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wocka | What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground Beef! | Cow With No Legs | Animal | 4 |
wocka | What's black and white and red all over?
A newspaper. | Black, White and Red | Other / Misc | 4 |
wocka | There's this dyslexic guy... he walked into a bra... | Into the Bar | Bar | 4 |
wocka | There was a dyslexic insomniac agnostic.
He laid awake all night wondering if there really was a Dog. | Pondering the afterlife | One Liners | 4 |
wocka | What do you call 500 lawyers at the bottom of the sea?
A start. | 500 Lawyers | Lawyer | 4 |
wocka | What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver?
A bad golfer goes whack, dang. A bad skydiver goes dang, whack. | What's the difference? | Sports | 4 |
wocka | A bishop, a priest, and a Rabbi walk into a bar.
The bartender looks at them and says, "What is this, a joke?" | Bishop, Priest, Rabbi | Religious | 4 |
wocka | How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one, but the bulb has got to WANT to change. | Psychologist Handyman | Lightbulb | 4 |
wocka | How many lawyers does it take to shingle the roof of a house?
It depends on how thin you slice 'em. | Shingles | Lawyer | 4 |
wocka | When cryptography is outlawed, bayl bhgynjf jvyy unir cevinpl | Bayl | One Liners | 4 |
wocka | Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says "Dam". | Concrete Wall | Animal | 4 |
wocka | If at first you don't succeed ... avoid skydiving. | If at First... | One Liners | 4 |
wocka | Knock knock.
Who's there?
interrupting cow
interrupting co---
MOO | Interrupting Cow | Knock-Knock | 4 |
wocka | Yo Mama's so ugly, I took her to the zoo, and the zookeeper said "I didn't know an animal had escaped." | Zoo Trip | Yo Momma | 4 |
wocka | Your momma is so ugly, the government moved Halloween to her birthday. | Halloween | Yo Momma | 4 |
wocka | Yo Mama's so fat, she didn't have a birth certificate, she had a blueprint! | So Fat | Yo Momma | 4 |
wocka | The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. | Birds | One Liners | 4 |
wocka | Yo mama so fat when she sat on a rainbow skittles came out! | Skittles | Yo Mama | 4 |
wocka | Yo Mama is so fat that when she ran away they had to use all four sides of the milk carton. | Milk Carton | Yo Momma | 4 |
wocka | Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Dwayne
Dwayne who?
Dwayne the bathtub mommy, I'm dwowning. | Dwayne | Knock-Knock | 4 |
wocka | How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one-they don't like to share the spotlight. | Actors | Lightbulb | 4 |
wocka | Q: How many auto mechanics does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Six - One to force it with a hammer and five to go out for more bulbs. | Mechanics | Lightbulb | 4 |
wocka | What do you call a short psychic on the lam?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A small medium at large! | Psychic | Other / Misc | 4.5 |
wocka | Q: Why won't sharks attack lawyers?
A: Professional courtesy. | Sharks | Lawyer | 4 |
wocka | Knock-knock
Who's there?
Boo!
Boo who?
Don't cry it's just a joke | Boo! | Knock-Knock | 4 |
wocka | Roses are red
Violets are blue
I'm schizophrenic
And so am I! | Roses are Red | Medical | 4 |
wocka | Yo Mama is so fat, she went to buy a water bed and they put a blanket over the Altantic Ocean. | So Fat... | Yo Momma | 4 |
wocka | A hotdog walks into a bar and orders a beer.
The bartender replies, "Sorry, we don't serve food here". | Hotdog | Bar | 4 |
wocka | "I never forget a face. However, in your case, I'll
be glad to make an exception."
-Groucho Marx | Faces | Insults | 4 |
wocka | Diplomacy: The ability to tell a person to go to hell in such a way that they look forward to the trip. | Definition of Diplomacy | Other / Misc | 4 |
wocka | Q: Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance?
A: Because it had no body to go with. | Lone Bones | Other / Misc | 4 |
wocka | Hear about the terrorist that hijacked a 747 full of lawyers?
He threatened to release one every hour if his demands weren't met. | 747 Full of Lawers | Lawyer | 4 |
wocka | My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. Now she's 97 years old and we don't know where the hell she is. | Grandma | One Liners | 4 |
wocka | Lawyers creed: A man is innocent until proven broke. | Lawyers Creed | One Liners | 4 |
wocka | "All my life I wanted to be someone; I guess I
should have been more specific."
-Jane Wagner | Someone | One Liners | 4 |
wocka | You know that little indestructible black box that
is used on planes?
Why can't they make the whole plane out of the
same stuff? | Black Box | Other / Misc | 4 |
wocka | Mind Over Matter
If you don't mind,
it doesn't matter. | Mind Over Matter | Puns | 4 |
wocka | Why is it that when we talk to God we call it
praying, yet when God talks to us we are schizophrenic?
-Lily Tomlin | Praying | Religious | 4 |
wocka | Yo mama so fat, she coughed next to a corn field and made popcorn. | Popcorn | Yo Momma | 4 |
wocka | What did the Zen Buddhist say to the New York hot-dog vendor?
"Make me one with everything." | Zen | One Liners | 4.5 |
wocka | How many men does it take to change a roll of
toilet paper?
We don't know, it has never happened. | Toilet Paper | Men / Women | 4 |
wocka | Did you hear about the new dictionary for masochists?
It has all the words, but they're not in alphabetical order. | New Dictionary | One Liners | 4 |
wocka | Never ever take a sleeping pill and a laxative in the same night. | Tips on Pill Taking | One Liners | 4 |
wocka | My sister gave birth in a state-of-the-art delivery room. It was so high tech that the baby came out cordless! | High Tech Delivery | One Liners | 4 |
wocka | Why don't ghosts make good magicians?
You can see right through them! | Ghosts | One Liners | 4 |
wocka | Yo mama's so fat that when she went bungee jumping, she took down the whole bridge with her. | Bungee Jumping | Yo Momma | 4 |
wocka | What do you call an Irishman sitting in your backyard?
Paddy O'Furniture | Irishman | One Liners | 4 |
wocka | How do you know that carrots are good for your eyesight?
Have YOU ever seen a rabbit with glasses? | Carrots | Animal | 4 |
wocka | "He who laughs last, thinks slowest." | Laughs last | One Liners | 4 |
wocka | How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb?
One I hope. | How many...... | Lightbulb | 4 |
wocka | You might be a redneck if you think fast-food is hitting a dear at 65mph. | Fastfood | Redneck | 4 |
wocka | Yo momma is so fat that she is on both sides of the family! | So... fat | Yo Momma | 4 |
wocka | There are three kinds of people in this world, those who can count, and those who can not! | Math | One Liners | 4 |
wocka | Vacation begins when dad says. "I know a shortcut"! | Vacation | One Liners | 4 |
wocka | Energizer Bunny arrested... charged with battery. | Energizer | One Liners | 4 |
wocka | Lottery, a tax on people who can't do math | Lottery | One Liners | 4 |
wocka | Be nice to your kids, they'll choose your nursing home. | Kids | One Liners | 4 |
wocka | I don't suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it. | Insanity | One Liners | 4 |
wocka | Nothing is fool proof to a sufficiently talented fool. | Fool | One Liners | 4 |
wocka | Always remember that you are unique, just like everybody else! | Unique | One Liners | 4 |
wocka | Q: What's black, blue, brown and laying in a ditch?
A: A brunette who's told too many blonde jokes. | What's Black and blue......? | Blond | 4 |
wocka | Q: What do you call a guy with a Spade in his head?
A: Doug.
Q: What do you call a guy without a spade in his head?
A: Douglas | What Do You Call. | Other / Misc | 4 |
wocka | Yo momma's so fat that I ran out of gas trying to drive around her. | Empty Gas Tank | Yo Momma | 4 |
wocka | Borrow money from a pessimist---They don't expect it back. | Pessimist | One Liners | 4 |
wocka | A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. | Conscience | One Liners | 4 |
wocka | Two ducks walk into a bar...
One duck looks at the other and says "Guess you didn't see it either." | Ducks | Bar | 4 |
wocka | A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He sidles up to the bar and announces "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw." | Dog | One Liners | 4 |
wocka | Q. Why would Snow White be a good judge?
A.Because she's the fairest in the land. | Snow White | One Liners | 4 |
wocka | What does the lion say to his friends before they go out hunting for food?
"Let us prey." | Before Hunting | Animal | 4 |
wocka | How do you get holy water?
You boil the hell out of it! | Water | Religious | 4 |
wocka | Yo momma so fat, when she turns around, people throw her a welcome back party! | Party | Yo Momma | 4 |
wocka | Yo momma so fat, at the zoo, the elephants started throwing her peanuts! | Peanuts | Yo Momma | 4 |
wocka | What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder?
"You may have graduated, but I have several degrees." | Graduated Cylinder | Other / Misc | 4 |
wocka | Q. How did Darth Vader know what Luke Skywalker had for Christmas?
A. He felt his presence! | Darth Vader | Puns | 4 |
wocka | Yo momma is so fat when she sits down in class she sits by everyone. | Class | Yo Momma | 4 |
wocka | How many worms does it take to screw in a light bulb?
What kind of an idiot thinks worms can screw in light bulbs?! | Worms | Lightbulb | 4 |
wocka | Teacher: Willy, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
Willy: Me | Name One Important Thing... | One Liners | 4 |
wocka | What do you call 100 lawyers jumping out of an airplane?
Skeet | Skydiving Lawyers | Lawyer | 4 |
wocka | Did you hear about the football game with the 0-0 score?
Never mind, it's pointless. | Did You Hear... | Other / Misc | 4 |
wocka | "Knock-Knock"
"Who's there?"
"Boo"
"Boo who?"
"Why are you crying?" | Boo | Knock-Knock | 4 |
wocka | What did the number 0 say to the number 8?
"Hey, nice belt!" | What Did... | One Liners | 4 |
wocka | Hickory, Dickory Dock
Three mice ran up the clock
The clock struck one...
The rest got away with minor injuries | Hickory, Dickory Dock... | One Liners | 4 |
wocka | Q: What do you get when you cross the Atlantic Ocean with the Titanic?
A: Halfway. | What Do You Get... | One Liners | 4 |
wocka | Q. Why don't witches like to ride their brooms when they're angry?
A. They're afraid of flying off the handle! | Witches | One Liners | 4 |
wocka | Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose. | The Law of Reality | One Liners | 4 |
wocka | Everyone has a right to be stupid. Some just abuse the privilege. | Legal Rights | One Liners | 4 |
wocka | Whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed. | Law of Probable Dispersal | One Liners | 4 |
wocka | The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement. | The Easiest Way... | One Liners | 4 |
wocka | Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die. | Health Is... | One Liners | 4 |
wocka | Golf can best be defined as an endless series of tragedies obscured by the occasional miracle. | Golf ... | Sports | 4 |
wocka | In golf, some people tend to get confused with all the numbers. They shoot a six, yell fore, and write five. | In Golf... | Sports | 4 |
wocka | I don't approve of political jokes. I've seen too many of them get elected. | I Don't Approve... | One Liners | 4 |
wocka | I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. | I Love Being Married... | One Liners | 4 |
wocka | How come we choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America? | How Come? | One Liners | 4 |
wocka | Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. | Time & Fruit Flies | Other / Misc | 4 |
wocka | If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed. | Your Exorcist | One Liners | 4 |
wocka | If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again...
It was probably worth it. | Lending Results | One Liners | 4 |
wocka | Good judgment comes from bad experience,
and a lot of that comes from bad judgment. | Good Judgment... | One Liners | 4 |
wocka | There are two theories to arguing with women.
Neither one works. | Two Theories | One Liners | 4 |
wocka | There is a fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness." | Hobby | One Liners | 4 |
Subsets and Splits