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10004zw | [removed] | 1 | 2022-12-31T18:16:22 | To All BORU contributors, Thank you :) | CONCLUDED | IsItAcOnSeQuEnCe | /r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/10004zw/to_all_boru_contributors_thank_you/ | false | false | [
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10025jy | **I am not the original poster. Originally posted by** [u/dude-wheres-my-car](https://www.reddit.com/user/dude-wheres-my-car/) **in 2015 in** r/legaladvice
​
[**Car was mistakenly towed from my own parking spot and tow company won't release my car without paying huge storage fees**](https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/3x45v9/car_was_mistakenly_towed_from_my_own_parking_spot/) (16 Dec 2015)
I own a condo that I am remodeling before renting it out again. The condo has 2 numbered parking spaces in an *oversized driveway*. My in-laws have been staying with us for the holidays, so we parked one of our cars (a black Land Cruiser) at the condo 2 weeks ago. Annoyingly, there was a dark red Toyota 4runner illegally parked there. We called the tow company contracted to our property and gave them the make/model, color, plate number, and the number of the spot. They said would tow the car. We parked our Land Cruiser in our other parking spot and went home.
Last night, I went to get the car and it was gone! I reported it stolen. Quite annoyingly, the red 4runner was still there. While I was on the phone talking to the police, my wife called the tow company to confirm that they towed the car I called about 2 weeks ago. They said they did and said it was still there. They towed MY CAR! They towed the black land cruiser parked in spot #2, instead of the red 4runner parked in spot #1. They didn't even bother to check the plates, or the model, or the color.
At the lot, they said that in order to release my car, I would have to pay the tow fees and the 2 week storage fee before they would release my car. The manager sort of acknowledged that they made an error but kept on saying that it was company policy for the fee to be paid before a release. He said they would be willing to waive the tow fee as it was their error, but I am still responsible for the storage fees which is over $1000.
The cops said this was a civil matter and they couldn't intervene.
What are my options?
1. Is there any legal action that I can do to get my car back **today** without paying $1000? They screwed up, not me. I have the money but my life is so crazy that I don't really have time to sue in small claims court and deal with that hassle plus trying to collect if I win.
2. They said if I didn't pay today, the daily fee continues to accrue. If I don't pick it up today, is there a way to stop them from continuing to charge their daily storage fee as they admitted the car was towed in error?
3. The lot has no gate. Can I just get in my truck and drive it away? They said that I would be arrested for car theft if I did.
**TL;DR** \- tow company towed my car mistakenly. They won't release my car unless I pay them storage fees. Help.
​
**Relevant Comment:**
One commenter doesn't understand how this isn't theft. [A\_Soporific](https://www.reddit.com/user/A_Soporific/) explains:
In this case the business had a contract that included permission to take cars from a lot and licensing that gives them permission to take and hold cars from the state. They were asked to take a car from a lot they were authorized to and did so. There's nothing *criminal* about that. There was no intent to break the law and simply having the car in the lot isn't a crime because they were authorized to do so.
The State doesn't have a dog in the fight, no one intentionally did anything that violates a law.
The owner of the car is being wronged and a *tort* has been committed by the tow lot. What is the difference? A tort comes from simple negligence that causes another harm. Many things are both a tort and a crime, but due to the licensing and contractual authorizations in this case it's not a crime. It's not stealing to move a thing that you are permitted to move from one place to another. It is stealing to move a thing that you are *NOT* authorized to move.
The police aren't triers of fact. They don't know who is right and wrong and bringing an implicit threat of force into arguments isn't a good way to bury them once and for all. Rather than making a guy with a gun decide on the spot we have a system that keeps the police sidelined in these cases and makes people resolve these disputes *civilly*. And by that I mean in court.
They admitted guilt, which makes this case pretty much a slam dunk, but asking the police to pick sides in every case like this is just more trouble than it's worth.
​
[**UPDATE: Car was mistakenly towed from my own parking spot and tow company won't release my car without paying huge storage fees**](https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/3yk50f/update_car_was_mistakenly_towed_from_my_own/) (28 Dec 2015)
I grudgingly paid the $1000 and picked up my car that day.
I filed suit in small claims court against the business and owner before Christmas. This morning I served him at his office. Actually, my neighbor's home-from-college daughter served him. She was surprisingly smooth doing it. I was "standing in line" behind her when she did it. The owner didn't know me as it was a different employee who was at the office when I was last there. I explained why I was suing him and he was either really annoyed or didn't seem to care much. It was hard to tell. Before leaving, I handed him a letter from our Condo Board (of which I am a member) informing that when his contract expires at the end of February, it was not going to be renewed. It was surprisingly easy to convince my fellow board members to not renew his contract as they have heard similar complaints from other owners and guests.
About an hour ago, he called me (from the number on my original request to tow) to tell me that his employee "mistakenly" charged me the storage fees and should have just given me my car. That was a lie because the manager/employee called the owner when I was originally there and asked him, and it was the owner himself who told him to waive the tow fees but still charge the storage fees. I told him as much. He said his employee must have "misunderstood" and apologized, which I believed not at all.
He offered to refund the money if I agreed to renew his contract with the property. I said that this was not going to be a *quid pro quo* and that he should do what he thought was right. I told him that if he refunded the \~$1000 PLUS the filing fee, that I would drop the lawsuit. If he didn't, I would let the court decide. As to his contract, I said that we were meeting officially next week to discuss new tow contracts, and that his company would be free to offer his services again. I did not tell tell him that there was no way that we were going to give him another contract.
Here are my questions for this mini-update:
1. If the owner gives me back the money (including the filing fee), have I actually agreed to give his company back the contract with our property?
2. If he doesn't and I end up going to court, what sort of evidence should I bring with me?
3. Is there any sort of implied extortion by offering to drop the lawsuit if he paid the money (and fee) and telling him that his contract wasn't being renewed and that the board was meeting to find a new company, but that he could resubmit if he liked?
**TL;DR** \- Served small claims suit on tow company. Told them their tow contract would not be renewed with property. They offered to return the money if we renewed their contract.
​
**Reminder: I am not the original poster. Originally posted by** [u/dude-wheres-my-car](https://www.reddit.com/user/dude-wheres-my-car/) **in 2015 in** r/legaladvice | 5,743 | 2022-12-31T19:52:50 | Car was mistakenly towed from my own parking spot and tow company won't release my car without paying huge storage fees | INCONCLUSIVE | Celany | /r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/10025jy/car_was_mistakenly_towed_from_my_own_parking_spot/ | false | false | [
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1004j93 | [removed] | 1 | 2022-12-31T21:47:44 | My (29F) husband (30M) has been going out with his co-worker lately (23F) | CONCLUDED | [deleted] | /r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/1004j93/my_29f_husband_30m_has_been_going_out_with_his/ | false | false | [
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10061th | [removed] | 1 | 2022-12-31T23:04:03 | AITA for reporting my best friend to the HR because she got our coworker fired for harassment? | CONCLUDED | [deleted] | /r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/10061th/aita_for_reporting_my_best_friend_to_the_hr/ | false | false | [
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100938g | **I am not OP, posted by** /u/stolen-ideas **in** r/amitheasshole **on the 14th of September, 2020.**
​
[Original Post](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/is9p55/wibta_if_i_sue_my_sil_for_stealing_my_book_and/) \- 14th of September, 2020
**Unnecessary edit because there are just too many ugly messages**: To those who think this is fake because of incoherency, grammar, and structure; it's why editors and proofreaders exist. They're hired to fix the manuscript before publishing. I didn't proofread this, and that's my fault. I like to write, but I'm not a professional writer. English is my second language. To those who think it's impossible to make lots of profit from a one-time self-published book with an unheard of author: SIL has a decent following. When her followers by the book, it climbs Amazon ranking, and that means it's more visible to other buyers interested in the same genre.
I came here not for legal advice at first because I was struggling morally. I needed help, not to have people attack me in private messages and in the comments.
**To those who only commented that this is fake or how I can't be a writer who fail at basic writing skills: if you do not have anything useful to say, please kindly keep your irrelevancy to yourself.**
\*\*\*
I (24f) write as a hobby, and I like sharing my short stories with my small following. I do want to publish one day, but I want to make it perfect first since it's not edited yet.
The unfinished book we're talking about came from an idea that I started to build when I was in middle school. I just finished it last year, but because of the virus, I was forced to put that project aside to ensure steady employment with my day job.
My brother and SIL came to visit me to introduce their baby daughter about 6 months ago. SIL just thrusted her baby into my arms even though I lack even the barest knowledge on how to hold a baby. The baby was fussy and my brother helped calm her down while SIL said she wanted to use to bathroom to pump breast milk.
They left later and I didn't think anything of it until recently that I was told SIL had published a book, and it had been a while since she published. Self-publish is not as time-consuming as traditional publishing. I don't doubt my SIL's intelligence because she is a smart woman, but I've always heard how she dislikes books cause they're boring and drags on.
I wanted to show my support and brought a copy only to realize it's way too similar to mine. I compared it to my copy of unpublished work; it's obvious it's been edited and proofread for fluidity and clarity.
I was angry and I admit I overreacted by confronting her over the phone. She said my screaming was upsetting her and hung up on me. It was a back and forth battle with phone numbers to get to the truth. By this time, my parents and her parents are involved.
[Update Post ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/j53rip/update_wibta_if_i_sue_my_sil_for_stealing_my_book/)\- 4th of October, 2020
[Old Post](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/is9p55/wibta_if_i_sue_my_sil_for_stealing_my_book_and/)
**New Edit (11/18/20)**: Things did not go as planned. I can't give you an update now, but soon. Really sorry.
**Little update on the apology**: it's not out. She said she needed more time to prepare her emotional state and she's overworked with their child, but she'll let me know when I can have the apology.
(ʘ言ʘ╬)
\*
Thank you everyone for giving me advices on how to proceed with this mess.
After speaking with my pre-law friend, I decided to go the legal route. I reiterated my compromise with SIL and my brother, but he has fully taken her side. My parents warned me that I'd be disowned and I'd be dead to them if I'm willing to stoop so low.
I hired a lawyer and given all the details on my side. My lawyer said she needs my unedited manuscript for the book and my SIL's published book along with the copy SIL sent to have it proofread and edited. Because the published book has different parts changed, my lawyer needs the unedited version which SIL should still have in the transaction she did with her editor and proofreader. We took the risk to ask SIL for the unedited copy she sent to her editor & proofreader despite the chance of having her feign "I don't remember their names, I don't have their contacts anymore, I don't want to, etc." I told SIL that we will go through the route of having to use third-party notarization to ensure no foul play on either part (have 1 individual look at my unedited manuscript and the one she sent to her hired editor + proofreader).
Once I told her that, she must've realized I was not bluffing. SIL and my brother accepted the compromise (I take the pseudonym, the royalties: with evidence of sold copies). I stipulated that SIL must put a message out to her followers on her blog that she stole from me and not a single word in the book is hers. I thank the Redditors for suggesting that.
She is clearly pissed off and disgusted with me for doing this to my own family.
I threatened her with further legal proceedings if she doesn't do it. No lawsuit happened, but I'm glad I got a professional option just in case. As words got back to my parents of what I did and how dare I got a lawyer to punish SIL because her blog followers will surely lose trust in her and future revenue.
I told them and my parents that if they have anything to say, use my business email. I'm done with them. They treated an outsider (SIL one month into dating my brother) better than they ever did to me. I don't need that negativity dragging me down.
I'm happier, more free with my opinions, and I don't have to feel the need to compete with everything SIL does just to get my parents to love me a little more than a daughter in name.
I have my friends; they've always been more of a family unit to me than my biological ones. I knew I was going to lose something coming out of this, but I didn't expect I'd be okay with the disappointment and hurt.
Thank you, everyone. And no, I will not be telling anyone what the name of the book is because I only came here to get a moral judgment and update everyone on what happened. Please don't think I'm using this for clout. The book will not be promoted on Reddit: not then, not now, and not in the future either. | 10,756 | 2023-01-01T01:47:08 | WIBTA if I sue my SIL for stealing my book and making a huge profit from it? | REPOST | anonziee | /r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/100938g/wibta_if_i_sue_my_sil_for_stealing_my_book_and/ | false | false | [
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100a9wo |
[ORIGINAL: I (25 F) begged my partner (28M) for an open relationship. 8 months in, he left](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/zre4m2/i_25_f_begged_my_partner_28m_for_an_open/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)
By u/ThrowRA_Sleeptime
(December 22, 2022)
I (25F) begged for an open relationship. 8 months in, he leaves me.
8 months ago I (25f) asked my partner 28m) for an open relationship as I got bored with him, (nothing wrong but he just didn't excite me much) and he agreed, but he proceeded to tell me there's a catch, "if he catches feelings for a partner he's going to leave me for her" and that's exactly what happened and I want him back in my arms. He left me for his new partner (28-29ishF).
What can I do to win the love of my life back??
[OOP blames her "boredom" with her ex-boyfriend on her ADHD. She also considers "giving him sex" interesting enough.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/zre4m2/comment/j133tx9/)
[UPDATE](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/zukbec/update_i_25f_begged_for_an_open_relationship_8/)
(December 24, 2022)
Probably nobody asked for this, but here's an update I was kicked out of his house last Sunday, that's 6 days now And I excruciatingly miss him, I will do anything to get him to return to me but he looks happy on social media with his new partner that I'm pretty sure he was cheating on me with.
Anyways I tried calling him, no answer, I saw him in public And he pretend to not even know who the fuck I was He won't acknowledge my existence, so I went to our former place just to talk, and things got hostile, his new Gf hates me for some reason, I didn't even know her, and she proceeded to try and attack me, while he tried to split us up And get me out the door.
When he had his back turned she MACED me. And now HE'S trying to file a restraining order on ME! The hell did I do wrong? She attacked me and pepper sprayed me.
How can I convince him he's dating a psychopath?
[OOP continues to refuse to leave her ex-boyfriend until she can win him back.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/zukbec/comment/j1jqdqu/)
[OOP says her ex-boyfriend is trying to take a restraining order on her.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/zukbec/comment/j1jwg05/)
*New update that I missed earlier. Approved by the mods (thank you btw)*
[UPDATE: My ex-boyfriend got a restraining order.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/10037qb/25f_28m_my_ex_followed_through_with_his/)
(December 31, 2022)
This will probably be the last update, The restraining order has been filled, and I am not allowed within 100 ft of my ex Harry and his new Gf Jess.
I'm planning to move back to my home in Arizona and start over, they're happy, and I just want to find peace with my self
Thanks for everyone's advice and opinions, Yes I was already in therapy, and I am still in therapy Please, anyone my age or younger listen to my advice Tik Tok is not cool, please delete it, it's done me nothing but harm, and other people's stupidity can really poison your minds, in living proof
Thank you, take care! | 7,901 | 2023-01-01T02:55:00 | I (25 F) begged my partner (28M) for an open relationship. 8 months in, he left + UPDATE | CONCLUDED | red_earaches | /r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/100a9wo/i_25_f_begged_my_partner_28m_for_an_open/ | false | false | [
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100n222 | **Reminder: I am not OP. Posted by** u/AITASPECIALNEEDSStu **in** r/AmItheAsshole **- January 26th 2021**
\_\_\_
trigger warning >!ableism!<
[Original Post](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/l5cz0b/aita_for_using_my_special_needs_priviledges/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share) \- AITA for using my special needs priviledges?
About a year ago, my university added psychological problems to the special needs students requests. I have been diagnosed with severe anxiety and clinical depression so I decided to apply to the program.
The program is strictly enforced and they requested my diagnosis, the date and the doctor. Then, they contacted my doctor.
Well, I got in. I have around 1.5x time in exams, able to record the lectures, I can get help from the program when I need, some absences allowed etc.
One of my friends learnt about my special needs status and then confronted me. Told me since I was stable and functioning, I shouldn't be using the program and I was probably taking away from someone who needed it more.
It's true that I have been in therapy for a while and have been taking medication, my panic attacks are less frequent and less damaging.
She called me an asshole for taking part in a program clearly "isn't meant for me". Some of my friends told me they agree with her and that they had been thinking this for a while.
I am truly conflicted. On one hand, I truly benefitted from the program but on the other hand, maybe they're right and I am using this selfishly. So reddit, AITA?
[Update Post](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/laviir/update_aita_for_using_my_special_needs_priviledges/) \- UPDATE AITA for using my special needs priviledges?
**February 2nd 2021**
EDIT: Just needed to add as an edit. There were a few people who just never knew psychological problems can be seen as a disability needing accomodations. If you guys need information regarding the procedure of universities or the criteria, I would love to help each one of you. I know how hard it is to deal with this on your own. My wish is for these problems to be seen as normal as other disabilities, without prejudice. The process isn't easy but it is rewarding. The universities usually don't talk about these accomodations so ask! Ask your counselors, anyone in the departments!
Here is the link to the original [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/l5cz0b/aita_for_using_my_special_needs_priviledges/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share).
First of all, thank you guys for the encouragement to use my special needs status and confronting my friend about her reaction. I admit I used some of your words when talking to her to better expain myself.
We talked, and at first it seemed like she was sympathetic to my situation but after a while, she told me that I was exaggerating and she specifically told me "I deal with depression and anxiety, I don't need the program". She expressed that she feels as though this was encouraging me to be lazy and while she understood there wasn't a limit to students in the program, she told me that I was being 'unfair' to those with learning disabilities by getting the same accomodations.
I tried to explain my accomodations, my need to get more time being because of a panic attack I had during a proctored Zoom exam but she kind of flaired up and shouted that it wasn't fair to her that she was not getting the same treatment. She felt like the university was playing favourites.
I decided to remove myself from the situation and told her that I was rethinking our friendship, not to contact me for now.
So there it is... Not a happy update but I at least got to explain myself. I am also contemplating whether I should send this post to her for her to see other people's reactions but I am not sure.
Thank you guys again! You guys really helped with my confidence in this situation. | 8,287 | 2023-01-01T16:24:45 | AITA for using my special needs priviledges? | CONCLUDED | anonziee | /r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/100n222/aita_for_using_my_special_needs_priviledges/ | false | false | [
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100u9q9 | **I am NOT OP. Original post by u/deleted in r/TrueOffMyChest**
trigger warnings: >!abuse, sexual abuse, trauma!<
mood spoilers: >!heartbreaking. God I hope OOP is ok!<
---
[** I think that I genuinely hate my daughter**](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/x1j4h4/i_think_that_i_genuinely_hate_my_daughter/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf) - 30/august/2022
I have written here before but I cant find my post.
I was married to a very abusive man when I was very young. He held me prisoner in my own home and abused me on a daily basis. One day he just up and left with another woman. It was like something answered my prayers. It was the first time in 15 years that I saw the outside of my home. I had three children with him. My sons were old enough to remember the abuse but my daughter was only a couple of years old.
We tried to shield her as much as we could from the truth but she knew that he was abusive (maybe not all the details). He contacted us 20 years later when he was terminally ill and wanted to see his children. My sons refused but my daughter went to see him. Her brothers were very distraught by it but I told them to let her be. He died six months later.
When my daughter was pregnant, she found out that it was a boy and she told me that she was going to name him after her father. I fainted at the thought. I couldn’t believe her. I begged her not to do it but she just said that she was sorry but she didn’t have the same horrible picture of him that we had. And she insinuated that I’ve lied about her dad (he probably poisoned her mind). I didn’t know what to do and my sons said they didn’t want anything to do with her anymore but before that, without my knowledge, my sons met with her and her husband. They told them everything they remembered and everything they knew. All the abuse and imprisonment. Her answer was “I’m sorry but I don’t give a shit. This is NOT my experience with him*
I felt sick. The last time I saw her, when I tried to talk to her one last time. I was scared. I saw him looking back at me through her eyes and I was that 18 years old prisoner. I knew I hated her there and then. She has given birth now, and she texted me a picture of her and her son. I deleted it before even seeing it. She has called and texted multiple times. Now she’s saying I have turned her brothers against her. I did no such thing of course but I the partially the reason why they don’t speak to her.
Why don’t I feel more guilt or horror that I hate my own child. I never thought it’s possible and I’ve not admitted it to anyone because I’m disgusted with myself. Life sucks
[** ::Update:: I think that I genuinely hate my daughter. No I’m terrified of her.**](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/xtw7ti/update_i_think_that_i_genuinely_hate_my_daughter/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf) - 02/October/2022
Hello again. About a few weeks ago I was here venting about something I thought I would be crucified for, instead I was met with so much support and understanding. I never did thank you. This community is amazing.
I wrote that I have decided to go no contact with my daughter. After she chose to call her son after my abuser (If anyone remembers me please can you include my old?). Anyway my daughter felt ostracized by her brothers and she spread talk about me influencing my sons to boycott her. After she gave birth she started texting me pictures of her son with his name. I never answered her. I also changed my phone number and my work number goes directly to an assistant before the calls/emails/texts are forwarded to me.
The only way she could contact me now is if she showed up in my place and she did that with her mother in law, husband and baby last Sunday morning. She gave me her son to hold and then she and the rest sat around the kitchen table. She was looking at me the whole time when she accused me if being a bad mother and grandmother. That I should get over myself because I wasn’t the only woman in the world who experienced a bad marriage. That I was spoiled. A loose woman. Selfish (all his rhetoric all his words, they talked about me). She told me that she knew why I was doing this. I was doing this because I wanted to exclude her from the inheritance but that she will fight will all her power for her and her sons right. I didn’t remember much of what happened next. I was feeling sick and felt like I was coming in and out of conciseness. I didn’t only hate my daughter I was terrified of her. All I could think of was that I didn’t want to be in the closet again. Next thing I remember is my son in law walking after me in the street with a coat in hand (it was very cold but I didn’t notice I was only in my shorts and tshirt) and asking if I needed an ambulance. He told my sons that I kept telling him not to take me back to the closet(ex locked me in the closet for days sometimes weeks when I disobeyed him).
Next thing I remember was my sons in the hospital. None of them lives in my town and I was planning to find a new job and move nearer them before all this happened. Now not only I don’t have anything here to live for. I’m terrified. I don’t know what inheritance my daughter was talking about either. I own so little. My car is old and my house isn’t of any significance. Anyway I’m selling it and I will give her her share. Make sure she can never again come after me about it. My sons are not happy about my decision but I would give her anything if she left me alone and never bothered me again. I am happy to buy my freedom if it was the money she was after all along. My older son said that she was planning to take over the house once I retired. It was something she’s talked about before. Way before she even met her husband. When my sons left home she was thinking since she’s the only one living in town. She could take the house and start her family. When I cut her off she thought I was gonna cut her off my will too. That’s why she still kept trying to force a relationship with me.
Now I can buy her out of my life. The rest I will put on a down payment for a small space in my new city. Work from home until I can be transferred or find a new job. If you made it this far thank you for listening and I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable.
Final edit:
thank you all for the advice. Seems like the majority feel the same way as my sons. I will need to think more and talk to my therapist. I’m not in any hurry to take any actions now. I realize that I’m in no position to think straight. I’m moving in with my eldest for the time being and I’m try to put myself together.
**Reminder - I am not the original poster.** | 12,976 | 2023-01-01T21:40:28 | OOP hates her own daughter | INCONCLUSIVE | None | /r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/100u9q9/oop_hates_her_own_daughter/ | false | false | [
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1014q2q | Originally posted by u/Throwaway-Row4401 in r/aitah on Dec 19, '22, updated about 5 days later.
TW Warning Cat Fact:
DID YOU KNOW...
That a female kitten can reach sexual maturity and become pregnant at just 4 months old?
The youngest I have seen a female become pregnant was at 3½ months old. This can be dangerous for both the mama cat and her babies. Don't wait to spay and neuter! Feel free to hit me up if you need information on finding low-cost spay/neuter clinics.
Content Warning: >!Sexual Assault, PTSD!<
[Original post ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/zq8pcn/aita_for_refusing_to_apologize_for_accidentally/)
AITA for refusing to apologize for accidentally breaking my BIL’s nose and kicking him out of my house?
Some context, I (32F) was r*ped when I was 17 during a home invasion (I was home alone). It has taken me years of intensive therapy to learn to live with what happened to me, and I am now in a great place, and overall happy. I should mention as part of my healing process I’ve taken Muay Thai (Thai kicking-boxing) since I was 18 to help develop a sense of control and self-defense. One of my few triggers due to the nature of how my attack went down is being grabbed from behind. Being grabbed from behind automatically makes me panic and triggers my PTSD. All my close friends and family are aware of this. They don’t all know the reason behind the fear, they just know not to do it, including my BIL.
Now, onto the AITA part. Last week, I hosted a get together with a couple of family and friends at my home. My BIL(29M) has always been something of a prankster/jokester. In the 5 years that he and my sister have been together, we have gotten along fairly well, and his prankster ways has never been an issue as he’s never really directed them towards me. At one point during the evening I went upstairs to change. My BIL thought it would be “hilarious” to scare me as a prank. While heading back downstairs in the hallway, he came out of the guest bedroom and grabbed me from behind.
I lost my shit. In my panic, I elbowed him in the face, which ended up breaking his nose. Even after everyone rushed upstairs, and I saw it was just him, I could not stop spiraling and was in a full meltdown. I ended up calling him every name in the book and kicking him out of my home.
Now that a few days have passed, my sister reached out, stating that she thinks I need to apologize. Her reasoning being that he had no way of knowing that pulling a “harmless prank” would have caused such a reaction, especially since he didn’t know the reason behind my fear. I stand by that, it doesn’t matter that he didn’t know the details of why I was scared. He was aware that it was a debilitating fear caused by something traumatic and should’ve known better. Not to mention that he has yet to apologize to me as I “broke his nose”.
Our family believes that my violent reaction was justified. However, they do think that kicking him out was a step too far. So AITA?
**UPDATE:**
First and foremost, I would like to thank everyone for all the support and wonderful comments. Especially all the comments calling me a bad ass for learning to defend myself and get to the point where I am today. Truly thank you, you all put a genuine smile on my face. Also, all the F around and find out comments made me laugh, which, after all the recent events was definitely needed.
I wanted to first clarify/answer some common questions I saw. For those wondering what I meant by being grabbed from behind it is not a simple tap on the shoulder or a gesture someone would make when simply trying to get your attention, when I say grab from behind think bearhug. Also for those wondering, my attacker was caught and is currently still behind bars.
I ended up sending my family, sister and BIL included, the link to this post. After reading the comments, you all have made the family members that were previously thinking that I took it too far in kicking him out apologize and agree that until I felt comfortable, my BIL is not to be invited anywhere I am. Especially since he I am told is doubling down on that while “maybe it was messed up of him to scare me, it was still just a prank and I still broke his nose and need to apologize”.
So with that being said, I decided that he could kick rocks and I hope his nose heals crooked. My sister and I have not spoken. She sent me a text asking to meet me this weekend to talk.
Throughout this ordeal the thing that has hurt the most has absolutely been the way she has downplayed what her husband did. She more than anyone knows how hard everything was for me, and was there to see the aftermath of my attack. Depending how everything goes this weekend I will take the advice you all have made and make the decision on whether I need to go low/no contact with her. At least, until she fully understands the severity of the situation and apologizes. I will possibly update this post one last time after this weekend to let you all know where we stand. Again, thank you all
**2nd UPDATE:**
Hello all, after a very difficult and tearful conversation with my sister, I have come to the decision to go low/no contact with her. Completely no contact for sometime. She, like the rest of my family after reading all the comments you all have made, finally saw it from my perspective. She did apologize and state that she truly does understand what her husband did was wrong. However, she feels for the sake of her own marriage that she needs to stick behind her husband. And so, in the meantime, if her husband is not welcomed somewhere, she will not be there either.
I will say I am very hurt and disappointed, but that was her decision to make just like I made my decision in keeping my distance as it’s become clear that it will not be possible to maintain a relationship with her without maintaining one with him, which is not something I am willing to do for the foreseeable future.
Almost 3 weeks after the event and after reading hundreds of comments, this man is still doubling down. Even apparently had the nerve to say that the reason why everyone is on my side is because I provided a “sob story” beforehand. He still apparently fully believes that despite it being “messed up” it was still just a “joke” and I “overreacted and I am lucky that he doesn’t decide to sue me for the medical bill that he is going to receive for the broken nose.” Not that it will go anywhere as him grabbing me is considered assault.
I will no longer be updating this post. Again, thank you all for the support, and I hope you all have a wonderful holiday ❤️
*I am flairing this concluded as OOP has talked to her sister, is standing her ground on no apology to BIL, and has decided to go low/no contact. This appears to be the (albeit sad) resolution (I say sad only because her relationship with her sister has been affected; BIL can suck dinosaur balls)* | 12,401 | 2023-01-02T05:46:45 | Woman Accidentally Broke Her BIL's Nose When He Tried To Scare Her (AITA Dec 19, '22) | CONCLUDED | KittenDealinMama | /r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/1014q2q/woman_accidentally_broke_her_bils_nose_when_he/ | false | false | [
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1019dln | Originally posted by u/justatrowaway5446 in r/TrueOffMyChest on Dec 23, '22, updated in the same post a couple days later.
[Original post ](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/ztsomp/bought_stockings_for_everyone_and_mine_is_the/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)
Bought stockings for everyone and mine is the only one that’s empty.
I’ve never had a stocking for Christmas before and this year my boyfriend said we should get one for everyone (us and our 3 roommates) and hang them up. I was really excited about it and had a bunch of ideas for what I could put in everyone’s stocking.
So I’ve been filling them up with various little items (themed socks, candy, mini liquor bottles, etc). Today I was putting a couple of more things in them when I realized that mine is completely empty. All the others (even the dogs!) are filled to the brim and mine is completely flat.
It just made me really sad. Like I said I’ve never had a stocking before so I was looking forward to seeing what had been put in mine but I guess I’ve been the only one participating. All the roommates saw the stockings and also expressed excitement about them but I don’t know I they guess forgot about it? I don’t know how when they’re hanging up and everyone has been commenting on them like every day.
I don’t want to bring it up to my bf because I know he’ll just feel bad about it but it’s making me really sad.
Guess I won’t get a stocking this year after all.
UPDATE: Sorry I forgot to write an update!!! And we just opened gifts yesterday as well.
But basically the majority of you guys were right. Roommates didn’t care so they didn’t add anything to the stockings.
BUT my boyfriend did come through and filled mine up 🥰 AND I didn’t realize it until we were going through the stockings but my best friend (who doesn’t live with us) also added things to my stocking! I had told her how sad I was about it and so she added some things! It was so sweet of her 🥰
Soooo roommates suck but boyfriend and best friend made up for it!
Edit: Forgot to add that my boyfriend said he hadn’t had a chance to put my gifts in the stocking that’s why it was still empty but it did end up getting filled! ❤️
ALSO I didn’t realize how many of you were so invested in my Christmas story! Last I saw this post it had like 300 upvotes. Thank you so much for all the well wishes and for the awards (what exactly do I do with those?? Lol) and I hope everyone had a good holiday weekend!! And happy new year!!! ❤️❤️ You’re all so sweet! | 11,548 | 2023-01-02T10:25:06 | OP Filled Everyone Else's Stocking But Hers Is Still Empty (TOMC Dec 23, '22) | CONCLUDED | KittenDealinMama | /r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/1019dln/op_filled_everyone_elses_stocking_but_hers_is/ | false | false | [
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1019lp6 | Originally posted by u/narabaem in r/TrueOffMyChest on Dec 15, '22, updated in the same post, undated.
[Original post ](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/zmsr59/im_tired_of_my_boyfriend_making_me_feel_guilty/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)
I’m tired of my boyfriend making me feel guilty about my privileges.
I (F26) have been dating my boyfriend (M28) for around 6 months. We met through a hiker’s group, and we really hit it off from there. Turns out we have some mutual friends, and so we as a big group would get together and do weekend hikes and camping trips often.
Hiking and camping is something that I started around a year ago. I was not an outdoors person, but it’s kind of nice to just be out in nature, and I’m glad I have a new hobby. I still think that I’m more of a city girl. I like going out with my girlfriends, and I like trying new restaurants. My boyfriend has been hiking and camping practically since he was a child. It kinda is his one thing that he loves above all else. I then discovered that this is basically all he does. He really doesn’t have any other hobby beside just hiking and camping. He’s got a job working for a big outdoor retailer. The money is shit, but he enjoys it.
I have my own apartment, and I have my own routine. He has roommates that he lives with. He will help me clean around the place when he’s here. I am never over at his place because it’s a mess. It bothers me that he’s over so often, because I want my own space too. When I brought it up that he shouldn’t spend the night EVERY night with me, he was so upset and I basically have to sit down and explained that I just want my own damn space too. He’s also upset at my spending habit. He thinks that I spend too much money on “useless” things like expensive groceries, my yoga and Pilates membership, my nails, my hair, ect. But I don’t see the big deal, it’s my money so I can use it how I want to. Even when we go out to eat, I have never once asked him to pay because I know that I have expensive taste, and he can’t afford it.
I’m graduating this month, and I will be starting a job at a big4 accounting firm. My parents are so proud, and I am proud of myself too. They got me a vacation and they gave me first class tickets as my graduation gift. They didn’t get my boyfriend a ticket. When my boyfriend found out, he kept ranting about what a waste of money it was and how that money could be use to feed people or help less fortunate people. I was upset. It was a gift from my parents, and they can afford it.
I know I’m fortunate, but I still shouldn’t be made to feel guilty about the nice things I have.
**Update**
EDIT: wow, this post really blew up so I have a few updates.
1) I do pay for my own expenses and my own apartment. I do have a full time job on top of school. My parents did pay for my tuitions however.
2) While my parents are well off, but they are never first class tickets people on the regular well off. This was a huge gift from them for my MBA.
3) I told my boyfriend that if he wanted to find a different path, I would help him find a counselor and looking for enrolling at a community college. I even offered to help him because I do care about him and I want a better future for him. He said and I quote “you’re gonna work for the man and you’re now trying to change me into one of them.” So he is now my **ex-boyfriend**. I see now that we are not compatible.
4) Thank you everyone so much for your support. I got a few laughs out of some. Shout out to the guy who warned me about the busy season. It’s going to be hell, but at least they have me a signing bonus. | 7,984 | 2023-01-02T10:39:05 | Woman's Boyfriend Makes Her Feel Guilty For Having Money & Privilege (TOMC Dec 15, '22) | CONCLUDED | KittenDealinMama | /r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/1019lp6/womans_boyfriend_makes_her_feel_guilty_for_having/ | false | false | [
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101j83w | Some general info from the reposter: Buffalo NY is known for its snowy winters, but the blizzard of 2022 has been called the storm of a lifetime. 48 inches/122 cm of snow fell in about 48 hours. With the windchill, the temperature was -30 F/ -34 C. The conditions were so bad that emergency services were suspended. 40 people died.
​
* I am NOT OP. Original post from [\*\*\*u/\*\*\***junedzaman**](https://www.reddit.com/user/junedzaman/) ***~~in~~*** r/Buffalo ***on December 23 2022 and from*** u/Spore211215 on the same day
* Trigger Warnings - None
* Mood Spoiler ->!Positive!<
* I did a little light editing to try and tie these posts together.
**First post:**
[https://www.reddit.com/r/Buffalo/comments/ztxex8/i\_need\_urgent\_help/](https://www.reddit.com/r/Buffalo/comments/ztxex8/i_need_urgent_help/)
My brother got stuck in his car since afternoon. He is near <address removed>, He is running out of gas. We tried our best to reach out to fire department, police and tow companies, but didn’t get any help yet.
Please someone help me.
Any help/suggestion would be really appreciated.
​
A comment from a local about the conditions in the area:
>Voulenteer firefighter here. Our trucks can not move in this snow. We are getting stuck. We can not get to ANYONE at the moment. At least 50% of the towns fire apparatuses are stuck somewhere. I hate to say this but if you can contact him tell him help is probably not coming. He is going to have to get resourceful. Knock on doors do something. There is nothing we can do at the moment. We are snowed in the firehall .
​
Comment from another poster, [**Spore211215**](https://www.reddit.com/user/Spore211215/)
>I live close by, I can bring some gas and warm clothes possibly. If he’s up for it I can walk him back to that fire hall. I live near that area
​
A new post written by [**Spore211215**](https://www.reddit.com/user/Spore211215/)
[https://www.reddit.com/r/Buffalo/comments/zuconj/comment/j1l1y6n/?context=3](https://www.reddit.com/r/Buffalo/comments/zuconj/comment/j1l1y6n/?context=3)
Saw another post on here saying someone was stuck on <street removed> near crabapples. Well I think to myself “Hey, I only live about half a mile from there. I bet I could help this person” and make the decision to go. He’s been stuck there all day and his clothes got wet from the snow trying to leave so I knew he was in need of help.
So I’m getting myself ready. I grab what little gas I have, I grab some food and water in case he needs any, and some new warm clothes and a blanket for him. Then I gear myself up. I put on some thick hiking socks, sweatpants, a backpack to carry my gear, puffy snow pants, a Hanes white tee, 2 sweaters, a jacket, a high vis vest, thick leather winter gloves, insulated winter muck boots, a headband, and a motorcycle helmet to try and combat the snow and wind.
So it’s time to head out. It’s about 11pm, wind gusts are still ripping outside and snow drifts can bring the visibility down to zero. The motorcycle helmet is a mixed bag of being a help and having snow stuck in my face, but overall a good choice. Now let me tell you that going to get this man was difficult. I’m a taller man myself so the snow banks weren’t as much of a struggle for me, but unfortunately when the snow drifts go up to my mid thigh and every step has my foot drop all the way down into the snow with no resistance… it leads to just walking becoming a big task in itself.
So I’m making my way down the street, and it is difficult. I get that I’m wearing a motorcycle helmet and it’s hard to breath in that, but even when the visor was lifted it was still hard to breathe, not only from the snow constantly blowing in my face but also the fact that it was hard to walk! I’m in decent shape but walking through those drifts is no easy task.
Eventually I make it down my street and a few streets over. Switching between easier and near impossible spots of walking along the way. I get to a automotive business and their building blocked a lot of the snow which let me walk like normal for once in a long while. I keep tracking but now I’m near a main road without buildings as densely packed so the snow drifts are blinding at points and I need to focus on buildings and objects to know where I’m going. Eventually I make it to the mans car after a good 40 minutes of walking when I only traveled 0.6 miles
So I get to the car and give him some clothes because that’s mostly what he was interested in. Didn’t care for any gas or food or water but I made sure to offer it to him to be sure. He changes and gets ready to make the trek himself with my help. After a few minutes he is ready and we’re on our way
He says he talked with someone and he has a house he can go to to be warm and safe for the night that is about 0.3 miles away. Alright sounds good let’s head there.
We make our way there. The man is not well dressed for the weather, but you gotta work with what you’ve got. He has regular sneakers on, his pants and my snow pants I gave him, the hat I gave him, the sweater I gave him and his shirt underneath. He throws a blanket on his head as a kind of protection against the wind and snow.
It’s bad out. My tracks from just a few minutes ago are all but gone, but I know the way I’m going so it’s alright. We walk up the road to the cross street and quickly cross the street. It’s hard to see or hear anything so we can’t really tell if a plow is coming so we act fast to try and stay safe. Then we make it to the side street. Well needless to say that street hasn’t been plowed in ages. Snow drifts near my chest and no paths available, so time to trail-blaze and make our own!
We need to make it maybe like 9 or 10 houses into the street but with snow like this we are barely progressing at all. I’m dressed for the conditions so I’m only getting tired. The man I’m helping isn’t doing great. Snow is accumulating on his face and he occasionally falls into the snow banks and needs to recover. When we get near houses that block the wind we take a break and relax because we need the energy to make it to this house and can’t give up. We’ll eventually through more struggles we eventually make it to the house. About 0.3 miles in 30 or so minutes.
The person living in the house graciously lets us both in. I recover by warming up a little bit, the snow that accumulated on my just starts dripping and melting which I know is a bad sign for me so I make my stop short so I’m not drenched in water on my trek back. The man I helped is very thankful and gets comfortable and warm for the first time in hours. But I can’t stay long so I tell him I’m glad he is safe, thank the homeowner / renter / whoever the man that let me in was.
Now on my way back home. It’s a few minutes after midnight. Made it about a mile in about an hour. Not great but it is what it is. It’s another 0.6 or so miles home. My phone is getting caked with ice at this point but surprisingly keeps working throughout the whole trip without any issues.
Time to make my way back. I can actually see my trail this time so I utilize my previous steps to try and make my walk back a little bit easier. I’m starting to struggle but know I can’t stop. Eventually I make it back to <street removed> and see a front loader messing around with some snow for I’m assuming emergency vehicle traffic. His windows are all iced and fogged up and I can’t tell if he even sees me. I’ve got my mission so I stay the hell out of his way and keep on going. I give a wave and a thumbs up and keep making my way back home. Cross <street removed> quick because now I KNOW the plows are around so I gotta be out of their way.
Back into my neighborhood. Now my trail is gone but I know where I’m going (or at least I think I do) and I keep making my way. I take a pit stop and call the girlfriend at home and let her know I’m ok and all that jazz so she can relax. Phone call ends and I keep making my way. Snow is blocking up my visor and I have been constantly raising and lowering it this whole trip. Fog and ice is really blocking my vision so i essentially need to keep the visor up to see and only lower it now to catch my breath or block the heavy snow gusts. My progress is really slowing now and my right leg is starting to hurt. Feels like I’m pulling something near my hip… oh well, that’s unfortunately not something I can dwell on while in the streets in a snow storm.
I keep making my way at a severely reduced pace and take a turn onto my street. Unfortunately I was a bit exhausted and confused and made the turn one street too early and realize that about halfway down the street. Weighing my options I decide I can’t really keep going forward here without risking wasting even more time trying to get home. So I back track to where I made the wrong turn and continue on the correct path. Eventually I make it one street further and make my correct turn. I am getting EXHAUSTED and my leg is really starting to bother me. No matter, gotta keep on going.
I hook a left and am on the final stretch home. Foot trail is gone again so I’m on my own for making a path. Snow drifts are getting bad and extremely difficult to get through. I start counting my paces and can only make between 10-25 (usually only 10) before I need to stop and catch my breath. Gotta keep going. That trails on for a while, eventually I start walking right up against peoples houses if the snow drift made a path to walk where there was less snow. I’m close to home but very very tired. Thankfully for the most part the snow is at least at my back on this path. I keep struggling but can’t give up, I am making nearly no progress but I gotta get home. Eventually I can see my house light but still have little energy to make it there. 10 steps. 10 steps. 10 steps. I’m close, I see the last section of snow to near my house. 5 steps. My leg is really hurting. 5 more steps. Boom, home. I am exhausted and ready to drop.
I make it in the door, girlfriend helps take off all my clothes and backpack and whatnot. I’m caked in snow but stayed warm throughout. I try to take my helmet off but the snow caked onto the back of my head so much that my hair had ice in it that made them stuck together and she needed to melt the ice with her hand to get it off. I have her check me for frostbite and surprisingly there’s none to be found (which I might debate. At the time of writing this my ears and still a bit numb and funny feeling, but nothing of much concern here. Almost like the feeling of Novocain at the dentist but to a much lesser extent) and then I relax. She has hot cocoa ready for me as I walked in and I just get to relax now. I earned this hot chocolate.
Mission success, helped a man get home safe and got home myself.
TLDR: saved a man stuck in the snow, it’s a monumental effort to walk in this snow. If you’re not saving your life or someone else’s… stay home. If you don’t know what you’re doing, don’t have the right gear, and aren’t in good enough physical shape YOU. WILL. DIE.
​
A comment from the homeowner who took [junedzaman](https://www.reddit.com/user/junedzaman/)'s brother in:
>Thank you Man. You saved the guys life. May Allah bless you. I'm the home owner who you guys came in. For a second i thought you were a first responder with your \[Motorcycle\] helmet on. Lol. It's a happy ending story. The man stayed in my house 2 nights. And he headed out ho.e this morning. He helped me clean so.e snow off my driveway before he left. He arrived his home safe. His car is still stuck on the road. Thank you once again
And the response from **Spore211215**
>You helped save him too! Thank you for letting him into to stay with you, you're a hero for letting him in. No problem at all
Update 2 from [junedzaman](https://www.reddit.com/user/junedzaman/)
[https://www.reddit.com/r/Buffalo/comments/zuovk0/shoutout\_to\_uspore211215\_for\_saved\_my\_brother/](https://www.reddit.com/r/Buffalo/comments/zuovk0/shoutout_to_uspore211215_for_saved_my_brother/)
Last night i made a post to ask for help for my brother who stranded on the snow. After posting i got lots of suggestions and advice. Then from nowhere this man came and offered this help.
Shoutout to this kind human ANGEL \[Spore211215\], for helping my brother out of the snow in Buffalo last night!!!
This man deserves all the love and prayers and gratitude for risking his own life to help save the life of a stranger. My family will forever be indebted to him, and I just want to help spread his story in hopes of spreading some good news during this holiday season. Please help me in making this local story known, thank you and happy holidays! | 11,652 | 2023-01-02T18:09:27 | Someone turns to reddit when their brother is in danger of dying in the Buffalo Blizzard of 2022 | CONCLUDED | frieden7 | /r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/101j83w/someone_turns_to_reddit_when_their_brother_is_in/ | false | false | [
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101s3pw |
**I am not the OOP. This is a repost sub.**
Mood spoiler: >!pretty bleak, but the trash took itself out!<
*originally posted in r/relationship_advice on Dec 25*
**[My (29F) husband (30M) has been going out with his co-worker (23F) lately](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/zvbcgu/my_29f_husband_30m_has_been_going_out_with_his/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)**
We’ve been together for 8 years and married for over a year now. He’s been working in this company after he graduated from college. I’ve never heard him talked about any of his co-workers cause he’s not really that kind of guy who tried so hard to make a connection with other people. He’s very introvert and likes to be in his bubble. Sadly, he’s just the type of guy that easy to approach and talked with. He doesn’t know that but I’ve been with him for 8 years. He’s very calm, funny and quirky.
These past few months my husband has been mentioning this ‘poor girl’ I remembered a lot of bullshit happened to her this year that’s why my husband is trying to uplift her. My husband does not usually do that. He doesn’t usually give a fuck about anyone. He asked me if I’m cool if he’ll bring this girl to a bar and I asked if I could come along he said that he doesn’t really want to stir up awkwardness between me and her especially he’s trying to comfort her after she had this recent break up. He showed me her picture. She’s really obviously young and very pretty. I’ve read their conversations and it hurts sometimes that my husband always initiate the conversation.
They have been going out every Saturday. I told him I’m starting to feel uncomfortable with this friendship. He said that there’s nothing to worry about that he’s just helping her out. It’s like a female-female friendship. I don’t know what he’s trying to point out but everything between them two scares the shit out of me. My husband still let me read their conversation from time to time and the fuck, it hurts me that he respond to her faster more than me. I hate how he kept apologizing whenever this girl left her on read it’s like I’m fucking reading how my husband begged this girl to give him some of her attention and time and I can’t take it anymore.
I don’t know how I would approached him cause it always ended up that I’m feeling this for nothing that there’s nothing to worry about. I told him that I want to meet her and he said, for what reason? I just don’t know what to do anymore. I don’t even think she knew that my husband is married.
**[Update 1](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/zvbcgu/my_29f_husband_30m_has_been_going_out_with_his/j1owuhn/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3)**
*Update added as a comment the same day*
Update: After this post I approached my husband that I want him to stop seeing this girl every Saturday unless he would bring me along. He told me that I’m not making any sense that he could just bring me and why I’m making this a big deal. I asked him if this girl knew he’s married and based on his reaction I knew that she doesn’t know his married. He said that why would he brush the fact his married on her face. I called him names and he got so upset. I took his phone and go through every single app, he has been messaging her from time to time. I’ve found out he gave her a very expensive gift that worth almost $1k I was hella pissed about it. (We had joint and personal account). A lot of things happened after this post that my brain couldn’t process everything.
I’ve threatened him that I will tell this girl I’m his wife and she’s being a home wrecker. He said he will never forgive me if he ruined this one and only friendship he had. I told him that he doesn’t make any sense that he’s being disrespectful to our relationship. He said that he doesn’t feel the love ever since we got married. He never been this happy, excited and contented with anyone. I ended up messaging the girl she said that she doesn’t know that he’s married and very apologetic about it.
He was so mad and left the house. I don’t know what to do. I’ve been calling his phone but he’s not picking up. I message the girl if she’s with him. She said that he’s not there. That she just got into a break up and a lot of things happened to her she doesn’t want to be involved anymore. She was so sorry if she could have known he’s married she won’t even bother going out with him. I’ve found out she just started working there three months ago. I have so many questions in my mind.
**[Update 2](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/zvbcgu/my_29f_husband_30m_has_been_going_out_with_his/j1q2oij/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3)**
*Update as a comment*
Another update:
I haven’t told any of my family and friends about this. I felt embarrassed, very ugly and pathetic right now. The last thing I want to see on their face is the pity face. I don’t want anyone to feel sorry for me.
My husband went back around 3am and we talked about it. He said he could no longer sees me in his future ever since we got married. The reason why he has been working a lot was he does not want me to be around. I asked him why did he wait cause we’ve been married for a year. He thought his feelings will come eventually that it’s just a phase and there’s no way his love for me will be gone overnight but every day feels just worse for him. He doesn’t want me anymore that he think it’s totally over and we could even be friends. He said that throughout our marriage life he moved on. I felt the ultimate betrayal. I told him that we could go for couple counselling and work it out. He cried that he doesn’t want to be stuck anymore. It’s not about his co worker anymore it’s about what he felt in our relationship. He cried and ask for divorce while I’m crying and begging him not to. I’m so confuse and I don’t know what to do. I felt like I was a good partner.
I asked him about his co worker if they ever have sex. He said that he genuinely cares and likes her, he’s getting to know her more bullshit but he thinks she doesn’t see him that way. Nothing happened between them. I asked him about the money he spent on her he said that he bought her a Christmas gift.
I am so much in pain that I felt numb that I couldn’t believe this is happening to me. And I think this would be my last update. I guess I’ll be welcoming 2023 as fucking divorced woman.
**OPs note: marking as concluded as OOP says this will likely be their last update** | 8,715 | 2023-01-03T00:00:20 | My (29F) husband (30M) has been going out with his co-worker lately (23F) | CONCLUDED | ABBR-5007 | /r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/101s3pw/my_29f_husband_30m_has_been_going_out_with_his/ | false | false | [
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