2024-09-09 whats_up_with_all_the_iphone_16_buttons.en.ass-translated.txt

Warning.
This episode may, or may not, contain a Tim Cook impression.
Sometimes it happens organically, but we make no promises that one will occur.
Viewer discretion is advised.
Buy your mom an impression!
At their It's Glow Time event this morning,
Apple unveiled the iPhone 16 lineup,
new AirPods, and a new Apple Watch,
along with old AirPods, and an old Apple Watch
that you might have thought was new if you aren't terminally online.
Thankfully, we are.
So here's the lowdown.
Apple kind of flattened out the iPhone lineup this time around,
bringing the iPhone 16 and 16 Plus two chip generations up
from the A16 Bionic to the A18,
which means these new non-pro iPhones will have Apple Intelligence.
In beta.
In the US.
Next month.
A lot of that kind of tomorrow energy going on at this event,
but we'll get into that.
The non-pro iPhone 16 start at 800 bucks and now have the customizable action button
introduced with last year's 15 Pros,
as well as an all-new camera control clickable slider button
that's also on the iPhone 16 and 16 Pro Max.
It not only serves as a proper shutter button
when taking photos in landscape mode,
it can be lightly pressed to bring up additional UIs for fine focusing
or changing modes by sliding your finger.
Kind of like you would do with physical knobs on a dedicated camera,
evoking memories of the iPod click wheel
and Apple's history of brilliantly emulating familiar hardware on new tech.
Sorry, that sounded sarcastic, but it was genuine.
I struggle with giving earnest compliments.
Good job, Jacob.
Clicking and holding the camera control button
will activate the new Visual Intelligence feature,
which will let you use a photo to search the web,
prompt Siri or chat GPT,
and even add an event from a poster to your calendar.
It's like what Google Lens pretends to be
and is actually really cool.
I'm sorry, I just, I don't, I don't know how.
So wait, all the iPhone 16s sound pretty similar right now.
Why would I pay over a thousand bucks for the 16 Pro or Pro Max
other than to get that exclusive color that seemed like it was poo brown,
but is actually called Desert Titanium
and doesn't actually look like poo to everyone's surprise?
Well, you don't want the regular old 18.
You want the A18 Pro.
It's got a bunch of upgrades
that will let the 16 Pros run Apple Intelligence 15% faster
than on the iPhone 15 Pro.
Not that we would know at this point.
It hasn't come out yet.
But the Pros also have larger displays,
studio-quality mics that enable customized background noise removal for video recording,
and upgraded cameras that support recording 4K 120 video.
Hey, if it's good enough for the weekend to film a music video with,
it's good enough for me.
Next up,
the new AirPods 4 have an H2 chip and also an upgraded version with ANC and a wireless charging case,
while the AirPod Pros have gotten upgraded hearing testing abilities 
that help them function as clinical-grade hearing aids.
I don't know, sounds like boomer s**t to me.
Apple also showed off the new Apple Watch Series 10,
with a bigger display and the thinnest design ever.
It now can run the Translate app directly on watch,
and adds sleep apnea
to the list of conditions it can detect,
continuing the watch's transformation
into basically the tricorder from Star Trek.
At their next event in October,
Apple will reportedly unveil new iPads and Macs,
packed with new buttons
that activate features that will definitely become available at some point in the future.
Hahaha, you press the button,
it's like,
This feature will be available sometime next year.
There's no Tim Cook impression,
but that was like, almost
Craig Federighi.
Your friends and family can now message each other.
I want...
Ha!
Send little kisses over the internet.
IFA 2024 kicked off in Berlin last Friday,
and some of the tech there really put the funk in Internationale Funkastelung.
That's what IFA stands for, by the way, according to Jacob.
Nanoleaf showed off its Sense Plus battery-powered smart switch
that it's been working on for eight years,
although that's no guarantee of success,
as Concord has shown.
The switch uses a proprietary protocol called LightWave
to control all Nanoleaf smart lights in a room,
while two configurable buttons on the Sense Plus can use Matter to control other devices.
Then there's Lenovo's auto-twist AI PC concept,
which has a motorized 360-degree hinge,
allowing the display to follow you around,
like it's asking for a restraining order.
I know you said you're done using me for stuff,
but actually, I have something to tell you about.
You, like, close the window, and then, like, walk away,
and it's like, is
that it?
More helpfully,
the laptop can detect when it's not being used
and close itself to prevent any real snoops from gaining access.
Oh, interesting.
Meanwhile,
Acer showed off a gaming laptop concept called Project Dual Play.
Its touchpad pops out and flips over into a controller
that further separates into two smaller controllers, Nintendo Switch-style.
Wow,
but if you're into gaming products that actually exist,
there's the Tecno Pocket Go,
a handheld PC disguised as a chunky gamepad with AR glasses as a display.
It evokes a cyberpunk dystopia,
where the majority of the population are forced to use the younger sibling controller.
If you're more into home gadgets,
the Wireless Power Consortium,
the minds behind the Qi wireless charging standard,
announced the Ki Standard.
You're supposed to say it the way that other people said the other one wrongly.
Apparently, it's called that because it's for kitchens.
Okay.
Ki transmitters can be baked into countertops,
that's a pun,
and deliver up to 2,200 watts to compatible smart appliances.
These appliances will be cordless to make them dishwasher-safe
and also render them useless if you ever move.
I thought that was a genuine feature.
There is a benefit, though,
if you accidentally knock over a blender or something,
it'll stop spinning.
It'll never spin again.
On the even weirder side,
there's the air purifier table from SwitchBot,
the only company brave enough to ask the question,
what if we just made an air purifier,
but then we gave it a little hat?
You should be brave enough to ask about our sponsor,
Seasonic.
So,
you think you got what it takes to watch the QuickBits, do you?
Huh.
Well, feast your peepers on this!
Huh!
AMD's Jack Huynh spilled some big beans this week.
In a statement at IFA,
Huynh said AMD will be integrating their consumer and data center GPU architectures,
RDNA and CDNA, respectively,
into a unified UDNA architecture,
making a more accessible platform for developers
and hopefully more effectively competing with Nvidia's Cuda ecosystem.
But it seems AMD won't be competing with Nvidia's flagship gaming GPUs,
as Huynh told Tom's Hardware,
TeamRed is re-prioritizing mid-range GPUs,
saying, quote,
I don't want AMD to be the company that only people who can afford Porsches and Ferraris can buy,
and that's why their high-end X870E motherboards reportedly won't cost more than $800.
It's a board for the people.
For the people in higher tax brackets.
Meta's rumored budget headset, the MetaQuest 3S,
is expected to launch on September 25th at Meta's Connect event,
but a render of the headset was recently released online
thanks to reliable leaker, Meta.
The render was originally spotted
in the files of the MetaQuest client for Windows and posted to Reddit,
and it seems to show a design that combines elements
of the Quest 2 and Quest 3.
Likewise,
third-party accessories for the 3S have already appeared on AliExpress,
including apparently real photos of the headset.
I don't know, though.
This could still all be just a prank.
What if we're all in the Metaverse already?
I mean, we just don't...
Amazon's Audible has started to invite certain US audiobook narrators
to train AIs on their own voices.
Narrators who opt in will be compensated for any audiobook that makes use of their AI voice,
though likely at a lower rate via a royalty share model.
Narrators can still choose which productions
get to use their AI voice model,
and will be able to use built-in tools to edit the AI narration
to correct things like pronunciation mistakes and pacing.
But I mean, at that point,
why not just record the audio yourself?
It sounds like you have time.
Oh, what was this delivery?
What is this guy, an idiot?
Sonos is still suffering from its software issues.
According to a report by Mark Gurman,
reporting on something other than Apple?
Right?
What are you doing, Mark?
What are you doing, buddy?
The company's app troubles have caused it to delay the launch of two products,
one of which is a set-top box codenamed Pinewood.
Sonos is also scaling back production of its Ace headphones,
as they haven't exactly been flying off the shelves.
Do you want to buy headphones that will break in a couple months for no reason?
Worth a shot.
Oh yeah, by the way,
Sonos makes headphones,
if you forgot or were never told.
Gosh,
I wonder why they aren't selling.
And researcher, and I guess fashion designer, Teresa Barton,
is recycling old Nvidia GT 730 graphics cards
into purses that cost $1,024 exactly,
which is one way to make enough money to finally afford an RTX 4080.
Barton also offers higher-end purses
fashioned out of H100 AI chips
for over $65,000.
These repurposed GPUs aren't functional, according to Barton,
they're ethically sourced from data-centred dumpsters,
but the fan still works,
which should mean your wallet and keys get excellent airflow.
And we'd appreciate more airflow this Wednesday when
the next episode of TechLink drops,
so come on back,
if you're a fan.Hahaha,
I'm sorry,
oh God, I'm so sorry, please
That was,
I didn't mean to make that joke,
that was not,
please.Please come back.