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Ron Weasley: No.

Oh, are you doing magic? Let's see then.

Ron Weasley: Sunshine, daises, butter mellow, turn this stupid fat rat yellow!

Are you sure that's a real spell? Well, it's not very good, is it? Of course I've only tried a few simple spells myself, and they've all worked for me. For example... Oculus Reparo. That's better, isn't it? Holy Cricket, you're Harry Potter. I'm Hermione Granger...and you are...?

Ron Weasley: I'm...Ron Weasley.

Pleasure. You two better change into your robes. I expect we'll be arriving soon. You've got dirt, on your nose, by the way, did you know? Just there.

Hermione Granger: It's not real, the ceiling. It's just bewitched to look like the night sky. I read about it in Hogwarts: A History. Minerva McGonagall: Will you wait along here, please? Now, before we begin, Professor Dumbledore would like to say a few words. Albus Dumbledore: I have a few start of term notices I wish to announce. The first years please note that the dark forest is strictly forbidden to all students. Also, our caretaker, Mr. Filch has asked me to remind you that the 3rd floor corridor on the right hand side is out of bounds to everyone who does not wish to die a most painful death. Thank you. Minerva McGonagall: When I call your name, you will come forth, I shall place the sorting hat on your head, and you will be sorted into your houses. Hermione Granger.

Oh, no. Okay, relax.

Ron Weasley: I'm telling you, it's spooky. She knows more about you than you do. Harry Potter: Who doesn't? Ron Weasley: Ahh! Harry Potter: What's happening?

The staircases change, remember?

Harry Potter: Let's go this way. Ron Weasley: Before the staircase moves again. Harry Potter: Does anyone feel like...we shouldn't be here?

We're not supposed to be here. This is the 3rd floor. It's forbidden.

Ron Weasley: Alohomora?

Standard book of spells, Chapter 7.

Argus Filch: Anyone here, my sweet? Come on.

Filch is gone.

Ron Weasley: Probably thinks this door's locked.

It was locked.

Harry Potter: And for good reason. All: AHHHHHHH! Ron Weasley: What do they think they're doing?? Keeping a thing like that locked up in a school.

You don't use your eyes, do you? Didn't you see what it was standing on?

Ron Weasley: I wasn't looking at its feet! I was a bit preoccupied with its heads. Or maybe you didn't notice, there were three!

It was standing on a trap door. Which means it wasn't there by accident. It's guarding something.

Harry Potter: Guarding something?

That's right. Now, if you two don't mind, I'm going to bed before either of you come up with another clever idea to get us killed... or worse, expelled!

Ron Weasley: You do it then if you're so clever. Go on, go on.

Wingardium Leviosa.

Ron Weasley: Hey, pea brain!

Ahhh! Help!

Ron Weasley: Wingardium Leviosa! Cool.

Is it...dead?

Harry Potter: I don't think so. Just knocked out. Ew. Troll bogies. Minerva McGonagall: Oh! Oh, my goodness! E-Explain yourselves, both of you! Ron Weasley: Well, what it is... Harry Potter: Well, what it is...

It's my fault, Professor McGonagall.

Minerva McGonagall: Miss Granger?

I went looking for the troll. I'd read about them and thought I could handle it. But I was wrong. If Harry and Ron hadn't come and found me...I'd probably be dead.

Ron Weasley: Take a bit of toast, mate, go on.

Ron's right, Harry. You're gonna need your strength today.

Harry Potter: I'm not hungry. Severus Snape: Good luck today, Potter. Then again, now that you've proven yourself against a troll, a little game of Quidditch should be easy work for you...even if it is against Slytherin. Harry Potter: That explains the blood.

Blood?

Harry Potter: Listen, last night, I'm guessing Snape let the troll in as a diversion so he could try and get past that 3 headed dog. But, he got himself bitten, that's why he's limping.

But why would anyone go near that dog?

Harry Potter: The day I was at Gringotts, Hagrid took something out of one of the vaults. He said it was Hogwarts' business, very secret.

So you're saying...

Harry Potter: That's what the dog's guarding. That's what Snape wants.

Bit early for mail, isn't it?

Harry Potter: Whoa! Whooa! Rubeus Hagrid: What's going on with Harry's broomstick?

It's Snape! He's jinxing the broom!

Ron Weasley: Jinxing the broom? What do we do?

Leave it to me.

Ron Weasley: Come on, Hermione!

Lacarnum Inflamarae.

Rubeus Hagrid: Nonsense! Why would Snape put a curse on Harry’s broom? Harry Potter: Who knows? Why was he trying to get past that three-headed dog on Halloween? Rubeus Hagrid: Who told you ‘bout Fluffy? Ron Weasley: Fluffy?

That thing has a name?

Rubeus Hagrid: Well, of course he's got a name. He's mine. I bought him off an Irish feller I met down at the pub last year. Then I lent him to Dumbledore to guard the.. Harry Potter: Yes? Rubeus Hagrid: Shouldn’t have said that. No more questions! Don’t ask any more questions. That's top secret, that is. Harry Potter: But, Hagrid, whatever Fluffy's guarding, Snape's trying to steal it. Rubeus Hagrid: Codswallop. Professor Snape is a Hogwarts teacher.

Hogwarts teacher or not, I know a spell when I see one. I've read all about them. You've got to keep eye contact and Snape wasn't blinking.

Harry Potter: Exactly. Rubeus Hagrid: Now, you listen to me, all three of you. You're meddling in things that ought not to be meddled in. It's dangerous. What that dog is guarding is strictly between Dumbledore and Nicholas Flamel. Harry Potter: Nicholas Flamel? Rubeus Hagrid: I shouldn't said that. I should not have said that. Harry Potter: Nicholas Flamel. Who's Nicholas Flamel?

I don't know.

Ghosts: Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. Ring the Hogwart bell. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas... Harry Potter: Knight to E5. Ron Weasley: Queen to E5.

That's totally barbaric!

Ron Weasley: That's wizard's chess. I see you've packed.

See you haven't.

Ron Weasley: Change of plans, my parents decided to go to Romania to visit my brother Charlie. He's studying dragons there.

Good, you can help Harry, then. He's going to go and look in the library for information on Nicholas Flamel.

Ron Weasley: We've looked a hundred times.

Not in the restricted section. Happy Christmas.

Harry Potter: Hi, Hedwig.

Look at you playing with your cards. Pathetic! We've got final exams coming up soon.

Ron Weasley: I'm ready! Ask me any question.

All right, what are the three most crucial ingredients in a Forgetfulness Potion?

Ron Weasley: ...I forgot.

And what, may I ask, do you plan to do if this comes up in the final exam?

Ron Weasley: Copy off you?

No, you won't! Besides, according to Professor McGonagall, we're to be given special quills bewitched with an anti-cheating spell.

Neville Longbottom: Hey, wait, where are you going? What about the counter-curse?!

I had you looking in the wrong section! How could I be so stupid? I checked this out a few weeks ago for a bit of light reading.

Ron Weasley: This is light?

Of course! Here it is! "Nicholas Flamel is the only known maker of the Philosopher's Stone!"

Ron Weasley: The what? Harry Potter: The what?

Honestly, don't you two read? "The Philosopher's Stone is a legendary substance with astonishing powers. It will turn any metal into pure gold and produces the Elixir of Life, which will make the drinker immortal."

Ron Weasley: Immortal?

It means you'll never die.

Ron Weasley: I know what it means! Harry Potter: Shh!

"The only stone currently in existence belongs to Mr. Nicholas Flamel, the noted alchemist, who last year celebrated his 665th birthday!" That's what Fluffy's guarding on the 3rd floor. That's what's under the trapdoor...the Philosopher's Stone!

Harry Potter: Hagrid! Rubeus Hagrid: Oh, hello. Sorry, don't wish to be rude, but I'm in no fit state to entertain today.

We know about the Philosopher's Stone!

Rubeus Hagrid: That's right. Waste of bloody time, if you ask me. Ain't no one gonna get past Fluffy. Hehe, not a soul knows how. Except for me and Dumbledore. I shouldn't have told you that. I shouldn't have told you that. Oh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Harry Potter: Uh, Hagrid, what exactly is that? Rubeus Hagrid: That? It's a ... its um... Ron Weasley: I know what that is! But Hagrid, how did you get one? Rubeus Hagrid: I won it. Off a stranger I met down at a pub. Seemed quite glad to be rid off it, as a matter of fact.

Is that...a dragon?

Argus Filch: A pity they let the old punishments die. There was a time detention would find you hanging by your thumbs in the dungeons. God, I miss the screaming. You'll be serving detention with Hagrid tonight. He's got a little job to do inside the dark forest. A sorry lot this, Hagrid. Oh, good God, man, you're not still on about that bloody dragon, are you? Rubeus Hagrid: Norbert's gone. Dumbledore sent him off to Romania to live in a colony.

Well, that's good, isn't it? He'll be with his own kind.

Hermione Granger: You mean You-Know-Who's out there, right now, in the forest? Harry Potter: But he's weak. He's living off the unicorns. Don't you see? We had it wrong! Snape doesn't want the Stone for himself; he wants the Stone for Voldemort. With the Elixir of Life, Voldemort will be strong again. He'll... he'll come back. Ron Weasley: But, if he comes back, you don't think he'll try to... kill you, do you? Harry Potter: I think if he'd had the chance, he might've tried to kill me tonight. Ron Weasley: And to think I've been worrying about my Potions final.

Hang on a minute. We're forgetting one thing. Who's the one wizard Voldemort always feared? Dumbledore. As long as Dumbledore's around, Harry, you're safe. As long as Dumbledore's around, you can't be touched.

Hermione Granger: I've always heard Hogwarts' end of the year exams were frightful, but I found that rather enjoyable. Ron Weasley: Speak for yourself. All right there, Harry? Harry Potter: My scar. It keeps burning.

It's happened before.

Harry Potter: Not like this. Ron Weasley: Perhaps you should see the nurse. Harry Potter: I think it's a warning. It means dangers coming. Uhh! Oh. Of course!

What is it?

Severus Snape: Good afternoon. Now, what would three young Gryffindors such as yourselves be doing inside on a day like this?

Uh...we were just...

Severus Snape: You want to be careful. People will think you're up to something.

Now what do we do?

Ron Weasley: You're a little scary sometimes...you know that? Brilliant, but scary. Harry Potter: Let's go. Sorry.

Sorry.

Ron Weasley: It's for your own good, you know.

Ow! You stood on my foot!

Ron Weasley: Sorry.

Alohomora.

Ron Weasley: Ew! Yuck! Ugh. Harry Potter: Jump! Go! Ron Weasley: Ahh! Whoa. Lucky this plant-thing is here, really. Harry Potter: Whoa! Oh. Ahh!

Stop moving, both of you. This is Devil's Snare. You have to relax. If you don't, it will only kill you faster.

Ron Weasley: Kill us faster?! Oh, now I can relax! Ron Weasley: Hermione!! Harry Potter: Hermione!! Ron Weasley: Now what are we gonna do?!

Just relax!

Harry Potter: Hermione! Where are you?!

Do what I say. Trust me.

Ron Weasley: Ahh! Harry! Ron Weasley: Harry!

Are you okay?

Harry Potter: Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. Ron Weasley: Help!

He's not relaxing, is he?

Harry Potter: Apparently not. Ron Weasley: Help! Help me!

We've got to do something!

Harry Potter: What?

Uh! I remember reading something in Herbology.

Ron Weasley: Help!

Um Devil's Snare, Devil's Scare, it's deadly fun...but will sulk in the sun! That's it! Devil's Snare hates sunlight! Lumus Solem!

Harry Potter: I don't know. Sounds like wings.

Curious. I've never seen birds like these.

Harry Potter: They're not birds, they're keys. And I'll bet one of them fits that door.

What's this all about?

Harry Potter: I don't know. Strange. Ron Weasley: Alohomora! Well, it was worth a try.

Ugh! What're we going to do? There must be 1000 keys up there!

Ron Weasley: We're looking for a big old fashioned one. Probably rusty like the handle. Harry Potter: There! I see it! The one with the broken wing!

What's wrong, Harry?

Hermione Granger: I don't like this. I don't like this at all. Harry Potter: Where are we? A graveyard. Ron Weasley: This is no graveyard. It's a chessboard. Harry Potter: There's the door.

Now what do we do?

Ron Weasley: It's obvious, isn't it? We've got to play our way across the room. All right. Harry, you take the Bishop's square. Hermione, you'll be the Queen's side castle. As for me, I'll be a knight.

What happens now?

Ron Weasley: Well, white moves first, and then...we play.

Ron, you don't suppose this is going to be like...real wizard's chess, do you?

Ron Weasley: Castle to E-4! Smash! Ron: Pawn to C-3! Smash! Boom! The Queen turns, and smashes a piece! Harry, Ron and Hermione wince. The Queen turns again. Both Ron and Harry study the game. Harry Potter: Wait a minute. Ron Weasley: You understand right, Harry. Once I make my move, the Queen will take me...then you'll be free to check the King. Harry Potter: No, Ron! No!

What is it?

Harry Potter: He's going to sacrifice himself!

No, Ron, you can't! There must be another way!

Ron Weasley: Do you want to stop Snape or not? Harry, it's you that has to go on. I know it. Not me, not Hermione, you. Knight...to H-3. Ron Weasley: Check. Ron Weasley: Ahhhh! Harry Potter: RON! NO! Don't move! Dont forget, we're still playing. Checkmate. Take care of Ron. Then, go to the owlery. Send a message to Dumbledore. Ron's right...I have to go on.

You'll be okay, Harry. You're a great wizard, you really are.

Harry Potter: Not as good as you.

Me? Books and cleverness? There are more important things. Friendship, and bravery. And Harry, just be careful.

Albus Dumbledore: Another year, gone! And now, as I understand it, the house cup needs awarded and the points stand thus. In fourth place: Gryffindor, with 312 points! In third place: Hufflepuff, with 352 points! Second: Ravenclaw, with 426 points! And in first place, with 472 points: Slytherin house! Yes, well done Slytherin, well done Slytherin. However, recent events must be taken into account and I have a few last minute points to award. First, to Miss Hermione Granger, for the cool use of intellect while others were in grave peril: fifty points! Second, to Mr Ronald Weasley, for the best played game of chess that Hogwarts has seen these many years: fifty points! And third, to mister Harry Potter, for pure love and outstanding courage, I award Gryffindor house: sixty points!

We're tied with Slytherin!

Rubeus Hagrid: Come on now, hurry up. You'll be late. Train's leaving. Go on. Go on. Come on. Hurry up.

Come on, Harry.

Rubeus Hagrid: Hello, Hermione!

Oh, it's so good to see you!

Harry Potter: Well, it's great to see you, too!

What did you do to your glasses? Oculus reparo.

Harry Potter: I definitely need to remember that one. Rubeus Hagrid: You'll be all right now then, Harry? Right. I'll leave you to it, then.

Ok! Bye!

Harry Potter: Thank you. Bye.

Come on! Everyone's been so worried.

Pomona Sprout: Morning, everyone! Good morning, everyone! All: Good morning, Professor Sprout! Pomona Sprout: Welcome to Greenhouse Three, Second Years. Now, gather around, everyone. Today, we are going to repot Mandrakes. Who here can tell me the properties of the Mandrake root? Yes, Miss Granger.

Mandrake, or Mandragora, is used to return those who have been Petrified to their original state. It's also quite dangerous. The Mandrake's cry is fatal to anyone who hears it.

Draco Malfoy: No one asked your opinion, you filthy little Mudblood! Ron Weasley: You'll pay for that one, Malfoy. Eat slugs! Students: Ha, ha, ha! Draco Malfoy: Ha, ha!

You okay, Ron? Say something!

Rubeus Hagrid: He did not! Harry Potter: What's a Mudblood?

It means “dirty blood.” Mudblood's a really foul name for someone who is Muggle-born. Someone with non-magic parents. Someone like me. It's not a term one usually hears in civilized conversation.

Hermione Granger: Harry! Harry Potter: Did you hear it? Ron Weasley: Hear what? Harry Potter: That voice.

Voice? What voice?

Harry Potter: I heard it first in Lockhart's office. And then again just— Basilisk: It's time. Harry Potter: It's moving. I think it's going to kill. Ron Weasley: Kill?

Harry, wait! Not so fast!

Harry Potter: Strange. I've never seen spiders act like that. Ron Weasley: I don't like spiders… What's that?

The Chamber of Secrets has been opened… enemies the heir… beware.' It's written in blood.

Severus Snape: Yes, Miss Granger? Harry Potter: When I said I wasn't hungry. We were heading back to the common room when we found Mrs. Norris. Albus Dumbledore: Innocent until proven guilty, Severus. Argus Filch: My cat has been Petrified. I wanna see some punishment! Albus Dumbledore: We will be able to cure her, Argus. As I understand it, Madame Sprout has a very healthy growth of Mandrakes. When matured, a potion will be made which will revive Mrs. Norris. And in the meantime, I strongly recommend caution… to all.

It's a bit strange, isn't it?

Harry Potter: Strange?

You hear this voice, a voice only you can hear, and then Mrs. Norris turns up Petrified. It's just… strange.

Harry Potter: Do you think I should have told them? Dumbledore and the others, I mean? Ron Weasley: Are you mad?

No, Harry. Even in the wizarding world, hearing voices isn't a good sign.

Minerva McGonagall: Could I have your attention, please? Right. Now, today, we will be transforming animals into water goblets. Like so. One, two, three, Vera verto. Now it's your turn. Well, who would like to go first? Ah! Mr. Weasley. “One, two, three. Vera verto.” Ron Weasley: Ahem. Vera verto! Students: Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha… Minerva McGonagall: That wand needs replacing, Mr. Weasley. Yes, Miss Granger?

Professor, I was wondering if you could tell us about…the Chamber of Secrets?

Minerva McGonagall: Well, very well. Well, you all know, of course, that Hogwarts was founded over a thousand years ago by the four greatest witches and wizards of the age: Godric Gryffindor, Helga Hufflepuff, Rowena Ravenclaw, and Salazar Slytherin. Now, three of the founders coexisted quite harmoniously. One did not. Ron Weasley: Three guesses who. Minerva McGonagall: Salazar Slytherin wished to be more selective about the students admitted to Hogwarts. He believed magical learning should be kept within all-magic families. In other words, “pure-bloods.” Unable to sway the others, he decided to leave the school. Now, according to legend, Slytherin had built a hidden chamber in this castle, known as the Chamber of Secrets. Though, shortly before departing, he sealed it until that time when his own true heir returned to the school. The heir alone would be able to open the Chamber and unleash the horror within, and by so doing purge the school of all those who, in Slytherin's view, were unworthy to study magic.

Muggle-borns.

Minerva McGonagall: Well, naturally, the school had been searched many times. No such chamber has been found.

Professor? What exactly does legend tell us lies within the Chamber?

Minerva McGonagall: Well, the Chamber is said to home to something that only the Heir of Slytherin can control. It is said to be the home of a monster. Ron Weasley: D'you think it's true? D'you think there really is a Chamber of Secrets?

Yes. Couldn't you tell? McGonagall's worried. All the teachers are.

Harry Potter: Well, if there really is a Chamber of Secrets, a-and it really has been opened, then that means---

The Heir of Slytherin has returned to Hogwarts. The question is, who is it?

Ron Weasley: Let's think. Who do we know who thinks all Muggle-borns are scum?

If you're talking about Malfoy.

Ron Weasley: Of course. You heard him! 'You'll be next Mudbloods,'

I heard him. But Malfoy, the Heir of Slytherin?

Harry Potter: Well, maybe Ron's right, Hermione. I mean, look at his family. The whole lot of them have been in Slytherin for centuries. Ron Weasley: Crabbe and Goyle must know. Maybe we could trick them into telling.

Even they aren't that thick. But there might be another way. Mind you, it would be difficult. Not to mention, we would be breaking about fifty school rules. And, it'll be dangerous. Very dangerous.

Hermione Granger: Here it is. 'The Polyjuice Potion.' 'Properly brewed, the Polyjuice Potion allows the drinker to transform himself temporarily into the physical form of another.' Ron Weasley: Do you mean, if Harry and I drink that stuff, we'll turn into Crabbe and Goyle?

Yes.

Ron Weasley: Wicked! Malfoy'll tell us anything.

Exactly. But it's tricky. I've never seen a more complicated potion.

Harry Potter: Well, how long will it take to make?

A month.

Harry Potter: A month? But, Hermione, if Malfoy is the Heir of Slytherin, he could attack half the Muggle-borns in the school by then.

I know. But it's the only plan we've got.

Draco Malfoy: Training for the ballet, Potter? Draco Malfoy: You'll never catch me, Potter!

Let's go.

Lee Jordan: Harry Potter has caught the Snitch! Gryffindor wins!

Finite incantatem!