͔̥̍̇̒͂̈́͒̔͛͋͑̏̉̀̈́̌̂̎̉́̊̊̔͊̇̍̍̒̐͆̿̊̍̇͐̈́̉̈͌̔̈́̐̋̊̿̿̓̇̉͒̈̊̕͘͝͝͠͝͝ẅ̵̧̡̢̢̩͎̳̲̳̻̯̝̦̻̜̦̹̳͚͈͙̠̖̗͔̹̩̰̇͊̐̇̉̐̐̒̀͌̐̏́̿̂̄͘̚̚͝ͅk̷̡̧̛̛̹̤͍̙͈̩̩̱̗̦̹̭̦͍̼̦̪̮̰͕̥̦͍̘̠͇̬̦̝̲̱̣͉̞̜͉̪̀͒̏͌̂͋̎̈͗̈́̀̾̃́͒͌̽͂̔͋̓̉̊͑̍͌͛̔̔̎̈́̅̇̅͂̑͗͑̍̉͋͛̓͊͒̃̈́̓̈́̈́̕̕͘͘͠͠i̷̧̧̨̨̲̘͍̖̥̙̳̟̮͎͉͔̙͈̲̪͍͚̥̱̼̥̝̻̖̪̲̞͙̼̩̩͙̱͇̘̊̾͒͋̑̈́̐͆̈͛̈́̎̈́̊̄̄̎̀̃̀̃͛͐͂̈́̉̅́̌͐͊̈̒̑̒̑́̌̀̌̉͌̅̌̆̂͋̓̈́̕͠͠͝l̵̨̦̬̝̮͈͕̮͓̙͍͍̥͔̱̫̟̼̺͉̯̜͎̠͚̬͉̝̘͕̮͔̪̂̀̐̓͗̂̿̀͛͐͗̿̏̉̈͘̕̚͜͜ͅͅͅl̷̢̧̢̨̡̲̫͔̫̰̭̮̦̲͓͍̦̮̦͕̳̳̞̠̩̘̠̤̮͈͖̩̺͔̮͕͙̤̤̟̺̫̘͚̤̮̦͇̩͓͚̠͎͎̖͓̘̇̀̎̋͆̓̎͋͛͌͋̔̚͜͜͜ͅͅ ̶̟̱̰̰̭̹̺̪̯̣̱̳̔̾́̀̊̈͐́̈́͑̀̇̀͊̿̌͌ͅm̷̡̨̛̛͙͙̻͍̥̦̦̗͙̟̯͇͓̘͓̱̗͙͉̟͓̲͇̰͇̭͎͙͕̘̻̖̥̬̉̋͛͗̋͂͑͊͋̀̉̎͌̿̎̓̿̓̎͗̆̀̄̋́͛̊̔͆̅̑̿̾̿̅̄̀̈́̓̒̎̒͂̃̊̈́͐̈́̚͘̕͠͝͠͝e̵̯̟̻͉̹̬̱͎̼͇͇͇͙̅̅̃ͅ ̷̳̭̫̈̿̈͑̈́͝n̴̨̨̨̨̫̗͕͚̱͚̖͖͖̥̠̺͙̩̩͓͎͖̪̼̤̲̩̹̖̱͕̄́́̆͠ơ̴̡̳̜̠̖̼̖͔̥̍̇̒͂̈́͒̔͛͋͑̏̉̀̈́̌̂̎̉́̊̊̔͊̇̍̍̒̐͆̿̊̍̇͐̈́̉̈͌̔̈́̐̋̊̿̿̓̇̉͒̈̊̕͘͝͝͠͝͝ẅ̵̧̡̢̢̩͎̳̲̳̻̯̝̦̻̜̦̹̳͚͈͙̠̖̗͔̹̩̰̇͊̐̇̉̐̐̒̀͌̐̏́̿̂̄͘̚̚͝ͅ

There's so much fucking pressure on me and I hate it, I don't want to be seen as "the smart kid"because I'm not, college is kicking my ass. I just got lucky and cheated through highschool. I don't want all of this pressure, it is killing me

There’s a bad situation in my group home that i’m unable to handle and they just say live with it and i can’t leave bc my parents are sick of me. I have nowhere to go, and this situation is making me absolutely miserable. Well then if no one reacts ill probably be homeless next week. What a fcking shitshow

This feeling comes and goes and I usually keep it suppressed by submerging myself in mundane stuff. I am 34 years old and I have been dealing with these episodes of worthlessness since probably middle school. I grew up in a small rural town in Puerto Rico. I can’t say we all know each other, but everyone knows everyone else’s business. I grew up in a strict pentecostal family with many rules forced into my siblings and I. We used to go to church usually 7 days a week and on Sundays twice (Bible school in the morning and afternoon/evening service). Secular music was prohibited and any tv material that was deemed “demonic” by the pastor. Of course, living in a pentecostal family made a huge impact on who I was from elementary school all the way until I decided to part ways with the faith later on in my 20s. I was so insecure about myself and tried super hard to fit in with the other kids. It was a challenge because I never felt understood by the others, mainly because I had nothing to relate with them. I was not allowed to listen to secular music or even go to the movies because of rules my mom enforced on all of us. That insecurity grew even stronger when entered high school, which of course was the worse years of my teenage years. There were so many things happening in my life at that moment that I thought in some weird way it was all normal. During the last years of elementary school my dad decided to distance himself from church. He became an alcoholic shortly after and everything went downhill from there. He multiple affairs that my mom was ware of and that didn’t turned out well for me. My mom became aggressive and depressed. I used to get hit for no reason that I can remember to this day. I think she felt trapped because divorcing my father was not an option due to her fanaticism. My mom used to break stuff every day, scream and yell, stayed inside her room all day and praying for the most part. One positive thing I can say about her is that we were never hungry and somehow she always found ways to provide us with clothes and food. My dad disappeared for many months one time and I thought he gave up on us but specially on me. I felt so betrayed by him. My mom was also non-present in my life or school. My grades dropped drastically and I was bullied a lot at school for being alone the majority of the time. There is so much to say about everything that happened but, I thought I was over that and everything that happened. Today I am angry at my parents because how irresponsible they were with their kids. I compare myself to every one else around me and I feel like I should’ve had a better upbringing. I know it’s up to me know and they are no longer responsible but it still hurts me so much. I deal with my insecurities every day and that is something I’m never gonna be able to change. I compare myself a lot with everyone. I tend to feel like a way lesser version of whoever I am comparing myself to. I’m going to therapy and that helps to a degree. I just wish I could find people or at least someone that can relate to this. If you read this far thanks and I apologize for the typos or grammar errors. I’ll do my best to fix them later.

i feel like i’m probably gonna kill myself friday, i don’t even know why anymore

Sometimes I dream about being hugged by my friends,when I am with them I just keep looking at them hugging other people and thinking "I want a hug too" but in the end I just try to forget about it,I don't expect to get a hug,so why should I ask for one?

My friends keep talking about how they need therapy and I just stand there thinking about how I have tried starving my self and the fresh yeets on my ankle that I made in the basement of the library we meet in with a random pair of scissors I found. No one seems to notice when I'm sad but when the more popular people are sad everyone notices and everyone cares, no one even says anything when I bearly talk and when I do it's just a mumble. People always says that you should talk to people when you feel sad or depressed but who do I talk to when every time I try no one understands. Sorry to bother u I just needed to vent

Can't take the pressure and lack of solution.

This is it I guess, I've finally grown the balls to fulfil my plan. Hopefully, if all goes well and all of you won't have to deal with me again. Thanks for putting up with me for this long, I love yall. ✌️

I say comfort is what we need after all the pain and suffering that we been through, so please dont take that away to others just to push them farther, a tree only grows after a storm.

I'm currently on Zoloft and Lamictal for anxiety. Few months ago I stated having panic attacks, but they resolved with zoloft. Yesterday something very freighting happened to me. As I was talking to my daughter's teacher I felt I was slowly disconnecting from the surroundings. I was forgetting where I was, who I was talking to. This horror lasted 2 hours. After I finally took Klonopin the symptoms stopped. I'm relatively a healthy person. I will be seeing a neurologist to make sure that there is no other underling condition. Did this ever happened to you?

I need to know an effective and painless method Please if u know some tell me I can't last longer.

emptypost

It’s over I can’t believe it I never thought I’d get this. driving to a quiet park and I’m gonna call the cops before I do it. So I won’t be to smelly to come clean it up. I’m lining the car with garbage bags. I’m sorry for anyone that has to suffer here on this earth in your body when it is the thing you resent most. I hope you find peace I will soon. Maybe you’ll hear about me in the news I’m from PA not much information. But just a hint I guess. Thank you good luck and goodbye see ya on the other side.

What do you do if you aren’t suicidal but you can’t stop thinking about suicide? Like I have no intention or plan but I think about it all day every day.

So I’ve suffered some heavy depression for a long time, my ex that I absolutely loved to the max just got along so well, she was so gorgeous, caring, loving and nice. She was the first girl I actually loved in a long long time. Me and her were so good for each other I thought. She knew I was suffering from depression but the crazy part is every day I was with her I was improving. She was the support I used to slowly walk up the steps to getting better. I was happy as can be to have a girl like that and for myself to climb out of that depressed hole I was in for so long. Well we got into an argument before our breakup because I thought we were being pretty distant and she blew up. She told me “I just can’t handle it anymore” and left me, I was heartbroken. She couldn’t handle my depression anymore and that’s what hurt the most. I loved her with my whole heart and now she looks at me like I’m some stranger on the streets. She never truly explained to me why everything happened and she won’t talk to me at all now. I thought I was making us stronger by opening up to her and having her help me but she never told me how much I was hurting her with my depression. She saw me improve so much and deciding to leave outta no where made no sense to me. Well here we are today, all that progress lost. I feel worse than I ever have in my life. It really fucking hurts to know the one person I loved most couldn’t handle me at my worst and left me to rot. I don’t even know what to do. I’ve deadass just been hooking up with girls at parties and drinking with my friends until I blackout. I don’t know if I can trust another girl with any of my emotions again or even trust myself to love someone again. I just wanted to give her the world but I ruined it for her and us. I’m a piece of shit I know, but i just want her to see that I was improving and for her to come back.

The only reason im not dead yet is bc of my friends amd family. I could neber hurt them like that. But its draining. I fucking hate it. I hate it with every fiber. But i have to stay alive so at least this bullshit paim doesn't affect others. This is bullshit.

I don't know if this is the right place to post about this, but I thought I would give it a shot. I've been an artist my whole life, ever since I can remember. I went through many years of art school, and while studying I was doing well. Art has been synonymous with my identity forever, and I've always wanted to be an artist more than anything else. But I've also had mental health issues my entire life, and I've gone through a couple of periods of terrible depression in the past. I've been medicated since I was a child, so that's helped most of the time. But now, starting last autumn, I've gone into a depressive period that's a bit different than the previous ones. I think a combination of my medication losing efficacy and experiencing an artistic burnout are the reasons for this depression. I did two solo shows recently and have been pushing myself to draw so much, so I think burnout is very likely. In any case, I started to notice that I didn't enjoy drawing anymore. Drawing became a terrible, dreaded chore. It started to feel like way too much work - and that work was not interesting or exciting. The work was also difficult and just SO much. SO many lines. Honestly, when I think about drawing I start to feel physically unwell. I've been advised to take a break from drawing, and I'm doing so. I haven't actually drawn anything for about a couple of weeks, and I'm going for one month. I'm just so terrified that I'll never enjoy drawing again. I can't even remember what it feels like to not hate drawing. But I still want to be an artist so much. Plus, I honestly don't have any other hobbies unrelated to art that I could focus on. Nothing else really interests me. I should also mention that I'm switching medications right now, and I'm about to go onto a full dose of my new medication (which is actually one that's worked for me in the past). I've never experienced anything like this, and I'm so scared. Any thoughts or advice would be super appreciated.

I’m either gonna kill myself then or cut my wrists bad enough I have to be admitted. I’m a failure at school, I’m a failure at my job, I’m a failure at keeping a relationship, I’m a failure at making friends and I’m a failure at being my own fucking gender. Everyone hates me and they’ve began to stop hiding it. I know it’d relieve everyone if I just died. Only question is, how should I do it? Cutting myself hasn’t worked the other times, so I’ll probably poison myself with carbon monoxide or overdose. I wish I had a reason to stay and I wish I didn’t have to, but life never gets better and I have to at this point.

Does this mean I'm getting "better"? She is the most selfish cunt that ever walked the earth. I've been so close to ending it all. Two weeks ago she screamed at me "just do it! Kill yourself"

Every time I go home, I'll start to overthink. Then the feels would just all come attacking me. Staying at the office just lets me forget the things that haunts me. Sometimes I would just lay in the rest area for hours with a relaxed feeling and it would be the opposite when I get home. The only reason I go home is because I have to take care of the family. I even get good sleeps at the office than at home.

this loneliness is killing me inside. i can’t take it anymore. i don’t know what I did to deserve everything going wrong for me. i’m going to die alone, might as well do it now

My life is not worth living. I am the most destructive person to myself and the ones I love. Everyday looks the same, I go to school, I work, I procrastinate, I stress, I cry, I sleep, I repeat. Every. Day. Is. The. Same and it gets unbearable. I haven’t talked to my therapist for 4 month because it doesn’t help, going inpatient for the 5th time doesn’t help. Nothing helps. And school makes it IMPOSSIBLE for me to enjoy literally fucking ANYTHING. I NEVER in my whole life felt this depressed, even though I survived an suicide attempt a few years ago, that doesn’t compare to the depression I am feeling right now and it’s scary. After all these years of therapy I am doing even worse. I just want to lie in my bed and fall asleep and never wake up again. But I am also to scared that people think I don’t try enough or that I am lazy so I put on a mask and pretend, smile, make people laugh, pretend, till I come home and completely destroy my mother with my thoughts and depression. It’s so fucking exhausting. I had such high expectations for my life, I had dreams and hope. I just wanna disappear so badly but I am also scared

My offer to my dream university was just declined. I don't know what i'm going to do now. I was so sure. I'm broken.

I have been diagnosed with major depression and anxiety years ago. Hi, I'm a 41 year old male with a good job, make good money, why should I be hurting? Depression, anxiety and suicide runs in my family. I have been committed to a 72 hour hold twice for being suicidal and planning my suicide. I do self harm. I think about suicide weekly, sometimes daily. I don't want medication but I self medicate with alcohol, work obsession or high risk sports. I'm embarrassed because I can't fit in with life, I'm broken with no fix. I suffer in silence as I don't want to bother my family, friends and girlfriend. I have planned my suicide many times, even tonight. Yes, I have written many suicide notes as well. If I tell someone, they lock me up without shoelaces. This is not what I need, this causes me to hide it even more. I'm broken with no fix. I already go through cycles of being numb, angry, and sad. I don't want to feel numb from medication (I've been there before, what is the purpose.). I don't trust anyone to talk about this with, they respond with ways that make me hide my what I truly feel. I want this pain to stop, the pain I've been feeling for years. Why am I broken? Besides not waking up, I don't know what else is the answer. I understand why my family member committed suicide, I get it, it isn't selfish, it is to stop the pain that many can't understand. I don't know what to do. Do I end it, hide in silence and keep everyone happy, or say something and be even more miserable and in turn become more numb? Who really cares? I know alcohol doesn't help, but it helps me sleep, or if I don't drink here I am wide awake trying to make my brain quiet. I do high risk sports, secretly hoping that I will die. I spent last night at the emergency room alone, I didn't contact my family, friends and erased a message for my girlfriend (I wasn't sure if it was a heart attack and didn't want to die alone but didn't want to bother anyone). My girlfriend saw some erased messages, so I told my girlfriend that it was some chest pain I wanted to make sure wasn't anything, I never told my family or friends and never will. I don't know what to do, I need this to stop. This is my cycle, I'm numb or angry at everyone and push everyone way. If I wake up tomorrow, I will think whoever wrote this is an idiot and stupid, numb and ignorant to the pain I feel. Cycle repeats. Help.

I’m just venting into the void because I feel bad for constantly annoying my friends but I has an epiphany 20 minutes ago that like...yeah I’m absolutely going to die single and unloved. I have friends and family but literally no one wants me romantically. All I attract are toxic folks that just suck the energy out of me. I just had to cut things off with this guy I was really into because I realized he just used me and didn’t care about me but now I’m like maybe I should just stick with him but at least I can pretend he cares about me. Or at least wants to fuck me. That’s probably the best I can get. I’m never going to have a healthy romantic relationship and I’m gonna learn to accept that but for tonight...I cry. I’m just too ugly. Not interesting enough. Not funny enough. Not thin enough. My ass isn’t fat enough. Waist aint small enough. Not smart enough. But hey in a few years I’ll have a kid on my own and I’ll pour all the love I never had into the lil human so they don’t end up like me. Broken and unlovable. I’m spiraling.

Everyone ends up hating me eventually. My psychologist of almost ten years blew up at me and kicked me out of my last session. I’m doubting every interaction I have with every person I meet. I’m doubting every interaction I have with every single one of my friends. I can’t get my substance abuse issues under control. I’m my own worst enemy. I was accused of being a bully and was subsequently bullied by the workplace bullying system. I uprooted my life to change for the better and as part of the domino of doing so my dog was killed. I would give anything to be a different person right now. To not have to be my awful, repulsive, contemptible self.

How do I just forget something or certain things that just make me not have any will to live and get the urge to hurt myself each time I remember or think about them?

I was going to a doctor who just wanted to prescribe medication, but none of it seemed to really help. And my previous doctor was the same. I tried with no luck to self refer to some mental health places but nothing panned out. I changed insurance recently and had to switch doctors. They referred me to a place which both me and my doctor were under the impression would handle medication and therapy. So I scheduled a needs assessment and thought, "finally." But after the needs assessment they just wanted to refer me to more places. I tried calling most of them and they were either full with long wait lists, no longer existed(maybe wrong number provided) or no answer. I called my doctor back and they sent a referral to another place, and told me I should get a call within the week. Its been 3 weeks now and no call. Im starting to think finding treatment is hopeless. And jumping through hoops just to find a potential match is just draining.

So depression sucks, it really does. The internal fighting of oneself, I’m just wanting it to stop. I’m not suicidal (this time) but other times it gets the better of me. This is the most candid I’ve ever been. I use to type long monologues into the google search bar of how I would like life to end, that would be the closest I come to speaking about my internal sadness. I would delete it along with my search history as I would hate for someone to view it and be concerned. This is a “throwaway” account I guess, but my reason for posting is not to say I’m sick and about to end it, but I’m hoping there are ways to help it. I can’t do this ‘train your brain’ crap or self help books. I’ve had numerous meds but lose sense of who I am. Is there a physical therapy, shock, sleep etc etc that can jolt you out of this mental rut? I have my vision on psychedelic therapies, those look promising. Any other possible helps?

It’s been almost a year since I was put on antidepressants and nothings changed. They’ve tried different meds and different doses but it doesn’t work. At first I was slowly giving up but now I just rapidly feel like nobody can help me like I’m just a shit stain everyone walks on and I know for a fucking fact I wouldn’t be missed. Jesus Christ I sound pitiful but god damn it there’s nothing left for me. I’ve been diagnosed with PTSD recently and they tell me that my depression is from the PTSD but Jesus I feel like I’m just another mark on the books of a fucked up people. Every day I hope to fucking god I don’t wake up and every day I do. Everyday it takes me two hours to get to sleep only to have nightmares and wake up after two hours. I’m so fucking tired and I’m so fucking done with trying. The universe has won and I feel like now it’s just waiting with a bowl of popcorn to see how I end. I feel like I’m constantly screaming and screaming in a room full of people but nobody cares to look nobody hears me. It’s just so fucking worthless to keep trying it seems.

anybody know any sites or location to go for help with seeing a lot of trauma and that the has PTSD from 9/11 as well that are easy get to and join in nyc Brooklyn

this is the first time I cut myself and it hurts. the pain snapped me back to reality and I don't know what to do... even though I thought that i was getting a little bit better. I wipe and wipe but the blood won't go away. the pain hurts, I'm not used to any kind of physical pain and I can't stop crying. why am i like this.....

By nature of my mental health conditions, I'm someone who doesnt really have any aspirations in life and even if I did I wouldnt have the energy or stability to achieve it, as has proven to be the case in the past. I wouldnt say im depressed but more just apathetic and accepting of the thought that nothing will change, that this is as good as it gets. I've experienced all that I've wanted to experience so what more is there to do except wait to die? Im not interested in marriage, children or any type of career. I just spend all day sleeping, eating and watching TV which is getting boring after doing it for several years. It wouldnt be so bad if I could enjoy some of my solitary hobbies that I used to enjoy but now I just pick something up and then lose interest within a few minutes. It just feels like I'm delaying the inevitable at this point as I dont know how many more years I can put up with doing the same old crap until something other than myself kills me. I feel guilty for thinking it but I just wish that my 2 family members that I'm close to would die just so that I can't feel guilty in my last moments about leaving them with grief. Then again, I know it'd be a relief for them in a way knowing that I wont be hopelessly trying to survive without them in this life. It's becoming easier to see the potential positives to me killing myself compared to the negatives. What's worse is that I'm transgender and have completed my transition (F>M) but rather than it being a lease of life, its become more like a 'phew, at least now I can die in peace' type of situation. So theres a peaceful element involved now which makes it all the more tempting. Im just progressively finding it harder to see a point in living and it doesn't seem like anything is able to change it at this point

You ever break up with your gf cus you want to be independent and you don’t think you want to be with that person and you feel fine the first month and then after that it hits you that you’ll never be able to hit that ever again or see that body or talk to them every night and you contemplate on how fucking stupid you are to do such a thing and then get depressed and a couple weeks later realize you made the right choice and then the cycle keeps repeating throughout the year

29M. Depression and OCd. Started off 50mg Sertraline 3 weeks ago for two weeks; raised to 75mg one week ago. Dear mods, if this is not the right place, kindly let me know. If would be great if you could direct me to the right subreddit. English is not my first language so please bear with me. **TL:DR** I have done a lot of reading when I procrastinate from work. I want to start a daily journal on reddit to keep track of my positives and negatives, my progress, and hopefully get advices on when I go wrong. I noticed that I get overtly stressed over tiny chores/work/things to do, and I'd like to tackle it via progressive increase in exposure and desensitization. Then incorporate other CBT techniques. ***Story/Background:*** I have only recently been diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder after a close friend forced me to. Looking back now, I think I first had mild depression around 16yo. I recall having a general apathy towards life, results, ambition, family, and friends. Any motivation is fleeting and I'd spend most of my days daydreaming. Perhaps hoping for some catastrophe in the school so that I'm no longer bored. The depression seemingly subsided - at least I think so - as I continued on aimlessly on some path my family/culture/friends expected of me. while I'm not excelling, I'm not underperforming. I have close group of friends and we enjoy movies and outings. It all went to hell when I was around 22/23yo. I should add that I have Contamination OCD and during my University days, decided against my better judgement that I should live with a close friend. This proved horrible as my OCD meant I couldn't live normally or telerate their habits. I thought I had it in control and hid my oddities well. I didn't. My housemates at the time hated me and talked loads behind my back. All the while I was oblivious about their hatred towards me while they acted normal around me. I noticed somewhere around 3 months in. I had the chance to look through their messages and curiousity started my depression. Reading through all those hate filled complaints and messages was painful. Having to sleep in the same room as him after was impossivle. To act civil while I moved out was tough. While we did not have a big fight because we both hated confrontation, our 6year friendship fell apart; along with it, I resolutely cut ties with the entire group of friends that was associated with this guy. I believe this to be the "event" which kickstarted my depression. Worse still, I moved to a different place and had another falling out with another group of housemates. We started off great, even went on a trip together. In about two months, I don't recall the cause of it. But I remember they confronted me on something and I just started withdrawing from them. After that, I stopped going to lectures and classes. I was fired from my club because I couldn't perform anymore. (I spent the first year making it into the committee), As a result, I graduated with a subpar GPA. I've never felt worse. I feel like I disaappointed my dad, wasted his money, and failed to prove myself to those who looked down on me. I spent the next two years isolating myself in my room, only going out for groceries if I absolutely have to. I avoided the housemates by being active at odd hours. I lied to my family that I was trying and failing to apply for jobs while the truth is I mindlessly watched seasons after seasons of brainless TV. I am eternally thankful that my dad supported me through this lie. He paid for my rent, food, and courses I took because I wanted to extend my visa. Oh, I was also an international student so you can imagine how much money that costed. I cannot begin to describe the amount of guilt I feel. The reason I'm even trying to get better is because of guilt. My main motivation is to make them proud of me. When I was 27, I spent a year dodging their concerned calls. They were so worried they sent a friend over to check on me. And finally, they took a flight over themselves. My visa finally expired and I went home. After getting home, I once again lied to them about job searching and spent a year doing my best to avoid family events and outings. Finally, last year they forcefully got me a job with my relatives and I've feel into a routine since then. I majored in Finance and Accounting in Uni. But my results were subpar and it has been 3-4years at this point. I barely remember a thing and I can't perform. I can't even get myself to pick the knowledge back up. Admittedly though, the work I perform doesn't require that much. But alas, I fail to perform. I find it difficult to get myself to issue a simple invoice which takes 5muinutes tops. I am more and more disappointed in myself over time. I hate the job, but I haven't even sent out a single resume. The very thought of going for interviews and exposing myself as incompetent frightens me. GEtting judged by anonymous HR people makes me hate myself. I contemplated all kinds of alternatives ie: getting a remote part time job so that I can make extra income while improving myself. Taking courses online and hopefully put me ahead of others. Ultimately though, I have not brought myself to do any of those things. Even this reddit post took 5days of contemplating before I could do it. I know what I should do, and people will say "you never know if you never try" but I can't help but imagine the negatives. Posting for help on reddit for example opens me up to judgement from random strangers, trolls, even scams, some of them incredibly damaging. Improving myself via courses/books/lectures can be an enormous time sink. Not to mention that what is learned may not even be useful to me in the future and may end up being a waste of time. Currently, I spend the measly 4 hours of free time I get after getting back from work watching movies or reading novels. They're not entertaining nor boring, but they keep me sane. I dread the day that they are taken away. ***Analysis:*** Growing up, I've been instilled with the idea that I am smart, but lazy. I believe this became a part of my core identify. I'm 29 and I don't recall ever working hard, for anything. I've coasted through life however, largely because my parents made me go to numerous additional tuitions, cram classes, etc. I've never done homework, mostly copied them off of friends, but have the concept repeated to you enough times and it gets carved into memory. My results up till 15yo were always above average. I believe due to the circumstances, I grew up without developing any self-discipline skills. Never having an aim or goal and simply going through the motions meant I was lost the moment those guidance were taken away. Believing myself to be smart also creates a subconcious anxiety - what if I worked hard but still failed? that would mean I'm not smart. Throughout life, I have had a panic attack twice. Once when I was 10. An art project which took me 20minutes tops was criticised and I broke down in tears and hyperventilated, having to be taken home from school. The next was when I was 16. Around this time, I was getting progessively more apathetic at school. I struggled to get up in the morning and was often late to school. I was late for 10 times and my parents were called to school which resulted in me hyperventilating once again. I also spent a lot of time gaming which I believe was some sort of coping mechanism similar to mindlessly watching youtube or browsing reddit. Not entirely sure what these events mean. But I think I can conclude that I have an inability to accept criticism or face consequences of my own actions. ***What I want to do:*** As stated above, I want to tackle my self-disclipline, responsibility avoidance, and anxiety towards work, via progressively increasing exposure. I will practice mindful relaxation and attempt to associate the relaxation with the trigger(work). I will also journal on reddit. 1. To have accountability, 2. to further dissect my thoughts, analyze the issues, solve them. and 3. to get advice. Thank you for reading this far. Or if you skipped, thanks anyways for your time. I may have left out some details or major events in life, I'm not entirely sure and I'm too tired to go back and check.

I can’t do this anymore and I’ve been crying for 3 hours now and I can’t get myself to stop. Everyone in my life hates me and my family doesn’t want me. My grades are down the drain and I hate how I look. I really don’t think it’s worth it anymore.

I've got my date set and all, but it can't come soon enough. I didn't anticipate looking forward to it, but I genuinely can't wait. When I first set it, I frequently became nauseous and dizzy thinking about my impending mortality, but as I get closer and closer to the day, the less worried and more ready I feel. It's becoming difficult not to discuss it with others or bring it up during conversations, especially because it's on my mind 24/7, it's the most remarkable thing that will happen to me probably ever. This probably sounds like an egotistical rant "I, I, I, me, me, me", but I do not care, for too long my life has been dictated by other people and factors out of my control and in my last 15 days, I'm gonna fucking focus on myself, nobody and nothing else matters to me now (when have I ever mattered to them?)

My best friend is literally the sweetest person ever she brought me so much chocolate and facemasks to make me happy, even if its just for a few seconds and I just can't stop crying about that. I really, really, really want to die, I even cut myself to prepare me mentally for it and if she would have known that I'm doing that right now, she knocked on my door and gave me that. I really don't know what to do anymore. I don't want her to be sad because of my death but on the other hand I just can't stand this life anymore. Please help me. She is literally the only reason I am still alive.

The fight has left me. I really don’t have the strength to keep pushing through every day. If it weren’t for my wife and parents I would have checked out long ago. I can’t do that to them. I also can’t keep on like this. The mask is starting to crack. I’ve no lack for support or professional help. I take my meds. I go to therapy. I look after myself physically. I’m doing the right things, yet nearly every minute of every day I just want to die. I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m basically waiting for the clock to run out. That’s 20-30 years away. Holy hell is that thought terrifying. This feels like prison with no chance of parole.

Today I got brave enough to tell my mom I’m not okay and that I need to go to the hospital. I told her last year that I tried to die when she found my suicide notebook and saw my SH marks on my arm. I haven’t been going to school and she sees me cry almost everyday. But when I told her she said “what made you think like that” and “you can’t think like that”. I said we need to go to the hospital idk what’s going to happen tonight. She said why would I go to the hospital and for what reason, like she doesn’t know. I told her never mind and she just moved on like it was nothing. Like her daughter is nothing. I also told my dad today, but all he could ass was “why would u feel the NEED to think like that” and asked me a bunch of questions as if it’s my fault I’m depressed and want to die. My friends know that I go through depressive moods and the first time they cared but by now, they don’t even bother to check up on me. I’ve been trying to get better by myself but I can’t do it. I stopped SH but that doesn’t make the thought go away. I’m just so tired and alone. If I die tonight, atleast I tried.

I was scared he was going to do what he did to me to another little girl, and so I finally reported my abuse to the police nearly 6 years after it had ended. There was no physical evidence and so to press charges they need me to testify in court. I’m going to testify, but then I’m going to kill myself. Regardless of the verdict, I will have made my disgusting and horrible actions known to the public so history cannot repeat itself, and little girls will be safe from the predator who stole so much from me. It’s just so much easier to guarantee that my suffering will end than to expect a court to do right thing. In all honestly, I never imagined living this long, I never thought I’d make it to my senior year of high school. I’m supposed to go to college in the fall, but I’ll be dead by then. I wish I could do it sooner but I don’t want to be the coward that let others get hurt when it was preventable.

Long story short.. I've been in and out of college, failing out two different times taking breaks from classes once or twice. I've had on and off addiction problems with alcohol during this time.. basically I've been trying to get a bachelor's degree for 7 years. The last 4 years of college has caused me soo much stress. My parents are wealthy and not to say they are at fault in any way for my failire but they have sort of enabled me financially to keep trying to get a degree. Ive wasted probly around $100,000 dollars on failed/withdrawn classes. My sister deeply resents me for this. I have an insane amount of guilt for this too even though my parents say they would pay anything and help me in any way they can for me to graduate. So after all that, i made it to my final semester b4 graduation. Im only taking 2 classes but i might fail 1 of them and that would result in my 3rd and final academic dismissal, meaning i wount get a degree cause of a flunk in my final semester. I just dont understand why i cant just sit here and do my homework and actually care. My problem is i dont give a crap about anything unless i have an innate desire or interest in it. Like my motivation is just 0 in anything thats academic i dont understand why! So after all this.. even if i do pass and graduate i feel like im so broken, endured so much stress by the age of 26 that i feel like just a vegetable now. i cant fathom myself using my business degree to get a "real job" i dont know if ill ever be able to get over the idea that i spent over 250,000 dollars on a degree and i have no desiree to work a normal job because i feel like my brain is this empty void that only seeks pleasure and has no purpose or drive. On the surface, im a happy bubbly person. Im outgoing and very sociable. I feel deep down i really have alot of potential but im soooo lost and so easily overwhelmed by everything. I feel the slightest bit of resistance and i just shut down mentally and seek pleasure in the form of leisure activity or alcohol. Idk where im even going with this.. sorta just letting it all out i guess because i have nobody to talk too. If you read this far im sorry for all the grammatical errors i just typed it all out and didnt re read it once. Have a nice day

I’ve reached this point in my life that I don’t want to die anymore. I need to die. I want to believe it gets better like so many people say. I want to find that magical medication that people claim makes them feel better. I’m holding on in the hope that maybe it’s true but I don’t know how much longer I can hold on.

mostly not in a serious way just wondering how i am going to do it, how death is like, would it be like pulling the plug of a TV? just a blank screen ? will your soul leave your body ? sometime i think if i am going to leave a note what should i put in it? maybe i should write something in german just to mess with my family or tattoo some satanic symbols all over my body for no reason just i am weird and messing with people's heads one last time sounds fun.

I'm 18 years old. I lost my car and my job. I had to move in with my boyfriend as a last resort but I'm very close to him kicking me out. My boyfriend resents me for moving in with him. I have nowhere else to go after that. I'm 3 months away from graduation but in order to tolerate school I have to show up high as a kite. So many people there hate me. The work is just piling up and I cry in class almost once a week it seems. I had one shot at a decent job and I didn't get it. There's nowhere else near me where I can apply. But my boyfriend got a job at the same place. I'm volatile and emotional. I hurt everyone around me. I've driven everyone away. I have literally, and I mean literally, no one. I don't know why I'm like this. All I do is make other's lives hell. Fuck I want to die. I want to die as painfully as I can. I want to be flayed, burned, and disemboweled. It's what I deserve in life. I've caused so much pain for everyone around me. I fucking hate myself beyond words. I can't think of anyone I hate more than myself. I just want to die. I want to die so, so badly. But I can't do it.

I can do errands and generally go to work. I can make myself go to therapy for now. I'm exhausted the whole time, and it's hard to concentrate, but I can do it. I will admit I've called into work 7 or 8 times this year though. I usually only call in once or twice a year. Whoops. So I can generally do what I need to do. I can't cook or maintain my personal hygiene though. I've just been microwaving leftovers that someone else made or eating fast food. I haven't showered in 4 weeks. I only brush my teeth once a day, and even then it's half-assed. I haven't brushed my hair in a few days. I lay around when I'm not running errands/working/going to therapy and it makes my body sore as hell. I've been getting about 4 hours of sleep on average a night. I haven't hung out with anybody in about a month and a half. I text friends, but can't talk about anything other than...ugh. How I feel. It's pathetic. Am I really depressed if I can "function"? I mean, really. I can do the big things I need to do. Just not the small things.

I feel like I’m cursed. I don’t understand what I’ve done to deserve this. I try to be good, I’m not an evil person... I care, I try to be there, I try to help to others. My entire life has been shit... addicted parents who’ve never been there emotionally for me, abusive relationships, eating disorders, anxiety, depression... It’s funny how one little thing can change everything. As March started, I truthfully started feeling better, things were on the up and up... I even went to the gym and worked out yesterday, fully motivated to keep it going. Then, last night yet another curse. Now we’re back at square one, and the worst part is I have no one. I’m alone, physically and emotionally. I don’t have any friends or family to talk to or confide in. My partner is just as bad as I am in terms of mental state, so I can’t rely on him emotionally at all. I’ve managed to get through so many things in my life... and I thought they would make me strong.... but I was completely wrong. I’m weak. I’m sick of everything, I’m starting to really lose my faith in everything and everyone. I went to sleep last night wishing to never wake up again. I’m so disappointed to be alive right now.

I can’t complain because its not justified. I hate myself and this because it isn’t justified. It’s just the way I feel about half of the week. I need distractions but sometimes they don’t even work. My friends are beginning to call me snowflake now because I’ve been taking stuff that i didn’t used to take seriously seriously. And I’ve seen how they complain about other people so I can’t complain or talk to them. I know it sounds pathetic but reddit has been the only way I can talk about it because I can’t talk about it with anyone else. I’m a fucking pathetic piece of shit for this because I’m becoming a burden to everyone around me.

My cousin died last weekend. My dad and I did not attend the funeral because he molested me when I was a kid. My family is angry with us.... particularly my dad. There has been a rift for years and recently it felt like it was getting better but now it's all fucked again. Ever since he died I've had an overwhelming amount of emotions some angry, mostly angry.. now I feel sad for being the root cause of this rift. My family is angry and I can't tell them why. I don't want to and honestly what good would it do now. I'd rather just deal with it and move on. I feel like it's all my fault. Everything feels overwhelming I just feel like I can't.

Don’t usually drink, but do you ever feel so useless and depressed you just want to drink yourself into oblivion?

I don't even know how to begin this. My life is so pathetic and pointless it's sad. I was sobbing for hours today about what a waste of space I am and I don't even know what to do about it anymore. I sit in my room all day everyday. No job, no hobbies, only one friend that lives a half hour away from me and I don't even drive (pathetic). I want to kill myself, I want this stupid life to end, every single day is the same. I can't even feel positive emotions anymore like happy or excited. All I ever can feel is sad, annoyed, angry, upset, and insecure. I barely even feel empathy. I feel like my brain is wired backwards. I just want, more than anything, for this life to end. The only reason I haven't killed myself yet is because I don't want to hurt those close to me, but everyday I pray and hope that some natural cause takes me out so I don't have to continue. My patience is growing thin though and I just don't see any reason to keep going, I'm seriously considering giving up and my life is so obviously pointless I don't think anyone would blame me. If anyone read this -- thank you, I'm sorry for taking up your time with my issues.

Every day now for years, it's been exactly the same. Wake up, attend online school, get scolded by my teachers and parents for my poor grades and how slow I am, spend hours doing homework I struggle with, be overwhelmed and stressed about my life, cry and contemplate dying, go to bed, and repeat. On the weekends I'll either just sit in my room all day watching YouTube or nap all day because I can't even find the energy to get out of bed and do anything. I can't even find the will to finish my homework. I don't enjoy anything anymore. I don't have any skills, talents, or interests, and I can't even get a job since I live in the middle of nowhere and I'm terrified of learning to drive. I don't even really know anything about the real world. I'm just a husk of a person who rots in isolation in my room all day fantasizing about being dead. I am so desperately alone and I feel like a absolute worthless moron. My entire life I've literally never even had one friend. Every time in the past when I was going to public school and tried to make friends with people I always fucked up and made myself look idiotic because I never understood how to talk to people and form connections with them. I can't even make online friends. No one cares about me, not even my own parents. I just am so tired of trying to survive each day of hell by myself. I don't see how life can get any better when I'm already incapable of achieving anything. It doesn't help either that I'm so scared about the future. I don't know what I want out of my life, and even if I did, I'd have no idea how to get there with how far I've fallen behind everyone else and how unmotivated I am. I'm scared of fucking my life up even more than I already have. Maybe it'd be easier at this point for me to just drown myself to prevent having a depressing future where I'm suffering even more. I don't really know.

My Step-Grandmother, who has been extremely abusive and toxic to myself and my Mother all of our lives got diagnosed with cancer last year. It’s not terminal at this time. However, she has required us to dedicate much of our time to her. She no longer has a car for whatever reason so I am forced to drive her around all day, everyday. My Mother has to grocery shop for her constantly and buy her food constantly. She is still extremely abusive and no matter how much I help out, she still abuses me and it’s never enough. She resents my Grandfather for passing away earlier in his life even though he died in his sleep of a heart attack. Before he passed she was still extremely abusive. But it’s now at an all time high because of her condition. Does it make me a bad person for wanting her to die so we can finally be at peace? I have struggled with severe depression and anxiety since a very young age and this on top of it all has been VERY hard on me. I’m at the end of my rope.

Me and my husband are separating and I’m fighting these thoughts I want to die I am going to study abroad I have Prozac if I take them all maybe? I have work tomorrow so maybe not I have electrolyte tablets maybe that will do something I don’t want to fail my classes I should study But I physically feel drained from hurt and crying I want to end everything I’m literally laying in bed with zero motivation to even sit up knowing I need to do work, and instead am googling pills I have to see if they will do anything Will I take everything I have? Probably not. Do I want to? Yes. But also no. And everything hurts. It’s been a long time since I’ve felt this way and I don’t like it.