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I am a 20 something year-old barista at a coffee kiosk in a huge corporate building. We serve around 500 people a day, at least, and most of them are regulars that we serve on a daily basis. I started working here fairly recently, and for the most part, I enjoy my job. My manager is great, and so are the people I work with, along with most of the customers. One of our customers, Let's call him Steve, a middle-aged man, comes for coffee and a chat about twice a day. We share a similar interest in photography, and he was looking for someone to help him do some long exposure shots of city lights. He seemed like a nice guy, and I always try to see the best in people, so very stupidly, I gave him my phone number, and told him I would be interested in helping him out. I did this for several reasons: a.) One of the previous employees, who also happened to be an art major like myself got a job as a graphic designer for the company because someone noticed her artwork at our store. b.) I have a dslr camera myself, but It doesn't get much use, and I was eager to take it out and get some pointers from someone who was more experienced. c.) I was getting vibes from my coworkers that Steve was a good guy, and that I would be able to trust him. Today after work, however, my shift supervisor pulled me aside and told me that I should be careful, as Steve comes by a lot, and is apparently 'flirts with all the girls'. She told me that he's harmless, but just to be careful. Well, this would be all fine and dandy, If I didn't give him my phone number and I didn't already tell him to call me when he wanted to go shoot photos. And it seems like he's really eager to go shooting sometime soon. I'm not trying to accuse this guy of anything, and I don't want to blow this out of proportion. So what I'm asking you is this, Reddit: How do I politely decline his offer to go shooting with him, without embarrassing either of us? I would rather nip this in the bud quickly, and would prefer to have a better excuse than "I'm busy this weekend" as i would keep having to make that excuse each consecutive weekend after that.

How do I excuse myself from an invite to go on a photo shoot with a "chatty" older customer without embarrassing myself, the customer, or anyone that I work with?

Sure, I've called 911 before. I was hanging out with a friend, doing some LAN stuff on a beautiful summer day. Two other friends of mine decided they were going to come force myself and friend one to go hang out outside with them (THE HORROR!). They show up at my house, and myself and friend one lock all the doors and it turns into a siege situation. After a while, I jokingly dial 911 (NOTE: This was a wireless phone, so you can dial the number, THEN hit call for it to actually go through. I just dialed the number and didn't actually hit call). I then held the phone up to a window to show the invaders I was super serious about not going outside. So, as it turns out, there was a speaker phone button that jutted out a little farther than the rest of the buttons on the phone. When I placed the phone against the window, it hit the speaker phone button, which dialed the number. I quickly yanked the battery out of the phone hoped the call didn't go through,and put the phone away. They left (side note: my mother had just come home as they were leaving, so she saw these two sketchy looking dudes hopping in a car and leaving), eventually, and I thought no more of it for a little bit. A few minutes later, I hear my mom yelling at me to get my ass upstairs, because two cops are at our front door wondering what the fuck the emergency was. It was pretty embarrassing.

The first time my mom met two of my friends, was them sketchily leaving my house, and two cops showing up less than 10 minutes after they left.

Brakes failed on an offramp. Ramp was uphill, but I had a dinky little car so it didn't slow down. Had a pickup truck in front of me and an extremely busy and fast intersection in front of me. Swerved into some gravel. We both (pickup truck driver and me) sat there for a good three minutes completely ashen. We gave each other a nod and went about our way.

Had to make a split decision between hitting a guy in front of me and pushing him to his death (and possibly decapitating myself) or swerving into gravel. [Turns out hobbes was right](

It's late, and I figure I might as well share this story from a few months ago... I had off from school (not sure which break it was) and this day was the day that I had to go to Motor Vehicles to get my Driver's Permit validated with my driving instructor. My dad was at work for the day and my mom was in Florida with my sisters. My instructor picked me up around 11 or so to go to the DMV (about 30 minutes away or so). I hadn't eaten dinner the night before, and I took the opportunity to sleep in because there was no school. As a result, I missed breakfast. I pretty much woke up, showered, got dressed, and got picked up. We finally arrived, and I sat in the waiting area while my instructor waited in line to get my permit validated for me. After he had finished, I simply had to go to another room to take a vision test and then I'd be ready to go. The line was somewhat long, with about 10 or so people waiting in front of us. At this point, my stomach started to hurt a bit and I began to develop a little pain in my side, but I figured it was simply a little cramp that would go away. Fast forward 10 minutes later, and I felt like my head was spinning. I tried taking deep breaths and swallowing, but the pain in my side was amplified and I really did not feel too hot. I didn't want to say anything to my instructor as we were only about 4 spots behind the front of the line. Suddenly, I felt my vision start to cut out. I tried blinking, but it wasn't doing the trick. The next thing I remember was waking up after my head had slammed on the ground from the fall, and everyone that was on the line began to surround me. The whole situation was so atypical for me... I had never passed out before like that. It was so uncomfortable having everyone look at me like that, so I quickly got up, feeling groggy and weak. The police officers that were there offered to call an ambulance, but I didn't think it was necessary so they just gave me some food and water. Kindly, the people in front of us allowed me to go and take my vision test right away so that I could get home. And I passed! I went to the hospital that night with my dad just because he was worried, and I ended up sustaining a minor concussion from the incident. In the moment, the whole thing was horrifying. Looking back on it though, it always gives me a good laugh and a good story to tell.

Went to the DMV to get Driver's permit. Fainted while in line for my vision test. Got up and passed the vision test. Ended up having a minor concussion after going to the hospital that night.

Telling a friends story because he's a lurker. I have to warn you, this story has somewhat of a boring ramp up but I promise you It delivers at the end. So a friend of mine and his girlfriend pull over into the side of a backroad in regional Australia to hotbox his sirion. For those who don't know, a sirion is a very small 4 door hatch. So they are about 20cones in of a 10gram session of the dankest pot going. At this point the cars looking pretty damn misty. Candy mountain misty. And they were looking absolutely blazed. And all sense of common sense has gone out the window. Unlike the smoke. Hotbox car sex ensued. Now, it's important to mention at this point in the story that my friend, who we will call Joe for the purpose of the story for obvious reasons, is just shy of being 2meters tall. They continue to smoke on/get their sex on until the car is more smoke than anything. 15minutes pass... The police turn up. Now ladies and gentleman, this is where the story gets interesting They frantically tried to hide the pot, the grinder, the mix bowl, the snacks, the vaporiser and get their act together. The bong gets neglected because they're far to high to think clearly. As the police pull up behind them and panic and try to figure out a plan. They planned to go with the whole 'stopped to shag' plan. The officer gets to the window and taps on it and Joe lets the window down. "Licence and reg... ...have you been smoking?" The officer asks. "No, we just stopped to, uh, have sex" The officer is now high from the smoke. He peered into the car to see the bong sitting their between the girlfriends legs. Joe and Jane (the girlfriend) look at the bong, at each other, back to the bong and back to each other "fuuuuck" "Please step out of the car". Fast forward to the police station. He's baked . Right royally baked. A 10. Staring into nothingness he can hear that he's being asked questions but isn't really able to respond. "Sir! YOUR AGE!" "Right, yeah, xx" "Your height?" Pretty fucking high" "No, your height!?" "What? Ooohhh haha, my bad, 1XXcm"

a friend got fucking high. Busted, misheard questions when questioned by police and said "pretty fucking high" to a room full of police. (I'm a bad story teller and on my phone. If you ask nicely he might tell it better than I can)

Hey so I've known this girl about a month now, shes really nice we like alot of the same things we get along well together, the first few weeks we talked alot hung out once just the two of us and twice with her friends at the bar we met at, one of the times her friend approached me and asked if I liked this girl and I said I did and I find her interesting, to which she replied that I should make a move and we didnt have this conversation We got outside and I didnt really make a move but after a long hung we both sort of just went for a kiss and ended up making out, anyway since then a few things happened in her life, she was ill and her close friend ended up losing somebody etc, Ive been very understanding offering my support just as you should, one other time we hung out we sort of had a small heart to heart I told her about my ex and everything ive been dealing with and shes sorry ive been having to deal with that. I saw her out last night and we just generally chatted a little bit but she left because her and her friends were tired, I wanted to say to her face but because she left I couldnt so instead of just text her saying I thank her for being there to listen to me talk about my ex because its been hard and she said its fine shes everybodys vent at the moment, I went onto say thats not exactly what I meant I said that she actually cares and shes fantastic and its hard to find in people these days. She went onto say that this is why she avoids ruining things, when I questioned her about that she simply said, she has commitment issues, so many of her friendships have been ruined from getting close, so she panics. Im just not sure where to go from her, shes the first person ive actually felt attracted to since my ex girlfriend, I think she does like me shes just afraid to make that next step incase it messes up another good friendship, any advice would be great!

Boy meets girl, get along together, makeout, heart to heart, girl too afraid of commitment values friendship of friends alot, not sure if next step on the cards?

Disclaimer: Both my ex and I are Christians, but that is secondary to this matter. I do happen to believe in God/prayer, etc. and if you don't, that's fine. I'm not looking to discuss theology in this post. :) We dated for exactly 2.75 years until she gave me the ol' "I love you but not like that anymore" talk (probably GIGS). I told her I'm sorry to hear that, but I'm here for her if she ever feels unsafe. (Her parents were/are going through a nasty divorce and her father has an anger/alcohol problem. She lives at home.) That was in October of last year. I have not contacted her since, although we did remain friends on Facebook, Instagram, and Snapchat with all of the photos of us still up on our respective profiles. I know better than to read too far into this. It is what it is. Mid-January, she texted me asking for her workout clothes from my place. We're talking a pair of shorts and a couple of tank tops, nothing fancy. I agreed to give them to her in public (she had asked to come over to my place). We chatted for a few minutes during which she insisted on hugging me, commented on how good I look, that I seem happy, etc. When it came time to leave, I shied away from another hug and told her to have a great week. Sunday night at 12:00AM exactly, she called and left a message (I was asleep). She said that God had laid something on her heart and that she " really needs to talk to" me. I had no idea what to do with this call, so I gave it some time to settle before I decided to reply or not. On Tuesday night, she called again and left another message. This time she mentioned how I told her that she can come to me with anything, and that she hopes my statement still stands. I texted her to make sure she wasn't in danger or anything. She confirmed that she wasn't, but that she feels that God spoke to her and she wants to talk to me about it in person. I told her I'm busy this week but am free Saturday afternoon. She asked if I want to meet for lunch or coffee, and stated that she's buying. The question: Has anyone had a similar experience where an ex wants to meet up? Are they usually looking to reconcile or just get you to forgive them so they can feel better? I want to keep my guard up and prevent myself from getting hurt, but she seems very sincere and persistent so I'm probably going to go.

Ex-girlfriend calls me twice. Wants to meet for lunch or coffee and insists on paying for it. As far as I know, neither of us has dated in the several months we've been apart. Any insight or advice is appreciated!

For the first 3yrs of our relationship we have never had our own place. Always couch crashing with friends or family. Usually ending on a bad note, I know lost a lot of good friends. The boyfriend has come up on some money reasontly and we are in the prosses of finally getting on our feet. The place we are staying at now is not as bad as others. Except the boyfriend has a serious computer gaming addiction. Neglecting my need not at all compassionate. And when ever I bring it up I'm considerd batching and he threatens to leave me. When I'm not need him or if he ignores me I get this empty cramping loss of breath feeling. And all he tell me to do is just stop or calm down. Not so easy or I would have done that already. I do not want to loose this guy. Everyone has always Givin up on me as well as him. I'm trying to go to therapy and get something to help this but I have no insurance or money to do so. I have no water to go if I had the guts to leave. I'm so lost and scared hoping someone can give some advice or at least point me in a good direction.

I suffer from depression and anxiety. I trip on the one man I can not live with out. He getting fed up and wants to leave. I have absolutely noware to go if this happens. Need advice on how to deal or what to do.

Mate, the idea of the perfect couple is a myth. Everyone has issues, and marriages fail because people falsely expect there to be no issues. I've been married six years, and in that time we've had plenty of our own issues. Hell, we've even had marriage counselling for very similar issues to yours, so I'm speaking from experience. I assume that when you say you're not "in love", you're saying that the romance is gone from your relationship. That's normal. In any relationship, eventually the passion dies down but that doesn't mean you're not in love. It's like a fire: The romance is like the flames, that burns up hot and bright and encompasses everything. But eventually the flames die down and the fire turns into coals, which aren't as bright or exciting, but still holds the residual heat and lasts a lot longer. And you can always get some flames to flare back up by putting the right fuel on them. There's also a thing called "love languages". These are five different ways in which people express affection. These are quality time, words of affirmation, gifts, physical touch, and acts of service. Look into it yourself for more info, but it sounds like you and your wife could be speaking different love languages, so you don't recognise each others affection. Finally, it's never fair to marry someone expecting them to fix everything that's wrong with your life. No one can live up to that. I think there's every chance that your wife senses how you feel, and feels like she's inadequate, which makes it hard for her to feel close to you. To paraphrase JFK, ask not what your spouse can do for you, but what can you do for your spouse. Concentrate on making sure all of her needs are met - physical AND emotional. (If you don't know what they are, ask !). Forget about yourself and do this, and I guarantee that she'll notice and respond positively. Also, if you're concentrating on her, it'll take your mind off of your own issues. Again, I say all this from experience. Sorry for the wall of text; there's no way to really

this :P. Don't give up; you can fix your relationship if you're willing to do the hard work. It'll be worth the effort. Good luck!

I'm 26 and hold a B.S. in Genetics from a great University of California school. Sadly, I haven't been able to find a job making use of my degree and going to grad school isn't a possibility for me. My hobby from when I was a child up until I was about 20 years old was computer programming so I am thinking of going back and getting a second B.S. in Computer Science. I'll be about 30 by the time I am done with the degree program and will be taking on student loans, so I have some reservations about taking the leap. Specific questions are would my age work against me becoming an entry level employee at 30? Would the second bachelors look bad on a resume? Anyone in the field have any opinions on how the job market for a programmer or software developer looks?

Is going back for a second bachelors in Computer Science a good idea for someone in their mid 20s? EDIT: Thank you everyone for your thoughts and comments so far.

I recently moved to city that has a variety of day care options for my kids. My wife and I are atheists, though we allow others to believe what they want to believe. We even go to Jesus's gym, the YMCA, though we joined at first without realizing the Christian connection. (It has been a completely non-religious experience btw) We are now faced with a moral dilemma and have few non-religious friends to turn to for advice. So, this is where you come in Reddit. Right now I am the primary bread-winner for my household but we would like to change that, either through having my wife find full or part time employment or for her to go back to school and finish her degree. This isn't really for monetary reasons, as we make plenty to live fairly comfortably on with just my income, but to give my wife something more to do with her mind and talents. (Raising kids is certainly fulfilling, but it just isn't everything she needs.) We are trying to find a place to take our kids (girls, aged 3 and 1.5) that we can afford. The problem is, in our budget, the only really affordable places are the Christ centered "Mother's Day Out" programs. They tend to be vastly less expensive than their non-religious counterparts. From what we can gather though, our kids getting lessons about Jesus at these programs is pretty much unavoidable. So, WWRD? Do you go the economical route and let your kids learn a bit about Jesus from people that don't consider it one of many options or do you hold to your principles and just wait until you can afford the more expensive day care?

If you were an Atheist, would you put your kids in a Christian day care if it was significantly cheaper than a non-religious day care?

So i live in some pretty sketch apartments, and lately there is a group of kids harassing my boyfriend. today, a like 5 year old kicked him and said fuck you to him. there arent many apartments but i dont know who these kids parents are since they are never supervised. id like to kick this kid in the face, but i know i cant do that. id say something to the apartment manager but shes such a ghetto bitch she wouldnt do anything. shes the type that would be like ahahahaha a little kid said fuck how cute. also, is this some sort of child abuse/neglect scenario? a group of young kids being unsupervised around an area where drug deals happen all of the time, gang activity. this one specific kid is tiny, so probably like 5 or 6. he has said things like "herpes" when me and my bf kissed (just a peck) bye at the door when he walked me home. he also cusses apparently, and is a nosy little shit. in the past he has tried stealing from me as well. the group of kids probably ranges from 3 or 4 to maybe 6 years old i would just move but that isnt an option. also, i would just ignore it but if he is kicking people thats totally wrong. i feel if i dont do something he is gonna grow up to be some loud mouthed, rude, violent kid.

kid that lives near me is aggressive and kicks people and cusses and acts out. what can i do about it, i dont know his parents.

I have two: 1 When I was younger we lived with my uncle and his family for a few weeks because money was tight(my mom was a single mother of four) and we were looking for a new house. We came home from the store one day and my uncle was sitting in his rocking chair with a beer bottle in his hand and a pain oil bottle in the other ... I will never forget the look of craziness in his eyes. My mom sent me (probably 7 or 8) my younger brother (5 or 6) and my cousin who is my age to the laundry room that was added after the house was built so it has two heavy doors with deadbolt on them. Then I heard a lot of noise I could hear him yelling (in a very slurred voice) that he was gonna kill my aunt and the sound of people throwing things then I heard police and my mom yelling he doesn't have a weapon put your guns down. After the cops took him away my mom got us out and the house was all messed up the door was off its hinges it was crazy ... There was a hole in the wall next to the door where he had thrown a car jack at my aunt's head and every window in his truck was busted out... I still to this day don't like to take pills. When I was ten years old my mom decided to get my tonsils removed because I was (still am) a loud snorer. We go in have the surgery. I'm all loopy but that's normal. I start throwing up old blood but that to is normal because during the surgery some of the blood goes down your throat into your stomach. But then I was throwing up fresh blood almost a full 24 hours after the surgery. My mom says come on we are going back to the hospital. On the way out to the car I pass out from lack of blood. We get to the hospital rush me to the OR (the whole way my mom who never cries is crying so I start crying and she disses at me cause it can make the bleeding worse) . I have an emergency surgery because the doctor knocked an artery and didn't properly close it. I stay in the hospital for a week my first night home I wake up with blood in the back of my throat and my mom immediately rushes me to the ER where they already have things set up for me cause she called them. I had my third surgery and stayed for two weeks and was fine. Both emergency surgeries they told my parents to come tell me bye. We later found out that the doctor who had done the original surgery had botched several surgeries nearly or actually killing several people and is still a licensed surgeon today (11years after my surgery)

1. Uncle takes pills and alcohol and goes crazy, trying to kill aunt, while I'm locked in laundry room. Doctor Knicks an artery during tonsillectomy resulting in two near death experiences and two emergency surgeries.

So, ive been with this lady for 3 years. We are not married. Everythings been great, we had a baby, some normal ups and downs...blah blah. Then come two nights ago, we had a big fight. That latina threatened me with some spicy words that even i couldnt handle. She wants to cianara-the-fuck out of town WITH our baby. We live together in a border town. She is originally from (where i met her too) a city in mexico about 1200 miles from where we live now. I am the sole provider of our household and at that we are a poor household; i am currently a happy but jobless man. I cant help but imagine how the hell i am going to have a life with my baby when she returns with the baby to her home town and where the baby lives 1200 miles away from me. Even in pesos, flying back and forth is so expensive and plus taking time off of work (if i had a job). I want to be able to have a life with my baby, but so that its fair. She doesnt have a job. Shes already told me that "you can see the baby whenever you want [as i sit my happy ass here with the baby 1200 miles away from you, sucker!]". Legally, does she have a right to take the baby with her wherever she wants without me and to not have to put effort in to helping the baby to see me? Heres some side notes: -i am on the birth certificate as the legal father -the baby is a mexican citizen -i am an american citizen living in mexico -the babies birth city is the hometown from where his mother is from -i have not been able to take out the babies american passport (because i dont have a job, ergo money) -we are not married, but we live together Specific questions i have: 1. Can she take the baby from me and make it so i have to go to her in order to see the baby? 2. How would child support be decided in the case that she is allowed to take the baby with her? 3. Do i have any legal rights in mexico as an american living in mexico? 4. Would i need to hire an american lawyer or a mexican lawyer? I appreciate any help that you may have for me. I tried as best as i could to be clear and concise. Adios amigos.

i am an american living in mexico. My girlfriend wants to take herself and our baby 1200 miles away to her abd the babies mexican birth town.

I imagine if anything happens, our brain emits a very strong wave before death. All of these waves sort of mesh together, creating a world all its own. They continue to build and build, each mixing in the great mass of thoughts. My reasoning behind this isn't very strong, but neither is my belief this occurs. Somewhere in space, there is an indecipherable wave signal that can be heard from Earth. We can't pinpoint it, we can't understand it, we can't find out what it really is. Maybe this is it? Maybe we are creating life after death, our perfect paradise filled with all of our imperfection. Or maybe we just die, and its just like before we were born. We just won't be.

Possible wave pattern from space may be brain wave heaven. Edit: This may explain why people who nearly die see their belief's afterlife: it is what their mind thinks of.

Hey there! So my SO adopted a kitten not too long ago. He is a rescue kitten who was found abandoned by my SO's sister. When he was taken to the vet he was estimated to be about 3-4 weeks old and healthy. Since then we have been taking care of him and plan on keeping him. He is coming up on about 8 weeks old and we are taking him to the vet on Saturday. We have been doing a lot of research and we are trying to figure out how to be good cat parents. One of our biggest concerns is the fact that he was separated from his mom and siblings at such a young age. We don't know what to do and if this will lead to bad behavior later on in life. We have been playing with him with toys only while trying to reinforce that hands are for petting and feet are not for attacking. We have read that sometimes cats who are adopted very young can act out or have bad behavior because they do not get to socialize. What are our options? Should we be considering adopting a second cat for them to have each other? Also any other advice on how to be good kitten parents is welcome!

We adopted an abandoned kitten at a very young age and are looking for advice on how to be better kitten parents and if he needs playmates to help socialize.

Well let's stroll through some then shall we first off it a 9mm that landed in my shoulder, this was from a ricochet at a shooting gallery from two punks firing an uzi with FMJ bullets at a concrete barrier, which to my bad luck one banked off and landed in the gap between the chest and shoulder joint. I plucked this one out with a hunting knife since the bullet hardly deformed, and for the two kids? Let's just say they're not allowed at the range again (the rules state no FMJs allowed). Second, an antique 20 gauge blew out to the left of the receiver while trap shooting leaving half a wad injected into the heel of my palm. I spent the next three hours plucking them out with forceps, and visited a doctor a week later to check lead poisoning. This was the least painful one: a 223 that went straight through my arm and then passed through my gut barely missing a kidney. I'm just glad it wasn't a 7.62 or it would of hit it and I wouldn't be here to tell the tale. This accident was caused by a negligent shooter as well. Fourth and this is minor a 7.62 whizzed by my face and scraped my cheek leaving the right side of my face with a small line of a scar, but it was outright terrifying to know how close of a call that was. Again a stupid shooter is the culprit and yes, people around here treat guns like they're airsofts. Another 9mm, this however is the nearest dodge of death: it ricocheted off my the top of my forehead, and it was all because of the angle of attack that I'm alive. Culprit an improperly loaded Glock that was dropped by the man in the shooting lane next to me. I now have a dent in the left side of my forehead to accompany the dent on the right from being hit by a steel baton of a highway patrol officer whom was high as a fucking kite. The last one I'm going to list here isn't necessarily a bullet wound but the damn it still hurt. I am a lucky man to have actually tried on a dragonskin tactical vest and some of my idiot friends knowing this vest is next to invincible decided to take my proudly owned M1014 (Super 90) and blast it right behind my back giving me impact shock of a military grade 12 gauge at point blank range. No pellets penetrated (it's dragonskin for Pete's sake) but without any padding to absorb the impact sent me face first into the dirt. [

Overall however what's it like to take a bullet? In my opinion (and naming the cases you can see I've take a number) it's not the impact of the bullet that hurts so much but the smoldering hot lead burning underneath the skin.

Backstory, though there isn't much that's needed. My boyfriend and I met online 4 years ago. I knew he was married and we were just good friends. He confided in me through the years (all online) that his marriage was going downhill, they got married too young, he didn't love her anymore etc. We became really close friends. Towards the start of 2014, their relationship took a drastic turn for the worse when she cheated on him, and they split up, though they were still living together for a variety of reasons. The most relevant reason is that she is from a different country so she didn't want to be on her own in a country where she barely knew anyone. She also became abusive and manipulative, threatening suicide whenever he brought up divorce. She threw things in arguments and once locked him out of the house barefoot in the rain. I met my boyfriend in person for the first time in June 2014 and sparks flew and yeah, we had sex and fell in love and became an official couple. Meanwhile, he's living on the other side of the country with his "ex"-wife. In December 2014 we broke up briefly. This was because I was unhappy with his living situation and we kept arguing about it. It turned out they hadn't moved out because he felt they had "unfinished business". We broke up for two weeks or so while he tried to make things work with her (they didn't have sex) but it was futile. This is no longer an issue for us, I understand why he felt he had to do it. He moved out a couple of months later, to a city nearer mine. She kept the house. Divorce is filed. The issue: she kept the house. She's living in the tiny village that my boyfriend's parents and siblings and nieces and nephews and cousins all live. They were together in total for 6 years, married 3, so I guess it makes sense that she made friends with all his family. What I can't cope with or get my head around is that now, months later, she still meets up with his sister regularly for drinks. She keeps posting photos on Facebook (show up in my feed because I'm friends with others tagged in them) of her with my boyfriend's nephew's dog. At his parents' house for dinner. They all know she was abusive, that's what I can't deal with. Why do they want to stay in such close contact with her despite what she did to my boyfriend. It's making me question their character, and part of me doesn't want to see them as long as they keep seeing her. What can I do here?

Boyfriend's abusive ex still sees his family regularly, although not when I or he are there. Can I do anything? Or failing that, how can I be more comfortable with it?

Recently divorced after 15yrs of marriage. I have custody of the kids. Hopefully I can add insight here, as I too need personal space. Did it effect my marriage. Yes it did. I tried to sacrifice sleep to get my alone time (staying up till 2am). I tried to do without alone time, but would become so hostile to everyone that I couldn't stand myself. The good news, as I got older, my needs became more flexible. My ex could have done alot more to help US through this, she had a mid-life crisis instead. My 12 yr old daughter can always interrupt me during my alone time, and I smile and give her the time she needs. My son is like me. We can be in the same room together for all day and not say 5 things to each other.

If you constantly work at being flexible with your personal time, and your SO understands how this helps you to provide her (and kids at some time) with BETTER personal attention, it is workable.

Let's start this off right, straight to the heart of our problem: our government leaders. "That's not our problem." you say? Indulge me. Sometime after we stopped hanging around in trees a new social status emerged, that of the Exclusive Leader. The Exclusive Leader is one who has acquired special societal privileges and believes himself to be superior to his peers. In the rare case that he does not believe himself to be superior, he chances upon an opportunity to become something with rewards that dwarf even the greatest of privileges afforded by the Exclusive Leader, an Inclusive Leader. But I digress, for Inclusive Leaders, those with the perseverance of Mandela, the charisma of Kennedy, or the insight of Einstein are among the few who are with us against their exclusive counterparts, and certainly not the heart our problem. "Get to the point." you say? Nearly there. Consider again the Exclusive Leader. Consider the moment in which he chooses to believe himself to be separate from and superior to the rest of his species. His ego eclipses the Sun and his id presents a blurred reality. No longer perceiving right or wrong, the world around him collapses into an environment best suited to be adapted to his needs, nearly void of personal consequence, and yet laden with regularly compounding consequence for his constituents. As he tirelessly pushes our limits we become numb. Numb as we realize nearly every member of government can be described as an Exclusive Leader. Numb as we turn back to the television and click the next page. Numb as we forget the heart of our problem. Do not be distracted by those who arbitrarily draw dividing lines on the basis of money. We are 100%, and we are divided only by the abuse of power given to Exclusive Leaders. Why, then, do we tolerate them? Edit:

It takes very few maligned leaders to create large problems. It will take the rest of us co-operating to fix them, but we are constantly distracted from that simple fact.

He made the fucking fire nation entirely indian what and the fuck?! I would never write a movie about kramaga and make all the characters japanese just simply because I'm japanese because that means your an enthnocentric bigot who gets off on destroying the nature of things by smearing your big fat indian cock all over its pretty little east asian matrial arts, just so you can get off on the fact that no ones gonna stop you from raping a pillaging their favorite (non indian) story. Also fuck tom cruise as the last samurai.

don't worry we changed the entire culture you'll go see it, fuck you! The presidents, A DUCK?! How fucking stupid but you'll still watch it! FUCK YOU!

Typical fat kid in high school despite everyone telling me that I did not need to lose weight, that I was "fine" looking, and just was a naturally big guy. I took this all to heart, believing it, absurdly thinking that a 4XL, and a size 42 waist was a healthy norm for a guy like me. On the outside, I thought I had some pride, but on the inside, my insecurities would tear me apart. I missed out on so many things because of them like memorable school pictures, joining clubs thinking people would only see me for my weight. I was so self conscious, felt helpless, you guys know that whole routine. After high school, I left a whopping 275 pounds, at 5"10. Being able to wear bigger clothes to hide your fat feels amazing and gave me confidence, however the moment I stepped into the shower or on a beach, I slouched down, attempting to cover every part of my body, being so ashamed of my habits. A lot of it wasn't just my personal issues, it was my family. I had a father just become a crack addict, and my house burnt down, so we had to live in a crack motel for a few years. My breaking point came when I finally had enough of his addiction. Long story short, I moved in with my brother in Las Vegas and was determined to change myself. It was my second job I've ever had so I wanted to make a good first impression, I wanted to find a new girlfriend, and I knew I couldn't do that by being the fat, insecure slob that I was. With my hard working job, a table busser at a busy restaurant, I was losing weight with a good nutrition plan, following ScoobysWorkshop. I found myself a girlfriend, who loved me despite my flaws, and she motivated me to look as sexy as possible. Long story short, since my move to Vegas, it was the best move I could have made. I learned to be independent, be confident, and be a man and take care of my family.

Fat obese slob in high school, used life hardships and a new girlfriend as motivation to be healthier and a better person. [Before and After pics, I'm skinner and a little leaner](

Throwaway for obvious reasons. After accepting a job abroad, my boyfriend and I decided to do long distance. My contract with the company is 2 years, and I have been working and living over 8000 miles away from him for about 6 months now. I had always been against LDRs unless they are short term, but figured I would give it a shot. He has been nothing but supportive and loving, and recently we discussed and decided that we should try to do an open relationship. It was actually my idea, because I know that we both need to blow off some sexual steam. He also brought up that he thinks maybe we can casually date others as well. The issue is that I am in theory 100% okay with this because we are young and we should be having fun, but I also get so worried that if we do this, we are just setting ourselves up for a failed relationship because we are so far away. He has many more opportunities for casual sex and casual dating than I do, because he is in the States and I am working in a very small town in Central Asia with no nightlife and a different culture, so that takes a toll on my self esteem. I already have feelings of jealousy now that we have made this an open relationship; jealous that he will have opportunities and I will not, and that it will be a one-sided open relationship and that's no fun. And do we tell each other about our new partners? Not sure what I feel more comfortable with. I also worry that he will fall for someone else even though he says that he is 'mature and can separate sex from intimacy". We have not yet established 'rules' because I am still apprehensive about this even though I rather have an open relationship for this amount of time rather than being sexually frustrated and lonely in the physical sense. If you have experience with this, what did you do to make it work? What types of rules did you establish?

In a long distance relationship turned open-relationship. We both want this, but he has more opportunities for casual fun than I do. Fear of a one-sided open relationship, fear that he will fall for someone else; don't want my self esteem to go to shit.

I'd prefer if people asked me if they could pet her. My dog is very nervous around strangers and wouldn't hurt anyone but she might bark and jump up quickly, which scares people. So I always say no. A man tried to corner my dog when she was tied next to the grocery store the other day. She was sitting quietly waiting for me as usual and this dirty hobo had his hand out, reaching for her as she backed away as far as her leash would allow. He was closing in very slowly and calmly and she looked terrified. People around told him not to touch her. Thank God I came out of the store right then. I ran to block her from him and told him politely he shouldn't touch random dogs especially without the owner and she was scared, I apologized and told him he should leave. He LOST it, screaming at me and my dog started barking and jumping like wild, to defend me . I took her and just got the hell out of there, but FUMING mad. Who does that!!! If I didn't get there in time... I have no idea. She has never been cornered like that before and I don't know if she would defend herself. (She's a german shepherd and we live in a bad neighbourhood so she unfortunately emulates my fear of strangers. It is something I'm working on with her but I am also grateful for it because she deters break-ins. To me and everyone she knows, she is a total pussycat.) If she hurt him, he'd have grounds to issue her to be put down. Dogs have no protection laws for self defense. I have never been so angry in my life I wanted to kill that filthy scum asshole.

don't touch people's dogs without permission. And don't let people think since your dog is friendly to everyone that all dogs must be. I'm begging you.

Scenario: 4 best friends from college - John, Bill, Jack and I. All 25 years old, only Jack and I live in the same city, and have been roommates for 2 years. Bill lives in my hometown, and John lives in far away. Jack and I have obviously come closer since we moved to the same city and live together. My parents think the world of Jack - very well respected, good job, comes from a good family. We all four even had our graduation party from college together with all our families. I recently had intensive surgery, and need changing gauze and getting around so my mom came into town to take care of me for a few days. She took care of me and when would work from she would help us by doing laundry, cleaning, and getting stuff we need - just being a mom. Tonight, John called Jack and I to play Xbox before bed. Like we usually do, put Jack's phone on speaker and catching up for a few minutes. Jack goes to the bathroom, and while he is in there, got a text from John regarding the conversation we were having in our group message between the four of us since Bill wasn't on the phone, so i looked at it. But I noticed it was another chat between Jack, John, and Bill (All three but me) and there was a picture of my Dad in it. Apparently Bill saw him at dinner and mentioned to the group how much weight he has lost. And to this, my best friend and roommate replied "to bad his wife hasnt lost any". I'll admit that she needs to loose some weight, but I was very upset. She was literally in the room next to us, resting after cleaning for us all day. Should I say something? I know this text wasn't intended for me but I thought it was very out of line especially since she was here and really would do anything for him too. I just thought it was out of line and very poor to make a joke at my moms expense in a group chat that I wasn't even a part of. Makes me think very much less of him as a friend. Is this an appropriate reactions?

My best friend talks shit about my mom in a group message of our best friends that I was excluded from, saw them, and don't know the appropriate reaction

My boyfriend(20M) has been with me (18F) for 2 years and is in community college with me. So far he has taken 11 classes and only passed 6 in three semesters. He is really smart and got good grades in high school. I know he is capable and it's not that the material is hard but he has no motivation to do well. I literally had to sign him up for classes myself this semester and make his schedule. I put him in 3 online classes hoping he would do better but he is still refusing to take the time to do them. He acts like it's too easy for him (even though he can't go one semester with out dropping or failing a class). He won't study, do his work, and pretends he can just walk in to a test and do well. All he wants to do is play league of legends it's the only things he is motivated in doing well in. He is really interested in his major and what he wants to do but it's not enough for him to do well in school and get a degree. I'm having so much anxiety on top of worrying about my own classes I have to go on his account to check what he is supposed to be doing in his classes and even make weekly schedules for him. I don't understand how to get him to care about college. He waits till the last minute to do everything. All of this makes me want to break up with him. It makes me see him in a different light. I feel like im dating a loser that is never going to finish school and work at bestbuy for the rest of his life. How can I see this guy as a future father to my children if he has no motive to finish college so he can get a good job? Now he is getting mad at me for telling him to do his classes. He says I'm controlling and says stop acting like my mom and claims he can handle it when it's obvious he can't. I wish his mom knew how bad he has been doing in school. Before classes started he promised me he would try hard and do well and so far he is proving other wise and the semester just started... what do I do? How can I make him motivated?

my boyfriend isn't motivated to do well in school. He says I'm controlling bc I get stressed out when he doesn't do anything about school. Makes me not want to be with someone who is unmotivated and unsuccessful.

If anyone wants to do an exposé piece for 60 Minutes, this will suffice: I'm a high school teacher in Southern California. The student population at the high school is about 70% Chinese. Many of the students have "tiger moms" and are driven to excel. The demand and expectation for students to perform well is so high, that a burgeoning tutor business has cropped up; you know, like Kumon. The tutoring sites have built databases of all the teachers at the high school. They ask students to steal the text books for the classes, and if possible, the teacher's edition of the text. (Otherwise the tutoring business buys used editions off the internet.) The students are also asked to keep copies of all work, including homework and quizzes, as well as steal test questionnaires. Over time, the tutoring business has a file of all the tests and quizzes the teachers use. If a new teacher gets hired, or if new books are bought, it is only a matter of time before they build a new database. The tutoring sites also find the digital resources of the text book, meaning they get all the answer keys for the homework assignments and the exams. They use these materials to "tutor" the kid on how to pass the class; that is, they provide a preview of all the possible materials I use to assess student knowledge. Keep in mind that I've been teaching from a science text book that is over eight years old— It's not like we get fresh resources every year. The time it takes to create a quality quiz (much less an exam) is difficult, too, and eats into more productive time and preparation. Whenever I create my own exam (without using publisher provided materials or question bank), I inevitably get heat from students and tiger moms about how the material wasn't covered in the book. Of course it is covered in the book, as well as my lectures, but because the cadence of my questions is different, it's enough to give them something to gripe about, and administrators will typically resolve the issue by having the kid take another exam, but one that uses publisher provided questions and language.

The tutoring businesses around town compile databases on the teachers of a high school and copies of their tests. They tutor the kids by letting them use answer keys to complete their homework and to preview all possible questions/answers to a test.

I currently work at a public institution where external messages get moderated through a scrutinizing communications team. Several months ago, I received a notice from my supervisor that someone had been trying to post on our company's Facebook with horrible things written about me and my dad. The page in question was a fake account under my dad's name, and basically painted my dad and me as con-artists who had scammed people out of thousands of dollars to fund our various needs. At first, I had no idea of who would write such horrible, untrue things about me. My dad, on the other hand, suspected someone we had been once been close with. This person, who I will name "Michael," apparently had been harassing other members of my family for the past several years. When my aunts and uncles found out that Michael had targeted me and my dad, their only advice was to "Be the bigger person and let it go." Initially, I felt that this was the correct response to the situation as well. However, the more I think about it, the angrier I get. I was notified of this account through work, and not only is this situation embarrassing, but this fake account is accusing my dad and I of a very serious crime. I contacted the police department and showed them the Facebook pages, but while I did receive a case number, I was notified that there wasn’t anything I could do unless I felt physically threatened in any way. At that time, I gave the situation some thought and felt that while it was embarrassing, there really wasn’t much I could glean from the situation, so I let it go. Fast forward to now, and today my boyfriend’s friend texted him saying that he had received a friend request from this fake account. Although I had reported the page to Facebook, it was still up and running, and now even has new, updated pictures of me (even though my account is set to private). To make it worse, this person is now going after my friends somehow and friend requesting them. Reddit, I’m relatively new to this community, but I am really unsure how to proceed. I am planning on going back to the police station to keep them updated with what’s been happening, but I need advice on how to handle this situation. Is this a criminal offense? Can I take this person to court on counts of libel? Is there a way to put this person behind bars?

Fake Facebook account has been posting horrible, untrue things about my dad and me accusing us of a serious crime. Police have been unhelpful so far. Help?

The company I used to work at hired me as a technician (even though I was an engineering graduate) would not sign off my experience as engineering which is necessary for the professional exam. They placed me on a public job which is supposed to receive prevailing wage (x3 hourly pay) but decided to then classify me as an engineer to avoid paying me the increased wage and pocket the larger than usual difference due to some loophole. I put about 1000 hours into that job for a total of ~$30,000 of stolen wages from me. I quit that job without moving on to another job because I couldn't work for a company that undervalued their employees. Still unemployed, but happier than ever.

When it cost them nothing to help me out, they didn't. When a money-making oppurtunity arose in exchange for their assistance, they decided to "help me out" but not before they got their cut. Greedy bastards.

My girlfriend and I have been dating for about 4 months now. We're just a lil relationship, so we're starting to hit that time of figuring each other out through mini-rough patches. Soon after we began dating, it became very clear that she has these awful periods lasting 1-2 full weeks. It's tough, because sometimes its just her natural period and sometimes it's her being irresponsible with her BC. However, I get that this stuff is, for the most part, out of her control What bothers me is that, during these chunks of time, all kinds of sexuality and intimacy seem to be off the table. Because of this, when we do have that time when we can, I tend to go in with an expectation of sex, and if she turns me down, I get disappointed and it can ruin the mood. I don't intend on putting so much weight on it, but I can't help but feel, "If not now, when?" This has lead her to feel as if I only care about sex and me to feel like she doesn't care at all about physical intimacy. We talked about it this morning, and we agreed to try to make it a constant slow burn rather than all hot and all cold; her being open to still being intimate when she can't have sex and me not putting it on such a high priority. However, I would appreciate any advice I could get about communicating about sex and how to cope with disappointment when expectations aren't met

Girlfriend has lower libido and I frequently am disappointed which can kill the mood. Do you have any tips on how to use my word hole better when approaching sex? How do you cope with sexual disappointment?

I pulled a knife on my older brother once during a fight. He grabbed a baseball and we had a stand off like 10 feet from each other. Obviously, he was scared of the knife, but I didn't want to close the gap out of fear of getting pelted in the face with a fastball. The situation diffused itself. Also, a long time ago, my brother deleted a game of Pokemon that I was around 10 hours into, as a joke of some sort. I was still young, so I was really pissed and plotted immediate revenge. I snuck into his room when he was out of the house that evening, and found a floppy disk that his homework was saved on (told you this was awhile ago.) I cut a hole in the disk part, and spun it a bit so the hole was hidden inside the case of the disk. Needless to say, the disk was useless, and he panicked at 1AM the day before his homework was due. Two hours of essay, down the drain. At the time I though he got off easy, a 10 to 2 hour trade. Looking back though, obviously his homework was more important than my game. Maybe.

I pulled a knife on my older brother during a fight, and destroyed his homework floppy disk as revenge for him deleting my Pokemon game.

I had gone to an Opeth concert and was about 4 people back right front center. The show was a small venue but oh boy was it crowded. There was this jackass of a hispanic guy in front of me that looked obviously out of place. He was double fisting plastic cup beers from the place (Fitzgerald's in Houston) and he kept spilling beer on the couple in front of him who were a good bit smaller than he. Well the small guy finally spoke up and said "Hey man you keep spilling beer on us." So the hispanic guy bowed up to him. He fucking got in his face and started yelling at him. Well... He had a bit of long hair so I grabbed him by the hair and YANKED like there was no tomorrow. He doubled over backwards and I let go. He stood up and I got in his face and said "Back the fuck off." All he did was give me the widest most surprised eyes I have ever witnessed and turn and walk off and disappear from the crowd. Needless to say the show was awesome being third from rail watching Lacuna Coil and Opeth give amazing performances. Well I left and found out my car got towed because I was 12 feet from a fire hydrant instead of 15 so I had to call a taxi and get him to drive me to the tow yard which was in lil' Mexico in H-town. 2 AM and there is a house party going on down the street from the tow yard and there are guys walking their pits down the street in wife beaters... at FUCKING 2 AM. I ended up having to pay 200$ to get my vehicle out that night, after waiting 30 minutes for the guy that ran the lot to show up. I was paranoid because I had a joint in the car. Luckily no one had been in it and the ride back was awesome. So yea... I spent like 300$ to see Opeth that night and I don't regret it at all. Edit: Oh yea, I got to help load Opeth's gear on their trailer and I also met all of Lacuna Coil except the female vocalist Cristina Scabbia. Great guys.

I went to see Opeth, put some hispanic guy in his place at the concert. Car got towed to lil' Mexico in H-town and had to worry about the joint in my car. Got out of impound and no worries, great ride home. No regrets.

I'm a junior in college who just figured out what I wanted to do with my life this year. I started out as a Finance Major, but then picked up Russian as a Second Major, realized I loved it, and now I hope to eventually work for the FBI as a Language Specialist Special Agent. I found an opportunity for a paid summer internship where I could shadow a Special Agent for 10 weeks, but as I was filling out the application, I saw that it was an automatic disqualifier for anyone who has smoked pot in the past three years, and they give out polygraph tests. Last spring, I tried pot for the first time because I was curious what being high felt like, and I did it a second and third time because the first two times I couldn't get high. This satisfied my curiosity and I haven't done it since. I decided to not apply because I figured it was better to not apply than to get caught in a lie and close any future doors. To make things worse, my friend, who has a very similar resume (except I would have had an advantage with my study-abroad experience in Russia), applied and got the internship, which left me happy for him but extremely upset at myself for blowing a huge opportunity. I now plan to work for the State Department, but I will always keep my eyes on the prize when the damn Statute of Limitations runs out. For the record, I didn't realize I wanted to work for the FBI until after I had already tried out pot. Anybody here familiar with the Bureau?

Want to work for the FBI/intern there this summer, but trying out pot prevented me from an amazing opportunity, currently kicking myself in the shin everyday.

Hi Reddit, So around 10/2014 I apply to a job at Company X. My "friend" works there and is able to pull applications for interviews. I didn't get an offer for an interview until last month. Just want to get that out of the way to show you that there is absolutely no favoritism going on. In fact, I feel knowing this "friend" personally has caused me more harm than good. Anyways, after the interview there is a preliminary quiz to take. Need to get a certain grade to continue on to training. Before taking this quiz she tried to talk me out of the job. Telling me it wasn't in my best interest. Passed the quiz went on to training. During this entire process I was told 3 different things about the location/hours I'd be working. No straight responses whatsoever. All the while this "friend" is pulling different applicants to work at locations minutes from my home because it would be "too hard" for me. So basically I was just going with the flow. After three days of training I ask "How long does training usually last?" The response? "For you, a while." NO STRAIGHT RESPONSES EVER. Most employees are thrown to the sharks after 3-5 days of training. I can't help but think it is because my "friend" doesn't have an actual location or position for me and is just stringing me along. I have two people training me interchangeably, this "friend" included. Both impatient and loads of attitude if I don't pick something up or already know it. I find it to be a hostile environment. It's like I purposely go to work just to be belittled. Recently, they gave me papers to sign: "The nature of the violation is unsatisfactory performance this month." They say if I don't improve during the next session the trainer may submit paperwork for my dismissal. Mind you, I haven't worked close to a month yet. In fact, I haven't truly worked at all- it's still "training" This "friend" literally threw every obstacle in way and I feel like this was the plan all along. I want to contact the main supervisor.. I just don't know what to do. I thought that on a personal level we were friendly. But after all this, and learning from another friend that the same happened to her... I realize this is happening on purpose.

My friend is at a higher position than me at a new job and is definitely being 2-faced and screwing me over. I want to email the main supervisor..

My boyfriend is on pretty good terms with his ex, they keep in touch every now and then but usually over facebook. I guess it woudln't be to far off to say that they are friends, even though they don't hang out. Anyway, he told me that he just found out she was going to move to another country in a couple months right before he went over to his friends house to hang out. He got drunk and by the end of the night (around midnight) he decided it was a good idea to get in touch with his ex to hang out before she moved. He said himself that he would never have called her at that time if he hadn't been drunk. He realise that that was a mistake, but beacuse his intentions was so innocent he didn't think about how it might come off, he only wanted to hang out. I would have been fine with them hanging out, but he was drunk and it was in the middle of the night... Anyway, they met up and went over to his place where they hung out for about 2 hours. He told me that she wanted to hook up but that he said no. He called me after she left and told me about it. He told me like you would tell a normal everyday story, obviously not understanding how it looks from my point of view. I didn't say anything because I honestly believe that nothing happened between them. This morning he called me and said that he now understand how it must have come off from my point of view and explaind that he in his drunken state only thought about that he wanted to hang out with her before she left and it didn't even cross his mind to wait until the morning. He told me he understand that it was innepropriate and it won't happen again.

Boyfriend meets up with ex during night time, while drunk. I do believe nothing happened between them, at least not on a physical level. I want to know if you guys think this is straight out NOT OK or if I should drop it and move on?

Thank you. And, I totally understand this feeling. After my FIL died, I felt heavily pressured to find some kind of way to memorialize him at our wedding, and it's not something I personally felt was needed. I think a lot of people consider you not doing it as rude or disrespectful, despite the relationship you may have had with an individual before their death. My FH made the ultimate decision (since it was his dad), and decided he did not want a memorial table because he didn't want to spend his wedding day upset about his dad, or having people he hasn't met before coming up to him and giving condolences on such a happy day. Now, with a second death in the family, we've decided to stay our course, especially with it being just a few weeks beforehand. It doesn't mean we love those family members any less or that we've forgotten them. For us, we thought - "If I died before someone's wedding, I don't want them to turn the day into memorializing me. Because it's about them and their happiness. However they choose to remember us is special in its own way."

I guess we're sort of private people when it comes to family issues and grief, and there's nothing wrong with that. There's nothing wrong with not having a memorial table - you still love your family and friends who aren't with you. Y'all do you!

Hi all, I'm 22 years old, and all I've ever eaten in my life, as far as I can remember, is pizza and chicken nuggets. I'm a healthy weight, although this obviously isn't a healthy diet, so I want to change. I have no idea how it started, but whenever somebody wants to get me to try a new food, I freak out. I have a mini panic attack, which at best kills my appetite, and at worst actually causes me to vomit. I've tried looking for others who have something similar to me, but they appear to be few and far between (although not non-existent). I haven't found a single success story yet, which is why I'm here I guess. This is ruining my life in ways that I would never even have thought of. Any formal occasion involving food? Weddings, balls, birthday parties, dinner parties, you name it. Even informal things like dates or grabbing apps with friends at a bar, and I can't go without either basically fasting or trying to order something from the kids menu and feeling and looking terrible in front of everyone. I've recently been making a lot of headway with what I'd consider the "disorder" part of my afflication, ie the panic attacks. I've been doing meditative exercises that keep me calm without making me look crazy sitting around at a dinner table. It may not sound like a big deal, since it's such an ordinary part of everyday life for most people, but it's huge for me. Unfortunately now I have a new set of problems that I never originally thought of... I find myself now, living by myself, with no idea how to cook, and more importantly I have no idea what food I like. I don't feel comfortable going into a restaurant and ordering an entire entree of something I've never tasted (or often heard of), just in case I can't stand the taste of it and have to be "that guy" who sends back a plate of perfectly good food to order something else. So I inevitably end up "playing it safe" and ordering pizza or chicken fingers, and the cycle continues... I've recently moved to the other side of the country, so I have a very small group of friends and have no relatives nearby. My friends here mostly think I'm just a "picky eater" but they don't really know the true extent of it. Unfortunately after all of these years of living like this, I've become too good at dodging social outings involving formal meals, or arriving just after everyone eats at them and having some BS excuse or alibi. How do I break this cycle?

I'm 22, live by myself, have only ever eaten pizza & chicken nuggets. Can't cook, don't know what food I'll like, don't know where or how to start trying new foods. Looking for advice.

So I've not really seen this suggested yet so I'll do it join a band ... yes ok I know that's not actually for every one so I'll widen that to say that if you like music get involved in the local music scene. Find bands you like that are from near by and go to there shows. The same people will be around, they will have something in common with you and part of the fun of a music scene is meeting people so if you start introducing your self and simply being honest about the fact that you like the music but have no one to go to shows with you'll hopefully find a bunch of people who will be happy to talk to you. About a year and half to two years ago I was looking for a band. I found some people on join my band who where interested in starting one so we did. They turns out to be mostly good people but the singer we had in line never turned up but we kept on going for a while and then started auditioning for a new singer. We found one, she nice and from a near by town and I met a few of her friends who'd come to our gigs and they seemed nice too. Then a guy I'd been in a band with before that needed some one to move in with him... and he happened to live in the same town the singer was from. He even managed to score me a job at the place he worked (from where I'm currently avoiding work by posting this hehe) so in the course of a week I found my self in a new city with a new job and only knowing two people. The singers friends quickly embraced me and have become the new core group of friends for me. I even lived with a couple of them for a month while I was between apartments. Then there is a wider group of friends based around the music scene in the city, promoters, other bands and the people who come to local gigs. Gotten to know some of them rather well, the whole lot of them threw me a surprise party for my birthday a few months back, something the group of freinds I had back in my home town never would have done.

Playing music and going to gigs is a awesome way to meet people and it only takes meeting one good new friend to throw you in to a whole new social group.

Back in High School I was riding my bike to a local shopping center to kill some time when I noticed a ton of industrial film trailers in the parking lot. I didn't have anything to do, and I was curious, so I investigated. Turned out they were reshooting the end of Kicking and Screaming. It took me a while to notice that Will Ferrell was there, but when I did I ran across the street to the local Barnes and Nobles to find something he could sign, but the only thing I could find that seemed worthy was this really awesome SNL coffee table book that I, as a high school kid, was unable to afford. So I go back empty handed to catch the end of the shoot only to find out that they're wrapping up. I turn back to the parking lot to leave and see this big van, and there in the passenger seat right in front of me, is Will Ferrell. I was so caught off guard, and it was pretty obvious. He looked me dead in the eyes, gave me a finger-gun hand gesture and said "Hey kid, keep it real" and they sped off... I couldn't have asked for a better moment.

Was totally caught off guard by Will Ferrell in a parking lot. He told me to "keep it real" and then sped off. It was awesome.

First found all my friends who cared and made sure to hang out with them. Next I took time to myself to figure out where things went wrong. I realized I was blinded by the relationship to even see how unhappy I was. There were certain annoyances I just pushed aside because I was too focused on trying to make it work. I started thinking of where I needed to improve on myself since relationships are two way streets and no one is perfect. I then bought myself a 55 inch TV because I had money again. Then I started talking to girls again and going on dates. Then I realized how much I missed being complimented and how it feels for someone to actually give a fuck about me. Found a girl who treated me amazing and we flirted and more dates. Finally got in relationship with new girl. Things have been going great since then. Every day I realize how unhappy I was in my past relationship. I realize how I should have been treated. Now I am not saying I was perfect in my last relationship...but my ex wasn't giving me what I needed out of the relationship. New girlfriend buys me things, takes me on dates, cooks for me, helps do the dishes, has a career, compliments me every day all the time, gives me kisses, loves to brag about me, kind, caring, not picky with food, plays games with me, plays guitar with me. Yeah shes kick ass.

Friends, alone time, spoil yourself, get comfortable alone, start again, realize that other girls can give you what you need and there is a reason why things didn't work out so move on.

My GF and I have been together for 7 years. I love her and our sex life is decent. The issues being that she almost never initiates and we are currently averaging once per week. I'd like to be at 2-3 times per week with her initiating 2-3 per month. Aside from that we get along great and I could see myself spending the rest of my life with her. She was my first and only, and for a while now I haven't been able to shake the feeling that I've missed out on a part of life. I want to know what its like to sleep with other people and I don't know what to do about it. I really don't want to hurt her so I haven't talked to her about the feeling of wanting to sleep with other people, but I've been holding it in for a year and the feeling isn't going anywhere. Emotionally things are great with my GF. The issue here is honestly just a physical one. I just want to have sex with other people. So do I bring this up with her? If so, how? Side note - I had not slept with people before my current GF due to personal beliefs that I no longer identify with.

I've been with my GF for 7 years. She was my first and I'm thinking constantly about what it would be like to sleep with other people. What do I do?

I am 19 my x is 18. We will call her h. So she spent Christmas Eve at my sisters with me and my whole family. We were drinking. I was feeling so anxiety I threw up. By this point I wasn't really talking to her. Until we went outside. Then we talked a little. And it was a lot better. Eventually we get to the point of being shit faced. So I took her upstairs to the bathroom. Showed her, her bed. She asked me to stay. So I did. And one thing led to another and we ended up having sex. I found out she has this piece of shit boyfriend. Who doesn't want to associate with her at parties. Doesn't trust her. Looks through her phone etc. So she left and started texting me. Then texted about Hooking up again tonight. After a couple texts she completely changed her mind. She felt that it wasn't even cheating but I'm the right thing for her. And dating this guy is cheating. He has erectile dysfunction. What is going on in her head right now? She also isn't one to cheat

x hooked up with me, turns out she has a shitty boyfriend. Who has ed. Feels she didn't cheat I'm the right. Boyfriend is cheating

I met her online a few months ago. We texted for a little while. She was a few hours away, but I was planning on transferring to her college prior to meeting her so it was worth a shot. Slowly we started texting more and more which led to skype and calls. We made a few attempts to meet but they didn't work out. She did talk about relationships and that she wanted one. Early on, but hey. Finally I meet her. Everything transitioned to in person perfectly. We had sex on the first date. I don't think that night could've gone any better. Things slowed down after. She wasn't as responsive. I texted her asking why and even asked if I should just forget her (overdramatic I know). This upset her and I apologized. Week later and we were texting and I admitted that I had some feelings for her. Not over the top feelings, but that I was a little infatuated. She said it was very early but okay. Kinda felt bad about it after. She still shows signs of interest through all of this by texting first and the like, however, I did make an attempt to see her about a week later and she apparently forgot she had a sorority mixer for the sorority she just got into. Oh well. I did visit her college as a college visit (due to me transferring there). I texted her when I was leaving. She was bummed to find out I was leaving and couldn't see her but I mentioned earlier in the week I was visiting and she told me she had another mixer. Still through all this she shows signs of interest. However, in the last week or so not so much. I called her out for being a tease this past weekend. She didn't take it well at all. She was surprised I called her that. Told her how I was really excited to meet her and was hopeful. She told me since I've seen her she underestimated her school workload, had suicidal thoughts, and also was kicked out of her house back in her hometown temporarily not to mention greek events, school, and everything else. However, things eventually simmered down and we texted the rest of the night to each other. Since then I sent a text apologizing for sounding so blunt. She got back to it a few hours later saying she was busy at work. Conversation didn't continue as I fell asleep. Also texted her yesterday but I think she was at work again. Her responses were short and took a while to get back to me.

Met online; early on things go well, but slow down after a while; I said some things that probably have deterred her; what do you think?

I have an older sister who is only a year older then me. When I was about 2 and she was 3, she loved to play with me and she gave me a coin to play with or whatever. Being the child I was, I popped the coin into my mouth and started choking intensely. My mother heard the coughs and ran into the room desperately trying to get the coin out. After hitting my back like a hundred times, we got the coin out after me choking for about a minute. I'm really glad I survived.

Choked on coin when i was 2 for a minute or so. Edit: This is only what I've been told. Obviously I was too young to remember.

I noticed a lot that you seem to put work and yourself over her. Don't get me wrong, 63 hours in 6 days is absurd and props to you for that, but you guys have one day together man. I'd find a way to climb out of bed on that Sunday to spend the day with her (if it was me obviously), and fully invest myself in that for the day. But you may need something other than her and work, like a hobby or something. Going between those two, and only two things in your life make it repetitive, boring, tiresome, and can lead to depression. To get her i think you need to reinvent yourself again almost; or find yourself. Show her you can have fun again, show her who you were when you started dating and were happy, because obviously she liked that. I don't know how you'll show her because i don't know specifics of your situation, but cheer up, look for the positives, and remember she didn't leave you for good, that chance exists. Also, very importantly, don't act desperate, that will NOT help by any means.

focus on other things than those extremely important things (a hobby?), learn to be happy again and show her that, the chance still exists, don't act desperate!!! Good luck! Post an update soon!

so we broke up over a communication issue. i begged and pleaded (woops) and after she told me she wanted space i told her i understood and that it was childish and im working on it. we get back on good terms, her telling me she's still in love with me and that i am her soul mate but we rushed into things super quick and need to take it slow. i was doing fine until 2 weeks ago when work started taking over her time and i got a little needy again. it didnt drive her away but it did seem to push her a little. now the situation is we didnt hang out on a day we were supposed to, i had assumed she would text and say hey im omw but never did. i texted her the next day acting cheerful and saying hope she is having a good day and that mine is going good. no reply. 4 days later i message her on fb and say that i respect her space and can give her all the time she needs but i miss her and hope she's doing ok. no reply. so i call her 4 days later and say that i know she wants to run away and that i want to focus on our friendship while i improve on myself and that i know she's the one and stuff like that. she seemed quiet and said that she sees that im making a lot of progress and that i am an important person in her life and that she would like to be friends or maybe more but not to wait on her. she said she is falling for someone else. i said out of shock that it's fine and that i will still there for her. and out of shock again i texted her an hour later saying im glad we can be friends and i would like to catch up sometime. bad idea with no reply. i do feel like she is rebounding and i am not going to initiate anymore contact. i still want things to work out, im going to focus on me and just be happy and improve my life. but if i do decide i still want to give it a shot what should i do? just be myself and talk to me when she contacts me? go no contact at all, ignoring her texts unless she says something like why arent we talking or i miss you. i still want to be there for her when she really needs me but i don't feel like i could be a friend with these feelings i have for her. i know doing anything needy or clingy will drive her into the new guys arms.

i think ex still has strong feelings for me but after i told her i wanted to remain friends but i need to focus on me she states that she is falling for someone else. and now i dont think i could remain friends.

During high school i had broken up with her over another girl who i dated for fair good bit of time during my high school time. Now that i have a chance to be with her in a romantic/sexual way, i learn that she might possibly have a STD. While told this she explained that a TB test could show a false positive for said STD(out of respect still here).

The question at hand is should i risk her or play it safe and avoid her. (Notable mention) She has schooling to be a nurse. What should i do??

Since 9th grade this guy has been my best friend and at the ending of 9th grade we started dating. This relationship was amazing. We've had so many great moments together. Alot of fights too. Which in the end a week ago is when we broke up. He said he wasn't happy in our relationship and doesn't want to date. It really confuses me and he doesn't know how else to answer. Though we've been talking for about 4 days now even though we broke up. He wants to stay best friends, I would really love to do this. We both agree we still love eachother. This is where it's hard on me because when we end up hanging out again, how should I act? We plan on going to a roller coaster park like we always have in the next 3 weeks. This time as friends, I don't know how to approach it. What if I end up wanting to hold his hand or tell him I love him if something he does is cute. He's been my only guy best friend and we know everything about each other, every secret, every detail of our life, we've shared the past 2yrs and neither of us want to give it up.

How do I approach him when we hang out? What should I say or not say? I don't want to ruin the friendship we have and neither does he.

It was probably a date I went on when I was 16 and it was a whole night: We were stuck in traffic on 94 going to a Sox game in a mini van with side exhausts with a Mormon boy who told me that we couldn't listen to the Grateful Dead because it was inappropriate content then instead blasted Queen. BUT WAIT THERE IS MORE: at the game we find our seats and SUR-FUCKING-PRISE it's a date with his entire immediate family. I play with a nephew while there are Elvis impersonators fist fighting in the aisle next to me. The kid looks at me, motions for his mother and then I realized he peed all over me. My date goes, "Oh that happens some time, sorry" and does not offer to take me home.

I had to sit on an ambushed lets meet the entire family date while at a White Sox game with a Mormon child's piss soaked in my jeans for the entire game.

So I met a girl and we hit it off fast. A month later we became friends with benefits only to discover I had feelings for her only to discover they were not reciprocated. She liked someone else (they're now dating) and I needed time away so my feelings for her would die Down. Well, the way I deal with anything is by talking about it. And I told people we slept together and she found out and was completely shattered. She said I slaughtered her trust because she told me not to tell people but I did anyway. She said she doesn't know if she can every trust me again but she wants to try and remain friends because she still believes we can be good friends. Yes I screwed up. Yes this is my fault and I regret it deeply. Very deeply. My intent was to never hurt her. I just wanted to get over her so we could move on with our lives. But now this has blow up. And every time I try and hang out with her, she treats me differently. Not bad or good... but she's just indifferent. So how do I handle this awkwardness? Her indifference towards me isn't helping any and it's just making everything awkward and uncomfortable. I'm at crossroads and I'm not sure what to do.

I broke a friend's trust. She wants to give it another chance. I want to prove her that I'm worthy of being a close friend to her. Not sure what to do with the awkwardness.

Hey all. So I met a girl when I started at university a little over a month ago and we kicked it off. She was in a relationship of almost two years when I met her, but it was on its last legs. Her friends told me that they never saw each other anymore and that the relationship was failing. Sure enough, a few weeks of flirting goes by and she tells me the same thing, except she adds that she isn't romantically interested in her boyfriend anymore. Of course this makes me very hopeful. We spend a couple of late nights in her room in her dorm, cuddling and watching netflix. We got very close to kissing at one point, but I didn't go for it because we both made it very clear to each other that we feel that any form of cheating is absolutely disgusting. She talked to him on the phone that night and they decided to go on a break. She and her boyfriend get into a bit of a spat on the phone, he and a friend of his attack me personally, insulting my appearance and my style. She and I go to bed a bit bummed out, but nothing too bad. Within the next few days, she and her boyfriend finally broke up. We made out all night long that very night. They stayed "facebook official" for a few days. We've had sex a few times, and have done other things to each other many more times. She keeps saying how fate drew us together and how she likes me a lot, and that I can please her in ways her ex couldn't. Recently she and her ex have been talking. He's said repeatedly that he isn't interested in trying again and that he's happy being single, but I know that that is a load of BS because she read me his text messages that said that they should try again. I feel like he is trying to keep her feeling guilty and attached to him. He knows that I like her, and I think that he is trying to manipulate her and take her away from me. She and I had a long conversation last night, and she has no idea what to do. She said that she wasn't romantically interested in him anymore, but still loves his personality. She says that she is intensely attracted to me. I told her that I wanted to be with her more than anything, that I won't try to force myself upon her and that we can hold off whenever she says to. We still cuddle, kiss and hold hands, but I feel really nervous about this.

I think the girl I'm seeing is still attached to her ex and that he is trying to get her to come back to him. She says that she wants to be with me, but still loves his personality. No idea what to do.

I've just left for Uni and me and my girlfriend have decided to try long distance. It's not going well. As the title suggests, she's pissed at me. Whenever we speak, we can't speak about my life at Uni without her going in a mood. Speaking about her life is fine, she's happy and bubbly, but when I start telling her about my day she reverts to one-word 'hmms' and 'okays'. She freely admits this is because she's angry at me for going to Uni. She thinks I've abandoned her. I go to a very good Uni and it's really, really hard. A lot of work. I'm busy all the time. Of course some of that is social, but I think that's understandable when I've only been here two weeks and I'm trying to make friends. So yeah, I have been giving her less attention than when we were in the same city and I had only free time, but surely this is understandable? The work also leaves me stressed, the calibre of people here makes me feel unworthy, and I can't talk to her about this without her getting in a huff. I'm being punished and, in my eyes, maybe you'll disagree, I haven't done anything wrong. I know once I go back home she'll be happy again but I don't what I can do whilst I'm here Train tickets are too expensive; we're both quite poor, especially me at the moment. I understand she's lonely without me there - I'm lonely too! - and I know she's being like this because she's sad, but I don't feel (like she does) that it's my fault. I'm not going to give up my education, that's ridiculous. I don't think she'd want me to. She's being irrational like that, knowing I can't change the situation and being mad anyway. We've spoken about the issue a lot and nothing changes. She keeps saying she'll try, but she never does. It's really getting me down. Any advice? Any other students doing long distance?

girlfriend feels I've abandoned her by going to Uni, is being very standoffish whenever we talk, don't know if it's worth the stress in the high-stress environment I'm in.

I was an actor for a community theater in Mayfield, KY when I was in high school. I played rolls like the Cowardly Lion from Wizard of Oz, Lumiere (the candle stick) from Beauty and the Beast, the King in Cinderella and Tom Sawyer in Big River! I always got to play the fun exciting rolls. I was pretty often recognized by small kids as "THE LION!!!!!" at restaurants and Wal-Mart or at schools when I went with the acting troupe to read stories. The best time though was when I went on a date with an older co-worker a couple years later. She was smokin hot and I was the dough boy, so you could imagine I felt pretty out-classed. We were sharing stories over a couple milk shakes when a women and her 8-9 year old daughter come up to the table. "Excuse me, but aren't you the boy who played the Cowardly Lion?" The lady asks. Granted it had been about 3 years now I blushed a bit and said yes. The little girl jumped when I said yes and said, "See I told you mom!" She gave me a hug and told me I was her favorite, asked for my autograph and after a thanks they went on their way. The girl I was with was pretty doey eyed for a bit after that. Didn't matter though, didn't go any where after that. I had just got out of a 2 year relationship and apparently completely forgot how to function with women even when a golden opportunity falls in my lap. Oh well, I made the little girls day!

I was recognized as the cowardly lion 3 years after a play, signed an autograph, while on a date and still didn't get laid. /sigh

Hey Reddit, I'm an American undergrad student who wants to study abroad in Italy for a semester. And since I'm an Italian citizen I'd really prefer to do it for next to nothing instead of the $50,000 a year American schools charge. Problem is, I don't speak Italian. Therefore I have to find an English speaking international school in Italy to which I can directly apply. I've been researching it using this nifty little site that can usually answer all my questions (link- google.com) but I haven't been able to turn up any solutions! Everything I find is either to apply for 4 years at an Italian speaking university or to set up a study abroad program piggybacking off another American school's program. Unfortunately this option still charges US tuition fees.

So, with all other means falling short, I ask you Reddit. Is there any way for an American student and Italian citizen to study abroad at an English speaking university in Italy and pay Italian tuition rates? Thanks for any help!

One morning last month, my grandpa couldn't get a hold of our elderly neighbor (who was kind of his best friend and had just had a heart attack). Our neighbor's son called asking if we talked to him recently, we said no and we hadn't gone over to check because we didn't have a key. Fast forward an hour or so, I get a call from my grandpa saying that the son had called and he found his dad dead. In its self, this moment was hard, but the pain continues. We go outside and see police, ambulance, medical examiners, etc. We end up sitting on our porch waiting to talk to the son to find out what happened. Less than 20 minutes later, we get notified that my other grandpa that lives 5 hours away is unconscious and has 24 hours to live. My uncle goes and talks to police and finds out that our neighbor shot himself. And his dog. At this point I am sobbing in my mothers arms making sounds I didn't know were humanly possible. I'd already lost both of my grandmas. We decide not to go see him, it's not what he would have wanted. The next day, we go to our Girl Scout meeting as usual. Right before 2, when our meeting starts, my mom comes into the room crying. He died. I then spent the rest of the 2 hours normally except for some much needed hugs.

One of our family friends kills his dog and commits suicide. Within 24 hours, my grandpa that I am extremely close to, dies unexpectedly and I lead a Girl Scout meeting normally the same day.

I posted a few weeks back but deleted the post. The summary of the situation is this: I met a female gamer playing an mmo who is currently married with two kids and is in an emotionally abusive marriage. She has been in this marriage for 10 years. My insecurities caused a rift and our contact has become strained. We became close, feelings were very strong and we professed our mutual love for each other. We chatted and Skyped often. In time, though, my insecurities and unease with the situation placed stress upon us both which has brought me to where we are. I tried to break off contact two weeks ago and stated as such. She was devastated and I ended up being unable to follow through. We decided our best bet was to try and remove the emotional side from it and I have been unable to do so. I've really struggled with everything. I feel like I love this woman and I know that my constant worries and questions caused the rift. It became very hard to not feel sad when her husband would call and interrupt our Skype sessions. Or when she suddenly changed factions in the game we played and seemed no longer wanting to play with me. I would make my feelings known and she tried to reassure me. It all became too much, as she felt as if it wasn't enough and she couldn't be enough. This past week, I told her that I couldn't handle just being friends right now and I should try to take some space. She explained that she doesn't feel the same as she once did and she doesn't know what the future holds. She said she isn't able to write things off for good yet but space and time are important. My questions are this: Is there hope or is it worth holding out hope for a future? Am I wrong to feel so bad about how I handled the situation? How can I overcome my insecurities relative to this situation?

I've struck up an emotional relationship with a married woman and couldn't handle the situation. Looking for advice on how to preserve our relationship or move forward.

on mobile, apologies in advance I have always dealt with extreme anxiety and depression, and it has exhibited itself in multiple ways such as excessive drug use, self harm, and anorexia. Despite this, my boyfriend has decided to stay with me, and we are currently in a long-distance relationship due to attending different universities. However, my anxiety and depression has recently gotten worse. Whenever he doesn't reply to a text or calls within a day, I start to convince myself that either he's dead, or has decided that he hates me. I feel like I'm really stressing him out with my worry. Furthermore, I have become nearly unable to leave my dorm room, and struggle to get out of bed each morning and go to class. I think our relationship may be destructive for both of us, as I am fairly insane, and he has to deal with my bullshit. I have brought up the subject of breaking up before due to this, but my boyfriend has been very against it, saying that he'll be here for me or whatever and he values my friendship. I just think that because my symptoms are getting much worse, it may be better for both of us to end it. At the same time, I'm not sure if this is fair to him (for me to end it on my own for his, as well as my sake). I really enjoy my relationship with him; I feel as if we truly are each other's best friends and share similar interests, goals, senses of humor, etc. But it may just be for the best. If I get better anyway in the future, and he is still available we could just get back together anyway. What do you guys think?

I am batshit insane. Boyfriend knows this and loves me anyway, but I think it is better to break up. Having doubts as to whether this is fair to decide for him, even though I'm almost sure we both would be better off. What do you think?

My family and I took our brand new camp trailer up into the mountains to do some gold panning, we were going to stay for 5 days or so. We brought our two dogs with us. So it was me, my brother, my parents, and two dogs. Spacious trailer, so it wasn't cramped. We were going to have an awesome time! Nope. My dogs have separation anxiety, especially so with my dad. And they didn't listen well at the time, so they couldn't just play in the creek while we panned. So someone had to stay with the dogs. We hooked them up outside, and my mom sat with them. That didn't work. Whining, pulling on their leashes and lines, the whole nine yards. Well, one, anyway. The other was fine-ish, he just chilled under the trailer in the shade. So I take them inside the trailer and sit with them. Again, my male dog was pretty chill. The female? Nope. She was freaking the fuck out. The. Entire. Weekend. Nothing we could do, short of letting her run free near my dad, would calm her down. Not even being on a leash within sight distance. I spent that entire fucking vacation in a camp trailer, while my dad and brother (and somewhat my mom, she was talking to the other gold panners that were there) had a blast. I was so pissed I just kept bursting into tears from the stress. I had nothing to distract me from the whining after I finished the one book I'd brought along. Never going camping with my damned dogs again.

5 day gold panning trip in the mountains, end up spending the entire time in our camp trailer trying to calm my dogs down because my dad wasn't near enough for their liking. Didn't succeed.

My girlfriend requested me to be honest with her when she asks me if I am okay, I have the bad habit about lying and saying that I am O.K. when I feel like utter shit. She says me being honest is healthy communication practice between us. She was out with her family today to celebrate her sister's birthday tonight when she asked me if I was okay and I was acting off. I did my best to be happy for her but lately my depression has been a lot worse and I was honest to her about it. I stayed in bed for a few days because she was busy and when my friends hung out online, they'd hang out in large groups and that gives me anxiety. I told her this exactly, and her sister and mother took her phone from her, read our messages, and then her sister sent me a text message. "I'm spending time with my sister for my birthday, can you chill the fuck out and stop making her feel like shit for spending time with me? Greatly appreciate it." Initially, my response was "Yes, I'm sorry" but i've begun to wonder whether or not that was even acceptable. 1) They took her phone without her consent and snooped through our messages 2) They were emotionally involved in a relationship they're not a part of 3) They took the extra step past forming an opinion to shoving it down my throat. What do I do? Am I in the wrong? Am I personally flawed? What do I change? Should I not tell her when I feel bad?

Sister sent me her opinion of my actions after snooping through my girlfriend's phone, I do not appreciate this but cannot help but feel like shit.

Hi everyone. Been a Reddit lurker for a good while now, joined today and then discovered this subreddit (maybe I should have joined earlier then!). I'm 5'4" and female and started at 210 lbs/95.25 kg back 2/19/2010. I had been overweight most of my life and it just got worse and worse as I entered college and then grad school. In 2008 I was diagnosed with Poly cystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) which can contribute to significant weight gain as well as put me at high risk for diabetes. In January of 2010, right before a move, I was finally diagnosed with something that we had always thought but never could prove --I had a thyroid issue. Hashimoto's thyroiditis specifically. You can look it up if you want, but the important thing is that this autoimmune disease is a weight loss killer. Not only does it actively slows down your metabolism and increase water retention, but it also makes your body dead weight and extremely useless, thus making exercise almost impossible most days. While the news was devastating, I also felt relief. I had failed with diets so many times before because I felt like I was useless. Once there was a medical reason for at least part of my weight gain, I felt like I could fight it, and fight I did. I joined weight watchers at that time and had a good workout buddy at work. I learned my portion sizes and we took advantage of the hills (work in the Blue Ridge foothills) and the weight started coming off. Once my new health insurance kicked in (new job), I was able to start getting my treatment for replacement thyroid hormones. By mid-May I was down 30 lbs/13.6 kg and filled with all new confidence. That was the weekend I met my husband (hadn't dates for the previous 7 years, if that gives any indication of the level of my self-esteem before). Things slowed down, obviously, especially after leaving Weight Watchers for myfitnesspal in July, but by my wedding on Dec. 20, 2012, I was down to 135 lbs/61.23 kg! Unfortunately, the wedding and honeymoon added on some weight. This January I decided it was time to dose off some of my medications and take stock of where my body was and to see what preparations/help we would need when we start trying for kids in the next year. One of the meds I was on happened to have a side effect of being a diuretic. Even though I dosed off slowly, I put on a massive amount of weight in a short time (most due to water retention, some due to overeating from depression over the water retention). I am now up 26 lbs/11.79 kg from my lowest weight. I'm back on Weight Watchers again and hope to start counseling soon for the over/binge eating. My husband has also joined me on Weight Watchers (trying to keep in shape for the military), so hopefully that will help with the motivation.

Discovering medical issues led to resolution to finally lose weight. Ups and downs over 2 years. Currently down 49 lbs/22.23 kg. Want to lose another 41 lbs/18.6 kg.

I've been dating my boyfriend for about 5 months; he's a natural flirt. This has never really bothered me before until these last few days. He confessed to me that a few months ago, when we first started dating, this girl that used to be his fwb showed up in his house for breakfast, in lingerie (while he was sleeping, backdoor was unlocked). He also told me that this one other girl grabbed his D last weekend because she was trying to give him a bj (she was drunk) and some similar things that 2 other girls did. >All this has bothered me a lot since I don't feel this is just innocent flirting and didn't know the extents these girls would go to get some sex from him. Apparently there's a lot of other things he won't tell me because he doesn't want me to get jealous. >I've had a conversation with him last night (actually I freaked out and pretty much broke up with him but we're "good" now) since I was very upset about all this, but he reassured me that I have nothing to worry about and that I should trust him. >I do trust him 100% but it still bothers me a lot that these girls are pretty much sexually assaulting my bf. I asked him if he enjoyed the attention and he said that it was "annoying as fuck". I said that maybe he should figure out what he was doing to make these girls think it's ok for them to do that (they do know he has a gf by the way); but he kept repeating that he knows how to handle them and apparently that should be enough for me. >I also want to say that I've never been the jealous type (and never been accused of it, except for now) but I'm feeling like "that"girlfriend now. Honestly, I'm still upset; I'm a flirt too but I'd never let guys touch me like that. At this point I don't kow if I'm overreacting. I feel like they're not respecting him but he says I'm making a huge deal out of it, so I'm unsure now. >Reddit, do you think I'm overreacting? Am I just a prude and this is the way girls flirt? How should I deal with this?.

Girls keep hitting on my bf by showing up in his room in lingerie, grabbing his D and stuff like that. I'm upset, he says it isn't a big deal and that I'm being too jealous. I'm starting to feel like a prude. Am I overreacting?

Hi! I'm an international student who is doing his MBA this fall in Toronto. It might sound non sense to have cash already and instead of paying directly the tuition fees, using it as collateral to obtain a loan. But having the benefit of building a credit record , my University paying interest for the first 2 years, and with prime rate loan (2.85%) I'm tempted to think, I might invest the money in a GIC, or any similar product with a better return than the interest rate, and beat the system. I'm wrong or not?

I'm looking for an investment product with a better return rate than prime rate, so I don't have to pay with my own money the interests of my student loan in Canada.

Edited in link. Orginal poat here- Last week my wife was hiding aomething on her phone from me. So I snooped, I hate admitting it but I did. While i was looking at her text noticed a bunch of text between her and a old fling. Really fucked up sexual stuff. (Not festish stuff) I confronted her, she played it off as a jokes between friends. I confronted her again, still a jokes. Came home a day early. Snooped through her old phone and surprise, surprise. More of the same. To which I confronted her again. This time she admits to it, but they are just words. And that its caise she wanted attention from someone. I've been begging aince our son to gove her attention. Sexual and just cuddles. To both she fights me off. I also confronted the guy. And ripped him a new one. Anyways. I'm trying to be a bigger man and forgive her. But since then been thinking about what I've read and been told. And shits not adding up. Plus now ahe has snap chat on her phone. And she's been trying to not talk about the whole thing. When i want answers. So tommorow, I'm going to just ask for the truth. And if she refuses or give me more of the same run around. I'm done. I'm trying to forgive her for shitting on 4 yeara of marriage, and shes not being honest with me. I deserve that much. Just the truth. And a funny tid bit, she flipped out more about me smoking again, then she wanted me to flip out about the affair. So at this point, I'm ready to move on if need be.

wife cheated, brushed it off as nothing. Avoiding talking about it. Im trying to forgive her. But she's not giving me much to go with. Going to ask for the truth, or I'm done.

This is a throwaway account because she knows my reddit) Let me start off by saying my girlfriend and I are into femdom, however it was only in the bedroom, but recently she wanted to take it a bit further and wanted to try out an FLR, I wasn't too keen on the idea at first but decided to try it. When we tried it out, she had control of everything in the relationship and all I did was please her (not going to go too much into detail). After awhile I found it suffocating and didn't like the idea of having everything controlled by her. After 2 months of being in an FLR, I decided it wasn't for me and talked her that I didn't like the idea, however my GF is still pushing on the idea and thinks I don't trust her and I'm too scared of her having complete control. I'm deciding whether or not I talk to her more about this or just put my hands up and say "fuck this" and break up with her, or am I being too rash.

Gf wanted to try an FLR and I didn't like it after i tried it, GF still wants to try it. Starts saying i'm not trusting her and being scared of her having control, should I talk to her about this or should I break up.

Yes it was, ha. Also, I do know what you mean, I think. You were saying that people who walk in order to get physical exercise are inactive otherwise, what I must assume you meant was that it's sad that we're not all more fit to the point that walking is effortless so as to render it inefficient as a means of exercise? My point, the

if you will, is that walking is a valid form of exercise regardless of your level of personal fitness and is not indicative of a low level of overall societal obesity.

Story time! My first sexual experience. I was coming home from a high school party. My friend was driving (this was his Mom's mini van). The car was filled with kids because my friend was the only sober one so he was driving us all home. I was in the back seat with this girl who I had hit it off with at the party. So we were making out and then she pulls off my pants and she starts to give me head. (Worst bj I've ever gotten but I had no idea what to expect at the time.) So we get dropped off and I give her my number. The following weeks were probably the worst of my life. She was constantly texting me, sending me nude pics of herself and asking when we were going to meet again. Horny teenage me had no idea what to expect. Eventually she found out my home address and started showing up unannounced. One day I found her naked on my bed masterbating with my TV remote. This was the last straw. I basically told her to fuck off and leave me alone. For the next several months I received multiple death threats, marriage proposals and suicide notes. Eventually I met her parents and told them the story and explained myself to them. They moved into the next state over a month later and haven't heard from her since.

Crazy chick was my first bj. Stalked me found out where I lived. Told her parents and she moved away. P.S. Don't stick your dick in crazy.

My friend Patrick and I have been friends for 3 or so years and have known each other since childhood. When we first started hanging out I had a crush on him but it didn't go anywhere and after a month or so I got over it and now I just consider him a close friend. We get on incredibly well, but I don't have any feelings for him beyond friendship. I'm engaged to Peter [20M] and we've been together for 2 years. Our friends and family are all supportive and seem very happy for us, but Patrick has been behaving oddly and saying things that worry me a little. A few weeks ago, I went to the local bar with Patrick and a couple of other friends, we had a few drinks and had a good time. He lives in the centre of town and often has friends stay over rather than walk home or pay for a taxi. That night I stayed over at his, which I've done a few times before. Nothing has ever happened between us. We were watching TV before heading to bed (he gave me his bed and he slept in the guest room) and while we were watching he suddenly grabbed my hand and held it. I was a bit surprised, but I often hold hands with my friends so I didn't think anything of it at first. He squeezed my hand a couple of times and I let go because I wasn't comfortable with it. I haven't told Peter because he gets very jealous very easily, and gets angry or upset if he thinks anyone has any interest in me whatsoever. If I did tell Peter he would be very uncomfortable or angry with me continuing to be friends with Patrick. Patrick often asks about my relationship with Peter and tries to get me to go into details I'm not comfortable talking about, including our sex life, how often we see each other etc. But he refuses to spend time with me if Peter will be there, even though we all share a lot of friends. Little things keep building up, like insisting on partnering with me in games with our friends, asking lots of questions and being a little bit too touchy-feely. This is exacerbated when he's drunk. Patrick's been single for a long time so I don't know if he's just a bit lonely or has actual feelings for me.

My friend is really interested in my relationship with my fiance and can cross the line sometimes. I don't know if I'm being paranoid or if he actually feels something for me.

I really just need some help in figuring out what to do about it. Whenever I think about one of the girls, I feel like I'm betraying the other two. In reality, only one of them is getting betrayed. -Girl 1: My girlfriend. Been with her for a long time. My feelings for her have started to die, but recently, I've had bits of my feelings for her come back. Dunno how I feel about her. (Kinda long-distance relationship. That's not what negatively affected the relationship.) -Girl 2: I've had on-and-off feelings for her for forever. We're really good friends, talk on Skype quite often. There's an undeniable chemistry. The only reason I haven't pursued her is because she lives back in my home town. Though I am going there in a month or two, and I feel that when I do, I might "try something" with her, if that makes sense. I just feel a need to connect with her. Kiss her, hold her, be with her, etc.. We know we liked each other before. Though I feel this couldn't evolve into anything more than just that. The occasional moment when our paths cross. -Girl 3: She lives close to me, and we go to an acting class together every week. I've fallen for her. It's one of those really, really strong crushes, where you dream about that person, think about 'em a lot, etc. There are a few problems here... She's five years older than I am, and much more mature. I feel like I'd have to change a lot about me if I wanted anything serious. But I dunno if that's what I want, either. Honestly, overall, I just want to be with her and see what happens. All my emotions say "go for it", but my brain tells me it won't work out because of numerous complications. I have no fucking clue how she feels. I just dunno what to do. Maybe I wanted to just vent about it. Maybe I want advice. I really don't know.

Varying levels of feelings for three girls. No lust, all a desire to be intimate with them in other ways. One of them is my long-time girlfriend, who my feelings for have started to fade, but still can't bear to leave. Dunno what to do.

I have a job interview at GameStop, I was just wondering if anyone could tell me how much I should dress up for this interview? I don't want to under/over-dress. Also, is this something that I should bring a resume to? I have turned in my application and have gotten the interview, but I also want to get the job. I have previous experience including 3 years as an assistant manager at another retail store. I have since moved out of state for school and left on good terms. I would REALLY like to have this job. Any advice would be appreciated!

Job interview at GameStop, looking for advice on how to dress and what to bring. (i.e. resume, any other paperwork) Yeah, my bad... Sorry should have thought of that... I would like to be professional and myself, not a character.

We're both ~20, been together for 3 years, living together, moved far away from home together to go to university. So he started acting a bit shady the last month or so, talking to this girl that I've never heard of. New friends are good, don't get me wrong, but it was a bit excessive. Like every day chatting on facebook, texting, going to parties together all that jazz. We talked about my concerns and he assured me they were just friends. I warned him that friends don't really act like that, she must have some sort of feelings for him and he said he'd take care of it. All was well. Until about a week ago. We attended a party, the oteh girl was there as well. She knows about me, we've met and stuff as well. She makes a move on him at that party while I'm talking to other friends. Awkward, right? But not really terrible. The terrible thing comes afterward, when I ask my boyfriend about the whole thing. He says he's not sure about what he's feeling about her, a day later he says that there are no feelings, another day later he admits that he's had feelings for her all along but it's actually my fault for not being the best that I can be. He later backpedals and says it's all his fault, he was sending signals that he didn't mean to send. He assures me that he loves me and wants to be with me, though. It also feels like that girl is manipulating him into feeling guilty over this. She thinks that she is not to blame at all since he was "sending signals", and through all of this she's been acting kind of like a jealous girlfriend. She got really angry when he decided to meet up with me to talk things out instead of meeting with her for a talk, for example. Ever since the incident, as I call it, I've had this gnawing feeling, I can't really describe it. It's terrible. I don't know if I can ever be happy in this relationship anymore, knowing that he has feelings for someone else. That they will be hanging out together frequently because of mutual friends makes it even harder for me. I do love him, which is why this hurts me so much. Please tell me you have some good advice for me, because I don't know what to do.

bf meets another girl, they become good buddies fast, she makes a move at a party knowing he has a girlfriend, bf admits to having feelings for her as well but still loves me and wants to be with me

She got a new job, wouldn't stop talking about this one guy. He was such a funny good nice great guy and how hes a good friend. I got a bit worried but passive aggressive. Brought her to my high school registration, talked to all my girl friends and she got worried I'd leave her for one of them because "They're so much better than me" They were stuck up really.. Anyways, we argued and I found out she went to a movie with this guy. She didn't tell me, not even a message, didn't meet the guy before hand, never saw his face.. nothing. How did I find out? 5 texts and 1 phone call. the call and 4 out of the 5 texts were my friends flipping out, asking questions if we broke up. the other text? "I think we should really take a break, I'm sorry. Lets just try to be friends for a bit" Oh and then after things calmed down, about 2 weeks later (It was really awkward too) I texted her "So do you still love me?" "I'm sorry"

she met a new guy at her new job, wouldn't stop talking about him, I got passive agressive, we argued and argued, she broke up with me for him.

The golden boy of our town-- proud alumni of the local high school, wrote a book about the history of the town, became an elementary school teacher-- was revealed to be a pedophile. Mind you, this was after our school administration, who KNEW about his inappropriate behavior, gave him a glowing recommendation and allowed him to transfer to another school just to get the problem out of their building. Turned out there was a circle of child abuse, drug use, and underage prostitution going on. Also, the high school girl's soccer coach was fired over some ridiculous contract dispute. The whole town rallied together to have him reinstated. We even had a parade. The next year, he turned out to be a pervert who was stalking and sexually harassing one of the girls on the team. These two scandals happened right on the heels of one another.

Perverts and pedophiles everywhere, and my town throws parades for them. EDIT: Forgot one. The superintendent also tried to stop a mentally-handicapped student from walking with his class during the graduation ceremony. It went to court and everything. Kid's family eventually won.

Yesterday I tried to start a romantic relationship with my closest friend. We've known each other for one year. However, she said that she doesn't have feelings for me that way (nothing on the physical aspect to be precise). I thought about ending our friendship, but decided to still be best friends with her. It's neither her, nor mine fault things couldn't work out. We've been best friends for quite a while now, always sharing personal stuff, messing around, hanging out, etc. I know her better than anybody else does. She knows me the same way. I'd never forgive myself if I lose her because of this, nobody would win if I do it. She'd lose her closest person and so would I. Am I doing the right thing? I promised her to move on and forget about the romantic aspect of our relationship, keeping the things the same. One day, if it was meant to be, we'd be together, I'm sure. Should I completely forget about moving to the next level or leave it as an option in the distant future? People change, you never know.

Wanted to move the things one step further with my best friend, she declined. I decided to keep our friendship "as is". Advices, opinions, please?

Like, over the weekend we made hamburgers for lunch and halfway through on of my hamburgers I noticed that one of her hairs had cooked into it. No biggy. But she got pretty upset and quiet at herself as if I was scolding her. I said "baby, it's ok, it's nothing", she didn't fully believe me. I could see her just getting down on herself. Her father treated her like hell and her highschool/college boyfriend pretty much walked all over her. She says that it's going to take some getting used to not being blamed for everything while at the same time not being expected to support us. How can I make her feel better about herself and to not feel guilty about me helping support us? I mean, it sounds ridiculous to me that she would take issue with that, but, sometimes it feels like I need to actively deprogram her from feeling this way instead of just expecting her to come entirely out of this abusive and self loathing funk. She is honestly a beautiful, funny and incredibly intelligent woman. I feel like she needs a little ego. I really want her to be happy within herself and not be scared to have some more backbone. She won't be around her father without me, the man behaves when I'm there. If I wasn't he'd just come up with some bullshit excuse to degrade her and her life choices. I wish I could just jump into her body and tell him to fuck right off. Help?

She blames herself and scolds herself for things that aren't her fault and don't even bother me and I just want her to be happier and more confident

so lets call them gen (F21) and joel (M22) been together for 3 years now, i met them through my ex boyfriend and they've become some of my best friends. we were all drunk and had taken caps on the weekend, I'm leaving the country to go travelling, so we were celebrating. joel has told me he is proposing to gen soon, and i know for a fact she will say yes. I'm absolutely ecstatic for them, but worried about one tiny thing now. gen has dated absolute assholes in the past, majority of which have ended up cheating on her. joel, gen and i were talking, gen was sitting on the ground infant of us, and i was standing next to joel, he had his hands around my waist, nothing bad to think, just friendly. he then slides his hand down to just above my ass, i know joel, i thought nothing of it. next few seconds, his hand is on my ass, grabbing and feeling it. i've freaked out and gone and sat next to gen. i don't know if i should tell gen or not? i know she will stay with him, but i feel like if i tell her that we all won't be able to hang out together anymore, because she will have a fear something like that will happen again. i know we were all drunk, but i feel he still knows what he did or was trying to do was wrong. i would never do anything like that to gen, but like i said, they're getting engaged, do i say something to gen or do i leave this and risk him hurting her in the long run? please help

please help i don't know how to go about this situation, i want to stay friends with them but i want to make sure she doesn't get hurt .

My girlfriend and I have been together for about 9 months. We've had our ups and downs, and I love her with all my heart. She treats me better than any girlfriend I've ever had, and she makes me genuinely want to be a better person for her. I am 99% sure I am going to marry this girl, and I look forward to my future with her. My parents also adore her. As I am the only son of Korean parents, this is SUPER RARE. This is the first time my parents have approved of a girl I'm dating, and it's a huge relief. My mother texts my girlfriend more frequently than she texts me -__- Therein lies the problem. My parents are urging me to marry my girlfriend RIGHT NOW. They are worried that if I wait too long (apparently anything longer than 1 year is too long..) she will lose interest and I will lose her. I have told them repeatedly that I'm not ready yet, and that I plan to be in the relationship for at least 2 or 3 years before planning marriage. Also, I'm not struggling financially, but I would rather have more time to prepare (save up for ring, wedding, etc). My parents are so insistent, they have offered to buy the engagement ring for my girlfriend! I told them that is out of the question... It was causing me a lot of stress, so I talked to my girlfriend about it. She knows already how much my parents love her, but her response both surprised and worried me. She agreed with my parents' sentiment that if I wait too long, I could lose her (this isn't as bad as it sounds. It's sort of a Korean thing, she's not saying she will lose interest in me romantically.. it's hard to explain)

my parents want me to marry my girlfriend right now. my girlfriend kind of agrees. I feel rushed, but I definitely don't want to lose her. Not sure what to do :(

Okay so I'm out having a walk pondering the latest pitfalls of my life. when I realize that I have walked at least ten miles from my house my body decides the we are going to take a shit RIGHT NOW. I then manage to hold it in most of the way home when I find myself standing at the end of one of the busiest roads in the city and only a stones throw from home when I suddenly have the most violent and plentiful diarrhea of my life for the people sitting outside the diner to see. For the people stuck in traffic right beside to see and for everyone else on the sidewalk to see. Moreover The wind was blowing the stench straight into the faces of everyone walking behind me. Who could also plainly see the moist brown stain all over the ass and the back of the right leg of my trousers. But apart from that the smell would put a field of slurry to shame. But it made me feel a lot better to think that these people have no right to act so disgusted and dignified for they were once squeezed head first through someones vagina and I am sure that some of them have too shit their pants.

I shit my pants. Edit: But the real tragedy is that I couldn't salvage my hot sexy transformers underwear so I had to throw them out.

hi r/relationships, I need some major help: [background] I met Shane my junior year of high school at mutual friends birthday party. We hit it off really well, and we continued to date for a year and a half (from junior year of high school to beginning of freshman year of college). Things were really great for the first year and two months.. but then shit sorta hit the fan. I got into serious car accident going into my freshman year of college, when I tried to contact Shane, he did not answer. That summer I did not hear from him at all, for a total of three months no contact. The thing is, in the summer he works on an island where he has no cell phone service. During this time, I basically broke down from not hearing from him and I put my parents through hell more or less. Fast forward to the start of the school year and we decided to break up. We remained broken up for a year. However, back in August, we rekindled the spark, really sat down and talked through the issues we had. We have started dating again much to my parents dismay. My dad literally will shut down if I mention Shane, refuses to talk to me, and refuses to talk to him. My mother on the other hand, is passive aggressive about everything he does. I've had to start to lie to them about everything I do just so I can spend time with him.I just want them to recognize that he has changed and grown up and dealt with the issues that we had. I can really see a future with this kid and I want my parents to be able to handle him as he is a part of my life.

how do I get my parents to recognize my boyfriend has matured and is really a good guy, and not really the jerk they thought he was and to accept that he is a part of my life?

I was eight, my parents started to fight as it got closer to the holidays. It progressively got worse, but I got a puppy for my birthday that year and being with him made everything better. One day we woke up and my mom was gone she left and didn't come back to the house. My mom did reach out and explain it all and was still there if we needed her but for a distance. One day after school my dad picks me up and tells me my dog, the one that got me thur everything was taking to the humane society cause he thought the dog was the reason she left. Of course it wasn't and I never saw that dog again

parents divorced, the dog that got me thur it was taken away and never to be seen again, as my dad thought it was the reason for her leaving.

Preface: We have been dating 4 months but it seems a lot longer because until about 2 weeks ago, we talk daily (often up to 2 hours), taken weekend trips, and made big life decisions together (job, relocation, etc.). We broke up yesterday over the phone. Over the weekend, I mentioned that there seems to be a distance between us over the past few weeks and asked about what he thinks of the relationship. He said he is willing to work on things and to find time for me. He did not seem to have any concerns whatsoever and was as affectionate and loving as can be. A lot of things have been going on in our lives in the past month. I started a new job (similar to my old one but in a different office environment), and he moved out of his family's house to live closer to me and to his workplace. His student loans have been piling up (~$50k) and because of the expenses of moving out and loan repayment, he had to take a second job that takes up around 15 hours a week. He is also working towards his accounting designation, which he hopes to get in two years, and start saving up to buy a place after paying back all his loans. I told him that I will wait while he works out the kinks in his career path because I'm still young and not ready myself. He told me that I'm the sweetest girl he has ever dated and he doesn't want to keep me hanging because I deserve someone who can devote more time to me. He also told me that he was afraid when I brought up casually meeting my parents. I replied saying that I don't want to put pressure on him if he doesn't feel comfortable. I'm rather inexperienced with serious relationships and breakups so this has been particularly traumatic for me as we did everything together over the last few months and I thought that I have finally found "the one". Any encouragement or advice would be much appreciated.

Is there such thing as wrong timing or does he really not love/care about me enough? Is there a chance that we will get back in the future? We both would still like to keep in touch and remain friends.

I [m/28] have been dating a girl [f/24] for about 5 months now. While things relationship-wise are OK, I am having trouble with the financial aspect of it. I make a great salary and own my own house and she is working part time. I want to do things with her like go on vacations, go to concerts, go to nice dinners, etc. but cannot because I am unable to pay for both of us. This means that we are unable to do these kinds of activities. I know there are activities that we can do that don't cost a lot of money, but that doesnt change the fact that I want to be able to do the things that do cost more money. Does anyone else have experience with this? Do I need to just adjust my lifestyle because I am dating this girl? Thanks in advance.

Girlfriend makes a lot less money that me and we are unable to do things like go on vacations. Any advice for dealing with this?

SORRY FOR THE BLOCK OF TEXT, ON MOBILE . Some context: my friend (let's call her.. Kelly) and I we're best friends for 2 years in highschool. After we were friends for a while I introduced her to my main group of friends and soon we were all amigos. Like, hanging out every damn day amigos. Before I was really friends with Kelly, she was dating a major douchebag. When we became friends, I really helped her get her mind off of him and he became old news, or so I thought. Once we graduated, I got into a financial situation with my family that required me to move an hour out of town. I was without a phone for a few months and was working all the time to try and pay my bills so I didn't get the chance to visit. Fast forward a few months and I have a phone and everything is grand. I decided to go up for a visit. We all hang like normal and its fine, except Kelly is... Different. She's quiet and awkward and submissive and that's not the Kelly I knew AT ALL. Then, she spilled the beans that she's back with her ex, although long distance now. Even though she's awkward and its strange, I still hang with her and everyone else. My other friends didn't really notice it as much as I did it seems. Over the summer, everything is pretty good. We go on adventures like we use to and just chill out. And here's where it gets tricky... Kelly and my other best friend (let's call him James) end up sleeping together one night meaning Kelly cheated on her shitty boyfriend. We still continue to hang out after that but around Halloween I go out to eat with Kelly and I bring up the idea of a Halloween party. She said "my boyfriend is coming back up and its just going to be weird hanging out with James when he's here." I shrug it off, I was thinking that she would feel awkward around him but still had every intention to come around. Her ex moves back and she's gone. I mean not a text, a call, a message, nothing. She deleted James on Facebook and everything. James was really hurt by it. She completely burnt her bridge with us after being friends for years. I haven't talked to her since October and she's about to move out of state in a week. She contacted me and asked if I'd like to hang out before she goes. This puts me in a hard place. I want to be the better person and see her to not only say goodbye but to let her know how hurt everyone was by her actions. But then again, she almost doesn't deserve it. I told James she wants to see me and he doesn't like the idea. He thinks that I shouldn't give her the satisfaction of being able to say goodbye after everything. What does reddit think?

ex best friend is moving out of state and wants to say goodbye after the bridge has been burnt, I'm not sure if I should.

OH, okay, you're one of those people who think that living in a society should be a free ride! Awesome! You know, because your taxes DIRECTLY fund other people hanging out and having a good time. Stupid taxes. We should stop paying them and rely on the benevolence of others to keep order...oh wait. O_O You mean I can't enjoy the benefits and protections of living in an advanced Western society without paying for it?!? WTF, this SUCKS. I'm moving to Sudan, where at least I can be FREE AS FUCK. Because FREEDOM is DEFINITELY getting everything for free and not lifting a damn finger for anything else. At least you can rest easy knowing that most of your taxes fund the war, which is all about freedom, tits, and you getting your dick sucked 24/7. PHEW! Wouldn't want to pay anything towards getting people off the streets or making sure grannies can buy their glaucoma meds. Fucking slackers. They should just go get jobs making enough money to bite the hand that feeds them, and then they too can restore freedom a la Glenn Beck, who btw also constantly alludes to the government raping people.

FREEDOM ISN'T FREE BUT IT SHOULD BE SO I CAN SPEND MY TAXES ON STRIPPERS AND A NEW PAIR OF ROLLER SKATES. EVERYONE WHO HAS PROBLEMS SHOULD BE LEFT ON THE SIDE OF A MOUNTAIN TO FIGHT THE WOLVES.

Which is really why the federal government needs to stop having so much power, which I believe was the original plan the people that founded this country had in mind last I checked. I'm tired of realizing that it's nearly futile to want change because most of it has to be done at the federal level, if at least a few states fixed the health care system then either others would be pressured to fix theirs or people would just move.

or whatever): We could fix a lot of things by taking just one idea from Europe: not having one giant conglomerate dictate the lives of multiple independent states.

I think people who would slap a child for being "ungrateful" aren't beyond actually hurting them should they do something truly reprehensible. If your spoiled kid is a brat and complains that they didn't get a case even if they're in the wrong that's not a valid premise for slapping them. "Well maybe you should've gotten me a case" SLAP "You ungrateful bastard, I did get you one, now shut up and go to your room" Hitting your kids isn't the answer and if you think so you're out of your damned mind. Maybe if they're calling you a useless cunt who never does anything there's a grounds for slapping them, but I think a person who would slap a kid for being a brat isn't beyond doing far more painful things. Taking away material things in addition to a serious talking to is definitely a better approach. Lots of backwards people beat their kids and it doesn't end well for the most part. Hell, even your stereotypical super strict Chinese parent doesn't just beat the shit out of their kid and leave. (Constructive) words have to be exchanged and in my opinion it is those words that do far more than any beating can. If taking things away works just as well then taking out your anger on a child in lieu of that fact just makes you a masochist.

If taking things away from kids and talking to them works just as well as hitting them minus the guilt why not do it unless you get some sort of satisfaction out of hitting children?

So my local bird watching club meets up once a week and sometimes have special holiday themed meet ups. We go around and try to spot local birds. Well this past halloween I send out the email to the group to meet up at a nearby park and to show up in costume. It was the thursday before halloween. I put my costume on, grab my things and head out. I was running a little bit late but when I arrive a couple of the other guys are there and we're all wearing the same costume, which is pretty coincidental but then it gets even weirder as one by one the other members show up and they're all wearing the same costume too! So there we are a dozen inspector Clouseau's standing around with binoculars and high powered camera equipment. We all laugh and starting snapping pictures of birds in and around the park. Well, 20 minutes later the police show up and ask us what the hell we think we're doing. I explain that we're just birdwatching but they're not having any of it. They confiscate our cameras and start going through our pictures. I couldn't understand what the fuck their problem was until another member asked why the police were called and what we were suspected of doing. Well apparently, some of the parents at the playground thought we were pedophiles or something and called the police. Unbelievable. It was about that time some of the members started asking if we were being detained, and if not, could we go about our business. Well, the police didn't like that so they pulled out their tactical batons and started wailing on us.

A dozen bird watchers with binoculars and camera equipment dressed as inspector Clouseau met up at a local park and elicited an enthusiastic police response.

Okay, so I don't want to seem like an ungrateful gold digging type of person, because that's not it. I also understand that it's the 21st century blah blah blah... However, at a certain point I think it is okay to expect to not have to pay. Now this could be my mother finally getting her relationship ideals into my head, but I don't think that's it. I'm all for paying on dates, and with this particular guy it's been happening for our entire relationship. We've only been on one date that involved him paying on his own. Valentine's Day and any movie date, etc. has been shared. But now it's a week from my birthday and I am going to be spending a weekend with him in his hometown (we live like 4 hours away from each other). He has already purchased an expensive gift, but I still feel like buying dinner isn't too much. I'm kind of obsessively organized and I've already planned out his birthday (presents, dinner, etc.) and his presents are just as expensive, if not more so, and I never thought about asking to split the dinner bill. For a little background we both go to school away from home and have not found work in our hometowns, however he is probably getting his old job back and I have jobs waiting back at school. So while money is somewhat of an issue, I don't see it as a problem that a little saving couldn't fix. I guess my question is am I being unreasonable in wanting him to pay, and if not how should I go about telling him... I don't want him to think I have this expectation that the man should always pay or anything, but like I said I'll be paying for his birthday. Also if you think I'm being unreasonable, why? Sorry for the wall of text.

I want bf to pay for my bday dinner b/c I will be paying for his. He doesn't know about my feelings and wants to split the cost. What should I say or do/am I being unreasonable?

There aren't really any mitigating factors. We're both in our first year of college (at different schools), and things have been harder than they were at home, obviously, but I wouldn't say our relationship has gone to shit. At this point, we've been together for a year and 10 months and have each had hookups in the past but only had sex with each other. Like the title says, she brought up to me an open relationship. I reacted ambivalently; I wouldn't have brought it up myself, but now that she did, it sounds like something to try. She suggests that hook-ups would, in general, be fair game, but that we would not have sex except with each other and that we would tell the other when we hooked up. Personally, it seems to me that this would be fine. We don't see each other all the time, so it would certainly be sexually satisfying, but I wanted to ask someone who had experienced something like this what pros/cons, general guidelines, or advice you might have. I know it'll be different for every couple, but I just wondered generally what everyone thought. Thanks!

My girlfriend asked if I might at some point be interested in having an open relationship, and I don't feel strongly one way or the other; what are some general thoughts/concerns about open relationships?

I was in Paris and they have pay toilets there. It was a mall or a department store, I don't really remember, but you have to pay like half a Euro to go thru this automatic turn style to get to the washroom. I had to pee really bad, and I figured it'd be a nice washroom (it wasn't). I am looking for a stall because I have a messenger bag, and some shopping bags, and there is no way I'm putting it on the floor, and ideally stalls have hooks on the back of the door. It's really busy and there's a line for the stalls, when it comes to my turn I go in, and find this plastic card of porn in the toilet, and immediately am thinking so many things. Some of those things are along the lines of, What the fuck? I hope I'm not standing in someone's semen, and WHAT THE FUCK? Now there's a catch 22 that's developed in the past 10 seconds of me entering the stall with a line of people waiting. I can either get the hell out of dodge and leave immediately, and maybe get back in line having everyone wonder what the hell is wrong with me, or I can pee as much as 50 cents of the Euro buys me. I decide I have to pee so bad I can't wait again, and this cost me half a Euro already anyway. So I CAREFULLY inspect the backside of the stall door to see if there's any semen... sigh... and there isn't, and I figured the dude wouldn't be so kind as to wipe it clean, all things considered. I hang my bags up, shopping bags first so my messenger bag touches nothing, and proceed to pee on this plastic card of porn that is never going to flush down the toilet. I finish peeing, and leave the stall, and go to wash my hands. I then proceed to hear a lot of loud yelling, in French, by the guy who got my stall. He got in the stall before I got to the sink bay, so this whole line of people waiting to pee and poo are wondering what the hell I did in there, with that one guy thinking I rubbed one out in 20 seconds.

Went to a pay toilet and someone, sometime, masturbated to a plastic card of porn in the stall that I went in. The next guy thought that someone was me, maybe.

I never thought I can top killing the class pet (by accident) but I did. I was a Jester for some Christmas parade, that's easy, right? Wrong, not for me. The thing is, I hated being a Jester, and I was cold, hunger, and bored. When some guys offered me to go with them and 'borrow' a ATV to drive around the parade, I did the responsible thing, and responded with "sure why not!" Somehow drinks got involved and some other fun stuff... is this the time to mention I was volunteering under the regional police? Anyways, this one guy is driving around, everyone thinks we're part of the parade because, well therese a Jester in a Christmas decorated ATV being driven by some guys in Santa hats. While trying to peak through a huge tractor trailer (wheels were bigger than the ATV) he accidentally hit the wheel. Lucky us we didnt get ran over, but the Trailer guy did go the other way and drove the trailer right though a hot dog stand, a rather large Christmas tree, a bunch of candy canes for the kids, and cracked the window of... you guessed it, the regional police centre (the whole thing is pretty much windows) By some Christmas luck, no one was hurt, just a very pissed hotdog vender. Wearing the Jester mask, I bolted for it, and joined the parade. All the Jesters were lined up and demanded who did it... the boys I was with went to jail and are being charged. Im so scared that somehow they will figure out it was me! There were a few dozen Jesters, all wearing the same thing. As for me, I was thrown off of the ATV when we hit the wheel and have the worst headache, also I can not put pressure on my leg, but I do not want to get help yet because of the chances of of getting caught. I think it was just the adrenaline in me that allowed me to walk on like nothing happen, and no one noticed anything at the police station when us Jesters were lined up.

Went with some guys while volunteering with the police, ruined Christmas for a bunch of families and some hot dog vender, I think my leg is sprained and I have a concussion but I don't want to go to jail so im writing this instead.

Before reddit decides to shred my soul and send it home, please please understand that English is my 3rd language so prepare for grammar that would break your heart. We've had an interesting 5 years. He suffers from depression. He's also a people pleaser. He tells me what I want to hear and then months later reveal the truth. I'm an understanding person. I'm willing to work through any problems we've ever had, except this one. In our past he's been slightly verbally abusive. He used to have times where he would blatantly ignore me. This situation started when I thought I was on my Facebook account. Like I normally do, I delete my activities because I hate when it piles up. I was going through and realized, crap I don't know who this woman is but I keep looking her up. Then I clicked on the profile and it was my husband's. I felt awful because I'm all about giving him space and privacy. I should've left, but that stomach sinking feeling had me look at the previous years. He's looked her up before we got together, while we're together, and the last time he looked her up was when I was gone for boot camp. The thing that hurt the most is while I was at boot camp, no one was there for me. I didn't have my family writing me and encouraging. I had him. It hurt to think that he didn't have time to write me a single letter, but he had time to look up someone he was infatuated with. When I brought up the searches and showed him a picture of it, he denied knowing her. He denied having made those searches. Its been 9 months since I brought it up. Each and every time we sit down and talk about it to help him refresh his memory...he doesn't remember anything. He's denied this for 9 months. He keeps saying I don't know how they got there. Maybe Facebook accidentally did it. I swear I don't know who this person is. I have pictures to prove it's his profile. He's in complete denial and wants to blame Facebook or anyone. The reason I don't believe him is because I understand accidentally clicking the wrong person once or twice, but as many times as the name appears and over the period of time the name has popped up the chances that its an accident is highly unlikely. The day before yesterday we discussed breaking up. This has been the toughest hurdle to get over because I'm hurt by the fact that he just won't be honest with me. I would be willing to work through it if he would have told me the truth the third time I asked. I don't think he'll ever confess to it and that's fine. A captain must sink with his ship I suppose.

My husband has been in love with someone else for over 6 years. Won't admit to constantly looking her up and blames Facebook for the searches. 6 years of searches and about 19 times a year.....is a terrible coincidence according to him.

I'll give you some insight on the reddit vocabulary: SO = significant other FTFY = Fixed that for you ITT = In this thread [blah blah blah] IMO = In my opinion IMHO = In my honest opinion IIRC = If I recall correctly AMA = Ask me anything TIL = Today I learned DAE = Does anyone else [do this or that?] IRL = In real life

Too long, didn't read [insert summary of post here] NSFW = Not safe for work (nude pictures) NSFL = Not safe for life (cute animals) SMH = Shaking my head OP = Original poster

Losing my father. No he's not dead, but he might as well be. He cheated on my mom twice, ran her business into the ground, made us move countries, made fun of me growing up when I had legit questions cause puberty, and would never support me in anything I did. I had to rely too much on my mom growing up and thankfully she's amazing and stepped up to the plate. We got a house 10 years ago when my dad still lived here and we kicked him out I think 6 years ago, and we've been keeping this house standing since, as hard as it is. When my mom got fired from her job when I was 17, I did MY part and stepped up to the plate like my mom did and asked for a promotion at work. They didn't accept people who weren't under 18, but they decided to give me a chance since I was one of their best employees. I made enough to keep the house alive for the summer. It's been 4 years since that and the house is still here and my mom has found an awesome new job. One of my goals in life, if I'm lucky enough to start a family, is to be better than my dad by leaps and bounds. Shouldn't be too hard, but I don't want to be complacent with just being better than my dad. I want to be what my dad was never for me.

Not having a father and having a hard-working mom who showed me to work hard to get what you want made me who I am today.

So today, I was jogging a different way then I usually do. I used to be VERY afraid of dogs. So, I was jogging by this one house, where I saw a dog in the window. I said to myself, "He can't get out of that house". A few minutes later, the front door flew open and it was tearing across the owner's front yard, right at me. I was too tired to try to out run the dog, instead I stopped dead in my tracks. I then clapped my hands saying "Come here dog". Well, it worked. The dog ran right up to me wagging it's tail, and I pet it. I walked past the house, the dog walked up to his porch, and at a respectful distance, I continued to jog again.

Afraid of dogs, chased by dog, greeted dog instead of running, dog and I had a mutual understanding, fear of dogs resovled. So Reddit, what fear have you had that you have recently gotten over that occurred all of a sudden?

I strongly disagree with your perception of firefighters. It isn't a dangerous job statistically (except in movies) Firefighters almost never run into a burning building to save someone trapped (or even have that opportunity) Firefighters don't have some extra wellspring of love for the lives of strangers (they took a job that pays well, has good benefits and offers some excitement) I much prefer a cab driver to a firefighter. Cabbies are underpaid for a dangerous job that provides a real and necessary service; on top of that, cabbies don't demand hero worship every time they do their job.

A guy who paints a bridge saves more lives and has a much more dangerous job than any firefighter. They just don't have the PR.

I think this problem has something to do with how poor the town is that the Mexican lives in to where people value fish so highly that you can make a living off a few a day. What I think I'm trying to say is that there isn't much to a life in that village. Here in America we live in a rich nation where our lives are filled with extra shit and each piece of shit needs a company invested behind it. In other words natural resources are so readily available to us (as consumers) that it's much more convenient for us to find something very specific to do as a part of a company (unless we work hard to make our own legitimate businesses) rather than go out and compete with actual companies by yourself who are selling fish which they catch my the boatload to make cheaper in our rich American grocery stores. Edit/

the Mexican seems like he is in more of a harmonious 3rd world type situation like how Native Americans lived than an environment raping machine that is our 1st world nation which is why we can't compare them very well like you say.

On a date years ago, my date picked the movie(which blew major A- hole). 1/3 of the way through a guy stumbled in, dragging his date who had to be under the drinking age and was sloshed off her ass. They sat the row in front of us and she was slurring loudly for a long time as he tried to hook up with her. My date was getting mad that I wanted to get a manager and "make a scene" but I said screw it. I informed a manager then came back just in time to see him fondling his sloppy date who then spewed all over the floor and seats in front of them. It was like a damn fountain. The manager came in with cops, dragged them out and covered the vomit with a strawberry smelling powder that didn't hide the smell at all. It just left a disgusting mix of fruity spew hanging in the air. My date didn't want to leave and the theater refused to give anyone a refund.

First date, teens come in drunk and loud. The girl throws up like a fountain then escorted out. Smells awful for another 45 min. and we got no refund.

36L of vodka. One of the major vodka brands uses an ad agency that crowd-sources campaigns through video contests. They asked me to participate (I'd won some in the past, and they liked me). I put together a project that involved throwing a party, asked for vodka. Realized it was more illegal than I initially thought, asked to cancel the order, and was informed that they had already sent it that morning. Three months and two e-mails later, I decided it's probably mine.

needed video for commercial, cancelled it, still got vodka Also got 200 packs of Dentyne gum from a non-profit NGO once. edit: 36L is 48 26oz bottles

Not me, but my wife at the airport. We were waiting for a flight home from Vegas (god damn was it a good time), it was around 3 in the afternoon and our flight was apparently overbooked. We were hanging out at the bar right next to our gate, still getting our drink on while we waited. We then begin to hear this horrendously loud argument happening at the counter/kiosk/whatever thing. It turns out this couple (both in their mid 50's, looked generally seattle hippy) were throwing a raging tantrum over not sitting together. They had booked their flights on expedia together, but the airline had moved the seats because the flight was so full. They were offered the next flight, but they continued to scream and bitch. This goes on for about 5 minutes - and you can see this poor 18 year old girl behind the counter is just starting to break down. My wife, out of nowhere, proceeds to get up, walk over to the counter, and just says straight to the poor girl, ignoring the couple, "They can have my seat and my husbands seat, together, if they promise to shut the fuck up and leave you alone. We'll wait for the next flight". The couple are both shocked - they just stare at her and start giving her the stink eye. But they stay silent. We then proceed to exchange our tickets, and get our seats for the next flight. But wait! There is a bonus here. The flight was overbooked - so we receive vouchers for 2 free round trip tickets to anywhere the airline (Alaska) flies because we had volunteered our seats on a overbooked flight. We ended up using them for flights to Hawaii later that year. Oh yah - and the next flight? It was 30 minutes later.

Save poor airline girl from bitchy couple by giving up our seats and taking next flight. Get 2 free flights and stay in vegas an extra 30 minutes.

So I completed an internship about a month ago, took a couple weeks off to relax, and have been applying for jobs ever since. Had 4 interviews last week that went really well, and all of them contacted me within the last couple of days saying that they couldn't reach 2 of my references. I have tried contacting them as well, but have been unsuccessful. I've never had this problem with any other jobs I've had. What I want to do is call each hiring manager and give them 2 alternative references, both of which I know would be available and are already aware of my intentions to list them. Should I do this? I am aware it is slightly unprofessional.

Should I call the managers of multiple potential employers in order to give them new references because they can't get in touch with the ones I initially gave them, or is this a bad idea/unprofessional?