Spaces:
Sleeping
Sleeping
EIGHT THINGS THIS BOOK WILL | |
HELP YOU ACHIEVE | |
1. Get out of a mental rut, think new thoughts, acquire new visions, discover new | |
ambitions. | |
2. Make friends quickly and easily. | |
3. Increase your popularity. | |
4. Win people to your way of thinking. | |
5. Increase your influence, your prestige, your ability to get things done. | |
2 | |
6. Handle complaints, avoid arguments, keep your human contacts smooth and | |
pleasant. | |
7. Become a better speaker, a more entertaining conversationalist. | |
8. Arouse enthusiasm among your associates. | |
This book has done all these things for more than fifteen million readers in thirtysix languages. | |
TABLE OF CONTENTS | |
A Biographical Sketch of Dale Carnegie........................................................................... 5 | |
How This Book Was Written And Why........................................................................... 15 | |
Nine Suggestions on How to Get the Most Out of This Book............................................ 21 | |
PART ONE: Fundamental Techniques in Handling People............................................ 25 | |
1 - IF YOU WANT TO GATHER HONEY, DON’T KICK OVER THE BEEHIVE..... 25 | |
2 - THE BIG SECRET OF DEALING WITH PEOPLE.................................................. 37 | |
3 - HE WHO CAN DO THIS HAS THE WHOLE WORLD WITH HIM...................... 48 | |
PART TWO: Ways to Make People Like You............................................................... 65 | |
1 - DO THIS AND YOU’LL BE WELCOME ANYWHERE......................................... 65 | |
2 - A SIMPLE WAY TO MAKE A GOOD FIRST IMPRESSION............................... 75 | |
3 - IF YOU DON’T DO THIS, YOU ARE HEADED FOR TROUBLE......................... 82 | |
4 - AN EASY WAY TO BECOME A GOOD CONVERSATIONALIST..................... 89 | |
5 - HOW TO INTEREST PEOPLE................................................................................ 97 | |
6 - HOW TO MAKE PEOPLE LIKE YOU INSTANTLY............................................. 101 | |
PART THREE: How to Win People to Your Way of Thinking....................................... 112 | |
1 - YOU CAN’T WIN AN ARGUMENT...................................................................... 112 | |
2 - A SURE WAY OF MAKING ENEMIES—AND HOW TO AVOID IT................... 118 | |
3 - IF YOU’RE WRONG, ADMIT IT............................................................................ 127 | |
4 - A DROP OF HONEY............................................................................................... 134 | |
5 - THE SECRET OF SOCRATES................................................................................ 141 | |
6 - THE SAFETY VALVE IN HANDLING COMPLAINTS......................................... 146 | |
7 - HOW TO GET COOPERATION............................................................................. 150 | |
8 - A FORMULA THAT WILL WORK WONDERS FOR YOU.................................. 155 | |
9 - WHAT EVERYBODY WANTS.............................................................................. 159 | |
3 | |
10 - AN APPEAL THAT EVERYBODY LIKES........................................................... 166 | |
11 - THE MOVIES DO IT. TV DOES IT....WHY DON’T YOU DO IT?...................... 171 | |
12 - WHEN NOTHING ELSE WORKS, TRY THIS..................................................... 175 | |
PART FOUR: How to Change People Without Giving Offense..................................... 179 | |
1 - IF YOU MUST FIND FAULT, THIS IS THE WAY TO BEGIN............................. 179 | |
2 - HOW TO CRITICIZE....AND NOT BE HATED FOR IT........................................ 184 | |
3 - TALK ABOUT YOUR OWN MISTAKES FIRST................................................... 187 | |
4 - NO ONE LIKES TO TAKE ORDERS..................................................................... 191 | |
5 - LET THE OTHER PERSON SAVE FACE............................................................... 193 | |
6 - HOW TO SPUR PEOPLE ON TO SUCCESS......................................................... 196 | |
7 - GIVE A DOG A GOOD NAME............................................................................... 200 | |
8 - MAKE THE FAULT SEEM EASY TO CORRECT.................................................. 204 | |
9 - MAKING PEOPLE GLAD TO DO WHAT YOU WANT....................................... 208 | |
4 | |
A Shortcut to Distinction - A Biographical Sketch of Dale Carnegie | |
by Lowell Thomas | |
It was a cold January night in 1935, but the weather couldn’t keep them away. Two | |
thousand five hundred men and women thronged into the grand ballroom of the | |
Hotel Pennsylvania in New York. Every available seat was filled by half-past | |
seven. At eight o’clock, the eager crowd was still pouring in. The spacious balcony | |
was soon jammed. Presently even standing space was at a premium, and hundreds | |
of people, tired after navigating a day in business, stood up for an hour and a half | |
that night to witness - what? | |
A fashion show? | |
A six-day bicycle race or a personal appearance by Clark Gable? | |
No. These people had been lured there by a newspaper ad. Two evenings | |
previously, they had seen this full-page announcement in the New York Sun staring | |
them in the face: | |
Learn to Speak Effectively | |
Prepare for Leadership | |
Old stuff? Yes, but believe it or not, in the most sophisticated town on earth, during | |
a depression with 20 percent of the population on relief, twenty-five hundred people | |
had left their homes and hustled to the hotel in response to that ad. | |
The people who responded were of the upper economic strata - executives, | |
employers and professionals. | |
These men and women had come to hear the opening gun of an ultramodern, | |
ultrapractical course in “Effective Speaking and Influencing Men in Business”- a | |
course given by the Dale Carnegie Institute of Effective Speaking and Human | |
Relations. | |
Why were they there, these twenty-five hundred business men and women? | |
Because of a sudden hunger for more education because of the depression? | |
5 | |
Apparently not, for this same course had been playing to packed houses in New | |
York City every season for the preceding twenty-four years. During that time, more | |
than fifteen thousand business and professional people had been trained by Dale | |
Carnegie. Even large, skeptical, conservative organizations such as the | |
Westinghouse Electric Company, the McGraw-Hill Publishing Company, the | |
Brooklyn Union Gas Company, the Brooklyn Chamber of Commerce, the | |
American Institute of Electrical Engineers and the New York Telephone | |
Company have had this training conducted in their own offices for the benefit of | |
their members and executives. | |
The fact that these people, ten or twenty years after leaving grade school, high | |
school or college, come and take this training is a glaring commentary on the | |
shocking deficiencies of our educational system. | |
What do adults really want to study? That is an important question; and in order to | |
answer it, the University of Chicago, the American Association for Adult | |
Education, and the United Y.M.C.A. Schools made a survey over a two-year period. | |
That survey revealed that the prime interest of adults is health. It also revealed that | |
their second interest is in developing skill in human relationships - they want to | |
learn the technique of getting along with and influencing other people. They don’t | |
want to become public speakers, and they don’t want to listen to a lot of high | |
sounding talk about psychology; they want suggestions they can use immediately in | |
business, in social contacts and in the home. | |
So that was what adults wanted to study, was it? | |
“All right,” said the people making the survey. "Fine. If that is what they want, | |
we’ll give it to them.” | |
Looking around for a textbook, they discovered that no working manual had ever | |
been written to help people solve their daily problems in human relationships. | |
Here was a fine kettle of fish! For hundreds of years, learned volumes had been | |
written on Greek and Latin and higher mathematics - topics about which the | |
average adult doesn’t give two hoots. But on the one subject on which he has a | |
thirst for knowledge, a veritable passion for guidance and help - nothing! | |
This explained the presence of twenty-five hundred eager adults crowding into the | |
6 | |
grand ballroom of the Hotel Pennsylvania in response to a newspaper | |
advertisement. Here, apparently, at last was the thing for which they had long been | |
seeking. | |
Back in high school and college, they had pored over books, believing that | |
knowledge alone was the open sesame to financial - and professional rewards. | |
But a few years in the rough-and-tumble of business and professional life had | |
brought sharp disillusionment. They had seen some of the most important business | |
successes won by men who possessed, in addition to their knowledge, the ability to | |
talk well, to win people to their way of thinking, and to "sell" themselves and their | |
ideas. | |
They soon discovered that if one aspired to wear the captain’s cap and navigate the | |
ship of business, personality and the ability to talk are more important than a | |
knowledge of Latin verbs or a sheepskin from Harvard. | |
The advertisement in the New York Sun promised that the meeting would be highly | |
entertaining. It was. Eighteen people who had taken the course were marshaled in | |
front of the loudspeaker - and fifteen of them were given precisely seventy-five | |
seconds each to tell his or her story. Only seventy-five seconds of talk, then “bang” | |
went the gavel, and the chairman shouted, “Time! Next speaker!” | |
The affair moved with the speed of a herd of buffalo thundering across the plains. | |
Spectators stood for an hour and a half to watch the performance. | |
The speakers were a cross section of life: several sales representatives, a chain store | |
executive, a baker, the president of a trade association, two bankers, an insurance | |
agent, an accountant, a dentist, an architect, a druggist who had come from | |
Indianapolis to New York to take the course, a lawyer who had come from Havana | |
in order to prepare himself to give one important three-minute speech. | |
The first speaker bore the Gaelic name Patrick J. O'Haire. Born in Ireland, he | |
attended school for only four years, drifted to America, worked as a mechanic, then | |
as a chauffeur. | |
Now, however, he was forty, he had a growing family and needed more money, so | |
he tried selling trucks. Suffering from an inferiority complex that, as he put it, was | |
eating his heart out, he had to walk up and down in front of an office half a dozen | |
7 | |
times before he could summon up enough courage to open the door. He was so | |
discouraged as a salesman that he was thinking of going back to working with his | |
hands in a machine shop, when one day he received a letter inviting him to an | |
organization meeting of the Dale Carnegie Course in Effective Speaking. | |
He didn’t want to attend. He feared he would have to associate with a lot of college | |
graduates, that he would be out of place. | |
His despairing wife insisted that he go, saying, “It may do you some good, Pat. God | |
knows you need it.” He went down to the place where the meeting was to be held | |
and stood on the sidewalk for five minutes before he could generate enough selfconfidence to enter the | |
room. | |
The first few times he tried to speak in front of the others, he was dizzy with fear. | |
But as the weeks drifted by, he lost all fear of audiences and soon found that he | |
loved to talk - the bigger the crowd, the better. And he also lost his fear of | |
individuals and of his superiors. He presented his ideas to them, and soon he had | |
been advanced into the sales department. He had become a valued and much liked | |
member of his company. This night, in the Hotel Pennsylvania, Patrick O'Haire | |
stood in front of twenty-five hundred people and told a gay, rollicking story of his | |
achievements. Wave after wave of laughter swept over the audience. Few | |
professional speakers could have equaled his performance. | |
The next speaker, Godfrey Meyer, was a gray-headed banker, the father of eleven | |
children. The first time he had attempted to speak in class, he was literally struck | |
dumb. His mind refused to function. His story is a vivid illustration of how | |
leadership gravitates to the person who can talk. | |
He worked on Wall Street, and for twenty-five years he had been living in Clifton, | |
New Jersey. During that time, he had taken no active part in community affairs and | |
knew perhaps five hundred people. | |
Shortly after he had enrolled in the Carnegie course, he received his tax bill and was | |
infuriated by what he considered unjust charges. Ordinarily, he would have sat at | |
home and fumed, or he would have taken it out in grousing to his neighbors. But | |
instead, he put on his hat that night, walked into the town meeting, and blew off | |
steam in public. | |
8 | |
As a result of that talk of indignation, the citizens of Clifton, New Jersey, urged him | |
to run for the town council. So for weeks he went from one meeting to another, | |
denouncing waste and municipal extravagance. | |
There were ninety-six candidates in the field. When the ballots were counted, lo, | |
Godfrey Meyer’s name led all the rest. Almost overnight, he had become a public | |
figure among the forty thousand people in his community. As a result of his talks, | |
he made eighty times more friends in six weeks than he had been able to previously | |
in twenty-five years. | |
And his salary as councilman meant that he got a return of 1,000 percent a year on | |
his investment in the Carnegie course. | |
The third speaker, the head of a large national association of food manufacturers, | |
told how he had been unable to stand up and express his ideas at meetings of a | |
board of directors. | |
As a result of learning to think on his feet, two astonishing things happened. He was | |
soon made president of his association, and in that capacity, he was obliged to | |
address meetings all over the United States. Excerpts from his talks were put on the | |
Associated Press wires and printed in newspapers and trade magazines throughout | |
the country. | |
In two years, after learning to speak more effectively, he received more free | |
publicity for his company and its products than he had been able to get previously | |
with a quarter of a million dollars spent in direct advertising. This speaker admitted | |
that he had formerly hesitated to telephone some of the more important business | |
executives in Manhattan and invite them to lunch with him. But as a result of the | |
prestige he had acquired by his talks, these same people telephoned him and invited | |
him to lunch and apologized to him for encroaching on his time. | |
The ability to speak is a shortcut to distinction. It puts a person in the limelight, | |
raises one head and shoulders above the crowd. And the person who can speak | |
acceptably is usually given credit for an ability out of all proportion to what he or | |
she really possesses. | |
A movement for adult education has been sweeping over the nation; and the most | |
spectacular force in that movement was Dale Carnegie, a man who listened to and | |
critiqued more talks by adults than has any other man in captivity. According to a | |
9 | |
cartoon by "Believe-It-or- Not” Ripley, he had criticized 150,000 speeches. If that | |
grand total doesn’t impress you, remember that it meant one talk for almost every | |
day that has passed since Columbus discovered America. Or, to put it in other | |
words, if all the people who had spoken before him had used only three minutes and | |
had appeared before him in succession, it would have taken ten months, listening | |
day and night, to hear them all. | |
Dale Carnegie’s own career, filled with sharp contrasts, was a striking example of | |
what a person can accomplish when obsessed with an original idea and afire with | |
enthusiasm. | |
Born on a Missouri farm ten miles from a railway, he never saw a streetcar until he | |
was twelve years old; yet by the time he was forty-six, he was familiar with the farflung corners of the earth, everywhere from Hong Kong to Hammerfest; and, at one | |
time, he approached closer to the North Pole than Admiral Byrd’s headquarters at | |
Little America was to the South Pole. | |
This Missouri lad who had once picked strawberries and cut cockleburs for five | |
cents an hour became the highly paid trainer of the executives of large corporations | |
in the art of self-expression. | |
This erstwhile cowboy who had once punched cattle and branded calves and ridden | |
fences out in western South Dakota later went to London to put on shows under the | |
patronage of the royal family. | |
This chap who was a total failure the first half-dozen times he tried to speak in | |
public later became my personal manager. Much of my success has been due to | |
training under Dale Carnegie. | |
Young Carnegie had to struggle for an education, for hard luck was always | |
battering away at the old farm in northwest Missouri with a flying tackle and a body | |
slam. Year after year, the “102” River rose and drowned the corn and swept away | |
the hay. Season after season, the fat hogs sickened and died from cholera, the | |
bottom fell out of the market for cattle and mules, and the bank threatened to | |
foreclose the mortgage. | |
Sick with discouragement, the family sold out and bought another farm near the | |
State Teachers’ College at Warrensburg, Missouri. Board and room could be had in | |
town for a dollar a day, but young Carnegie couldn’t afford it. So he stayed on the | |
10 | |
farm and commuted on horseback three miles to college each day. At home, he | |
milked the cows, cut the wood, fed the hogs, and studied his Latin verbs by the light | |
of a coal-oil lamp until his eyes blurred and he began to nod. | |
Even when he got to bed at midnight, he set the alarm for three o’clock. His father | |
bred pedigreed Duroc-Jersey hogs - and there was danger, during the bitter cold | |
nights, that the young pigs would freeze to death; so they were put in a basket, | |
covered with a gunny sack, and set behind the kitchen stove. True to their nature, | |
the pigs demanded a hot meal at 3 A.M. So when the alarm went off, Dale Carnegie | |
crawled out of the blankets, took the basket of pigs out to their mother, waited for | |
them to nurse, and then brought them back to the warmth of the kitchen stove. | |
There were six hundred students in State Teachers’ College, and Dale Carnegie was | |
one of the isolated half-dozen who couldn’t afford to board in town. He was | |
ashamed of the poverty that made it necessary for him to ride back to the farm and | |
milk the cows every night. He was ashamed of his coat, which was too tight, and his | |
trousers, which were too short. Rapidly developing an inferiority complex, he | |
looked about for some shortcut to distinction. He soon saw that there were certain | |
groups in college that enjoyed influence and prestige - the football and baseball | |
players and the chaps who won the debating and public-speaking contests. | |
Realizing that he had no flair for athletics, he decided to win one of the speaking | |
contests. He spent months preparing his talks. He practiced as he sat in the saddle | |
galloping to college and back; he practiced his speeches as he milked the cows; and | |
then he mounted a bale of hay in the barn and with great gusto and gestures | |
harangued the frightened pigeons about the issues of the day. | |
But in spite of all his earnestness and preparation, he met with defeat after defeat. | |
He was eighteen at the time - sensitive and proud. He became so discouraged, so | |
depressed, that he even thought of suicide. And then suddenly he began to win, not | |
one contest, but every speaking contest in college. | |
Other students pleaded with him to train them; and they won also. | |
After graduating from college, he started selling correspondence courses to the | |
ranchers among the sand hills of western Nebraska and eastern Wyoming. In spite | |
of all his boundless energy and enthusiasm, he couldn’t make the grade. He became | |
so discouraged that he went to his hotel room in Alliance, Nebraska, in the middle | |
of the day, threw himself across the bed, and wept in despair. He longed to go back | |
11 | |
to college, he longed to retreat from the harsh battle of life; but he couldn’t. So he | |
resolved to go to Omaha and get another job. He didn’t have the money for a | |
railroad ticket, so he traveled on a freight train, feeding and watering two carloads | |
of wild horses in return for his passage, After landing in south Omaha, he got a job | |
selling bacon and soap and lard for Armour and Company. His territory was up | |
among the Badlands and the cow and Indian country of western South Dakota. He | |
covered his territory by freight train and stage coach and horseback and slept in | |
pioneer hotels where the only partition between the rooms was a sheet of muslin. | |
He studied books on salesmanship, rode bucking bronchos, played poker with the | |
Indians, and learned how to collect money. And when, for example, an inland | |
storekeeper couldn’t pay cash for the bacon and hams he had ordered, Dale | |
Carnegie would take a dozen pairs of shoes off his shelf, sell the shoes to the | |
railroad men, and forward the receipts to Armour and Company. | |
He would often ride a freight train a hundred miles a day. When the train stopped to | |
unload freight, he would dash uptown, see three or four merchants, get his orders; | |
and when the whistle blew, he would dash down the street again lickety-split and | |
swing onto the train while it was moving. | |
Within two years, he had taken an unproductive territory that had stood in the | |
twenty-fifth place and had boosted it to first place among all the twenty-nine car | |
routes leading out of south Omaha. Armour and Company offered to promote him, | |
saying: “You have achieved what seemed impossible.” But he refused the | |
promotion and resigned, went to New York, studied at the American Academy of | |
Dramatic Arts, and toured the country, playing the role of Dr. Hartley in Polly of | |
the Circus. | |
He would never be a Booth or a Barrymore. He had the good sense to recognize | |
that, So back he went to sales work, selling automobiles and trucks for the Packard | |
Motor Car Company. | |
He knew nothing about machinery and cared nothing about it. Dreadfully unhappy, | |
he had to scourge himself to his task each day. He longed to have time to study, to | |
write the books he had dreamed about writing back in college. So he resigned. He | |
was going to spend his days writing stories and novels and support himself by | |
teaching in a night school. | |
Teaching what? As he looked back and evaluated his college work, he saw that his | |
training in public speaking had done more to give him confidence, courage, poise | |
12 | |
and the ability to meet and deal with people in business than had all the rest of his | |
college courses put together, so he urged the Y.M.C.A. schools in New York to give | |
him a chance to conduct courses in public speaking for people in business. | |
What? Make orators out of business people? Absurd. The Y.M.C.A. people knew. | |
They had tried such courses - and they had always failed. When they refused to pay | |
him a salary of two dollars a night, he agreed to teach on a commission basis and | |
take a percentage of the net profits - if there were any profits to take. And inside of | |
three years they were paying him thirty dollars a night on that basis - instead of two. | |
The course grew. Other "Ys" heard of it, then other cities. Dale Carnegie soon | |
became a glorified circuit rider covering New York, Philadelphia, Baltimore and | |
later London and Paris. All the textbooks were too academic and impractical for the | |
business people who flocked to his courses. Because of this he wrote his own book | |
entitled Public Speaking and Influencing Men in Business. It became the official | |
text of all the Y.M.C.A.s as well as of the American Bankers’ Association and the | |
National Credit Men’s Association. | |
Dale Carnegie claimed that all people can talk when they get mad. He said that if | |
you hit the most ignorant man in town on the jaw and knock him down, he would | |
get on his feet and talk with an eloquence, heat and emphasis that would have | |
rivaled that world famous orator William Jennings Bryan at the height of his career. | |
He claimed that almost any person can speak acceptably in public if he or she has | |
self-confidence and an idea that is boiling and stewing within. | |
The way to develop self-confidence, he said, is to do the thing you fear to do and | |
get a record of successful experiences behind you. So he forced each class member | |
to talk at every session of the course. The audience is sympathetic. They are all in | |
the same boat; and, by constant practice, they develop a courage, confidence and | |
enthusiasm that carry over into their private speaking. | |
Dale Carnegie would tell you that he made a living all these years, not by teaching | |
public speaking - that was incidental. His main job was to help people conquer their | |
fears and develop courage. | |
He started out at first to conduct merely a course in public speaking, but the | |
students who came were business men and women. Many of them hadn’t seen the | |
inside of a classroom in thirty years. Most of them were paying their tuition on the | |
installment plan. They wanted results and they wanted them quick - results that they | |
13 | |
could use the next day in business interviews and in speaking before groups. | |
So he was forced to be swift and practical. Consequently, he developed a system of | |
training that is unique - a striking combination of public speaking, salesmanship, | |
human relations and applied psychology. | |
A slave to no hard-and-fast rules, he developed a course that is as real as the | |
measles and twice as much fun. | |
When the classes terminated, the graduates formed clubs of their own and continued | |
to meet fortnightly for years afterward. One group of nineteen in Philadelphia met | |
twice a month during the winter season for seventeen years. Class members | |
frequently travel fifty or a hundred miles to attend classes. One student used to | |
commute each week from Chicago to New York. Professor William James of | |
Harvard used to say that the average person develops only 10 percent of his latent | |
mental ability. Dale Carnegie, by helping business men and women to develop their | |
latent possibilities, created one of the most significant movements in adult | |
education | |
LOWELL THOMAS | |
1936 | |
14 | |
How This Book Was Written And Why | |
by Dale Carnegie | |
During the first thirty-five years of the twentieth century, the publishing houses of | |
America printed more than a fifth of a million different books. Most of them were | |
deadly dull, and many were financial failures. “Many,” did I say? The president of | |
one of the largest publishing houses in the world confessed to me that his company, | |
after seventy-five years of publishing experience, still lost money on seven out of | |
every eight books it published. | |
Why, then, did I have the temerity to write another book? And, after I had written it, | |
why should you bother to read it? | |
Fair questions, both; and I'll try to answer them. | |
I have, since 1912, been conducting educational courses for business and | |
professional men and women in New York. At first, I conducted courses in public | |
speaking only - courses designed to train adults, by actual experience, to think on | |
their feet and express their ideas with more clarity, more effectiveness and more | |
poise, both in business interviews and before groups. | |
But gradually, as the seasons passed, I realized that as sorely as these adults needed | |
training in effective speaking, they needed still more training in the fine art of | |
getting along with people in everyday business and social contacts. | |
I also gradually realized that I was sorely in need of such training myself. As I look | |
back across the years, I am appalled at my own frequent lack of finesse and | |
understanding. How I wish a book such as this had been placed in my hands twenty | |
years ago! What a priceless boon it would have been. | |
Dealing with people is probably the biggest problem you face, especially if you are | |
in business. Yes, and that is also true if you are a housewife, architect or engineer. | |
Research done a few years ago under the auspices of the Carnegie Foundation for | |
the Advancement of Teaching uncovered a most important and significant fact - a | |
fact later confirmed by additional studies made at the Carnegie Institute of | |
Technology. These investigations revealed that even in such technical lines as | |
engineering, about 15 percent of one's financial success is due to one’s technical | |
knowledge and about 85 percent is due to skill in human engineering-to personality | |
and the ability to lead people. | |
15 | |
For many years, I conducted courses each season at the Engineers’ Club of | |
Philadelphia, and also courses for the New York Chapter of the American Institute | |
of Electrical Engineers. A total of probably more than fifteen hundred engineers | |
have passed through my classes. They came to me because they had finally realized, | |
after years of observation and experience, that the highest-paid personnel in | |
engineering are frequently not those who know the most about engineering. One | |
can for example, hire mere technical ability in engineering, accountancy, | |
architecture or any other profession at nominal salaries. But the person who has | |
technical knowledge plus the ability to express ideas, to assume leadership, and to | |
arouse enthusiasm among people-that person is headed for higher earning power. | |
In the heyday of his activity, John D. Rockefeller said that “the ability to deal with | |
people is as purchasable a commodity as sugar or coffee.” “And I will pay more for | |
that ability,” said John D., “than for any other under the sun.” | |
Wouldn’t you suppose that every college in the land would conduct courses to | |
develop the highest-priced ability under the sun? But if there is just one practical, | |
common-sense course of that kind given for adults in even one college in the land, | |
it has escaped my attention up to the present writing. | |
The University of Chicago and the United Y.M.C.A. Schools conducted a survey to | |
determine what adults want to study. | |
That survey cost $25,000 and took two years. The last part of the survey was made | |
in Meriden, Connecticut. It had been chosen as a typical American town. Every | |
adult in Meriden was interviewed and requested to answer 156 questions— | |
questions such as “What is your business or profession? Your education? How do | |
you spend your spare time? What is your income? Your hobbies? Your ambitions? | |
Your problems? What subjects are you most interested in studying?” And so on. | |
That survey revealed that health is the prime interest of adults and that their second | |
interest is people; how to understand and get along with people; how to make | |
people like you; and how to win others to your way of thinking. | |
So the committee conducting this survey resolved to conduct such a course for | |
adults in Meriden. They searched diligently for a practical textbook on the subject | |
and found-not one. Finally they approached one of the world’s outstanding | |
authorities on adult education and asked him if he knew of any book that met the | |
needs of this group. “No,” he replied, "I know what those adults want. But the book | |
16 | |
they need has never been written.” | |
I knew from experience that this statement was true, for I myself had been | |
searching for years to discover a practical, working handbook on human relations. | |
Since no such book existed, I have tried to write one for use in my own courses. | |
And here it is. I hope you like it. | |
In preparation for this book, I read everything that I could find on the subject— | |
everything from newspaper columns, magazine articles, records of the family | |
courts, the writings of the old philosophers and the new psychologists. In addition, I | |
hired a trained researcher to spend one and a half years in various libraries reading | |
everything I had missed, plowing through erudite tomes on psychology, poring over | |
hundreds of magazine articles, searching through countless biographies, trying to | |
ascertain how the great leaders of all ages had dealt with people. We read their | |
biographies, We read the life stories of all great leaders from Julius Caesar to | |
Thomas Edison. I recall that we read over one hundred biographies of Theodore | |
Roosevelt alone. We were determined to spare no time, no expense, to discover | |
every practical idea that anyone had ever used throughout the ages for winning | |
friends and influencing people. | |
I personally interviewed scores of successful people, some of them world-famousinventors like Marconi and Edison; political leaders like Franklin D. Roosevelt and | |
James Farley; business leaders like Owen D. Young; movie stars like Clark Gable | |
and Mary Pickford; and explorers like Martin Johnson—and tried to discover the | |
techniques they used in human relations. | |
From all this material, I prepared a short talk. I called it “How to Win Friends and | |
Influence People.” I say “short.” It was short in the beginning, but it soon expanded | |
to a lecture that consumed one hour and thirty minutes. For years, I gave this talk | |
each season to the adults in the Carnegie Institute courses in New York. | |
I gave the talk and urged the listeners to go out and test it in their business and | |
social contacts, and then come back to class and speak about their experiences and | |
the results they had achieved. What an interesting assignment! These men and | |
women, hungry for self- improvement, were fascinated by the idea of working in a | |
new kind of laboratory - the first and only laboratory of human relationships for | |
adults that had ever existed. | |
This book wasn’t written in the usual sense of the word. It grew as a child grows. It | |
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grew and developed out of that laboratory, out of the experiences of thousands of | |
adults. | |
Years ago, we started with a set of rules printed on a card no larger than a postcard. | |
The next season we printed a larger card, then a leaflet, then a series of booklets, | |
each one expanding in size and scope. After fifteen years of experiment and | |
research came this book. | |
The rules we have set down here are not mere theories or guesswork. They work | |
like magic. Incredible as it sounds, I have seen the application of these principles | |
literally revolutionize the lives of many people. | |
To illustrate: A man with 314 employees joined one of these courses. For years, he | |
had driven and criticized and condemned his employees without stint or discretion. | |
Kindness, words of appreciation and encouragement were alien to his lips. After | |
studying the principles discussed in this book, this employer sharply altered his | |
philosophy of life. His organization is now inspired with a new loyalty, a new | |
enthusiasm, a new spirit of teamwork. Three hundred and fourteen enemies have | |
been turned into 314 friends. As he proudly said in a speech before the class: | |
“When I used to walk through my establishment, no one greeted me. My employees | |
actually looked the other way when they saw me approaching. But now they are all | |
my friends and even the janitor calls me by my first name.” | |
This employer gained more profit, more leisure and—what is infinitely more | |
important—he found far more happiness in his business and in his home. | |
Countless numbers of salespeople have sharply increased their sales by the use of | |
these principles. Many have opened up new accounts—accounts that they had | |
formerly solicited in vain. Executives have been given increased authority, | |
increased pay. One executive reported a large increase in salary because he applied | |
these truths. Another, an executive in the Philadelphia Gas Works Company, was | |
slated for demotion when he was sixty-five because of his belligerence, because of | |
his inability to lead people skillfully. This training not only saved him from the | |
demotion but brought him a promotion with increased pay. | |
On innumerable occasions, spouses attending the banquet given at the end of the | |
course have told me that their homes have been much happier since their husbands | |
or wives started this training. | |
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People are frequently astonished at the new results they achieve. It all seems like | |
magic. In some cases, in their enthusiasm, they have telephoned me at my home on | |
Sundays because they couldn’t wait forty-eight hours to report their achievements at | |
the regular session of the course. | |
One man was so stirred by a talk on these principles that he sat far into the night | |
discussing them with other members of the class. At three o’clock in the morning, | |
the others went home. But he was so shaken by a realization of his own mistakes, so | |
inspired by the vista o a new and richer world opening before him, that he was | |
unable to sleep. He didn’t sleep that night or the next day or the next night. | |
Who was he? A naive, untrained individual ready to gush over any new theory that | |
came along? No, Far from it. He was a sophisticated, blasé dealer in art, very much | |
the man about town, who spoke three languages fluently and was a graduate of two | |
European universities. | |
While writing this chapter, I received a letter from a German of the old school, an | |
aristocrat whose forebears had served for generations as professional army officers | |
under the Hohenzollerns. His letter, written from a transatlantic steamer, telling | |
about the application of these principles, rose almost to a religious fervor. | |
Another man, an old New Yorker, a Harvard graduate, a wealthy man, the owner of | |
a large carpet factory, declared he had learned more in fourteen weeks through this | |
system of training about the fine art of influencing people than he had learned about | |
the same subject during his four years in college. Absurd? Laughable? Fantastic? Of | |
course, you are privileged to dismiss this statement with whatever adjective you | |
wish. I am merely reporting, without comment, a declaration made by a | |
conservative and eminently successful Harvard graduate in a public address to | |
approximately six hundred people at the Yale Club in New York on the evening of | |
Thursday, February 23, 1933. | |
“Compared to what we ought to be,” said the famous Professor William James of | |
Harvard, “compared to what we ought to be, we are only half awake. We are | |
making use of only a small part of our physical and mental resources. Stating the | |
thing broadly, the human individual thus lives far within his limits. He possesses | |
powers of various sorts which he habitually fails to use,” | |
Those powers which you “habitually fail to use”! The sole purpose of this book is to | |
help you discover, develop and profit by those dormant and unused assets. | |
19 | |
“Education,” said Dr. John G. Hibben, former president of Princeton University, “is | |
the ability to meet life’s situations.” | |
If by the time you have finished reading the first three chapters of this book—if you | |
aren’t then a little better equipped to meet life’s situations, then I shall consider this | |
book to be a total failure so far as you are concerned. For “the great aim of | |
education,” said Herbert Spencer, “is not knowledge but action.” | |
And this is an action book. | |
DALE CARNEGIE 1936 | |
20 | |
Nine Suggestions on How to Get the Most Out of This Book | |
1. If you wish to get the most out of this book, there is one indispensable | |
requirement, one essential infinitely more important than any rule or technique. | |
Unless you have this one fundamental requisite, a thousand rules on how to study | |
will avail little, And if you do have this cardinal endowment, then you can achieve | |
wonders without reading any suggestions for getting the most out of a book. | |
What is this magic requirement? Just this: a deep, driving desire to learn, a vigorous | |
determination to increase your ability to deal with people. | |
How can you develop such an urge? By constantly reminding yourself how | |
important these principles are to you. Picture to yourself how their mastery will aid | |
you in leading a richer, fuller, happier and more fulfilling life. Say to yourself over | |
and over: "My popularity, my happiness and sense of worth depend to no small | |
extent upon my skill in dealing with people.” | |
2. Read each chapter rapidly at first to get a bird's-eye view of it. You will probably | |
be tempted then to rush on to the next one. But don’t—unless you are reading | |
merely for entertainment. But if you are reading because you want to increase your | |
skill in human relations, then go back and reread each chapter thoroughly. In the | |
long run, this will mean saving time and getting results. | |
3. Stop frequently in your reading to think over what you are reading. Ask yourself | |
just how and when you can apply each suggestion. | |
4. Read with a crayon, pencil, pen, magic marker or highlighter in your hand. When | |
you come across a suggestion that you feel you can use, draw a line beside it. If it is | |
a four-star suggestion, then underscore every sentence or highlight it, or mark it | |
with “****.” Marking and underscoring a book makes it more interesting, and far | |
easier to review rapidly. | |
5. I knew a woman who had been office manager for a large insurance concern for | |
fifteen years. Every month, she read all the insurance contracts her company had | |
issued that month. Yes, she read many of the same contracts over month after | |
month, year after year. Why? Because experience had taught her that that was the | |
only way she could keep their provisions clearly in mind. | |
I once spent almost two years writing a book on public speaking and yet I found I | |
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