diff --git "a/AuthorMix.json" "b/AuthorMix.json" new file mode 100644--- /dev/null +++ "b/AuthorMix.json" @@ -0,0 +1 @@ +{"Speeches": {"trump": ["It is highly fitting that Justice Barrett fills the seat of a true pioneer for women: Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg. Tonight, Justice Barrett becomes not only the fifth woman to serve on our nation's highest court, but the very first mother of school-aged children to become a Supreme Court justice. Very important.", "Thank you. Thank you very much everybody. Thank you.", "And after years of rebuilding other nations -- we rebuild other nations -- we rebuild other nations that have a lot of money, and we don't ever say, \"Hey, you got to help.\" We're finally rebuilding our nation. We're rebuilding our nation. And we're restoring our confidence and our pride.", "Thank you very much. Thank you. Please. I want to thank Vice President Pence, along with the many members of my Cabinet here with us today.", "The American people hope that one day soon the United Nations can be a much more accountable and effective advocate for human dignity and freedom around the world. In the meantime, we believe that no nation should have to bear a disproportionate share of the burden, militarily or financially. Nations of the world must take a greater role in promoting secure and prosperous societies in their own regions.", "Excuse me. I want them to open, and I want him to open as soon as possible. And I want the state to open. But I wasn't happy with Brian Kemp. I will tell you that right now.", "Well, you don't know what you have. Do you think you're getting honest numbers from some of these countries? Do you really believe those numbers in this vast country called China--and that they have a certain number of cases and a certain number of deaths--does anybody really believe that?", "Now anyone in consultation with their physician, regardless of their symptoms can request a test and their doctors will contact those agencies, those labs in their state. But very soon, Americans will be able to go to these, these drive-in sites and be able to obtain and participate in a test.", "And we'll also--we're also talking about the World Trade Organization. But we've made a lot of progress there. We're now winning cases for the first time, because they know I'll leave if we don't get treated fairly.", "Thank you, and God bless you all. Thank you very much. Thank you.", "Fifth, the United States Department of Energy is announcing today that it will approve two long-term applications to export additional natural gas from the Lake Charles LNG terminal in Louisiana. It's going to be a big deal. It's a great announcement.", "You know, and don't forget: These big companies--you have stocks in these companies. You know, you own stocks. And they have millions and millions of shareholders. And whether it's pension funds or anybody else, you all have stocks. So there are big companies, but a lot of people own that stock, and we want to keep it going.", "Again, we don't want everybody taking this test; it's totally unnecessary. And this will pass. This will pass through, and we're going to be even stronger for it. We've learned a lot. A tremendous amount has been learned.", "And that is really what targets and drives the science community to say, \"All right, what don't we know now, so we don't duplicate what other people have done?\" So we've championed that document, it's well referenced, and I would encourage you to look at that.", "As President, my top priority, my constant concern, has always been the best interests of American workers and American families. I did not seek the easiest course; by far, it was actually the most difficult. I did not seek the path that would get the least criticism. I took on the tough battles, the hardest fights, the most difficult choices because that's what you elected me to do. Your needs were my first and last unyielding focus.", "And, by the way, within two weeks, you'll see numbers and you'll see different forms of testing--just like we came up with the Abbott Laboratories machine, which gives it to you in five minutes--that everybody wants. Everybody is asking, \"Can we get that?\" But you can only make them so fast. But, as you know, we've done more testing than every other nation combined, and that's a big statement.", "To secure our country, we are calling on Congress to build a great border wall to stop dangerous drugs and criminals from pouring into our country. And now they're willing to give us the wall, but they don't want to give us any of the laws to keep these people out.", "Thank you. He didn't know he was going to do that. And you didn't know you were going to do that. But that's in honor of your boy, right? You made a big impact.", "We have ended the war on American Energy--and we have ended the war on clean coal. We are now an exporter of energy to the world.", "Protecting Americans' health also means fighting infectious diseases. We are coordinating with the Chinese government and working closely together on the coronavirus outbreak in China. My administration will take all necessary steps to safeguard our citizens from this threat.", "So, this was much more than was originally agreed. The 600 was a number that was there. And as you know, they were diff--there was difficulty with the 600 number because it really was a disincentive.", "Yeah. Go ahead, please.", "And I will now sign the executive action. And then, if you want, we can ask a few questions.", "Four years ago, I came to Washington as the only true outsider ever to win the presidency. I had not spent my career as a politician, but as a builder looking at open skylines and imagining infinite possibilities. I ran for President because I knew there were towering new summits for America just waiting to be scaled. I knew the potential for our nation was boundless as long as we put America first.", "Seema. Where is Seema? I'd like you to maybe take that a step further, please, on nursing homes. Thanks.", "Now, when I got a call--I got a call not very quickly; nobody, you know, saw that as being any big deal--they said, \"How are you doing with Dr. Fauci?\" I said, \"I'm doing great.\" And I didn't talk to Dr. Fauci, even until we just got here. Dr. Fauci asked one of the people if he could get up and speak, and he did.", "Instead, we actually made deals with Mexico and with Guatemala, El Salvador, Honduras. And we're doing it with them instead of with our Congress, but we're doing it. We get it done.", "The first time he came to the National Jamboree was in 1964. He was very young then. And Rick told me just a little while ago, it totally changed his life.", "The contracts are with General Electric, Hillrom, Medtronic, ResMed, and Vyaire, combined with the DPA contracts that we announced last week with General Motors and Philips and two other contracts with Hamilton and ZOLL. We're adding 6,190 ventilators to the Strategic National Stockpile, of which we have a lot already--thousands--close to 10,000. But this will be added by May 8th, another 29,000 by the end of May. And more than 120,000 total we will have by the end of the year.", "Convalescent plasma will also be used to manufacture a concentrated antibody treatment that does not have to be matched with a particular blood type. This concentrated antibody treatment could be used as a preventative measure to keep healthcare workers and other high-risk populations from contracting the virus in the first place. A very big deal.", "And I see sitting in the corner was a little old man who was all by himself. Nobody was talking to him. I immediately recognized that that man was the once great William Levitt, of Levittown, and I immediately went over. I wanted to talk to him more than the Hollywood, show business, communications people.", "But we're thinking about doing, really, a largescale rollout of commercials that show how bad it is for the kids. And when they see those commercials, hopefully, they're not going to be going to drugs of any kind--drugs of any kind. And we'll save a lot of lives, and we'll make their life a lot easier.", "Biden supported NAFTA. He supported China's entry into the World Trade Organization. Two disasters. The most disastrous trade deals in history, both of them. I can't tell you which was worse; they were both terrible.", "Last October, we declared the opioid crisis a public health emergency. Should have been done a long time before. Since then, we've worked with Congress to ensure at least 6 billion additional dollars, going through right now, in new funding in 2018 and 2019 to combat the opioid crisis. And we will be spending the most money ever on the opioid crisis.", "The first and only time that Dr. Birx and I went in and formally made a recommendation to the President to actually have a, quote, \"shutdown\" in the sense of--not really \"shutdown\" but to really have strong mitigation, we discussed it. Obviously, there would be concern by some that, in fact, that might have some negative consequences. Nonetheless, the President listened to the recommendation and went to the mitigation.", "This is why I wish the Democrats would help us a little bit with it, because they should. It's purely partisan what they're doing, and it's bad for our country. But--but, you know, there is death by doing--by having this strongly closed country. We have to get back to work.", "To celebrate America's majestic inheritance, yesterday I signed an executive order to create a brand-new monument to our most beloved icons. The National Garden of American Heroes will be a vast outdoor park that will feature the statues of the greatest Americans who have ever lived. We will honor extraordinary citizens from every community and from every place and from every part of our nation. Great men and great women, people that we can look up to forever.", "Americans know that in a world where others seek conquest and domination, our nation must be strong in wealth, in might, and in spirit. That is why the United States vigorously defends the traditions and customs that have made us who we are.", "And once I ran, I said, \"Boy, this is incredible.\" But if you see the way they treat my family -- used to be treated great. My family worked so hard. The people that work with me -- these people -- all of these people, they work so hard. They've done such a good --", "Today he has a new leg, but Seong-ho, I understand you still keep those crutches as a reminder of how far you have come. Your great sacrifice is an inspiration to us all.", "You know, the CARES Act was signed before the--before March was end--towards the end there. So essentially two weeks from that money being put into the Title III authority for DOD. This action takes us from a baseline of what--what was being produced domestically of about 30 million masks upwards to, as we go through the fall into the end of the winter, 120 million masks domestically.", "Our plan includes the following: $800 million in urgent humanitarian assistance; $805 million for drug detection technology to help secure our ports of entry; an additional 2,750 border agents and law enforcement professionals; 75 new immigration judge teams to reduce the court backlog of, believe it or not, almost 900,000 cases. However, the whole concept of having lengthy trials for anyone who sets one foot in our country unlawfully must be changed by Congress. It is unsustainable. It is ridiculous. Few places in the world would even consider such an impossible nightmare.", "And we are returning to the wisdom of our founders. In America, the people govern, the people rule, and the people are sovereign. What we have built here in America is precious and unique. In all of history, never before has freedom reigned, the rule of law prevailed, and the people thrived as we have here for nearly 250 years.", "But you have to look at her a little bit more closely, because obviously Joe is not doing too well. So you're going to have to look at her a little bit too closely.", "The United States will forever be a great friend to the world, and especially to its allies. But we can no longer be taken advantage of, or enter into a one-sided deal where the United States gets nothing in return. As long as I hold this office, I will defend America's interests above all else.", "With that goal in mind, my administration is also pursuing the hope of a brighter future in Afghanistan. Unfortunately, the Taliban has chosen to continue their savage attacks. And we will continue to work with our coalition of Afghan partners to stamp out terrorism, and we will never stop working to make peace a reality.", "Go ahead, please. Yeah.", "Should I be confirmed, I will be mindful of who came before me. The flag of the United States is still flying at half-staff in memory of Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg to mark the end of a great American life. Justice Ginsburg began her career at a time when women were not welcome in the legal profession. But she not only broke glass ceilings, she smashed them. For that, she has won the admiration of women across the country and, indeed, all over the world.", "I would like to thank Chairman Kim for his courage and for the steps he has taken, though much work remains to be done. The sanctions will stay in place until denuclearization occurs.", "I told them that the beauty and majesty of citizenship is that it draws no distinctions of race, or class, or faith, or gender or background. All Americans, whether first generation or tenth generation, are bound together in love and loyalty, friendship and affection.", "I want to thank Vice President Pence. As always, he's right there and he has really been a help to this administration. We have some big things happening today, and we have some very big things happening over the next month, and I guess probably I can say over the next eight years. I suspect I can say that.", "If you look at the first three lines, when you see the word \"surface,\" we're talking about nonporous surfaces: door handles, stainless steel. And if you look at the--as the temperature increases, as the humidity increases, with no sun involved, you can see how drastically the half-life goes down on that virus. So the virus is dying at a much more rapid pace, just from exposure to higher temperatures and just from exposure to humidity.", "Oh, I thought you meant I was prepared. I couldn't believe you said that.", "But when you see what happened with the viciousness, and when you see little Adam Schiff go out and lie and lie and stand at the mic -- smart guy, by the way -- stand at the mic and act like he's so serious. And then he goes into a room with Nadler, and they must laugh their asses off. They must laugh their asses off.", "Go ahead, please. Please.", "Under my administration, the era of economic surrender is over. We're renegotiating trade deals that are so bad, whether it's NAFTA or whether it's World Trade Organization, which created China -- that created -- if you look at China, it was going along like this, then we opened, stupidly, this deal. And China has been like a rocket ship ever since.", "You asked, \"Does the federal government have the power?\" The federal government has absolute power. It has the power. As to whether or not I'll use that power, we'll see. I would rather --", "That is our plan: border security, DACA, TPS, and many other things. Straightforward, fair, reasonable, and common sense, with lots of compromise. Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell has pledged to bring this bill to a vote this week in the United States Senate.", "Earlier today, we also had a conference call led by Secretary Ben Carson and leaders from HUD about the President's announcement yesterday that he is repurposing the White House Opportunity and Revitalization Council to focus on the impact of the coronavirus on minority communities. Secretary Carson will convene the council tomorrow, and we'll be reporting tomorrow afternoon on their progress.", "If you have stocks in NASDAQ, you're higher than you ever were, including even--this is still during the pandemic. The stock market--because they see such incredible things are happening, smart people--the stock market is that almost an all-time high. We're just short of it. And NASDAQ is higher than it ever was. It's broken the record 14 times in the last couple of months.", "Today, I'm announcing several critical actions that my administration has taken to confront a problem that we have right here at home. We fight wars that are 6,000 miles away; wars that we should have never been in, in many cases. But we don't control our own border.", "With the strategy I am announcing today, we are declaring that America is in the game and America is going to win. Thank you.", "Thank you very much. Great job. Thank you very much.", "In Detroit, there were hours of unexplained delay in delivering many of the votes for counting. The final batch did not arrive until four in the morning and -- even though the polls closed at eight o'clock. So they brought it in, and the batches came in, and nobody knew where they came from. We've also been denied access to observe in critical places in Georgia.", "In this time and challenge--and we are certainly in a time probably like we haven't been in many, many decades--we are strengthened and sustained by the bonds of love and loyalty that unite all Americans. I'm so proud of the American people.", "You looked at the charts, and the charts are--and the models from early on--predictions were 100 and 120,000 people look like. If they did well, they were going to unfortunately perish. And we're going to be, hopefully, way, way below that number. So that will be a sign of people doing things right, but it's still just a horrible thing all over the world. A hundred and eighty-four countries.", "The United States is a compassionate nation and has spent billions and billions of dollars in helping to support this effort. We seek an approach to refugee resettlement that is designed to help these horribly treated people, and which enables their eventual return to their home countries, to be part of the rebuilding process.", "And so either they come on board, or we're just going to have to really work and we're going to have to get more people so we can get the kind of numbers that we need to pass, in a much easier fashion, legislation. And to get it done, we'll all have to make some compromises along the way--to get it done this way. Now, to get it done the other way, if we win more, we don't have to compromise so much. Okay? With the tax bill, we got what we wanted because we had, essentially, a unanimous vote.", "All right, go ahead, with the face mask. Go ahead.", "Together, we can break decades of political stalemate. We can bridge old divisions, heal old wounds, build new coalitions, forge new solutions, and unlock the extraordinary promise of America's future. The decision is ours to make.", "We also thank--we also thank the Secretary General for recognizing that the United Nations must reform if it is to be an effective partner in confronting threats to sovereignty, security, and prosperity. Too often the focus of this organization has not been on results, but on bureaucracy and process.", "The cost of Biden's economic treachery was 60,000 shuttered American factories. And I heard this morning the real number is probably 70,000--70,000 shuttered American factories. And he's talking about how wonderful it is with China. No, China has been very bad, on top of which we had the China plague sent to us and other viruses--nothing near this serious--but the swine, and we had other viruses sent in over the years that came from China. I wonder why.", "We, we're estimating somewhere between 15- and 20,000 tests a day are able to be performed. But very soon, with the program that was announced today, Americans will be able to visit one of the sites closest to them, as described on the website, if they're symptomatic--if the questionnaire indicates it--to be able to have a test there. And these incredible companies will process the test and they'll receive that information.", "Sure. Well, I've been support--I've been supportive of that. I was the first one that brought it up. You never heard of Nord Stream 2 until Trump came along.", "Well, that was recommended to me by a group of professionals, and we are looking at it based on the new numbers that are coming out. And we may have to include them in the list of countries that we will, you could say, ban--or whatever--it is during this period of time.", "Well, make no mistake about it: In the long history of this country, the authority of the President of the United States during national emergencies is unquestionably plenary. And you can look back through times of war and other national emergencies. And as the President said, we'll happily brief that.", "But remember, they have the biggest, best, strongest lobbyists, and they're doing a number. Just stick with us. Don't believe the crap you see from these people--the fake news.", "Many of America's closest friends today were once our gravest foes. The United States has never believed in permanent enemies. We want partners, not adversaries. America knows that while anyone can make war, only the most courageous can choose peace.", "In fact, I was very happy to see Zach Fuentes came out and said now he's--that's--I think that's number 15--and these are people that were there. That's the 15th person. General Kellogg, everybody that was there knew what happened. And so I was happy to see that Zach came out and said it's not true. He just came out.", "African American unemployment has reached the lowest level in our history. Hispanic unemployment has reached the lowest level in our history. Women -- women unemployment is at the lowest level in 18 years. Wages are rising for the first time in many, many years.", "The American economy is by far the largest in the world, and we've just enacted the most significant tax cuts and reform in American history. We've massively cut taxes for the middle class and small businesses to let working families keep more of their hard-earned money. We lowered our corporate tax rate from 35 percent, all the way down to 21 percent. As a result, millions of workers have received tax cut bonuses from their employers in amounts as large as $3,000.", "We're in touch with everybody. We're in touch with--when I say \"everybody,\" we're in touch with many of the countries that you know about, that you're writing about. And they're calling us asking for advice. They're asking for the advice of the people behind me.", "But she said, \"There's something so compelling -- it has to be so compelling and so overwhelming and bipartisan. I don't think we should go down that path, because it divides the country\" -- she was right about that -- \"and it's just not worth it.\" That was Nancy Pelosi a year ago. Right?", "We salute our great American flag, we put our hands on our hearts for the Pledge of Allegiance. And we all proudly stand for the national anthem.", "While some partisans and unelected bureaucrats in Washington may choose to fight every day against the interests and beliefs of the American people, my administration is standing up for the American people like no administration has in many, many years. You forgot the American people. You totally forgot the American people.", "I ask every country represented here today to be prepared to do more to address this very real crisis. We call for the full restoration of democracy and political freedoms in Venezuela.", "Additionally, through our Paycheck Protection Program -which is a tremendous success, and they should extend it and increase it. This has been a tremendous success. So successful that the banks are taking a little bit longer to distribute the money, but it's going rapidly.", "But that's only one example. There are so many examples. In El Paso, they have close to 2,000 murders right on the other side of the wall. And they had 23 murders. It's a lot of murders, but it's not close to 2,000 murders right on the other side of the wall, in Mexico.", "I could ask perhaps--my administration--but I could perhaps ask Tony about that because I don't know anything about it. I mean, you say, you say we did that. I don't know anything about it.", "That, we like. But the other situation is very, very--very, very bad.", "No, no. You get one. You get one. Ready?", "Our team is the best anywhere in the world. At the very start of the outbreak, we instituted sweeping travel restrictions on China and put in place the first federally mandated quarantine in over 50 years. We declared a public health emergency and issued the highest level of travel warning on other countries as the virus spread its horrible infection.", "So, thank you very much for being here. Thank you all. Thank you all very much. Thank you. Congratulations, Amy.", "Soleimani has been perpetrating acts of terror to destabilize the Middle East for the last 20 years. What the United States did yesterday should have been done long ago. A lot of lives would have been saved.", "The meetings I had on a bilat, or close, were pretty staggering. I think we set a new record, but you'll have to check that out. The -- we met very, very -- for pretty extended periods of time, either two and two, one on one, or just about at that level with Pakistan, Poland, New Zealand, Singapore, Egypt, South Korea, United Kingdom, India, Iraq, Argentina, Germany, Brazil, France, Japan, Ukraine, Honduras, El Salvador, Saudi Arabia, Jordan, Bahrain, Kuwait, Qatar, Oman, UAE, Chile, Colombia, Ecuador, and Peru. Other than that, we weren't too busy over the last three days.", "Lincoln was right -- and it is time we heeded his words. I am not going to let America and its great companies and workers, be taken advantage of anymore.", "The Marshall Plan was built on the noble idea that the whole world is safer when nations are strong, independent, and free. As President Truman said in his message to Congress at that time, \"Our support of European recovery is in full accord with our support of the United Nations. The success of the United Nations depends upon the independent strength of its members.\"", "To ensure that working Americans impacted by the virus can stay home without fear of financial hardship, I will soon be taking emergency action, which is unprecedented, to provide financial relief. This will be targeted for workers who are ill, quarantined, or caring for others due to coronavirus.", "And I wanted to conclude by really thanking my PEPFAR teams around the world who have been working tirelessly throughout the world to ensure that Africa and Asia doesn't experience this level of infections that we have seen here. They've turned over their capacities from their embassies. Our U. S. hires throughout the world, our ambassadors are still on the frontline with our local staff, working with ministries of health, to confront this virus around the globe. And I assure you that they are continuing to invest in the health structures, the laboratory, and the frontline care to ensure that all of the work that we have done against TB, HIV, and malaria continues. But that we use our capacity, our laboratories, our clinics, our hospitals that have been built by the American people and the generosity of the American people to really combat this COVID-19 around the globe.", "With unyielding commitment, we are curbing the opioid epidemic. Drug overdose deaths declined for the first time in nearly 30 years. Among the states hardest hit, Ohio is down 22 percent, Pennsylvania is down 18 percent, Wisconsin is down 10 percent--and we will not quit until we have beaten the opioid epidemic once and for all.", "And as I said, we've eliminated more regulations in our first year than any administration has ever eliminated. And that means four years, eight years, or, in one instance, sixteen years. In one year, we've knocked out more regulations. It's an amazing thing. And I happen to think that that is every bit as important toward our success as the tax cuts.", "This is our legacy. This is our birthright. And this is the foundation on which we build our very glorious future. Because together, we are, indeed, making America great again.", "I don't want a person that's never handled a gun that wouldn't know what a gun looks like to be armed. But out of your teaching population -- out of your teaching population, you have 10 percent, 20 percent of very gun-adept people. Military people, law enforcement people, they teach. They teach.", "And thanks also to Senators Mike Lee and James Lankford, who are here. James, Mike -- thank you, fellas. And Representatives Steve Scalise --; Chris Smith --; Ralph Abraham --; Warren Davidson --; Bob Latta --; John Joyce --; Lloyd Smucker --; Brian Fitzpatrick --; and Brad Wenstrup. Thank you, all.", "Incomes soared, wages boomed, the American Dream was restored, and millions were lifted from poverty in just a few short years. It was a miracle. The stock market set one record after another, with 148 stock market highs during this short period of time, and boosted the retirements and pensions of hardworking citizens all across our nation. 401(k)s are at a level they've never been at before. We've never seen numbers like we've seen, and that's before the pandemic and after the pandemic.", "I hope not long, but it's there now and it gives tremendous powers for things that we need. Tremendous power, actually. And the Stafford Act and various other things that we're involved with and have studied and memorized in so many different ways and forms, it gives the kind of power that we need to get rid of this virus.", "There will be exemptions for Americans who have undergone appropriate screenings, and these prohibitions will not only apply to the tremendous amount of trade and cargo, but various other things as we get approval. Anything coming from Europe to the United States is what we are discussing. These restrictions will also not apply to the United Kingdom.", "Here, in the United States, we are alarmed by new calls to adopt socialism in our country. America was founded on liberty and independence--not government coercion, domination, and control. We are born free, and we will stay free. Tonight, we renew our resolve that America will never be a socialist country.", "Our priority has always been to focus first on those impacted by the coronavirus and then on those extraordinary healthcare workers ministering to their needs every day. And I know, Mr. President, how proud you are that our men and women in uniform have come alongside our healthcare workers in communities most impacted, and I know the American people are proud as well.", "Our farmers were targeted and now they're benefiting by the amount that they were targeted. And we are very honored to do that. And, Sonny, you're going to start that process very soon. You'll let the farmers know. Nobody can take advantage of our farmers.", "We cannot know what our citizens yet unborn will achieve, the dreams they will imagine, the masterpieces they will create, the discoveries they will make. But we know this: Every life brings love into this world. Every child brings joy to a family. Every person is worth protecting. And above all, we know that every human soul is divine, and every human life -- born and unborn -- is made in the holy image of Almighty God.", "And again, let me just remind you, every dollar we spend in this program, we save a dollar of unemployment insurance. So even though we're asking for $250 billion, it really won't cost that much.", "So they have the Tax Reform Act, and that was it. And now it was called the Tax Act--Tax Cut Act and Jobs. We had to add \"jobs\" into it because we're picking up a tremendous number of jobs--2.7 million jobs since the election. 2.7.", "When you say \"my authority\"--the President's authority. Not mine, because it's not me.", "As millions of our citizens continue to suffer the effects of the devastating hurricanes that have struck our country, I want to begin by expressing my appreciation to every leader in this room who has offered assistance and aid. The American people are strong and resilient, and they will emerge from these hardships more determined than ever before.", "God Bless you, God Bless our heroes, God bless America. And now, let the flyovers begin. Thank you very much.", "But they're there. They're on ground. They've got local mayors, local representatives. They have people that do it.", "Now, the problem is, they then go back, in many cases, to the drugs, and they do it again and again and again. But we have to work on that. We have to work on that very, very strongly.", "I want to thank Boy Scouts President Randall Stephenson, chief Scout executive Michael Surbaugh, Jamboree Chairman Ralph de la Vega and the thousands of volunteers who made this a life-changing experience for all of you. And when they asked me to be here, I said absolutely yes.", "But, Janiyah, I have some good news for you, because I am pleased to inform you that your long wait is over. I can proudly announce tonight that an Opportunity Scholarship has become available, it's going to you, and you will soon be heading to the school of your choice.", "To our country, I can tell you sincerely: We are working closely with our friends in the region -- including Mexico, Canada, Guatemala, Honduras, El Salvador, and Panama -- to uphold the integrity of borders and ensure safety and prosperity for our people. I would like to thank President Lopez Obrador of Mexico for the great cooperation we are receiving and for right now putting 27,000 troops on our southern border. Mexico is showing us great respect, and I respect them in return.", "Police and sheriffs are members of our community. They are friends and neighbors, they are mothers and fathers, sons and daughters - and they leave behind loved ones every day who worry whether or not they'll come home safe and sound.", "Okay, I like that. That's good.", "Through scouting you also learned to believe in yourself--so important--to have confidence in your ability and to take responsibility for your own life. When you face down new challenges--and you will have plenty of them--develop talents you never thought possible, and lead your teammates through daring trials, you discover that you can handle anything. And you learn it by being a Scout. It's great.", "Well, I wish her luck. I wish her a lot of luck.", "But today, I trust that people around the country that are looking on at this extraordinary public and private partnership to address the issue of testing with particular inspiration. After you tapped me to lead the White House Corona Task Force, Mr. President, you said this is all hands on deck, and you directed us to immediately reach out to the American business sector commercial labs to meet what we knew then would be the need for testing across the spectrum. And today, with this historic public-private partnership, we have laid the foundation to meet that need.", "I met with Prime Minister Boris Johnson, at length, of the United Kingdom, continuing our discussions on a magnificent, new bilateral trade deal. So we'll see what happens with respect to Brexit, but I suspect we'll have a fantastic deal with the UK. It should be much bigger than it has been over the last number of years. Over the last 20 years, frankly. It should be a much bigger deal.", "Thank you very much. Thank you, Thomas. Thanks. Great job.", "For the last year, with your help, we have put more great conservative ideas into use than perhaps ever before in American history. Right?", "Our entire nation, with one heavy heart, is praying for the victims and their families. To every parent, teacher, and child who is hurting so badly, we are here for you--whatever you need, whatever we can do, to ease your pain. We are all joined together as one American family, and your suffering is our burden also.", "Iran's hostilities substantially increased after the foolish Iran nuclear deal was signed in 2013, and they were given $150 billion, not to mention $1.8 billion in cash. Instead of saying \"thank you\" to the United States, they chanted \"death to America.\" In fact, they chanted \"death to America\" the day the agreement was signed.", "I will say this, folks: Everything that's turning out, now it's amazing that's come full circle. Boy, have they committed a lot of atrocities when you look. Right? When you look. Have they done things that are wrong.", "Today, Abbott Labs announced that it has developed an antibody test that will determine if someone has been previously infected with the coronavirus and potentially developed immunity. It's a great test. The company says these tests could be available to screen up to 20 million people in a matter of weeks.", "The savage gang, MS-13, now operates in 20 different American states, and they almost all come through our southern border. Just yesterday, an MS-13 gang member was taken into custody for a fatal shooting on a subway platform in New York City. We are removing these gang members by the thousands, but until we secure our border they're going to keep streaming back in.", "In recent months, my Administration has met extensively with both Democrats and Republicans to craft a bipartisan approach to immigration reform. Based on these discussions, we presented the Congress with a detailed proposal that should be supported by both parties as a fair compromise--one where nobody gets everything they want, but where our country gets the critical reforms it needs.", "And, no, China is--we've seen what they did. We've seen many other things that they've done, both pro and con. And we'll be just fine.", "Go ahead, please. Please.", "China is coming here next week, by the way. They're coming home, the traders. And then China is coming here next week. And then I'll be meeting with President Xi at some point after that to maybe -- for some remaining deals. We'll make them directly, one-on-one, ourselves.", "Well, that's going through the Navy, as I understand it. The Navy is going to be making decisions on all of that. And they had a break in--I don't think the ship should have been stopping in Vietnam when you have a pandemic, to be honest with you. You know, I don't think the captain should have been writing letters. He's not Ernest Hemingway, as I said before, and he shouldn't have been writing letters.", "I want to speak to you tonight about the troubling events of the past week. As I have said, the incursion of the US capitol struck at the very heart of our republic. It angered and appalled millions of Americans across the political spectrum.", "To help support working parents, the time has come to pass school choice for America's children. I am also proud to be the first President to include in my budget a plan for nationwide paid family leave--so that every new parent has the chance to bond with their newborn child.", "Thank you, Mike. Great. Thank you, Mike.", "Thank you. God bless you. God bless the nations of the world. And God bless the United States of America. Thank you very much.", "I retweeted somebody. I don't know. They said \"fire.\" It doesn't matter.", "So, that's the story. We want to have a safe country. I ran on a very simple slogan: \"Make America Great Again.\" If you're going to have drugs pouring across the border, if you're going to have human traffickers pouring across the border in areas where we have no protection, in areas where we don't have a barrier, then very hard to make America great again.", "Which one? What did he say?", "Please. Please. Go ahead.", "You know, we'll see what we all come back with. But they are talking about states and they're talking about hospitals.", "Also, and very importantly, we imposed historic and monumental tariffs on China; made a great new deal with China. But before the ink was even dry, we and the whole world got hit with the China virus. Our trade relationship was rapidly changing, billions and billions of dollars were pouring into the U. S., but the virus forced us to go in a different direction.", "A second Holocaust survivor who is here tonight, Joshua Kaufman, was a prisoner at Dachau Concentration Camp. He remembers watching through a hole in the wall of a cattle car as American soldiers rolled in with tanks. \"To me,\" Joshua recalls, \"the American soldiers were proof that God exists, and they came down from the sky.\"", "And thirdly, the virus dies the quickest in the presence of direct sunlight under these conditions. And when you--when you look at that chart, look at the aerosol as you breathe it; you put it in a room, 70 to 75 degrees, 20 percent humidity, low humidity, it lasts--the half-life is about an hour. But you get outside, and it cuts down to a minute and a half. A very significant difference when it gets hit with UV rays.", "My budget also contains an exciting vision for our nation's high schools. Tonight, I ask Congress to support our students and back my plan to offer vocational and technical education in every single high school in America.", "Not for that reason, but because I think I will do it any way. Fairly soon.", "Everything that is broken in our country can be fixed. Every problem can be solved. And every hurting family can find healing, and hope.", "China has their own difficulties. We have a relationship with China that--we're not happy with certain things that happened over the last period of time, as you know, and I've been very explicit on that. But we know all about that.", "The polls, that's also fake news. They're fake polls. But the polls are saying--but we won Wisconsin.", "Our citizens deserve this, and so much more -- so why not join forces to finally get it done? On this and so many other things, Democrats and Republicans should get together and unite for the good of our country, and for the good of the American people.", "Yeah. Yes.", "Unborn children have never had a stronger defender in the White House. And as the Bible tells us, each person is \"wonderfully made.\"", "But you have to go home now. We have to have peace. We have to have law and order. We have to respect our great people in law and order.", "When you see what they do and the way they do it, and the level of ferocity, we can't treat them the way we do the ordinary criminal. And as you saw on Tuesday, I've signed an order keeping open our very secure detention facilities at Guantanamo Bay. It's another promise kept.", "In Afghanistan, my administration is holding constructive talks with a number of Afghan groups, including the Taliban. As we make progress in these negotiations, we will be able to reduce our troop presence and focus on counter-terrorism. We do not know whether we will achieve an agreement--but we do know that after two decades of war, the hour has come to at least try for peace.", "In recent weeks, we have met with large numbers of Democrat lawmakers to hear their ideas and suggestions. By incorporating the priorities of rank-and-file Democrats in our plan, we hope they will offer their enthusiastic support. And I think many will.", "But make no mistake: I will not rest until we have delivered for the citizens of our great country so many different things--immigration, the strong military. We've done an awfully good job of protecting our Second Amendment. That was in question during the campaign, you remember, and we have done a very, very good job.", "And that piece was done by the lobbyists and by the people that they hire. It was a total setup. This country is doing better than it's ever done before, economically. This is the time to take off the rip-off of tariff. We have to do it.", "In June, we mark 75 years since the start of what General Dwight D. Eisenhower called the Great Crusade--the Allied liberation of Europe in World War II. On D-Day, June 6, 1944, 15,000 young American men jumped from the sky, and 60,000 more stormed in from the sea, to save our civilization from tyranny. Here with us tonight are three of those heroes: Private First Class Joseph Reilly, Staff Sergeant Irving Locker, and Sergeant Herman Zeitchik. Gentlemen, we salute you.", "We're here today to discuss matters of vital importance to us all: America's security, prosperity, and standing in the world. I want to talk about where we've been, where we are now, and, finally, our strategy for where we are going in the years ahead.", "I will. I will.", "Sure. Sure.", "And unfortunately, we had tremendous opposition for lowering your taxes from Claire McCaskill. She voted against. Unbelievable.", "As you may know, we're also working to bring back the remains of your brothers-in-arms who gave their lives in Korea. And I hope that, very soon, these fallen warriors will begin coming home to lay at rest in American soil. That's starting the process.", "For nearly 250 years, in the face of every challenge, Americans have always summoned our unmatched courage, confidence, and fierce independence. These are the miraculous traits that once led millions of everyday citizens to set out across a wild continent and carve out a new life in the great West. It was the same profound love of our God-given freedom that willed our soldiers into battle and our astronauts into space.", "Would you tell them a little bit about what you have planned for drug prices and also opioids, in terms of stoppage? Please. Secretary.", "I also want to take a moment to thank a truly exceptional group of people: the United States Secret Service. My family and I will forever be in your debt. My profound gratitude as well to everyone in the White House Military Office, the teams of Marine One and Air Force One, every member of the Armed Forces, and state and local law enforcement all across our country.", "As we see in Jordan, the most compassionate policy is to place refugees as close to their homes as possible to ease their eventual return to be part of the rebuilding process. This approach also stretches finite resources to help far more people, increasing the impact of every dollar spent.", "Today, grounded in these truths, we are presenting to the world our new National Security Strategy. Based on my direction, this document has been in development for over a year. It has the endorsement of my entire Cabinet.", "What do you have? Go ahead.", "We have a very pro-business group. We have regulations cut to a level--in the history of our country, Klaus--this was reported recently. In one year we've cut more regulations in my administration than any other administration in four, eight, or sixteen years, in the one case. We've cut more regulations in one year, and we have a ways to go. I mean, we're probably 50 percent done.", "In multiple swing states, counting was halted for hours and hours on Election Night, with results withheld from major Democrat-run locations, only to appear later. And they certainly appeared, and they all had the name \"Biden\" on them, or just about all -- I think almost all. They all had the name \"Biden\" on them, which is a little strange.", "Now, the best thing we've done to fix that, Paul, is the fact that the economy is just booming. I mean, that fixes it better than any program we can do, anything we can do at all. But the economy is so strong now and so good, and so many companies are moving in that I really believe that problem--it's a big problem--is going to solve itself. But we're working on it.", "And, you know, when they talk about different tests and different things, we're also a bigger nation than most. And so, when they look at statistics--because, statistically, we're doing phenomenally, in terms of mortality, in terms of all of the different elements that you can judge. When you look, Germany and ourselves are doing very well.", "The United States lost over 3 million manufacturing jobs, nearly a quarter of all steel jobs, and 60,000 factories after China joined the WTO. And we have racked up $13 trillion in trade deficits over the last two decades.", "Come on, Allen. Come on.", "Here in West Virginia, as a result of our tax cuts, the typical family of four will save roughly $2,000 a year. To lower tax rates for hardworking Americans, we nearly doubled the standard deduction for everyone. Now, the first $24,000 earned by a married couple is completely tax-free. And when I came into this beautiful building just a little while ago, one of the people said, \"You know, I just got a check, and I have $221 more than I had last year at this time in my envelope.\"", "And on my worst day -- right? -- on my worst day, my worst -- I won't tell you why it was my worst, but it was not one of those good days -- she got on a bus, got many other buses and women all over North Carolina, and they toured North Carolina. Well, Mark was back sort of semi-supporting another candidate, which he ended up leaving very quickly. I don't think you had a choice, because of your wife, but thank her.", "And when can you guarantee that every single American who needs a test will be able to have a test? What's the date of that?", "So we're renegotiating deals. And you know what? Hate to say it, but if we can't make a fair deal for the United States, we will terminate the deal and we'll start all over again. We have to do it.", "Thank you. Thank you.", "We are supporting the hopes of Cubans, Nicaraguans, and Venezuelans to restore democracy. The United States is leading a 59-nation diplomatic coalition against the socialist dictator of Venezuela, Nicolas Maduro. Maduro is an illegitimate ruler, a tyrant who brutalizes his people. But Maduro's grip on tyranny will be smashed and broken.", "Currently, we are witnessing a human tragedy, as an example, in Venezuela. More than 2 million people have fled the anguish inflicted by the socialist Maduro regime and its Cuban sponsors.", "Top AI experts are now using this wealth of data to gain insights into potential therapies. And we're collaborating with tech firms, universities, and our national labs to harness American supercomputers in the search for treatments and vaccines. That search is going on, and it's being--I think you'll see in the future--you'll see it's very successful. Ultimately, it'll be a tremendous success. Great progress is being made at a rapid pace--a pace like no other.", "Yeah, well, that's true. And we are looking at many different things, as you know. You know some of them, they've been written about very widely. But we're going to be releasing a paper in about two hours stating quite a few other steps. Very important ones.", "In America, we believe in the majesty of freedom and the dignity of the individual. We believe in self-government and the rule of law. And we prize the culture that sustains our liberty -- a culture built on strong families, deep faith, and fierce independence. We celebrate our heroes, we treasure our traditions, and above all, we love our country.", "The First Lady and I just visited the Manchester Fire Department Safe Station. Talking about it all over the country. The Fire Chief, Dan Goonan, and all of the first responders with us today, thank you. You've been incredible, and you're saving American lives.", "You might think of it as an interstate when it's flowing in along well, and you have a crash in one place--it backs up. And that's what's happening in the food supply chain. But we're working through that.", "And we have--this country, for so many years, has been ripped off by everybody, whether it's a World Health or World Trade. And they're like--I call them the \"Bobbsey Twins.\" They'd look at our country--for years and years, we had people that did nothing about it. We're doing a lot about it. So we'll have a report.", "The Obama administration couldn't have done it. Number one, they probably wouldn't have done it. And number two, they didn't have the capability to do it.", "Yeah. A lot has been accomplished. We're dealing with them, we're talking to them.", "My administration is also taking swift action in other ways to restore American confidence and independence. We are lifting self-imposed restrictions on energy production to provide affordable power to our citizens and businesses, and to promote energy security for our friends all around the world. No country should be held hostage to a single provider of energy.", "Earlier this year, we slashed student loans' interest rates to zero percent and suspended student loan payments, and Congress extended that policy through September 30th. Today, I'm extending this policy through the end of the year, and we'll extend it further than that--most likely, right after December 1st. So we look like we're going to be extending that. They're paying zero interest. And again, not their fault that their colleges are closed down and not their fault that they're unable to get what they bargained for."], "obama": ["Now, yesterday the Senate blocked a bill that would have created this commission, so I'll issue an Executive order that will allow us to go forward, because I refuse to pass this problem on to another generation of Americans. And when the vote comes tomorrow, the Senate should restore the pay-as-you-go law that was a big reason for why we had record surpluses in the 1990s.", "It's really important for us to remember our history. Unless you're one of the first Americans, a Native American, you came from someplace else. Somebody brought you.", "Second, we've estimated that most of this plan can be paid for by finding savings within the existing health care system, a system that is currently full of waste and abuse. Right now, too much of the hard-earned savings and tax dollars we spend on health care don't make us any healthier. That's not my judgment; it's the judgment of medical professionals across this country. And this is also true when it comes to Medicare and Medicaid.", "And, yes, my plan will continue to reduce the carbon pollution that is heating our planet -- because climate change is not a hoax. More droughts and floods and wildfires are not a joke. They are a threat to our children's future. And in this election, you can do something about it.", "That promise is our greatest inheritance. It's a promise I make to my daughters when I tuck them in at night, and a promise that you make to yours - a promise that has led immigrants to cross oceans and pioneers to travel west; a promise that led workers to picket lines, and women to reach for the ballot.", "Now, I have heard rumors that a few of you still have concerns about our new health care law. So let me be the first to say that anything can be improved. If you have ideas about how to improve this law by making care better or more affordable, I am eager to work with you. We can start right now by correcting a flaw in the legislation that has placed an unnecessary bookkeeping burden on small businesses.", "And four years ago, we started Race to the Top -- a competition that convinced almost every state to develop smarter curricula and higher standards, all for about 1 percent of what we spend on education each year. Tonight, I'm announcing a new challenge to redesign America's high schools so they better equip graduates for the demands of a high-tech economy. And we'll reward schools that develop new partnerships with colleges and employers, and create classes that focus on science, technology, engineering and math -- the skills today's employers are looking for to fill the jobs that are there right now and will be there in the future.", "The Americans who crossed this bridge, they were not physically imposing. But they gave courage to millions. They held no elected office. But they led a nation. They marched as Americans who had endured hundreds of years of brutal violence, countless daily indignities -- but they didn't seek special treatment, just the equal treatment promised to them almost a century before.", "Now, since I last spoke here two years ago, our country has been through a terrible trial. More than 8 million people have lost their jobs. Countless small businesses have had to shut their doors. Trillions of dollars in savings have been lost -- forcing seniors to put off retirement, young people to postpone college, entrepreneurs to give up on the dream of starting a company. And as a nation we were forced to take unprecedented steps to rescue the financial system and the broader economy.", "First of all, I want to make sure that, once again, I send my thoughts and prayers, as well as Michelle's, to the family of Trayvon Martin, and to remark on the incredible grace and dignity with which they've dealt with the entire situation. I can only imagine what they're going through, and it's remarkable how they've handled it.", "So we're going to reach out to CEOs and we're going to reach out to workers, and we're going to reach out to college presidents and we're going to reach out to students. We'll talk to Democrats and independents -- and, yes, I will be asking Republicans to get involved because this has to be our core project for the next decade.", "For all the challenges that lie ahead, we see many reasons to be hopeful. In Egypt, we see it in the efforts of young people who led protests. In Syria, we see it in the courage of those who brave bullets while chanting, \"peaceful, peaceful.\" In Benghazi, a city threatened with destruction, we see it in the courthouse square where people gather to celebrate the freedoms that they had never known. Across the region, those rights that we take for granted are being claimed with joy by those who are prying loose the grip of an iron fist.", "Along with others, he began drilling a 2,000-foot hole into the ground, working three- or four-hour -- three or four days at a time without any sleep. Thirty-seven days later, Plan B succeeded, and the miners were rescued. But because he didn't want all of the attention, Brandon wasn't there when the miners emerged. He'd already gone back home, back to work on his next project.", "But it is also incumbent upon all of us to insist that nations like Iran and North Korea do not game the system. Those who claim to respect international law cannot avert their eyes when those laws are flouted. Those who care for their own security cannot ignore the danger of an arms race in the Middle East or East Asia. Those who seek peace cannot stand idly by as nations arm themselves for nuclear war.", "And while my opponent would spend more money on military hardware that our Joint Chiefs don't even want, I will use the money we're no longer spending on war to pay down our debt and put more people back to work rebuilding roads and bridges and schools and runways. Because after two wars that have cost us thousands of live and over a trillion dollars, it's time to do some nation-building right here at home.", "Tonight, you voted for action, not politics as usual. You elected us to focus on your jobs, not ours. And in the coming weeks and months, I am looking forward to reaching out and working with leaders of both parties to meet the challenges we can only solve together: reducing our deficit; reforming our tax code; fixing our immigration system; freeing ourselves from foreign oil. We've got more work to do.", "That is our generation's task -- to make these words, these rights, these values of life and liberty and the pursuit of happiness real for every American. Being true to our founding documents does not require us to agree on every contour of life. It does not mean we all define liberty in exactly the same way or follow the same precise path to happiness. Progress does not compel us to settle centuries-long debates about the role of government for all time, but it does require us to act in our time.", "Our infrastructure used to be the best, but our lead has slipped. South Korean homes now have greater Internet access than we do. Countries in Europe and Russia invest more in their roads and railways than we do. China is building faster trains and newer airports. Meanwhile, when our own engineers graded our nation's infrastructure, they gave us a \"D.\"", "For now decisions are upon us and we cannot afford delay. We cannot mistake absolutism for principle, or substitute spectacle for politics, or treat name-calling as reasoned debate. We must act, knowing that our work will be imperfect. We must act, knowing that today's victories will be only partial and that it will be up to those who stand here in four years and 40 years and 400 years hence to advance the timeless spirit once conferred to us in a spare Philadelphia hall.", "Because we know we can't build our economic future on the transportation and information networks of the past, we are remaking the American landscape with the largest new investment in our nation's infrastructure since Eisenhower built an Interstate Highway System in the 1950s. Because of this investment, nearly 400,000 men and women will go to work rebuilding our crumbling roads and bridges, repairing our faulty dams and levees, bringing critical broadband connections to businesses and homes in nearly every community in America, upgrading mass transit, building high-speed rail lines that will improve travel and commerce throughout our nation.", "There is much to show for our efforts, even as there is much work to be done. The global economy has been pulled back from the brink of a depression, and is growing once more. We have resisted protectionism, and are exploring ways to expand trade and commerce among nations. But we cannot -- and will not -- rest until these seeds of progress grow into a broader prosperity, not only for all Americans, but for peoples around the globe.", "America, we weaken those ties when we allow our political dialogue to become so corrosive that people of good character aren't even willing to enter into public service; so coarse with rancor that Americans with whom we disagree are seen not just as misguided, but as malevolent. We weaken those ties when we define some of us as more American than others, when we write off the whole system as inevitably corrupt, and when we sit back and blame the leaders we elect without examining our own role in electing them.", "Now, only you can determine what kind of democracy you will have. But remember that as you make these decisions, you will define not simply the future of your relationship with the Palestinians -- you will define the future of Israel as well.", "This future will not be easy to reach. It will not come without setbacks, nor will it be quickly claimed. But the founding of the United Nations itself is a testament to human progress. Remember, in times that were far more trying than our own, our predecessors chose the hope of unity over the ease of division and made a promise to future generations that the dignity and equality of human beings would be our common cause.", "So I'm here, off Exit 9, on the banks of the Old Raritan at the site of one of the original nine colonial colleges. Winners of the first-ever college football game. One of the newest members of the Big Ten. Home of what I understand to be a Grease Truck for a Fat Sandwich. Mozzarella sticks and chicken fingers on your cheesesteaks -- I'm sure Michelle would approve.", "Israel has built a prosperous nation -- through kibbutzeem that made the desert bloom, business that broadened the middle class, innovators who reached new frontiers, from the smallest microchip to the orbits of space. Israel has established a thriving democracy, with a spirited civil society and proud political parties, and a tireless free press, and a lively public debate -- \"lively\" may even be an understatement.", "After all, politics alone has not put protesters into the streets. The tipping point for so many people is the more constant concern of putting food on the table and providing for a family. Too many people in the region wake up with few expectations other than making it through the day, perhaps hoping that their luck will change. Throughout the region, many young people have a solid education, but closed economies leave them unable to find a job. Entrepreneurs are brimming with ideas, but corruption leaves them unable to profit from those ideas.", "In the end, our security and leadership does not come solely from the strength of our arms. It derives from our people -- from the workers and businesses who will rebuild our economy; from the entrepreneurs and researchers who will pioneer new industries; from the teachers that will educate our children, and the service of those who work in our communities at home; from the diplomats and Peace Corps volunteers who spread hope abroad; and from the men and women in uniform who are part of an unbroken line of sacrifice that has made government of the people, by the people, and for the people a reality on this Earth.", "I recognize that times have changed since I first spoke to this convention. The times have changed, and so have I. I'm no longer just a candidate. I'm the President.", "Now, let's be clear about what it isn't. This deal does not apply to anyone who has come to this country recently. It does not apply to anyone who might come to America illegally in the future. It does not grant citizenship, or the right to stay here permanently, or offer the same benefits that citizens receive -- only Congress can do that. All we're saying is we're not going to deport you.", "We believed we could reverse the tide of outsourcing and draw new jobs to our shores. And over the past five years, our businesses have created more than 11 million new jobs.", "Because of a diplomatic effort to insist that Iran meet its obligations, the Iranian government now faces tougher sanctions, tighter sanctions than ever before. And on the Korean Peninsula, we stand with our ally South Korea, and insist that North Korea keeps its commitment to abandon nuclear weapons.", "Indeed, our efforts in this young century have led us to a new concept for NATO that will give us the capabilities needed to meet new threats -- threats like terrorism and piracy, cyber attacks and ballistic missiles. But a revitalized NATO will continue to hew to that original vision of its founders, allowing us to rally collective action for the defense of our people, while building upon the broader belief of Roosevelt and Churchill that all nations have both rights and responsibilities, and all nations share a common interest in an international architecture that maintains the peace.", "It's not because John McCain doesn't care. It's because John McCain doesn't get it.", "This completes a transition to Iraqi responsibility for their own security. U. S. troops pulled out of Iraq's cities last summer, and Iraqi forces have moved into the lead with considerable skill and commitment to their fellow citizens. Even as Iraq continues to suffer terrorist attacks, security incidents have been near the lowest on record since the war began. And Iraqi forces have taken the fight to al Qaeda, removing much of its leadership in Iraqi-led operations.", "And we're also going to have to do more for the long-term unemployed. For people who have been out of work for more than six months, often through no fault of their own, life is a catch-22. Companies won't give their resume an honest look because they've been laid off so long -- but they've been laid off so long because companies won't give their resume an honest look. And that's why earlier this year, I challenged CEOs from some of America's best companies to give these Americans a fair shot. And next month, many of them will join us at the White House for an announcement about this.", "And with so much at stake, what the American people don't want from us, especially here in Washington, is to spend the next two years refighting the political battles of the last two. We just had a tough election. We will have another in 2012. I'm not so naive as to think that everybody will put politics aside until then, but I do hope to make progress on the very serious problems facing us right now. And that's going to require all of us, including me, to work harder at building consensus.", "Race to the Top is the most meaningful reform of our public schools in a generation. For less than 1 percent of what we spend on education each year, it has led over 40 states to raise their standards for teaching and learning. And these standards were developed, by the way, not by Washington, but by Republican and Democratic governors throughout the country. And Race to the Top should be the approach we follow this year as we replace No Child Left Behind with a law that's more flexible and focused on what's best for our kids.", "When it comes to our budget, we should not be stuck in a stale debate from two years ago or three years ago. A relentlessly growing deficit of opportunity is a bigger threat to our future than our rapidly shrinking fiscal deficit.", "Judge John Roll served our legal system for nearly 40 years. A graduate of this university and a graduate of this law school Judge Roll was recommended for the federal bench by John McCain 20 years ago appointed by President George H. W. Bush and rose to become Arizona's chief federal judge.", "And to all who serve or have served, it has been the honor of my lifetime to be your Commander in Chief. And we all owe you a deep debt of gratitude.", "But I promise you this: The closer we get, the more emotional this debate is going to become. Immigration has always been an issue that enflames passions. That's not surprising. There are few things that are more important to us as a society than who gets to come here and call our country home; who gets the privilege of becoming a citizen of the United States of America. That's a big deal.", "We'll have to use diplomacy, because no one nation can meet the challenges of an interconnected world acting alone. I've spent this year renewing our alliances and forging new partnerships. And we have forged a new beginning between America and the Muslim world -- one that recognizes our mutual interest in breaking a cycle of conflict, and that promises a future in which those who kill innocents are isolated by those who stand up for peace and prosperity and human dignity.", "These education policies will open the doors of opportunity for our children, but it is up to us to ensure they walk through them. In the end, there is no program or policy that can substitute for a parent, for a mother or father who will attend those parent/teacher conferences or help with homework or turn off the TV, put away the video games, read to their child. I speak to you not just as a President, but as a father, when I say that responsibility for our children's education must begin at home. That is not a Democratic issue or a Republican issue; that's an American issue.", "This country of ours has more wealth than any nation, but that's not what makes us rich. We have the most powerful military on Earth, but that's not what makes us strong. Our universities and our culture are the envy of the world, but that's not what keeps the world coming to our shores.", "And by the way, I want to acknowledge our First Lady, Michelle Obama, who this year is creating a national movement to tackle the epidemic of childhood obesity and make kids healthier. Thank you, honey. She gets embarrassed.", "As has already been mentioned, Christina was given to us on September 11th, 2001, one of 50 babies born that day to be pictured in a book called \"Faces of Hope.\" On either side of her photo in that book were simple wishes for a child's life. \"I hope you help those in need,\" read one. \"I hope you know all the words to the National Anthem and sing it with your hand over your heart.\" \"I hope you jump in rain puddles.\"", "Today, after a difficult decade that began with war and ended in recession, our nations have arrived at a pivotal moment once more. A global economy that once stood on the brink of depression is now stable and recovering. After years of conflict, the United States has removed 100,000 troops from Iraq, the United Kingdom has removed its forces, and our combat mission there has ended. In Afghanistan, we've broken the Taliban's momentum and will soon begin a transition to Afghan lead. And nearly 10 years after 9/11, we have disrupted terrorist networks and dealt al Qaeda a huge blow by killing its leader -- Osama bin Laden.", "In fact, faith should bring us together. And that's why we're forging service projects in America to bring together Christians, Muslims, and Jews. That's why we welcome efforts like Saudi Arabian King Abdallah's interfaith dialog and Turkey's leadership in the Alliance of Civilizations. Around the world, we can turn dialog into interfaith service, so bridges between peoples lead to action, whether it is combating malaria in Africa or providing relief after a natural disaster.", "And we will safeguard America's own security against those who threaten our citizens, our friends, and our interests. Look at Iran. Through the power of our diplomacy, a world that was once divided about how to deal with Iran's nuclear program now stands as one. The regime is more isolated than ever before; its leaders are faced with crippling sanctions, and as long as they shirk their responsibilities, this pressure will not relent.", "That's what a college education can be all about. That's what inspires your President, that's what inspires the faculty. That's why when we see young people like you, we're inspired -- because you're an expression of that idea. And we've got to make sure that that continues -- not just for this generation, but for the next generation.", "We have to tell Congress it's time to restore the ban on military-style assault weapons, and a 10-round limit for magazines, to make it harder for a gunman to fire 154 bullets into his victims in less than five minutes. Let's put that to a vote.", "Let's see, let's get a print guy here. David.", "Some folks want wind and solar. Others want nuclear, clean coal and natural gas. To meet this goal, we will need them all -- and I urge Democrats and Republicans to work together to make it happen.", "But if election-year politics keeps Congress from acting on a comprehensive plan, let's at least agree to stop expelling responsible young people who want to staff our labs, start new businesses, defend this country. Send me a law that gives them the chance to earn their citizenship. I will sign it right away.", "Next, we can put Americans to work today building the infrastructure of tomorrow. From the first railroads to the Interstate Highway System, our Nation has always been built to compete. There's no reason Europe or China should have the fastest trains or the new factories that manufacture clean energy products. Tomorrow I'll visit Tampa, Florida, where workers will soon break ground on a new high-speed railroad funded by the Recovery Act. There are projects like that all across this country that will create jobs and help move our Nation's goods, services, and information.", "That's not the message we get from leaders around the world who are eager to work with us. That's not how people feel from Tokyo to Berlin, from Cape Town to Rio, where opinions of America are higher than they've been in years. Yes, the world is changing. No, we can't control every event. But America remains the one indispensable nation in world affairs -- and as long as I'm President, I intend to keep it that way.", "The renewal of American leadership can be felt across the globe. Our oldest alliances in Europe and Asia are stronger than ever. Our ties to the Americas are deeper. Our ironclad commitment -- and I mean ironclad -- to Israel's security has meant the closest military cooperation between our two countries in history.", "But the truth is, these steps won't make up for the 7 million jobs that we've lost over the last 2 years. The only way to move to full employment is to lay a new foundation for long-term economic growth and finally address the problems that America's families have confronted for years.", "Because families like Rebekah's still need our help. She and Ben are working as hard as ever, but they've had to forego vacations and a new car so that they can pay off student loans and save for retirement. Friday night pizza, that's a big splurge. Basic childcare for Jack and Henry costs more than their mortgage, and almost as much as a year at the University of Minnesota. Like millions of hardworking Americans, Rebekah isn't asking for a handout, but she is asking that we look for more ways to help families get ahead.", "And it is American diplomacy, backed by pressure, that has halted the progress of Iran's nuclear program - and rolled parts of that program back - for the very first time in a decade. As we gather here tonight, Iran has begun to eliminate its stockpile of higher levels of enriched uranium. It is not installing advanced centrifuges. Unprecedented inspections help the world verify, every day, that Iran is not building a bomb. And with our allies and partners, we're engaged in negotiations to see if we can peacefully achieve a goal we all share: preventing Iran from obtaining a nuclear weapon.", "As for our common security, America is waging a more effective fight against al Qaeda, while winding down the war in Iraq. Since I took office, the United States has removed nearly 100,000 troops from Iraq. We have done so responsibly, as Iraqis have transitioned to lead responsibility for the security of their country.", "And now you have a choice: We can give more tax breaks to corporations that ship jobs overseas, or we can start rewarding companies that open new plants and train new workers and create new jobs here, in the United States of America. We can help big factories and small businesses double their exports, and if we choose this path, we can create a million new manufacturing jobs in the next four years. You can make that happen. You can choose that future.", "This budget builds on these reforms. It includes a historic commitment to comprehensive health care reform, a down payment on the principle that we must have quality, affordable health care for every American. It's a commitment that's paid for in part by efficiencies in our system that are long overdue. And it's a step we must take if we hope to bring down our deficit in the years to come.", "I am also -- I'm also well aware that there are many Republicans who don't believe we should raise taxes on those who are most fortunate and can best afford it. But here is what every American knows: While most people in this country struggle to make ends meet, a few of the most affluent citizens and most profitable corporations enjoy tax breaks and loopholes that nobody else gets. Right now, Warren Buffett pays a lower tax rate than his secretary -- an outrage he has asked us to fix. We need a tax code where everyone gets a fair shake and where everybody pays their fair share. And by the way, I believe the vast majority of wealthy Americans and CEOs are willing to do just that if it helps the economy grow and gets our fiscal house in order.", "So I think that it's realistic for us to get a package moving quickly that may not include all the things I think need to be done, and it may be that that first package builds some trust and confidence that Democrats and Republicans on Capitol Hill can work together and then we move on to the next aspect of the package and so forth. It may take a series of incremental steps, but the one thing I'm absolutely clear about is, is that we've got an economy that's growing right now, a huge boost in productivity -- that's the good news. The bad news is, is that companies still haven't taken that final step in actually putting people on their payroll full-time.", "Over the years, our cultures have blended together. Dr. Carlos Finlay's work in Cuba paved the way for generations of doctors, including Walter Reed, who drew on Dr. Finlay's work to help combat Yellow Fever. Just as Marti wrote some of his most famous words in New York, Ernest Hemingway made a home in Cuba, and found inspiration in the waters of these shores. We share a national past-time -- La Pelota -- and later today our players will compete on the same Havana field that Jackie Robinson played on before he made his Major League debut. And it's said that our greatest boxer, Muhammad Ali, once paid tribute to a Cuban that he could never fight -- saying that he would only be able to reach a draw with the great Cuban, Teofilo Stevenson.", "The third part of our response plan is the steps we're taking to ensure that a disaster like this does not happen again. A few months ago, I approved a proposal to consider new, limited offshore drilling under the assurance that it would be absolutely safe -- that the proper technology would be in place and the necessary precautions would be taken.", "To Joe Biden, the scrappy kid from Scranton who became Delaware's favorite son, you were the first decision I made as a nominee, and it was the best. Not just because you have been a great Vice President, but because in the bargain, I gained a brother. And we love you and Jill like family, and your friendship has been one of the great joys of our lives.", "Now these questions are not new. War, in one form or another, appeared with the first man. At the dawn of history, its morality was not questioned; it was simply a fact, like drought or disease -- the manner in which tribes and then civilizations sought power and settled their differences.", "The 21st century government that's open and competent. A government that lives within its means. An economy that's driven by new skills and new ideas. Our success in this new and changing world will require reform, responsibility, and innovation. It will also require us to approach that world with a new level of engagement in our foreign affairs.", "Finally, because we're also suffering from a deficit of trust, I am committed to restoring a sense of honesty and accountability to our budget. That is why this budget looks ahead 10 years and accounts for spending that was left out under the old rules. And for the first time, that includes the full cost of fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan. For 7 years, we have been a nation at war. No longer will we hide its price.", "Well, I already discussed a couple with Chip that haven't been acted on yet. You're right that I made these proposals two months ago, but -- or three months ago -- but it was in the midst of a campaign season where it was doubtful that they were going to get a full hearing, just because there was so much political noise going on.", "So I recognize that Speaker Boehner has got challenges in his caucus. I recognize that it's very hard for Republican leaders to be perceived as making concessions to me. Sometimes, I reflect is there something else I could do to make these guys -- I'm not talking about the leaders now, but maybe some of the House Republican caucus members -- not paint horns on my head. And I genuinely believe that there's an opportunity for us to cooperate.", "Now, the reason Natoma is not here today is that she's lying on a hospital bed, suddenly faced with this emergency -- suddenly faced with the fight of her life. She expects to face more than a month of aggressive chemotherapy. She is racked with worry not only about her illness but about the costs of the tests and the treatment that she's surely going to need to beat it.", "And this is important, because no development strategy can be based only upon what comes out of the ground, nor can it be sustained while young people are out of work. Many Gulf States have enjoyed great wealth as a consequence of oil, and some are beginning to focus it on broader development. But all of us must recognize that education and innovation will be the currency of the 21st century, and in too many Muslim communities there remains underinvestment in these areas. I'm emphasizing such investment within my own country. And while America in the past has focused on oil and gas when it comes to this part of the world, we now seek a broader engagement.", "Centuries ago, when kings, emperors, and warlords reigned over much of the world, it was the English who first spelled out the rights and liberties of man in the Magna Carta. It was here, in this very hall, where the rule of law first developed, courts were established, disputes were settled, and citizens came to petition their leaders.", "Such open discourse is important even if what is said does not square with our worldview. Let me be clear, America respects the right of all peaceful and law-abiding voices to be heard, even if we disagree with them. And sometimes we profoundly disagree with them.", "America, our work will not be easy. The challenges we face require tough choices, and Democrats as well as Republicans will need to cast off the worn-out ideas and politics of the past. For part of what has been lost these past eight years can't just be measured by lost wages or bigger trade deficits. What has also been lost is our sense of common purpose - our sense of higher purpose. And that's what we have to restore.", "Now, that spirit of discovery is in our DNA. America is Thomas Edison and the Wright Brothers and George Washington Carver. America is Grace Hopper and Katherine Johnson and Sally Ride. America is every immigrant and entrepreneur from Boston to Austin to Silicon Valley, racing to shape a better world. That's who we are.", "But now that the worst of the recession is over, we have to confront the fact that our government spends more than it takes in. That is not sustainable. Every day, families sacrifice to live within their means. They deserve a government that does the same.", "The only thing this plan would eliminate is the hundreds of billions of dollars in waste and fraud as well as unwarranted subsidies in Medicare that go to insurance companies, subsidies that do everything to pad their profits but don't improve the care of seniors. And we will also create an independent commission of doctors and medical experts charged with identifying more waste in the years ahead.", "Then, last August, after years of painstaking work by our intelligence community, I was briefed on a possible lead to bin Laden. It was far from certain, and it took many months to run this thread to ground. I met repeatedly with my national security team as we developed more information about the possibility that we had located bin Laden hiding within a compound deep inside of Pakistan. And finally, last week, I determined that we had enough intelligence to take action, and authorized an operation to get Osama bin Laden and bring him to justice.", "For example, over the years, a parade of lobbyists has rigged the tax code to benefit particular companies and industries. Those with accountants or lawyers to work the system can end up paying no taxes at all. But all the rest are hit with one of the highest corporate tax rates in the world. It makes no sense, and it has to change.", "You see, the flow of credit is the lifeblood of our economy. The ability to get a loan is how you finance the purchase of everything from a home to a car to a college education, how stores stock their shelves, farms buy equipment, and businesses make payroll.", "By the end of this decade, two in three job openings will require some higher education -- two in three. And yet, we still live in a country where too many bright, striving Americans are priced out of the education they need. It's not fair to them, and it's sure not smart for our future. That's why I'm sending this Congress a bold new plan to lower the cost of community college -- to zero.", "Thank you. Well, I'm excited, too.", "Now let there be no doubt. The Republican nominee, John McCain, has worn the uniform of our country with bravery and distinction, and for that we owe him our gratitude and respect. And next week, we'll also hear about those occasions when he's broken with his party as evidence that he can deliver the change that we need.", "Many people watching tonight can probably remember a time when finding a good job meant showing up at a nearby factory or a business downtown. You didn't always need a degree, and your competition was pretty much limited to your neighbors. If you worked hard, chances are you'd have a job for life, with a decent paycheck and good benefits and the occasional promotion. Maybe you'd even have the pride of seeing your kids work at the same company.", "Bin Laden was no martyr. He was a mass murderer who offered a message of hate -- an insistence that Muslims had to take up arms against the West, and that violence against men, women and children was the only path to change. He rejected democracy and individual rights for Muslims in favor of violent extremism; his agenda focused on what he could destroy -- not what he could build.", "We're the firefighters who rushed into those buildings on 9/11, the volunteers who signed up to fight in Afghanistan and Iraq. We're the gay Americans whose blood ran in the streets of San Francisco and New York, just as blood ran down this bridge.", "Of course, this burden is not ours alone to bear. This is not just America's war. Since 9/11, al Qaeda's safe havens have been the source of attacks against London and Amman and Bali. The people and governments of both Afghanistan and Pakistan are endangered. And the stakes are even higher within a nuclear-armed Pakistan, because we know that al Qaeda and other extremists seek nuclear weapons, and we have every reason to believe that they would use them.", "In high school, Alan watched his friends come of age -- driving around town with their new licenses, earning some extra cash from their summer jobs at the mall. He knew he couldn't do those things. But it didn't matter that much. What mattered to Alan was earning an education so that he could live up to his God-given potential.", "And, Newtown, we want you to know that we're here with you. We will not walk away from the promises we've made. We are as determined as ever to do what must be done. In fact, I'm here to ask you to help me show that we can get it done. We're not forgetting.", "So, drawing from what we've learned around the world, we think it's important to focus on trade, not just aid; on investment, not just assistance. The goal must be a model in which protectionism gives way to openness, the reigns of commerce pass from the few to the many, and the economy generates jobs for the young. America's support for democracy will therefore be based on ensuring financial stability, promoting reform, and integrating competitive markets with each other and the global economy. And we're going to start with Tunisia and Egypt.", "As for Israel, our friendship is rooted deeply in a shared history and shared values. Our commitment to Israel's security is unshakeable. And we will stand against attempts to single it out for criticism in international forums. But precisely because of our friendship, it's important that we tell the truth: The status quo is unsustainable, and Israel too must act boldly to advance a lasting peace.", "Let us, each of us, now embrace with solemn duty and awesome joy what is our lasting birthright. With common effort and common purpose, with passion and dedication, let us answer the call of history and carry into an uncertain future that precious light of freedom.", "So tonight I'm proposing that we take $30 billion of the money Wall Street banks have repaid and use it to help community banks give small businesses the credit they need to stay afloat. I'm also proposing a new small business tax credit, one that will go to over 1 million small businesses who hire new workers or raise wages. While we're at it, let's also eliminate all capital gains taxes on small-business investment and provide a tax incentive for all large businesses and all small businesses to invest in new plants and equipment.", "We share a common interest in resolving conflicts that prolong human suffering and threaten to tear whole regions asunder. In Sudan, after years of war and thousands of deaths, we call on both North and South to pull back from the brink of violence and choose the path of peace. And in the Middle East, we stand united in our support for a secure Israel and a sovereign Palestine.", "In a place like New York City, 14,000 teachers who were set to be let go may now be able to continue pursuing their critical mission. It's an investment that will create a new $2,500 annual tax credit to put the dream of a college degree within reach for middle-class families and make college affordable for 7 million students helping more of our sons and daughters aim higher, reach further, fulfill their God-given potential.", "We should follow the example of a North Miami woman named Desiline Victor. When Desiline arrived at her polling place, she was told the wait to vote might be six hours. And as time ticked by, her concern was not with her tired body or aching feet, but whether folks like her would get to have their say. And hour after hour, a throng of people stayed in line to support her -- because Desiline is 102 years old. And they erupted in cheers when she finally put on a sticker that read, \"I voted.\"", "Audience member. We love you!", "Now, peace must be made by Israelis and Palestinians, but each of us has a responsibility to do our part as well. Those of us who are friends of Israel must understand that true security for the Jewish state requires an independent Palestine -- one that allows the Palestinian people to live with dignity and opportunity. And those of us who are friends of the Palestinians must understand that the rights of the Palestinian people will be won only through peaceful means -- including genuine reconciliation with a secure Israel.", "Now, when I was talking about this at that health care summit, some of you saw it -- I sat there for about seven hours; I know you guys watched the whole thing. But some of these folks said, well, we just -- that's a nice idea but we just can't afford to do that. Look, I want everybody to understand -- the wealthiest among us can already buy the best insurance there is. The least well among us, the poorest among us, they get their health care through Medicaid. So it's the middle class, it's working people that are getting squeezed, and that's who we have to help, and we can afford to do it.", "But I also know this: If people had made that decision 50 years ago or 100 years ago or 200 years ago, we wouldn't be here tonight. The only reason we are here is because generations of Americans were unafraid to do what was hard, to do what was needed even when success was uncertain, to do what it took to keep the dream of this Nation alive for their children and their grandchildren.", "Because there has never been a leak this size at this depth, stopping it has tested the limits of human technology. That's why just after the rig sank, I assembled a team of our nation's best scientists and engineers to tackle this challenge -- a team led by Dr. Steven Chu, a Nobel Prize-winning physicist and our nation's Secretary of Energy. Scientists at our national labs and experts from academia and other oil companies have also provided ideas and advice.", "And my hope is that my Republican friends, but also Democrats, say to themselves, let's be practical and let's do both. Let's not just do one or the other; let's do both. Over time I think the transition is going to be more and more clean energy and over time fossil fuels become less prominent in our overall energy mix. But we've got to do both.", "Now, my health care proposal has also been attacked by some who oppose reform as a Government takeover of the entire health care system. As proof, critics point to a provision in our plan that allows the uninsured and small businesses to choose a publicly sponsored insurance option, administered by the Government just like Medicaid or Medicare.", "I refuse to go along with that and as long as I'm President, I never will. I refuse to ask middle-class families to give up their deductions for owning a home or raising their kids just to pay for another millionaire's tax cut.", "We have to do better. America is the nation that built the transcontinental railroad, brought electricity to rural communities, constructed the Interstate Highway System. The jobs created by these projects didn't just come from laying down track or pavement. They came from businesses that opened near a town's new train station or the new off-ramp.", "We should follow the example of a police officer named Brian Murphy. When a gunman opened fire on a Sikh temple in Wisconsin and Brian was the first to arrive, he did not consider his own safety. He fought back until help arrived and ordered his fellow officers to protect the safety of the Americans worshiping inside, even as he lay bleeding from 12 bullet wounds. And when asked how he did that, Brian said, \"That's just the way we're made.\"", "We do these things because they help promote our long-term security. And we do them because we believe in the inherent dignity and equality of every human being, regardless of race or religion, creed or sexual orientation. And next week, the world will see one expression of that commitment - when Team USA marches the red, white, and blue into the Olympic Stadium - and brings home the gold.", "Thank you. May God bless you. And may God bless the United States of America.", "If you're a foreign student who wants to pursue a career in science or technology, or a foreign entrepreneur who wants to start a business with the backing of American investors, we should help you do that here. Because if you succeed, you'll create American businesses and American jobs. You'll help us grow our economy. You'll help us strengthen our middle class.", "Most Americans support the types of reforms I've talked about tonight. But I understand the disagreements held by many of you at home. Millions of us, myself included, go back generations in this country, with ancestors who put in the painstaking work to become citizens. So we don't like the notion that anyone might get a free pass to American citizenship.", "When I spoke here last winter, this Nation was facing the worst economic crisis since the Great Depression. We were losing an average of 700,000 jobs per month, credit was frozen, and our financial system was on the verge of collapse.", "These are the rough waters encountered during the course of one of America's longest wars. Yet there has been one constant amidst these shifting tides. At every turn, America's men and women in uniform have served with courage and resolve. As Commander-in-Chief, I am incredibly proud of their service. And like all Americans, I'm awed by their sacrifice, and by the sacrifices of their families.", "I have acknowledged more than once that we didn't roll out parts of this law as well as we should have. But the law is already working in major ways that benefit millions of Americans right now, even as we've begun to slow the rise in health care costs, which is good for family budgets, good for federal and state budgets, and good for the budgets of businesses small and large. So this law is going to work. And for the sake of our economic security, it needs to work.", "Well, Savannah, I think that what I think is absolutely true is voters are not satisfied with the outcomes. If right now we had 5 percent unemployment instead of 9.6 percent unemployment, then people would have more confidence in those policy choices. The fact is, is that for most folks, proof of whether they work or not is has the economy gotten back to where it needs to be. And it hasn't.", "Now, the premise that we're all created equal is the opening line in the American story. And while we don't promise equal outcomes, we have strived to deliver equal opportunity -- the idea that success doesn't depend on being born into wealth or privilege, it depends on effort and merit. And with every chapter we've added to that story, we've worked hard to put those words into practice.", "There are also those who criticized our decision to end parts of Constellation as one that will hinder space exploration below low Earth orbit. But it's precisely by investing in groundbreaking research and innovative companies that we will have the potential to rapidly transform our capabilities -- even as we build on the important work already completed, through projects like Orion, for future missions. And unlike the previous program, we are setting a course with specific and achievable milestones.", "We gather tonight knowing that this generation of heroes has made the United States safer and more respected around the world. For the first time in nine years, there are no Americans fighting in Iraq. For the first time in two decades, Osama bin Laden is not a threat to this country. Most of al Qaeda's top lieutenants have been defeated. The Taliban's momentum has been broken, and some troops in Afghanistan have begun to come home.", "And that's why, for the past 8 years, I've worked to put the fight against terrorism on a firmer legal footing. That's why we've ended torture, worked to close Gitmo, reformed our laws governing surveillance to protect privacy and civil liberties. That's why I reject discrimination against Muslim Americans, who are just as patriotic as we are.", "Now, there are some who question the scale of our ambitions--who suggest that our system cannot tolerate too many big plans. Their memories are short. For they have forgotten what this country has already done; what free men and women can achieve when imagination is joined to common purpose, and necessity to courage.", "The small businesses I talk to -- and I've been talking to a lot of them as I've been traveling around the country over the last several months -- their biggest problem is right now they can't get credit out of their banks so they're uncertain about that. And they're still uncertain about orders -- do they just have enough customers to justify them doing more.", "And the good thing about America is that sometimes we get to these bottlenecks and we get stuck, and you have these sharp, partisan fights, but the American people pretty steadily are common sense and practical, and eventually, that common-sense, practical approach wins out. And I think that's what will happen here as well.", "And this idea that somehow there's a secret formula or secret sauce to get Speaker Boehner or Mitch McConnell to say, you know what, Mr. President, you're right, we should close some tax loopholes for the well-off and well-connected in exchange for some serious entitlement reform and spending cuts of programs we don't need. I think if there was a secret way to do that, I would have tried it. I would have done it.", "Now, we can't look at the past through rose-colored glasses. The economy didn't always work for everyone. Racial discrimination locked millions out of poverty -- or out of opportunity. Women were too often confined to a handful of often poorly paid professions. And it was only through painstaking struggle that more women, and minorities, and Americans with disabilities began to win the right to more fairly and fully participate in the economy.", "Negotiations will be necessary, but there's little secret about where they must lead -- two states for two peoples. Two states for two peoples.", "Our economy is stronger when we harness the talents and ingenuity of striving, hopeful immigrants. And right now, leaders from the business, labor, law enforcement, faith communities -- they all agree that the time has come to pass comprehensive immigration reform. Now is the time to do it. Now is the time to get it done. Now is the time to get it done.", "And we know that good guys came. The first responders who raced to the scene, helping to guide those in harm's way to safety, and comfort those in need, holding at bay their own shock and trauma because they had a job to do, and others needed them more.", "I raise this point, I begin with this point because in many countries there is a deep ambivalence about military action today, no matter what the cause. And at times, this is joined by a reflexive suspicion of America, the world's sole military superpower.", "The President. Thank you.", "Let's offer incentives to companies that hire Americans who've got what it takes to fill that job opening, but have been out of work so long that no one will give them a chance anymore. Let's put people back to work rebuilding vacant homes in run-down neighborhoods. And this year, my administration will begin to partner with 20 of the hardest-hit towns in America to get these communities back on their feet. We'll work with local leaders to target resources at public safety, and education, and housing.", "But for my final address to this chamber, I don't want to just talk about next year. I want to focus on the next five years, the next 10 years, and beyond. I want to focus on our future.", "For generations, this promise helped people weather poverty and persecution, while holding on to the hope that a better day was on the horizon. For me, personally, growing up in far-flung parts of the world and without firm roots, the story spoke to a yearning within every human being for a home.", "This has always been the history of our progress. In 1935, when over half of our seniors could not support themselves and millions had seen their savings wiped away, there were those who argued that Social Security would lead to socialism, but the men and women of Congress stood fast, and we are all the better for it. In 1965, when some argued that Medicare represented a Government takeover of health care, Members of Congress, Democrats and Republicans, did not back down. They joined together so that all of us could enter our golden years with some basic peace of mind.", "And with effort, we can protect the foundation stone of our democracy for which so many marched across this bridge -- and that is the right to vote. Right now, in 2015, 50 years after Selma, there are laws across this country designed to make it harder for people to vote. As we speak, more of such laws are being proposed. Meanwhile, the Voting Rights Act, the culmination of so much blood, so much sweat and tears, the product of so much sacrifice in the face of wanton violence, the Voting Rights Act stands weakened, its future subject to political rancor.", "I noticed that Nicole and others refer to that day as \"12/14.\" For these families, it was a day that changed everything. And I know many of you in Newtown wondered if the rest of us would live up to the promise we made in those dark days -- if we'd change, too; or if once the television trucks left, once the candles flickered out, once the teddy bears were carefully gathered up, that the country would somehow move on to other things.", "Good evening. Tonight, I'd like to talk to you about the end of our combat mission in Iraq, the ongoing security challenges we face, and the need to rebuild our nation here at home.", "And this becomes particularly important when the purpose of military action extends beyond self-defense or the defense of one nation against an aggressor. More and more, we all confront difficult questions about how to prevent the slaughter of civilians by their own government, or to stop a civil war whose violence and suffering can engulf an entire region.", "The question before us is what role America will play as this story unfolds. For decades, the United States has pursued a set of core interests in the region: countering terrorism and stopping the spread of nuclear weapons; securing the free flow of commerce and safe-guarding the security of the region; standing up for Israel's security and pursuing Arab-Israeli peace.", "On science and technology, we will launch a new fund to support technological development in Muslim-majority countries and to help transfer ideas to mark--to the marketplace so they can create more jobs. We'll open centers of scientific excellence in Africa, the Middle East, and Southeast Asia and appoint new science envoys to collaborate on programs that develop new sources of energy, create green jobs, digitize records, clean water, grow new crops. Today I'm announcing a new global effort with the Organization of the Islamic Conference to eradicate polio. And we will also expand partnerships with Muslim communities to promote child and maternal health.", "In this budget, we will end education programs that don't work and end direct payments to large agribusiness that don't need them. We'll eliminate the no-bid contracts that have wasted billions in Iraq and reform our defense budget so that we're not paying for cold war-era weapons systems we don't use. We will root out the waste and fraud and abuse in our Medicare program that doesn't make our seniors any healthier. We will restore a sense of fairness and balance to our Tax Code by finally ending the tax breaks for corporations that ship our jobs overseas.", "It's a faith in the future that sustains us as a people. It is that same faith that sustains our neighbors in the Gulf right now.", "After all, that's the spirit that has always moved this nation forward. It's the spirit of citizenship - the recognition that through hard work and responsibility, we can pursue our individual dreams, but still come together as one American family to make sure the next generation can pursue its dreams as well.", "Now, this effort will take time. It will require focus. But we will succeed. And tonight, I call on this Congress to show the world that we are united in this mission by passing a resolution to authorize the use of force against ISIL. We need that authority.", "Going forward, a transitional force of U. S. troops will remain in Iraq with a different mission: advising and assisting Iraq's Security Forces, supporting Iraqi troops in targeted counterterrorism missions, and protecting our civilians. Consistent with our agreement with the Iraqi government, all U. S. troops will leave by the end of next year. As our military draws down, our dedicated civilians -- diplomats, aid workers, and advisors -- are moving into the lead to support Iraq as it strengthens its government, resolves political disputes, resettles those displaced by war, and builds ties with the region and the world. That's a message that Vice President Biden is delivering to the Iraqi people through his visit there today.", "For our American story is not -- and has never been -- about things coming easy. It's about rising to the moment when the moment is hard, and converting crisis into opportunity, and seeing to it that we emerge from whatever trials we face stronger than we were before. It's about rejecting the notion that our fate is somehow written for us, and instead laying claim to a destiny of our own making. That's what earlier generations of Americans have done, that's what we owe our children, that's what we are doing today.", "I also hear from many business leaders who want to hire in the United States but can't find workers with the right skills. Growing industries in science and technology have twice as many openings as we have workers who can do the job. Think about that -- openings at a time when millions of Americans are looking for work. It's inexcusable. And we know how to fix it.", "Those ties began only 11 minutes after Israeli independence, when the United States was the first nation to recognize the State of Israel. As President Truman said in explaining his decision to recognize Israel, he said, \"I believe it has a glorious future before it not just as another sovereign nation, but as an embodiment of the great ideals of our civilization.\" And since then, we've built a friendship that advances our shared interests.", "Open society supports open government, but it cannot substitute for it. There is no right more fundamental than the ability to choose your leaders and determine your destiny. Now, make no mistake: The ultimate success of democracy in the world won't come because the United States dictates it; it will come because individual citizens demand a say in how they are governed.", "We believed that sensible regulations could prevent another crisis, shield families from ruin, and encourage fair competition. Today, we have new tools to stop taxpayer-funded bailouts, and a new consumer watchdog to protect us from predatory lending and abusive credit card practices. And in the past year alone, about 10 million uninsured Americans finally gained the security of health coverage.", "If this tragedy prompts reflection and debate -- as it should -- let's make sure it's worthy of those we have lost. Let's make sure it's not on the usual plane of politics and point-scoring and pettiness that drifts away in the next news cycle.", "Twenty-first century businesses will rely on American science and technology, research and development. I want the country that eliminated polio and mapped the human genome to lead a new era of medicine -- one that delivers the right treatment at the right time.", "Adam Smith's central insight remains true today: There is no greater generator of wealth and innovation than a system of free enterprise that unleashes the full potential of individual men and women. That's what led to the Industrial Revolution that began in the factories of Manchester. That is what led to the dawn of the Information Age that arose from the office parks of Silicon Valley. That's why countries like China, India and Brazil are growing so rapidly -- because in fits and starts, they are moving toward market-based principles that the United States and the United Kingdom have always embraced.", "In the next few days, I will submit a budget to Congress. So often, we've come to view these documents as simply numbers on a page or a laundry list of programs. I see this document differently. I see it as a vision for America, as a blueprint for our future.", "And she upped her deductible last year to the minimum , the highest possible deductible. But despite that, Natoma's insurance company raised her premiums by more than 25 percent. And over the past year, she paid more than $6,000 in monthly premiums.", "My answer is simple: I will not put American boots on the ground in Syria. I will not pursue an open-ended action like Iraq or Afghanistan. I will not pursue a prolonged air campaign like Libya or Kosovo. This would be a targeted strike to achieve a clear objective: deterring the use of chemical weapons, and degrading Assad's capabilities.", "Now, I understand that when the last administration asked this Congress to provide assistance for struggling banks, Democrats and Republicans alike were infuriated by the mismanagement and the results that followed. So were the American taxpayers; so was I. So I know how unpopular it is to be seen as helping banks right now, especially when everyone is suffering in part from their bad decisions. I promise you, I get it.", "That's what this debate is all about. We need more than politics as usual when it comes to immigration. We need reasoned, thoughtful, compassionate debate that focuses on our hopes, not our fears. I know the politics of this issue are tough. But let me tell you why I have come to feel so strongly about it.", "And tonight, I urge this Congress to finally pass the legislation we need to better meet the evolving threat of cyber attacks, combat identity theft, and protect our children's information. That should be a bipartisan effort.", "First, middle-class economics means helping working families feel more secure in a world of constant change. That means helping folks afford childcare, college, health care, a home, retirement. And my budget will address each of these issues, lowering the taxes of working families and putting thousands of dollars back into their pockets each year.", "Above all, our freedom endures because of the men and women in uniform who defend it. As they come home, we must serve them as well as they've served us. That includes giving them the care and the benefits they have earned -- which is why we've increased annual VA spending every year I've been President. And it means enlisting our veterans in the work of rebuilding our nation.", "There are other factors involved. Given the frustration in the international community about this conflict, Israel needs to reverse an undertow of isolation. And given the march of technology, the only way to truly protect the Israeli people over the long term is through the absence of war. Because no wall is high enough and no Iron Dome is strong enough or perfect enough to stop every enemy that is intent on doing so from inflicting harm.", "So, my fellow Americans, whatever you may believe, whether you prefer one party or no party, whether you supported my agenda or fought as hard as you could against it -- our collective futures depends on your willingness to uphold your duties as a citizen. To vote. To speak out. To stand up for others, especially the weak, especially the vulnerable, knowing that each of us is only here because somebody, somewhere, stood up for us. We need every American to stay active in our public life -- and not just during election time -- so that our public life reflects the goodness and the decency that I see in the American people every single day.", "There are other steps we can take to help families make ends meet, and few are more effective at reducing inequality and helping families pull themselves up through hard work than the Earned Income Tax Credit. Right now, it helps about half of all parents at some point. But I agree with Republicans like Senator Rubio that it doesn't do enough for single workers who don't have kids. So let's work together to strengthen the credit, reward work, and help more Americans get ahead.", "No, no -- this is part of the lively debate that we talked about. This is good. You know, I have to say we actually arranged for that, because it made me feel at home. I wouldn't feel comfortable if I didn't have at least one heckler.", "No one -- no single step can change overnight what lies in the hearts and minds of millions. No single step is going to erase years of history and propaganda. But progress with the Palestinians is a powerful way to begin, while sidelining extremists who thrive on conflict and thrive on division. It would make a difference.", "These challenges come at a time when the international order has already been reshaped for a new century. Countries like China, India, and Brazil are growing by leaps and bounds. We should welcome this development, for it has lifted hundreds of millions from poverty around the globe, and created new markets and opportunities for our own nations.", "You know, I'm sure there are going to be areas, particularly around, for example, reforming how Washington works, that I'll be interested in. I think the American people want to see more transparency, more openness. As I said, in the midst of economic crisis, I think one of the things I take responsibility for is not having pushed harder on some of those issues. And I think if you take Republicans and Democrats at their word this is an area that they want to deliver on for the American people, I want to be supportive of that effort.", "We also know that progress in the most impoverished parts of our world enriches us all -- not only because it creates new markets, more stable order in certain regions of the world, but also because it's the right thing to do. In many places, people live on little more than a dollar a day. So the United States will join with our allies to eradicate such extreme poverty in the next two decades by connecting more people to the global economy; by empowering women; by giving our young and brightest minds new opportunities to serve, and helping communities to feed, and power, and educate themselves; by saving the world's children from preventable deaths; and by realizing the promise of an AIDS-free generation, which is within our reach.", "I'll also offer ideas to reform a corporate tax code that stands as a monument to special interest influence in Washington. By eliminating pages of loopholes and deductions, we can lower one of the highest corporate tax rates in the world. Our tax code should not give an advantage to companies that can afford the best-connected lobbyists. It should give an advantage to companies that invest and create jobs right here in the United States of America.", "Our experience with shale gas, our experience with natural gas, shows us that the payoffs on these public investments don't always come right away. Some technologies don't pan out; some companies fail. But I will not walk away from the promise of clean energy. I will not walk away from workers like Bryan. I will not cede the wind or solar or battery industry to China or Germany because we refuse to make the same commitment here.", "And yet too often, these words are ignored. For some countries, the failure to uphold human rights is excused by the false suggestion that these are somehow Western principles, foreign to local cultures or stages of a nation's development. And within America, there has long been a tension between those who describe themselves as realists or idealists -- a tension that suggests a stark choice between the narrow pursuit of interests or an endless campaign to impose our values around the world.", "I have come here to bury the last remnant of the Cold War in the Americas. I have come here to extend the hand of friendship to the Cuban people.", "So even as our governments became adversaries, our people continued to share these common passions, particularly as so many Cubans came to America. In Miami or Havana, you can find places to dance the Cha-Cha-Cha or the Salsa, and eat ropa vieja. People in both of our countries have sung along with Celia Cruz or Gloria Estefan, and now listen to reggaeton or Pitbull. Millions of our people share a common religion -- a faith that I paid tribute to at the Shrine of our Lady of Charity in Miami, a peace that Cubans find in La Cachita.", "To the Muslim world, we seek a new way forward, based on mutual interest and mutual respect. To those leaders around the globe who seek to sow conflict, or blame their society's ills on the West, know that your people will judge you on what you can build, not what you destroy. To those who cling to power through corruption and deceit and the silencing of dissent, know that you are on the wrong side of history; but that we will extend a hand if you are willing to unclench your fist.", "But as I stand here tonight, I have never been more hopeful about America. Not because I think I have all the answers. Not because I'm naive about the magnitude of our challenges. I'm hopeful because of you.", "First, in dealing with those nations that break rules and laws, I believe that we must develop alternatives to violence that are tough enough to actually change behavior -- for if we want a lasting peace, then the words of the international community must mean something. Those regimes that break the rules must be held accountable. Sanctions must exact a real price. Intransigence must be met with increased pressure -- and such pressure exists only when the world stands together as one.", "Let us resist the temptation to fall back on the same partisanship and pettiness and immaturity that has poisoned our politics for so long. Let us remember that it was a man from this state who first carried the banner of the Republican Party to the White House - a party founded on the values of self-reliance, individual liberty, and national unity. Those are values we all share, and while the Democratic Party has won a great victory tonight, we do so with a measure of humility and determination to heal the divides that have held back our progress. As Lincoln said to a nation far more divided than ours, \"We are not enemies, but friends... though passion may have strained it must not break our bonds of affection.\" And to those Americans whose support I have yet to earn - I may not have won your vote, but I hear your voices, I need your help, and I will be your President too.", "This past week, reporters have been asking, \"What will this speech mean for the President? What will it mean for Congress? How will it affect their polls, and the next election?\"", "So NASA, from the start, several months ago when I issued my budget, was one of the areas where we didn't just maintain a freeze but we actually increased funding by $6 billion. By doing that we will ramp up robotic exploration of the solar system, including a probe of the Sun's atmosphere; new scouting missions to Mars and other destinations; and an advanced telescope to follow Hubble, allowing us to peer deeper into the universe than ever before.", "I don't pretend that this plan will solve all our problems. It should not be, nor will it be, the last plan of action we propose. What's guided us from the start of this crisis hasn't been the search for a silver bullet. It's been a commitment to stay at it -- to be persistent -- to keep trying every new idea that works, and listen to every good proposal, no matter which party comes up with it.", "Now, we also know that military power alone is not going to solve the problems in Afghanistan and Pakistan. That's why we plan to invest $1.5 billion each year over the next 5 years to partner with Pakistanis to build schools and hospitals, roads and businesses, and hundreds of millions to help those who've been displaced. That's why we are providing more than $2.8 billion to help Afghans develop their economy and deliver services that people depend on.", "And that's what the young people here today and listening all across the country must take away from this day. You are America. Unconstrained by habit and convention. Unencumbered by what is, because you're ready to seize what ought to be.", "We do not know whether the killer of Reverend Pinckney and eight others knew all of this history. But he surely sensed the meaning of his violent act. It was an act that drew on a long history of bombs and arson and shots fired at churches, not random, but as a means of control, a way to terrorize and oppress. An act that he imagined would incite fear and recrimination; violence and suspicion. An act that he presumed would deepen divisions that trace back to our nation's original sin.", "My fellow Americans, this has been a difficult decade for our country. We've learned anew the profound cost of war -- a cost that's been paid by the nearly 4,500 Americans who have given their lives in Iraq, and the over 1,500 who have done so in Afghanistan -- men and women who will not live to enjoy the freedom that they defended. Thousands more have been wounded. Some have lost limbs on the battlefield, and others still battle the demons that have followed them home.", "So let me start by being extremely clear: I am 100 percent committed to the mission of NASA and its future. Because broadening our capabilities in space will continue to serve our society in ways that we can scarcely imagine. Because exploration will once more inspire wonder in a new generation -- sparking passions and launching careers. And because, ultimately, if we fail to press forward in the pursuit of discovery, we are ceding our future and we are ceding that essential element of the American character.", "It's too early to tell whether this offer will succeed, and any agreement must verify that the Assad regime keeps its commitments. But this initiative has the potential to remove the threat of chemical weapons without the use of force, particularly because Russia is one of Assad's strongest allies.", "We're the fresh-faced GIs who fought to liberate a continent. And we're the Tuskeegee Airmen, and the Navajo code-talkers, and the Japanese Americans who fought for this country even as their own liberty had been denied.", "Point number one: When you hear someone longing for the \"good old days,\" take it with a grain of salt. Take it with a grain of salt. We live in a great nation and we are rightly proud of our history. We are beneficiaries of the labor and the grit and the courage of generations who came before. But I guess it's part of human nature, especially in times of change and uncertainty, to want to look backwards and long for some imaginary past when everything worked, and the economy hummed, and all politicians were wise, and every kid was well-mannered, and America pretty much did whatever it wanted around the world.", "Moreover, even when the free market works as it should, both our countries recognize that no matter how responsibly we live in our lives, hard times or bad luck, a crippling illness or a layoff may strike any one of us. And so part of our common tradition has expressed itself in a conviction that every citizen deserves a basic measure of security -- health care if you get sick, unemployment insurance if you lose your job, a dignified retirement after a lifetime of hard work. That commitment to our citizens has also been the reason for our leadership in the world.", "Thank you. God bless you. And God bless this country we love.", "We have to tell Congress it's time to strengthen school safety and help people struggling with mental health problems get the treatment they need before it's too late. Let's do that for our kids and for our communities.", "So I've got news for you, John McCain. We all put our country first.", "I think the proposal that I put forward with respect to infrastructure is one that historically we've had bipartisan agreement about. And we should be able to agree now that it makes no sense for China to have better rail systems than us, and Singapore having better airports than us. And we just learned that China now has the fastest supercomputer on Earth -- that used to be us. They're making investments because they know those investments will pay off over the long term.", "In the end, it's our ideals, our values that built America, values that allowed us to forge a nation made up of immigrants from every corner of the globe, values that drive our citizens still. Every day, Americans meet their responsibilities to their families and their employers. Time and again, they lend a hand to their neighbors and give back to their country. They take pride in their labor and are generous in spirit. These aren't Republican values or Democratic values that they're living by, business values or labor values, they're American values.", "ood evening. Tonight, I can report to the American people and to the world that the United States has conducted an operation that killed Osama bin Laden, the leader of al Qaeda, and a terrorist who's responsible for the murder of thousands of innocent men, women, and children.", "Our schools share this responsibility. When a child walks into a classroom, it should be a place of high expectations and high performance. But too many schools don't meet this test. That's why instead of just pouring money into a system that's not working, we launched a competition called Race to the Top. To all 50 states, we said, \"If you show us the most innovative plans to improve teacher quality and student achievement, we'll show you the money.\""], "bush": ["Tax relief is an achievement for families struggling to enter the middle class. For hard-working lower income families, we have cut the bottom rate of Federal income tax from 15 percent to 10 percent. We doubled the per-child tax credit to $1,000 and made it refundable. Tax relief is compassionate, and it is now on the way.", "This is not the threat I see. I see a global terrorist movement that exploits Islam in the service of radical political aims -- a vision in which books are burned, and women are oppressed, and all dissent is crushed. Terrorist operatives conduct their campaign of murder with a set of declared and specific goals -- to de-moralize free nations, to drive us out of the Middle East, to spread an empire of fear across that region, and to wage a perpetual war against America and our friends. These terrorists view the world as a giant battlefield -- and they seek to attack us wherever they can. This has attracted al Qaeda to Iraq, where they are attempting to frighten and intimidate America into a policy of retreat.", "Other men, and groups of men, have gained influence in the Middle East and beyond through an ideology of theocratic terror. Behind their language of religion is the ambition for absolute political power. Ruling cabals like the Taliban show their version of religious piety in public whippings of women, ruthless suppression of any difference or dissent, and support for terrorists who arm and train to murder the innocent. The Taliban promised religious purity and national pride. Instead, by systematically destroying a proud and working society, they left behind suffering and starvation.", "This morning, we have made a good beginning. I expect the upcoming U. N. Special Session and this summer's G-8 summit in Italy to turn these ideas into reality. This is one of those moments that reminds us all in public service why we're here. It challenges us to act wisely and act together and to act quickly. Across the world at this moment, there are people in true desperation, and we must help.", "Tonight I am filled with gratitude--to Vice President Cheney and members of my administration; to Laura, who brought joy to this house and love to my life; to our wonderful daughters, Barbara and Jenna; to my parents, whose examples have provided strength for a lifetime. And above all, I thank the American people for the trust you have given me. I thank you for the prayers that have lifted my spirits. And I thank you for the countless acts of courage, generosity, and grace that I have witnessed these past eight years.", "But manpower can't do it alone. In other words, there has to be some infrastructure along the border to be able to let these agents do their job. And so I appreciate the fact that we've got double fencing, all-weather roads, new lighting, mobile cameras. The American people have no earthly idea what's going on down here. One of the reasons I've come is to let you know, let the taxpayers know, the good folks down here are making progress.", "First, we're working toward a common understanding of the causes behind the global crisis. Different countries will naturally bring different perspectives, but there are some points on which we can all agree:", "Today, these standards, and this security, are challenged. Our commitment to human dignity is challenged by persistent poverty and raging disease. The suffering is great, and our responsibilities are clear. The United States is joining with the world to supply aid where it reaches people and lifts up lives, to extend trade and the prosperity it brings, and to bring medical care where it is desperately needed.", "Good jobs must be the aim of welfare reform. As we reauthorize these important reforms, we must always remember the goal is to reduce dependency on government and offer every American the dignity of a job.", "Now let me explain the main elements of this effort: The Iraqi government will appoint a military commander and two deputy commanders for their capital. The Iraqi government will deploy Iraqi Army and National Police brigades across Baghdad's nine districts. When these forces are fully deployed, there will be 18 Iraqi Army and National Police brigades committed to this effort, along with local police. These Iraqi forces will operate from local police stations -- conducting patrols and setting up checkpoints, and going door-to-door to gain the trust of Baghdad residents.", "By trusting the people, our Founders wagered that a great and noble nation could be built on the liberty that resides in the hearts of all men and women. By trusting the people, succeeding generations transformed our fragile young democracy into the most powerful nation on Earth and a beacon of hope for millions. And so long as we continue to trust the people, our nation will prosper, our liberty will be secure, and the state of our Union will remain strong.", "These gains are evidence of a quiet transformation, a revolution of conscience, in which a rising generation is finding that a life of personal responsibility is a life of fulfillment. Government has played a role. Wise policies, such as welfare reform and drug education and support for abstinence and adoption have made a difference in the character of our country. And everyone here tonight, Democrat and Republican, has a right to be proud of this record.", "Our reforms should be guided by a few basic principles. First, America must control its borders. Following the attacks of September the 11th, 2001, this duty of the federal government has become even more urgent. And we're fulfilling that duty.", "To suspend hostilities, to spare himself, Iraq's dictator accepted a series of commitments. The terms were clear, to him and to all. And he agreed to prove he is complying with every one of those obligations.", "Undocumented workers now here will be required to pay a one-time fee to register for the temporary worker program. Those who seek to join the program from abroad, and have complied with our immigration laws, will not have to pay any fee. All participants will be issued a temporary worker card that will allow them to travel back and forth between their home and the United States without fear of being denied re-entry into our country.", "Sixty years of Western nations excusing and accommodating the lack of freedom in the Middle East did nothing to make us safe -- because in the long run, stability cannot be purchased at the expense of liberty. As long as the Middle East remains a place where freedom does not flourish, it will remain a place of stagnation, resentment, and violence ready for export. And with the spread of weapons that can bring catastrophic harm to our country and to our friends, it would be reckless to accept the status quo.", "All these steps require decisive actions from governments around the world. At the same time, we must recognize that government intervention is not a cure-all. For example, some blame the crisis on insufficient regulation of the American mortgage market. But many European countries had much more extensive regulations, and still experienced problems almost identical to our own.", "Third, we must enhance the integrity of our financial markets. For example, authorities in every nation should take a fresh look at the rules governing market manipulation and fraud -- and ensure that investors are properly protected.", "When we met last year, militia extremists--some armed and trained by Iran--were wreaking havoc in large areas of Iraq. A year later, coalition and Iraqi forces have killed or captured hundreds of militia fighters. And Iraqis of all backgrounds increasingly realize that defeating these militia fighters is critical to the future of their country.", "A strong America must also value the institution of marriage. I believe we should respect individuals as we take a principled stand for one of the most fundamental, enduring institutions of our civilization. Congress has already taken a stand on this issue by passing the Defense of Marriage Act, signed in 1996 by President Clinton. That statute protects marriage under federal law as a union of a man and a woman and declares that one state may not redefine marriage for other states.", "A hopeful society depends on courts that deliver equal justice under the law. The Supreme Court now has two superb new members on its bench, Chief Justice John Roberts and Justice Sam Alito. I thank the Senate for confirming both of them. I will continue to nominate men and women who understand that judges must be servants of the law and not legislate from the bench.", "The beginnings of reform and democracy in the Palestinian territories are showing the power of freedom to break old patterns of violence and failure. Tomorrow morning, Secretary of State Rice departs on a trip that will take her to Israel and the West Bank for meetings with Prime Minister Sharon and President Abbas. She will discuss with them how we and our friends can help the Palestinian people end terror and build the institutions of a peaceful, independent democratic state. To promote this democracy, I will ask Congress for $350 million to support Palestinian political, economic, and security reforms. The goal of two democratic states, Israel and Palestine, living side by side in peace is within reach--and America will help them achieve that goal.", "Steve Chabot of Ohio, Van Hilleary of Tennessee -- thank you both for coming, as well. In that box is the bill. I don't intend to read it all. It's not exactly light reading. But if you were to read it all, you would find that it contains some very important principles that will help guide our public school system for the next decades.", "Good morning. The global devastation of HIV/AIDS staggers the imagination and shocks the conscience. The disease has already killed over 20 million people and it's poised to kill at least 40 million more.", "Securing the border is a critical part of a strategy for comprehensive immigration reform. It is an important part of a reform that is necessary so that the Border Patrol agents down here can do their job more effectively. Congress is going to take up the legislation on immigration. It is a matter of national interest and it's a matter of deep conviction for me. I've been working to bring Republicans and Democrats together to resolve outstanding issues so that Congress can pass a comprehensive bill and I can sign it into law this year.", "On the critical issue of health care, our goal is to ensure that Americans can choose and afford private health care coverage that best fits their individual needs. To make insurance more affordable, Congress must act to address rapidly rising health care costs. Small businesses should be able to band together and negotiate for lower insurance rates, so they can cover more workers with health insurance. I urge you to pass association health plans. I ask you to give lower income Americans a refundable tax credit that would allow millions to buy their own basic health insurance.", "The reason why is not only do we have beds, we've expedited the legal process to cut the average deportation time. Now, these are non-Mexican illegal aliens that we've caught trying to sneak into our country. We're making it clear to foreign governments that they must accept back their citizens who violate our immigration laws. I said we're going to effectively end catch and release, and we have. And I appreciate your hard work in doing that.", "By caring for children who need mentors and for addicted men and women who need treatment, we are building a more welcoming society, a culture that values every life. And in this work, we must not overlook the weakest among us. I ask you to protect infants at the very hour of their birth and end the practice of partial-birth abortion. And because no human life should be started or ended as the object of an experiment, I ask you to set a high standard for humanity and pass a law against all human cloning.", "His tax -- his policies of tax and spend -- of expanding government rather than expanding opportunity -- are the policies of the past. We are on the path to the future -- and we're not turning back.", "The bill includes other provisions to help American consumers and businesses. It includes tax incentives for businesses to invest and create jobs. It temporarily expands federal insurance for bank and credit union deposits from $100,000 to $250,000 -- a vital safeguard for consumers and small businesses. It provides families with relief from the Alternative Minimum Tax, which would otherwise increase taxes for 26 million taxpayers by an average of $2,200.", "Keeping America competitive requires us to open more markets for all that Americans make and grow. One out of every five factory jobs in America is related to global trade, and we want people everywhere to buy American. With open markets and a level playing field, no one can outproduce or outcompete the American worker.", "We're confronting hatred that is centuries old, disputes that have lingered for decades. But I want you to know, I will continue to lead toward a vision of peace.", "Madam Speaker, Vice President Cheney, members of Congress, distinguished guests, and fellow citizens: The rite of custom brings us together at a defining hour when decisions are hard and courage is needed. We enter the year 2007 with large endeavors underway and others that are ours to begin. In all of this, much is asked of us. We must have the will to face difficult challenges and determined enemies and the wisdom to face them together.", "I want to thank George Miller. I call him Big George, Jorge el Grande. As John mentioned, George and I aren't from the same political ideology -- except when I met with George in Austin, I could tell he shares the same passion I share for making sure that every child gets educated. And he, like me and others, realize that a system that simply shuffles children through the schools is a system that's going to leave people behind. And so we made up our minds right then and there to do something about it.", "Tonight we welcome two leaders who embody the extraordinary spirit of all New Yorkers: Governor George Pataki, and Mayor Rudolph Giuliani. As a symbol of America's resolve, my administration will work with Congress, and these two leaders, to show the world that we will rebuild New York City.", "My father served eight years at the side of another great American -- Ronald Reagan. His spirit of optimism and goodwill and decency are in this hall, and are in our hearts, and will always define our party.", "And tonight, the United States of America makes the following demands on the Taliban: Deliver to United States authorities all the leaders of al Qaeda who hide in your land. Release all foreign nationals, including American citizens, you have unjustly imprisoned. Protect foreign journalists, diplomats, and aid workers in your country. Close immediately and permanently every terrorist training camp in Afghanistan, and hand over every terrorist, and every person in their support structure, to appropriate authorities. Give the United States full access to terrorist training camps, so we can make sure they are no longer operating.", "He has proven instead only his contempt for the United Nations, and for all his pledges. By breaking every pledge -- by his deceptions, and by his cruelties -- Saddam Hussein has made the case against himself.", "Tonight, we face new and sudden national challenges. We will come together to improve air safety, to dramatically expand the number of air marshals on domestic flights, and take new measures to prevent hijacking. We will come together to promote stability and keep our airlines flying, with direct assistance during this emergency.", "And a fourth principle is that we're going to spend more money, more resources, but they'll be directed at methods that work. Not feel-good methods, not sound-good methods, but methods that actually work. Particularly when it comes to reading. We're going to spend more on our schools, and we're going to spend it more wisely.", "From the start, America and our allies have protected our people by staying on the offense. The enemy knows that the days of comfortable sanctuary, easy movement, steady financing, and free flowing communications are long over. For the terrorists, life since 9/11 has never been the same.", "Homeland defense and missile defense are part of stronger security, and they're essential priorities for America. Yet the war on terror will not be won on the defensive. We must take the battle to the enemy, disrupt his plans, and confront the worst threats before they emerge. In the world we have entered, the only path to safety is the path of action. And this nation will act.", "Many first responders were victims themselves, wounded healers, with a sense of duty greater than their own suffering. When I met Steve Scott of the Biloxi Fire Department, he and his colleagues were conducting a house-to-house search for survivors. Steve told me this: \"I lost my house and I lost my cars, but I still got my family ... and I still got my spirit.\"", "For much of the last century, America's defense relied on the Cold War doctrines of deterrence and containment. In some cases, those strategies still apply. But new threats also require new thinking. Deterrence -- the promise of massive retaliation against nations -- means nothing against shadowy terrorist networks with no nation or citizens to defend. Containment is not possible when unbalanced dictators with weapons of mass destruction can deliver those weapons on missiles or secretly provide them to terrorist allies.", "The enemies you confront will come to know your skill and bravery. The people you liberate will witness the honorable and decent spirit of the American military. In this conflict, America faces an enemy who has no regard for conventions of war or rules of morality. Saddam Hussein has placed Iraqi troops and equipment in civilian areas, attempting to use innocent men, women and children as shields for his own military -- a final atrocity against his people.", "The same is true of Iran, a nation now held hostage by a small clerical elite that is isolating and repressing its people. The regime in that country sponsors terrorists in the Palestinian territories and in Lebanon, and that must come to an end. The Iranian government is defying the world with its nuclear ambitions, and the nations of the world must not permit the Iranian regime to gain nuclear weapons. America will continue to rally the world to confront these threats.", "A few of you have followed in the path of the perfect West Point graduate, Robert E. Lee, who never received a single demerit in four years. Some of you followed in the path of the imperfect graduate, Ulysses S. Grant, who had his fair share of demerits, and said the happiest day of his life was \"the day I left West Point.\" During my college years I guess you could say I was -- During my college years I guess you could say I was a Grant man.", "Trade brings better jobs and better choices and better prices. Yet for some Americans, trade can mean losing a job, and the federal government has a responsibility to help. I ask Congress to reauthorize and reform trade adjustment assistance so we can help these displaced workers learn new skills and find new jobs.", "American consumers understand why: If you hear that a car company is suddenly going into bankruptcy, you worry that parts and servicing will not be available, and you question the value of your warranty. And with consumers hesitant to buy new cars from struggling automakers, it would be more difficult for auto companies to recover.", "Tax relief makes the code more fair for small businesses and farmers and individuals by eliminating the death tax. Over the long haul, tax relief will encourage work and innovation. It will allow American workers to save more on their pension plan or individual retirement accounts.", "My administration supports the important work of the intelligence committees in Congress to review the activities of law enforcement and intelligence agencies. We need to know when warnings were missed or signs unheeded -- not to point the finger of blame, but to make sure we correct any problems, and prevent them from happening again.", "As a result of private research, more than 60 genetically diverse stem cell lines already exist. They were created from embryos that have already been destroyed, and they have the ability to regenerate themselves indefinitely, creating ongoing opportunities for research. I have concluded that we should allow federal funds to be used for research on these existing stem cell lines, where the life and death decision has already been made.", "We made a lot of progress, thanks to good policies here in Washington and the strong response of the market. And now even more dramatic advances are within reach. Tonight I ask Congress to join me in pursuing a great goal. Let us build on the work we've done and reduce gasoline usage in the United States by 20 percent in the next 10 years. When we do that, we will have cut our total imports by the equivalent of three-quarters of all the oil we now import from the Middle East.", "Hugh Iverson from West Des Moines, Iowa, just got his Medicare membership. And that's a good thing, because he hasn't had health insurance for more than three years. His drug bills total at least $400 a month. Within two years, with the $35 a month coverage, he will be able to cut those bills nearly in half, saving him about $2,400 a year.", "There are two other pressing challenges that I've raised repeatedly before this body and that this body has failed to address: entitlement spending and immigration. Every member in this chamber knows that spending on entitlement programs like Social Security, Medicare, and Medicaid is growing faster than we can afford. We all know the painful choices ahead if America stays on this path: massive tax increases, sudden and drastic cuts in benefits, or crippling deficits. I've laid out proposals to reform these programs. Now I ask members of Congress to offer your proposals and come up with a bipartisan solution to save these vital programs for our children and our grandchildren.", "Third, after a number of setbacks, our coalition is moving forward with a reconstruction plan to revive Iraq's economy and infrastructure -- and to give Iraqis confidence that a free life will be a better life. Today in Iraq, seven in 10 Iraqis say their lives are going well, and nearly two-thirds expect things to improve even more in the year ahead. Despite the violence, Iraqis are optimistic -- and that optimism is justified.", "Afghanistan's people have been brutalized--many are starving and many have fled. Women are not allowed to attend school. You can be jailed for owning a television. Religion can be practiced only as their leaders dictate. A man can be jailed in Afghanistan if his beard is not long enough.", "As President, I have seen the transformative power of trade up close. I've been to a Caterpillar factory in East Peoria, Illinois, where thousands of good-paying American jobs are supported by exports. I've walked the grounds of a trade fair in Ghana, where I met women who support their families by exporting handmade dresses and jewelry. I've spoken with a farmer in Guatemala who decided to grow high-value crops he could sell overseas -- and helped create more than 1,000 jobs.", "Addressing the challenges in the auto industry requires us to balance these two responsibilities. If we were to allow the free market to take its course now, it would almost certainly lead to disorderly bankruptcy and liquidation for the automakers. Under ordinary economic circumstances, I would say this is the price that failed companies must pay -- and I would not favor intervening to prevent the automakers from going out of business.", "If the Iraqi regime wishes peace, it will release or account for all Gulf War personnel whose fate is still unknown. It will return the remains of any who are deceased, return stolen property, accept liability for losses resulting from the invasion of Kuwait, and fully cooperate with international efforts to resolve these issues, as required by Security Council resolutions.", "On the first issue, are these embryos human life -- well, one researcher told me he believes this five-day-old cluster of cells is not an embryo, not yet an individual, but a pre-embryo. He argued that it has the potential for life, but it is not a life because it cannot develop on its own.", "Since the removal of Saddam, this war, like other wars in our history, has been difficult. The mission of American troops in urban raids and desert patrols, fighting Saddam loyalists and foreign terrorists, has brought danger and suffering and loss. This loss has caused sorrow for our whole nation -- and it has led some to ask if we are creating more problems than we're solving.", "Today the great powers are also increasingly united by common values, instead of divided by conflicting ideologies. The United States, Japan and our Pacific friends, and now all of Europe, share a deep commitment to human freedom, embodied in strong alliances such as NATO. And the tide of liberty is rising in many other nations.", "This nation can lead the world in sparing innocent people from a plague of nature. And this nation is leading the world in confronting and defeating the manmade evil of international terrorism.", "To encourage right choices, we must be willing to confront the dangers young people face, even when they're difficult to talk about. Each year, about three million teenagers contract sexually transmitted diseases that can harm them or kill them or prevent them from ever becoming parents. In my budget, I propose a grassroots campaign to help inform families about these medical risks. We will double federal funding for abstinence programs, so schools can teach this fact of life: Abstinence for young people is the only certain way to avoid sexually transmitted diseases.", "Together, these Americans and Iraqi forces have driven the terrorists from many of the sanctuaries they once held. Now the terrorists have gathered in and around the northern Iraqi city of Mosul, and Iraqi and American forces are relentlessly pursuing them. There will be tough fighting in Mosul and areas of northern Iraq in the weeks ahead. But there's no doubt in my mind, because of the courage of our troops and the bravery of the Iraqis, the Al Qaida terrorists in this region will suffer the same fate as Al Qaida suffered elsewhere in Iraq.", "The Iraqi people quickly realized that something dramatic had happened. Those who had worried that America was preparing to abandon them instead saw tens of thousands of American forces flowing into their country. They saw our forces moving into neighborhoods, clearing out the terrorists, and staying behind to ensure the enemy did not return. And they saw our troops, along with Provincial Reconstruction Teams that include Foreign Service officers and other skilled public servants, coming in to ensure that improved security was followed by improvements in daily life. Our military and civilians in Iraq are performing with courage and distinction, and they have the gratitude of our whole nation.", "The surge has done more than turn the situation in Iraq around, it has opened the door to a major strategic victory in the broader war on terror. For the terrorists, Iraq was supposed to be the place where Al Qaida rallied Arab masses to drive America out. Instead, Iraq has become the place where Arabs joined with Americans to drive Al Qaida out. In Iraq, we are witnessing the first large-scale Arab uprising against Osama bin Laden, his grim ideology, and his murderous network. And the significance of this development cannot be overstated.", "The last time we met in this chamber, the mothers and daughters of Afghanistan were captives in their own homes, forbidden from working or going to school. Today women are free and are part of Afghanistan's new government. And we welcome the new Minister of Women's Affairs, Dr. Sima Samar.", "The wasted human lives that lie behind these numbers are a call to action for every person on the planet and for every government. So, today, my administration is announcing another important new initiative in the fight against HIV/AIDS.", "It is my honor to welcome our friend, the President of Nigeria, to the Rose Garden. Mr. President, welcome to Washington, the Rose Garden. And of course, Kofi Annan, the Secretary General of the United Nations, Mr. Secretary General, thank you for coming.", "There is more to do. We need to prepare our children to read and succeed in school with improved Head Start and early childhood development programs. We must upgrade our teacher colleges and teacher training and launch a major recruiting drive with a great goal for America, a quality teacher in every classroom.", "Just as we trust Americans with their own money, we need to earn their trust by spending their tax dollars wisely. Next week, I'll send you a budget that terminates or substantially reduces 151 wasteful or bloated programs, totaling more than $18 billion. The budget that I will submit will keep America on track for a surplus in 2012. American families have to balance their budgets; so should their government.", "Generations of West Point officers planned and practiced for battles with Soviet Russia. I've just returned from a new Russia, now a country reaching toward democracy, and our partner in the war against terror. Even in China, leaders are discovering that economic freedom is the only lasting source of national wealth. In time, they will find that social and political freedom is the only true source of national greatness.", "The work that has begun in the Gulf Coast region will be one of the largest reconstruction efforts the world has ever seen. When that job is done, all Americans will have something to be very proud of -- and all Americans are needed in this common effort. It is the armies of compassion -- charities and houses of worship, and idealistic men and women -- that give our reconstruction effort its humanity. They offer to those who hurt a friendly face, an arm around the shoulder, and the reassurance that in hard times, they can count on someone who cares. By land, by sea, and by air, good people wanting to make a difference deployed to the Gulf Coast, and they've been working around the clock ever since.", "In this century, the greatest environmental progress will come about not through endless lawsuits or command-and-control regulations but through technology and innovation. Tonight I'm proposing $1.2 billion in research funding so that America can lead the world in developing clean, hydrogen-powered automobiles.", "There were moments this week when some thought the federal government could not rise to the challenge. But thanks to the hard work of members of both parties in both Houses -- and a spirit of cooperation between Capitol Hill and my administration -- we completed this bill in a timely manner. I'm especially grateful for the contributions of Speaker Nancy Pelosi, Minority Leader John Boehner, Majority Leader Steny Hoyer, Minority Whip Roy Blunt, Chairman Barney Frank, Ranking Member Spencer Bachus.", "You walk in the tradition of Eisenhower and MacArthur, Patton and Bradley - the commanders who saved a civilization. And you walk in the tradition of second lieutenants who did the same, by fighting and dying on distant battlefields.", "My hope is that all nations will heed our call and eliminate the terrorist parasites who threaten their countries and our own. Many nations are acting forcefully. Pakistan is now cracking down on terror, and I admire the strong leadership of President Musharraf. But some governments will be timid in the face of terror. And make no mistake about it: If they do not act, America will.", "Some critics have said our duties in Iraq must be internationalized. This particular criticism is hard to explain to our partners in Britain, Australia, Japan, South Korea, the Philippines, Thailand, Italy, Spain, Poland, Denmark, Hungary, Bulgaria, Ukraine, Romania, the Netherlands, Norway, El Salvador, and the 17 other countries that have committed troops to Iraq. As we debate at home, we must never ignore the vital contributions of our international partners or dismiss their sacrifices.", "Protecting our nation from the dangers of a new century requires more than good intelligence and a strong military. It also requires changing the conditions that breed resentment and allow extremists to prey on despair. So America is using its influence to build a freer, more hopeful, and more compassionate world. This is a reflection of our national interests; it is the calling of our conscience.", "And the federal government will undertake a close partnership with the states of Louisiana and Mississippi, the city of New Orleans, and other Gulf Coast cities, so they can rebuild in a sensible, well-planned way. Federal funds will cover the great majority of the costs of repairing public infrastructure in the disaster zone, from roads and bridges to schools and water systems. Our goal is to get the work done quickly. And taxpayers expect this work to be done honestly and wisely -- so we'll have a team of inspectors general reviewing all expenditures.", "In the work we have done, and the work we will do, I am fortunate to have a superb Vice President. I have counted on Dick Cheney's calm and steady judgment in difficult days, and I am honored to have him at my side.", "After the Declaration of Independence was signed, Virginia statesman John Page wrote to Thomas Jefferson: \"We know the race is not to the swift nor the battle to the strong. Do you not think an angel rides in the whirlwind and directs this storm?\"", "We will offer a tax credit to encourage small businesses and their employees to set up health savings accounts, and provide direct help for low-income Americans to purchase them. These accounts give workers the security of insurance against major illness, the opportunity to save tax-free for routine health expenses, and the freedom of knowing you can take your account with you whenever you change jobs. We will provide low-income Americans with better access to health care: In a new term, I will ensure every poor county in America has a community or rural health center.", "And all the allies of the United States can know: We honor your friendship; we rely on your counsel; and we depend on your help. Division among free nations is a primary goal of freedom's enemies. The concerted effort of free nations to promote democracy is a prelude to our enemies' defeat.", "A good job should lead to security in retirement. I ask Congress to enact new safeguards for 401K and pension plans. Employees who have worked hard and saved all their lives should not have to risk losing everything if their company fails. Through stricter accounting standards and tougher disclosure requirements, corporate America must be made more accountable to employees and shareholders and held to the highest standards of conduct.", "What you do is as important as anything government does. I ask you to seek a common good beyond your comfort; to defend needed reforms against easy attacks; to serve your nation, beginning with your neighbor. I ask you to be citizens: citizens, not spectators; citizens, not subjects; responsible citizens, building communities of service and a nation of character.", "If you don't man your borders and don't protect your borders, people are going to sneak in, and that's what's been happening for a long time. Past efforts at reform failed to address the underlying economic reasons behind illegal immigration. People will make great sacrifices to get into this country the find jobs and provide for their families.", "We're working hard in Afghanistan. We're clearing minefields. We're rebuilding roads. We're improving medical care. And we will work to help Afghanistan to develop an economy that can feed its people without feeding the world's demand for drugs.", "We have confronted and will continue to confront HIV/AIDS in our own country. And to meet a severe and urgent crisis abroad, tonight I propose the Emergency Plan for AIDS Relief, a work of mercy beyond all current international efforts to help the people of Africa. This comprehensive plan will prevent seven million new AIDS infections, treat at least two million people with life-extending drugs, and provide humane care for millions of people suffering from AIDS and for children orphaned by AIDS. I ask the Congress to commit $15 billion over the next five years, including nearly $10 billion in new money, to turn the tide against AIDS in the most afflicted nations of Africa and the Caribbean.", "Americans have many questions tonight. Americans are asking: Who attacked our country? The evidence we have gathered all points to a collection of loosely affiliated terrorist organizations known as al Qaeda. They are the same murderers indicted for bombing American embassies in Tanzania and Kenya, and responsible for bombing the USS Cole.", "Our nation has been put on notice: We are not immune from attack. We will take defensive measures against terrorism to protect Americans. Today, dozens of federal departments and agencies, as well as state and local governments, have responsibilities affecting homeland security. These efforts must be coordinated at the highest level. So tonight I announce the creation of a Cabinet-level position reporting directly to me--the Office of Homeland Security.", "My administration has made available more than $90 million for research on these lines. This policy has allowed important research to go forward without using taxpayer funds to encourage the further deliberate destruction of human embryos.", "Some people argue that finding new cures for disease requires the destruction of human embryos like the ones that these families adopted. I disagree. I believe that with the right techniques and the right policies, we can achieve scientific progress while living up to our ethical responsibilities. That's what I sought in 2001, when I set forth my administration's policy allowing federal funding for research on embryonic stem cell lines where the life and death decision had already been made.", "Now that conflict has come, the only way to limit its duration is to apply decisive force. And I assure you, this will not be a campaign of half measures, and we will accept no outcome but victory.", "Finally, we have got to honor the tradition of the melting pot, and help people assimilate into our society by learning our history, our values and our language. Last June I created a new task force to look for ways to help newcomers assimilate and succeed in our country. Many organizations, from churches to businesses to civic associations, are working to answer this call, and I'm grateful for their service.", "Two weeks ago, I stood on the steps of this Capitol and renewed the commitment of our nation to the guiding ideal of liberty for all. This evening I will set forth policies to advance that ideal at home and around the world.", "This country has many challenges. We will not deny, we will not ignore, we will not pass along our problems to other Congresses, to other Presidents, and other generations. We will confront them with focus and clarity and courage.", "In the past seven years, we've also seen the images that have sobered us. We've watched throngs of mourners in Lebanon and Pakistan carrying the caskets of beloved leaders taken by the assassin's hand. We've seen wedding guests in blood-soaked finery staggering from a hotel in Jordan, Afghans and Iraqis blown up in mosques and markets, and trains in London and Madrid ripped apart by bombs. On a clear September day, we saw thousands of our fellow citizens taken from us in an instant. These horrific images serve as a grim reminder: The advance of liberty is opposed by terrorists and extremists, evil men who despise freedom, despise America, and aim to subject millions to their violent rule.", "Because HIV/AIDS brings suffering and fear into so many lives, I ask you to reauthorize the Ryan White Act to encourage prevention, and provide care and treatment to the victims of that disease. And as we update this important law, we must focus our efforts on fellow citizens with the highest rates of new cases, African-American men and women.", "Americans are asking: What is expected of us? I ask you to live your lives, and hug your children. I know many citizens have fears tonight, and I ask you to be calm and resolute, even in the face of a continuing threat.", "Iraq continues to flaunt its hostility toward America and to support terror. The Iraqi regime has plotted to develop anthrax and nerve gas and nuclear weapons for over a decade. This is a regime that has already used poison gas to murder thousands of its own citizens, leaving the bodies of mothers huddled over their dead children. This is a regime that agreed to international inspections, then kicked out the inspectors. This is a regime that has something to hide from the civilized world.", "Thank you all. May God bless.", "We're also developing a comprehensive plan to immediately help displaced citizens. This will include housing and education and health care and other essential needs. I've directed the folks in my Cabinet to work with local folks, local officials, to develop a comprehensive strategy to rebuild the communities affected. And there's going to be a lot of rebuilding done. I can't tell you how devastating the sights were.", "Ultimately, the best evidence for free market capitalism is its performance compared to other economic systems. Free markets allowed Japan, an island with few natural resources, to recover from war and grow into the world's second-largest economy. Free markets allowed South Korea to make itself into one of the most technologically advanced societies in the world. Free markets turned small areas like Singapore and Hong Kong and Taiwan into global economic players. Today, the success of the world's largest economies comes from their embrace of free markets.", "Colin Powell's career has taken him from service in Vietnam to the top rank in the military, and now on a peace mission to the Middle East. America is fortunate and I am proud to have ROTC graduate Colin Powell serving our country.", "Victory will not look like the ones our fathers and grandfathers achieved. There will be no surrender ceremony on the deck of a battleship. But victory in Iraq will bring something new in the Arab world -- a functioning democracy that polices its territory, upholds the rule of law, respects fundamental human liberties, and answers to its people. A democratic Iraq will not be perfect. But it will be a country that fights terrorists instead of harboring them -- and it will help bring a future of peace and security for our children and our grandchildren.", "Another priority in a new term will be to help workers take advantage of the expanding economy to find better and higher-paying jobs. In this time of change, many workers want to go back to school to learn different or higher-level skills. So we will double the number of people served by our principal job training program and increase funding for our community colleges. I know that with the right skills, American workers can compete with anyone, anywhere in the world.", "The United States helped found the United Nations. We want the United Nations to be effective, and respectful, and successful. We want the resolutions of the world's most important multilateral body to be enforced. And right now those resolutions are being unilaterally subverted by the Iraqi regime. Our partnership of nations can meet the test before us, by making clear what we now expect of the Iraqi regime.", "Keeping America competitive requires an immigration system that upholds our laws, reflects our values, and serves the interests of our economy. Our nation needs orderly and secure borders. To meet this goal, we must have stronger immigration enforcement and border protection. And we must have a rational, humane guest worker program that rejects amnesty, allows temporary jobs for people who seek them legally, and reduces smuggling and crime at the border.", "A growing economy and a focus on essential priorities will be crucial to the future of Social Security. As we continue to work together to keep Social Security sound and reliable, we must offer younger workers a chance to invest in retirement accounts that they will control and they will own.", "The leaders of governments with long habits of control need to know: To serve your people, you must learn to trust them. Start on this journey of progress and justice, and America will walk at your side.", "Time after time, observers have questioned whether this country, or that people, or this group, are \"ready\" for democracy -- as if freedom were a prize you win for meeting our own Western standards of progress. In fact, the daily work of democracy itself is the path of progress. It teaches cooperation, the free exchange of ideas, and the peaceful resolution of differences. As men and women are showing, from Bangladesh to Botswana, to Mongolia, it is the practice of democracy that makes a nation ready for democracy, and every nation can start on this path.", "Seniors will start seeing help quickly. During the transition to the full prescription benefit, seniors will receive a drug discount card. This Medicare-approved card will deliver savings of 10 to 25 percent off the retail price of most medicines. Low-income seniors will receive the same savings, plus a $600 credit on their cards to help them pay for the medications they need.", "The second executive order will clear away the bureaucratic barriers in several important agencies that make private groups hesitate to work with government. It will establish centers in five agencies -- Justice, HUD, HHS, Labor and Education -- to ensure greater cooperation between the government and the independent sector. These centers will report back on regulatory barriers to working with non-profit groups, and make recommendations on how those barriers can be removed.", "The financial crisis was ignited when booming housing markets began to decline. As home values dropped, many borrowers defaulted on their mortgages, and institutions holding securities backed by those mortgages suffered serious losses. Because of outdated regulatory structures and poor risk management practices, many financial institutions in America and Europe were too highly leveraged. When capital ran short, many faced severe financial jeopardy. This led to high-profile failures of financial institutions in America and Europe, led to contractions and widespread anxiety -- all of which contributed to sharp declines in the equity markets.", "One of these brave Americans is a Marine Gunnery Sergeant named William \"Spanky\" Gibson. In May of 2006 in Ramadi, a terrorist sniper's bullet ripped through his left knee; doctors then amputated his leg. After months of difficult rehabilitation, Spanky was not only walking, he was training for triathlons.", "To improve our health care system, we must address one of the prime causes of higher cost, the constant threat that physicians and hospitals will be unfairly sued. Because of excessive litigation, everybody pays more for health care, and many parts of America are losing fine doctors. No one has ever been healed by a frivolous lawsuit. I urge the Congress to pass medical liability reform.", "We have the terrorists on the run. We're keeping them on the run. One by one, the terrorists are learning the meaning of American justice.", "No one can deny the success of freedom, but some men rage and fight against it. And one of the main sources of reaction and opposition is radical Islam--the perversion by a few of a noble faith into an ideology of terror and death. Terrorists like bin Laden are serious about mass murder, and all of us must take their declared intentions seriously. They seek to impose a heartless system of totalitarian control throughout the Middle East and arm themselves with weapons of mass murder.", "Thank you. Good night, and God bless America.", "And all parties must realize that the only vision for a long-term solution is for two states -- Israel, Palestine -- to live side by side in security and in peace. That will require hard choices and leadership by Israelis, Palestinians, and their Arab neighbors. The time is now for all to make the choice for peace.", "Many of you here today are Americans by choice, and you have followed in the path of millions. And over the generations we have received energetic, ambitious, optimistic people from every part of the world. By tradition and conviction, our country is a welcoming society. America is a stronger and better nation because of the hard work and the faith and entrepreneurial spirit of immigrants.", "The Iraqi regime has used diplomacy as a ploy to gain time and advantage. It has uniformly defied Security Council resolutions demanding full disarmament. Over the years, U. N. weapon inspectors have been threatened by Iraqi officials, electronically bugged, and systematically deceived. Peaceful efforts to disarm the Iraqi regime have failed again and again -- because we are not dealing with peaceful men.", "We have seen the state of our Union in the endurance of rescuers, working past exhaustion. We have seen the unfurling of flags, the lighting of candles, the giving of blood, the saying of prayers--in English, Hebrew, and Arabic. We have seen the decency of a loving and giving people who have made the grief of strangers their own.", "As we defend the peace, we also have an historic opportunity to preserve the peace. We have our best chance since the rise of the nation state in the 17th century to build a world where the great powers compete in peace instead of prepare for war. The history of the last century, in particular, was dominated by a series of destructive national rivalries that left battlefields and graveyards across the Earth. Germany fought France, the Axis fought the Allies, and then the East fought the West, in proxy wars and tense standoffs, against a backdrop of nuclear Armageddon.", "As a new Congress gathers, all of us in the elected branches of government share a great privilege: we have been placed in office by the votes of the people we serve. And tonight that is a privilege we share with newly elected leaders of Afghanistan, the Palestinian territories, Ukraine, and a free and sovereign Iraq.", "Our war on terror is well begun, but it is only begun. This campaign may not be finished on our watch; yet, it must be and it will be waged on our watch. We can't stop short. If we stop now, leaving terror camps intact and terrorist states unchecked, our sense of security would be false and temporary. History has called America and our allies to action, and it is both our responsibility and our privilege to fight freedom's fight.", "President Obasanjo last month led the nations of Africa in drafting the Abuja declaration which lays out crucial guidelines for the international effort we all envision. Secretary General Annan too has made this issue an urgent priority. He has been an eloquent voice in rallying the resources and conviction needed in this cause.", "Sometimes in life we are called to do great things. But as a saint of our times has said, every day we are called to do small things with great love. The most important tasks of a democracy are done by everyone.", "I know that some of my decisions have led to terrible loss -- and not one of those decisions has been taken lightly. I know this war is controversial -- yet being your President requires doing what I believe is right and accepting the consequences. And I have never been more certain that America's actions in Iraq are essential to the security of our citizens, and will lay the foundation of peace for our children and grandchildren.", "We see America's character in our military, which finds a way or makes one. We see it in our veterans, who are supporting military families in their days of worry. We see it in our young people, who have found heroes once again. We see that character in workers and entrepreneurs, who are renewing our economy with their effort and optimism. And all of this has confirmed one belief beyond doubt: Having come this far, our tested and confident nation can achieve anything.", "Near New Orleans, and Biloxi, and other cities, housing is urgently needed for police and firefighters, other service providers, and the many workers who are going to rebuild these cities. Right now, many are sleeping on ships we have brought to the Port of New Orleans -- and more ships are on their way to the region. And we'll provide mobile homes, and supply them with basic services, as close to construction areas as possible, so the rebuilding process can go forward as quickly as possible.", "A government-run health care system is the wrong prescription. By keeping costs under control, expanding access, and helping more Americans afford coverage, we will preserve the system of private medicine that makes America's health care the best in the world.", "FEMA has deployed more than 50 disaster medical assistance teams from all across the country to help the affected -- to help those in the affected areas. FEMA has deployed more than 25 urban search and rescue teams with more than a thousand personnel to help save as many lives as possible. The United States Coast Guard is conducting search and rescue missions. They're working alongside local officials, local assets. The Coast Guard has rescued nearly 2,000 people to date.", "History has called our nation into action. History has placed a great challenge before us: Will America -- with our unique position and power -- blink in the face of terror, or will we lead to a freer, more civilized world? There's only one answer: This great country will lead the world to safety, security, peace and freedom.", "America is working with the countries of the region, South Korea, Japan, China, and Russia, to find a peaceful solution and to show the North Korean government that nuclear weapons will bring only isolation, economic stagnation, and continued hardship. The North Korean regime will find respect in the world and revival for its people only when it turns away from its nuclear ambitions.", "Thank you all. Mr. Chairman -- Mr. Chairman, delegates, fellow citizens: I am honored by your support, and I accept your nomination for President of the United States.", "It should be clear to all that Islam -- the faith of one-fifth of humanity -- is consistent with democratic rule. Democratic progress is found in many predominantly Muslim countries -- in Turkey and Indonesia, and Senegal and Albania, Niger and Sierra Leone. Muslim men and women are good citizens of India and South Africa, of the nations of Western Europe, and of the United States of America.", "In these dangerous times, the United States is blessed to have extraordinary and selfless men and women willing to step forward and defend us. These young Americans understand that our cause in Iraq is noble and necessary -- and that the advance of freedom is the calling of our time. They serve far from their families, who make the quiet sacrifices of lonely holidays and empty chairs at the dinner table. They have watched their comrades give their lives to ensure our liberty. We mourn the loss of every fallen American -- and we owe it to them to build a future worthy of their sacrifice.", "Different threats require different strategies. In Iran, we continue to see a government that represses its people, pursues weapons of mass destruction, and supports terror. We also see Iranian citizens risking intimidation and death as they speak out for liberty and human rights and democracy. Iranians, like all people, have a right to choose their own government and determine their own destiny, and the United States supports their aspirations to live in freedom.", "Yet many Americans, especially parents, still have deep concerns about the direction of our culture and the health of our most basic institutions. They're concerned about unethical conduct by public officials and discouraged by activist courts that try to redefine marriage. They worry about children in our society who need direction and love, and about fellow citizens still displaced by natural disaster, and about suffering caused by treatable diseases.", "We must live up to the calling we share. Civility is not a tactic or a sentiment. It is the determined choice of trust over cynicism, of community over chaos. And this commitment, if we keep it, is a way to shared accomplishment.", "That is the future we choose. Free nations have a duty to defend our people by uniting against the violent. And tonight, as we have done before, America and our allies accept that responsibility.", "I made it clear to the Congress that I will not allow our nation to cross this moral line. I felt like crossing this line would be a mistake, and once crossed, we would find it almost impossible to turn back. Crossing the line would needlessly encourage a conflict between science and ethics that can only do damage to both, and to our nation as a whole. If we're to find the right ways to advance ethical medical research, we must also be willing, when necessary, to reject the wrong ways. So today, I'm keeping the promise I made to the American people by returning this bill to Congress with my veto.", "The legislation I'm about to sign will set in motion a series of improvements in the care available to all America's senior citizens. And as we begin, it is important for seniors and those approaching retirement to understand their new benefits.", "I know that when you sit on the steps of a porch where a home once stood, or sleep on a cot in a crowded shelter, it is hard to imagine a bright future. But that future will come. The streets of Biloxi and Gulfport will again be filled with lovely homes and the sound of children playing. The churches of Alabama will have their broken steeples mended and their congregations whole. And here in New Orleans, the street cars will once again rumble down St. Charles, and the passionate soul of a great city will return.", "The leadership of al Qaeda has great influence in Afghanistan and supports the Taliban regime in controlling most of that country. In Afghanistan, we see al Qaeda's vision for the world.", "When the Iraqi regime was removed, it did not lay down its arms and surrender. Instead, former regime elements took off their uniforms and faded into the countryside to fight the emergence of a free Iraq. And then they were joined by foreign terrorists who were seeking to stop the advance of liberty in the Middle East and seeking to establish safe havens from which to plot new attacks across the world.", "I oppose amnesty, because it would encourage further illegal immigration and unfairly reward those who break our laws. My temporary worker program will preserve the citizenship path for those who respect the law while bringing millions of hard-working men and women out from the shadows of American life.", "These vital principles are being applies in the nations of Afghanistan and Iraq. With the steady leadership of President Karzai, the people of Afghanistan are building a modern and peaceful government. Next month, 500 delegates will convene a national assembly in Kabul to approve a new Afghan constitution. The proposed draft would establish a bicameral parliament, set national elections next year, and recognize Afghanistan's Muslim identity, while protecting the rights of all citizens. Afghanistan faces continuing economic and security challenges -- it will face those challenges as a free and stable democracy.", "One of America's most important institutions--a symbol of the trust between generations--is also in need of wise and effective reform. Social Security was a great moral success of the 20th century, and we must honor its great purposes in this new century. The system, however, on its current path, is headed toward bankruptcy. And so we must join together to strengthen and save Social Security.", "Staff Sergeant Dan Clay's wife, Lisa, and his mom and dad, Sara Jo and Bud, are with us this evening. Welcome.", "Five days from now, the world will witness the vitality of American democracy. In a tradition dating back to our founding, the presidency will pass to a successor chosen by you, the American people. Standing on the steps of the Capitol will be a man whose history reflects the enduring promise of our land. This is a moment of hope and pride for our whole nation. And I join all Americans in offering best wishes to President-Elect Obama, his wife Michelle, and their two beautiful girls.", "To ensure that military progress in Iraq is quickly followed up with real improvements in daily life, we have doubled the number of Provincial Reconstruction Teams in Iraq. These teams of civilian experts are serving all Iraqi--18 Iraqi Provinces, and they're helping to strengthen responsible leaders and build up local economies and bring Iraqis together, so that reconciliation can happen from the ground up. They're very effective. They're helping give ordinary Iraqis confidence that by rejecting the extremists and reconciling with one another, they can claim their place in a free Iraq and build better lives for their families.", "I want to thank the Secretary of Education, Rod Paige, for being here and for his leadership. I asked Rod to join my administration because I wanted somebody who understood what it meant to run a school district in Washington, D. C. I didn't need somebody that based his knowledge on theory; I wanted somebody who based his knowledge on experience. And Rod was a teacher, a school board member, and the Superintendent of the Houston Independent School District. He did a fine job there, and he's doing a fine job in Washington.", "Four years ago, Afghanistan was the home base of al-Qaeda, Pakistan was a transit point for terrorist groups, Saudi Arabia was fertile ground for terrorist fundraising, Libya was secretly pursuing nuclear weapons, Iraq was a gathering threat, and al-Qaeda was largely unchallenged as it planned attacks. Today, the government of a free Afghanistan is fighting terror, Pakistan is capturing terrorist leaders, Saudi Arabia is making raids and arrests, Libya is dismantling its weapons programs, the army of a free Iraq is fighting for freedom, and more than three-quarters of al-Qaeda's key members and associates have been detained or killed. We have led, many have joined, and America and the world are safer.", "We will work closely with our coalition to deny terrorists and their state sponsors the materials, technology, and expertise to make and deliver weapons of mass destruction. We will develop and deploy effective missile defenses to protect America and our allies from sudden attack. And all nations should know: America will do what is necessary to ensure our nation's security.", "I want to congratulate the winners of the George C. Marshall ROTC Award. The more than 260 young men and women who represent -- the winners represent the best of our country and the best future for the United States Army. You stand out among the nearly 30,000 young Americans who are today enrolled in the Army ROTC; the officers who will serve in the military of the future, and one day will lead it.", "And America needs citizens to extend the compassion of our country to every part of the world. So we will renew the promise of the Peace Corps, double its volunteers over the next five years, and ask it to join a new effort to encourage development and education and opportunity in the Islamic world.", "In protecting our country, we depend on the skill of our people -- the troops we send to battle, intelligence operatives who risk their lives for bits of information, law enforcement officers who sift for clues and search for suspects. We are now learning that before September the 11th, the suspicions and insights of some of our front-line agents did not get enough attention.", "From the beginning, America has sought international support for our operations in Afghanistan and Iraq, and we have gained much support. There is a difference, however, between leading a coalition of many nations and submitting to the objections of a few. America will never seek a permission slip to defend the security of our country.", "The pictures of airplanes flying into buildings, fires burning, huge structures collapsing, have filled us with disbelief, terrible sadness, and a quiet, unyielding anger. These acts of mass murder were intended to frighten our nation into chaos and retreat. But they have failed; our country is strong.", "To make our economy stronger and more competitive, America must reward, not punish, the efforts and dreams of entrepreneurs. Small business is the path of advancement, especially for women and minorities, so we must free small businesses from needless regulation and protect honest job creators from junk lawsuits. Justice is distorted, and our economy is held back, by irresponsible class actions and frivolous asbestos claims--and I urge Congress to pass legal reforms this year.", "It's in our vital interest to diversify America's energy supply. The way forward is through technology. We must continue changing the way America generates electric power by even greater use of clean coal technology, solar and wind energy, and clean, safe nuclear power. We need to press on with battery research for plug-in and hybrid vehicles and expand the use of clean diesel vehicles and biodiesel fuel. We must continue investing in new methods of producing ethanol, using everything from wood chips to grasses to agricultural wastes.", "And tonight I have a message for the brave and oppressed people of Iraq: Your enemy is not surrounding your country; your enemy is ruling your country. And the day he and his regime are removed from power will be the day of your liberation.", "My administration must decide whether to allow federal funds, your tax dollars, to be used for scientific research on stem cells derived from human embryos. A large number of these embryos already exist. They are the product of a process called in vitro fertilization, which helps so many couples conceive children. When doctors match sperm and egg to create life outside the womb, they usually produce more embryos than are planted in the mother. Once a couple successfully has children, or if they are unsuccessful, the additional embryos remain frozen in laboratories.", "Good evening. During the next few minutes, I want to update you on the progress we are making in our war against terror, and to propose sweeping changes that will strengthen our homeland against the ongoing threat of terrorist attacks.", "Many challenges, abroad and at home, have arrived in a single season. In two years, America has gone from a sense of invulnerability to an awareness of peril, from bitter division in small matters to calm unity in great causes. And we go forward with confidence, because this call of history has come to the right country.", "America has never been united by blood or birth or soil. We are bound by ideals that move us beyond our backgrounds, lift us above our interests and teach us what it means to be citizens. Every child must be taught these principles. Every citizen must uphold them. And every immigrant, by embracing these ideals, makes our country more, not less, American.", "The men and women who crossed into Iraq 5 years ago removed a tyrant, liberated a country, and rescued millions from unspeakable horrors. Some of those troops are with us today, and you need to know that the American people are proud of your accomplishment, and so is the Commander in Chief.", "So we're expanding funding for this type of ethical medical research. And as we explore promising avenues of research, we must also ensure that all life is treated with the dignity it deserves. And so I call on Congress to pass legislation that bans unethical practices, such as the buying, selling, patenting, or cloning of human life.", "The United States and other nations did nothing to deserve or invite this threat. But we will do everything to defeat it. Instead of drifting along toward tragedy, we will set a course toward safety. Before the day of horror can come, before it is too late to act, this danger will be removed.", "Breakthroughs on this and other new technologies will help us reach another great goal: To replace more than 75 percent of our oil imports from the Middle East by 2025. By applying the talent and technology of America, this country can dramatically improve our environment, move beyond a petroleum-based economy, and make our dependence on Middle Eastern oil a thing of the past.", "The people's trust in their government is undermined by congressional earmarks, special interest projects that are often snuck in at the last minute, without discussion or debate. Last year, I asked you to voluntarily cut the number and cost of earmarks in half. I also asked you to stop slipping earmarks into committee reports that never even come to a vote. Unfortunately, neither goal was met. So this time, if you send me an appropriations bill that does not cut the number and cost of earmarks in half, I'll send it back to you with my veto.", "Our second priority is to sustain lives by ensuring adequate food, water, shelter and medical supplies for survivors and dedicated citizens -- dislocated citizens. FEMA is moving supplies and equipment into the hardest hit areas. The Department of Transportation has provided more than 400 trucks to move 1,000 truckloads containing 5.4 million Meals Ready to Eat -- or MREs, 13.4 million liters of water, 10,400 tarps, 3.4 million pounds of ice, 144 generators, 20 containers of pre-positioned disaster supplies, 135,000 blankets and 11,000 cots. And we're just starting.", "I long for peace. But I also understand that if we do not lead the world against terror, that your children and your grandchildren will not grow up in a society that is as free as the society we have today. Freedom is the precious gift that one generation can pass to the next. It is a gift and a promise that I intend to keep to the American children.", "I went to a neighborhood that abuts up against the border when I was here in May. It's the place where a lot of people came charging across. One or two agents would be trying to do their job and stopping a flood of folks charging into Arizona, and they couldn't do the job -- just physically impossible. Back at this site, there's now infrastructure, there's fencing. And the amount of people trying to cross the border at that spot is down significantly.", "These reforms are the act of a vibrant and compassionate government. We show are concern for the dignity of our seniors by giving them quality health care. We show our respect for seniors by giving them more choices and more control over their decision-making. We're putting individuals in charge of their health care decisions. And as we move to modernize and reform other programs of this government, we will always trust individuals and their decisions, and put personal choice at the heart of our efforts.", "In a system of two parties, two chambers, and two elected branches, there will always be differences and debate. But even tough debates can be conducted in a civil tone, and our differences cannot be allowed to harden into anger. To confront the great issues before us, we must act in a spirit of goodwill and respect for one another--and I will do my part. Tonight the state of our union is strong, and together we will make it stronger.", "So here is the result: Thirteen years from now, in 2018, Social Security will be paying out more than it takes in. And every year afterward will bring a new shortfall, bigger than the year before. For example, in the year 2027, the government will somehow have to come up with an extra $200 billion to keep the system afloat--and by 2033, the annual shortfall would be more than $300 billion. By the year 2042, the entire system would be exhausted and bankrupt. If steps are not taken to avert that outcome, the only solutions would be drastically higher taxes, massive new borrowing, or sudden and severe cuts in Social Security benefits or other government programs.", "Tax relief is an achievement for families that want the Government tax policy to be fair and not penalize them for making good choices, good choices such as marriage and raising a family. So we cut the marriage penalty.", "America's growing economy is also a changing economy. As technology transforms the way almost every job is done, America becomes more productive, and workers need new skills. Much of our job growth will be found in high-skilled fields like health care and biotechnology. So we must respond by helping more Americans gain the skills to find good jobs in our new economy.", "Yet even with all these steps, we cannot fully secure the border unless we take pressure off the border, and that requires a temporary worker program. We should establish a legal and orderly path for foreign workers to enter our country to work on a temporary basis. As a result, they won't have to try to sneak in, and that will leave border agents free to chase down drug smugglers and criminals and terrorists. We'll enforce our immigration laws at the worksite and give employers the tools to verify the legal status of their workers, so there's no excuse left for violating the law.", "The situation I described is wrong. It is not the American way. Out of common sense and fairness, our laws should allow willing workers to enter our country and fill jobs that Americans have are not filling. We must make our immigration laws more rational, and more humane. And I believe we can do so without jeopardizing the livelihoods of American citizens.", "Much time has passed since Jefferson arrived for his inauguration. The years and changes accumulate. But the themes of this day he would know: our nation's grand story of courage and its simple dream of dignity.", "I strongly oppose human cloning, as do most Americans. We recoil at the idea of growing human beings for spare body parts, or creating life for our convenience. And while we must devote enormous energy to conquering disease, it is equally important that we pay attention to the moral concerns raised by the new frontier of human embryo stem cell research. Even the most noble ends do not justify any means.", "This progress involved careful diplomacy, clear moral purpose, and some tough decisions. And the toughest came on Iraq. We knew Saddam Hussein's record of aggression and support for terror. We knew his long history of pursuing, even using, weapons of mass destruction. And we know that September the 11th requires our country to think differently: We must, and we will, confront threats to America before it is too late.", "In the second phase of the war on terror, our military and law enforcement intelligence officers are helping countries around the world in their efforts to crack down on terror within their borders. Global terrorism will be defeated only by global response. We must prevent al Qaeda from moving its operations to other countries. We must deny terrorists the funds they need to operate. We must deny them safe havens to plan new horrors and indoctrinate new recruits.", "Third, and most importantly, we will make a major effort to improve the health care delivery systems in targeted countries. This will allow more women and babies to receive the comprehensive therapy. It will allow for better and longer treatment and care of all AIDS victims. And it will lead to better health care in general for all the country's citizens.", "Members of Congress, the No Child Left Behind Act is a bipartisan achievement. It is succeeding. And we owe it to America's children, their parents, and their teachers to strengthen this good law.", "And to the other crucial question, if these are going to be destroyed anyway, why not use them for good purpose -- I also found different answers. Many argue these embryos are byproducts of a process that helps create life, and we should allow couples to donate them to science so they can be used for good purpose instead of wasting their potential. Others will argue there's no such thing as excess life, and the fact that a living being is going to die does not justify experimenting on it or exploiting it as a natural resource.", "Americans can have confidence in the outcome of this struggle because we're not in this struggle alone. We have a diplomatic strategy that is rallying the world to join in the fight against extremism. In Iraq, multinational forces are operating under a mandate from the United Nations. We're working with Jordan and Saudi Arabia and Egypt and the Gulf States to increase support for Iraq's government.", "We're also taking other steps to bolster the security of Iraq and protect American interests in the Middle East. I recently ordered the deployment of an additional carrier strike group to the region. We will expand intelligence-sharing and deploy Patriot air defense systems to reassure our friends and allies. We will work with the governments of Turkey and Iraq to help them resolve problems along their border. And we will work with others to prevent Iran from gaining nuclear weapons and dominating the region.", "These agreements also promote America's strategic interests. The first agreement that will come before you is with Colombia, a friend of America that is confronting violence and terror and fighting drug traffickers. If we fail to pass this agreement, we will embolden the purveyors of false populism in our hemisphere. So we must come together, pass this agreement, and show our neighbors in the region that democracy leads to a better life.", "On behalf of the nation, I congratulate each one of you for the commission you've earned and for the credit you bring to the United States of America. May God bless you all.", "I want to thank Senator Tim Bee, he's the president of the Arizona State Senate, for being here. Mr. Mayor, thank you for coming. Larry Nelson, the Mayor of Yuma, Arizona. I appreciate you being here, Mr. Mayor.", "America is on the offensive against the terrorists who started this war. Last March, Khalid Sheik Mohammed, a mastermind of September 11, awoke to find himself in the custody of U. S. and Pakistani authorities. Last August 11 brought the capture of the terrorist Hambali, who was a key player in the attack in Indonesia that killed over 200 people. We're tracking Al Qaeda around the world, and nearly two-thirds of their known leaders have now been captured or killed. Thousands of very skilled and determined military personnel are on the manhunt, going after the remaining killers who hide in cities and caves, and one by one, we will bring these terrorists to justice.", "Terrorists and terror states do not reveal these threats with fair notice, in formal declarations -- and responding to such enemies only after they have struck first is not self-defense, it is suicide. The security of the world requires disarming Saddam Hussein now."]}, "Novels": {"hemingway": ["Now that he had seen him once, he could picture the fish swimming in the water with his purple pectoral fins set wide as wings and the great erect tail slicing through the dark. I wonder how much he sees at that depth, the old man thought. His eye is huge and a horse, with much less eye, can see in the dark. Once I could see quite well in the dark. Not in the absolute dark.", "\u201cThey put us out in the kitchen,\u201d Nick went on. \u201cThey were going to shoot you when you came in to supper.\u201d", "\"I can remember the tail slapping and banging and the thwart breaking and the noise of the clubbing. I can remember you throwing me into the bow where the wet coiled lines were and feeling the whole boat shiver and the noise of you clubbing him like chopping a tree down and the sweet blood smell all over me.\"", "Now, he thought, I must think about the drag. It has its perils and its merits. I may lose so much line that I will lose him, if he makes his effort and the drag made by the oars is in place and the boat loses all her lightness. Her lightness prolongs both our suffering but it is my safety since he has great speed that he has never yet employed. No matter what passes I must gut the dolphin so he does not spoil and eat some of him to be strong.", "We stopped opposite two restaurant signs. We were standing across the street and I was buying the papers. The two restaurants were side by side. A woman standing in the doorway of one smiled at us and we crossed the street and went in.", "\"I'll kill him though,\" he said. \"In all his greatness and his glory.\"", "\u201cYou\u2019re right. Wasn\u2019t me at all. Was another fellow. Think we called him the local Harvard man. Remember him now.", "\u201cI like him,\u201d I said. \u201cI\u2019m fond of him. You don\u2019t want to get sore at him.\u201d", "\"I will have everything in order,\" the boy said. \"You get your hands well old man.\"", "The train left the station in Marseilles and there was not only the switch-yards and the factory smoke but, looking back, the town of Marseilles and the harbor with stone hills behind it and the last of the sun on the water. As it was getting dark the train passed a farmhouse burning in a field. Motor-cars were stopped along the road and bedding and things from inside the farmhouse were spread in the field. Many people were watching the house burn. After it was dark the train was in Avignon.", "\"He's headed north,\" the old man said. The current will have set us far to the eastward, he thought. I wish he would turn with the current. That would show that he was tiring.", "\u201cI knowed it, Massa Red Dog,\u201d he said. \u201cI knowed you\u2019d ordah dat Dog\u2019s Head all the time.\u201d", "George looked up at the clock. It was a quarter past six. The door from the street opened. A street-car motorman came in.", "Again there was the shock and he felt himself being borne back in a rush, to strike hard on the sand. There was no chance of kicking this time. The bull was on top of him. Manuel lay as though dead, his head on his arms, and the bull bumped him. Bumped his back, bumped his face in the sand.", "\u201cYouah right theah, Massa Red Dog,\u201d the bartender leaned forward. \u201cI\u2019se got a heart of puah gold.\u201d", "\u201cI got into this town last night,\u201d William Campbell said, speaking against the sheet. He found he liked to talk through a sheet. \u201cDid you ever talk through a sheet?\u201d", "\"I know it,\" the boy said. \"I'll be right back. Have another coffee. We have credit here.\"", "\u201cNo. Wait down in the car.\u201d He turned to Brett and to me. \u201cWe\u2019ll want to ride out to the Bois for dinner?\u201d", "\u201cNot so good, Jake. Injustice everywhere. Promoter claimed nigger promised let local boy stay. Claimed nigger violated contract. Can\u2019t knock out Vienna boy in Vienna.", "\u201cIt was the year of the Paris Exposition,\u201d she began. \u201cI was a young girl at the time, une jeune fille, and I came over from England with my mother. We were going to be present at the opening of the exposition. On our way from the Gare du Nord to the hotel in the Place Vendome where we lodged, we stopped at a coiffeur\u2019s shop and made some trifling purchase. My mother, as I recall, purchased an additional bottle of \u2018smelling salts,\u2019 as you call them here in America.\u201d", "\u201cSometimes, you know, I feel there is,\u201d the waitress said. \u201cI feel there must be more than that. Somewhere, somehow, there must be an explanation. I don\u2019t know what brought the subject into my mind this morning.\u201d", "\u201cNot if you\u2019d rather not,\u201d Scripps said. \u201cBy the way, could I have another order of beans?\u201d", "\u201cGood God, man! Can\u2019t you clothe her?\u201d Scripps O\u2019Neil said in a dumb voice. There was a note of terror in his words.", "\u201cThat\u2019s the way men are,\u201d his wife said to us. She smoothed her comfortable lap. \u201cI voted against prohibition to please him, and because I like a little beer in the house, and then he talks that way. It\u2019s a wonder they ever find any one to marry them.\u201d", "She was sitting up now. My arm was around her and she was leaning back against me, and we were quite calm. She was looking into my eyes with that way she had of looking that made you wonder whether she really saw out of her own eyes. They would look on and on after every one else\u2019s eyes in the world would have stopped looking. She looked as though there were nothing on earth she would not look at like that, and really she was afraid of so many things.", "He looked up at the sky and then out to his fish. He looked at the sun carefully. It is not much more than noon, he thought. And the trade wind is rising. The lines all mean nothing now.", "In the morning when I awoke the bicycle-riders and their following cars had been on the road for three hours. I had coffee and the papers in bed and then dressed and took my bathing-suit down to the beach. Everything was fresh and cool and damp in the early morning. Nurses in uniform and in peasant costume walked under the trees with children. The Spanish children were beautiful.", "\u201cIf you want something extra,\u201d Retana said, \u201cgo and get it. There will be a regular cuadrilla out there. Bring as many of your own pics as you want. The charlotada is over by ten-thirty.\u201d", "\u201cDrat that wind,\u201d Scripps said and once again faced into the blowing snow. The wind was blowing straight down from Lake Superior. The telegraph wires above Scripps\u2019s head sang in the wind. Through the dark, Scripps saw a great yellow eye coming toward him. The giant locomotive came nearer through the snow-storm.", "\"Fish,\" he said, \"I love you and respect you very much. But I will kill you dead before this day ends.\"", "\u201cSure,\u201d says Jack, \u201cmaybe I will. But I know I\u2019m sick of you.\u201d", "\u201cThis is a hell of a dull talk,\u201d Brett said. \u201cHow about some of that champagne?\u201d", "\u201cIt\u2019s a lie,\u201d Bill said. \u201cI went to Loyola with Bishop Manning myself.\u201d", "The old man held him with his left hand and his shoulders now and stooped down and scooped up water in his right hand to get the crushed dolphin flesh off of his face. He was afraid that it might nauseate him and he would vomit and lose his strength. When his face was cleaned he washed his right hand in the water over the side and then let it stay in the salt water while he watched the first light come before the sunrise. He's headed almost east, he thought. That means he is tired and going with the current.", "\u201cMy father went to Eton with Gladstone,\u201d the elderly waitress said. \u201cAnd now I am ready.\u201d", "Beyond the fields we crossed another faster-flowing stream. A sandy road led down to the ford and beyond into the woods. The path crossed the stream on another foot-log below the ford, and joined the road, and we went into the woods.", "\u201cOh, everywhere. He just brought me here now. Offered me ten thousand dollars to go to Biarritz with him. How much is that in pounds?\u201d", "\u201cHow do I know? As soon as we can get the divorce. Michael\u2019s trying to get his mother to put up for it.\u201d", "\u201cGood night, Jerry,\u201d Jack says. \u201cYou\u2019re the only friend I got.\u201d", "There was no doorway leading from the room except into the kitchen. A curtain hung over it. The girl who had taken our order came in from the kitchen with spaghetti. She put it on the table and brought a bottle of red wine and sat down at the table.", "\"What a fish,\" he said. \"He has it sideways in his mouth now and he is moving off with it.\"", "\"Yes there is,\" he said aloud. \"I can lash my knife to the butt of one of the oars.\"", "\u201cI should think you\u2019d love it. You\u2019d never have to say a word. Come on, Robert. Do say something. Don\u2019t just sit there.\u201d", "Manuel reached under the seat for his suitcase. He was happy. He knew Zurito would pic for him. He was the best picador living. It was all simple now.", "\u201cListen,\u201d he said to the two Indians. \u201cI want to tell you about something that happened to me in Paris.\u201d", "He was very bashful about his English, but he was really very pleased with it, and as we went on talking he brought out words he was not sure of, and asked me about them. He was anxious to know the English for Corrida de toros, the exact translation. Bull-fight he was suspicious of. I explained that bull-fight in Spanish was the lidia of a toro. The Spanish word corrida means in English the running of bulls\u2014the French translation is Course de taureaux.", "Fuentes walked a little closer to the bull. Bent back. Called again. Somebody in the crowd shouted a warning.", "Coming toward him down the street came two Indians. They looked at him, but their faces did not change. Their faces remained the same. They went into McCarthy\u2019s barber shop.", "Sometimes I found insects in the swamp meadows, in the grass or under ferns, and used them. There were beetles and insects with legs like grass stems, and grubs in old rotten logs; white grubs with brown pinching heads that would not stay on the hook and emptied into nothing in the cold water, and wood ticks under logs where sometimes I found angle-worms that slipped into the ground as soon as the log was raised. Once I used a salamander from under an old log. The salamander was very small and neat and agile and a lovely color. He had tiny feet that tried to hold on to the hook, and after that one time I never used a salamander, although I found them very often.", "\u201cYes, I\u2019ve got money,\u201d Yogi answered. He was prepared to go the route. It was no time to turn back now. ,\u201dThe feed\u2019s on me, boys.\u201d", "I brought a towel and he wiped the bottle dry and held it up. \u201cI like to drink champagne from magnums. The wine is better but it would have been too hard to cool.\u201d He held the bottle, looking at it. I put out the glasses.", "\u201cListen,\u201d the clean-cut young man said. \u201cDon\u2019t bother to talk with these two. I tell you they are worth nothing and I know.\u201d", "I turned on the light again and read. I read the Turgenieff. I knew that now, reading it in the oversensitized state of my mind after much too much brandy, I would remember it somewhere, and afterward it would seem as though it had really happened to me. I would always have it. That was another good thing you paid for and then had.", "Outside, the fence that led from the last street of the town to the entrance of the bull-ring was already in place and made a long pen; the crowd would come running down with the bulls behind them on the morning of the day of the first bull-fight. Out across the plain, where the horse and cattle fair would be, some gypsies had camped under the trees. The wine and aguardiente sellers were putting up their booths. One booth advertised ANIS DEL TORO. The cloth sign hung against the planks in the hot sun.", "Nick\u2019s father went ahead with the lamp. He stopped and lifted the lid of the ice-box. Nick went on into the kitchen. His father brought in a piece of cold chicken on a plate and a pitcher of milk and put them on the table before Nick. He put down the lamp.", "\u201cThe only thing is,\u201d he said, talking towards the wall, \u201cI just can\u2019t make up my mind to go out. I been in here all day.\u201d", "\u201cI say,\u201d Mike said, \u201cthey were fine bulls, weren\u2019t they? Did you see their horns?\u201d", "\u201cMy wife left me,\u201d Scripps said. \u201cWe\u2019d been out drinking on the railroad track. We used to go out evenings and watch the trains pass. I write stories. I had a story in The Post and two in The Dial.", "He was asleep in a short time and he dreamed of Africa when he was a boy and the long golden beaches and the white beaches, so white they hurt your eyes, and the high capes and the great brown mountains. He lived along that coast now every night and in his dreams he heard the surf roar and saw the native boats come riding through it. He smelled the tar and oakum of the deck as he slept and he smelled the smell of Africa that the land breeze brought at morning.", "This drummer had sound ideas. He, Scripps, did not even know what sex the bird was. Whether he was a boy bird or a girl bird.", "\u201cBut Mr. Barnes introduced you as Mademoiselle Georgette Leblanc. Surely he did,\u201d insisted Mrs. Braddocks, who in the excitement of talking French was liable to have no idea what she was saying.", "\u201cDon\u2019t be a fool,\u201d I said. \u201cYou can go anywhere you want. You\u2019ve got plenty of money.\u201d", "\u201cI don\u2019t think so. I\u2019d just tromper you with everybody. You couldn\u2019t stand it.\u201d", "\u201cNobody else would behave as badly. Oh, I\u2019m so sick of the whole thing. And Michael. Michael\u2019s been lovely, too.\u201d", "\u201cHe didn\u2019t look bored,\u201d Mike said. \u201cI thought he was going to be sick.\u201d", "Jack\u2019s head moved a little on the pillow. \u201cJack!\u201d John says, leaning over him. Jack just dug a little deeper in the pillow. John touched him on the shoulder. Jack sat up and looked at us.", "He went in and the conductor swung up and the train went out. I rode back to the farm in the cart. Jack was on the porch writing a letter to his wife. The mail had come and I got the papers and went over on the other side of the porch and sat down to read. Hogan came out the door and walked over to me.", "\u201cWhy the hell don\u2019t you get another cook?\u201d the man asked. \u201cAren\u2019t you running a lunch-counter?\u201d He went out.", "\u201cHow can I beat him?\u201d Jack says. \u201cIt ain\u2019t crooked. How can I beat him? Why not make money on it?\u201d", "I left the crowd in the caf\u00e9 and went over to the hotel to get shaved for dinner. I was shaving in my room when there was a knock on the door.", "\u201cThey thought we were snappers, all right,\u201d the man said. \u201cIt certainly shows you the power of the Catholic Church. It\u2019s a pity you boys ain\u2019t Catholics. You could get a meal, then, all right.\u201d", "\"Don't sit up,\" the boy said. \"Drink this.\" He poured some of the coffee in a glass.", "\u201cNo; listen, Jake. If I handled both our expenses, would you go to South America with me?\u201d", "\u201cI say. You don\u2019t know what it\u2019s meant to me to have you chaps up here.\u201d", "\u201cYou wouldn\u2019t mind, really? I\u2019ve been at Pamplona, you know. Brett\u2019s mad to go. You\u2019re sure we wouldn\u2019t just be a bloody nuisance?\u201d", "\u201cHere he is!\u201d said Bill. \u201cGood old Jake! I knew you wouldn\u2019t pass out.\u201d", "\u201cI wanted to try this new drink. That\u2019s all we do, isn\u2019t it\u2014look at things and try new drinks?\u201d", "Mandy, the buxom waitress, leaned forward. \u201cSay,\u201d she said, \u201cdid I ever tell you about the last words of Henry James?\u201d", "\u201cLike a wedding,\u201d said the handler. \u201cFine. You came out like Joselito and Belmonte.\u201d", "Outside the ring, after the bull-fight was over, you could not move in the crowd. We could not make our way through but had to be moved with the whole thing, slowly, as a glacier, back to town. We had that disturbed emotional feeling that always comes after a bull-fight, and the feeling of elation that comes after a good bull-fight. The fiesta was going on. The drums pounded and the pipe music was shrill, and everywhere the flow of the crowd was broken by patches of dancers.", "The cook sat on in his chair. The innkeeper went in with us and unlocked his office and brought out our mail. There was a bundle of letters and some papers.", "\u201cI don\u2019t know. He was never here before. He was very large. Very, very large. She was very nice.", "\u201cYou\u2019ve got a rotten chance. They\u2019ve never been on time anywhere. If their money doesn\u2019t come it\u2019s a cinch they won\u2019t get in to-night.\u201d", "\"Far out to come in when the wind shifts. I want to be out before it is light.\"", "\u201cI don\u2019t know,\u201d one of the men said. \u201cWhat do you want to eat, Al?\u201d", "\u201cNever mind, \u201c Yogi said. \u201cI\u2019ll get you a job in the pump-factory.\u201d", "\u201cI\u2019ll just take a bowl of milk and crackers,\u201d the elderly Mrs. Scripps said. \u201cYou have whatever you want, dear.\u201d", "As a matter of fact, supper was a pleasant meal. Brett wore a black, sleeveless evening dress. She looked quite beautiful. Mike acted as though nothing had happened. I had to go up and bring Robert Cohn down.", "\u201cAt the Crillon. Harvey was just a little daunted. Hadn\u2019t eaten for three days. Doesn\u2019t eat any more. Just goes off like a cat.", "He furled the muleta, drew the sword out, profiled and drove in on the bull. He felt the sword buckle as he shoved it in, leaning his weight on it, and then it shot in the air, end-over-ending into the crowd. Manuel had jerked clear as the sword jumped.", "\u201cLet\u2019s get two bottles,\u201d I said. The bottles came. I poured a little in my glass, then a glass for Brett, then filled my glass. We touched glasses.", "2nd Soldier\u2014They were a pretty yellow crowd. When they seen him go up there they didn\u2019t want any of it.", "What could I buy it with? he asked himself. Could I buy it with a lost harpoon and a broken knife and two bad hands?", "Manuel and Hernandez stood in front. The youths of the cuadrillas were behind, their heavy capes furled over their arms. In black, the four picadors, mounted, holding their steel-tipped push-poles erect in the half-dark of the corral.", "\u201cWhat will you do when the war is over if it is over?\u201d he asked me. \u201cSpeak grammatically!\u201d", "\u201cFirst the egg,\u201d said Bill. \u201cThen the chicken. Even Bryan could see that.\u201d", "\u201cWant to take a turn out to the park?\u201d Brett asked. \u201cI don\u2019t want to go up yet. I fancy he\u2019s sleeping.\u201d", "Behind the bar, Bruce, the Negro bartender, had been leaning forward and watching the wampums pass from hand to hand. His dark face shone. Sharply, without explanation, he broke into high-pitched uncontrolled laughter. The dark laughter of the Negro.", "\u201cHe calls her Circe,\u201d Mike said. \u201cHe claims she turns men into swine. Damn good. I wish I were one of these literary chaps.\u201d", "\u201cWhat do you mean, dangerous?\u201d Bill said. \u201cThey all looked dangerous to me.\u201d", "She's good, he thought. She is sound and not harmed in any way except for the tiller. That is easily replaced.", "\u201cI didn\u2019t,\u201d Cohn said. \u201cI thought I\u2019d sit here because I felt a little tight.\u201d", "Jack sat down on the porch by me. He leaned back against a post. He shut his eyes in the sun.", "\u201cYou know,\u201d he said, \u201cI like liquor pretty well. If I hadn\u2019t been boxing I would have drunk quite a lot.\u201d", "\u201cIt was quite a thing to watch,\u201d Edna said. \u201cHe must be a boxer.\u201d", "\"God knows how much that last one took,\" he said. \"But she's much lighter now.\" He did not want to think of the mutilated under\u2013side of the fish. He knew that each of the jerking bumps of the shark had been meat torn away and that the fish now made a trail for all sharks as wide as a highway through the sea.", "The fish was coming in on his circle now calm and beautiful looking and only his great tail moving. The old man pulled on him all that he could to bring him closer. For just a moment the fish turned a little on his side. Then he straightened himself and began another circle.", "\u201cFifty grand,\u201d Jack says, \u201cat two to one. I\u2019ll get twenty-five thousand bucks. Get some money on him, Jerry.\u201d", "William Campbell\u2019s interview with Mr. Turner had been a little strange. Mr. Turner had knocked on the door. Campbell had said: \u201cCome in!\u201d When Mr. Turner came into the room he saw clothing on a chair, an open suitcase, the bottle on a chair beside the bed, and someone lying in the bed completely covered by bedclothes.", "\u201cHe was in before lunch, the waiter answered. \u201cHe won\u2019t be back before five o\u2019clock.\u201d", "We lunched up-stairs at Botin\u2019s. It is one of the best restaurants in the world. We had roast young suckling pig and drank rioja alta. Brett did not eat much. She never ate much.", "\"I'll get another knife and have the spring ground. How many days of heavy brisa have we?\"", "Smoke curled up from the old house. The fire was mounting. The white pillars were obscured in the rising smoke-wreaths. Scripps had held close to his mother\u2019s linsey-woolsey dress.", "Cohn smiled again and sat down. He seemed glad to sit down. What the hell would he have done if he hadn\u2019t sat down? \u201cYou say such damned insulting things, Jake.\u201d", "\u201cYou ought to go to the movies more. The movies are fine for a bright boy like you.\u201d", "\u201cWhat the hell\u2019s that to me?\u201d Jack says. \u201cYou\u2019re my manager. You get a big enough cut, don\u2019t you? You aren\u2019t making me any money in Philadelphia, are you? Why the hell aren\u2019t you out here when I ought to have you?\u201d", "I did not feel the first trout strike. When I started to pull up I felt that I had one and brought him, fighting and bending the rod almost double, out of the boiling water at the foot of the falls, and swung him up and onto the dam. He was a good trout, and I banged his head against the timber so that he quivered out straight, and then slipped him into my bag.", "Jack doesn\u2019t say anything. He just sits there on the bed. He ain\u2019t with the others. He\u2019s all by himself. He was wearing an old blue jersey and pants and had on boxing shoes.", "It must be very strange in an airplane, he thought. I wonder what the sea looks like from that height? They should be able to see the fish well if they do not fly too high. I would like to fly very slowly at two hundred fathoms high and see the fish from above. In the turtle boats I was in the cross\u2013trees of the mast\u2013head and even at that height I saw much.", "\u201cGo over and say you\u2019re sorry,\u201d John says into his ear. \u201cIt\u2019ll look good.\u201d", "It was a little past noon and there was not much shade, but I sat against the trunk of two of the trees that grew together, and read. The book was something by A. E. W. Mason, and I was reading a wonderful story about a man who had been frozen in the Alps and then fallen into a glacier and disappeared, and his bride was going to wait twenty-four years exactly for his body to come out on the moraine, while her true love waited too, and they were still waiting when Bill came up.", "\u201cLook how he knows how to use his horns,\u201d I said. \u201cHe\u2019s got a left and a right just like a boxer.\u201d", "\u201cThey do have some rather awful things happen to them,\u201d Brett said. \u201cI couldn\u2019t look away, though.\u201d", "\u201cTell me,\u201d Scripps asked the waitress. \u201cIs there any work in this town for me and my bird?\u201d", "Eat it so that the point of the hook goes into your heart and kills you, he thought. Come up easy and let me put the harpoon into you. All right. Are you ready? Have you been long enough at table?", "\u201cCome on, Al,\u201d said Max. \u201cWe better go. He\u2019s not coming.\u201d", "\u201cMy dear, I would do it if I would enjoy it. I enjoy to watch you dance.\u201d", "The sort of healthy conceit that he had when he returned from America early in the spring was gone. Then he had been sure of his work, only with these personal longings for adventure. Now the sureness was gone. Somehow I feel I have not shown Robert Cohn clearly. The reason is that until he fell in love with Brett, I never heard him make one remark that would, in any way, detach him from other people.", "The sun came through the open window and shone through the beer bottles on the table. The bottles were half full. There was a little froth on the beer in the bottles, not much, because it was very cold. It collared up when you poured it into the tall glasses. I looked out of the open window at the white road.", "\u201cWhat do you keep on doing it for?\u201d Zurito asked. \u201cWhy don\u2019t you cut off your coleta, Manolo?\u201d", "\u201cYou\u2019ve got to realize,\u201d he said, \u201cthat I don\u2019t want you to do it if you don\u2019t want to. I\u2019m perfectly willing to go through with it if it means anything to you.\u201d", "\u201cThere\u2019s good swimming,\u201d I said. \u201cBut it\u2019s dangerous when it\u2019s rough.\u201d", "\"He's found fish,\" he said aloud. No flying fish broke the surface and there was no scattering of bait fish. But as the old man watched, a small tuna rose in the air, turned and dropped head first into the water. The tuna shone silver in the sun and after he had dropped back into the water another and another rose and they were jumping in all directions, churning the water and leaping in long jumps after the bait. They were circling it and driving it.", "\u201cOh, I am. I\u2019m frightfully fit. I\u2019ve done nothing but walk. Walk all day long. One drink a day with my mother at tea.\u201d", "\u201cCut it out about the sheet. You can\u2019t just take to that stuff, Billy.\u201d", "IN the fall the war was always there, but we did not go to it any more. It was cold in the fall in Milan and the dark came very early. Then the electric lights came on, and it was pleasant along the streets looking in the windows. There was much game hanging outside the shops, and the snow powdered in the fur of the foxes and the wind blew their tails. The deer hung stiff and heavy and empty, and small birds blew in the wind and the wind turned their feathers.", "He lit the cigar, puffed at it, looking across the table at Brett. \u201cAnd when you\u2019re divorced, Lady Ashley, then you won\u2019t have a title.\u201d", "\u201cThat\u2019s a good idea,\u201d I said. \u201cYour wife ever see you fight, Jack?\u201d", "At noon of Sunday, the 6th of July, the fiesta exploded. There is no other way to describe it. People had been coming in all day from the country, but they were assimilated in the town and you did not notice them. The square was as quiet in the hot sun as on any other day. The peasants were in the outlying wine-shops.", "\u201cThat\u2019s just it,\u201d said Robert. \u201cI\u2019m afraid they expected to meet me at San Sebastian, and that\u2019s why they stopped over.\u201d", "\u201cGood,\u201d Walcott says. He dropped the towel from around his waist and stood on the scales. He had the widest shoulders and back you ever saw.", "\u201cWhite chief have heap much sound ideas,\u201d the Indian said. \u201cWhite chief educated like hell.\u201d", "\u201cHello, darling,\u201d said Brett. \u201cAren\u2019t you going to let us in?\u201d", "\u201cOh, darling, please stay by me. Please stay by me and see me through this.\u201d", "He could feel he was inside the current now and he could see the lights of the beach colonies along the shore. He knew where he was now and it was nothing to get home.", "He liked to think of the fish and what he could do to a shark if he were swimming free. I should have chopped the bill off to fight them with, he thought. But there was no hatchet and then there was no knife.", "\u201cGet him out of there,\u201d Manuel shouted to the gypsy. The bull had smelled the blood of the dead horse and ripped into the canvas cover with his horns. He charged Fuentes\u2019s cape, with the canvas hanging from his splintered horn, and the crowd laughed. Out in the ring, he tossed his head to rid himself of the canvas. Hernandez, running up from behind him, grabbed the end of the canvas and neatly lifted it off the horn.", "So there you were. I was sorry for him, but it was not a thing you could do anything about, because right away you ran up against the two stubbornnesses: South America could fix it and he did not like Paris. He got the first idea out of a book, and I suppose the second came out of a book too.", "\u201cThat\u2019s what you want to do. Travel while you\u2019re young. Mother and I always wanted to get over, but we had to wait a while.\u201d", "\u201cI should like to hear you really talk, my dear. When you talk to me you never finish your sentences at all.\u201d", "\u201cSee you at tennis,\u201d he said. I watched him walk back to the caf\u00e9 holding his paper. I rather liked him and evidently she led him quite a life.", "That afternoon was the big religious procession. San Fermin was translated from one church to another. In the procession were all the dignitaries, civil and religious. We could not see them because the crowd was too great. Ahead of the formal procession and behind it danced the riau-riau dancers.", "1st Soldier\u2014Ain\u2019t I seen \u2019em? I seen plenty of them. I tell you, he was pretty good in there today.", "\"One,\" the old man said. His hope and his confidence had never gone. But now they were freshening as when the breeze rises.", "Scripps looked up. Diana\u2019s heart beat faster. Perhaps he was coming. Perhaps she was holding him. Holding him.", "\u201cTwo years ago this fall. It\u2019s her, you know, that I\u2019m taking the canary to.\u201d", "\"Thank you,\" the old man said. He was too simple to wonder when he had attained humility. But he knew he had attained it and he knew it was not disgraceful and it carried no loss of true pride.", "He felt faint again now but he held on the great fish all the strain that he could. I moved him, he thought. Maybe this time I can get him over. Pull, hands, he thought. Hold up, legs.", "\u201cOh, frightful,\u201d Mike said. \u201cDrunk all day and spend all their time beating their poor old mothers.\u201d", "By that time, though, he had other things to worry about. He had been taken in hand by a lady who hoped to rise with the magazine. She was very forceful, and Cohn never had a chance of not being taken in hand. Also he was sure that he loved her. When this lady saw that the magazine was not going to rise, she became a little disgusted with Cohn and decided that she might as well get what there was to get while there was still something available, so she urged that they go to Europe, where Cohn could write.", "\u201cNo.\u201d William Campbell held the sheet around his head. \u201cDear sheet,\u201d he said. He breathed against it gently. \u201cPretty sheet. You love me, don\u2019t you, sheet?", "\u201cDon\u2019t worry about money,\u201d Mike said. \u201cYou can pay for the car, Jake, and I\u2019ll send you my share.\u201d", "Now on the day of the starting of the fiesta of San Fermin they had been in the wine-shops of the narrow streets of the town since early morning. Going down the streets in the morning on the way to mass in the cathedral, I heard them singing through the open doors of the shops. They were warming up. There were many people at the eleven o\u2019clock mass. San Fermin is also a religious festival.", "The girl stood up and walked to the end of the station. Across, on the other side, were fields of grain and trees along the banks of the Ebro. Far away, beyond the river, were mountains. The shadow of a cloud moved across the field of grain and she saw the river through the trees.", "\u201cAll I want is an even break,\u201d Manuel said reasoningly. \u201cWhen I go out there I want to be able to call my shots on the bull. It only takes one good picador.\u201d", "So we rolled poker dice out of a deep leather dice-cup. Bill was out first roll. Mike lost to me and handed the bartender a hundred-franc note. The whiskeys were twelve francs apiece. We had another round and Mike lost again.", "\u201cAll right. Have it your own way. Road to hell paved with unbought stuffed dogs. Not my fault.\u201d", "The next two days in Pamplona were quiet, and there were no more rows. The town was getting ready for the fiesta. Workmen put up the gate-posts that were to shut off the side streets when the bulls were released from the corrals and came running through the streets in the morning on their way to the ring. The workmen dug holes and fitted in the timbers, each timber numbered for its regular place. Out on the plateau beyond the town employees of the bull-ring exercised picador horses, galloping them stiff-legged on the hard, sun-baked fields behind the bull-ring.", "\u201cAll my life I\u2019ve wanted to go on a trip like that,\u201d Cohn said. He sat down. \u201cI\u2019ll be too old before I can ever do it.\u201d", "\u201cPerhaps you have eaten enough of the beans, dear Scripps,\u201d the elderly waitress, now his wife, said. The drummer looked up from his paper. Scripps noticed that it was the Detroit News. There was a fine paper.", "The foreman put his finger in his mouth to moisten it and held it up in the air. He felt the warm breeze on his finger. He shook his head ruefully and smiled at the men, a little grimly perhaps.", "\u201cOh, Brett! Brett!\u201d the little Greek portrait-painter, who called himself a duke, and whom everybody called Zizi, pushed up to her. \u201cI got something fine to tell you.\u201d", "\u201cI\u2019m sorry,\u201d Jack says. \u201cI didn\u2019t mean to foul you.\u201d", "We all had the same medals, except the boy with the black silk bandage across his face, and he had not been at the front long enough to get any medals. The tall boy with a very pale face who was to be a lawyer had been a lieutenant of Arditi and had three medals of the sort we each had only one of. He had lived a very long time with death and was a little detached. We were all a little detached, and there was nothing that held us together except that we met every afternoon at the hospital. Although, as we walked to the Cova through the tough part of the town, walking in the dark, with light and singing coming out of the wine shops, and sometimes having to walk into the street when the men and women would crowd together on the sidewalk so that we would have had to jostle them to get by, we felt held together by there being something that had happened that they, the people who disliked us, did not understand.", "\u201cI thought he was going to be sick. You weren\u2019t bored, were you, Robert?\u201d", "\u201cThat\u2019s it,\u201d said Mike. \u201cThey\u2019re stupid. I knew that was what it was.\u201d", "We kissed again on the stairs and as I called for the cordon the concierge muttered something behind her door. I went back up-stairs and from the open window watched Brett walking up the street to the big limousine drawn up to the curb under the arc-light. She got in and it started off. I turned around. On the table was an empty glass and a glass half-full of brandy and soda.", "\u201cThank you,\u201d Yogi said. He felt touched. Here among the simple aborigines, the only real Americans, he had found that true communion. The Indian looked at him, holding the sleeping Indian carefully that his head might not fall back upon the snow-covered logs.", "\u201cI don\u2019t know,\u201d Manuel said. \u201cI got to do it. If I can fix it so that I get an even break, that\u2019s all I want. I got to stick with it Manos.\u201d", "\u201cWhat did you do? Wake up?\u201d Bill asked. \u201cWhy didn\u2019t you spend the night?\u201d I stretched and rubbed my eyes.", "\u201cTo hell with that stuff,\u201d Hogan said. \u201cWhen you want to see me I\u2019m down in the office.\u201d", "Next morning I tipped every one a little too much at the hotel to make more friends, and left on the morning train for San Sebastian. At the station I did not tip the porter more than I should because I did not think I would ever see him again. I only wanted a few good French friends in Bayonne to make me welcome in case I should come back there again. I knew that if they remembered me their friendship would be loyal.", "\u201cAnd we could have all this,\u201d she said. \u201cAnd we could have everything and every day we make it more impossible.\u201d", "\"I told the boy I was a strange old man,\" he said. \"Now is when I must prove it.\"", "\u201cOf course it does. But I don\u2019t want anybody but you. I don\u2019t want anyone else. And I know it\u2019s perfectly simple.\u201d", "It was too good to last, he thought. I wish it had been a dream now and that I had never hooked the fish and was alone in bed on the newspapers.", "\u201cYes,\u201d said the girl. \u201cEverything tastes of liquorice. Especially all the things you\u2019ve waited so long for, like absinthe.\u201d", "\u201cWe\u2019re going trout-fishing. We\u2019re going trout-fishing in the Irati River, and we\u2019re going to get tight now at lunch on the wine of the country, and then take a swell bus ride.\u201d", "\u201cIf anybody comes in you tell them the cook is off, and if they keep after it, you tell them you\u2019ll go back and cook yourself. Do you get that, bright boy?\u201d", "In a good soldier in the war it went like this: First, you were brave because you didn\u2019t think anything could hit you, because you yourself were something special, and you knew that you could never die. Then you found out different. You were really scared then, but if you were a good soldier you functioned the same as before. Then, after you were wounded and not killed, with new men coming on, and going through your old processes, you hardened and became a good hard-boiled soldier. Then came the second crack, which is much worse than the first, and then you began doing good deeds, and being the boy Sir Philip Sidney, and storing up treasures in heaven.", "\u201cHe loves the sun,\u201d the American lady said. \u201cHe\u2019ll sing now in a little while.\u201d", "\"I am not religious,\" he said. \"But I will say ten Our Fathers and ten Hail Marys that I should catch this fish, and I promise to make a pilgrimage to the Virgen de Cobre if I catch him. That is a promise.\"", "He felt the light delicate pulling and then a harder pull when a sardine's head must have been more difficult to break from the hook. Then there was nothing.", "\u201cNo,\u201d Jack said. \u201cHe wants the title bad. They\u2019ll be shooting with him all right.\u201d", "He could not talk to the fish anymore because the fish had been ruined too badly. Then something came into his head.", "Manuel looked up at the stuffed bull. He had seen it often before. He felt a certain family interest in it. It had killed his brother, the promising one, about nine years ago. Manuel remembered the day.", "Didn\u2019t they know enough to keep back? Did they want to catch the bull\u2019s eye with the capes after he was fixed and ready? He had enough to worry about without that kind of thing.", "William Campbell shut his eyes. He was beginning to feel a slight nausea. He knew that this nausea would increase steadily, without there ever being the relief of sickness, until something were done against it. It was at this point that he suggested that Mr. Turner have a drink. Mr. Turner declined.", "Yogi had played centre at football and war had been much the same thing, intensely unpleasant. When you played football and had the ball, you were down with your legs spread out and the ball held out in front of you on the ground; you had to listen for the signal, decode it, and make the proper pass. You had to think about it all the time. While your hands were on the ball the opposing centre stood in front of you, and when you passed the ball he brought his hand up smash into your face and grabbed you with the other hand under the chin or under your armpit, and tried to pull you forward or shove you back to make a hole he could go through and break up the play. You were supposed to charge forward so hard you banged him out of the play with your body and put you both on the ground.", "\u201cShe\u2019s a drunk,\u201d I said. \u201cShe\u2019s in love with Mike Campbell, and she\u2019s going to marry him. He\u2019s going to be rich as hell some day.\u201d"], "fitzgerald": ["I walked back along the border of the lawn, traversed the gravel softly, and tiptoed up the veranda steps. The drawing-room curtains were open, and I saw that the room was empty. Crossing the porch where we had dined that June night three months before, I came to a small rectangle of light which I guessed was the pantry window. The blind was drawn, but I found a rift at the sill.", "Gloria shuddered suddenly as a river siren came moaning over the dusky roofs, and leaning back in till the ghostly curtains fell from her shoulder, she turned on the electric lamp. It was growing late. She knew there was some change in her purse, and she considered whether she would go down and have some coffee and rolls where the liberated subway made a roaring cave of Manhattan Street or eat the devilled ham and bread in the kitchen. Her purse decided for her. It contained a nickel and two pennies.", "They stood side by side examining it. I was going to ask to see the rubies when the phone rang, and Gatsby took up the receiver.", "\u201cThis son of mine,\u201d he heard her tell a room full of awestruck, admiring women one day, \u201cis entirely sophisticated and quite charming\u2014but delicate\u2014we\u2019re all delicate; here, you know.\u201d Her hand was radiantly outlined against her beautiful bosom; then sinking her voice to a whisper, she told them of the apricot cordial. They rejoiced, for she was a brave raconteuse, but many were the keys turned in sideboard locks that night against the possible defection of little Bobby or Barbara....", "All through supper he addressed her in the most respectful language, while Kerry made idiotic love to her on the other side, and she giggled and grinned. Amory was content to sit and watch the by-play, thinking what a light touch Kerry had, and how he could transform the barest incident into a thing of curve and contour. They all seemed to have the spirit of it more or less, and it was a relaxation to be with them. Amory usually liked men individually, yet feared them in crowds unless the crowd was around him. He wondered how much each one contributed to the party, for there was somewhat of a spiritual tax levied.", "\u201cOh, my Ga-od! Oh, my Ga-od! Oh, Ga-od! Oh, my Ga-od!\u201d", "\u201cI don\u2019t know whether or not you know what you\u2014what I\u2019m going to say. Lordy, Isabelle\u2014this sounds like a line, but it isn\u2019t.\u201d", "\"But I don't feel that way, Anthony. I can't be bothered resisting things I want. My way is not to want them\u2014to want nobody but you.\"", "This woman had clearly materialized out of Hume. The very froth of her brown gauzy dress was art emanation from Hume's leather arm there! If he looked long enough he would see Hume right through her and then he would be alone again in the room. He passed his fist across his eyes. He really must take up those trapeze exercises again.", "\u201cThey say Overton fainted when he got his Ivy bid\u2014Did he sign up the first day?\u2014oh, no. Tore over to Murray-Dodge on a bicycle\u2014afraid it was a mistake.\u201d", "\"Anybody can't be a war correspondent,\" objected Anthony. \"You have to have some newspaper willing to buy your stuff. And I can't spare the money to go over as a free-lance.\"", "At four, leaving Hilda by the bedside, she went to her room, and slipping with a shudder out of her evening dress, kicked it into a corner. She put on a house dress and returned to the nursery while Hilda went to make coffee.", "\u201cI wonder\u201d\u2014Amory paused\u2014\u201cif I could be. I honestly think so sometimes. That sounds like the devil, and I wouldn\u2019t say it to anybody except you.\u201d", "\"Oh, yes!\" she cried. \"Oh, yes! that's it: a little gray house with sort of white around and a whole lot of swamp maples just as brown and gold as an October picture in a gallery. Where can we find one?\"", "The blithesome Phyllis bore her twenty-five summers gayly from the train, but on the platform a ghastly sight met her eyes. There were Burne and Fred Sloane arrayed to the last dot like the lurid figures on college posters. They had bought flaring suits with huge peg-top trousers and gigantic padded shoulders. On their heads were rakish college hats, pinned up in front and sporting bright orange-and-black bands, while from their celluloid collars blossomed flaming orange ties. They wore black arm-bands with orange \u201cP\u2019s,\u201d and carried canes flying Princeton pennants, the effect completed by socks and peeping handkerchiefs in the same color motifs.", "In the distance a deep sound that had been audible for some moments identified itself by a plaintive mooing like that of a gigantic cow and by the pearly spot of a headlight apparent half a mile away. It was a steam-driven train this time, rumbling and groaning, and as it tumbled by with a monstrous complaint it sent a shower of sparks and cinders over the platform.", "\u201cI\u2019m thirty,\u201d I said. \u201cI\u2019m five years too old to lie to myself and call it honour.\u201d", "In a few hours you'll wake up, my darling\u2014and you'll be miserable, and disgusted with life. You'll be in Delaware or Carolina or somewhere and so unimportant. I don't believe there's any one alive who can contemplate themselves as an impermanent institution, as a luxury or an unnecessary evil. Very few of the people who accentuate the futility of life remark the futility of themselves. Perhaps they think that in proclaiming the evil of living they somehow salvage their own worth from the ruin\u2014but they don't, even you and I....", "The siren soared again, closer at hand, and then, with no anticipatory roar and clamor, a dark and sinuous body curved into view against the shadows far down the high-banked track, and with no sound but the rush of the cleft wind and the clocklike tick of the rails, moved toward the bridge\u2014it was an electric train. Above the engine two vivid blurs of blue light formed incessantly a radiant crackling bar between them, which, like a spluttering flame in a lamp beside a corpse, lit for an instant the successive rows of trees and caused Gloria to draw back instinctively to the far side of the road. The light was tepid, the temperature of warm blood.... The clicking blended suddenly with itself in a rush of even sound, and then, elongating in sombre elasticity, the thing roared blindly by her and thundered onto the bridge, racing the lurid shaft of fire it cast into the solemn river alongside. Then it contracted swiftly, sucking in its sound until it left only a reverberant echo, which died upon the farther bank.", "We waited for her down the road and out of sight. It was a few days before the Fourth of July, and a grey, scrawny Italian child was setting torpedoes in a row along the railroad track.", "She would be twenty-nine in February. As the long night waned she grew supremely conscious that she and beauty were going to make use of these next three months. At first she was not sure for what, but the problem resolved itself gradually into the old lure of the screen. She was in earnest now. No material want could have moved her as this fear moved her.", "How he loved to do any sort of thing with Clara! Shopping with her was a rare, epicurean dream. In every store where she had ever traded she was whispered about as the beautiful Mrs. Page.", "ROSALIND: I can\u2019t, Amory. I can\u2019t be shut away from the trees and flowers, cooped up in a little flat, waiting for you. You\u2019d hate me in a narrow atmosphere. I\u2019d make you hate me.", "(Then Bedlam creeps screaming out of the bottles: TANA plunges into the recondite mazes of the train song, the plaintive \"tootle toot-toot\" blending its melancholy cadences with the \"Poor Butter-fly (tink-atink), by the blossoms wait-ing\" of the phonograph. MURIEL is too weak with laughter to do more than cling desperately to BARNES, who, dancing with the ominous rigidity of an army officer, tramps without humor around the small space. ANTHONY is trying to hear RACHAEL'S whisper\u2014without attracting GLORIA's attention....", "\u201cDon\u2019t ask me\u2014same old things, I suppose. A month or two in Lake Geneva\u2014I\u2019m counting on you to be there in July, you know\u2014then there\u2019ll be Minneapolis, and that means hundreds of summer hops, parlor-snaking, getting bored\u2014But oh, Tom,\u201d he added suddenly, \u201chasn\u2019t this year been slick!\u201d", "\"Well, you've got to learn to be nice to men who are sad birds. You look as if you'd been insulted whenever you're thrown with any except the most popular boys. Why, Bernice, I'm cut in on every few feet\u2014and who does most of it? Why, those very sad birds. No girl can afford to neglect them.", "Gloria fell on her knees. The intervals between Anthony's speeches were like tourniquets winding on her heart. She found herself helplessly twisting the large buttons from a velvet cushion. Then:", "(RACHAEL smiles at him inscrutably. Two years have given her a sort of hard, well-groomed beauty.)", "\"I loathe women,\" she cried in a mild temper. \"What on earth can you say to them\u2014except talk 'lady-lady'? I've enthused over a dozen babies that I've wanted only to choke. And every one of those girls is either incipiently jealous and suspicious of her husband if he's charming or beginning to be bored with him if he isn't.\"", "He was employed in a vague personal capacity\u2014while he remained with Cody he was in turn steward, mate, skipper, secretary, and even jailor, for Dan Cody sober knew what lavish doings Dan Cody drunk might soon be about, and he provided for such contingencies by reposing more and more trust in Gatsby. The arrangement lasted five years, during which the boat went three times around the Continent. It might have lasted indefinitely except for the fact that Ella Kaye came on board one night in Boston and a week later Dan Cody inhospitably died.", "There was, however, one radical change in m\u00e9nage. The icy-hearted Scandinavian, whose austere cooking and sardonic manner of waiting on table had so depressed Gloria, gave way to an exceedingly efficient Japanese whose name was Tanalahaka, but who confessed that he heeded any summons which included the dissyllable \"Tana.\"", "She broke of with characteristic suddenness and sighed, \"Oh, sweet cooky!\" as her mood changed.", "\"Just floating round on my back. I'll be up in a minute. Let me tell you. The only thing I enjoyed was shocking people; wearing something quite impossible and quite charming to a fancy-dress party, going round with the fastest men in New York, and getting into some of the most hellish scrapes imaginable.\"", "Then they returned toward the Plaza, talking about nothing, but glad for the spring singing in the air and for the warm balm that lay upon the suddenly golden city. To their right was the Park, while at the left a great bulk of granite and marble muttered dully a millionaire's chaotic message to whosoever would listen: something about \"I worked and I saved and I was sharper than all Adam and here I sit, by golly, by golly!\"", "Afterward they visited a ticket speculator and, at a price, obtained seats for a new musical comedy called \"High Jinks.\" In the foyer of the theatre they waited a few moments to see the first-night crowd come in. There were opera cloaks stitched of myriad, many-colored silks and furs; there were jewels dripping from arms and throats and ear-tips of white and rose; there were innumerable broad shimmers down the middles of innumerable silk hats; there were shoes of gold and bronze and red and shining black; there were the high-piled, tight-packed coiffures of many women and the slick, watered hair of well-kept men\u2014most of all there was the ebbing, flowing, chattering, chuckling, foaming, slow-rolling wave effect of this cheerful sea of people as to-night it poured its glittering torrent into the artificial lake of laughter....", "\u201cIt was the twilight,\u201d he said wonderingly. \u201cI didn\u2019t feel as though I were speaking aloud. But I love you\u2014or adore you\u2014or worship you\u2014\u201d", "The men? Oh, she made them miserable, literally! There was only one who had kept any sort of dignity, and he had been a mere child, young Carter Kirby, of Kansas City, who was so conceited anyway that he just sailed out on his vanity one afternoon and left for Europe next day with his father. The others had been\u2014wretched. They never seemed to know when she was tired of them, and Gloria had seldom been deliberately unkind.", "\u201cI thought you knew, old sport. I\u2019m afraid I\u2019m not a very good host.\u201d", "Time, having no axe to grind, showered down upon them three days of afternoons. When the sun cleared the port-hole of Ardita's cabin an hour after dawn she rose cheerily, donned her bathing-suit, and went up on deck. The negroes would leave their work when they saw her, and crowd, chuckling and chattering, to the rail as she floated, an agile minnow, on and under the surface of the clear water. Again in the cool of the afternoon she would swim\u2014and loll and smoke with Carlyle upon the cliff; or else they would lie on their sides in the sands of the southern beach, talking little, but watching the day fade colorfully and tragically into the infinite langour of a tropical evening.", "They were heading straight in now toward the solid rock, which must have been well over a hundred feet tall, and not until they were within fifty yards of it did Ardita see their objective. Then she clapped her hands in delight. There was a break in the cliff entirely hidden by a curious overlapping of rock, and through this break the yacht entered and very slowly traversed a narrow channel of crystal-clear water between high gray walls. Then they were riding at anchor in a miniature world of green and gold, a gilded bay smooth as glass and set round with tiny palms, the whole resembling the mirror lakes and twig trees that children set up in sand piles.", "\"See that girl\u2014no, the pretty one with the big black dots on her veil. Too late\u2014she's gone. You missed somep'n.\"", "\"And finally,\" concluded Marjorie, \"poise and charm will just come. You'll wake up some morning knowing you've attained it and men will know it too.\"", "\u201cIt\u2019s a bitch,\u201d said Tom decisively. \u201cHere\u2019s your money. Go and buy ten more dogs with it.\u201d", "ANTHONY: And energy\u2014ambitious, well-directed energy. He's so entertaining\u2014he's so tremendously stimulating and exciting. Often there's something breathless in being with him.", "\u201cTable for four in the middle of the floor,\u201d yelled Phoebe. \u201cHurry, old dear, tell \u2019em we\u2019re here!\u201d", "The group closed in on them and for the first time in his life Samuel realized the insuperable inconvenience of being passionately detested. He gazed around helplessly at the glowering, violently hostile faces. He towered a head taller than his roommate, so if he hit back he'd be called a bully and have half a dozen more fights on his hands within five minutes; yet if he didn't he was a coward. For a moment he stood there facing Gilly's blazing eyes, and then, with a sudden choking sound, he forced his way through the ring and rushed from the room.", "Tuesday was freezing cold. He called at a bleak two o'clock and as they shook hands he wondered confusedly whether he had ever kissed her; it was almost unbelievable\u2014he seriously doubted if she remembered it.", "\u201cThere\u2019s something funny about a fellow that\u2019ll do a thing like that,\u201d said the other girl eagerly. \u201cHe doesn\u2019t want any trouble with anybody.\u201d", "But it seemed to him that there should be a difference in his attitude. All the distress that he had ever known, the sorrow and the pain, had been because of women. It was something that in different ways they did to him, unconsciously, almost casually\u2014perhaps finding him tender-minded and afraid, they killed the things in him that menaced their absolute sway.", "(Exit CECELIA. ROSALIND finished her hair and rises, humming. She goes up to the mirror and starts to dance in front of it on the soft carpet. She watches not her feet, but her eyes\u2014never casually but always intently, even when she smiles. The door suddenly opens and then slams behind AMORY, very cool and handsome as usual.", "\u201cWell,\u201d began Tom, \u201cit seems that the idea developed simultaneously in several heads. I was talking to Burne awhile ago, and he claims that it\u2019s a logical result if an intelligent person thinks long enough about the social system. They had a \u2018discussion crowd\u2019 and the point of abolishing the clubs was brought up by some one\u2014everybody there leaped at it\u2014it had been in each one\u2019s mind, more or less, and it just needed a spark to bring it out.\u201d", "\"Your father and I sat up all night hoping for the best\u2014or perhaps it's the worst. Lord knows you're welcome to her, my boy. She's run me crazy. Did you give her the Russian bracelet my detective got from that Mimi woman?\"", "\"Why, yes,\" admitted Marcia, unruffled. \"'At's all life is. Just going round kissing people.\"", "\"Tell you, Ahearn. Firs' you wanna get a house up here on the hill. Get Stearne house or Ridgeway house. Wanna have it so people say: 'There's Ahearn house.' Solid, you know, tha's effec' it gives.\"", "\"I leave the birds to Dick,\" said Maury hurriedly. \"I speak erratically, in disassociated fragments.\"", "\u201cOh, do!\u2014or rather, don\u2019t! Why are all the exciting things so uncomfortable, like fighting and exploring and ski-ing in Canada? By the way, we\u2019re going to ride up Harper\u2019s Hill. I think that comes in our programme about five o\u2019clock.\u201d", "\u201cNobody\u2019s coming to tea. It\u2019s too late!\u201d He looked at his watch as if there was some pressing demand on his time elsewhere. \u201cI can\u2019t wait all day.\u201d", "Anthony Patch had ceased to be an individual of mental adventure, of curiosity, and had become an individual of bias and prejudice, with a longing to be emotionally undisturbed. This gradual change had taken place through the past several years, accelerated by a succession of anxieties preying on his mind. There was, first of all, the sense of waste, always dormant in his heart, now awakened by the circumstances of his position. In his moments of insecurity he was haunted by the suggestion that life might be, after all, significant. In his early twenties the conviction of the futility of effort, of the wisdom of abnegation, had been confirmed by the philosophies he had admired as well as by his association with Maury Noble, and later with his wife.", "\u201cI used to come out here alone at night, oh, three months ago, and I always stopped at that cross-road we just passed. There were the woods looming up ahead, just as they do now, there were dogs howling and the shadows and no human sound. Of course, I peopled the woods with everything ghastly, just like you do; don\u2019t you?\u201d", "They had been walking homeward between mounds of high-piled snow and under a sun which Sally Carrol scarcely recognized. They passed a little girl done up in gray wool until she resembled a small Teddy bear, and Sally Carrol could not resist a gasp of maternal appreciation.", "\u201cThey\u2019re some people Wolfshiem wanted to do something for. They\u2019re all brothers and sisters. They used to run a small hotel.\u201d", "He differed from the healthy type that was essentially middle class\u2014he never seemed to perspire. Some people couldn\u2019t be familiar with a chauffeur without having it returned; Humbird could have lunched at Sherry\u2019s with a colored man, yet people would have somehow known that it was all right. He was not a snob, though he knew only half his class. His friends ranged from the highest to the lowest, but it was impossible to \u201ccultivate\u201d him. Servants worshipped him, and treated him like a god.", "Amory had decided definitely on Princeton, even though he would be the only boy entering that year from St. Regis\u2019. Yale had a romance and glamour from the tales of Minneapolis, and St. Regis\u2019 men who had been \u201ctapped for Skull and Bones,\u201d but Princeton drew him most, with its atmosphere of bright colors and its alluring reputation as the pleasantest country club in America. Dwarfed by the menacing college exams, Amory\u2019s school days drifted into the past. Years afterward, when he went back to St. Regis\u2019, he seemed to have forgotten the successes of sixth-form year, and to be able to picture himself only as the unadjustable boy who had hurried down corridors, jeered at by his rabid contemporaries mad with common sense.", "His favorite diversion until he was fourteen was his stamp collection; enormous, as nearly exhaustive as a boy's could be\u2014his grandfather considered fatuously that it was teaching him geography. So Anthony kept up a correspondence with a half dozen \"Stamp and Coin\" companies and it was rare that the mail failed to bring him new stamp-books or packages of glittering approval sheets\u2014there was a mysterious fascination in transferring his acquisitions interminably from one book to another. His stamps were his greatest happiness and he bestowed impatient frowns on any one who interrupted him at play with them; they devoured his allowance every month, and he lay awake at night musing untiringly on their variety and many-colored splendor.", "Then there was a sound of chairs in the dining-room and the men strolled in. Evylyn saw at once that her worst fears were realized. Harold's face was flushed and his words ran together at the ends of sentences, while Tom Lowrie lurched when he walked and narrowly missed Irene's lap when he tried to sink onto the couch beside her. He sat there blinking dazedly at the company. Evylyn found herself blinking back at him, but she saw no humor in it.", "ROSALIND: (With a scornful smile) Engaged? Why, you little lunatic! If mother heard you talking like that she\u2019d send you off to boarding-school, where you belong.", "Upon this refusal Anthony had started to the telegraph office intending to wire Gloria to come South\u2014he reached the door and receded despairingly, seeing the utter impracticability of such a move. Then he had spent the evening quarrelling irritably with Dot, and returned to camp morose and angry with the world. There had been a disagreeable scene, in the midst of which he had precipitately departed. What was to be done with her did not seem to concern him vitally at present\u2014he was completely absorbed in the disheartening silence of his wife....", "\"G'by, liberty,\" he said sullenly. \"G'by, everything except bein' an officer's dog.\"", "\u201cDear, don\u2019t think of getting out of bed yet. I\u2019ve always suspected that early rising in early life makes one nervous. Clothilde is having your breakfast brought up.\u201d", "\"She out. Wait, I tell\u2014\" Again he screwed up his face for action. \"My typewutta\u2014\u2014\"", "The way became scarred with deepening ruts and insidious shoulders of stone. Three farmhouses faced them momentarily, slid by. A town sprang up in a cluster of dull roofs around a white tall steeple.", "He had hoped to find his grandfather dead, but had learned by telephoning from the pier that Adam Patch was comparatively well again\u2014the next day he had concealed his disappointment and gone out to Tarrytown. Five miles from the station his taxicab entered an elaborately groomed drive that threaded a veritable maze of walls and wire fences guarding the estate\u2014this, said the public, was because it was definitely known that if the Socialists had their way, one of the first men they'd assassinate would be old Cross Patch.", "\u201cYes,\u201d admitted the child calmly. \u201cAunt Jordan\u2019s got on a white dress too.\u201d", "But she would not believe him. There had been something in the details he had chosen to describe that made her cry herself asleep that night, for the kitten, for Anthony for herself, for the pain and bitterness and cruelty of all the world.", "\"April 11th.\u2014Patch actually called up to-day! and when he forswore me about a month ago he fairly raged out the door. I'm gradually losing faith in any man being susceptible to fatal injuries.", "Another pause. A waiter knocked and came in with crushed mint and ice but the silence was unbroken by his \u201cthank you\u201d and the soft closing of the door. This tremendous detail was to be cleared up at last.", "Mr. Gilbert became, for the first and last time in his life, a truly pathetic figure. That woman he had broken to wait upon his body and play congregation to his mind had ironically deserted him\u2014just when he could not much longer have supported her. Never again would he be able so satisfactorily to bore and bully a human soul.", "Anthony could not help wondering what possible \"fancy stuff\" he had learned at Buckleigh in nineteen-eleven. An irrepressible idea that it was some sort of needlework recurred to him throughout the rest of the conversation.", "And so it happened that on a warm windy evening I drove over to East Egg to see two old friends whom I scarcely knew at all. Their house was even more elaborate than I expected, a cheerful red-and-white Georgian Colonial mansion, overlooking the bay. The lawn started at the beach and ran towards the front door for a quarter of a mile, jumping over sundials and brick walks and burning gardens\u2014finally when it reached the house drifting up the side in bright vines as though from the momentum of its run. The front was broken by a line of French windows, glowing now with reflected gold and wide open to the warm windy afternoon, and Tom Buchanan in riding clothes was standing with his legs apart on the front porch.", "Amory became thirteen, rather tall and slender, and more than ever on to his Celtic mother. He had tutored occasionally\u2014the idea being that he was to \u201ckeep up,\u201d at each place \u201ctaking up the work where he left off,\u201d yet as no tutor ever found the place he left off, his mind was still in very good shape. What a few more years of this life would have made of him is problematical. However, four hours out from land, Italy bound, with Beatrice, his appendix burst, probably from too many meals in bed, and after a series of frantic telegrams to Europe and America, to the amazement of the passengers the great ship slowly wheeled around and returned to New York to deposit Amory at the pier. You will admit that if it was not life it was magnificent.", "\u201cHe\u2019s quite dead, all right. The car turned over. Two of the men that weren\u2019t hurt just carried the others in, but this one\u2019s no use.\u201d", "They stopped and stared at each other, and Anthony wondered if the cold made his own face as repellent as Dick Caramel's, whose nose was crimson, whose bulging brow was blue, whose yellow unmatched eyes were red and watery at the rims. After a moment they began walking again.", "\"All right!\" called Mr. Debris. \"That's enough, thank you. That's plenty. Get up\u2014that's enough.\"", "(They are interrupted by a clamor outside, unmistakable as that of two sexes in conversation and laughter. Then there enter the room in a body ANTHONY, GLORIA, RICHARD CARAMEL, MURIEL KANE, RACHAEL BARNES and RODMAN BARNES, her husband. They surge about MAURY, illogically replying \"Fine!\" to his general \"Hello.\" ... ANTHONY, meanwhile, approaches his other guest.)", "He was profoundly affected by the fact that Tom was there. But he would be uneasy anyhow until he had given them something, realizing in a vague way that that was all they came for. Mr. Sloane wanted nothing. A lemonade? No, thanks.", "\u201cWhy decide?\u201d suggested Kerry. \u201cBetter drift, like me. I\u2019m going to sail into prominence on Burne\u2019s coat-tails.\u201d", "Gillespie failed to understand why Amory was smiling delightedly all through lunch. He thought perhaps he was one of these hollow optimists.", "\u201cWell, this would interest you. It wouldn\u2019t take up much of your time and you might pick up a nice bit of money. It happens to be a rather confidential sort of thing.\u201d", "\"Thank you.\" Then, as though returning a complementary politeness: \"How is your grandfather?\"", "Of the things they possessed in common, greatest of all was their almost uncanny pull at each other's hearts. The day they left the hotel in Coronado she sat down on one of the beds while they were packing, and began to weep bitterly.", "\"He tries to go to life. So does every author except the very worst, but after all most of them live on predigested food. The incident or character may be from life, but the writer usually interprets it in terms of the last book he read. For instance, suppose he meets a sea captain and thinks he's an original character. The truth is that he sees the resemblance between the sea captain and the last sea captain Dana created, or who-ever creates sea captains, and therefore he knows how to set this sea captain on paper.", "\"Oh, yes, that's always easy. When the few bonds we have that are paying any interest at all are only worth between fifty and eighty cents on the dollar. We lose about half the bond every time we sell.\"", "\"Anthony's right. It's no fun to go around when you have the sense that people are looking at you in a certain way.\"", "Tom D\u2019Invilliers and Amory walked late in those days. A gambling fever swept through the sophomore class and they bent over the bones till three o\u2019clock many a sultry night. After one session they came out of Sloane\u2019s room to find the dew fallen and the stars old in the sky.", "\u201cIf I thought you were a bomb thrower I\u2019d run you over to the Newark jail. That\u2019s what I think of Socialists.\u201d", "\"I'm a solid block of ice,\" murmured Gloria casually, glancing around with eyes whose irises were of the most delicate and transparent bluish white. \"What a slick fire! We found a place where you could stand on an iron-bar grating, sort of, and it blew warm air up at you\u2014but Dick wouldn't wait there with me. I told him to go on alone and let me be happy.\"", "\"You've heard of the new poetry movement. You haven't? Well, it's a lot of young poets that are breaking away from the old forms and doing a lot of good. Well, what I was going to say was that my book is going to start a new prose movement, a sort of renaissance.\"", "\"Don't you, usually?\" She had caught quickly at his remark, as she always did at any unexplained allusion to herself, however faint.", "\u201cI\u2019ve noticed you this year and I\u2014I like you. I think you have in you the makings of a\u2014a very good man.\u201d", "\"I am reasonable,\" she said shortly. \"I don't want any drunken men in the house.\"", "\"I don't guess this is a very kissable climate, is it? I mean, it makes you so you don't want to sit round, doesn't it?\"", "\"Me\u20141881? Why sure! I was second-line stuff when the Florodora Sextette was still in the convent. I was the original nurse to Mrs. Sol Smith's Juliette. Why, Omar, I was a canteen singer during the War of 1812.\"", "He found his way slowly over the jostled evening mass of Times Square, which the chariot race and its thousand satellites made rarely beautiful and bright and intimate with carnival. Faces swirled about him, a kaleidoscope of girls, ugly, ugly as sin\u2014too fat, too lean, yet floating upon this autumn air as upon their own warm and passionate breaths poured out into the night. Here, for all their vulgarity, he thought, they were faintly and subtly mysterious. He inhaled carefully, swallowing into his lungs perfume and the not unpleasant scent of many cigarettes. He caught the glance of a dark young beauty sitting alone in a closed taxicab.", "MAURY: You're late. Been racing the postman down the block? We've been clawing over your character.", "\"Then why couldn't we have stayed at the Merriams'?\" he burst out. \"Why go home when we were having a perfectly decent time? They asked us to supper.\"", "\u201cNo, but the car passed me down the road, going faster\u2019n forty. Going fifty, sixty.\u201d", "In mid-July came rumors, and then orders, that concerned a change of camp. The brigade was to move to an empty cantonment, a hundred miles farther south, there to be expanded into a division. At first the men thought they were departing for the trenches, and all evening little groups jabbered in the company street, shouting to each other in swaggering exclamations: \"Su-u-ure we are!\" When the truth leaked out, it was rejected indignantly as a blind to conceal their real destination. They revelled in their own importance.", "\"Oh, I'll look in those careful account-books we kept,\" he remarked ironically, and then added: \"Two rents a good part of the time, clothes, travel\u2014why, each of those springs in California cost about four thousand dollars. That darn car was an expense from start to finish. And parties and amusements and\u2014oh, one thing or another.\"", "\u201cI\u2019ve made a small investigation of this fellow,\u201d he continued. \u201cI could have gone deeper if I\u2019d known\u2014\u201d", "Down-stairs, in the club\u2019s great room, she was surrounded for a moment by the girls she had met in the afternoon, then she heard Sally\u2019s voice repeating a cycle of names, and found herself bowing to a sextet of black and white, terribly stiff, vaguely familiar figures. The name Blaine figured somewhere, but at first she could not place him. A very confused, very juvenile moment of awkward backings and bumpings followed, and every one found himself talking to the person he least desired to. Isabelle manoeuvred herself and Froggy Parker, freshman at Harvard, with whom she had once played hop-scotch, to a seat on the stairs. A humorous reference to the past was all she needed.", "\"Maybe I am.\" Dick had reached the stage where he no longer fought, but submitted. He must be an ancient soul, he fancied grotesquely; so old as to be absolutely rotten. However, the reiteration of the phrase still somewhat embarrassed him and sent uncomfortable shivers up his back. He changed the subject.", "Dick shook his head with a lofty stubbornness. \"Same old futile cynic,\" he said. \"It's just a mode of being sorry for yourself. You don't do anything\u2014so nothing matters.\"", "The first thing he said to her was: \"Why, you've bobbed your hair!\" and she answered: \"Yes, isn't it gorgeous?\"", "Though Draycott Deyo was in the throes of difficulties concerning baptism by immersion and might possibly have seen a connection, it must be admitted that he did not. He considered feminine bathing an immoral subject, and gave her some of his ideas on the depravity of modern society.", "(At this point GLORIA, freshly tinted and lustful of admiration and entertainment, rejoins the party, followed by her two friends. For several moments the conversation becomes entirely fragmentary. GLORIA calls ANTHONY aside.)", "\"Oh, I know. They're all right when they come North to college, but of all the hangdog, ill-dressed, slovenly lot I ever saw, a bunch of small-town Southerners are the worst!\"", "So Horace finally consented, and all through a baking summer he spent three and sometimes four evenings a week experimenting on the trapeze in Skipper's Gymnasium. And in August he admitted to Marcia that it made him capable of more mental work during the day.", "She had reached a turning-point thirty feet down; she heard a faint muffled answer far to the left, and with a touch of panic fled toward it. She passed another turning, two more yawning alleys.", "Michaelis was astonished; they had been neighbours for four years, and Wilson had never seemed faintly capable of such a statement. Generally he was one of these worn-out men: when he wasn\u2019t working, he sat on a chair in the doorway and stared at the people and the cars that passed along the road. When anyone spoke to him he invariably laughed in an agreeable, colourless way. He was his wife\u2019s man and not his own.", "The door-bell rang abruptly and he started as though he had been dealt a blow. Recovering himself, he went into the hall and opened the outer door. It was Dot.", "ANTHONY: (With his thin, somewhat uncertain face at its most convinced) But not indomitable energy. Some day, bit by bit, it'll blow away, and his rather impressive talent with it, and leave only a wisp of a man, fretful and egotistic and garrulous.", "Dalyrimple started at this repetition of a phrase he had thought of so much lately. There was a sudden ring at the door-bell.", "No telephone message arrived, but the butler went without his sleep and waited for it until four o\u2019clock\u2014until long after there was anyone to give it to if it came. I have an idea that Gatsby himself didn\u2019t believe it would come, and perhaps he no longer cared. If that was true he must have felt that he had lost the old warm world, paid a high price for living too long with a single dream. He must have looked up at an unfamiliar sky through frightening leaves and shivered as he found what a grotesque thing a rose is and how raw the sunlight was upon the scarcely created grass. A new world, material without being real, where poor ghosts, breathing dreams like air, drifted fortuitously about\u2026 like that ashen, fantastic figure gliding toward him through the amorphous trees.", "She thought again of those isolated country houses that her train had passed, and of the life there the long winter through\u2014the ceaseless glare through the windows, the crust forming on the soft drifts of snow, finally the slow cheerless melting and the harsh spring of which Roger Patton had told her. Her spring\u2014to lose it forever\u2014with its lilacs and the lazy sweetness it stirred in her heart. She was laying away that spring\u2014afterward she would lay away that sweetness.", "For over a moment Gloria made no sound. Her lips were still curled; her glance was straight, proud, remote. Then her eyes blurred a little, and she murmured three words half aloud to the death-bound fire:", "\u201cYou\u2019re more stupid then,\u201d he declared rather impatiently. \u201cIntellect is no protection from sex any more than convention is...\u201d", "In 1915 Horace Tarbox was thirteen years old. In that year he took the examinations for entrance to Princeton University and received the Grade A\u2014excellent\u2014in C\u00e6sar, Cicero, Vergil, Xenophon, Homer, Algebra, Plane Geometry, Solid Geometry, and Chemistry.", "One Hundred and Twenty-seventh Street\u2014or One Hundred and Thirty-seventh Street.... Two and three look alike\u2014no, not much. Seat damp... are clothes absorbing wetness from seat, or seat absorbing dryness from clothes?... Sitting on wet substance gave appendicitis, so Froggy Parker\u2019s mother said. Well, he\u2019d had it\u2014I\u2019ll sue the steamboat company, Beatrice said, and my uncle has a quarter interest\u2014did Beatrice go to heaven?... probably not\u2014He represented Beatrice\u2019s immortality, also love-affairs of numerous dead men who surely had never thought of him... if it wasn\u2019t appendicitis, influenza maybe.", "\u201cI have just made a great decision,\u201d said Eleanor after another pause, \u201cand that is why I\u2019m here, to answer another of your questions. I have just decided that I don\u2019t believe in immortality.\u201d", "Four eyes\u2014Warren's and Marjorie's\u2014stared at her, challenged her, defied her. For another second she wavered wildly.", "The sixty acres of the estate were dotted with old and new summer houses and many fountains and white benches that came suddenly into sight from foliage-hung hiding-places; there was a great and constantly increasing family of white cats that prowled the many flower-beds and were silhouetted suddenly at night against the darkening trees. It was on one of the shadowy paths that Beatrice at last captured Amory, after Mr. Blaine had, as usual, retired for the evening to his private library. After reproving him for avoiding her, she took him for a long tete-a-tete in the moonlight. He could not reconcile himself to her beauty, that was mother to his own, the exquisite neck and shoulders, the grace of a fortunate woman of thirty.", "\"I am going ashore,\" he said slowly. \"I will be out again at nine o'clock to-night. When I return we start back to New York, wither I shall turn you over to your aunt for the rest of your natural, or rather unnatural, life.\" He paused and looked at her, and then all at once something in the utter childness of her beauty seemed to puncture his anger like an inflated tire, and render him helpless, uncertain, utterly fatuous.", "The fact that he had one was insisted upon wherever he was known. His acquaintances resented the fact that he turned up in popular caf\u00e9s with her and, leaving her at a table, sauntered about, chatting with whomsoever he knew. Though I was curious to see her, I had no desire to meet her\u2014but I did. I went up to New York with Tom on the train one afternoon, and when we stopped by the ash-heaps he jumped to his feet and, taking hold of my elbow, literally forced me from the car.", "\u201cDon\u2019t you call me \u2018old sport\u2019!\u201d cried Tom. Gatsby said nothing. \u201cWalter could have you up on the betting laws too, but Wolfshiem scared him into shutting his mouth.\u201d", "\u201cDoes it?\u201d He turned his eyes toward it absently. \u201cI have been glancing into some of the rooms. Let\u2019s go to Coney Island, old sport. In my car.\u201d", "\"If I went to him,\" suggested Anthony, \"and said with appropriate biblical quotations that I'd walked too long in the way of unrighteousness and at last seen the light\u2014\" He broke off and glanced with a whimsical expression at his wife. \"I wonder what he'd do?\"", "He lived in New York and often brought home several of his friends for the week-end. Those were the days of the horse-car and in case of a crush it was, of course, the proper thing for any one of Samuel's set to rise and deliver his seat to a standing lady with a formal bow. One night in Samuel's junior year he boarded a car with two of his intimates. There were three vacant seats. When Samuel sat down he noticed a heavy-eyed laboring man sitting next to him who smelt objectionably of garlic, sagged slightly against Samuel and, spreading a little as a tired man will, took up quite too much room.", "She liked him immediately\u2014a reddish-brown mustache under watery blue eyes that had something in them that these other eyes lacked, some quality of appreciation. They exchanged stray sentences through dinner, and she made up her mind to see him again.", "\"But I guess Anthony Patch don't care much. He got his thirty million. And he's got his private physician along in case he doesn't feel just right about it. Has she been on deck?\" he asked.", "Through this twilight universe Daisy began to move again with the season; suddenly she was again keeping half a dozen dates a day with half a dozen men, and drowsing asleep at dawn with the beads and chiffon of an evening-dress tangled among dying orchids on the floor beside her bed. And all the time something within her was crying for a decision. She wanted her life shaped now, immediately\u2014and the decision must be made by some force\u2014of love, of money, of unquestionable practicality\u2014that was close at hand.", "The apartment was kept clean by an English servant with the singularly, almost theatrically, appropriate name of Bounds, whose technic was marred only by the fact that he wore a soft collar. Had he been entirely Anthony's Bounds this defect would have been summarily remedied, but he was also the Bounds of two other gentlemen in the neighborhood. From eight until eleven in the morning he was entirely Anthony's. He arrived with the mail and cooked breakfast. At nine-thirty he pulled the edge of Anthony's blanket and spoke a few terse words\u2014Anthony never remembered clearly what they were and rather suspected they were deprecative; then he served breakfast on a card-table in the front room, made the bed and, after asking with some hostility if there was anything else, withdrew.", "\"So do I,\" she confessed. \"I detest reformers, especially the sort who try to reform me.\"", "\"Well, just at the first the governor said something about a vacancy on his staff. I was sort of counting on that for a while, but I hear he's given it to Allen Gregg, you know, son of G. P. Gregg. He sort of forgot what he said to me\u2014just talking, I guess.\"", "SHE: No, you\u2014you go on\u2014you\u2019ve made me talk about myself. That\u2019s against the rules.", "Gatsby looked at me questioningly. He wanted to go and he didn\u2019t see that Mr. Sloane had determined he shouldn\u2019t.", "Wilson shook his head. His eyes narrowed and his mouth widened slightly with the ghost of a superior \u201cHm!\u201d", "\u201cGhosts are such dumb things,\u201d said Alec, \u201cthey\u2019re slow-witted. I can always outguess a ghost.\u201d", "PARAMORE: Oh, many things. I've led a very active life. Knocked about here and there. (His tone implies anything front lion-stalking to organized crime.)", "As Mr. Carleton piled assertion upon assertion Anthony began to feel a sort of disgusted confidence in him. The man appeared to know what he was talking about. Obviously prosperous, he had risen to the position of instructing others. It did not occur to Anthony that the type of man who attains commercial success seldom knows how or why, and, as in his grandfather's case, when he ascribes reasons, the reasons are generally inaccurate and absurd.", "It occurred to her that her husband should have taken lunch with her\u2014but he was generally so hurried at noon. She told Samuel all about him: he was a little smaller than Samuel, but, oh, much better-looking. He was a book-keeper and not making a lot of money, but they were very happy and expected to be rich within three or four years.", "\u201cWell, they say he\u2019s a nephew or a cousin of Kaiser Wilhelm\u2019s. That\u2019s where all his money comes from.\u201d", "\u201cTHE BIG MAN\u201d 1. Inclined to stupidity and unconscious of social values. 2. Thinks dress is superficial, and is inclined to be careless about it. 3.", "\"You are old, Maury,\" he agreed at length. \"The first signs of a very dissolute and wabbly senescence\u2014you have spent the afternoon talking about tan and a lady's legs.\"", "A little before three the Lutheran minister arrived from Flushing, and I began to look involuntarily out the windows for other cars. So did Gatsby\u2019s father. And as the time passed and the servants came in and stood waiting in the hall, his eyes began to blink anxiously, and he spoke of the rain in a worried, uncertain way. The minister glanced several times at his watch, so I took him aside and asked him to wait for half an hour. But it wasn\u2019t any use.", "After the football season he slumped into dreamy content. The night of the pre-holiday dance he slipped away and went early to bed for the pleasure of hearing the violin music cross the grass and come surging in at his window. Many nights he lay there dreaming awake of secret cafes in Mont Martre, where ivory women delved in romantic mysteries with diplomats and soldiers of fortune, while orchestras played Hungarian waltzes and the air was thick and exotic with intrigue and moonlight and adventure. In the spring he read \u201cL\u2019Allegro,\u201d by request, and was inspired to lyrical outpourings on the subject of Arcady and the pipes of Pan. He moved his bed so that the sun would wake him at dawn that he might dress and go out to the archaic swing that hung from an apple-tree near the sixth-form house.", "Myra was quite overcome. He turned the green eyes on her again. \u201cYou\u2019re the only girl in town I like much,\u201d he exclaimed in a rush of sentiment. \u201cYou\u2019re simpatico.\u201d", "\u201cWake up, Original Sin, and scrape yourself together. Be in front of Renwick\u2019s in half an hour. Somebody\u2019s got a car.\u201d He took the bureau cover and carefully deposited it, with its load of small articles, upon the bed.", "She wanted him to whine. If he had she would have reproached him bitterly, for she was not a little annoyed, but he only lay there so utterly miserable that she felt sorry for him, and kneeling down she stroked his head, saying how little it mattered, how little anything mattered so long as they loved each other. It was like their first year, and Anthony, reacting to her cool hand, to her voice that was soft as breath itself upon his ear, became almost cheerful, and talked with her of his future plans. He even regretted, silently, before he went to bed that he had so hastily mailed his resignation.", "\u201cNo, it\u2019s not exactly a police dog,\u201d said the man with disappointment in his voice. \u201cIt\u2019s more of an Airedale.\u201d He passed his hand over the brown washrag of a back. \u201cLook at that coat. Some coat. That\u2019s a dog that\u2019ll never bother you with catching cold.\u201d", "MAURY: Dick doesn't necessarily see more than any one else. He merely can put down a larger proportion of what he sees.", "Going to the rail be gave a curt command and immediately the crew of the rowboat scrambled up the ladder and ranged themselves in line before him, a coal-black and burly darky at one end and a miniature mulatto of four feet nine at to other. They seemed to be uniformly dressed in some sort of blue costume ornamented with dust, mud, and tatters; over the shoulder of each was slung a small, heavy-looking white sack, and under their arms they carried large black cases apparently containing musical instruments.", "\"Because it's\u2014it's fantastic. You know that in every sense of the word you're an agnostic. You'd laugh at any orthodox form of Christianity\u2014and then you come out with the statement that you believe in some silly rule of reincarnation.\"", "\u201cWell, then,\u201d complained Tom, his cracked voice rising plaintively, \u201cwhy do I have to come back at all? I\u2019ve learned all that Princeton has to offer. Two years more of mere pedantry and lying around a club aren\u2019t going to help. They\u2019re just going to disorganize me, conventionalize me completely. Even now I\u2019m so spineless that I wonder how I get away with it.\u201d", "\"All I think of ever is that I love you,\" she wailed. \"I value my body because you think it's beautiful. And this body of mine\u2014of yours\u2014to have it grow ugly and shapeless? It's simply intolerable. Oh, Anthony, I'm not afraid of the pain.\"", "A platinum ring with three medium diamonds, worth, probably, about seven hundred dollars. Diamonds were going up.", "\u201cIt always means brainy and well-educated,\u201d interrupted Amory. \u201cIt means having an active knowledge of the race\u2019s experience.\u201d Amory decided to be very rude. He turned to the big man. \u201cThe young man,\u201d he indicated the secretary with his thumb, and said young man as one says bell-boy, with no implication of youth, \u201chas the usual muddled connotation of all popular words.\u201d", "\"Oh, you make me tired. Do you imagine I have a very thrilling time dozing on this damn porch?\"", "Up in her bedroom window Sally Carrol Happer rested her nineteen-year-old chin on a fifty-two-year-old sill and watched Clark Darrow's ancient Ford turn the corner. The car was hot\u2014being partly metallic it retained all the heat it absorbed or evolved\u2014and Clark Darrow sitting bolt upright at the wheel wore a pained, strained expression as though he considered himself a spare part, and rather likely to break. He laboriously crossed two dust ruts, the wheels squeaking indignantly at the encounter, and then with a terrifying expression he gave the steering-gear a final wrench and deposited self and car approximately in front of the Happer steps. There was a heaving sound, a death-rattle, followed by a short silence; and then the air was rent by a startling whistle.", "They talked until three, from biology to organized religion, and when Amory crept shivering into bed it was with his mind aglow with ideas and a sense of shock that some one else had discovered the path he might have followed. Burne Holiday was so evidently developing\u2014and Amory had considered that he was doing the same. He had fallen into a deep cynicism over what had crossed his path, plotted the imperfectability of man and read Shaw and Chesterton enough to keep his mind from the edges of decadence\u2014now suddenly all his mental processes of the last year and a half seemed stale and futile\u2014a petty consummation of himself... and like a sombre background lay that incident of the spring before, that filled half his nights with a dreary terror and made him unable to pray. He was not even a Catholic, yet that was the only ghost of a code that he had, the gaudy, ritualistic, paradoxical Catholicism whose prophet was Chesterton, whose claqueurs were such reformed rakes of literature as Huysmans and Bourget, whose American sponsor was Ralph Adams Cram, with his adulation of thirteenth-century cathedrals\u2014a Catholicism which Amory found convenient and ready-made, without priest or sacraments or sacrifice.", "\u201cWhy shouldn\u2019t you be bored,\u201d yawned Tom. \u201cIsn\u2019t that the conventional frame of mind for the young man of your age and condition?\u201d", "Then his arm was about her again, and again she made no protest. But when his pink cheek came close she leaned away.", "In a frenzy of suspicion he rushed here and there about the apartment, hunting for some sign of masculine occupation, opening the bathroom cupboard, searching feverishly through the bureau drawers. Then he found something that made him stop suddenly and sit down on one of the twin beds, the corners of his mouth drooping as though he were about to weep. There in a corner of her drawer, tied with a frail blue ribbon, were all the letters and telegrams he had written her during the year past. He was suffused with happy and sentimental shame.", "\u201cShut off the damn graphophone,\u201d Amory cried, rather red in the face. \u201cI\u2019m not giving an exhibition.\u201d", "\u201cOf course I do,\u201d said Burne feebly. He was unversed in the arts of Phyllis, and was sure that this was merely a vapid form of kidding. Before an hour had passed he knew that he was indeed involved. Phyllis had pinned him down and served him up, informed him the train she was arriving by, and depressed him thoroughly. Aside from loathing Phyllis, he had particularly wanted to stag that game and entertain some Harvard friends.", "\"Well, my name really is Meadow, but my first name isn't Marcia\u2014 it's Veronica. I'm nineteen. Question\u2014how did the girl make her leap to the footlights? Answer\u2014she was born in Passaic, New Jersey, and up to a year ago she got the right to breathe by pushing Nabiscoes in Marcel's tea-room in Trenton. She started going with a guy named Robbins, a singer in the Trent House cabaret, and he got her to try a song and dance with him one evening.", "He remembered that during the previous month his janitor, to whom he had delivered a rather muddled lecture on the \"brother-hoove man,\" had come up next day and, on the basis of what had happened the night before, seated himself in the window seat for a cordial and chatty half-hour. Anthony wondered in horror if Gloria would regard him as he had regarded that man. Him\u2014Anthony Patch! Horror!", "Gloria began running her finger through a stray red-dish curl. Muriel licked her veil as she considered her next remark.", "\u201cNo, sir, not by a darn sight,\u201d said the worldly youth with emphasis, \u201cand I know that girl\u2019s as good as gold. I can tell.\u201d", "\"Yes. I want to. Dick said yesterday that if the weather was nice he was coming up in his car and take me for a ride in Central Park\u2014and look, the room's all full of sunshine.\"", "He was writing\u2014and in earnest at last. He had gone to Dick and listened for a tense hour to an elucidation of those minutiae of procedure which hitherto he had rather scornfully looked down upon. He needed money immediately\u2014he was selling bonds every month to pay their bills. Dick was frank and explicit:", "She had heard the sound of his approach and her form was silhouetted against the lighted door as she came out to meet him. \"There's some Frenchman here,\" she whispered nervously. \"I can't pronounce his name, but he sounds awful deep. You'll have to jaw with him.\"", "\u201cBut we heard it,\u201d insisted Daisy, surprising me by opening up again in a flower-like way. \u201cWe heard it from three people, so it must be true.\u201d", "\u201cWhat color is your hair?\u201d he asked intently. \u201cIt\u2019s bobbed, isn\u2019t it?\u201d", "\"I want you to tell me all about yourself,\" he said after a pause. \"Of course I have a general idea what you and mother did in Europe those fourteen years, and then we were all so worried, Lois, when you had pneumonia and couldn't come down with mother\u2014let's see that was two years ago\u2014and then, well, I've seen your name in the papers, but it's all been so unsatisfactory. I haven't known you, Lois.\"", "So in the end he entered, by way of his grandfather's letter, that Sanctum Americanum where sat the president of Wilson, Hiemer and Hardy at his \"cleared desk,\" and issued therefrom employed. He was to begin work on the twenty-third of February.", "\"Oh\u2014\" Her voice was full of real distress. Despairingly Anthony went to the phone and called the chambermaid.", ". . . She was calling, felt herself calling for Kieth, her lips mouthing the words that would not come:", "I took him into the drawing-room, where his son lay, and left him there. Some little boys had come up on the steps and were looking into the hall; when I told them who had arrived, they went reluctantly away.", "\"Exactly. That's my theory. You see there are thousands of Swedes up here. They come, I imagine, because the climate is very much like their own, and there's been a gradual mingling. There're probably not half a dozen here to-night, but\u2014we've had four Swedish governors.", "Usually, on nights like this, for there had been many lately, he could escape from this consuming introspection by thinking of children and the infinite possibilities of children\u2014he leaned and listened and he heard a startled baby awake in a house across the street and lend a tiny whimper to the still night. Quick as a flash he turned away, wondering with a touch of panic whether something in the brooding despair of his mood had made a darkness in its tiny soul. He shivered. What if some day the balance was overturned, and he became a thing that frightened children and crept into rooms in the dark, approached dim communion with those phantoms who whispered shadowy secrets to the mad of that dark continent upon the moon....", "Anthony did not want her to come South. He told himself that this was for many reasons\u2014he needed a rest from her and she from him. She would be bored beyond measure in town, and she would be able to see Anthony for only a few hours each day. But in his heart he feared that it was because he was attracted to Dorothy. As a matter of fact he lived in terror that Gloria should learn by some chance or intention of the relation he had formed.", "Amory closed his eyes as the ghostly procession drew near. The song soared so high that all dropped out except the tenors, who bore the melody triumphantly past the danger-point and relinquished it to the fantastic chorus. Then Amory opened his eyes, half afraid that sight would spoil the rich illusion of harmony.", "\"Just wait till I finish this letter,\" said Marjorie without looking round. \"I want to get it off in the next mail.\"", "Then on an instant the lights went out, and she was in complete darkness. She gave a small, frightened cry, and sank down into a cold little heap on the ice. She felt her left knee do something as she fell, but she scarcely noticed it as some deep terror far greater than any fear of being lost settled upon her. She was alone with this presence that came out of the North, the dreary loneliness that rose from ice-bound whalers in the Arctic seas, from smokeless, trackless wastes where were strewn the whitened bones of adventure. It was an icy breath of death; it was rolling down low across the land to clutch at her.", "These things were a regular part of their existence. Despite the resolutions of many Mondays it was tacitly understood as the week end approached that it should be observed with some sort of unholy excitement. When Saturday came they would not discuss the matter, but would call up this person or that from among their circle of sufficiently irresponsible friends, and suggest a rendezvous. Only after the friends had gathered and Anthony had set out decanters, would he murmur casually \"I guess I'll have just one high-ball myself\u2014\"", "\u201cDaisy, that\u2019s all over now,\u201d he said earnestly. \u201cIt doesn\u2019t matter any more. Just tell him the truth\u2014that you never loved him\u2014and it\u2019s all wiped out forever.\u201d", "\"Well,\" said Marjorie, \"no girl can permanently bolster up a lame-duck visitor, because these days it's every girl for herself. I've even tried to drop hints about clothes and things, and she's been furious\u2014given me the funniest looks. She's sensitive enough to know she's not getting away with much, but I'll bet she consoles herself by thinking that she's very virtuous and that I'm too gay and fickle and will come to a bad end. All unpopular girls think that way. Sour grapes!", "\u201cThis is a nice restaurant here,\u201d said Mr. Wolfshiem, looking at the presbyterian nymphs on the ceiling. \u201cBut I like across the street better!\u201d", "\"I don't follow you at all,\" complained Dick in a crestfallen tone. Infinitely dismayed, he seemed to bulge in protest. He was staring intently at Anthony and caroming off a succession of passers-by, who reproached him with fierce, resentful glances.", "Then the room seemed full of men and smoke. There was Tana in his white coat reeling about supported by Maury. Into his flute he was blowing a weird blend of sound that was known, cried Anthony, as the Japanese train-song. Joe Hull had found a box of candles and was juggling them, yelling \"One down!\" every time he missed, and Dick was dancing by himself in a fascinated whirl around and about the room."], "woolf": ["\u201cYes,\u201d said Helen, sticking her needle in again. \u201cI don\u2019t know why I\u2019m happy,\u201d she suddenly laughed, looking him full in the face. There was a considerable pause.", "\u201cNothing moves Hirst,\u201d Hewet laughed; he did not seem to be stung at all. \u201cUnless it were a transfinite number falling in love with a finite one\u2014I suppose such things do happen, even in mathematics.\u201d", "Terence picked up the sheet of paper and spread it out before Rachel. It was a continuation of the poem on God which he had begun in the chapel, and it was so indecent that Rachel did not understand half of it although she saw that it was indecent. Hewet began to fill in words where Hirst had left spaces, but he soon ceased; his pencil rolled on deck. Gradually they approached nearer and nearer to the bank on the right-hand side, so that the light which covered them became definitely green, falling through a shade of green leaves, and Mrs. Flushing set aside her sketch and stared ahead of her in silence. Hirst woke up; they were then called to luncheon, and while they ate it, the steamer came to a standstill a little way out from the bank.", "\u201cYou can\u2019t conceive how it interests me,\u201d he said. Indeed, his cigarette had gone out, and he had to light another.", "The happy family life had its effect upon Margaret's character. As a child, she would walk for hours alone, musing and contemplating and reasoning with herself of \"everything her senses did present\". She took no pleasure in activity of any kind. Toys did not amuse her, and she could neither learn foreign languages nor dress as other people did. Her great pleasure was to invent dresses for herself, which nobody else was to copy, \"for\", she remarks, \"I always took delight in a singularity, even in accoutrements of habits\".", "The Odyssey is merely a story of adventure, the instinctive story-telling of a sea-faring race. So we may begin it, reading quickly in the spirit of children wanting amusement to find out what happens next. But here is nothing immature; here are full-grown people, crafty, subtle, and passionate. Nor is the world itself a small one, since the sea which separates island from island has to be crossed by little hand-made boats and is measured by the flight of the sea-gulls. It is true that the islands are not thickly populated, and the people, though everything is made by hand, are not closely kept at work.", "Mr. Perrott followed her to a curved green seat under a tree. They looked at the fountain in front of them, which had long ceased to play. Evelyn kept looking at the fountain instead of thinking of what she was saying; the fountain without any water seemed to be the type of her own being.", "How divine!\u2014and yet what nonsense!\u201d She looked lightly round the room. \u201cI always think it\u2019s living, not dying, that counts. I really respect some snuffy old stockbroker who\u2019s gone on adding up column after column all his days, and trotting back to his villa at Brixton with some old pug dog he worships, and a dreary little wife sitting at the end of the table, and going off to Margate for a fortnight\u2014I assure you I know heaps like that\u2014well, they seem to me really nobler than poets whom every one worships, just because they\u2019re geniuses and die young. But I don\u2019t expect you to agree with me!\u201d", "\u201cIt was a wonderful sight,\u201d he said. \u201cThe lightning went right out over the sea, and lit up the waves and the ships far away. You can\u2019t think how wonderful the mountains looked too, with the lights on them, and the great masses of shadow. It\u2019s all over now.\u201d", "It was long before they moved, and when they moved it was with great reluctance. They stood together in front of the looking-glass, and with a brush tried to make themselves look as if they had been feeling nothing all the morning, neither pain nor happiness. But it chilled them to see themselves in the glass, for instead of being vast and indivisible they were really very small and separate, the size of the glass leaving a large space for the reflection of other things.", "She looked up Fleet Street. She walked just a little way towards St. Paul\u2019s, shyly, like some one penetrating on tiptoe, exploring a strange house by night with a candle, on edge lest the owner should suddenly fling wide his bedroom door and ask her business, nor did she dare wander off into queer alleys, tempting bye-streets, any more than in a strange house open doors which might be bedroom doors, or sitting-room doors, or lead straight to the larder. For no Dalloways came down the Strand daily; she was a pioneer, a stray, venturing, trusting.", "Rachel\u2019s heart beat hard. She was conscious of an extraordinary intensity in everything, as though their presence stripped some cover off the surface of things; but the greetings were remarkably commonplace.", "\u201cHullo, Richard,\u201d said somebody, taking him by the elbow, and, good Lord, there was old Peter, old Peter Walsh. He was delighted to see him\u2014ever so pleased to see him! He hadn\u2019t changed a bit. And off they went together walking right across the room, giving each other little pats, as if they hadn\u2019t met for a long time, Ellie Henderson thought, watching them go, certain she knew that man\u2019s face. A tall man, middle aged, rather fine eyes, dark, wearing spectacles, with a look of John Burrows.", "\u201cHelen thinks she\u2019s worse,\u201d he said. \u201cThere\u2019s no doubt she\u2019s frightfully ill. Rodriguez is useless. We must get another doctor.\u201d", "The fountain was in the middle of a little shrubbery, far from the house, with shrubs and trees all round it. There she came, even before the time, and they stood with the fountain between them, the spout (it was broken) dribbling water incessantly. How sights fix themselves upon the mind! For example, the vivid green moss.", "Ah, said St. Margaret\u2019s, like a hostess who comes into her drawing-room on the very stroke of the hour and finds her guests there already. I am not late. No, it is precisely half-past eleven, she says. Yet, though she is perfectly right, her voice, being the voice of the hostess, is reluctant to inflict its individuality. Some grief for the past holds it back; some concern for the present.", "\u201cPlease explain to me,\u201d he said. \u201cI feel sure Hirst didn\u2019t mean to hurt you.\u201d", "The clock, which had been wheezing for some minutes like an old man preparing to cough, now struck nine. The sound slightly disturbed certain somnolent merchants, government officials, and men of independent means who were lying back in their chairs, chatting, smoking, ruminating about their affairs, with their eyes half shut; they raised their lids for an instant at the sound and then closed them again. They had the appearance of crocodiles so fully gorged by their last meal that the future of the world gives them no anxiety whatever. The only disturbance in the placid bright room was caused by a large moth which shot from light to light, whizzing over elaborate heads of hair, and causing several young women to raise their hands nervously and exclaim, \u201cSome one ought to kill it!\u201d", "She moved; she crossed; he followed her. To embarrass her was the last thing he wished. Still if she stopped he would say \u201cCome and have an ice,\u201d he would say, and she would answer, perfectly simply, \u201cOh yes.\u201d", "She was trying to apologise for white underclothes fallen and scattered on the floor. For one second she opened a single eye, and saw that the room was tidy.", "That was one of the bonds between Sally and himself. There was a garden where they used to walk, a walled-in place, with rose-bushes and giant cauliflowers\u2014he could remember Sally tearing off a rose, stopping to exclaim at the beauty of the cabbage leaves in the moonlight (it was extraordinary how vividly it all came back to him, things he hadn\u2019t thought of for years,) while she implored him, half laughing of course, to carry off Clarissa, to save her from the Hughs and the Dalloways and all the other \u201cperfect gentlemen\u201d who would \u201cstifle her soul\u201d (she wrote reams of poetry in those days), make a mere hostess of her, encourage her worldliness. But one must do Clarissa justice. She wasn\u2019t going to marry Hugh anyhow. She had a perfectly clear notion of what she wanted.", "Voices were heard at the end of the corridor. Mrs. Ambrose was speaking low; William Pepper was remarking in his definite and rather acid voice, \u201cThat is the type of lady with whom I find myself distinctly out of sympathy. She\u2014\u201d", "One after another they rose and stretched themselves, and in a few minutes divided more or less into two separate parties. One of these parties was dominated by Hughling Elliot and Mrs. Thornbury, who, having both read the same books and considered the same questions, were now anxious to name the places beneath them and to hang upon them stores of information about navies and armies, political parties, natives and mineral products\u2014all of which combined, they said, to prove that South America was the country of the future.", "But, however much they differ individually, the Victorian essayists yet had something in common. They wrote at greater length than is now usual, and they wrote for a public which had not only time to sit down to its magazine seriously, but a high, if peculiarly Victorian, standard of culture by which to judge it. It was worth while to speak out upon serious matters in an essay; and there was nothing absurd in writing as well as one possibly could when, in a month or two, the same public which had welcomed the essay in a magazine would carefully read it once more in a book. But a change came from a small audience of cultivated people to a larger audience of people who were not quite so cultivated. The change was not altogether for the worse.", "Moreover, the Walpoles are not ducal. Horace Walpole's mother was a Miss Shorter; there is no mention of Lady Dorothy's mother in the present volume, but her great-grandmother was Mrs. Oldfield the actress, and, to her credit. Lady Dorothy was \"exceedingly proud\" of the fact. Thus she was not an extreme case of aristocracy; she was confined rather to a bird-cage than to an asylum; through the bars she saw people walking at large, and once or twice she made a surprising little flight into the open air. A gayer, brighter, more vivacious specimen of the caged tribe can seldom have existed; so that one is forced at times to ask whether what we call living in a cage is not the fate that wise people, condemned to a single sojourn upon earth, would choose.", "Lying in the hot sun her mind was fixed upon the characters of her aunts, their views, and the way they lived. Indeed this was a subject that lasted her hundreds of morning walks round Richmond Park, and blotted out the trees and the people and the deer. Why did they do the things they did, and what did they feel, and what was it all about? Again she heard Aunt Lucy talking to Aunt Eleanor. She had been that morning to take up the character of a servant, \u201cAnd, of course, at half-past ten in the morning one expects to find the housemaid brushing the stairs.\u201d How odd!", "\u201cAh, there\u2019s Mr. Hewet,\u201d said Mrs. Thornbury. \u201cMr. Hewet,\u201d she continued, \u201cdo come and sit by us. I was telling my husband how much you reminded me of a dear old friend of mine\u2014Mary Umpleby. She was a most delightful woman, I assure you.", "\u201cYou see, I\u2019m not as simple as most women,\u201d Evelyn continued. \u201cI think I want more. I don\u2019t know exactly what I feel.\u201d", "Cheerfully, almost gaily, the invincible thread of sound wound up into the air like the smoke from a cottage chimney, winding up clean beech trees and issuing in a tuft of blue smoke among the topmost leaves. \u201cAnd if some one should see, what matter they?\u201d", "Mrs. Chailey folded her sheets, but her expression testified to flatness within. The world no longer cared about her, and a ship was not a home. When the lamps were lit yesterday, and the sailors went tumbling above her head, she had cried; she would cry this evening; she would cry to-morrow. It was not home. Meanwhile she arranged her ornaments in the room which she had won too easily.", "A small crowd meanwhile had gathered at the gates of Buckingham Palace. Listlessly, yet confidently, poor people all of them, they waited; looked at the Palace itself with the flag flying; at Victoria, billowing on her mound, admired her shelves of running water, her geraniums; singled out from the motor cars in the Mall first this one, then that; bestowed emotion, vainly, upon commoners out for a drive; recalled their tribute to keep it unspent while this car passed and that; and all the time let rumour accumulate in their veins and thrill the nerves in their thighs at the thought of Royalty looking at them; the Queen bowing; the Prince saluting; at the thought of the heavenly life divinely bestowed upon Kings; of the equerries and deep curtsies; of the Queen\u2019s old doll\u2019s house; of Princess Mary married to an Englishman, and the Prince\u2014ah! the Prince! who took wonderfully, they said, after old King Edward, but was ever so much slimmer. The Prince lived at St. James\u2019s; but he might come along in the morning to visit his mother.", "She had sighted two sinister grey vessels, low in the water, and bald as bone, one closely following the other with the look of eyeless beasts seeking their prey. Consciousness returned to Richard instantly.", "\u201cWhat! You here?\u201d Evelyn exclaimed. \u201cJust caught a glimpse of you at lunch; but you wouldn\u2019t condescend to look at me.\u201d", "Mrs. Thornbury made a little exclamation, drew her lips together, and the tears rose in her eyes. Through them she looked at the hall which was now laid with great breadths of sunlight, and at the careless, casual groups of people who were standing beside the solid arm-chairs and tables. They looked to her unreal, or as people look who remain unconscious that some great explosion is about to take place beside them. But there was no explosion, and they went on standing by the chairs and the tables. Mrs. Thornbury no longer saw them, but, penetrating through them as though they were without substance, she saw the house, the people in the house, the room, the bed in the room, and the figure of the dead lying still in the dark beneath the sheets.", "\u201cThere it is,\u201d said Rezia, twirling Mrs. Peters\u2019 hat on the tips of her fingers. \u201cThat\u2019ll do for the moment. Later ...\u201d her sentence bubbled away drip, drip, drip, like a contented tap left running.", "Still, the sun was hot. Still, one got over things. Still, life had a way of adding day to day. Still, he thought, yawning and beginning to take notice\u2014Regent\u2019s Park had changed very little since he was a boy, except for the squirrels\u2014still, presumably there were compensations\u2014when little Elise Mitchell, who had been picking up pebbles to add to the pebble collection which she and her brother were making on the nursery mantelpiece, plumped her handful down on the nurse\u2019s knee and scudded off again full tilt into a lady\u2019s legs. Peter Walsh laughed out.", "If then in Sophocles the play is concentrated in the figures themselves, and in Euripides is to be retrieved from flashes of poetry and questions far flung and unanswered, \u00c6schylus makes these little dramas (the Agamemnon has 1663 lines; Lear about 2600), tremendous by stretching every phrase to the utmost, by sending them floating forth in metaphors, by bidding them rise up and stalk eyeless and majestic through the scene. To understand him it is not so necessary to understand Greek as to understand poetry. It is necessary to take that dangerous leap through the air without the support of words which Shakespeare also asks of us. For words, when opposed to such a blast of meaning, must give out, must be blown astray, and only by collecting in companies convey the meaning which each one separately is too weak to express. Connecting them in a rapid flight of the mind we know instantly and instinctively what they mean, but could not decant that meaning afresh into any other words.", "\"There!\" she exclaimed. \"It never struck me to ask. It never occurred to me that they could possibly produce anything.\"", "Here Helen passed them, and seeing Rachel arm-in-arm with a comparative stranger, looking excited, was amused, but at the same time slightly irritated. But they were immediately joined by Richard, who had enjoyed a very interesting talk with Willoughby and was in a sociable mood.", "\u201cIt is a horror,\u201d he remarked, \u201cthat we generally find in the very old, and seldom in the young.\u201d They both expressed their interest in what he told them; it seemed to them very strange. Another strange thing about the day was that the luncheon was forgotten by all of them until it was late in the afternoon, and then Mrs. Chailey waited on them, and looked strange too, because she wore a stiff print dress, and her sleeves were rolled up above her elbows. She seemed as oblivious of her appearance, however, as if she had been called out of her bed by a midnight alarm of fire, and she had forgotten, too, her reserve and her composure; she talked to them quite familiarly as if she had nursed them and held them naked on her knee. She assured them over and over again that it was their duty to eat.", "\u201cI\u2019ve got all his pamphlets,\u201d she said. \u201cLittle pamphlets. Little yellow books.\u201d It did not appear that she had read them.", "It was extraordinary to see the different expressions on their faces. A sort of hum went through the room, in which I could catch the words \"impure,\" \"baby,\" \"Castalia,\" and so on. Jane, who was herself considerably moved, put it to us:", "I send the first volume of Gibbon as I promised. Personally I find little to be said for the moderns, but I\u2019m going to send you Wedekind when I\u2019ve done him. Donne? Have you read Webster and all that set? I envy you reading them for the first time.", "He stayed, however, in apparent contentment for six days, playing with a microscope and a notebook in one of the many sparsely furnished sitting-rooms, but on the evening of the seventh day, as they sat at dinner, he appeared more restless than usual. The dinner-table was set between two long windows which were left uncurtained by Helen\u2019s orders. Darkness fell as sharply as a knife in this climate, and the town then sprang out in circles and lines of bright dots beneath them. Buildings which never showed by day showed by night, and the sea flowed right over the land judging by the moving lights of the steamers. The sight fulfilled the same purpose as an orchestra in a London restaurant, and silence had its setting.", "Afterwards he could remember standing by old Miss Parry\u2019s chair in the drawing-room. Clarissa came up, with her perfect manners, like a real hostess, and wanted to introduce him to some one\u2014spoke as if they had never met before, which enraged him. Yet even then he admired her for it. He admired her courage; her social instinct; he admired her power of carrying things through. \u201cThe perfect hostess,\u201d he said to her, whereupon she winced all over.", "\u201cAnd it came over me \u2018I might have married you,\u2019\u201d she said, thinking of Peter sitting there in his little bow-tie; with that knife, opening it, shutting it. \u201cJust as he always was, you know.\u201d", "\u201cTo be a leader of men,\u201d Richard soliloquised. \u201cIt\u2019s a fine career. My God\u2014what a career!\u201d", "Such are the visions. The solitary traveller is soon beyond the wood; and there, coming to the door with shaded eyes, possibly to look for his return, with hands raised, with white apron blowing, is an elderly woman who seems (so powerful is this infirmity) to seek, over a desert, a lost son; to search for a rider destroyed; to be the figure of the mother whose sons have been killed in the battles of the world. So, as the solitary traveller advances down the village street where the women stand knitting and the men dig in the garden, the evening seems ominous; the figures still; as if some august fate, known to them, awaited without fear, were about to sweep them into complete annihilation.", "\u201cI flit from branch to branch,\u201d continued Hewet. \u201cThe world is profoundly pleasant.\u201d He lay back on the bed, upon his arms.", "An offering for the sake of offering, perhaps. Anyhow, it was her gift. Nothing else had she of the slightest importance; could not think, write, even play the piano. She muddled Armenians and Turks; loved success; hated discomfort; must be liked; talked oceans of nonsense: and to this day, ask her what the Equator was, and she did not know.", "For an old woman of her age she was very restless, and for one of her clear, quick mind she was unusually perplexed. She could not settle to anything, so that she was relieved when the door opened. She went up to her husband, took him in her arms, and kissed him with unusual intensity, and then as they sat down together she began to pat him and question him as if he were a baby, an old, tired, querulous baby. She did not tell him about Miss Vinrace\u2019s death, for that would only disturb him, and he was put out already. She tried to discover why he was uneasy.", "In certain lights that mark on the wall seems actually to project from the wall. Nor is it entirely circular. I cannot be sure, but it seems to cast a perceptible shadow, suggesting that if I ran my finger down that strip of the wall it would, at a certain point, mount and descend a small tumulus, a smooth tumulus like those barrows on the South Downs which are, they say, either tombs or camps. Of the two I should prefer them to be tombs, desiring melancholy like most English people, and finding it natural at the end of a walk to think of the bones stretched beneath the turf.... There must be some book about it.", "\u201cOh, Yarmouth,\u201d said Mrs. Flushing, \u201cjust find my diary and see where ten days from now would bring us to, and ask the hall porter how many men \u2019ud be wanted to row eight people up the river for a week, and what it \u2019ud cost, and put it on a slip of paper and leave it on my dressing-table. Now\u2014\u201d she pointed at the door with a superb forefinger so that Rachel had to lead the way.", "\u201cAnd then Tristan goes like this, and Isolde\u2014oh!\u2014it\u2019s all too thrilling! Have you been to Bayreuth?\u201d", "\u201cNo, we didn\u2019t congratulate them,\u201d said Hewet. \u201cThey seemed very happy.\u201d", "As the little boat sidled up to the steamer, and the old man shipped his oars, he remarked once more pointing above, that ships all the world over flew that flag the day they sailed. In the minds of both the passengers the blue flag appeared a sinister token, and this the moment for presentiments, but nevertheless they rose, gathered their things together, and climbed on deck.", "\"\u2014Anyhow things aren't as bad with us as they are at Kinghampton. They say Mrs. Briscoe's Newfoundland dog follows her right up to the chancel rails when she takes the sacrament\u2014\"", "Mrs. Ambrose looked and listened obediently enough, but inwardly she was prey to an uneasy mood not readily to be ascribed to any one cause. Looking on shore as Mr. Flushing bade her, she thought the country very beautiful, but also sultry and alarming. She did not like to feel herself the victim of unclassified emotions, and certainly as the launch slipped on and on, in the hot morning sun, she felt herself unreasonably moved. Whether the unfamiliarity of the forest was the cause of it, or something less definite, she could not determine. Her mind left the scene and occupied itself with anxieties for Ridley, for her children, for far-off things, such as old age and poverty and death.", "The dusk fell as suddenly as the natives had warned them, the hollows of the mountain on either side filling up with darkness and the path becoming so dim that it was surprising to hear the donkeys\u2019 hooves still striking on hard rock. Silence fell upon one, and then upon another, until they were all silent, their minds spilling out into the deep blue air. The way seemed shorter in the dark than in the day; and soon the lights of the town were seen on the flat far beneath them.", "Can you imagine a very extraordinary cross between Moll Flanders and Lady Ritchie, between a rolling and rollicking woman of the town and a lady of breeding and refinement? Laetitia Pilkington (1712-1759) was something of the sort\u2014shady, shifty, adventurous, and yet, like Thackeray's daughter, like Miss Mitford, like Madame de S\u00e9vign\u00e9 and Jane Austen and Maria Edgeworth, so imbued with the old traditions of her sex that she wrote, as ladies talk, to give pleasure. Throughout her Memoirs, we can never forget that it is her wish to entertain, her unhappy fate to sob. Dabbing her eyes and controlling her anguish, she begs us to forgive an odious breach of manners which only the suffering of a lifetime, the intolerable persecutions of Mr. P\u2014\u2014n, the malignant, she must say the h\u2014\u2014-h, spite of Lady C\u2014\u2014t can excuse. For who should know better than the Earl of Killmallock's great-granddaughter that it is the part of a lady to hide her sufferings?", "But to go deeper, beneath what people said (and these judgements, how superficial, how fragmentary they are!) in her own mind now, what did it mean to her, this thing she called life? Oh, it was very queer. Here was So-and-so in South Kensington; some one up in Bayswater; and somebody else, say, in Mayfair. And she felt quite continuously a sense of their existence; and she felt what a waste; and she felt what a pity; and she felt if only they could be brought together; so she did it.", "\u201cOr is it only this damnable engagement?\u201d he continued. \u201cLet\u2019s be married here, before we go back\u2014or is it too great a risk? Are we sure we want to marry each other?\u201d", "No crime; love; he repeated, fumbling for his card and pencil, when a Skye terrier snuffed his trousers and he started in an agony of fear. It was turning into a man! He could not watch it happen! It was horrible, terrible to see a dog become a man! At once the dog trotted away.", "\u201cIt\u2019s so unpleasant, being cooped up with people one hardly knows,\u201d she remarked. \u201cPeople who mind being seen naked.\u201d", "\u201cI think it\u2019s very probable,\u201d he said. \u201cBut you must admit, Rachel, that we so seldom think of anything but ourselves that an occasional twinge is really rather pleasant.\u201d", "The lights had long since burnt out on John Paston's grave. But still Sir John delayed; no tomb replaced them. He had his excuses; what with the business of the lawsuit, and his duties at Court, and the disturbance of the civil wars, his time was occupied and his money spent. But perhaps something strange had happened to Sir John himself, and not only to Sir John dallying in London, but to his sister Margery falling in love with the bailiff, and to Walter making Latin verses at Eton, and to John flying his hawks at Paston. Life was a little more various in its pleasures.", "\u201cThere\u2019s Pepper writing to his aunt,\u201d said Hewet. \u201cShe must be a very remarkable old lady, eighty-five he tells me, and he takes her for walking tours in the New Forest. . . .", "\u201cNot a bit of it!\u201d said Mr. Flushing, turning round, for Mr. Pepper took a very long time to consider his move. \u201cIt\u2019s not cowardly to wish to live, Alice. It\u2019s the very reverse of cowardly. Personally, I\u2019d like to go on for a hundred years\u2014granted, of course, that I had the full use of my faculties. Think of all the things that are bound to happen!\u201d", "His poetry is first to be considered; of which it must be confessed that it has not often those felicities of diction which give lustre to sentiments, or that vigour of sentiment that animates diction; there is little of ardour, vehemence, or transport; there is very rarely the awfulness of grandeur, and not very often the splendour of elegance. He thinks justly; but he thinks faintly.", "\u201cTell Mr. Pepper,\u201d Rachel bade the servant. Husband and wife then sat down on one side of the table, with their niece opposite to them.", "Rows of brown backs paused for a moment and then leapt with a motion as if they were springing over waves out of sight. For a moment no one of them could believe that they had really seen live animals in the open\u2014a herd of wild deer, and the sight aroused a childlike excitement in them, dissipating their gloom.", "Voices crying behind them never reached through the waters in which they were now sunk. The repetition of Hewet\u2019s name in short, dissevered syllables was to them the crack of a dry branch or the laughter of a bird. The grasses and breezes sounding and murmuring all round them, they never noticed that the swishing of the grasses grew louder and louder, and did not cease with the lapse of the breeze. A hand dropped abrupt as iron on Rachel\u2019s shoulder; it might have been a bolt from heaven. She fell beneath it, and the grass whipped across her eyes and filled her mouth and ears.", "Rachel, though robbed of her audience, had gone on playing to herself. From John Peel she passed to Bach, who was at this time the subject of her intense enthusiasm, and one by one some of the younger dancers came in from the garden and sat upon the deserted gilt chairs round the piano, the room being now so clear that they turned out the lights. As they sat and listened, their nerves were quieted; the heat and soreness of their lips, the result of incessant talking and laughing, was smoothed away. They sat very still as if they saw a building with spaces and columns succeeding each other rising in the empty space. Then they began to see themselves and their lives, and the whole of human life advancing very nobly under the direction of the music.", "She would not say of any one in the world now that they were this or were that. She felt very young; at the same time unspeakably aged. She sliced like a knife through everything; at the same time was outside, looking on. She had a perpetual sense, as she watched the taxi cabs, of being out, out, far out to sea and alone; she always had the feeling that it was very, very dangerous to live even one day. Not that she thought herself clever, or much out of the ordinary.", "Surely then, if we ask this great master of the art of life to tell us his secret, he will advise us to withdraw to the inner room of our tower and there turn the pages of books, pursue fancy after fancy as they chase each other up the chimney, and leave the government of the world to others. Retirement and contemplation\u2014these must be the main elements of his prescription. But no; Montaigne is by no means explicit. It is impossible to extract a plain answer from that subtle, half smiling, half melancholy man, with the heavy-lidded eyes and the dreamy, quizzical expression. The truth is that life in the country, with one's books and vegetables and flowers, is often extremely dull.", "Yet rumours were at once in circulation from the middle of Bond Street to Oxford Street on one side, to Atkinson\u2019s scent shop on the other, passing invisibly, inaudibly, like a cloud, swift, veil-like upon hills, falling indeed with something of a cloud\u2019s sudden sobriety and stillness upon faces which a second before had been utterly disorderly. But now mystery had brushed them with her wing; they had heard the voice of authority; the spirit of religion was abroad with her eyes bandaged tight and her lips gaping wide. But nobody knew whose face had been seen. Was it the Prince of Wales\u2019s, the Queen\u2019s, the Prime Minister\u2019s? Whose face was it?", "\u201cThat\u2019s typical of Rachel,\u201d she said. \u201cShe changes her view of life about every other day. D\u2019you know, I believe you\u2019re just the person I want,\u201d she said, as they sat down, \u201cto help me complete her education? She\u2019s been brought up practically in a nunnery. Her father\u2019s too absurd.", "\u201cWhen I first saw you,\u201d he began, \u201cI thought you were like a creature who\u2019d lived all its life among pearls and old bones. Your hands were wet, d\u2019you remember, and you never said a word until I gave you a bit of bread, and then you said, \u2018Human Beings!\u2019\u201d", "\u201cI propose that each member of this party now gives a short biographical sketch of himself or herself,\u201d said Hirst, sitting upright. \u201cMiss Vinrace, you come first; begin.\u201d", "\u201cExpect to hear of me next in Petersburg or Teheran,\u201d he had said, turning to wave farewell from the steps of the Travellers\u2019. But a disease had broken out in the East, there was cholera in Russia, and he was heard of, not so romantically, in Lisbon. They had been through France; he had stopped at manufacturing centres where, producing letters of introduction, he had been shown over works, and noted facts in a pocket-book. In Spain he and Mrs. Dalloway had mounted mules, for they wished to understand how the peasants live. Are they ripe for rebellion, for example?", "When they woke next morning they had gone a considerable way up the river; on the right was a high yellow bank of sand tufted with trees, on the left a swamp quivering with long reeds and tall bamboos on the top of which, swaying slightly, perched vivid green and yellow birds. The morning was hot and still. After breakfast they drew chairs together and sat in an irregular semicircle in the bow. An awning above their heads protected them from the heat of the sun, and the breeze which the boat made aired them softly. Mrs. Flushing was already dotting and striping her canvas, her head jerking this way and that with the action of a bird nervously picking up grain; the others had books or pieces of paper or embroidery on their knees, at which they looked fitfully and again looked at the river ahead.", "In 1652, when it seemed that things had settled down unhappily enough, \"all being entirely in the rebels' hands\", Evelyn returned to England with his wife, his Tables of Veins and Arteries, his Venetian glass and the rest of his curiosities, to lead the life of a country gentleman of strong Royalist sympathies at Deptford. What with going to church and going to town, settling his accounts and planting his garden\u2014\"I planted the orchard at Sayes Court; new moon, wind west\"\u2014his time was spent much as ours is. But there was one difference which it is difficult to illustrate by a single quotation, because the evidence is scattered all about in little insignificant phrases. The general effect of them is that he used his eyes. The visible world was always close to him.", "While the storm continued, no one seemed inclined to sit down, but they collected in little groups under the central skylight, where they stood in a yellow atmosphere, looking upwards. Now and again their faces became white, as the lightning flashed, and finally a terrific crash came, making the panes of the skylight lift at the joints.", "The great fame of the book has done its author some injustice; for while it has given him a kind of anonymous glory it has obscured the fact that he was a writer of other works which, it is safe to assert, were not read aloud to us as children. Thus when the Editor of the Christian World in the year 1870 appealed to \"the boys and girls of England\" to erect a monument upon the grave of Defoe, which a stroke of lightning had mutilated, the marble was inscribed to the memory of the author of Robinson Crusoe. No mention was made of Moll Flanders. Considering the topics which are dealt with in that book, and in Roxana, Captain Singleton, Colonel Jack and the rest, we need not be surprised, though we may be indignant, at the omission. We may agree with Mr. Wright, the biographer of Defoe, that these \"are not works for the drawing-room table\".", "\u201cI was educated at Winchester and Cambridge, which I had to leave after a time. I have done a good many things since\u2014\u201d", "The game was really a good one, and Mr. Pepper and Mr. Elliot were becoming more and more set upon the struggle. Mrs. Thornbury, seeing that St. John did not wish to talk, resumed her knitting.", "\u201cAh, so you found the way after all. But it\u2019s late\u2014much later than we arranged, Hewet.\u201d", "\u201cAnd now you\u2019ve spoilt it,\u201d she complained. \u201cNow we\u2019ve got to think of the horrors.\u201d She looked grudgingly at the novel which had once caused her perhaps an hour\u2019s discomfort, so that she had never opened it again, but kept it on her table, and looked at it occasionally, as some medieval monk kept a skull, or a crucifix to remind him of the frailty of the body.", "At a little distance from Miss Allan, on a seat shaded and made semi-private by a thick clump of palm trees, Arthur and Susan were reading each other\u2019s letters. The big slashing manuscripts of hockey-playing young women in Wiltshire lay on Arthur\u2019s knee, while Susan deciphered tight little legal hands which rarely filled more than a page, and always conveyed the same impression of jocular and breezy goodwill.", "Richard twisted a muffler twice round his throat and struggled up on deck. His body, which had grown white and tender in a dark room, tingled all over in the fresh air. He felt himself a man undoubtedly in the prime of life. Pride glowed in his eye as he let the wind buffet him and stood firm. With his head slightly lowered he sheered round corners, strode uphill, and met the blast.", "\u201cThank you, Hughling\u2019s better,\u201d she replied, in answer to Mrs. Thornbury\u2019s enquiry, \u201cbut he\u2019s not an easy patient. He wants to know what his temperature is, and if I tell him he gets anxious, and if I don\u2019t tell him he suspects. You know what men are when they\u2019re ill! And of course there are none of the proper appliances, and, though he seems very willing and anxious to help\u201d (here she lowered her voice mysteriously), \u201cone can\u2019t feel that Dr. Rodriguez is the same as a proper doctor. If you would come and see him, Mr. Hewet,\u201d she added, \u201cI know it would cheer him up\u2014lying there in bed all day\u2014and the flies\u2014But I must go and find Angelo\u2014the food here\u2014of course, with an invalid, one wants things particularly nice.\u201d And she hurried past them in search of the head waiter.", "It was Mrs. Hilbery, looking for the door. For how late it was getting! And, she murmured, as the night grew later, as people went, one found old friends; quiet nooks and corners; and the loveliest views. Did they know, she asked, that they were surrounded by an enchanted garden? Lights and trees and wonderful gleaming lakes and the sky.", "\u201cMiss Vinrace has promised to lunch with me,\u201d said Mrs. Flushing, and began to pound energetically up the staircase, as though the middle classes of England were in pursuit. She did not stop until she had slammed her bedroom door behind them.", "\u201cA girl is more lonely than a boy. No one cares in the least what she does. Nothing\u2019s expected of her. Unless one\u2019s very pretty people don\u2019t listen to what you say. .", "For now Margaret could apply herself uninterruptedly to her writing. She could devise fashions for herself and her servants. She could scribble more and more furiously with fingers that became less and less able to form legible letters. She could even achieve the miracle of getting her plays acted in London and her philosophies humbly perused by men of learning. There they stand, in the British Museum, volume after volume, swarming with a diffused, uneasy, contorted vitality.", "In his temperate and reasonable way Addison more than once amused himself with speculations as to the fate of his writings. He had a just idea of their nature and value. \"I have new-pointed all the batteries of ridicule\", he wrote. Yet, because so many of his darts had been directed against ephemeral follies, \"absurd fashions, ridiculous customs, and affected forms of speech\", the time would come, in a hundred years, perhaps, when his essays, he thought, would be \"like so many pieces of old plate, where the weight will be regarded, but the fashion lost\". Two hundred years have passed; the plate is worn smooth; the pattern almost rubbed out; but the metal is pure silver.", "Such being her disposition it went hard with her to analyse the sparrow's crop, for the sparrow she felt, symbolises something of the homely virtue of English domestic life, and to proclaim it stuffed with deceit was disloyal to much that she, and her fathers before her, held dear. Sure enough the clergy\u2014the Rev. J. E. Walker\u2014denounced her for her brutality; \"God Save the Sparrow!\" exclaimed the Animal's Friend; and Miss Carrington, of the Humanitarian League, replied in a leaflet described by Miss Ormerod as \"spirity, discourteous, and inaccurate.\"", "\u201cI suppose you\u2019ll marry one of them,\u201d she said, and then turned the handle and shut the door behind her. She walked slowly down the passage, running her hand along the wall beside her. She did not think which way she was going, and therefore walked down a passage which only led to a window and a balcony. She looked down at the kitchen premises, the wrong side of the hotel life, which was cut off from the right side by a maze of small bushes. The ground was bare, old tins were scattered about, and the bushes wore towels and aprons upon their heads to dry.", "\u201cAh,\u201d said Rezia, trying to remember. She thought Mrs. Filmer had said that he travelled for some company. \u201cJust now he is in Hull,\u201d she said.", "\u201cSo you\u2019re going, Rachel?\u201d Helen asked. \u201cYou won\u2019t stay with me?\u201d", "\u201cOh, how I envy you!\u201d Clarissa addressed Rachel for the first time. \u201cD\u2019you remember this? Isn\u2019t it divine?\u201d She played a bar or two with ringed fingers upon the page.", "\"Oh, that cow!\" she broke off nervously, as though the great wooden cow in the meadow had shocked her and saved her from some indiscretion. Then she shuddered, and then she made the awkward angular movement that I had seen before, as if, after the spasm, some spot between the shoulders burnt or itched. Then again she looked the most unhappy woman in the world, and I once more reproached her, though not with the same conviction, for if there were a reason, and if I knew the reason, the stigma was removed from life.", "The next movement was on his part. A very long time seemed to have passed. He took out his watch.", "\u201cD\u2019you realise what you\u2019re doing?\u201d she demanded. \u201cShe\u2019s young, you\u2019re both young; and marriage\u2014\u201d Here she ceased. They begged her, however, to continue, with such earnestness in their voices, as if they only craved advice, that she was led to add:", "Clarissa was really shocked. This a Christian\u2014this woman! This woman had taken her daughter from her! She in touch with invisible presences! Heavy, ugly, commonplace, without kindness or grace, she know the meaning of life!", "\"It must have been written by a woman,\" one of us urged. But no. She told us that it was written by a young man, one of the most famous poets of the day. I leave you to imagine what the shock of the discovery was. Though we all cried and begged her to read no more, she persisted and read us extracts from the Lives of the Lord Chancellors.", "So the diners out stepped forward with long slips of paper containing answers to their questions. These had been framed after much consideration. A good man, we had agreed, must at any rate be honest, passionate, and unworldly. But whether or not a particular man possessed those qualities could only be discovered by asking questions, often beginning at a remote distance from the centre. Is Kensington a nice place to live in?", "\u201cHow heavenly it is to see you again!\u201d she exclaimed. He had his knife out. That\u2019s so like him, she thought.", "She had had to buy the roses, Rezia said, from a poor man in the street. But they were almost dead already, she said, arranging the roses.", "During this speech Susan came into the group, and sat down by Helen\u2019s side. A few minutes later Mr. Venning strolled up from the opposite direction. He was a little flushed, and in the mood to answer hilariously whatever was said to him.", "Indeed, Clarissa felt, the Prime Minister had been good to come. And, walking down the room with him, with Sally there and Peter there and Richard very pleased, with all those people rather inclined, perhaps, to envy, she had felt that intoxication of the moment, that dilatation of the nerves of the heart itself till it seemed to quiver, steeped, upright;\u2014yes, but after all it was what other people felt, that; for, though she loved it and felt it tingle and sting, still these semblances, these triumphs (dear old Peter, for example, thinking her so brilliant), had a hollowness; at arm\u2019s length they were, not in the heart; and it might be that she was growing old but they satisfied her no longer as they used; and suddenly, as she saw the Prime Minister go down the stairs, the gilt rim of the Sir Joshua picture of the little girl with a muff brought back Kilman with a rush; Kilman her enemy. That was satisfying; that was real. Ah, how she hated her\u2014hot, hypocritical, corrupt; with all that power; Elizabeth\u2019s seducer; the woman who had crept in to steal and defile (Richard would say, What nonsense!). She hated her: she loved her.", "Mr. Flushing treated his wife with a mixture of admiration and indulgence, making up by the suavity and fluency of his speech for the abruptness of hers. While she darted and ejaculated he gave Rachel a sketch of the history of South American art. He would deal with one of his wife\u2019s exclamations, and then return as smoothly as ever to his theme. He knew very well how to make a luncheon pass agreeably, without being dull or intimate. He had formed the opinion, so he told Rachel, that wonderful treasures lay hid in the depths of the land; the things Rachel had seen were merely trifles picked up in the course of one short journey.", "\u201cWell, and what\u2019s happened to you?\u201d she said. So before a battle begins, the horses paw the ground; toss their heads; the light shines on their flanks; their necks curve. So Peter Walsh and Clarissa, sitting side by side on the blue sofa, challenged each other. His powers chafed and tossed in him. He assembled from different quarters all sorts of things; praise; his career at Oxford; his marriage, which she knew nothing whatever about; how he had loved; and altogether done his job.", "There was still an hour to luncheon, and with Gibbon in one hand, and Balzac in the other she strolled out of the gate and down the little path of beaten mud between the olive trees on the slope of the hill. It was too hot for climbing hills, but along the valley there were trees and a grass path running by the river bed. In this land where the population was centred in the towns it was possible to lose sight of civilisation in a very short time, passing only an occasional farmhouse, where the women were handling red roots in the courtyard; or a little boy lying on his elbows on the hillside surrounded by a flock of black strong-smelling goats. Save for a thread of water at the bottom, the river was merely a deep channel of dry yellow stones. On the bank grew those trees which Helen had said it was worth the voyage out merely to see.", "\u201cDo you really believe there\u2019s life in Mars?\u201d asked Mrs. Flushing, turning to her for the first time with keen interest. \u201cWho tells you that? Some one who knows? D\u2019you know a man called\u2014?\u201d", "\u201cYes,\u201d he said. \u201cI\u2019m not first-rate, of course; I\u2019m good second-rate; about as good as Thackeray, I should say.\u201d", "After a pause Hirst remarked that the worst infamy had still to be told. He addressed himself to Helen.", "She did not much like parties, Elizabeth said. Miss Kilman opened her mouth, slightly projected her chin, and swallowed down the last inches of the chocolate \u00e9clair, then wiped her fingers, and washed the tea round in her cup.", "Meanwhile Hirst took out an envelope and began scribbling on the back of it. When Mr. Bax mounted the pulpit he shut up Sappho with his envelope between the pages, settled his spectacles, and fixed his gaze intently upon the clergyman. Standing in the pulpit he looked very large and fat; the light coming through the greenish unstained window-glass made his face appear smooth and white like a very large egg.", "\u201cOh, I\u2019m entirely with you there,\u201d said Dalloway. \u201cNobody can condemn the utter folly and futility of such behaviour more than I do; and as for the whole agitation, well! may I be in my grave before a woman has the right to vote in England! That\u2019s all I say.\u201d", "\u201cIt\u2019s high time that horses should become extinct anyhow,\u201d said Hirst. \u201cThey\u2019re distressingly ugly, besides being vicious.\u201d", "It was as though a blue shadow had fallen across a pool. Their eyes became deeper, and their voices more cordial. Instead of joining them as they began to pace the deck, Rachel was indignant with the prosperous matrons, who made her feel outside their world and motherless, and turning back, she left them abruptly. She slammed the door of her room, and pulled out her music. It was all old music\u2014Bach and Beethoven, Mozart and Purcell\u2014the pages yellow, the engraving rough to the finger.", "\"No, no, no,\" she said, shaking her head. \"If you'd been a chaste woman yourself you would have screamed at the sight of me\u2014instead of which you rushed across the room and took me in your arms. No, Cassandra. We are neither of us chaste.\" So we went on talking.", "She had once thrown a shilling into the Serpentine, never anything more. But he had flung it away. They went on living (she would have to go back; the rooms were still crowded; people kept on coming). They (all day she had been thinking of Bourton, of Peter, of Sally), they would grow old. A thing there was that mattered; a thing, wreathed about with chatter, defaced, obscured in her own life, let drop every day in corruption, lies, chatter.", "The little gush of vitality which had come into Evelyn as she ran downstairs had left her, and she felt herself impotent. There was nothing for her to say; she felt nothing. Now that he was actually asking her, in his elderly gentle words, to marry him, she felt less for him than she had ever felt before.", "\u201cI don\u2019t satisfy you in the way you satisfy me,\u201d he continued. \u201cThere\u2019s something I can\u2019t get hold of in you. You don\u2019t want me as I want you\u2014you\u2019re always wanting something else.\u201d", "An imperceptible signal passed between husband and wife, meaning that they grasped the situation and would stand by each other loyally. With scarcely a pause Mrs. Dalloway turned to Willoughby and began:", "Lady Bruton stood by Miss Parry\u2019s chair, a spectral grenadier, draped in black, inviting Peter Walsh to lunch; cordial; but without small talk, remembering nothing whatever about the flora or fauna of India. She had been there, of course; had stayed with three Viceroys; thought some of the Indian civilians uncommonly fine fellows; but what a tragedy it was\u2014the state of India! The Prime Minister had just been telling her (old Miss Parry huddled up in her shawl, did not care what the Prime Minister had just been telling her), and Lady Bruton would like to have Peter Walsh\u2019s opinion, he being fresh from the centre, and she would get Sir Sampson to meet him, for really it prevented her from sleeping at night, the folly of it, the wickedness she might say, being a soldier\u2019s daughter. She was an old woman now, not good for much. But her house, her servants, her good friend Milly Brush\u2014did he remember her?\u2014were all there only asking to be used if\u2014if they could be of help, in short.", "\u201cFor goodness\u2019 sake, Hirst,\u201d Hewet protested; \u201cone might think you were an old cripple of eighty. If it comes to that, I had an aunt who died of cancer myself, but I put a bold face on it\u2014\u201d He rose and began tilting his chair backwards and forwards on its hind legs. \u201cIs any one here inclined for a walk?\u201d he said. \u201cThere\u2019s a magnificent walk, up behind the house. You come out on to a cliff and look right down into the sea.", "\u201cIf one can give men a room to themselves where they will sit, it\u2019s all to the good. Arm-chairs are the important things\u2014\u201d She began wheeling them about. \u201cNow, does it still look like a bar at a railway station?\u201d", "Let us take Persuasion, the last completed novel, and look by its light at the books she might have written had she lived. There is a peculiar beauty and a peculiar dullness in Persuasion. The dullness is that which so often marks the transition stage between two different periods. The writer is a little bored. She has grown too familiar with the ways of her world; she no longer notes them freshly.", "The matter being settled, they were once more put on shore: the sailors, producing raisins and tobacco, leant upon the rail and watched the six English, whose coats and dresses looked so strange upon the green, wander off. A joke that was by no means proper set them all laughing, and then they turned round and lay at their ease upon the deck.", "They would talk of such questions among books, or out in the sun, or sitting in the shade of a tree undisturbed. They were no longer embarrassed, or half-choked with meaning which could not express itself; they were not afraid of each other, or, like travellers down a twisting river, dazzled with sudden beauties when the corner is turned; the unexpected happened, but even the ordinary was lovable, and in many ways preferable to the ecstatic and mysterious, for it was refreshingly solid, and called out effort, and effort under such circumstances was not effort but delight.", "Left alone, Evelyn walked up and down the path. What did matter then? What was the meaning of it all?", "His eyes were dazed, his hands very cold, and his brain excited and yet half asleep. Inside the door everything was as he had left it except that the hall was now empty. There were the chairs turning in towards each other where people had sat talking, and the empty glasses on little tables, and the newspapers scattered on the floor. As he shut the door he felt as if he were enclosed in a square box, and instantly shrivelled up. It was all very bright and very small.", "\u201cAll one\u2019s faculties have their play,\u201d said Richard. \u201cI may be treading on dangerous ground; but what I feel about poets and artists in general is this: on your own lines, you can\u2019t be beaten\u2014granted; but off your own lines\u2014puff\u2014one has to make allowances. Now, I shouldn\u2019t like to think that any one had to make allowances for me.\u201d", "\u201cGood Lord, what opportunities there are now for young men!\u201d said Dalloway, for his talk had set him thinking. \u201cI don\u2019t suppose there\u2019s been so good an opening since the days of Pitt.\u201d", "\u201cAnd in that I quite agree with her,\u201d said a voice behind; Mrs. Thornbury had overheard the last few words about not liking ginger. \u201cIt\u2019s associated in my mind with a horrid old aunt of ours (poor thing, she suffered dreadfully, so it isn\u2019t fair to call her horrid) who used to give it to us when we were small, and we never had the courage to tell her we didn\u2019t like it. We just had to put it out in the shrubbery\u2014she had a big house near Bath.\u201d", "The skirt was fastened. She looked at herself in the glass with the curious stiffening of her face generally caused by looking in the glass.", "It was all too painful, and the guillotine, she felt, loomed ahead. That catastrophe she was spared, for who could wish to cut off the head of a pigeon with a whistle attached to its tail? But if the whole bird-cage had been overturned and the aerial orchestra sent screaming and fluttering through the air, we can be sure, as Mr. Joseph Chamberlain told her, that her conduct would have been \"a credit to the British aristocracy\".", "\u201cOne can be very nice without having read a book,\u201d she asserted. Very silly and simple her words sounded, and laid her open to derision.", "Oh, he did, she cried. But he did not mean it, she said. Of course not. It was merely a question of rest, said Sir William; of rest, rest, rest; a long rest in bed. There was a delightful home down in the country where her husband would be perfectly looked after.", "But will one crocus be enough, and must it not be a very brilliant yellow to shine so far, to cost so much, and to have one's name attached to it? The Press is undoubtedly a great multiplier of crocuses. But if we look at some of these plants, we shall find that they are only very distantly related to the original little yellow or purple flower which pokes up through the grass in Kensington Gardens about this time of year. The newspaper crocus is amazing but still a very different plant. It fills precisely the space allotted to it.", "\u201cWhat are you laughing at?\u201d she asked him. For Willie Titcomb and Sir Harry and Herbert Ainsty were all laughing. But no. Sir Harry could not tell Clarissa Dalloway (much though he liked her; of her type he thought her perfect, and threatened to paint her) his stories of the music hall stage. He chaffed her about her party.", "\u201cThat\u2019s for Miss Vinrace,\u201d said Clarissa. \u201cShe can\u2019t bear our beloved Jane.\u201d", "Clarissa opened one eye. It gave her an incredibly dissipated appearance. \u201cAwful!\u201d she gasped. Her lips were white inside.", "He was slightly annoyed, and in his capacity as leader of the expedition, inclined to be dictatorial. He spoke quickly, using curiously sharp, meaningless words.", "It was so hot that they scarcely moved, except now to change a foot, or, again, to strike a match. Their eyes, concentrated upon the bank, were full of the same green reflections, and their lips were slightly pressed together as though the sights they were passing gave rise to thoughts, save that Hirst\u2019s lips moved intermittently as half consciously he sought rhymes for God. Whatever the thoughts of the others, no one said anything for a considerable space. They had grown so accustomed to the wall of trees on either side that they looked up with a start when the light suddenly widened out and the trees came to an end.", "\u201cHow are you, dear,\u201d said Mr. Ambrose, inclining his forehead to be kissed. His niece instinctively liked his thin angular body, and the big head with its sweeping features, and the acute, innocent eyes.", "They all smiled. Peter Walsh! And Mr. Dalloway was genuinely glad, Milly Brush thought; and Mr. Whitbread thought only of his chicken.", "\u201cClarissa!\u201d That voice! It was Sally Seton! Sally Seton! after all these years! She loomed through a mist.", "I understand Nature's game\u2014her prompting to take action as a way of ending any thought that threatens to excite or to pain. Hence, I suppose, comes our slight contempt for men of action\u2014men, we assume, who don't think. Still, there's no harm in putting a full stop to one's disagreeable thoughts by looking at a mark on the wall.", "After all, then, we are back at the beginning, vacillating from extreme to extreme, at one moment enthusiastic, at the next pessimistic, unable to come to any conclusion about our contemporaries. We have asked the critics to help us, but they have deprecated the task. Now, then, is the time to accept their advice and correct these extremes by consulting the masterpieces of the past. We feel ourselves indeed driven to them, impelled not by calm judgement but by some imperious need to anchor our instability upon their security. But, honestly, the shock of the comparison between past and present is at first disconcerting.", "\u201cWe love each other,\u201d Terence repeated, searching into her face. Their faces were both very pale and quiet, and they said nothing. He was afraid to kiss her again. By degrees she drew close to him, and rested against him. In this position they sat for some time.", "\u201cI\u2019ve cared for heaps of people, but not to marry them,\u201d she said. \u201cI suppose I\u2019m too fastidious. All my life I\u2019ve wanted somebody I could look up to, somebody great and big and splendid. Most men are so small.\u201d", "For her father had been looking at her, as he stood talking to the Bradshaws, and he had thought to himself, Who is that lovely girl? And suddenly he realised that it was his Elizabeth, and he had not recognised her, she looked so lovely in her pink frock! Elizabeth had felt him looking at her as she talked to Willie Titcomb. So she went to him and they stood together, now that the party was almost over, looking at the people going, and the rooms getting emptier and emptier, with things scattered on the floor. Even Ellie Henderson was going, nearly last of all, though no one had spoken to her, but she had wanted to see everything, to tell Edith.", "He looked curiously at his own hand on the banisters. The stairs were very steep, and it seemed to take him a long time to surmount them. Instead of feeling keenly, as he knew that he ought to feel, he felt nothing at all. When he opened the door he saw Helen sitting by the bedside. There were shaded lights on the table, and the room, though it seemed to be full of a great many things, was very tidy.", "\u201cThe odd thing is that I don\u2019t find you old at all,\u201d he replied. \u201cI feel as though we were exactly the same age. Moreover\u2014\u201d here he hesitated, but took courage from a glance at her face, \u201cI feel as if I could talk quite plainly to you as one does to a man\u2014about the relations between the sexes, about . . .", "\u201cTake it away! Give it to Mrs. Walker with my compliments! Take it away!\u201d she cried.", "Dr. Holmes came again. Large, fresh coloured, handsome, flicking his boots, looking in the glass, he brushed it all aside\u2014headaches, sleeplessness, fears, dreams\u2014nerve symptoms and nothing more, he said. If Dr. Holmes found himself even half a pound below eleven stone six, he asked his wife for another plate of porridge at breakfast. (Rezia would learn to cook porridge.) But, he continued, health is largely a matter in our own control.", "Rachel was swinging the bottle by the neck. She was interested by Miss Allan to the point of forgetting the bottle.", "\u201cGood Lord!\u201d Hewet exclaimed. \u201cI\u2019ve never been so much interested in my life.\u201d She then realised that while she had been thinking of Richmond, his eyes had never left her face. The knowledge of this excited her.", "Clarissa looked at Sir William, talking to Richard. He did not look like a boy\u2014not in the least like a boy. She had once gone with some one to ask his advice. He had been perfectly right; extremely sensible. But Heavens\u2014what a relief to get out to the street again!", "I have often thought of it as one of the most barbarous customs in the world, considering us as a civilised and a Christian country, that we deny the advantages of learning to women. We reproach the sex every day with folly and impertinence; which I am confident, had they the advantages of education equal to us, they would be guilty of less than ourselves.", "\u201cDear old fellow,\u201d said Arthur who, now that the first shock was over, was relaxing into an enormous sense of pleasure and contentment. \u201cWe must be very nice to him, Susan.\u201d", "\u201cWe shall see you at our party to-night?\u201d whereupon Lady Bruton resumed the magnificence which letter-writing had shattered. She might come; or she might not come. Clarissa had wonderful energy. Parties terrified Lady Bruton. But then, she was getting old.", "Clarissa always said that Lady Bruton did not like her. Indeed, Lady Bruton had the reputation of being more interested in politics than people; of talking like a man; of having had a finger in some notorious intrigue of the eighties, which was now beginning to be mentioned in memoirs. Certainly there was an alcove in her drawing-room, and a table in that alcove, and a photograph upon that table of General Sir Talbot Moore, now deceased, who had written there (one evening in the eighties) in Lady Bruton\u2019s presence, with her cognisance, perhaps advice, a telegram ordering the British troops to advance upon an historical occasion. (She kept the pen and told the story.) Thus, when she said in her offhand way \u201cHow\u2019s Clarissa?\u201d husbands had difficulty in persuading their wives and indeed, however devoted, were secretly doubtful themselves, of her interest in women who often got in their husbands\u2019 way, prevented them from accepting posts abroad, and had to be taken to the seaside in the middle of the session to recover from influenza.", "But inwardly there was a change. It seems at last as if the hard outer shell had served its purpose and something sensitive, appreciative, and pleasure-loving had formed within. At any rate Sir John, writing to his brother John at home, strayed sometimes from the business on hand to crack a joke, to send a piece of gossip, or to instruct him, knowingly and even subtly, upon the conduct of a love affair. Be \"as lowly to the mother as ye list, but to the maid not too lowly, nor that ye be too glad to speed, nor too sorry to fail. And I shall always be your herald both here, if she come hither, and at home, when I come home, which I hope hastily within XI.", "Happily the port was now brought in, the servants assembled; and Miss Ormerod, rising to her feet, gave the toast \"Her Blessed Majesty.\" She was extremely loyal, and moreover she liked nothing better than a glass of her father's old white port. She kept his pigtail, too, in a box.", "\u201cI hear there are dreadful accounts from England about the rats,\u201d she said. \u201cA sister-in-law, who lives at Norwich, tells me it has been quite unsafe to order poultry. The plague\u2014you see. It attacks the rats, and through them other creatures.\u201d", "\u201cWe\u2019ll do our best to make you comfortable. And Ridley. We think it an honour to have charge of him. Pepper\u2019ll have some one to contradict him\u2014which I daren\u2019t do. You find this child grown, don\u2019t you?", "\u201cQuite,\u201d said Terence with decision. \u201cIt\u2019s just got to run its course.\u201d Whereupon Ridley heaved a deep sigh. He was genuinely sorry for every one, but at the same time he missed Helen considerably, and was a little aggrieved by the constant presence of the two young men.", "\u201cOh, I\u2019ve done two or three little daubs,\u201d said Mrs. Elliot, speaking rather louder than usual. \u201cBut it\u2019s so difficult after Oxfordshire, where there are so many trees. The light\u2019s so strong here. Some people admire it, I know, but I find it very fatiguing.\u201d", "Lady Bruton herself preferred Richard Dalloway, who arrived at the next moment. Indeed they met on the doorstep.", "Miss Kilman took another cup of tea. Elizabeth, with her oriental bearing, her inscrutable mystery, sat perfectly upright; no, she did not want anything more. She looked for her gloves\u2014her white gloves. They were under the table. Ah, but she must not go!", "What could I have said to these people? 'Tis certain that this office of humanity would have brought them into trouble. . . .", "\u201cI\u2019m not like Hirst,\u201d said Hewet, after a pause; he spoke meditatively; \u201cI don\u2019t see circles of chalk between people\u2019s feet. I sometimes wish I did. It seems to me so tremendously complicated and confused. One can\u2019t come to any decision at all; one\u2019s less and less capable of making judgments. D\u2019you find that?", "It was borne through the kitchen. Over her shoulder Lucy reported how Miss Elizabeth looked quite lovely; she couldn\u2019t take her eyes off her; in her pink dress, wearing the necklace Mr. Dalloway had given her. Jenny must remember the dog, Miss Elizabeth\u2019s fox-terrier, which, since it bit, had to be shut up and might, Elizabeth thought, want something. Jenny must remember the dog. But Jenny was not going upstairs with all those people about.", "He beginneth not with obscure definitions, which must blur the margent with interpretations, and load the memory with doubtfulness: but he cometh to you with words set in delightful proportion, either accompanied with, or prepared for the well enchanting Skill of Music, and with a tale (forsooth) he cometh unto you, with a tale which holdeth children from play, and old men from the Chimney corner; and pretending no more, doth intend the winning of the mind from wickedness to virtue; even as the child is often brought to take most wholesome things by hiding them in such other as have a pleasant taste: which if one should begin to tell them the nature of the Alo\u00ebs or Rhubarbarum they should receive, would sooner take their physic at their ears than at their mouth, so is it in men (most of which are childish in the best things, till they be cradled in their graves) glad they will be to hear the tales of Hercules. . . .", "Nor, indeed, would we. For even if the pangs of outraged vanity, or the heat of moral wrath, urged us to improve away a world so full of spite, pettiness, and folly, the task is beyond our powers. People are like that\u2014the girl of fifteen knew it; the mature woman proves it. At this very moment some Lady Bertram finds it almost too trying to keep Pug from the flower beds; she sends Chapman to help Miss Fanny, a little late. The discrimination is so perfect, the satire so just that, consistent though it is, it almost escapes our notice.", "Nevertheless, they remained uncomfortably apart; drawn so close together, as she spoke, that there seemed no division between them, and the next moment separate and far away again. Feeling this painfully, she exclaimed, \u201cIt will be a fight.\u201d", "\u201cYou heard, Aunt Emma, that poor Miss Vinrace has died of the fever,\u201d Susan informed her gently. She could not speak of death loudly or even in her usual voice, so that Mrs. Paley did not catch a word. Arthur came to the rescue.", "\u201cOh, what fun!\u201d he cried. \u201cWhat am I sitting on? Is this your room? How jolly!\u201d \u201cThere\u2014sit there,\u201d she commanded. Cowper slid once more.", "That elusive quality is indeed often made up of very different parts, which it needs a peculiar genius to bring together. The wit of Jane Austen has for partner the perfection of her taste. Her fool is a fool, her snob is a snob, because he departs from the model of sanity and sense which she has in mind, and conveys to us unmistakably even while she makes us laugh. Never did any novelist make more use of an impeccable sense of human values. It is against the disc of an unerring heart, an unfailing good taste, an almost stern morality, that she shows up those deviations from kindness, truth, and sincerity which are among the most delightful things in English literature.", "He told her how hard Perrott\u2019s life had been, and how absurdly devoted he was to Arthur himself. He went on to tell her about his mother, a widow lady, of strong character. In return Susan sketched the portraits of her own family\u2014Edith in particular, her youngest sister, whom she loved better than any one else, \u201cexcept you, Arthur. . .", "\u201cIt does seem possible!\u201d he exclaimed, \u201cthough I\u2019ve always thought it the most unlikely thing in the world\u2014I shall be in love with you all my life, and our marriage will be the most exciting thing that\u2019s ever been done! We\u2019ll never have a moment\u2019s peace\u2014\u201d He caught her in his arms as she passed him, and they fought for mastery, imagining a rock, and the sea heaving beneath them. At last she was thrown to the floor, where she lay gasping, and crying for mercy.", "\u201cBut I must look so queer!\u201d she cried, running over to the glass and looking first this side then that. Then she snatched it off again, for there was a tap at the door. Could it be Sir William Bradshaw? Had he sent already?", "\u201cYou monster!\u201d Clarissa exclaimed. \u201cI can only just forgive you. Tell me why?\u201d", "\u201cTerence says we must go to tea with Mrs. Thornbury because she\u2019s been so kind, but I don\u2019t see it; in fact, I\u2019d rather have my right hand sawn in pieces\u2014just imagine! the eyes of all those women!\u201d", "No, no, nothing is proved, nothing is known. And if I were to get up at this very moment and ascertain that the mark on the wall is really\u2014what shall we say?\u2014the head of a gigantic old nail, driven in two hundred years ago, which has now, owing to the patient attrition of many generations of housemaids, revealed its head above the coat of paint, and is taking its first view of modern life in the sight of a white-walled fire-lit room, what should I gain?\u2014Knowledge? Matter for further speculation? I can think sitting still as well as standing up. And what is knowledge?", "They were very much afraid of her father. He was a great dim force in the house, by means of which they held on to the great world which is represented every morning in the Times. But the real life of the house was something quite different from this. It went on independently of Mr. Vinrace, and tended to hide itself from him. He was good-humoured towards them, but contemptuous.", "\u201cAh, poor thing,\u201d said Mrs. Thornbury, \u201cthat\u2019s a long story. She had gone through dreadful sorrows. At one time I think she would have lost her senses if it hadn\u2019t been for her garden. The soil was very much against her\u2014a blessing in disguise; she had to be up at dawn\u2014out in all weathers. And then there are creatures that eat roses.", "\u201cwhen you\u2019re my age you\u2019ll see that the world is crammed with delightful things. I think young people make such a mistake about that\u2014not letting themselves be happy. I sometimes think that happiness is the only thing that counts. I don\u2019t know you well enough to say, but I should guess you might be a little inclined to\u2014when one\u2019s young and attractive\u2014I\u2019m going to say it!\u2014everything\u2019s at one\u2019s feet.\u201d She glanced round as much as to say, \u201cnot only a few stuffy books and Bach.\u201d", "For the self-centred and self-limited writers have a power denied the more catholic and broad-minded. Their impressions are close packed and strongly stamped between their narrow walls. Nothing issues from their minds which has not been marked with their own impress. They learn little from other writers, and what they adopt they cannot assimilate. Both Hardy and Charlotte Bront\u00eb appear to have founded their styles upon a stiff and decorous journalism.", "\u201cIt shortens one\u2019s life; but I\u2019m afraid, Mrs. Ambrose, we politicians must make up our minds to that at the outset. We\u2019ve got to burn the candle at both ends, or\u2014\u201d", "\u201cI tell you what I want to do,\u201d she said. \u201cI want to go up there and see things for myself. It\u2019s silly stayin\u2019 here with a pack of old maids as though we were at the seaside in England. I want to go up the river and see the natives in their camps. It\u2019s only a matter of ten days under canvas.", "\u201cD\u2019you know,\u201d she said, \u201cI\u2019m extraordinarily sleepy. It\u2019s the sea air. I think I shall escape.\u201d", "London has swallowed up many millions of young men called Smith; thought nothing of fantastic Christian names like Septimus with which their parents have thought to distinguish them. Lodging off the Euston Road, there were experiences, again experiences, such as change a face in two years from a pink innocent oval to a face lean, contracted, hostile. But of all this what could the most observant of friends have said except what a gardener says when he opens the conservatory door in the morning and finds a new blossom on his plant:\u2014It has flowered; flowered from vanity, ambition, idealism, passion, loneliness, courage, laziness, the usual seeds, which all muddled up (in a room off the Euston Road), made him shy, and stammering, made him anxious to improve himself, made him fall in love with Miss Isabel Pole, lecturing in the Waterloo Road upon Shakespeare.", "There remains the greatest of all novelists\u2014for what else can we call the author of War and Peace? Shall we find Tolstoi, too, alien, difficult, a foreigner? Is there some oddity in his angle of vision which, at any rate until we have become disciples and so lost our bearings, keeps us at arm's length in suspicion and bewilderment? From his first words we can be sure of one thing at any rate\u2014here is a man who sees what we see, who proceeds, too, as we are accustomed to proceed, not from the inside outwards, but from the outside inwards. Here is a world in which the postman's knock is heard at eight o'clock, and people go to bed between ten and eleven.", "She did not move. \u201cTell me the truth, tell me the truth,\u201d he kept on saying. He felt as if his forehead would burst. She seemed contracted, petrified. She did not move."]}, "AMT": {"amt_h": ["The ability to provide services is often reliant on funding from outside sources and its continuation is based not on the needs of those being served, but on what they can find funding to provide. Often an organization's decision to cease operations in a country has more to do with a lack of financial support than the successful completion of their programming. There are certainly other issues with over reliance on NGO services, such as the fact that their services often don't solve the underlying infrastructure issues that will reemerge once the NGO presence is reduced. Many NGOs do not remain in-country for the post-conflict period. In effect, services are provided and once the initial emergency is over, the NGOs are gone and those still displaced must find a health provider somewhere else. ", "Nepal was embroiled in a bloody civil war from 1996 until 2006. Surprisingly, however, they are still on track to meet 16 of the 19 Millennium Development Goals by 2015. ", "It is important to note that regardless of the underlying targets, MHUs must not be viewed as permanent solutions, due to the limitations in numbers of services provided and high operating costs. In other words, MHUs are not viable stand-alone units that should be viewed as a part of the country's health infrastructure. MHUS are specifically to be used when there is no other option, and retired once the situation has stabilized. There are many other considerations which are important to be aware of when deciding how and when to use MHUs. Du Mortier and Coninx highlight a few of these.", "In Nepal, the NGOs tended to keep a low profile which might have helped in this case. Of course, the bigger issue is involvement by both sides of the conflict. The idea that both sides will choose not to interfere with healthcare provision is simply unrealistic in many areas of the world. ", "Most of these organizations were never allowed back into the Sudan, leaving much smaller NGOs to take over programming for health and education services, which they were not equipped for. Similarly, in 2009 Ethiopia suspended the operations of around 40 NGOs, (mostly smaller organizations) for operations \"outside of their mandate\". While these sorts of situations occur infrequently, it does point to one of the real issues with the reliance on NGOs in conflict situations. If the government does not support their mission, they can be kicked out, leaving vulnerable populations without access to basic health care.", "When collaboration with the government does not exist, NGOs can find it impossible to work. In March 2009, in response to President Omar Al-Bashir's indictment by the International Criminal Court, 13 major aid organizations were kicked out of the country, including Medecines Sans Frontiers, OXFAM, CARE, Save The Children, and the IRC. This expulsion left 1.5 million people without access to healthcare, according to the UN. ", "Treatment for patients in the acute stage is not a recommended primary strategy for MHUs, largely due to the fact that they are only intermittently available for any population to access. Obviously, MHUs will deal with acute illnesses in many cases, but this is not their strength and should not be viewed as a primary acute care tool in the planning stage. This focus on preventative care is an important takeaway, and its usefulness in preventing communicable disease through screenings and vaccinations is a clear asset of this model. ", "Du Mortier and Coninx are also very careful to state that MHUs should not be viewed as an evaluation tool. MHUs do not provide assessments as to the state of health in an area, but are a treatment intervention ONLY. As evidenced by Mortier and Coninx, MHUs are useful tools for providing some basic preventative and (barring any other options) acute health care when access is otherwise unavailable. It is important to reiterate that MHUs should be viewed as a last resort in providing medical services during conflict, not as a first option, which may often be the case when planning for interventions in conflict situations, due to their perceived flexibility.", "Devotka and van Teijlingen identify multiple reasons why Nepal was successful even during such trying times. Neither side purposely disrupted health systems during the conflict. Though the conflict led to a decrease in service utilization, due to access problems, the rebels overall looked favorably on health services and made no efforts to deny access to citizens during the fighting. The rebels made an effort to ensure health clinics in their area were still sufficiently staffed and supplied. Most clinics in rebel-held areas were sufficiently staffed and had supplies. ", "While utilizing the existing healthcare infrastructure as Nepal was able to do would be ideal, in genocides, such as in Rwanda or the Sudan, expecting both sides of the conflict to make efforts not to impede healthcare access is unrealistic. In addition, Nepal's situation was unlike many countries dealing with internal conflict and IDPs. ", "So what are the takeaways from the Nepal case study? ", "Programming for the elderly and indigent was increased, and many traditional female \"attendants\" saw their role increased. GDP in the country continued to rise during the extended conflict, and infrastructure improvements likely also contributed. These factors likely helped the country stay on track for the MDGs. ", "As stated by Du Mortier and Coninx:. Du Mortier and Coninx go on to say that in their experience, patients will likely refuse transport to a clinic due to fears about where they are going and their ability to return to their families, but the option to receive further treatment is important for the clinic to be viewed as a legitimate healthcare option.", "MHUs are often more successful for vertical programming. More specifically, MHUs are extremely good at screening and vaccinating for serious conditions that are slow to develop. ", "This support often is vertical and often doesn't take the full IDP situation into account. In fact, over 50% of African countries did not mention their IDPs in their HIV National Strategic Plans and Global Fund proposals indicating a lack of awareness of the need to build capacity for this portion of the population within their borders. ", "As an anecdotal example, the WHO cited one of the failings with the Kenya emergency response in 2007 to be that the emergency response plan was only 28% funded. In response to some of these issues, the World Bank has issued grants for a number of projects that include micro-financing for healthcare services in IDP situations. Generally these grants pay to rehabilitate the physical structures, often in conjunction with schools and other buildings that offer similar services. ", "However, these sorts of grants generally are post-conflict. Effective financing mechanisms during conflict to ensure access for the most vulnerable is largely done through grants and donations to NGOs or UN services where the country's health infrastructure is insufficient. In many conflict zones, NGOs \"pick up the slack\" in providing healthcare services to citizens and IDPs. ", "In Mueller's study, referrals to MSF in the Mindanao region of the Philippines were tracked, with 96% of those treated for emotional distress reporting a traumatic event, ( 54% home evacuation, 26% conflict, 5% destruction of property). The patients were tracked throughout brief psychotherapy sessions, and the results showed a marked improvement (via their scores on a self-reporting questionnaire). What are the implications of this study? ", "Firstly, increasing preventative care is of clear importance, as was also seen in the discussion of using MHUs in IDP situations. Vaccinations and screenings can do much to stop the spread of infectious diseases before a full-fledged outbreak of malaria occurs. In addition to preparation and disease monitoring, flexibility in these sorts of volatile, unpredictable situations is a clear priority. ", "In addition, the international organizations that responded by providing services kept a low profile. The one issue identified here, however, is the lack of clarity coming from the country level to all actors. While provisions were made for free care to poor citizens, criteria as to who qualified was not laid out to clinics. ", "One area that is of particular concern is that of providing reproductive health in IDP and refugee situations. Due to the ever-changing US government stance on the \"Mexico City Policy,\" also known as the \"Global Gag Rule,\" which is the refusal to fund organizations involved in any sort of abortion programming, reproductive health can be a difficult area for many NGOs reliant on USAID funding to work in. ", "Was this situation an aberration, or can health status continue to improve event during armed conflict within a country? Devkota and Teijlingen think that the lessons learned by analyzing Nepal's approach towards health systems during civil war can indeed be applied elsewhere, and for good reason. At the end of the day, the primary takeaway message is that of coordination, a common theme even in the most stable of countries when discussing health systems. Coordination among the Ministry of Health and community offices, passing off duties when appropriate. Coordination between the Ministry of Health and international agents, such as the UN or NGOs. ", "The sorts of special considerations in Afghanistan and the Sudan should not be viewed as insurmountable obstacles. In an ideal world (more Nepal than some of the other cases) conflict would not affect citizens' access to healthcare and qualified health workers. However, as seen, there are real consequences that can be expected when internal conflict erupts (geographic and financial barriers and the brain drain). The international community has certainly worked hard at establishing frameworks for working in these sorts of situations, but there is still work to be done in developing plans to mitigate the long-term effects of some of these issues. ", "This goes largely back to the issue of location. IDPs are often in inaccessible areas where governments don't have health programs and don't have the funds to initiate them. In addition, countries have a basic responsibility to care for refugees, based on the 1951 refugee convention but no such mandate exists for IDPs. ", "The infrastructure improvements (roads and electricity) likely improved access for many citizens. There are clear lessons for developing a health systems strengthening approach in other conflict situations here. ", "Du Mortier and Coninx stress in their document that MHUs should not be used to substitute Ministry of Health programming, but to supplement those services only in exceptional situations where access is restricted, as a last resort, if you will. They identify very specific targets that MHUs can be used to accomplish. Substitution: As described in the example above, where federal health programming is unable to reach citizens and IDPs, MHUs can be viewed as a temporary stopgap measure. ", "In this case, the organization is acting as a replacement of services for leaders. Support: In these cases, MHUs are used as a supplemental clinic to help officials meet their goals. This generally entails the establishment of common objectives between the government and the NGO which can realistically be supplemented in part by the use of MHUs.", "While they are unlikely to meet the reproductive health targets, some of the goals Nepal is on track to meet include under-five and maternal mortality targets and disease-specific goals (halting the spread of HIV and malaria). The question is, how was Nepal able to meet these targets even when dealing with civil conflict and internally displaced people?", "While many of the clinics were operated without trained health professionals, they still received regular training and supplies. Key actors increased coordination in response to the conflict, while maintaining a low profile. Regular meetings continued between the Ministry of Health (MOH) and community officials. ", "Mobilization: In these cases, services are provided without the direct input of government officials. Support is developed among third parties that can exert pressure on government officials to take over and provide services.", "The critical point is that the Ministry of Health must coordinate among those organizations. Much of the focus on healthcare provision during emergency and conflict situations revolves around the use of Mobile Health Units (MHUs). Mobile Health Units are, at their most basic, mobile service units that usually provide specific forms of both preventative and curative care. ", "Not only is the provision of mental healthcare during conflict situations feasible, but it is proven to be effective. The WHO has recommended incorporating mental health as one of the screening services offered by MHU, with referrals to trained mental health professionals as seen fit. It seems that adding mental health screening to MHU tasks has been shown in programming to be an effective tool for the future. Clearly, immediate conflict response focuses on morbidity and mortality, and rightly so. ", "As indicated by the mention of triage above, staff in MHUs must be highly trained. In addition, access to a nearby clinic for referral is critical. ", "The international community, however, has correctly identified mental health as an important and under-appreciated aspect of conflict response and is taking steps to ensure those aspects are addressed moving forward. In light of the many issues that make health service provision so difficult in IDP settings, it is useful to identify successes amid the confusion. In Understanding effects of armed conflict on health outcomes: the case of Nepal, Bhimsen Devkota and Edward R van Teijlingen find one such case. ", "MHUs are limited in the number of services they can provide and the frequency at which they are available to any one community. These considerations must be kept in mind when formulating a plan as to how to use MHUs in any conflict or emergency setting. Du Mortier and Coninx describe their use of MHUs with the International Committee of the Red Cross during the conflict in Columbia in 2005. In this case, the rebel forces refused to allow access to the Ministry of Health in the country to citizens in areas they held. ", "Namely, commitment from both sides of the conflict to not disrupting the health provision infrastructure in the country is key. Ensuring clinics still run and funds are in place can help to minimize the effects of access and migration. In addition, the government must be able to hand off some of the management to provincial or community levels, especially in rebel-held zones where they have limited access.", "Similarly, communication between the MOH and international organizations was not identified as a strength of the program. Public health and more traditional service providers also increased their efforts during the conflict. In addition, community clinics were handed over to the communities to manage, as the federal government did not have adequate resources to manage them during the conflict. ", "The effect of the continued growth of the national GDP cannot be understated, as the relationship between increased GDP and increased health indicators (such as the MDGs Nepal is on track to meet) is quite close. While internal conflict would certainly mitigate some of the expected improvements due to GDP, those increases, as well as the infrastructure investments, likely played an important role in helping health status continue to improve through the ten year war. There are some takeaways from Nepal and the other literature reviewed that can be applied to all conflict situations, however. ", "However, the conflict in Nepal had its own set of rules that likely don't exist in other areas. In Taliban-controlled Afghanistan, NGO workers are regularly held hostage or killed due to their perceived western ties. In many conflicts aid organizations are often viewed as a target. ", "In addition, According to N Hakamies, \"Although material and human resources are significant constraints on agencies, the main challenge is to tackle ideological, managerial and policy barriers, and those related to donor influence.\" Finding funding for family planning services continues to prove difficult for NGOs, and as a result they often do not exist or cannot meet the need levels of their constituencies. Reproductive Health funding problems underscore a larger issue with a reliance on NGO services, as can often be seen in IDP situations. ", "This affects a country's capacity to rebuild post-conflict as well as their ability to provide services while the rebuilding effort is underway. Another issue is the added levels of coordination that occur when working with multiple aid groups to ensure healthcare service coverage. NGO involvement in IDP aid is a fact of life, however. ", "In addition, the only aid group they allowed to enter the region was the ICRC. For these reasons, it was clear that they needed the mobility the MHUs afforded them to ensure basic services were offered to as many citizens in the occupied areas as possible. The point above is reiterated multiple times in Du Mortier and Coninx's article: the reason why MHUs were deemed acceptable in this case is because they were used as the only option. ", "They are generally expensive, however, and the fact that they only provide services intermittently tends to affect when they are appropriate for use. According to Stephane du Mortier and Rudi Coninx, \"In situations of armed conflict, the range of PHC services that can be provided is severely restricted. This means that, in any given situation, it is essential to select the priority services among the spectrum of PHC services\". ", "This is reliant on government cooperation and funding, whether via grants or private funding. In these frequent situations, coordination between agencies is of the utmost importance, as is earning the trust and commitment of country leadership. ", "The importance of providing mental health care, and screening for IDPs suffering from emotional issues is important for many reasons, one of which is the high rate of prevalence. While it may seem obvious, survivors of conflict situations often have very specific mental health needs. Medicines Sans Frontiers (MSF) has integrated mental healthcare into their emergency response module. Community level workers are \"trained to identify and refer cases of mental disorders and epilepsy to the MSF mobile health clinics where the mental health team provided proper diagnosis and treatment.\""], "amt_pp": ["Identity theft occurs anytime someone uses personally identifying information to open fraudulent accounts or commit crimes. As many as 9 million Americans have their identities stolen each year. Most victims know the person who stole their identity, after all, who else would know your mother\u2019s maiden name, city of birth, date of birth, and address? ", "The minute your identity is stolen, you can report it to the FTC, disable the accounts in question, and catch the identity thief. Most of the damage of identity theft is done over time. An identity thief might open an account this week, another account in a month, and then subscribe to a cell phone plan three months from now. ", "This objection is partially overruled as the newest edition of the Firefox browser makes prevalent a \"Do Not Track Me\" option said to be the response to this and other similar bills. FBI Wants to Expand Internet Wiretapping. The FBI, in an effort to keep up with the changing landscape of the Internet, is calling for a push to expand its capabilities in intercepting online evidence. Citing advances in \"webmail, social networking sites, and peer-to-peer services,\" the FBI\u2019s general counsel, Valerie Caproni, addressed Congress to discuss the increasing difficulty in tracing electronic communication in ongoing cases. ", "This is usually due to a programmer error, but these are often overlooked when many individual programmers work on a single piece of code. More novice hackers read the latest security reports from Microsoft and simply attack unpatched computers before the computers have a chance to install the updates. ", "By clicking on the Public Profile link on LinkedIn, you can change privacy settings that control what information is displayed on your profile to users who are not connected to you in any way on LinkedIn. It is best to make your public profile visible to everyone but only show your name, industry, location, number of recommendations, and headline. This will make it possible for people who are looking specifically for you to identify you and send you a connection request and will also limit the amount of information harvesting that can be done by people you do not know. ", "Readers can take immediate steps to protect online privacy and prevent government efforts to scour social networking sites for your personal details. MyID and Personal Information Privacy. With MyID monitoring your personal information privacy, you can be sure that none of your personal details will leak out across the Internet. MyID can help configure settings to maximize privacy on social networks and stop online ad tracking.", "Choose passwords that have uppercase and lowercase letters, symbols, and numbers. It is also good to have a different password for each of your financial accounts. This way, if an identity thief does gain access to one account, they will not be able to use the other one. ", "If potential employers acting in a business capacity were the only people who could see your resume, it would be fine to post your contact information on LinkedIn, and, on LinkedIn, you can protect your privacy through the use of the LinkedIn social network privacy settings. The Accounts & Settings section of LinkedIn allows you to choose how your information is displayed. ", "He knows enough to open accounts in your name, and he has the motive to hurt you. If you\u2019ve just broken up, you\u2019ll want to take extra care in checking your financial statements to ensure that he or she didn\u2019t make away with one of your credit cards. MyID Identity Theft Protection.", "Want to see how private you are on the Internet? Visit Panopticlick, at https://panopticlick.eff.org/, and see just how much information your browser reveals to the Web sites you visit. Each and every computer has a browser fingerprint based on one or more points of identifying information, from the exact version of the browser that you use, to the fonts you have installed, to the resolution of your screen. Web sites use these details to enhance your browsing experience, but if a Web site stores this information about you, it can be effective at tracking where individuals go on a site.", "Whether or not the FBI is having trouble catching criminals who conduct their illicit business over the Internet, the Internet Wiretapping laws need a complete overhaul to ensure privacy protection, not an expansion, which will further limit personal information privacy. A new survey reports that the average American is worried about personal information privacy. For good reason, too \u2013 newly declassified files detail massive FBI efforts at data-mining.", "MyID provides instant fraud notifications any time your identity is used to open a new account. Our patented \"Is This You?\" Verification service notifies you via text or e-mail any time a new credit card, bank account, or bill is taken out in your name. We sort through millions of incoming reports every day from credit card companies, utilities, and banks, filtering for patterns that might correspond to identity theft. ", "The MyID Theft Risk Score gives you actionable insight into the risk of you becoming a victim of identity theft. Your ID Theft Risk Score is a quick and easy way to gain insight into whether your personal information is at risk of misuse. Your ID Theft Risk Score uses patented technology to identify suspicious or unusual access to your identity. Our statistical formulas use hundreds of variables that affect your unique, individual risk of identity theft. ", "Identity thieves will even send emails claiming to be from a company that needs you personal information for financial purposes. Remember that no reputable company or business would ever contact you through email asking for this type of information.", "Here are some simple steps for protecting your personal reputation online. First, be sure to secure your accounts from unauthorized access. If your ex had any of your passwords, be sure to change them immediately (and don\u2019t give them away next time \u2013 your e-mail is none of their business). You should also set up Google News alerts for your own name, so that you know when you pop up in blogs and news stories. ", "It also discovered that members of a Pakistani terrorist group were working in Philadelphia as taxi drivers. And, when the United States government lost track of terror suspects during the Hurricane Katrina aftermath, the system was able to track down and find them across the entire southern half of the United States. Many, including the Electronic Frontier Foundation, believe that this kind of data-mining is the first step toward an Orwellian control over the population. The EFF cites a National Research Council paper that concluded \"data mining is a dangerous and ineffective way to identify potential terrorists, which will inevitably generate false positives that subject innocent citizens to invasive scrutiny by their government.\"", "Next, you should do some deep cleaning with tracking cookie removal. To Remove Tracking Cookies in Internet Explorer, Open Internet Options by clicking the Start button, clicking Control Panel, clicking Network and Internet, and then clicking Internet Options. Click the General tab, and then, under Browsing history, click Delete. ", "Use anti-virus and anti-spyware software. This is one of the most important things you can do to keep identity thieves from accessing personal information that is stored on your computer. Identity thieves use viruses and spyware to gain access to the passwords, files, and browsing history on your computer. ", "Make sure that items you do not wish to delete are unchecked and click Clear Now. To Remove Tracking Cookies in Google Chrome, click on the wrench icon on the browser toolbar. ", "Carl Caldwell, the president of Right-to-Know, released the following statement: \"FBI files can begin with records as simple as bankruptcy, Veteran Administration activities to income tax difficulties and passport and visa problems. More than 200 classifications like these are given to the files the FBI considers confidential, secret or top secret. ", "According to a survey by Javelin Research, as many as half of identity thefts can be attributed to someone that the victim knew. These are some potential identity thieves that you may know. Unemployed with rich lifestyles. ", "Smart-phone users collect apps, especially the free ones. But, as the adage goes, there\u2019s no such thing as a free lunch. ", "This sort of passive monitoring of your reputation should be in everyone\u2019s online reputation management toolbox. According to Radically Transparent: Monitoring and Managing Reputations Online, the reason that Facebook smears can be so damaging to an online reputation is that Facebook ranks highly in search engines. ", "Monitoring Your Financial Accounts with MyID Identity Theft Solution. MyID can monitor your financial accounts for financial identity theft and notify you if it believes you have been compromised. Protect against identity theft with instant fraud notifications. It\u2019s painful but true: most identity thieves are people that you know \u2013 neighbors, friends, relatives, or co-workers. ", "The FBI databases contain tens of thousands of records from car-rental companies, hotels, and national department stores. Such a system can correlate data from different sources to automatically identify terrorists. The system was used to locate a suspected Al Qaeda operative who was hiding in Houston. ", "With soapboxes like Facebook and personal blogs, a vengeful ex often has the motivation and opportunity to irrevocably damage your reputation. These days, first impressions are made online. According to author Michael Fertik, \"The first ten Google results on a search of your name are now your resume.\" Online reputation management can be difficult, but not impossible. ", "The black hat hackers are the criminal element, doing things that are illegal or immoral in order to make money or simply for vandalism. White hat hackers are often individuals hacking for the fun or the challenge with no intention to harm any of the computers they compromise. ", "These laws date back to a time when users fetched their mail from a single computer almost daily, so e-mail that had been on a server for six months was considered abandoned. In the age of webmail, users keep most of their emails forever. ", "The EFF is a non-profit with a stated goal to protect online privacy. The FBI hopes to add more sources of information to their database, including airline manifests from the Department of Homeland Security, the Postal Service\u2019s change of address database, the national Social Security number database, and 24 other unidentified databases whose names were redacted in the released report. Whether or not sacrificing personal information privacy is worth it to catch terrorists is up to the reader to decide. ", "Depending on how much personal information you post on your blog, you can choose to change privacy settings to a high level in order to protect your privacy. If you\u2019d like to make a particular post private so that only you or a bunch of people you choose can see it, all you need to do is head to the post editor and click on Visibility in the Publish pane. You can choose to make the post either password protected, in which case you\u2019ll need to supply a password, or private, which means only that you or other blog contributors will be able to see it. Click OK and that will be made effective immediately.", "Choose secure passwords. Online banking accounts and credit card accounts are very common, and it is important to choose secure passwords for these types of accounts. ", "Select Options, then the Under the Hood tab. Click Content Settings, then Cookies. To delete all cookies, select Remove All.", "Under Cookies, click Delete cookies, and then click Yes to confirm that you want to delete them. Click Close, and then click OK. To Remove Tracking Cookies in Firefox, click on the Tools menu and select Clear Recent History. ", "Even if you can\u2019t eliminate identity theft, you can get instant fraud notifications any time your identity is used without your knowledge. Prevent identity theft with MyID.", "According to the report, the big offenders are not the kind of underbelly-scale applications you might expect. Angry Birds and Pandora are two of the biggest offenders. ", "You should also sign up your own name as a domain name, ensuring that you have that address before your angry ex can register it. Domain names rank highly in search results.", "Many white-hat hackers end up working as security consultants for organizations such as these. The \"Do Not Track\" bill introduced in the House of Representatives would ban advertisers from tracking the behavior of users who opt-out of ad tracking for marketing purposes. ", "Building on this robust database of information, events and patterns surrounding your personal information privacy can lead to an increase or decrease in your ID Theft Risk Score. To check your ID Theft Risk Score, you are required to submit a Social Security number, Name, Address, Home Phone number, and Date of Birth. Additional details such as a Cell Phone number, E-mail address, and IP address can improve precision and add further insight into your risk level.", "MyID Identity Theft Monitoring and Identity Theft Protection software provides identity theft alerts any time your identity is used to open a new account. Instant fraud notifications like the \"Is This You?\"", "Infiltrating a computer system often requires the hacker to practice on similar machines for many hours. In many cases, the hacker will read through the actual programming code that the machine uses until something sticks out as wrong. ", "Track how your ID Theft Risk Score changes on a day-to-day and month-to-month basis with MyID identity theft monitoring. MyID Monitoring sends monthly reports with your current risk score, last month\u2019s risk score, a report of circumstances that increased or decreased your risk score for the month, and the ability to access your risk scores for the previous 36 months. The end of a relationship can be a high-strung time. ", "Even apps one might suppose were mindful of concerns about personal information on the Internet, like the CBS News app, routinely send location and identification details to undisclosed third parties. The best-in-breed of these apps include Facebook, YouTube, and ESPN ScoreCenter, which transmit no data to third parties and only send limited data to their parent company. The privacy settings of some apps, like the bi and gay social networking app Grindr, is appalling. Grindr sends age, gender, location, and identification information to various third parties for marketing purposes. ", "The vast majority of hackers are from China or Russia. These nations serve as a breeding ground for criminals of every kind, not just computer criminals. ", "An individual\u2019s attempts to retrieve this information are often thwarted by the complexity of the system itself.\" Caldwell continues, \"As the government gains access to more and more aspects of a private citizen\u2019s life in the name of preventing terrorism, more ordinary people will unknowingly become targets of investigation, and more files will be gathered on the innocent.\"", "identity verification ensures that you\u2019ll never be caught unaware by an identity thief. Identity thieves use a number of different ways to steal an individual\u2019s personal information, and many of them use the internet to get this information. With technology advancing at the speed it is, it is crucial to know how to protect your financial information online. Do not put personal information in e-mails. "], "amt_qq": ["UNITA would have to depend on its other regional ally, Zaire, for continued support against the MPLA. Sharing a large border and deep cultural ties that went back to the Kongo kingdom, Zaire and Angola were strongly connected. Throughout the liberation war, Zaire served as a base of operations for the Bakongo-dominated FNLA and provided it significant military assistance. Besides the solidarity showed to their Bakongo kin, Mobutu\u2019s Zaire had other important reasons for fighting the MPLA. ", "Without Cuban and Soviet backing, the MPLA would have never been able to defeat its opponents, who also had the support of foreign superpowers. The initial reasons for United States intervention in Angola were primarily economic. American oil companies were well established there since the discovery of oil in the 1950s, and in order to protect these interests, the US supported the Portuguese during the liberation war. By the time the Portugal was preparing to leave the continent in 1974, the threat of communist takeover by the MPLA with Cuban and Soviet support influenced the US to fund alternative groups to prevent a communist victory. ", "Becoming an assmilado meant showing a certain degree of educational attainment and financial security, in addition to adopting the Portuguese language and culture. The criteria for entry into the assimilado class were regulated by the Portuguese colonial authorities. ", "To do this, the old system of indirect rule through mesti\u00e7o and African allies had to be replaced by direct Portuguese control and white settlement. Though European settlement continued at a relatively slow pace through the late nineteenth and early twentieth centuries, restrictions were gradually made on which civil service and military positions Africans or mesti\u00e7os could occupy. ", "The past eight years have been relatively peaceful for Angola and the economy has been growing at a rapid rate, though much of this is due to oil revenues and expansion of the oil industry. A fledging democracy is forming.", "Savimbi\u2019s charisma and previous training in China helped him build an effective fighting force that challenged the MPLA for over twenty-five years. However, the fact that UNITA was built around Savimbi meant that after his death the movement disintegrated. Through the entire course of conflict in Angola from 1961 to 2002, foreign powers were involved in various degrees, from direct military assistance to monetary and diplomatic backing of one or more of the internal movements. ", "Though Africans continued to enter the assimilado class, the stringent restrictions on assimilation and the reluctance of many Africans to give up their African culture meant that less than 1% of Angola\u2019s population was ever formally assimilated. In the post-WWII period white immigration to Angola reached new highs as industrialization brought about massive rural unemployment in Portugal. ", "Chief among the regional powers involved in Angola were Zaire and South Africa. Both countries had strong motivations for their presence in Angola and importantly the means to affect the course of the war. The rise of Black Nationalism and the decolonization of many countries in the region posed a major threat to the survival of the apartheid r\u00e9gime of South Africa. Politically and economically based on a persistent system of racial oppression and exploitation, South Africa, as well as the other remaining settler colony, Rhodesia (now Zimbabwe), was under heavy international pressure to grant rights to its African majority and faced various boycotts and trade embargos as a result. ", "They further stated that an independent Angola under the MPLA would be dominated by urban mesti\u00e7os and assimilados, effectively transferring power from one class of colonial masters to another. ", "While the MPLA espoused multi-racial and cosmopolitan views, Mobutu was a black nationalist with strong ideals of African authenticity. Starting in 1975, Zaire sent several battalions of regular soldiers as well as commando units into Angola, after unsupported FNLA guerillas proved ineffective. Even with significant weapons provided by the US and other Western nations, the Zairians were decisively defeated by the MPLA and their Cuban allies. ", "According to a British diplomat serving in Angola in 1902, \"nobody regarded the contract laborers as anything other than slaves.\" Claims of racial tolerance aside, the Portuguese set up social, political, and economic hierarchies based on race throughout their reign over Angola. These distinctions and inequalities, as well as internal displacements of African tribes, created significant tensions between members of different ethnic and racial groups which would come to shape the formation of nationalist movements and the course of the post-colonial civil wars. ", "Counting urban mesti\u00e7os and assimilados, in addition to some liberal whites among its ranks, the MPLA was explicitly inclusive and set out to unite Angolans of different ethnic, religious, and regional backgrounds into one independence movement. Many of the founders had been members of the Communist Party of Angola (PCA) and a Marxist class-based ideology was adopted by the movement, partially as a uniting force for a group without a strong ethnic or regional base. ", "This economic power soon became political, and by the nineteenth century the Afro-Portuguese dominated the areas of the central highlands closer to the coast, presiding over several semi-autonomous kingdoms (reinos) centered on the coastal ports of Luanda and Benguela. These reinos were under the technical sovereignty of the Portuguese crown but were in practice ruled by the leading mesti\u00e7o families. Seeing themselves as ethnically distinct from the indigenous Africans, the Afro-Portuguese were nonetheless visually indistinguishable from black Africans and often spoke Kimbundu as well as Portuguese. ", "Further south in the central highlands, the primary commercial crop was cotton, and British and Portuguese cotton plantations displaced the native Ovimbundu. Unlike the Bakongo farmers of the north who largely stayed together and settled in Zaire, the Ovimbundu dispersed in all directions, some remained in the area to work the cotton fields, while others migrated north to work on the coffee plantations or south to less populated areas. The employment of Ovimbundu on land formerly occupied by Bakongo farmers created tensions between the two groups. ", "Despite this, the MPLA initially struggled to build popular support. Many Angolans were suspicious of the MPLA, which represented the old mesti\u00e7o and assimilado elite of the coastal cities and had a history of dominating the largely rural populations of the interior. Rival groups like the FNLA highlighted this distrust by publicly condemning the MPLA as out of touch with the peasants that made up 93% of the Angolan population. ", "Despite the official backing of the FNLA, many within the US establishment did not agree with the decision to support the FNLA. Two important US officials in Luanda, Robert W. Hultslander, the CIA station chief, and Tom Killoran, the American Consul General, agreed that the MPLA were the most qualified of the groups to govern and sought peaceful relations with Washington. Hultslander further stated that its leaders \"were more effective, better educated, better trained, and better motivated\"; by contrast the FNLA \"was led by corrupt, unprincipled men who represented the very worst of radical black African racism.\"", "This document essentially made former slaves into \"servants\" or servi\u00e7ais, who had to be \"contracted\" into labor. The Regulamento also stipulated that any Angolans who were not fully employed were considered \"vagrants\" and could be legally forced into five-year contracts. While slaves were no longer exportable commodities on the same scale they were before the abolition of the slave trade, slavery persisted in much the same way it had in the past centuries, despite the change in nomenclature. ", "Portuguese Angola and Mozambique were seen as potential solutions to South Africa\u2019s economic and security problems, and South Africa had worked with the Portuguese colonial government in the past. With both territories possessing large settler populations, friendly post-colonial r\u00e9gimes could be set up with South African military intervention, turning the former Portuguese colonies into buffer states and important allies in a hostile neighborhood. Furthermore, Angola\u2019s developed infrastructure and rich resource wealth could help South Africa economically, as it felt increasingly isolated by the international community. ", "The Afro-Portuguese were also challenged by a growing population of urbanized and mostly missionary-educated Africans. In an attempt to create a more defined social hierarchy, the Portuguese implemented as system of assimilation, drawing a distinction between ind\u00edgena (indigenous) and assimilado (assimilated) populations. ", "In Angola however, black Africans never made up less than 95% of the population, so the demographic situation there (and in the other Portuguese colonies) was never the same as it was in Brazil. Furthermore, the claim that racial mixing equates to racial egalitarianism is problematic, as there are significant racial inequities in Brazil and other countries with large mesti\u00e7o populations. The fact that the Portuguese were leaders in international trade of African slaves for nearly 400 years also challenges the theory. ", "However, at the root of the early failures of white settlement lied the Portuguese system of penal colonization. As with overseas colonization in general, the Portuguese were the first to begin and the last to stop the practice of using convicts as settlers in their colonies. The difficult nature of life in Africa made it difficult to find voluntary immigrants, so convicts, called degradados, were seen as an effective subsitute, as well as a solution to the problem of overcrowding in Portuguese prisons. ", "For the first few hundred years of Portuguese rule, the European population in Angola was minimal and largely limited to the coast. Though several attempts were made to found agricultural outposts with white settlers in the interior, these were largely failures. The oppressive tropical climate and hostile African neighbors made life difficult for settlers, many of whom lacked agricultural experience or expertise. ", "In the 1990s Zaire served as the main supporter of UNITA, as South African and American support for the organization dwindled. In 1997 a coup supported in part by the Angolan government overthrew Mobutu, and Zaire was renamed the Democratic Republic of the Congo. ", "During these visits the MPLA developed a relationship with the Soviets, securing funding and in 1961 the explicit support of Soviet Premier Nikita Khrushchev, who stated that \"the patriots of Angola can be sure that the sympathies of the peoples of the great Soviet Union are fully on their side.\" Many MPLA leaders would go on to be educated in Moscow. The USSR chose to support the MPLA over rival movements in Angola for a number of reasons. As a left-leaning Marxist movement that explicitly condemned the imperial powers, the MPLA followed the same basic ideological principles as the USSR. The UPA/FNLA was more ambiguous on this issue, receiving support from the US and sometimes practicing anti-communist rhetoric. ", "As both Cuba and South Africa agreed to leave Angola where they were both essentially fighting another country\u2019s war for them, US support for UNITA also decreased and under the Bush and Clinton administrations closer ties were made with the MPLA and it was recognized diplomatically as the legitimate government of Angola. With the Cold War over and its oil interests safe, the US had little reason to be actively supporting rebel movements in Angola. China was the third superpower to project its power in Angola. Chinese involvement was mostly limited to the first two decades of war and was rooted in its opposition to Soviet expansion coming out of the Sino-Soviet split. This anti-Sovietism held together the curious alliance of two African nationalist groups (the FNLA and UNITA), Zaire, apartheid South Africa, communist China, and the United States. ", "Assimilados were further divided into two groups, \"assimilated objects\" and \"assimilated groups,\" with the former mostly made up of the established Afro-Portuguese families who worked in various levels of the colonial government and the latter of the growing class of missionary-educated Africans.", "A Soviet friendly nation in southern Africa might tip the balance of power in favor of the communists and set off more leftist revolutions in the region. Since 1961, the US had been supporting Holden Roberto with a modest stipend of $10,000 a year. In the light of the new situation, this sum was increased to $300,000 in 1975, and throughout that year $35 million was spent on arming the FNLA through airbases in friendly Zaire. US involvement was relatively clandestine at this stage, mostly involving the CIA and indirect aid to the FNLA through Zaire. An American population weary from Vietnam was not willing to enter another bloody Third World conflict so far from home.", "Furthermore as they were largely employed in lowly paid plantation work, the Ovimbundu occupied the low end of the economic scale, being scorned by both the Bakongo and Mbundu as crude and subservient. The animosity displayed by the other ethnic groups toward the Ovimbundu caused many of them to reject the two dominant nationalist groups, the FNLA and MPLA, during the liberation war, in favor of UNITA, an explicitly Ovimbundu-based organization. The continued fragmentation of its nationalist movements set Angola apart from other Portuguese colonies. In Mozambique Julius Nyerere united the various factions under the banner of FRELIMO, and Am\u00edlcar Cabral convinced the assimilados of Cape Verde and the peasants of Guinea-Bissau to unite as PAIGC. ", "Still, the Afro-Portuguese \"seldom, if ever, identified with the Africans because for all practical purposes they were Portuguese in nearly every way except colour.\" Later in the late nineteenth and early twentieth century, some of the old Afro-Portuguese families began to merge with the other Kimbundu-speaking peoples of coastal and central Angola to form the modern Mbundu ethnic identity. The history of Afro-Portuguese dominance and compliance with the Portuguese colonial authorities created rifts between the coastal and inland peoples, which would continue to manifest themselves in the post-colonial conflicts, as the coastal and Mbundu-dominated MPLA struggled to win support among the Ovimbundu people of the interior. The relative dominance of the Afro-Portuguese began to be challenged in the late 1800s, as the Portuguese were increasingly pressured to \"modernize\" their colonies by their colonial neighbors, the British and Germans. ", "The influence of the mesti\u00e7os began with the slave trade, in which they often served as middlemen between the Portuguese traders and indigenous African kingdoms, leading and accompanying trade caravans into the interior. Though the slave trade was initially associated with the areas in and around the Kongo kingdom and its capital of S\u00e3o Salvador, Afro-Portuguese traders began to penetrate the central highlands to the south to find new sources of slaves. Luanda and later Benguela were established as ports to facilitate direct the new trade with Brazil and the other colonies. The decline of the Kongo due to a series of wars with the Portuguese in the seventeenth century, together with the stronger and more direct connections with colonial traders enjoyed by the Afro-Portuguese led to the eclipse of S\u00e3o Salvador by Luanda as the center of the Angolan slave trade, and by extension, economic activity in the region.", "As a highly lucrative business, it was often the primary occupation of most Portuguese in the area, including members of the colonial administration, with the governor essentially the largest slave-dealer. The Portuguese were leaders in the Atlantic slave trade, supplying not only their own plantation-dependent colonies with labor, but also those of France, Britain, and Spain. ", "Despite its ostensibly obvious contradictions, lusotropicalism was widely accepted among the people of Portugal until the mid-1970s, and was used by the government to justify its continued involvement in Africa during a period when most European powers were leaving or had already left the continent. These colonial policies of the twentieth century instigated the forty years of conflict in Angola. However, a long history of violence and exploitation created the context for these struggles, starting with the Atlantic slave trade in the late fifteenth century. ", "Having the largest and most powerful military of the region, South Africa had the means to accomplish its objectives. Military bases in South-West Africa (Namibia) served as a useful staging ground for intervention in Angola. In addition to its own motivations, South Africa was encouraged to intervene by the United States, who felt that they were needed to counter the Cuban and Soviet support of the MPLA. After invitations from both UNITA and the FNLA in the early days of the civil war, South Africa made its first incursion into Angola in June of 1975. ", "As the Afro-Portuguese were increasingly excluded from the higher levels of colonial administration, they had to compete with poor white immigrants for lower level jobs. Modern forms of transportation like the railroad and steamships began to dominate trade at the expense of the old mesti\u00e7o-controlled caravans, further undermining their economic activities. ", "Immigration to Africa was seen as both a solution to Portugal\u2019s excess population problem and as a way to strengthen Portuguese control over its colonies. With the white population in Angola increasing from 44,000 in 1940 to 325,000 in 1974, Europeans soon took over not only upper and mid-level positions, but also most low-wage jobs in the city, displacing most of the urban African population. Having lost much of their status to poor white settlers, mesti\u00e7o and assimilado populations felt increasingly marginalized by the Portuguese, and members of these groups would form the leadership of most of the independence movements in the 1950s and 60s. In addition to the social-cultural hierarchy imposed by the Portuguese, ethnic divisions were also intensified by other colonial policies.", "The Frente Nacional de Liberta\u00e7\u00e3o de Angola (National Front for the Liberation of Angola) grew out of the UPA (Union of Peoples of Angola, previously Union of Peoples of Northern Angola), a predominately Bakongo movement based in northern Angola and led by Holden Roberto. While the MPLA had its origins in Lisbon and Luanda, the UPA was founded in L\u00e9opoldville (modern Kinshasa) in neighboring Congo, also home to a large Bakongo population. In the late 1950s and 60s, L\u00e9opoldville was a center of nationalist activism, hosting a large refugee community from Angola and over fifty Angolan political organizations, mostly made up of Bakongos. ", "The underlying causes of the long conflict are many and complicated, having their roots in nearly five centuries of disruptive Portuguese rule in which millions of Angolans were enslaved or forced into labor and the population was divided into a racial hierarchy that led to distrust and resentment between groups. Constant internal factionalism and massive foreign intervention prolonged and intensified the conflict, leading to one of the most devastating wars on the African continent. ", "After Vasco de Gama secured a passage to India at the turn of the sixteenth century, Portugal lost interest in Kongo and other African kingdoms as major trading partners, and began to view them primarily as sources of slaves. The slave trade came to dominate Portuguese-African relations and nearly all economic activity in Angola. ", "In both of these situations, the rebel groups fought successful united campaigns against the Portuguese and were on the verge of victory at the time of independence. By contrast, no single nationalist movement in Angola was able to unite the various rebel factions in the struggle against Portugal for independence, and the three major groups that came to dominate the fourteen-year liberation war often fought each other as much as the Portuguese. The Movimento Popular de Liberta\u00e7\u00e3o de Angola (Popular Movement for the Liberation of Angola) was initially formed in the late 1950s by a young group of Angolans studying in Lisbon and Paris, including L\u00facio Lara, Agostinho Neto, M\u00e1rio de Andrade, and Jos\u00e9 Eduardo dos Santos (Neto\u2019s successor and the current president of Angola). ", "Unlike the ideologically based MPLA, the UPA and other Bakongo nationalist movements appealed directly to the Bakongo ethnic group and the heritage of the old Kongo kingdom. Though Holden Roberto had ambitions of making the UPA/FNLA a nation-wide movement with broad-based support, it remained for most of its history an organization dominated by Bakongos, and was responsible for numerous acts of violence against mesti\u00e7os, assimilados, whites, and non-Bakongo Africans, particularly the Ovimbundu who worked on the coffee plantations of the north. Its reputation for violence and the lack of discipline among its ranks led many to distrust the FNLA, and greatly decreased its effectiveness. Infighting plagued the organization throughout its history as well. ", "Lacking strong domestic backing, the MPLA looked abroad for military and economic support. Its leftist revolutionary agenda naturally aligned the MPLA with communist nations and the Soviet Union and Cuba became the movement\u2019s strongest allies, with the Soviets providing material aid, money, and weapons and the Cubans eventually sending soldiers to assist with security and military campaigns. ", "This new system created even more divisions in Angolan society by separating the population into groups, which actively competed with one another. The old Afro-Portuguese families, who often identified economically and culturally with the white settlers, saw their historical privileges taken away and became increasingly critical of the colonial government and at odds with white settlers. Mesti\u00e7os also felt threatened by the newly educated class of Africans, who were seen as usurping their traditional roles in the colonial hierarchy. This split within the assimilado group carried on through the civil war, with the MPLA leadership coming mostly from the older established group, and the leaders of FNLA and UNITA from the newer group. ", "The Mbundu and Bakongo ethnic groups dominated the MPLA and FNLA leadership, while the largest group, the Ovimbundu, had limited representation. Seeking to create a nationalist movement for his own people, Savimbi formed UNITA, basing his power among the Ovimbundu capital of Huambo. UNITA received aid from the US and South Africa for most of its existence and espoused an anti-communist agenda, though Savimbi had himself been a Marxist at one time. After being defeated right after independence UNITA retreated deep into the Angolan bush and built up an army of several thousand men with fanatically loyal officers. ", "Many of these farmers, mostly Kikongo-speaking members of the Bakongo ethnic group, fled to neighboring Zaire, where they flourished as small-scale commercial coffee farmers. As successful small entrepreneurs, many of the Bakongo diaspora in Zaire would be wary of the socialist policies of the MPLA, and would instead choose to support the ostensibly more business-friendly FNLA, which was also led by Bakongo and based in Zaire. After living in francophone Zaire for several generations, most of the Bakongo refugees adopted French, further dividing them from the mostly Portuguese-speaking groups in Angola.", "The MPLA was also not as focused on regional or ethnic issues, as the predominately Bakongo UPA based in northern Angola was. The USSR also practiced the policy of recognizing and supporting only one rebel movement within a conflict, a policy not shared by all of its peers. "]}, "Blog": {"blog_5_1": ["It's not as if broadcasters haven't tried. Oprah Winfrey's book club, and the handful of televised clubs that replaced it when she decided to abandon it last year, aimed to recreate the experience of belonging to a reading group. But people join reading groups for social reasons as much as for literary ones, and watching a bunch of strangers chatting about this month's selection doesn't really scratch that itch. ", "Joyce Goldstein of San Francisco flew to Miami with six pounds of fresh phyllo on her lap. The former owner of Square One and author of 19 books, she cooked all morning, making 300 \"tastes\" of bougatsa, a Greek phyllo pastry filled with cheese custard -- and sold five books. Soon she'll fly to Baltimore to attend a conference at the invitation of the Potato Board. She went to Copia in Napa to do \"This Is Not Your Mother's Seder.\"", "While the irrepressible Reifler considers a sum like that heroic compared with her previous paychecks, she acknowledges that the concept of living a midlist writers life like Morrissnice brownstone, regular contractsis looking ever more difficult to attain. It helps to have low expectations. ", "They're so different, one from the other, that I get to be not completely different, but I get to be a fuller person, because they bring out different parts of me. One thing they all have in common is that they're incredibly smart, and they're wonderful writers. ", "Patrick is her counterpart. James is Patrick's boss. Once introductions are made, stiff chitchat ensues. \"So I guess you're here to steal my business?\"", "In retrospect, Haddon realized it was that quality of empathy that he had been striving for in creating Christopher. Who would want to read a novel, let alone make a film, about a disabled kid living in Swindon, he asks, evincing a mixture of surprise and pleasure. ", "Everyone told her it would be hard, and she believed them. But somehow she never thought it would be this hard. There have been tearful, late-night telephone calls to her parents in Red Bluff, the small town in northern California where she grew up. ", "So many, in fact, that since the late nineties, half a million dollars is de rigueur for a first novelist whos perceived to have hot prospects. And the recession that has caused sales of all but a few books to flat-line hasnt slowed the run on mega-advances; if anything, the desperation to find the next Alice Sebold has only upped the ante. In the past two years, a steady stream of first-time authors have joined the club. ", "JJ: I am still in touch with four and intimately involved with three. And one would like to be, but I turned him down, Robert in the book. He gave me the title, we were talking about promiscuity or something, and he brought up that phrase. ", "They say that, with as many used-book stores as there are, many have closed in the last 20 years. They say that the Internet, while it has helped them move inventory to far-flung customers, has also driven off-the-street business, and even regulars. \"Why should anyone go to a bookstore when they can order a book from the comfort of their desk and get it in a day?\" asked Michael Thompson, who has owned Michael R. ", "Now theyre publishing a book. All any publisher has to do is push a button and get all the numbers from the big book chains. And those numbers, she adds darkly, will track you forever. Nelly Reifler is a typical young writer living in Brooklyn. ", "Costco is a phenomenon you have to visit to believe. This is impulse buying taken to a new level. ", "The marketplace has become a literary lottery, not just for the authors but for the publishing houses too. A modest advance, which used to signal the intention to invest in a long-term relationship, now indicates lack of commitment. As one senior editor at a major house says: The hardest thing to do is to buy a book for no money. The money is a function of enthusiasm. ", "Lamb fixes his guest -- usually a policy wonk or moldering presidential biographer -- with his stony gaze and peppers this individual with questions betraying a peculiar quantitative frame of mind: How long did the book take to write? How old are you? The rest of Book TV's programming consists of filmed lectures, readings and panel discussions, unedited and sluggishly videotaped. ", "If theres no enthusiasm, why bother? The book that really changed publishers minds about the commercial potential of literary fiction, and in particular the possibilities of first novels, was Charles Fraziers Cold Mountain. Published by Grove/Atlantic in 1997, this Civil War tale was a groundbreaking successa serious book that held its own on the Wal-Mart shelves, selling an incredible 1.5 million copies in hardback and following up with another 1.3 million in paperback. ", "But rarely have the realities of the marketplace changed so jarringly as they have over the past five years. While the major publishing conglomerates continue to cut back on midlist authors, theyre increasingly willing to lavish astronomical sums on unknowns. ", "They now not only sell their books, but also old original and hard-to-find prints and homemade greeting cards. The difference in Jim and Jeanne's taste and preference makes for a store with a variety of merchandise, from military and medicine books, to old Life magazines and newspapers, to old Louis Prang prints. ", "Looking for an obscure work of 18th century German philosophy? Try Angel City Bookstore in Santa Monica. Want to know how to decorate a set entirely in bed linen? Book City in Hollywood. ", "The longest he says he lasted at any one time in an office was five weeks. Not having a boss, he says, is one of the best things about being a writer. All he ever really wanted to do vocationally was to paint and write. He fell into writing and illustrating children's books because \"it seemed halfway there on both counts.\"", "One writer who wound up almost buried by a book-industry jackpot is Lori Lansens, an unpublished novelist from rural Chatham, Ontario, who four years ago found herself in the midtown Sheraton, the subject of a fierce bidding war among seven major New York houses. At that point, Lansens, now 40, thought she had already given up her career in the arts, having quit acting after fifteen years (the highlight: a scene opposite Al Pacino in Sea of Love that was later cut). ", "They're talking about their weekends, their kids, the weather. Tessa considers interrupting, but she can't bring herself to do it. She doesn't like disturbing people. ", "The euphoria didnt last long. It was a wonderful story, beautifully written, but they could hardly get the book reviewed, even with that advance, recalls Jody Hotchkiss, Lansenss New York film agent. The book came out, had a beautiful half-page ad in the New York Times Book Review, which is very expensive, but essentially disappeared. She couldnt get reviewed in the Times daily, which is still the Holy Grail. So now shes on contract for this second book, and shes due $250,000. ", "Because I thought the phone would ring, and everything would happen, and it did. The memory on my phone machine was full. My e-mail was unbelievable. When this book got sold, I'd wake up in the middle of the night and see this headline, 'Interesting Story, Poorly Told.' The reviews have been incredible. I don't care if the world knows about my sex life, but the first bad thing anybody says about my writing, I'm going to the mountains again. ", "He took me literally by the elbow one day and said, 'we're going to the library and I'm going to show you something.' He showed me LMP and said 'someday, you're going to need it.' That's how I got my agent. PWD: How many of the men read it? JJ: Three. ", "This is Ms. Lyons's first trip to Eastern Connecticut State University. What's more, she has been on a different college campus nearly every day for the past three weeks. Finding your way around is one of the challenges of being a textbook sales representative -- or \"traveler\" in the romantic argot of W.W. ", "These characterizations are so vivid and convincing that they are nearly hyper-real, as if Byers had set his protagonists under a microscope. Herein lies the book's great strength: while lesser writers would probably allow the compelling plot to dominate the narrative, Byers takes equal time to deliver a sympathetic but unflinching portrait of the American middle class and its discontents, brilliantly capturing the texture of late-20th-century life and the innate decency and fallibility of human beings trying to cope with its challenges. ", "\"Yes, I have,\" a sheepish Carlson replied. \"Thank you. You are awfully gracious. ", "In one hand is a campus map. The other grips a rolling suitcase stuffed full of brochures. \"OK, that's the library, so that must be science,\" she says, nodding at one of the nearly identical brick buildings. ", "Buyers, in conjunction with Hyde Park Jewelers, are standing by at the erstwhile Roy's Cherry Creek restaurant in the shopping center to take those family heirlooms off your hands. \"We'll buy it! Sell Us Your Valuables!\"", "They have been for the better part of a century. They may continue to be for a century more. That is their charm. ", "Its just a gamble. Youre just betting on a way of life. ", "Once again, and just as unimaginably, she was a poster child for the Hollywoodification of the book businessbut this time, literally. Now anointed a significant literary voice, Lansens, who spent some time just processing all the drama, is now one fifth of her way through a second book. ", "But I saw people in need, and I saw I could help them.\" In 1944, the major in Ternopol evacuated the villa and took her with him. The Jews were rescued by the Polish underground. She ended up in a camp for displaced people. ", "You'll discover, as one reporter did, the first volume of Evelyn Waugh's very hard-to-find one-volume autobiography (he planned three, but then died), \"A Little Learning.\" And for $5, hard-bound, no less. Disregard your claustrophobia and the justifiable fear of getting smothered beneath the Pisa-like spires of books, and have one of the helpful Sonic Youth clerks help you to the section on \"Hackysack, Yo-Yo's and Juggling.\" Nearby, look over the three full shelves devoted to the history and study of prostitution. ", "\"No job can be this bad all the time,\" she says. \"That's what I keep telling myself.\"", "The Private Eye Writers of America (PWA) is proud to announce its nominees for the 2003 Shamus Awards. Books and short stories first published in 2002 were eligible for consideration. In each work the main character must be a person paid for investigative work but not employed by a unit of government. Thus books and stories about private investigators (licensed and unlicensed), lawyers and reporters who do their own legwork, and other hired agents are eligible; works centering on law enforcement officers or amateur sleuths are not. ", "She died Saturday from liver and kidney failure brought on by a long battle with hepatitis. \"She knew that eyewitnesses to the Holocaust were quickly dying off and that if she didn't speak out, it could happen again,\" said her daughter, Jeannie Smith. \"She had a very thick Zsa Zsa Gabor accent, and her biggest fear was that people wouldn't understand what she was saying. But she was amazing, and her love for people and her message of love translated, and her story always got through.\" Opdyke, who was born Irene Gut on May 15, 1918, in Kozienice, Poland, was a nursing student when Germany invaded in 1939. ", "Two of them still drive, one is a Senior Olympics champion, and one is an avid canoeist. That's changed. The women don't pooh-pooh the bestseller list anymore, but they certainly don't follow it slavishly. ", "From Publishers Weekly Dr. Henry Moss, the protagonist of Byers's compassionate, richly detailed debut novel (after an acclaimed short story collection, The Coast of Good Intentions), is a gentle, committed physician who studies a rare syndrome that causes rapid aging and premature death in children. While treating two sons from the same family who are both stricken with the syndrome, Moss discovers the holy grail of the medical profession, a blood mutation that has the potential to arrest the human aging process. On the one hand, the use of his discovery might tangle him in severe ethical dilemmas, and perhaps even cost Moss his license. ", "She was later recruited to be a housekeeper at an officers' compound. About the same time, a German major had taken the petite blue-eyed, blond Opdyke to be his personal housekeeper, which presented an opportunity to hide her threatened acquaintances in the gazebo cellar. \"She told me, 'When stuff like that happens, you don't have time to think through what you are going to do. ", "Her pitch is friendly, low key -- the opposite of slick. A knock at the door and a handshake, followed by a slew of questions. Ms. ", "Writing television scripts paid the rent. There is a double irony here: He was typecast because he was good at both; and the economy of diction and scene-setting he learned from the kiddie-lit and television trenches are the foundations of his international success. He has blurred the boundaries between postmodern and genre fiction, between books for kids and those aimed at adults. ", "After the war, Opdyke was interviewed by a United Nations worker in the camp. When she immigrated to New York City in 1949, she met the worker again while having lunch in the U.N. cafeteria. ", "Jonathan Burnham, president of Miramax Books, who startled the publishing world last fall by forking out $625,000 for a novel called Bergdorf Blondes by Vogue editor Plum Sykes, concurs. Theres no doubt that publishers will be prepared to overpay for a major new literary voice, he says. But a big advance puts a huge pressure on the novel to succeed. ", "On the other hand, he could make a lot of money. Byers cleverly sets his tale in late-1990s Seattle, at the height of the dot-com craze; the good doctor, like most everyone around him, is far from oblivious to the immense financial reward his discovery might bring him. With infinite tiny, prosaic and precise brush strokes, Byers depicts not only this riveting dilemma but also Moss's relationship with his family: his wry, critical Austrian wife, Ilse, his clownish, good-hearted 14-year-old son, Darren, and his 17-year-old daughter, Sandra, a talented basketball player who falls in love with a black player on a boys' team. ", "After thinking about it for a while, he finally concluded it was Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen. She has taken the Bennet family, with their parochial lives, and adopted their language, which is in itself restrained and limited. But, he says, she has drawn them with such empathy that there is a universality about them. ", "After 27 years of near-celibacy and retired from a successful career teaching high school English, Juska was busy but lonely before she began her adventures. PW praised her chapters on visiting libraries or teaching English to prisoners even more than the randy parts: \"Old women looking for sex may not seem a hot topic, but there's something universal in this woman's love affair with the written word.\" She spoke to PW Daily contributor Norman Oder by phone at her home in Berkeley, Calif. ", "As the university libraries of Southern California strive to keep pace with mushrooming student populations, and as the rising cost of books drives students and parents to look for better values, the secondhand reading business is thriving along with the likes of Barnes & Noble and Amazon. A recent tally by The Times uncovered roughly 40 used- and rare-book stores in the greater L.A. ", "It was only when she tried to sell the book, however, that she learned what it means to be a real writer these days. She began by mailing out dozens of sample chapters of the book she had come to title Dont Fall Apart on Me Tonightlater changed to A Mouthful of Air. ", "Appearance versus reality is the underlying theme of the hottest debut novel of the summer. I can feel you yawning, but before you skip to another page of the newspaper, let me just say that the astonishing success of Mark Haddon's The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time shows that the way a story is told, rather than the story itself, often makes the difference between an instant remainder and a literary bestseller. Rights to the novel have been sold in more than a dozen countries, with the British publisher producing it in separate editions for teenagers and adults. ", "It is because drawn has three meanings, and they are (1) drawn with a pencil, (2) exhausted, and (3) pulled across a window, and meaning 1 refers to both the face and the curtains, meaning 2 refers only to the face, and meaning 3 refers only to the curtains. If I try to say the joke to myself, making the word mean the three different things at the same time, it is . like three people trying to talk to you at the same time about different things. And that is why there are no jokes in this book.\"", "\"He just paints a picture and leaves you to decide. He is very good at show, don't tell.\" Christopher speaks in short declarative sentences that he has organized in chapters headed by prime numbers. Here's the way Christopher writes: \"13. ", "Over a chicken sandwich and fruit juice, Ms. Lyons explains how she ended up selling textbooks. When she graduated from Duke University in 2001 with a degree in English, she already had a job offer from a business consulting company in Los Angeles. ", "She also has written two autobiographies and tirelessly recounted her story in thousands of synagogues, churches and schools throughout the United States, Canada and Europe. \"She became a moral compass to tens of thousands of children,\" said Haim Asa, rabbi emeritus at Fullerton's Temple Beth Tikvah, the rabbi who first urged Opdyke to take her story to others. ", "Something about the drone of the engine and the endless parade of white stripes makes her eyelids droop. This is a problem, she admits. Likewise, the fear of failure. ", "Old Civil War letters and personal diaries. Even an original copy of the now out-of-print \"Arnold's Bodyshaping for Women\" by Arnold Schwarzenegger, circa 1979. But though the relatively new Auburndale shop, Old Books and Prints, doesn't profess to have every book ever written, its collection of rare and old books will impress even those with a fondness for crisp, white pages and high-gloss covers. ", "Michael Silverblatt, host of KCRW-FM's literary talk show \"Bookworm,\" says: \"At a first-run bookstore, people don't necessarily like books. They like trends, or CDs, or coffee. But used-book stores are meeting places for people who like books, and not just books, but people who want to find bookishness, a substance in rare supply these days.\"", "As a child, she hated selling candy bars for school fund raisers so much that she bribed her brother to sell them for her. She uses the downtime to reflect on her day. Except for a few unpleasant encounters, it's been fairly good. ", "Located on Auburn Street, Old Books and Prints has been open for business since January and is one of the only used-book stores in Newton. While it is technically owned by former technology professional Jon Kontoleon, it is staffed by two people who call themselves \"a senior citizen volunteer advisory committee\" -- his parents, Jim and Jeanne Kontoleon. ", "One of them said, 'We're very private people, that's why we answer ads.' PWD: How different is the book from the manuscript? JJ: The chapter on my son was not there at all. My agent said, 'Your manuscript raises so many questions.' I asked myself, 'Jane, were you just meeting men?' No, I was very busy, doing this other stuff. ", "\"All I want to do in my life is bring people together regardless of their race or religion or creed or sex,\" Opdyke told a reporter in 1993. \"We need to learn never to hate again. ", "Opdyke, a Catholic who would later be honored as a hero by the Vatican, went back to his bed. \"I was pretty. He was an old man,\" Opdyke said five decades later. \"It was a small price to pay for the many lives I really didn't know them. ", "So maybe its no longer publish or perish; now its also possible to publish and perish. The time-honored tradition of a novelists serving an apprenticeship through his early thirties is waning quickly, says Morgan Entrekin of Grove/Atlantic, who gave the world Fraziers Cold Mountain six years ago. It used to be that you had pretty modest expectations for a first novel, and the idea was to get the writer in print and the writer would be allowed to develop, Entrekin explains. He points to John Irving, who was shepherded by the industry through a number of promising but uncommercial early novels (who remembers Setting Free the Bears or The 158-Pound Marriage?) before bursting onto the airport newsstand with The World According to Garp. ", "He also likes dogs, as \"they do not tell lies because they cannot talk.\" That's the upside. Christopher has no peripheral emotional vision; he sees the world in strictly literal terms and he has no friends. He hates change, looking people in the eye, the colours brown and yellow, and having different foods touch on his plate. ", "By Alex Williams Amy Koppelman had always wanted to be a writer, even after all those years she spent slogging away on a first novel in her closetthe only office space available in her cramped Upper West Side apartment. It was the closest thing I had to a room of ones own, she says. She still wanted to be a writer even after she got turned down by Columbias prestigious masters-of-fine-arts fiction program. Twice. ", "You dont want a small debut. You need to hit them over the head right away. ", "Arthur Phillips, a Minnesota-bred Gen-Xer, earned a similar sum with his debut smash, Prague. And the youngest recipient of publishings new largesse, local poster boy Jonathan Safran Foera 26-year-old Princeton grad living in Jackson Heightsreceived a clean half-million from Houghton Mifflin (not to speak of a very quick $925,000 for the paperback rights) for his first novel, Everything Is Illuminated. The magnitude of Safran Foers advance, combined with his tender age, drew so much attention it served to demonstrate to publishers just how powerful a marketing tool the advance itself could be. The larger the advance, the louder the publishers declaration that this is the book the house is gambling on this season. ", "While the Kontoleons don't actively peruse auctions and yard sales much anymore, they say they are still open to buying rare items. ", "It is near the end of the day and Ms. Lyons has one minor task to complete before going home. All she has to do is hand a brochure to a professor and thank him for using Norton textbooks. Afterward, she'll grab a quick dinner and begin the 90-minute drive back to Amherst. ", "\"You can only write for five or six hours a day,\" he says, \"so you have to find something else to do the rest of the time. For a lot of writers, it is either alcohol or family breakdown.\" Or both, one assumes. ", "Lyons is here to do. She makes a base salary of $28,000. But depending on her sales numbers, that figure could climb much higher. ", "This peculiar marketplace entrance-performance is something that everybody has to do now. William Faulkner didnt go around and meet ten publishers, who then participated in a heated auction that was publicized by Keith Kelly in the Post the next day. Another publisher is even more blunt: The writer has got two or three years to make the money back. If he doesnt, that big advance might be the last nickel he ever earns in the book business. ", "It's just something we don't talk about anymore. I don't think she would change her mind. But she's delighted by all these goings-on, and she's very supportive. I got an e-mail from someone who said, 'I don't understand what such a young man would want with a 70-year old person.' I guess you'll have to read the book. ", "PWD: This book came out of a writer's group. JJ: I didn't intend it to be a book; I was just going to make vignettes. It was terribly embarrassing for me--I'd have to leave the room and go for a walk. ", "\"And I was a little worried about, you know, how you were actually going to be able to eat and digest a shoe. I didn't even know what kind you were going to choose. So I had a friend of mine . ", "On any given Saturday, a Costco outlet can expect to turn $500,000 in sales. One of the managers told me he sold a $53,000 diamond the previous day. Products from lawn chairs to multi-packs of burritos tempt buyers-in-bulk. A woman strolled by (without buying a book, I might add), and in her cart were a giant bag of lemons, a smaller bag of giant mushrooms - and a 27-inch color TV. Did she go to get lemons, then decide she might as well get a new TV, too? ", "Lyons, you've been on the job for less than a month. At 23, Tessa Lyons isn't much older than the undergraduates she passes in the hallways. Professors often mistake her for a student. ", "It gave me courage to go ahead and just write about the sex part and not worry about how badly I was going to surely do it. PWD: You're writing another book about teaching. JJ: It's tales from my classroom. I've been a teacher for 40 years. ", "PWD: Are the men you're involved with involved with other women? JJ: Some are. ", "\"You've torn the bar code off! We need that to sell the book! Even cookbook authors must -- literally -- cook up interest in their books. ", "Three days later, Koppelman received a reply on solemn gray stationery that started, Yes, you are a real writer . And so Koppelman pressed on. ", "An encouraging sign is the recent influx of youth into the business. Traditionally the province of antiquaries and literates of the pre-computer age that is to say, older people used-book stores are now increasingly owned by people in their 30s and 40s. ", "She was homecoming queen at Red Bluff High School. In the photograph taken moments after her coronation, her smile is both pleased and amused. ", "It wasn't until his teen years that he began wanting to write, and it was only at the last moment that he decided to study English lit rather than math at Oxford. \"A narrow escape,\" he now thinks. Even so, he periodically has to nourish the scientific part of his brain. ", "Silverblatt is fond of Cambridge Bookshop on Beverly Boulevard in West Hollywood he likes to buy a book there and then go sit in Lulu's and drink coffee; but then who wouldn't? and Arnold M. ", "It all started with one barn in New Hampshire. Jim, then a station manager at WGGB in Springfield, was feeling the stress of his job and its new responsibilities, which included giving on-air editorials. One weekend, the Kontoleons took a drive up to New Hampshire to get away and stumbled on a yard sale of sorts inside an old barn. Minutes later they emerged with a bag full of old children's books (Jeanne's favorite) and the rest was history -- literally -- as the Kontoleons began to amass a giant collection of old books which they kept in a spare bedroom. ", "http://www.dailynewstribune.com/news/local_regional/newt_store07162003.htm Wednesday, July 16, 2003 NEWTON -- It's an inventory that would make any literary historian drool. A French thesaurus from 1757, pages yellowed but still intact. A gold-leafed volume of poetry from 1845 with a personal inscription on the inside cover. ", "A consortium of Warner Bros./Heyday Films/Brad Pitt and Brad Grey have bought the film rights and are in the process of negotiating with Steve Kloves (screenwriter for the Harry Potter films) to write and direct. After nearly 20 years writing and illustrating children's books, churning out television scripts, papering his walls with his own unpublished novels and firing his agent, Haddon has become an instant success. \"I have this fantasy that someone in that office has been beaten heartily on the bottom with a copy of this book,\" he says about his former but unnamed agent during an interview on a hot summer day in the Toronto offices of Doubleday, his Canadian publisher. ", "Top performers in the industry earn six figures. Consequently, if Ms. ", "It was one of the biggest debuts in publishing history. The cry from every publisher in town was Get me the new Charles Frazier! Suddenly, literary fiction was no longer thought of as a high-prestige but low-profit venture in an industry largely propelled by cookbooks, self-help tomes, and pulpy thrillers. Of course, literary authors like Norman Mailer, Toni Morrison, and John Updike were guaranteed generators of revenue, but they had built their reputations over a course of years. ", "But I have an agent, and she likes it. PWD: What does your son think? ", "\"I really want you to notice, Tucker, that this is a wingtip. It's a right-wing wingtip,\" Clinton said to laughter from the studio audience. ", "area. Although they tend to occupy low-rent districts, they exist in virtually every corner Hollywood, Van Nuys, Thousand Oaks, Silver Lake, Westwood, Glendale and in dizzying variety. They cater to chefs (Cook's Library on 3rd Street in L.A.), photographers (Dawson's on Larchmont in L.A.), astrologers and soul-searchers (Bodhi Tree used book annex, on Melrose in West Hollywood). ", "Buyers are there from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. today and Thursday. End of the road Enuf already. ", "Enraged, she agreed to speak to her husband's Rotary Club as a substitute speaker. Over the years, she was reunited with several of the people whose lives she saved. ", "It is one of Father's. His face was drawn but the curtains were real. I know why this is meant to be funny. I asked. ", "Haddon's solution is \"wholesome outdoor sports\" and painting with acrylics so that the canvases are dry before his toddler, Alfie, comes home from nursery school. Haddon obviously doesn't suffer from a problem such as Asperger's, but there is lot of him in Christopher -- the love of math, for example, and also his need for solitude. \"I was always one of those outsider kids,\" he says. He read gobs of science as a kid, avoiding fiction like a contagion. ", "Apparently John Clare, the English Romantic poet, ended up in St. Crispins Hospital, and so did Robert Lowell, the modern American poet, after suffering a manic episode when he was passing through. \"That's the end of Northampton's link to world literature,\" Haddon says with a laugh. Now happily living in Oxford, Haddon, 40, has big muscles from his penchant for marathon kayaking on the River Thames. ", "The classic has raised $10 million for The Children's Hospital in its 13 years. Call 303-456-9704 for info. ... Oscar-winning documentary-film maker Donna Dewey slings drinks at the Denver Press Club, 1330 Glenarm Place, from 6 to 7 tonight to help renovate the club. ... ", "I'd known these people for 15 years. Eventually, I stopped taking it to them. ", "Then the question came up: 'Jane, what were you doing 'til you were 67?' PWD: Your thirtysomething niece was upset about you getting involved with a man more than three decades younger. Have you patched things up with her? JJ: Well, yes. ", "Mainly that's because Haddon has chosen to tell the story in the voice of Christopher John Francis Boone. He's a 15-year-old kid who finds his neighbour's black poodle stabbed to death with a garden fork in the middle of the night and sets out to find the murderer. Christopher has Asperger's syndrome, a high-functioning form of autism. ", "Still, Book TV can be informative in a spinachy sort of way, and even enjoyable, as long as you remember not to watch it. I spent a whole Saturday cleaning my apartment with the set tuned to C-Span 2 and seldom needed to glance at the screen. Even at its best, American TV regards reading as an elevating exercise we must be coaxed to with proffered snippets of Hollywood glamour, lurid teasers or appeals to our civic spirit. To find the reader's life depicted as rich, fun, varied and even hip, you have to partake of BookTelevision, a 24-hour digital cable channel headed up by Daniel Richler (son of Mordecai) and available only in Canada. ", "Winning Aragis approval in itself is a benediction of sorts. Ive heard some very nasty accusations from people, then you look at their work and think, Well, theres a reason fifteen rejections are sitting in your box, Aragi says. Im very cruel about that, though, so Im not going to start sounding like an old bitch. There have always been bean-counters in the industry, because its a business. ", "Then Reifler signed on with Leigh Feldman, the agent who sold Arthur Goldens best-selling Memoirs of a Geisha and Cold Mountain. Feldman sold Reiflers first collection of storiesSee Throughto Simon & Schuster, albeit for a sum that would barely be large enough to buy a new replacement for her 1987 Toyota Camry. ", "She wanted to buy the movie rights and Whoopi herself wanted to play the lead. For Lansens, the deal meant another six-figure sum, not to mention an unimaginable windfall of publicity for the book, now in paperback. ", "As Jim's job changed, the couple, who met at Syracuse University, moved from Massachusetts to Florida to Connecticut, each time hauling all their new collectibles. During one move from New England to Jacksonville, the load was so heavy and the streets so hot that the truck blew five tires on the way down. \"Each time we moved, it was always tremendous because we had all of our stuff and a book store,\" said Jeanne. During the couple's final move, to New London, Conn., where Jim was starting up a television station, the collection was already quite serious. ", "In the world of textbook sales, that's not unusual. (Just ask the Norton representative who covers Montana, Idaho, Washington, and Alaska.) Logging that many miles would wear on anybody. But for Ms. Lyons, there is an added complication: She tends to nod off behind the wheel. ", "Write a column three days a week for 16 years and people barely blink. Write one best seller and, suddenly, you're an Author. Granted, an author who spent last Saturday at not one but two Costco stores, signing copies of \"Murder at the Brown Palace,\" the runaway best seller about a 1911 shooting at the luxurious hotel. ", "Because before you get too hopeful about the state of civilization books are, let's face it, on their deathbed. As an art and a business, they're obsolete. ", "But believe me, Little, Brown is sitting there saying, Whoa, we better hope we can pull a rabbit out of a hat. Lansens felt the pressure as she scrambled to find a suitably marketable topic for her second book. After this big deal happened, I guess we did all have expectations, she says. It was frustrating, because nobody could really answer why. ", "So she moved to New York City and took a low-level editorial position at Norton. James and Patrick work for Houghton Mifflin. ", "She had the engine rebuilt at 400,000 and gets the rust treated every couple of years, but, she says, \"it really looks good. \"I intend to keep it until I die but, then, I'm in my 70s,\" she says, quickly adding, \"We're both in good health.\" Around Denver Still openings for the 162-mile Courage Classic bike ride taking place Saturday through Monday. ", "PWD: You got a marriage proposal. JJ: And I turned it down. I'd have to give up too much; I assume fidelity is part of the contract. ", "A Mouthful of Air was published in April, and the New York Observer was quick to call it an exquisitely dark debut novel. It is only now that Koppelman can pause long enough to contemplate the bigger question: Was it all worth it? I got a $3,000 advance for the book, she says. Im not even sure that covers the postage on the queries I sent out. ", "Although she neither studied literature nor attended any writing programs, Lansens decided to attempt a noveleventually titled Rush Home Roadchronicling the relationship between a black grandmother in an Ontario trailer park and the abandoned white girl she adopts. The writing went surprisingly fastthe first draft took her about a year. I had read in some book that five to ten thousand dollars would be an average advance on a good book, Lansens recalls. And that was if, as was my dream, it was published at all. ", "The novel has a deceptively simple surface. Underneath, though, it is quirky and complicated, both graphically and textually. ", "Six weeks later, she and William Opdyke were married. He died in 1993. ", "At Doubleday, we believe in investing in a career, insists Bill Thomas, editor-in-chief of Random Houses Doubleday Broadway group. That gets harder to do with the money thats being thrown around these days. Its closing your eyes and praying. And that can hurt the writer. ", "But there are plenty of puzzles. In fact, the novel is a giant question mark about making order out of chaos. There's Christopher himself, of course. He's the one who's been labelled and who goes to a \"special needs\" school. ", "I do think, sometimes, people die early, they sort of give up on everything. ", "''Nonfiction,'' in its eyes, consists almost entirely of ''Dad books,'' weighty tomes on American history and the lives of Great Men that make serviceable presents for your father when you just can't give him another tie. ''Booknotes,'' C-Span's author interview series presided over by the network's founder, Brian Lamb, epitomizes this preference. ", "Concerned that the 12 Jews with whom she had worked in a laundry would be taken away, she decided to hide them in a cellar under a gazebo. They remained a secret for eight months, when the major discovered the Jews. ", "And I stopped writing it as a novel, because it was a really bad novel, it was so phony. I named myself Nora. ", "Life of a Saleswoman By THOMAS BARTLETT Willimantic, Conn. At the moment, Tessa Lyons is lost. ", "Reifler says with a shrug. Its a crazy way to live. ", "Almost instantly, the big New York houses were squaring off over the world rights. The deal happened within a day, Lansens says. I was meeting my agent at another publishers office in midtown Manhattan, and she stopped me at the door and said, We cant go in there. ", "But while writers like Mary Morris consider the blockbuster mentality something of a sickness in the book business, others insist its a measure of health. Some of the worst cynics tend to be people who maybe are never going to get published for a reason, says Nicole Aragi, the superagent-of-the-moment who brokered Jonathan Safran Foers handsome payday. Aragi embodies the blockbuster mentality better than most. She claims not to bother with midlist clients and takes on at most one or two new authors a year, and then only the superhot (she also represents Junot Daz). ", "The middle is falling out, but the financial upside is far, far greater. Its exactly whats happening in Hollywood right now. But whats good for the authors bank accountand the publishersin the short term is not necessarily best for his career in the long term. ", "But just before Lansens became a casualty of publishings new economics, her luck turned violently, again. Hotchkiss, in New York, got a call from Whoopi Goldbergs production company. ", "For some, the new equivalent of a writers apprenticeship seems more like a hazing ritual. Novelist Mary Morris is something of a Mother Superior to Brooklyns exploding writers scene. The author of thirteen highly readable midlist books, Morris presides over an exclusive writers group, which meets weekly in her Park Slope brownstone. ", "Norton & Company. Another is trying to make intelligent conversation about Wittgenstein one minute and plate tectonics the next. It can become overwhelming. Especially if, like Ms. ", "Lyons persuades a professor to go with Norton instead of Houghton Mifflin, she is taking money out of Patrick's pocket, and vice versa. And there's nothing funny about that. Patrick suggests that they \"do lunch\" sometime. When the pair is out of earshot, Ms. Lyons wonders aloud whether it's possible to \"do lunch\" in a college cafeteria. ", "I'm not taking this too seriously, it seems to say. She has tried to maintain the same aplomb in her new position, but it hasn't been easy. ", "Across the way was an endlessly repeating video for Oxi-Clean, a miracle if ever I saw one. Of course I watched. Scientists have proven that if there is a television turned on, a guy will watch it. ", "\"No, wait. Science is over there.\" She sticks the map in her coat pocket and takes off in a new direction, the suitcase rattling at her heels. Her confusion is understandable. ", "For almost 30 years, she never spoke of her actions, even to her daughter. Then, in 1974, when she filled in for a canceled speaker at her husband's Rotary Club, the story tumbled out. A write-up about her speech in a local newspaper caught the eye of a rabbi, who persuaded Opdyke to tell her tale to the world. She agreed, embarking on a new career. In the ensuing years, Israel honored her as a \"Righteous Gentile\"one of thousands of non-Jews who risked their lives to save Jews during the Holocaust. ", "JJ: He's terrific. He said, 'Go get 'em, Mom, it's your turn.' But he's not going to read the book. PWD: The New York Times ran a Styles section profile two weeks before publication. JJ: And I went up to the mountains. ", "So the question is a good one and, in all honesty, sometimes, I do have difficulty, and say: 'Come on Jane, simplify your life.' But who I would say farewell to? PWD: Would it be nice if all three lived in Berkeley? ", "When I was growing up, I was supposed to behave myself. I told my great uncle at a family gathering, 'You look just like President Truman,' and I was sent away from the table. ", "Acres has, by a conservative estimate, 750,000 books on its bowed, rotting shelves (the number probably is closer to 1 million). \"More books than anybody in their right mind needs,\" acknowledges Jackie Smith, who has worked in the store since 1976 and now owns it (her husband's grandfather opened it in the 1930s). You'll find everything from Kakfa to books on games to play with your cat, studies of Mesopotamian sexual practices to the early novels of Henry Fielding, and in every condition from mint first edition to dog-eared and ragged. ", "Mr. Thomas E. Bonsall, Baltimore, Maryland, for his work-in-progress, Lilac Time Ms. Martha Crites, Seattle, Washington, for her work-in-progress, She Who Listens Ms. ", "If you look at Jonathan Safran Foer, no one said, Well, this is a difficult postmodern novel by an unknown writer, were not going to get involved. Everyone bid on it. ", "This will not be a funny book. I cannot tell jokes because I do not understand them. Here is a joke, as an example. ", "Chicken feed to Nancy Camp. She bought her Ford half-ton pickup new for $4,200 in 1972 and the odometer just zipped past 562,300 miles. ", "I did it because I didn't think anybody would believe if I told the facts. [One of the men] said, you have got to write this as nonfiction; he had read a couple of chunks. PWD: You dedicate the book to Gene. ", "(Just over a month after her visit to Eastern Connecticut State, Ms. Lyons will resign from Norton and move to Los Angeles.) \"I'm pretty sensitive, you know, and when someone is mean, it kind of hurts inside for a few minutes. ", "And in doing so, he provokes his parents into modifying their own crazily self-destructive behaviour. Haddon, a soft-spoken Englishman, was born in Northampton, \"the jewel of the Midlands,\" he says dismissively. \"I always joke that there are only two literary links to Northampton, and both of them are to the same psychiatric hospital.\"", "Forster's words from \"Howards End\" perhaps ringing in their ears: \"Only connect....only connect.\" The proximity of the present to the past of life to death in used-book stores is electrifying. In a pre-digital electrical way. Take the Eclectic Collector, a dark, breezy hole in the wall just off the pier in Hermosa Beach. Presided over by Tom Allard, a Barnaby Rudge-type who can usually be found outside the shop in a Hawaiian shirt, smoking, the Collector is usually empty. ", "Thompson Bookseller, on 3rd Street in West Hollywood, for 30 years. Thompson said that the huge market for libraries in Southern California may help business in the short run, but it has taken a lot of books that would have been bought and sold repeatedly out of circulation permanently. But he added that the mega-bookstore trend has not affected his business adversely. But many experienced proprietors seem hopeful. ", "The participants always talk about the book in terms of how it makes them feel, a perfectly valid topic but not an especially interesting one when the feelings belong to someone you don't know and will never see again. The author, brought in to answer questions, invariably is asked, if the book is fiction, how much of the story is autobiographical and if there are plans to make it into a movie, or, if the book is nonfiction, how much research went into it. Fair enough, but that doesn't account for the generally deadly nature of Book TV's programming. ", "Their reading remains as varied as ever, from academic tomes to light novels. They haven't kept count, but they have read an estimated 1,000 books each -- just for the group. That doesn't include books they've read on their own.", "(Available at better bookstores everywhere.) Anyway, there I was at the Park Meadows store, seated at a table between men's striped dress shirts and washable suede jackets. Just down the aisle was a large stack of plums by the crate. I had some down time. ", "No hard sell. Some professors seem happy to have a visitor. ", "I appreciate that, senator.\" Afterward, Carlson acknowledged to us that he won't get away with eating a cake shoe. He's going to chew and swallow a real shoe -- probably a loafer. \"I'm screwed,\" he explained.", "Why, Sam: Johnson's Bookshop on Pico, of course, where the owner, Bob Klein, a literature professor and novelist, will even deign to discuss the Doctor with you. This being Los Angeles, of course, most stores abound in movie star biographies, self-help guides and Buddhism. Automobiles and art books often show up in force too.Still, some proprietors are not sanguine about the future. ", "PWD: He was the only one you were in love with. JJ: I know, but I can get over that, too. ", "\"As I grew up, I heard about my aunts and her childhood in Poland all the good stuff,\" her daughter said. But not the rest. \"She told me that when she came to the United States and saw the Statue of Liberty, she said, 'I'm here in a fresh country to make a new start.' To do that, she had to put up a 'Do Not Disturb' sign on her memories.\" In the 1970s, Opdyke, who was working as an interior decorator, became aware that revisionist historians were questioning whether the Holocaust happened. ", "There must be more \"classic\" vehicles on the road than I thought. A couple of weeks ago I mentioned a mini-pickup with 400,000 miles on it. This, of course, led to a reader calling with a Subaru that logged 484,000. ", "As Daniel Masons agent, Christy Fletcher, puts it: Its like credit. Its better to have no credit than bad credit. ", "\"It's an incredible story,\" he said. \"At first, it pained her, reliving the intimate details of her life.\" But once she got a taste of public speaking, \"She couldn't stop a star was born.\" Despite failing health in recent years, Opdyke kept a busy schedule until she broke her hip April 12. ", "The handful of BookTV tapes I've seen contain the expected talk show, but also news and magazine programs featuring stories about everything from government confiscation of underground comics to the ascendancy of fast food (pegged to Eric Schlosser's ''Fast Food Nation'') and a behind-the-scenes look at the tough-guy filmmaker Bruce MacDonald creating a ''tribute literary video'' to the poet Ann Carson. The producers go on location to Milan to interview the editor of Italian Vogue, and to Turkey to talk with writers who have been harassed by the government. All this is inventively visual, with the dead spots trimmed out and the rest spiced up with archival footage, evocative graphics and energetic music. ", "And don't forget the Frank Cotton Memorial Oddball shelves, named for the late head clerk of Acres, who until his death in 1988 functioned as the store's only computer. There, you find a volume titled \"14,000 Things to Be Happy About,\" and another called \"The Dot and the Line: A Romance in Lower Mathematics.\" Along with these testaments to the misguided history of human curiosity, there are any number of misguided, curious humans to be wondered at, shuffling along with that awkward sidelong gait particular to creatures used to over-tight bookstore aisles. Pale and near-sighted from years of 50-watt bulbs, they gaze up at titles mostly long forgotten, at authors mostly dead and buried, E.M. ", "I want to say 'Please be nice, this is my job.' But you just have to -- \" she doesn't finish the thought, dismissing the rest of the sentence with a quick wave. The two professors are finished talking and it's time for her to go to work. ", "He talked to six people for half an hour and sold five books. Then he helpfully took the shrink wrap off the remaining books and signed them. The clerk was aghast. ", "Samantha Scully, 36, purchased Gene de Chene Booksellers on Santa Monica Boulevard in West L.A. from its aging owner last year. ", "A wholly different experience from Acres, it is the kind of place where you can sit down with a copy of, for example, \"Legendary Yachts: The Great American Yachts from Crowningshield's Cleopatra's Barge to Today's Intrepid Bill Robinson\" (1971, $8.50), and lose yourself for hours in nautical luxuries. Lose yourself in a book, off the pier in Hermosa? What exactly was being smoked on the pier beforehand, you ask? But Los Angeles has lately come to the forefront in keeping the tradition of bibliomaniacal uselessness alive. ", "The Shamus Awards will be presented in October at the PWA banquet to be held in Las Vegas, Nevada, during Bouchercon, the World Mystery Convention. Best P.I. Novel BLACKWATER SOUND by James W. ", "It is prone to periods of cinema verite lassitude, as the camera lingers on people filing out of the room after an event is over while staffers pick up empty water bottles from the dais. Too many of the readings are just barely more animated than these Warholesque interludes. ", "Jane Juska is this season's literary sensation, the senior citizen who, with \"Aristotelian discipline,\" composed a now-notorious personal ad in the New York Review of Books: \"Before I turn 67--next March--I would like to have a lot of sex with a man I like. If you want to talk first, Trollope works for me.\" The ad graces the cover of A Round-Heeled Woman: My Late-Life Adventures in Sex and Romance (Villard), a book that has broken the Amazon.com top 100 bestseller list a week before publication. ", "The reason they work there? Well, it's their stuff. Almost 30 years ago, the Kontoleons, who have been married for 50 years, \"were looking for something to do,\" according to Jeanne, a former high school librarian. So they began collecting books by frequenting book auctions and yard sales. ", "But she isn't there to ask about the next test or beg for a better grade. She's there to make a sale. ", "Some aren't. PWD: How can you do it emotionally, switch from man to man? JJ: Oh my goodness. ", "an English professor cries. If there's a pause in the conversation, Ms. Lyons has a surefire solution. ", "But, as quickly becomes apparent, it is the adults around Christopher, especially his parents, who are the truly dysfunctional ones. Christopher can't change the fact that he is autistic, but he does manage by the end of the book to organize his life in a manageable way. ", "Their husbands were just starting their careers and nearly all the wives were in their 20s. They would meet in the afternoons, bringing their babies along. ", "I don't really feel a need to mount a defense. PWD: Was it hard to write about sex? JJ: A man in my writing group gave me a book called The Good Parts, excerpts of writing by famous people about sex. ", "A Book Club for the Ages Virginia Women Have Read Along Together for Six Decades Sept. 28, 2002 -- In 1941, a group of women in Northern Virginia formed a book club. ", "And it's worth a visit if not just to meet the Kontoleons, who also refer to themselves as \"the book gypsies.\" Maybe you will see Jeanne shyly roll her eyes when Jim calls her \"lovely\" in front of strangers. Or maybe Jim will tell you about how he was almost arrested in Medford when he threw pebbles at Jeanne's window before they were married. \"It was the kind of neighborhood where little short guys with suitcases couldn't peek in people's windows,\" he said. ", "We need them to behave in a businesslike way. Though Bill Thomas of Doubleday disagrees that this shift in publishing has created better fiction writers, he suggests it has coincided with a really good crop of emerging American novelists. I think American fiction is in a very good place right now, says Thomas, who edited Jonathan Lethems commercial breakthrough, Motherless Brooklyn, before ascending to his current post. ", "This was my first book, she says, still astonished. If it were my tenth book, I wouldnt have expected this. The new pressures are very clear to many young writers. A few years ago, Arthur Bradford, now 33, moved from Austin, Texas, where he was working as a school gym teacher. He quickly made his mark, earning an O. ", "\"Used-book stores should cater to people who can't afford new books as they become more expensive,\" he says. Still, he adds, \"it's a fool's profession.\" But it is the foolishness, like the uselessness, like the smell of life and death on those shelves, that makes the used-book store what it is. ", "She will then answer 25 to 30 e-mail messages and spend a couple of hours preparing for the next day. Several minutes pass. The two professors are killing time. ", "Faced with the store's closing and the loss of her job, Scully didn't want to see this neighborhood mainstay with a political bent (an antiwar poster adorns the door and a nice section of books on nuclear war sits inside) disappear. She believes she can keep the store afloat by attracting younger customers. \"I wanted the store to stay here,\" she said, adding that, as she spoke, three patrons in their early 20s were browsing in her shop. Brian Paepper, 39, a Dutch-born Angeleno, owns Alias Books, formerly West L.A. Book Center, on Sawtelle Boulevard. ", "PWD: Do you have advice for women in a similar situation? JJ: I just do not want to give advice. I'm not an expert. ", "Irene Gut Opdyke, who risked her life in World War II by hiding Jews in a cellar beneath a German major's villa a story of courage that decades later would make her an internationally known speaker has died. She was 85. Opdyke was 25 and working as the major's housekeeper when, in 1943, she overheard that the Gestapo was about to sweep through a local Jewish ghetto in Poland. ", "That experience has been turned on its head. All publishers are looking for fresh new voices. ", "I read Updike's and thought, he can't do it, either. And he's such a fine writer. ", "For devotees of the used-book store, Los Angeles has quietly become one of the last bastions, for L.A. has become one of the last great American book towns. New York may be home to the publishing industry and Lewis Lapham's thesaurus, Chicago still has Saul Bellow, but in both those cities high rents and the Internet have driven many of the venerable used- and rare-book stores out of business. But here, the book business is thriving. According to the U.S. ", "You need a happy ending, she recalls. I showed it to one big agent who agreed to read the first eighteen pages. ", "Used-book stores are filled with books, dusty, old, sinus-polluting books and, as if that weren't enough, with the kind of people you make a conscious effort to avoid during the day ne'er do-wells, layabouts, semi-employed dissertation candidates and self-proclaimed bibliophiles who consider writers such as Walter Benjamin, dead since 1940, their real friends. Used-book stores are not where you absorb relevant knowledge; they are not where you go to bone up on Steven Pinker's latest thoughts on cognitive theory, to peruse the newest campaign biographies or to sneak a cheaper copy of \"The Da Vinci Code\" so you can affordably keep up with cocktail conversation. If you like to make the most of your life, used-book stores can seem an absolute waste of time. That is precisely what makes spending time in them so worthwhile. ", "As the answers started to trickle back, Koppelman detected an unsettling trend. All the big New York agents and publishing houses told me the same thing: Look at the movies. ", "About three years ago, Jonathan came to visit his parents who were no longer working and decided to move them up to their present home in Oxford. Their new house even has a barn -- just for the books. Jim and Jeanne's daughter, a Newton resident, found the Auburndale storefront recently and the Kontoleons decided to donate their collection to the store. ", "Copyright 2003 Reed Business Information, Inc.", "The downside of all of this is the time taken away from what writers do best: write. The financial realities can be daunting, too. Most authors make $2 to $3 on a hardcover sale. ", "Looking for an obscure erotic science-fiction novel signed by the author? Bookfellows in Glendale. Need an early word of Samuel Johnson's? ", "Sebold's publisher, Little, Brown, is postponing the book's paperback release until the strong hardcover sales fall off. Sebold is working on a second book for Little, Brown, and then she will be free to shop for a new contract, potentially worth tens of millions.", "He says he sees room for everyone in the book business the Amazons, the Borders, the independent first-run stores and himself. \"I'm not going out to buy a new Lexus every year,\" he says. \"I'd rather spend it on books.\"", "You've got to react,' \" her daughter said. \"She said, 'You have to think with your heart and not with your head.' \" When the major discovered the Jews, he gave Opdyke a choice: Sleep with him, or he'd turn them in. She became his mistress. When she sought comfort from a Roman Catholic priest, he told her she was living in sin and should leave the major to save her soul. ", "\"After I have read lots of fiction, it is like having too much birthday cake,\" he confides. \"Reading science is like having a jug of cold water.\" After Oxford, Haddon spent a few years doing assorted voluntary and part-time social-work type jobs before he discovered he \"was completely unemployable.\""], "blog_5_2": ["He furrows his eyebrows at the old guy's question. \"I dunno.. I'm pretty old. How old are you? ", "\"I haven't come for it. It's not time.\" Somewhere in the London drawl there is a sympathetic tone of apology. A blue blockbuster card is dropped into a pocket. ", "He's leaning over Penny, murmuring something in that same strange language, and his attention is drawn on bringing the lit match to the cigarette at his lips. Utterly unmindful of his newfound shadow. [OOC] Turtle Jones locked up when Penny caughed about the song. [OOC] Turtle Jones says \"er coughed\" [OOC] Jesse can cut and paste a minilog to email? ", "It is chilly outside, and it threatens rain. Pobble sits across from Anastasia although he appears to be making ready to stand. ", "(OOC) Cornelius says, \"Suli's door is open. The other is not. ", "She seems to find her spine a minute later and calls to Pobble The Bear \"You just stay the fuck away from me,\" she points with her left hand \"you stay away,\" backing away, a tremor in her voice, hissing \"He said it wasn't /time/.. Hiro keep him away from me..\" It takes a while for the idea to leave his cranium, some grand plan for free porn rental using this found BluckBusters card. ", "\"He does not believe in magick, and is a cold product of this modern world, of soulless and passionless doldrum. He is one who is the antithesis of wonder, he is stark, cold and rationalizes anything he cannot understand away... and for that, he is painful to be around,\" explains the sidhe, who now spreads her robes to settle on the grass, in a nice little patch. She draws her legs up under her, in a lotus position, and takes a few deep breaths. ", "\"This ain't my Doom Glare,\" Dennis announces. Note that he doesn't protest. ", "\"No baby, you ain't. Noooooothing. Nothing but a hound dog.\"", "Can I get it to go?\" Thomas nods his head. \"I am sure they will pack it for you, if you ask nicely.\" , he says, nodding in the direction of the counter. ", "Lori glances around very briefly, satisfied that noone is approaching the extraordinarily odd group of people. Her hands absently adjust the strap on her bag once more while she peers up at Pobble. When Damian speaks, her luminous green eyes flick up at him but soon return to 'Pobs'. Amazingly, she doesn't speak. ", "The future of the free world may well depend on it!\" Pobble offers the contraption in his hand. Although it may be unrecognizable as a phone. He smiles, perhaps at your enthusiasm. ", "he chuckles. \"Hmm. Magnofico?\"", "Anastasia pushes open the door that leads out into the world and steps across the threshold as the door swings quickly shut in their wake. Contents: Anastasia Obvious exits: Dian Cecht DCI The Brewery TB East on Gregor E South on Bard S North on Bard N Pobble follows, seeming vaguely sympathetic and at the same time enraptured by the current goings on. He asks no questions as he follows after you, but does at times hold the books with one arm and attempt to reach out and touch the cloak.. [FAE] Anastasia's robes sweep at her feet, and she turns to look at you... ", "This room is not particularly large. Just an entrance room, really. Heavy black curtains hang over the windows in front, shutting out almost all of the ambient light from the world beyond. The room is lit only by real candles and gas lamps. ", "A white ringer t-shirt with the Pac-Man logo on it, and the words \"Pac-Man Fever\" is worn across her chest, decorated with red rings at the neck and sleeves. Over that, she wears a screaming neon yellow shirt, patterned with aqua blue swooshes that look like they were streaked on with quick strokes of a paintbrush. The skirt she wears is a bold black-and-white checkerboard pattern, and it flares out from her hips, reaching down to a few inches above her knee. Looking lower, she's got matching yellow leg warmers, pulled up to her knees, and stopping just above a pair of very retro-looking Keds - white with neon pink stripes, and neon pink shoelaces. ", "\"Whatever. This place never stops with the rain. And I need some more red soda, fugger.\"", "Black, laughter given by something said earlier. Phineas is watching the table where the man is standing up, but Pobble is not object of his attention. Anastasia gets a smug little wave of recognition. Pobble recovers from his momentary lapse of reason, patting the books in his arms with silver tipped fingers. ", "The floors are completely bare of any sort of coverings. Just finely polished stone. ", "not worth replacing... operating costs too high...\" It recites as if snippets of the past flash back from its memories. ", "A young girl with a wilted daisy still clutched in her right hand that hangs out loosely. Her eyes are glassy, lifeless. ", "\"Perhaps I spoke in haste,\" he tells Lily, though exactly which conversational tidbit he's referring to is unclear. He stops suddenly, having just passed a public mailbox, and opens the drop slot as though to make certain his mail was properly deposited. Reaching in as though to dislodge a stubborn envelope, he passes a few idle remarks, then, satisfied at last, withdraws his hand. ", "Predictable results. Wednesday doesn't respond to whatever language is spoken, she just tries to lift her body up with all her might--which isn't a whole lot. ", "Today I met with some strange people and noticed the existance of a before unnoticed duality. Some bizarre creatures that call themselves Fae and seem to be normal but then unexpectedly are other people while still being themselves. ", "Damian glances down at Lori for a moment, then looks back up at the painting, pursing his lips thoughtfully. \"They have movies about that these days, so no one needs it in art anymore. Attention spans like guinea pigs. In ten years, we won't have galleries at all, more's the pity.\"", "and they run away. Figures. So, he just stands there, watching. ", "********* here, two fingers flat to the button of her pocket. Flicks it open and hands one over. It's ******** she's smiling, Penny is. ", "That's deep philosophy for you, spoken in tones that mock the underestimating statement. He snaps his hand from his coat, fingertips glinting around a crisp eggshell white business card. He twists his wrist, offering the card to Damian face down. ", "Underlying it all is a clearly highly creative and intelligent young woman who far surpasses most her age with her innovativeness. Naoko shakes her head tightly, and says, \"No... ", "Let's see... now... if I can... ", "You paged Clipped Ear with 'Arcane 5. Standard diff +5'. Clipped Ear pages: Whats would say would be the standard diff in this situation? ", "Rather than being pleased, curiously, she looks momentarily mortified before some semblence of recognition crosses her face and a faint twinkle in her eye gathers. Turtle Jones spies Jesse and switches to a blues version of an Elvis song. Since he's half blind, he has to squint a bit. \"Don't step on my bluuuuuuuuueeeeeee suede shooooooes... no no no...\"", "That's what Cash is for, his lot in life for the day. Domestic in nature, though still a grave necessity. It comes in the form of two black glad bags, stretched to their limitations by a misshapen clump of bottles in various states of breakage. ", "\"Daz-ee baby, slow down,\" Daisy's getting much too far ahead of Penny \"there's totally no cameras here\" catches her eye just then, implies there couldn't be \"it just wouldn't make economical sense. Surveillance in a bowling alley? ", "red... blue goes with blue... ", "Nathan sits down at table in the corner. Never let it be said that Nathan isn't a gentleman, even when the lady proves to be so.. shy. ", "Her hair is an array of tiny, thin braids, most of which are let to fall loose to her shoulders and reaching to mid-back, but with still more twirled up into a topknot and held in place by two onyx chopsticks. A ringed headpiece formed of delicate strands of twining mercurial tendrils rests above her forehead, an irridescent halo for a circlet. The circlet holds a glittering gem that reflects a spectrum of colors, depending on the light, set into a silver filagreed frame and resting just above her brow. ", "\"Good evening, my droogan brothers. And sister.\" As he says the latter, he eyes Penny with a strange look. ", "\"Alright let's do this. StormcrowSTandsAlone enters the oaken wooden door marked Fiction. StormcrowSTandsAlone has left. ", "The hall of Fiction is extremely quiet. Silent like the grave. Your voices echo strangely in this place. ", "Penny looks up at the uncooperative door. Her eyes move from edge to edge, then spots it \"Who set the deadbolt?\" Hiro loses the wires and pulls up his pants, fiddling unsuccessfully with his belt. ", "\"A question for you and your companion, since we move in similar circles. Does the name Harbringers Inc ring a bell?\" Lori leans forward and reaches out to take the card from Pobble quite easily. ", "Zoe cannot help but smile at the bear, though she glances to Matt first before hse reaches out to give the huge animal a friendly scritch. Yeah, she's petting a polar bear. ", "He's quite fit, fit in a way which is rarely seen nowadays; it's the fitness that comes from exertion and work, not time on Nautilus equipment. Scars on his hands and forearms attest to a life of manual labor, and his thirty-year-old face alternates between tanned and sunburnt depending on whether or not he remembered to pack sunblock. That, too, is rare nowadays; in an economy where most people work indoors, Dennis clearly works under the Wenatchee sun.", "She has the typical upswept, angular features and sharply pointed ears of her Kith. Her voile is all dark woody browns and forest greens. She wears a pair of trousers made from a thick, soft cotton dyed rich, ruddy brown and a plain, long-sleeved tunic in ivory. ", "The stillness of the night air is threatened by the sound of wet gravel being displaced from the road. Halogen brights tear the darkness apart as a behemothic Hummer meanders into view. The rain slick roads are no match for its traction but the driver doesn't seem to be the most competent, swerving and meandering over the road for no apparent reason. ", "Everyone stands near Cowpunchers. Except Penny, who's slunk into a niche. Cash seems Drunk. Pobble looks fucked and sometimes agitated. ", "One door has the face of an angry, almost leering demon, another brightly polished brass nameplate under this one says Fact. There are no visible handles, just a hole in each open mouth with tongues sticking out. Contents: Polar-bear William Matt Petra Zoe Suliman Cornelius Read Me Obvious exits: Fiction (FI) Fact (F) Out (O) (OOC) Zoe would think not, no. (OOC) William says, \"It's a horse.\"", "\"Ya wanna see for yourself?\" Compton asks, barely containing a laugh, stuffing his hole with a wing instead. Rusty snorts at Compton's dare. ", "Or the pig that ate the truffle. Or whatever. \"You got it Arcer,\" he answers. ", "Cornelius pages: Mm. Right now we're about to have a blow up party. (OOC) Cornelius says, \"Well, begin posing kids. ", "Subway - King Station Dull, cream coloured tiles covers the wall of this station. The linoleum tiled floor stretches out to the yellow plastic warning line where passengers are told not to pass while waiting for a subway train. Subway posters and ads line the walls, framed in metal, protected by a covering of Plexiglas. ", "A double take towards Ailsa, if he were drinking it would qualify as a 'spit-take'. But nothing to dribble out his chapped lips save the remains of his cigarette and the last drink he had. Cash, now changes, ever so slightly. Feet move minutely farther apart from one another centering themselves directly under each denim shoulder. ", "My baby she took off and left me all alone again. All alone, baby...\"", "Too many pills. Or something. With a last double drag, the twin cigarettes are flicked away bouncing off the wall to fizzle out on the rain drenched sidewalk. Pobble's look of confusion snaps away as he takes a swig from the flask in his hand, causing him to drop the umbrella which was held by his elbow. ", "100?\" The sun dips below the horizon in the west and the Waxing Crescent moon rises behind the clouds with the ending of the day. ", "Zoe rolls alertness+perception (5 dice) at a difficulty of 8: 3 9 2 3 7 Achieving 1 successes, resulting in a marginal success. Clipped Ear leaves the waxworks. Clipped Ear has left. ", "Kaze steps out from where he has been the entire time, only now coming into general notice stepping over near Pobble and eyeing the bear with rider, \"It is this way Pobble-san, come I will show you.\" Where did he come from anyway? He motions with one hand for Pobble to follow heading towards one of the paths. Giving a startled cry, Liv is forced to hold on.. ", "\"Dude. P-dogg.\" P-dogg must refer to Penny, because it's in that directly that Daisy's facing, and it's in that direction that Penny's not responding. Maybe the music's too loud. ", "It's hit, his 30 proof breath travels and steams in the cold air. Penny's head resting on the swaying shoulder, Cash slowly infests her with the drunken swagger that snakes in his spine constantly. ", "Echo steps through a void into the OOC Nexus. Echo has left. ", "(OOC) Matt says, \"Well appearently Compton's being allowed to horn in on our scene. So let's go.\" Matt hands out the contents of the backpacks, giving Petra and Suli the extra radio detenators. ", "[FAE] Pobble glows briefly as he is enchanted. Eyes, sharp and grey, shaped like rose petals, are piercingly deep, taking in the world around her with cool calculation and profound intelligence, yet bearing a sparks of electricity - quick and vibrant.. This noblewoman fae is an embodiment of mystery, reminiscent of the glow of moonlight through foggy summer nights . A sparkle of diamonds against the midnight, her hair is a glittering deep violet hue, striped wide with shimmering silver streaks. ", "Mmmm, cold and bitter, just like his heart. A few of the bouncers are beginning to gather closeby, as if anticipating trouble brewing, but Dennis pays them no heed. Apparently he gets that reaction enough that he's become inured to it. ", "\"Oh yeah? Interesting. You know sometimes I get it right. ", "She doesn't reply to that wave, but says, \"I have a better idea.\" Wihtout another word, she heads for the door, turning from time to time to look at Pobble, making sure he is coming along. ", "She frowns at him, but not unkindly--if such a thing is possible. \"Fuggediboudit.\" The girl looks him over very carefully, not missing much of anything. \"So, Doc, what do you do with this PhD of yours?\"", "-----------------------------------[ - ]------------------------------------ And the strange woman in the corner looks over and sighs. And sighs again. And Ana looks towards the table where the others are, and sighs. And she looks to her hands, and suddenly decides she'd better do something with them. So, she pulls out a chessboard from her satchel and sets it down. ", "When it bleeds out, it'll just add to her urban hippy look. \"You realize,\" Keene says, reaching into his coat, pulling out a hip flask, and taking a swig from it before holstering it once again, \"that you need me alive to collect on whatever boon he'll give us for this job.\"", "As they talk, he turns back to continue the conversation with Lily. Morgan arches both brows now and lets them settle, but he's not going to dwell on it. He lets Ana go as she came, returning his attention to his companions. ", "SPLASH! He comes to the surface looking quite pleased with himself. Falling off the bears back, Liv is soaked easily to the bone. Sputtering and spitting out water, she comes up to the surface and splashes at the big white bear. ", "He manages to pry the damn thing open, and as he does Suili's hand comes free and the door clicks open. ((Give me two people on this one.)) He moves to the other door, and sticks his own hand in to open it as soon as Jumpstart and someone else are in position. ", "He sounds suddenly tired, swaying with the motion of demasting the rain deflector. \"They kicked us out? Christ. ", "Matt makes his way north. Matt has left. ", "The future's so bright, you gotta wear shades - and the same is true for her clothing. She's dressed like she's ready to party like it's 1999. ", "You'll need to find crazy shit like that further south.\" Indeed, Provo, UT is about seven hours away yet. :'aint from round ere' so to speak. Really, excpet for looking it up on Mapquest the night before, he hasn't looked at a map or asked directions once. ", "\"She'll be fine.\" From a pocket, Pobble pulls a handful of something, picks one, deposits the rest back and presses whatever it is into Penny's hand. \"You'll be fine Pens.\" he says again, pulling a half drained plastic water bottle from another oversized pocket and giving it to the woman. ", "The sound of sadness seems to draw Pobble from whatever trance he was settling into and he sucks the last from his cigarette before flicking it into the night. It skitters on the wet road and fizzles quietly. Turning, he moves to stand next to the girl, going to put a hand on her shoulder but seeming unsure and deciding against it at the last moment. \"Hey. ", "She's young, a teenager, around 15 or so years old. The heritage is clearly Japanese, for all of the features tell it true - the warm shade of her skin, the delicately sloped eyes of deep brown, the pert and gentle nose. ", "--attention snaps up. Fixes, somewhere between Pobble and Cash. ", "I had strength once... before they left. They abandoned me...\"", "He brings his hands around to the front, now free of the filter and probably hoping that no one noticed its discardation. He doesn't seem to bothered by the inspection he's recieving as he shouldn't since he's doing plenty of inspecting himself. ", "She adjusts her grip, dragging the necklaces and shirt into a tight fist on top of Wednesday, straddling the girl. She says, in Enochian, \"Take care of that, hey Jes?\" nodding toward the old man with the cane. ", "He calls out in a voice obviously British: \"Pardon me, my good man.\" Lily rolls her eyes Heavenward, murmuring something in a foreign tongue and shaking her head in a long-suffering manner, but she follows Artus, several careful paces behind. Despite her initial response, there is something keenly wary about the way she approaches, ready for anything; her hands are no longer clasped behind her back, but held loosely at her sides. ", "Although eyes are slightly glossy, there is a definate clarity to his expression. And backing the skinned Polar-Bear, the drunk, having lost his shyness at being less than sober. Though it's only notable by the criss crossing path his sneakers march him. ", "\"Arcer,\" he murmurs, plucking the smoke from between his lips, exhaling with the words. Keep cool. \"We ain't interested in efficiency. We're interested in you. ", "Thin silver topped fingers proffer the black smokestick in your general area as he swigs from his bottle. \"That hermetic wench is dead but not forgotten? Where'd you find her?\"", "Keen observers would note he now holds something, when previously he carried nothing. Gently, he alters Lily's course so as to intercept the wandering man with the run-down shoes. Lily envinces no surprise at her partner's behavior, receptive to the new course and instantly scanning the afternoon crowds for the likely reason. Up, catch. ", "\"Fine fine.. I just hope you know what you're doing since I have no fucking idea what's going on.\" Moving towards you he wraps an arm about your shoulder, \"If this all goes town the shitter,\" A solemn nod, \"It was good.\"", "so... bad... \" And that's enough stress for Naoko. The girl gets all flustered in her cheeks, and stumbles to the ground, planting her hand there so she doesn't completely bruise herself up. \"I need to eat. ", "Sacha has left. [OOC] Devard offers a yoyo? ;) Bungee cord? [OOC] Penny snickers. ", "He doesn't look away from Damien though, a mildly amused smile forming. With a somewhat glacial pace he begins to head across towards the man, hands sliding down into the oversized pockets of his yeti-like coat. ", "he mumbles. Strangely, smoke continues to drift from the hummer, as if another ciggy had been left burning within. Or maybe there's more people inside. \"Where'd you live?\"", "We'll set something else up. So, then, Jesse did not pick a pocket. He merely swapped cigarettes and went to the bathroom. ", "Devard thought that might happen. His grin grows. \"Im' sorry, Alyx.. My dinner date ran off with it.\"", "Jesse is not practiced, and so opts for the elegant solution of the stroll. Penny is chasing. Jesse is in slow and careful pursuit. Skittles crunch under the flat soles of his platform boots. ", "Her hands are otherwise occupied, a fourty in one and the other deep in his record bag. Her mouth couldn't be closer to his ear otherwise she'd burn him. \"So I says to 'r, I says... Ma'... don' bother me now, man, I got my headgear on...\"", "//.etro: Jesse rolls \"dexterity + streetwise\" at diff 6 For a total of 5 success(es) including 1 ten(s). \"Eva's sulking over something. You think I wanted to take the fucking train? ", "If you like, I'll tell him I forced the information out of you. Let him take his anger out on me for that.\"", "two.. three. Click, clock, clack. ", "as soon as they're inside, Matt decides that another form might be better for this and shifts to crinos. Matt's form blurs and a new shape steps forward. With Jacob, Zoe moves quietly, a rifle in hand, and follows behind the others. ", "Or rather, he would stroll were he not king pimpin' and combat booted. So its more of a strut. Well. It would be a strut if he weren't so obviously wasted. Lets call it swaggering. ", "Mary turns her head to the side, and winds up just sort of.. staring at Jesse, with this odd, sort of chagrinned look, like she's torn in equal parts between shock, amusement, and downright appreciation for the Elvis-twin's audacity or bravery. Wednesday looks up from her precision drop of currency just in time to catch the tail end of Jesse's salute. ", "Standing he heads off to a certain point and lets a drop of the clear liquid fall to the ground. Facing you, he heads in a circle, counting steps. While this could be some excuse to get a look from all angles he does seem to have some other plan in mind. ", "A Baroness eh. Steve seems to think he should stand. Everyone else is doing it, so why not? ", "You have just received a +recc from Jesse. If Alyx comprehends even the tiniest fraction of what Jesse just said, it dosen't show. Nope. ", "Obvious exits: Interzone Records IR Daisy has arrived. Daisy walks into the record store. Daisy has left. Compton has arrived. You walk into the record store. ", "Pobble. Penny moves sideways; away into some shadow only to be headlighted. There's a look - a fast gesture waved to them, to Cash and Pobble - not a good-bye. ", "There is a metallic sound and the mouth suddenly snaps shut with such violence as you might imagine it would sever his hand. But he seems unruffled. Welcome to the hall of Fiction. ", "We will send out your package via Federal Express next day shipping. A tracking number for your package will be provided tomorrow. We appreciate your business and will provide positive feed back on the next business day. ", "The shirt is tucked into this, revealing the real color to her outfit. Carrying: Cellphone The man before you stands maybe 5'8\", dark brown eyes, in sharp contrast to his pale white skin, flickering around, trying to take everything in. Of about average build, he still manages to come across as skinny: his skin, though, despite it's paleness, shows signs of weathering, suggesting he's been outdoors a lot. ", "There are loud thumps as Storms and Jump bash against the door. It cracks a bit in the middle but it manages to hold against the force of their blows. The leering demon face seems to mock them. The bum stands against the wall, over by the door, slouching in a patently James Dean kinda way... if James Dean looked like Jack Palance with a mullet. ", "We can restore you to a purposeful existance,\" she lowers her voice, eggs on \"We can give you a strength they never could. Do you want that?\" \"Strength...?\" The voice rises in inflection, the word rolls out on the waves of static through the microphone. \"Yes... ", "Penny tramps down the stairs, messengerbag slung over her shoulder. She looks up above the payphones. There's usually a clock on the wall there. Fucking country. ", "Esther comes wandering up the street, waving her hand in the air and muttering to herself under her breath. Downtown - Yonge and King(#200RJ) The most prominent feature of this intersection is the brand-spanking new Bell Canada Enterprises building. ", "Sylvan departs the well-worn paths of the lake area, disappearing into the thickets and brambles. Sylvan has left. Moving along an overgrown path, the Polar-bear ambles along at an easy gait. On his back, rides the lovely Liv. ", "\"Okay. Where did you come from?\" He pauses as he's talking and then chokes on something, it could be a lot of things, in his throat. ", "A search begins behind the denim flap of Cash's jacket and ends when he pulls out a flask to unscrew. Penny discovers a ledge to lean on and positions herself where Pobble can't see her face. She disappears along the side of the building using Hiro as a shield. Her voice thins to a sometimes heard rant about time and it's meaning for another five minutes. ", ":) Vanguard-Walker blinks. Bite? Last foray? Seems he didn't get all the details. ", "They did! Just came out of the sky! And... ", "At your table, Anastasia pushes a few books to you. There is a notebook, a small organizer, and the strangest of all, a largish old tome, something musty with cracked bindings. To those that are magickally aware, there is something extra about it - it seems imbued with a magick all its own. ", "\"Aha,\" she nods slowly, a flare in her eyes almost draconic before it disappears and he has a chance to glance back her way. \"They couldn't take a woman giving Arthur his sword ta do right, and had ta come up with all sorts of allegories. Lies. ", "OOC Naoko says, \"weird. it only rolled half my dicepool. ah well.\"", "He was feeling very Hermetic for a moment. Clears his throat, returning his attention to the ticker. \"The.. ", "Something something about Hiro in a chair hooked up to something with wires, pants around his ankles, a roll of pennies in his mouth. He, too, declares I wanna come. ", "[OOC] Jesse says \"Listen, I don't mean to be rude, but what the hell is with people interrupting RP, saying \"Hang On,\" and going OOC? This is my first scene IC, and that's twice it's happened.\"", "In contrast to the sharp style hinted at by the glimpse of its front, the once plain back has been marked with a red sharpee in a ragged X. The smile that accompanies the movement is precise and professional, \"We need to talk. Not here. Do call and we can do lunch or somesuch.\"", "If not, then not. \"How long ago since you ate anything proper, hmm?\"", "They are rolled at the cuffs where the material touches the fake leather of her canvas tennis shoes. She wears, also, a long sleeve shirt of a cheery pastel color, a tweed bracelet, and a three silvery chains about her neck. ", "Naoko rolls 3 (3 dice) at a difficulty of 5: 5 5 8 Achieving 3 successes, resulting in a complete success. Pobble quirks a brow, which dissapears under the beanie. He doesn't look too suprised, but just leans there watching. ", "You have just received a +recc from Wednesday. [OOC] Daisy says \"Ur. One second.\"", "And it's haunted.. Like and the monsters know everything you're doing and where you are and they're all hairy an shit like little uh waddya call it... gremlins.\"", "Lori comes wandering out of the club after you, not looking at all like she's fleeing or otherwise upset. Pobble is waiting just next to the door, already having lit a pair of cigarettes, one between thin lips and the other dangling precariously between his fingers. ", "Compton walks in off of the street. Compton has arrived. In a way, all used record stores have certain things in common. ", "\"Yeah. A happy one.\" Her laugh curls up. He pulls Wednesday to her feet, nods, then lights a cigarette and turns to grin at the raver who has turned up. ", "I have some... news regarding your package.\"", "Drake listens to whatever it is Kirra has to say, then shakes his head. Runing fingers through his hair, he sighs and follows her out, absently pushing his way past anyone who gets in his way. The bulk's good for something at least. Drake makes his way out of the club. ", "\"2004!!!??\" she squeals, surprised, delighted, confused, all at once. ", "His attention flicks briefly over Lori and Jerome before settling on Damian, lips pursed in consideration. \"Think that might be him?\" he murmers to his comrade. A solemn nod, that's the answer Pobble gets as Cash reveals the libations he's been hiding badly under his coat. Lazy eyes follow a passing gallery goes before his worn sneakers get side tracked by the crackers with the brie. ", "It's a relic -- a symbol of power just because of it's antiquity. We've wired it right into the fuse box. A computer microphone -- one of those cheap plastic boom mics people use for dictation and like net teleconferencing -- is wired directly into the current, and the ticker has a fresh roll of paper. It's two-way communication, so we can speak to it and it can respond through the stock ticker. ", "The smile on Daisy's face is so broad that it has to be put on crooked, half of it jammed up into the little cheek-room she has to spare and the other hanging relatively limply in the corner. It shows off some reasonably poor dentition and ill-considered dental hygeine, but that, if anything, is par for the course. \"It's been a year for most of us, Penny dear,\" says Daisy, eyes tracking Enid back toward the counter -- she IS going to put that album on. ", "[OOC] Wednesday says \"it /is/ a talent. Pickpocketing is a secondary, which, means it can technically be covered under a primary. but its up to the good ol' staffer.\" [OOC] Penny says \"Right.\" [OOC] Mary whews. ", "Not hard. Maybe a sort of polar bear version of 'Hey how are you?'. ", "The rest of this greeting is interrupted by something square that grabs Cash's attention as his steps have taken him into proximity. Soaked jeans cry when he bends down to pick up said shiny blue square. Flipping the lost BlockBuster's card in his hand, he eyes it as a prize and nods to himself. It ends up back in Pobble's chest, handed over to the space cadet. ", "\"Yeah. Like Jonny Cash. Parents were fans.\"", "\"Once he has a magi soul to finish the collection, some Very Bad Shit will happen.\" This is most definately the Trademarked variety of Very Bad Shit. At least he's stopped staring and is now introvertedly considering the situation. \"We have a few ideas, but need to investigate the waxworks further. ", "Canadians. Good thing she kept the lighter out. Flick, nudging Jesse reminding him this is the part where you're supposed to inhale. Penny says, in Enochian, \"Boring, boring.\"", "One of my colleagues has been inside the statues.. it ain't so pleasant.\" Silver nails tap together with a metallic sound. \"Supposedly the Devourer of Souls, or Nylarathotep.. ", "\"It's may something, 2004. Night time.\" He shrugs apologetically, \"Sorry I can't be more specific.\" Naoko quirks her head to the side, and then her eyes nearly pop out of her head. She jumps, about a foot in the air, and smacks her hand against her forehead, causing the blue spikes in her hair to wobble. ", "\"How's Hiro doing?\" Penny mutters to Jesse. ", "The soles, just as worn as the man who wears them. Chin slightly angled upwards, as to point his dull brown gaze towards the neon signs that are just starting to come alive in the time before dusk. A few small rivers of alcohol clinging to his chin, sending a hundred proof droplet towards the thirsty cement every ten steps. ", "\"Everyone okay with that?\" OOC) Zoe laughs and nods. ", "His attention crosscuts back to Penny and with a sudden look of urgency, he leans forward once more. \"Got a new stencil. ", "\"We should check into this.\" He whispers back, then \"Whadda ya doin'.... man.\"", "Compton sighs and looks, back the way he came, \"We goin or not kids?\" he asks with all the patience of a underslept grizzley. \"The 'Pots' just two blocks away...\" he offers up as a solution. Jesse reemerges from a nearby convenience store, his face washed, his makeup fixed, his complexion death-pale and ashen. ", "[OOC] Mary grins. [OOC] Wednesday ?'s Jesse reaches into his purse, and withdraws a cigarette. Sith a grave and solemn mien, the skeletal queen shakes a Lucky Strike free and offers it over, accepting one in return. ", "Diff 6.\" StormcrowStandsAlone rolls strength (7 dice) at a difficulty of 6: (8) -1- -1- 4 (10) 2 (10) Achieving 1 successes, resulting in a marginal success. ", "Lily considers Nathan's outstretched hand warily, as if the tailor might be concealing a rabid, starving Doberman up his sleeve, but shakes nonetheless, though her grip lingers in his only so long as the absolute minimums of courtesy demand. Not one for touching, our Lily; she flickers a fainly apologetic smile to him, murmuring, \"Lily Black, florist. A pleasure to meet you. Will you join us?\" She darts a look at Anastasia, adding a respectful nod, but makes no motion to disturb the other woman; Pobble's coat receives the fleeting hint of a grin. ", "The life of the freelance chemist is a dull and boring one.\" Pobble smirks at that, sharing a private joke with himself as he ashes the cigarette onto the pavement. \"Fuggediboudit.\"", "\"The pharoah is the obvious answer, is it not? And being that he seems to me to be one completely pretentious asshole, he'd likely use it, too. ", "Once he finishes, he will have all he needs for his ritual.\" Eri comes into the area from the southwest. Eri has arrived. Though she tries to keep things understated and quiet, there is no mistaking this woman for anything other than a Sidhe. ", "There's some confusion. Vanguard was on the door, but I didnt' see it. what're you doing, V-W?\" Vanguard-Walker jumps forward to grab the demon jaw, top and bottom, in an effort to pry them open. ", "Cornelius turns and offers you a smile. This is an older man. Slight, sort of frail looking. ", "Petra nods. \"On it.\" She looks around once, taking the right flank as they approach the doors to Fact. ", "An intensely frigid one. The door is opened. You missed it. Did he open it himself or did it open on its own. ", "Progress into the depths of the store is slow, cautious: a nervous, furtive animal searching unfamiliar territory. Past banks of CDs - beneath garish displays - through crowds of kids - then, finally, down a specific aisle, side-to-side flicker of attention, eyes darting across dust jackets and labels. A gutterpunk - two-hundred dollar boots, shaved head, pockets full of spare change - starts to slip a CD under his jacket while Enid's back is turned. With the same sixth sense granted to teachers that allows them to decipher just who threw tha spitball, the yellow-haired girl turns around and tell him, \"You're _so_ gonna put that back, 'cus I'm not gonna buy it back off of you when you bring it by next week.\"", "Looking around slowly, a wry smile touches his features. \"Nothing that I would imagine that I would listen to.\"", "Enid has arrived. From afar, Hiro tries to get you to your feet and against the wall, so you're not all sprawled out in the dust. Then books inexplicably. ", "Suliman rolls 4 (4 dice) at a difficulty of 8: 2 7 (10) -1- Achieving 0 successes, resulting in a failure Cornelius rolls 4 (4 dice) at a difficulty of 6: 5 2 2 2 Achieving 0 successes, resulting in a failure The demon's mouth closes on Suli's hand and he growls, roars and drops the detonators to grab the closing jaw and hold it up. \"Help!\" he hisses. ", "Daisy, raver. Compton patpats Penny on the back, looking like an Uncle afraid of getting caught on camera with his neice, \"Rose Motel's cheaper\" he replys. Jesse says, in Enochian, \"Nip had a weird *********. ", "A faint whine comes from the speaker, must be really bad reception from the otherside. Slowly your hair begins to stand on end. ", "You step back onto the ferry terminal as the boat comes to a stop. You walk back out to the street. You walk west along Queens Quay to York. You walk north along Yonge to Front. ", "All that Pobble can say is, \"You're a cop?\" incredulously while looking at Eri. \"I guess Park Rangers really get some whacky gear in case of emergency..\"", "Put some meat on those bones... no wonder you're cold--wait, now I'm beginning to sound like... nevermind.\"", "Pause. There is something wrong with the kid - he's on drugs, or psychotic, or far too sensitive a soul to be visiting the horror section of a wax museum. \"...think I...\"", "The anger bleeds away in to the psycho-scary seriousness that is always more scary than the wild maniac. Something about his tone makes you believe he'll do it too. \"Ahh...\"", "Rusty turns his head to the side and starts scratching at his cheek. The light snowfall becomes a storm. ", "burned up. A ritual of some dark purpose... I don't know. But I'm so scared. ", "Ridiculously high seeming, as if they extended far beyond human vision, in to the pitch depths up above. Something may be lurking up there, even now. ", "That little rodent stare gets even wider as he notices that is indeed not a wolf.. but a cat. He doesn't stick around for much longer, running back the way he came and slipping out under the door. OOC) Clipped Ear heads out. ", "\"I tried looking into the waxworks, but it'll take a little more effort.\" The Blue Haired Yeti man is sat upon a log, staring at Anastasia quite intently as he speaks, oblivious to any folk along the path. ", "\"I sort of... sort of..\" She chews on her lip for a moment, \"Wrecked my car.\"", "Anastasia folds her hands before her waist and starts to speak softly to Morgan, looking back over to her table. Morgan arches a brow, then whispers back to Anastasia. Anastasia answers to Morgan, flatly, \"No. ", "Though unimposing, he shows no sign of being intimidated by his counterpart. On the contrary. He pulls one of the cracker he pocketed, offering it up between long nicotine stained fingernails. \"You wan' a cracker, man?\"", "He sways a little unsteadily, sniffs a few times and shrugs. Pupils that were wide to begin with look about the room intently, as if an earlier ingestion of chemicals had found its mark and he chuckles quietly to himsef, offering a finger waggle to the other table. Anastasia reaches for her satchel and then, with her free hand, tugs at Pobble's coat. ", "Its all so wonderfully nonchalant that she even catches the smile of some annonymous, flirtations busy-body on his way to a train. She returns it just in brief and continues. [OOC] Penny says \"He rolled for it. ", "\"Shoulda parked closer.\" This room is not particularly large. Just an entrance room, really. Heavy black curtains hang over the windows in front, shutting out almost all of the ambient light from the world beyond. ", "She flings her hands at her sides, and now The Rage (tm) is starting to well up, though it's got a wyld chaotic fling about it, like a live wire dancing on wet pavement. \"I give you truth and you stab me in the back! And they call Eiluneds treacherous!\" Suddenly, she looks at her hands she just flung and becomes /intensely/ interested in them, The Rage (tm) subsiding almost as quickly as it came. ", "\"Doctor Steve,\" Eri echoes as she looks to the blue-haired man in the white coat, her words broken by an unintentional, good natured laugh. Then, more seriously, \"Well, I'm glad to know we have more allies...\" As her words drift off, she peers at Anastasia, hard, and then smirks faintly. \"You've been working with the prodigals on this problem, haven't you? ", "\"Hi, I'm Jon Sickert.\" He keeps watching Penny even as he brings his hand back, \"Red soda, booze, fuck man, she's on something. And I don't think it's friggin' Jesus.\"", "Upon getting close enough, Alyx interjects mildly, \"Maybe without Dave, I could actually get some sense out of Dr Steve.\" A bright, almost saccharine smile is offered towards Epnny and Jesse, before she asides to Daisy, \"S'up?\" Jesse has/had a bloody nose, y'see. ", "that one.'. Quiet pages: How did you wanna talk to her? From afar, Quiet shakes you. ", "Daisy is late to work, late to class, late to bloom, late to bed and, likewise, late to rise. She is, apparently, here to pick someone up, but is rather late to that as well. About a block south of here, travelling at a bouncing jog, she's coming up the street, looking frantically about for something or another.", "Eyes that are suggestive of some kind of drug induced haze channel surf, flicking between the pair and the static fuzz of no-person somewhere between them which is only visible to the befurred man. An approximation of outrage crawls onto his features, but it's definately a half-arsed effort by the muscles. The desired look is missed, and the expression that shows up in it's place is more like.. ", "An empty coffee mug sits before him and he seems to be too absorbed with his conversing to notice a new arrival. Morgan sits with Nathan and Lily, drinking and conversing quietly. ", "Mleh. Hey, you got an extra cigarette? Can I have one of those?\"", ", he clarifies. As the older man settles, Thomas attention seems to settle as well, back completely on the kid sittion opposite of him. Rusty goes through eight pieces of chicken at a frightening rate and he's talking quickly. ", "Her distaste for the man is evident, though, despite her emotionless tone. Now, for those who know Ana - her cursing like that - that's just unheard of. Jaws may now commence dropping. ", "Compton says as a form of personal computer mantra and opens Pine, to view the message of the end of a quest. Congratulations Buyer! We appreciate your prompt payment for Item #19390712348723, Jesse James Revolver for the price of $8,000US. ", "Heavy black curtains hang over the windows in front, shutting out almost all of the ambient light from the world beyond. The room is lit only by real candles and gas lamps. The air carries an old, almost must scent to it, giving you the sense of walking in to a building centuries old, even though it is a relatively new rennovation."], "blog_5_3": ["Waking up was REALLY difficult today. But I managed....and still got to school early so I'm ok =P. History class we are going more \"in depth\" into WWII. ", "100%! I was surprised, but not complaining lol. But yeah Mr. Curphey's now on crutches, hobbling around the classroom and still teaching us like his usual self. ", "After lunch.....afternoon went sorta like this: Bio class: note-taking + tirendess makes Joe tired. Not many jokes today or anything....pretty below-average class. We did some note taking. Oh yeah and I took down a whole note....AND THEN FIND THE HANDOUT AFTERWARDS IN MY BINDER. ", "CCH 3. Not being in competition badminton for a year.....I felt kinda shaky. But as we rallied, and then got into our game face.....the game blew by pretty quickly. ", "Kinda cool though that someone's actually heard of my piano playing. Interesting too I guess....how it's in my school. ", "Now I go watch some Avalanche game....and then head to sleep. Got Senior band tomorrow. ", "Can't wait. My monitor right now....7 years old....and probably produces more radiation than a Nuclear Power Plant. So now all i have to do is withstand this monitor for another week and WHOO! NO MORE RADIATION! ", "Then: BF1942. Jason would join in this too...and we played mostly holdout maps *D-Day* and urban fights *Stalingrad and Berlin.* It's kinda cool though how realistic programming has got over the years.....I still remember back when......well Doom was 2D lol. ", "No blog right now even comes close to matching my Huntsville one. Well....I know for a fact TC 2004 will match it=P. Or even exceed it. ", "We got an extra day to work on our project....and I kinda missed guidance cuz of it =P. Lol it was funny though. ", "Programming.....a clock fell on Cam, Icy got the blame, in the end no one got the blame. So we then worked on Turing, I for one got pretty bored and started surfing the net. Was pretty much done anyways. ", "Mostly all we did today was listen to our performance on Thursday......which was pretty bad. That was Communism day....and it sucked. No worries though I'm not complaining THAT much about it....since I guess we're lucky we didn't get Bronze. ", "OOOOOOOOH yes...sweet sweet luxury of no school =)....or very little. Well after dumping most of my junk in my locker, I preceded heading to first period: Music Class. ", "First time in my badminton career at least....and IT HURTS. Just knowing the fact that every serving attempt you had was wiped out by an onslaught of smashes, and you can't do anything about it since me and John only clear for smash reception.....yeah we lost pretty bad....and were pretty peeved cuz of it. 2nd game though, we did what no other team before us did..... ", "So talked to some other people on the bus.....and looked around the Kiwanis program for events that people I know are playing at. Didn't really see much except for some younger kids that go to my church. Two of them apparently have a duet, which I think is pretty cool. So when we arrive at Saunders....kinda funny how first 3 people I see are Anton, Jonny and Tyler. ", "It's an idea....I guess. I mean....now I have three fields I could enter: Business, Law, and Sciences. Bah but I wanted something with psychology. It's actually becoming kinda interesting....the whole neurology thing/psychology thing.....pretty cool stuff. ", "Although I lost, but I made some would-have-been decent doubles shots. Final score: 15-12 or something like that. We whooped some UWO ass though when we played doubles. ", "If she was disqualified I WOULDA GOT 2ND! TWO 2ND PLACES IS GOOD! BUT NOOOOO.........STUPID ADJUDICATOR DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO DISQUALIFY! GRRRRRR! ", "But the upside: Calvin can never deny his somewhat often occuring stupidity ever again =P. This is going to haunt him for a while....and as Gavin says: \"You are now officially out of the movie watchers club. The club: everyone else.\" Jokes jokes Calvin....but honestly smarten up at times lol. ", "Also chatted with the few people I knew there *NO ONE FROM THEORY 3 WHY!?* so managed to talk with Jaclyn and Lindsay while there lol. Though I'm mostly totally out of the bubble they have, there were a few things we could relate to. Normally I don't really see 'em much at school....hmm I think mainly because I guess I chill w/ different people? ", "Like usual I woke up at 6, did usual morning routine....and jumped out the door around 6:45 or so. I got there think 5 minutes late. ", "Well after eating...we headed downstairs to watch my newly bought movie....KILL BILL *again.* I've seen it 3 times already in two days....and the 3rd time watching it today was no different. I'm still somehow amused by the movie... So yeah pretty much everyone thought was pretty good movie. ", "WHY MUST WE BE #1?! Ergh first competitor in both events today lol. Originally we were 2nd or third but we had to bump ourselves up as someone had to leave early. Wasn't too bad though....we got to have a quick run through of piece being up there. ", "OH YEAH I REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED NOW! I woke up......and then Patrick called and said he's not going to school today. Well since I didn't have to worry about giving him a lift to school......I was kinda tired too....soo........Hmm I was tempted to stay at home today. ", "Now I won't ruin much about the movie....but some parts are hilarious even though it is an action movie. Also....anime part in the movie is crazy. If GOOD anime is like that, yeah I gotta pick up a few anime DVD's. Also just the beginning starting like an old Chinese Kung-Fu flick....really funny but cool. ", "And coaching did nothing since Ms. Bates seems to only state the obvious. Gah why couldn't our student coaches be here they actually PLAY badminton. ", "Hmm.....not much else happened....oh yeah Meaghan stuck to her Wednesday Track Suit thing....she seems to always wear it on a Wednesday like she said lol. Well now I'm off to rant about music class..... ", "Like usual......much typing.....and trying to crunch the many Syntax errors within my program down. Eventually with the help of Mr. Dayus I solved the problems.....and now we are onto a project where we have to animate a whole animation thing. ", "Basically it's a conference where you get to attend lectures about issues of today. *Shrug* I guess can't be that bad. I heard actually from people who went last year it's pretty fun. Something to look forward to I guess hehe. ", "Now science was boring like usual......did lots of notes.......Well keep scrolling down to the next part nothing to write about here.... Now we are into lunch. It was Ally's B-day *Happy B-day Ally!* and so we went to Jasper's Cafe.... ", "Oh yeah then this happens: Finlan tells me he's movin' to my area. Whoo. ", "Thompson had shitty pancakes from International Soups today, and Nate and Mike had BK and Subway. Mike left early for some reason, but after he left me Thompson and Nate started talking about starting a playoff pool for NHL. And then we left for school. Math class........it was usual. ", "Their pizza's back up in tip top shape compared to before. Might go there more often now =P. Oh yeah Starbucks opened too today according to Natalie....wanna go there and give it a try. ", "WE MANAGED TO PUT OURSELVES ON THE BOARD! YES! 3 POINTS! THOUGH IT WAS A HUMILIATING 11-3 LOSS......BUT WE ARE NOW KNOWN AS THE ONLY TEAM TO HAVE SCORED 3 POINTS ON THEM! ", "The aroma of BBQ sauce dripping into the fire, the sizzling of the steak being BBQ'd and all....yeeeeah it was a good aroma lol. So falling into the temptation *OH NO.....TEMPTATION* I quickly ran downstairs, grabbed a plate, rice, and quickly ran out to the wood deck to grab a piece of steak. Yeah savouring the previews to this afternoon's BBQ day for my English Service....mmmmmmmm good steak ^_^. So after eating that steak.....headed out the door for my usual Saturday piano lesson. ", "Yeah boring huh? Yes very. ", "So got home....quickly grabbed a sandwich to eat...then headed out for the park... No breakin' tonite....just workin' out w/ Marcello and Dan and then some ball on my own since no one seems to be at UWO now since everyone's GONE. So did some cardio...weights *my arms are useless right now literally* and then balled. ", "And long-time-no-updaters are Jason, Gavin and Josh. Like I said though I'm not gonna like YELL at them or anything....these weeks have been tough.....and I've been averaging only 6 hours of sleep a night. ", "It was REALLY BORING though. I slept through most of class.....and most of science class too. ", "So decided to take long way there instead of waiting for Dundas bus *patience right there* and took Cherryhill w/ Dan and Elaina, then transfered onto Wonderland. Got to UCC around.....330ish? Badminton today was decent I guess. Didn't really see anyone I knew....so played a few pickup games with some random people. ", "Basically planned out HYPE for May and June....mostly Kendrick and Wendy will handle it *with Theresa \"guest-starring\" a few times* and also we talked a lot about the three kids comin' in from Sunday School group in September. Also a few pondered about whether we will have new counselors next year. Hmm...so far our summer seems pretty relaxed compared to school year HYPE....and yeah we'll be packing lots of fun nights and stuff lol....mostly because well....IT'S SUMMER! ", "Meh oh well.....at least Thursday the Avs are back in the game. Finally I can watch a good team play. ", "Oh well I still have until late April to figure it out....so yeah...this is gonna be one huge prayer request...just for God to help me organize out my future for me....for those praying people out there. Yeah so that was basically the whole guidance appointment......50 minutes of talking aboutwhat I wanna do with my life. The bottom line: Keep my horizon broad. ", "AAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *wump.* Lunch: Went to Subway...........overpriced to the max. spent $8.25 on some stupid sub and a can of Pepsi. ", "Though I wasted one hour doing something I didn't have to do.......at least I have more time to study now =). Apparently Ms. Manson was at a track meet......so Mr. Campbell came into teach us today. ", "Plus........apparently THERE IS SOMETHING LOWER THAN APPLIED MATH! It leads to really retarded math through the future....but I was surprised there was something lower than applied lol. Band went through a quick runthrough....then GAME TIME! ", "Bio Class.......BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNGGGGGGGG. Another presentation.......well actually this one was kinda amusing.....they were talking about narcotics lol. But even if I wanted to nap I wouldn't have been able to. Holy crap Adam Ozvald sniffles once every 5 seconds....for his presentation he'd sound like this: \"Nicotine *sniff* is a form of depre*sniff*ssant.*sniff*It acts as a *sniff* depressant as it *sniff* causes *sniff* you to not *sniff sniff* have as *sniff* great of *sniff* senses *sniff sniff sniff* as usual\"....*SNORT* So yeah even if I tried to sleep......I woulda been woken up by the constant sniffling. ", "Went to a place I haven't been to in........LOOOOONG TIME. William's=P. ", "And then we headed upstairs....where umm a guest person was doing Praise & Worship. Originally I think Gavin was asked by Pastor Dale....but this weeks been REAL busy for many of us. With dinner, farewell for some HYPE members and for me Kiwanis and Badminton....life's been pretty hectic lol. But worship was still good....and today in the message we now have completed studying Phillipians. ", "Wharton comes back. Thank goodness. I'm sick and tired of this dude's moodswings. ", "Yeah I'm really tired by now....but I wouldn't sleep as when I got home..... I ate food. ", "So getting that by, me Nate and Mike ended up going to Stobie's today; a place I haven't been to since last November.....don't remember why...thought it was expensive back then. But seeing my spending habits now...it's a bargain for the quality food I get there. ", "True blessing from Christ =). Then after Lucas played, watched the other schools still. They mostly sucked. ", "Math: Trigonometry. Not much more to say about that, except Jenn is suffering in Toronto w/ Quadratics while I'm FINALLY out of that pif of crappage and into easier stuff that I really don't like....TRIG! ", "Oh yeah English exam postponed because of Badminton and other various activities =P. Shweet....now the exam's on the week that WOSAA's on. ", "Later.", "I'm actually getting BETTER and stuff.....so yeah I can actually sometimes compete against some university students lol. My smash receiving is pretty much the best @ church at the moment, plus out of the people I know. So played a few games.....and saw another dude from Central team there Steve Zhao. ", "Well hope for the best...the best being not Joe Failing. Chinese failing is still lingering on the horizon. After music class.....which proved that Saxophones may need some practice on their instruments came the trudge up the stairs to Science Class.....where I fell asleep for half of it. ", "So many jokes made tonight though lol. Too many to explain. One being Gavin's \"HEY MY CRAZY FRIES AREN'T CRAZY\" and Kendrick replying \"THEY LOOK QUITE SANE TO ME!\" Fries with mental personalities........wow.....how do we come about with these things? ", "Music seems to come pretty easy especially though. So not much school today...mostly consisted of playing piano, trombone, and then going home for naps =). So yeah.......pretty easy day for me......ergh Thursday's gonna be hell though intermediate band from 3-9 lol. ", "So yeah that is where it leaves me at....... HOME! So today had it's ups and downs. ", "So I quickly rush upstairs....but it was over. Turns out she just needed to know the conflicts that badminton conference will have. For me: virtually none =P. ", "After some nervous playing....and fumbling with the trombone slide....I FINALLY SEE GOLD AT KIWANIS WITH SENIOR BAND! Now at first....I was kinda expecting a silver since we had the same communist-like adjudicators as when Intermediate band played....but once we heard Lucas got Gold....I started thinking \"YES WE HAVE A CHANCE!\" And we did =). ", "well now the bell's rang by now....talked to some people......set tomorrow for studying @ Jason's house.....and while I'm at it play NFL street....wanna see what the game's like. I actually talked for a while, then I ended up running out the door when I was stopped by Steph Bourdage. ", "Well at first we sounded good......but then we started playing scales. We sounded like....*shudder.* It was the worst....and I think he was bulding up momentum to his PMS state.....because after we started playing another song.....and Connor and Arjun entered at the wrong bar......he was like PMSing. \"Releasing his Tiger\" according to Mr. McCumber. ", "So all in all I wasn't really complaining. Arjun woulda done really well I thought....except he kinda forgot a bit of his piece. Don't blame him though......apparently was his first time in Kiwanis. He didn't do that bad of a job either. ", "I'll take the Dundas....then transfer at next stop.......how smart of me ^_^....and it worked lol. Some other kid *Rui-Ming by name I think * was surprised how fast I got to that stop. ", "Wow. Problem is: I can't go cuz it's when HYPE is =P. ", "Then again...today did have its points where it was kinda amusing....but really I don't like Tuesdays.....the lead to stupid Band Wednesdays. I've also now concluded......I'm one of the sole survivors of bloggers. ", "Many think it's funny how the excessive blood squirting is amusing *I did a bit.....I mean it does sorta look like fruit punch* and also few of 'em liked my favourite part with the \"Wiggle your big toe.\" I won't reveal much of the movie.....so go rent/buy it on your own =P. ", "One day he'll be all happy and next day......PMS TO THE MAX! So yeah I'm happy I only have to tolerate this for three more classes. Well today music class sorta started with a jumpstart when Mitch fell off his chair and made the xylophone thing fall too lol. He kinda fell into it and CRRRRAAAAAAAASH! Mr. ", "Wow it's 11:30 already. Blast Habs lost to Tampa 4-0....but I heard from Jason Yao and the Rockets are killin' Lakers right now. ", "Some kids signed his cast also. And my mark is still at a healthy 87^_^. Lunch...we went to McD's since it was Big Mac day. Not much amusing stuff happened at lunch....since now there's no snow bank to be pushed in, and we all know if we push each other in mud, the other guy's gonna die once the muddy dude gets back up. ", "I can see why he was nicknamed \"Bones.\" Even with that though.....when gametime came.....1st set me and John got shut out for the first time in our lives. ", "So left around 845.....then drove down to Lina's then Jason's....and then to church. Btw........LEAFS JUST LOST AND SENS TOOK SERIES TO GAME 7! ", "Programming: won't elaborate much. Boring.....Mr. Dayus is gonna probably kill us one of these days, and it was boring like usual. ", "Lots of us did. Yeah lots of talk about that, and of course our usual fooling around \"DBZ HAND CLAPPING!\" right Gavin? ", "Hmm it's kinda funny......but it seems as though as my Spiritual Life grows....school stress seems to lessen and lessen more. God really makes his presence when you ask him for it. Well I believe that at least anyways if you don't....but really last few months....entrusting Christ with more and more of my life....things have really been flowing as well as water flowing through a river. Today's test seemed to be fairly easy....and I hope that Mike did alright also. ", "I then met up with Steve and Eddie and walked to my stop. Talked to them for a bit. ", "Yeah weird but guess he skipped school for badminton spectating. So talked to him for a bit, then Calvin, Pokan.....and then headed downstairs to get ready for 2nd game. Just before that though.....John apparently met his heavily-stoning partner...whatever the hell his name was.....but John seems to have lots of nicknames varying from Mophead to T-Time lol. After chattin' for a bit, we headed down then. ", "Yes though I am an Avs fan I admit they did steal that win.......SOG was 41-23 or sometin and somehow Avalanche won lol *Avalanche was the 23.* Apparently lots of Central students still go to William's though....haven't been there in a while don't really remember hehe. Went back to school then and sat around in Gym for a bit. Played a wee bit of ball. ", "For lunch......Jasper's today and did some quick studying for my Bio test...which I thought would be a quiz. Turns out it's one HUGE test. Well had a chicken quesadilla today from that place......WOW WAS IT GOOD. ", "Oh yeah sent Thompson \"Quake in Real Life.\" He seems hysterical about it....there hasn't been one person that hasn't laughed at that video....then my mom FINALLY took me to go look at a new monitor..... ", "Uhh....oh yeah but Jason came out for lunch today also. We talked about SC at lunch sadly lol.....but eventually we got in a huge convo/debate about how Chinese has no alphabet, and Nate didn't seem to get it. ", "Well at first I didn't notice it.....but when Lucas went up to play their piece....something in the back caught my eye. The snare drummer....his arms weren't exactly well.....normal. Thing is.......he can play the snare better than the drummers in my school. ", "ARGH! STUPID UNORGANIZATION *whaps head on table* OW! ", "Yeah history zoomed by sorta.....slowly. I can see why now though Britain lived....with Hitler making a stupid descision like that. Oh well off to civics. Learned about gov't more......blah blah. Boring. ", "Well.....now back to followin' the Avs after their long break from defeatin' the Stars. First game: Thursday, April 22nd, Colorado @ San Jose @ 10pm. Can't wait 'till then....last time they played the Sharks they beat 'em....and I intend the same to happen this year ^_^. Pretty good series though I'll bet.....Sharks have become quite the team over last 4-5 years. ", "Quick lunch.....I wanted Jasper's today though. Their food is startin' to really be good......mmmmm perogies and quesadillas....and pizza....mmmmmmmmmmmm.....................foooood... Bio class was pretty lame. ", "Like a regular daily convo. Well me being a loudmouth I started talking also....and before I knew it 30 minutes had passed....and I was at my stop. In Toronto it took forever for me to even just get a transfer lol. ", "Ugh. Civics class is a drag.... Civics today: caught up on stuff I missed....which was about voting....and today we learned about elections. ", "12 grads this year, which I actually never knew about lol. So we listened, talked, and made fun of Chris a lot today lol. ", "I remember Paul did that w/ Patrick I think back in grade 6, which is Anton's Maturity level now =P. So like I said before: Kiwanis wasn't that great.....I mean 5-way tie out of 5 schools then a 4-way tie out of 4 schools. In the first class we played \"Concorde Sketches,\" which I thought we did ok. But that wasn't the main thing I was amazed at.....I saw a gift from God today that was blessed upon the snare drummer for Lucas.... ", "Surprisingly.....Central's doubles teams would all make it through first round. SHWEET! lol. And so to our 2nd game: Central 1 Vs. ", "Interesting. No badminton.....so went home. Talked to Adam on the bus, got things organized for Bio project...and then home. Sc, Drumming......then Game 7.......which I now really think wasn't worth an hour of me watching. ", "But enough of the complaining...my day was.........pretty amusing I guess =P. Senior band was much more interesting today. We played Godzilla Eats Las Vegas as opposed to the last 7 weeks where we practiced Vesuvius and our challenge pieces for Kiwanis. Gets so boring after 3 weeks....so yeah I'm happy that we have a change of course FINALLY. ", "So there....some hope for me and John's badminton career =P. Summarizing today's Kiwanis in one word: Crap. ", "Well though me and John's hopes are now crushed for making guys doubles in WOSSAA.....there's still next year......or the year after that. Hopefully in one of them we make it. ", "And then she gaves us 40 minutes to complete 17 Romeo & Juliet Q's. Fun. ", "Er performance time. *1 hour and 30 minutes later* Listened to other groups play.....one group someone looked like Mike......another group was a hick group of pure guys and no girls basically *except two* and then the group w/ a choir.....which got Bronze. Pretty unique though. We got tied for Silver with other two groups. Not bad......though we didn't win trophy =(. ", "AND WE ARE IN TOP 10! WHOOOOOO! So we didn't do AS bad as thought.....which is good. ", "I had to shovel the driveway.......AGAIn. And then off to theory. ", "So yeah.....can't go to Hammond's and I'm still with HYPE =P. Well today in music....we kinda merged classes in the end and that was the main highlight. We played for a bit, and then heard some song on a CD. ", "Pokan found out Icy's password for Friendster, and then was gonna change it......and for 40 minutes Icy was struggling to keep Pokan and Hermann from changing her PW lol. Then Pokan found out that her password worked for ALL her comp things...MSN, Hotmail, Login name for Comp, etc. ", "Heh saw Steve Zhao from the team come today too. Managed to play a singles game with him. ", "Fallon's guidance office. Yeah I really needed this guidance appointment. I kinda let everything compact itself in so I never really thought about guidance until now....where I would have a 50 minute appointment lol. So basically I'd talk about how instead of pure business.....I may drop Co-op now and take Chem and Bio. ", "So then quickly ran through my songs, said a quick word of prayer and then headed out the door to DaySpring where I was to play my Kiwanis piece. So got there around 8:50 or so then......and one of my wishes came true... YES I'M THE ONLY ASIAN THERE! NO FOBS OR OTHER ORIENTAL MUSIC FREAKS THAT PRACTICE 7-10 HOURS A DAY TO COMPETE WITH MY MINISCULE ASIANALITY MUSICA SKILLS! ", "Not saying white people suck or anything.....but honestly I really don't like playing against those music-geeky Asians that seem to think Mozart is still Metallica and Beethoven is 50 Cent. They're all dead, and their corpses are probably gone....GET IN THE TIMES YOU OUTDATED SHMUCKS! Well there were 7 of us including me today playing against one another, and lucky me...I'm first on the list. So....you know did the usual announcing my piece, then started playing.....YES I REMEMBER HOW TO PLAY IT and surprisingly after the results came in......I GOT SECOND, ONLY TO BE DEFEATED BY SOME PREPPY WHITE GUY THAT CAME IN FIRST! ", "He's gotta know SOMEONE. Lol him and Tyler look almost the same though....except for the fact of course Anton's uglier *BURN!* And plus he's also a bit more retarded lol. Arnold prank calls? I have call display too. ", "Hmm.....sometimes life can seem to be turned upside down. When I say this I don't mean like \"OH NO EVERYTHING'S GOING WRONG\" I mean it more of a \"FINALLY LIFE'S BACK TO ITS AVERAGE SELF.\" Usually I don't like normality of my days....but after this hectic week....normality can seem to be such a precious commodity. With 4 days of Kiwanis, badminton, catching up on history+civics, and a whole potpourri of other things....hehe yeah these last few days have been a blast though. ", "And I remember why. It's the same thing as Jasper's but more expensive. Jasper's has waaay more food too, plus they give discounts to Central Students^_^. ", "These last few days have been pretty fun though, with Kiwanis and everything. Sleepin' now though hehe. ", "Talked a bunch of other stuff too.....apparently he knows a few people in our band. Not surprising seeing there's almost 110 of us in band. ", "Why didn't I go with Heather and Nate to McD's I don't know....IT WAS BIG MAC DAY TOO *shakes fist.* AND HEATHER EVEN GOT THIS REALLY WEIRD TOY.....THAT DID SOME REALLY WEIRD THING. AND ALL I GOT WAS A SANDWICH AND A ALUMINUM CAN OF CARBONATED SUGAR WATER. BLAST! Bio class: worked on our Digestive system theme park. Yeah......that is classified. ", "But then again I needed to see guidance today *which I did in a 50 minute interview* so yeah with my willpower I finally got up, got dressed n' stuff (morning routine) and headed out the door.....for another day of high school. Well......first class up......music. Boy only 3 more classes w/ Mr. McCumber and then Mrs. ", "Finally got home.....and WUMP! YAY NAPPY TIME! ", "Everyone else was still at my place.....so don't know what they did lol. But on my perspective of the afternoon..... Yup....so I got to my theory class late....but meh s'all good I'm only just trying to find some time to really cram in some theory....which I managed to do. Started paper 10, and did a lot in the other ones. ", "Not much to say.....we researched and took notes....not much else. No one's there on Thursdays for some reason. Bused.....came home......hmm.......yeah after school life consisted of TV, SC, piano practice, and some homework. Yeah your typical Joe Chan day....with guidance added and some funny parts to today's school day. ", "Uhh.......*COUGH.* Even though we had time of rest......OMG WE GOT OWNED lol.I can see why Josh and Calvin were pretty much anticipating my loss. They didn't look that good...Short kids.......and one seemed to be anorexic lol. ", "It was cool though.......liked the message today. Good reminder that no human or Satanic force can stop you, when you have Jesus Christ backing you up =). ", "WTH!? Twins were outside!? ", "He kept wondering how we write stuff if we don't have an alphabet lol. But yeah in the end I think he finally understood we use CHARACTERS and not every language is based on ENGLISH RULES. Bio class Melissa's group went today for seminars. Our group really has to start working on ours. ", "Pretty straightforward.....and I still think Civics is a waste of time. But we do get to go on a field trip =). Social Justice Conference.....something I was maybe planning to go to I'm now forced to go to. ", "Ergh......and I was so close to making quarters. If only we got by them....cuz next team I know we coulda won. Oh well.....we made a decent run for 8th seeded team I guess. I'm surprised we even got seeded lol.....we went to one quad meet and *POOF* we are in 8th place. ", "And now I'm home. ", "Apparently Ryan heard about Finlan moving around here too. Hahaha at least I'll be living more than 2 blocks away from him....Ryan's pretty much stuck on same street as him =P. ", "Two quick victories of 11-2 and 11-1. Fun fun ^_^. ", "English class.....since we were supposed to be doing exams but they are postponed for various reasons.......we read....a crapload. And first day of \"what are you reading\" book reports. Random choosing of people to talk about their book. ", "AND SOME OTHER PERSON WOULD HAVE HAD THE PRIVILEDGE OF GETTING 3RD!...BOOOOO! Oh well.....it's over and done with now. I got 3rd....I'm not really complaining *cough GAYNESS x7* and I'm still smiling *grr.....woulda got 2nd=@!* So afterwards....wow it's already 12pm. ", "Yep.....every party.......EVERY political party started out either as a crazy dude expressin' his thoughts and people are appealed by it or out of the blue a group of people get peeved at an issue and then eventually somehow evolve into a party. WHY MUST CIVICS CLASS BE SO SUFFERING? LUNCHTIME! ", "For now. And English. ", "I had to play a practice match today w/ John and two girls because Ms. Bates made us....and it's SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO TIME WASTING. ", "MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA! Now I can watch that.....and then watch Vol. ", "Not much happened. My whole after school was quite a blur. Went home then to eat and then headed out for senior band which I've talked about already. Anyways I'm out for the night. ", "WHOA OUT OF NORMALITY THERE OH NO! *gasp.* Today originally started off looking gloomy. Up until now I still don't get what's with me and thinkin' rainy days are gloomy....well it's not just me it's with many people. So I woke up pretty slowly, got downstairs had a quick breakfast and then got ready for church.....slowly. Gloomy days bring slow production. ", "*Shudder* one downside/upside of showing the movie today though.... First the downside: CALVIN CAN'T EVER SHUT UP DURING A MOVIE! ", "12 as our B-days....which means I ain't the only kid that doesn't have their G1 till then. Nothing much really happens in english....read a bit....and today we are just preparing for our essay exam......*shrug* After school......headed for home. Took the bus w/ Ryan and we decided to meet up at the park to play some ball after school. ", "So warmed up.....rallied a bit with John.....and then talked to the people I know there. Calvin, and the few who I've played before already. The dude quickly made a few announcements *the organizer* and then....LET THE GAMES BEGIN. So grabbed my Gatorade, raquet, and headed to Game 1 of the day: Central 1 *me and John* Vs. ", "Uhh........sure? Katherine: Do you know what I'm saying? Robert: I think so......Gullable's not in the dictionary? Katherine: Yes.....do you know that? ", "Arve was PMSing afterwards lol. So did that for a while, and then ate, and then played w/ Jeff and some other dudes on SC again, and then h/w. Oh yeah and some piano somewhere in there. ", "Hmm......crap it's raining outside. Rugby, Track and Soccer came in soaked.....so this can't be a good sign for me lol. Dave got a new raquet, hmm.....and we did some drills. My dropshot's getting crappier *shudder* but my smashing has improved altely =). Hmm.....bused home w/ John....then walked in the pouring rain back home. ", "Got to church around 9:10......just on time hehe. Jason and I did ushering for today. Hmm.....2nd last day for the few who are graduating. So we did usual ushering, and then headed in for Praise and Worship section of the service. ", "Hmm.....if I could get one of those timers......I would make one counting down to TC. So excited....there's still 12 days and I all the memories from 2k3 are already coming back into my mind. The flag carrying, yelling, running around the church like my usual self at school.....except more cuz after day 1 my voice was dying already lol. And then the food.....and me and Gavin's shallowness.....yeah immature 9ers....so typical lol. ", "Oh yeah Mike wasn't there today.....so the scapegoat of making fun of someone was........the one and only.......AMERICAN POSING.........JOHN THOMPSON! Yeah everyone made fun of him lol. ", "I'm happy though that when Kendrick came, we all just got to sit down and talk about it. Really felt good emptying all those canned in emotions. So we quickly said a word of prayer....then went upstairs to start praise night..the first official one done by only HYPE kids. ", "So I decided to pretend to look like I was doing something class related....by looking through the crappy books we were provided with...and then thought \"Ok...I'm goin' to Belle Air for music.\" Then I blared around on the piano for a bit..and class was over. Yes time flies.....then again it is Music....one class that I never like missing =P. Yeah also asked if I could play keys next year for Jazz band....but she would rather have me on Trombone. ", "Saw Meaghan struggling to find an entrance so we eventually found the front entrance. STA's announcements are much different from ours. After the anthem they seem to say something......like a prayer of some sort before the day starts. ", "So Icy was basically PMSing the whole class......and actually viciously attacked Pokan lmao. Funny watching though. And it's funny how biased Mr. ", "Oh well.....that's what Sportscentre is for lol =P. So from 5-9.........played baddy at UCC w/ Lina. Hehe talked to JT there too....studyin' for exams *sucker* and also met a dude from Gym Night. Sam, who was in my group for some of the games. Hehe was pretty cool, and I'm slowly building up my badminton friendship hierachy. ", "*Shrug* Well after that headed around the school.....trying to find the gym in a school seeming to be 4x the size of Central. Eventually we managed to....and...... WOW THEIR GYM IS SMALL. Well compared to Saunders. Maybe every gym is this size around town....but their gym seemed somewhat small. ", "Lol it's kinda funny cuz we can kinda go milling about in the room and he can't do much about it. Rhoden abused this priviledge by chatting to almost every kid on the left side of the classroom, and by the time Mr. Curphey could hobble over there, Justin would mockingly pretend to hobble away. Yeah Mr. Curphey seems to be having a hard time, but it's cool to see him back. ", "Slow moving, and everything. I don't see how Josh seems to like playing mixed....but guys doubles is much more fun and action-packed. People actually HIT the bird. ", "Not as lazy as usual. Well this morning.....after staying up till 1230 last night watching Sportscentre and Avalanche winning *and Sens winning also.....NHL playoffs pretty intense this year* I woke up around 7:30 and started doing my morning routine. Yay it's a day 1. That means no science or bio =), but instead the long, boring torture of double period w/ Ms. Manson *History then Civics....uuugh.* Well actually don't mind history...but Civics is really a waste of money and time. ", "Blast. So I'm stuck with pretty bland music for Trombone. All the songs are so crappy...and lame. ", "Today Pastor Mackness was speaking a lot about contentment, and how Christ gives us the strength to do everything, as it says in Phillipians 4:13: \"I can do everything through him who gives me strength. \" Service was somewhat a slow moving one.....yet a blur at the same time. It's hard to describe.....but it was pretty cool lol. ", "Yup.........sat on MSN for a bit though. Ergh Missin Game 6 of Sens and Leafs for Badminton. ", "Seems as though sometimes it doesn't work with some emails. Well I'm gonna go finish up work then do Devos then sleep. ", "Hope we win something. So today instead of school I awoke at 8:15 to get ready for Kiwanis this morning. Walked downstairs to the aroma of French Toast *mmmmm* and quickly downed it, since it was good lol. ", "Hmm........GAY! They played a EASY piece, a piece that we learned last year and managed to beat us out. Yeah pretty b/s I know.....but enough ranting about how crappy our Kiwanis went....onto the happier parts of my day....like missing out half of english class.....or struggling on a bio test=P. ", "Also gotta find my band uniform at Bud Gowan's tomorrow for Kiwanis on Tuesday. So hehe....until tomorrow's entry. Later people =).", "Not that I don't like em....actually they real cool people...just rarely seem em lol. So sat a round there until 5:15....where after a photo or two and grabbing a donut *something we get everytime at a theory \"clinic\" hobbled out of her house and then jumped in my car.....and off to Mykono's we go! Judging this restaurant is like judging a book by its cover. The outside....when I saw it for the first time *er noticed it more like* my first thought: \"O M G I'm going to this dump for dinner on Saturday?\"", "So those meats they sell at meat shops labelled \"Lamb\" does get business from some places lol. So after that scrumptous and eye-opening dinner into a new world of cuisine....I hopped into Kendrick's car along with Dan, Jason, and Gavin and we headed to BKung's place. Lol but before that....the crazy car rides that Kendrick somehow manages. First off.....drag racing a Jetta Vs. ", "Relaxing Friday? PHHHT That hasn't been on the menu for a while lol. ", "We sounded pretty good I thought.....though there were some rushing issues with trumpets. Nothing new. Mr. ", "So sometimes being out of the ordinary can really whoop ass. Who cares if Kiwanis turned out pretty crummy this year....this week also brought many other things into my life for me to see. I got to see disabilities of humans can never get in the way of achieveysments, see melf do decent in Kiwanis if not the school, Stage Band X beat out a senior jazz group, and of course.....SEE KILL BILL VOL. 1, which I'll elaborate on later. ", "Yesterday he kinda forgot half his piece....and today he bounced bac for a silver. Great recovery. And for some reason Fred and Christian were talking about......STAR TREK!? ", "Brian's Protoge....LOL hilarious. Jetta killed the little Jap Lawn Mower.....and we then stopped by at a Shopper's Drug Mart to buy some food and stuff for tonight....so did that....then back we went into Kendrick's Crayonmobile *it smells like crayons for some reason.* And off to Brian's. *Sigh* yeah tonight's the last meeting for JT and Ali. ", "Gotta sleep early for baddy conference tomorrow. Wish me Luck! Gavin managed to make it to WOSSAA for singles....Hope me and Mophead can do the same for doubles =). ", "If it's even on sale. MUST....GET.....SOUNDTRACK. Was so good....some of the songs werer crazy. The whole movie actually.....was crazy. ", "Good series matchups....though half the teams I wanted in never got in. Well Ottawa I wanted to win just to piss off the many Leafs fans in my area, but Canucks and Devils not making it in I really didn't think was cool. So yup....most of my evening has been spent napping, and watching the Leafs and Sens game that ended with the Leafs humiliating the Senators 4-1. Whoo. ", "Well after a quick 40 minutes or so with him teaching....it was lunch. Fastest civics class ever I think happened today =P. ", "Another SC player lol. Well didn't really get to talk a whole lot to him, but hope he comes around more often.....anyone's welcome in the house of God =P. Well he seemed to think it was alright at least. Too bad he couldn't stay for graduation lunch today. Which is where I'm leading to now. ", "My day's been pretty short, as my usual 6am wake-up call was shut off by me as I really don't wanna go to band when I got Kiwanis. I'd be dead tired by the time performance came. Also coming home and taking a nice one hour nap.....yeah my Wednesday has been lazy, short, and sweet =). ", "SHO STHUPAHD! And somewhat useless also...unless you're gonna be some engineer building stuff......er more of an architect. Programming did absolutely nothing. ", "well some but not as much. Now I go to Dragon Court to pick up dinner. And off to home.... Got home.....played some NFSU......sat around.......did some stuff......then dad came home. ", "So then we stopped at Angelo's....bought some food and then gave him a lift back home and I went home...ate then slept. *Three hours later* Here I am blogging once again...bleh today had its good times and its bad times. ", "We butchered it a lot with stupid acts like sinking our own boat, fighting each other and roadkilling one another. John was driving full steam into me with a jeep....I machine gunned him....eventually we both died lol. Head 2 Head I don't think will ever get boring.........may sound geeky but meh games can still be fun every once in a while =P. I'm not 40 just yet hehe. ", "We played the Gambolier song....and it sounded good, but apparently you don't win anything in that one. So all that effort...plus constructive criticism for nothing. So then a frustrated group of ninety some odd Centrallers packed their gear....then headed home. ", "So after service, we headed downstairs and just chilled for a bit. Some signed the journals that Connie and Mike are going to be getting, and the others would do that later. So we all just chiilled downstairs for a bit. Lots of talk about the Rockets vs. ", "Then came announcements. And in science.......MR. CURPHEY'S BACK! No more of some retired Saunders teacher called Mr. ", "And back here now..........on the comp.....studying...........looking around.......gonna eat soon......gonna practice Trombone soon......MSNing.......LIstening to music. Gotta still do Devos too. Wow I'm really stressed out right now. I just hope that HYPE prayers list got through to everyone too. ", "Hehe almost forgot about that government facility that over 5000 kids in London go to 5/7 days of the week. Why? Well simply because I barely went to school today lol. ", "I'm still deciding whether I should play senior band for the next 3 months left in the year. It'd be training for next year at least.......but should I? So many descisions to make...and yes this is why I have to pray. I dunno who else but God could really help me at this time. ", "Well didn't matter for me.....I kinda got used to the cold from walking home from bus stop. Well I ended up putting down an order for a Samsung 17\"LCD....model's like 170 or something like that. YES ONLY A WEEK OF WAITING! ", "Ahhhhh........$6.35. MY MONEY! Lots of talk about last night's hockey, you know about the Leafs LOSING to the SENATORS and the Avalanche stealing a win from Dallas. ", "After running through Senior Band, Wind Ensemble *senior one* stayed back for a quick run through. I also stayed back to work on much needed to be worked on theory. yup......MUCH NEEDED WORK. ", "And now that I'm done that...........back to English class. Listened to some book reports. Read Romeo and Juliet. *ZZZZzzzZzzZZZZzzZZzz.* We are up to the part where Friar Lawrence plans to fake Juliet's death. Boring. ", "Unlike singles....ugh all the running.....defeats the purpose of badminton being my \"lazy\" sport. In the end though chatted w/ Marcello who came for ball, and saw Dan and Adam there also. Well I headed out early though, leaving around 6pm....got a lift from mom back home then....and proceeded with the rest of my day =). Got home....quickly downed some food....and then.....WATCH KILL BILL VOL. ", "So yup....here I am blogging about my day....complaining about the corruption of Kiwanis, and the fact that I flunked a bio test. All in all......not that bad of a day. On the bright side got to miss some school, see some friends at Kiwanis and play t-bone. Also I got to find a book I'm actually interested in =P. ", "Too much to explain....as I will do throughout this blog... SO CONTINUING FROM \"Like I said...\"", "So after that long grueling class......of constant tacking of compy keys and *woam woam* of monitors.....SCHOOL'S OVER........well the government-required part. Final run through for Stage Band X as tonight we perform. So after practice.....bused home in REALLY heavy winds. ", "But somehow they managed a Silver still.....which was ridiculous. EVERYONE thought they shoulda got something like a Merit....or whatever's below it *coupons to Wal-Mart?* Oh yeah....also a gr. 11 student came in to play for us....run through before real thing hehe=P. ", "In the end I think JT and Brian killed me and Jason but we pulled off some pretty sweet stuff still lol. Ali had to leave early though.....but we all still managed to sign her journal and JT's before the day was at end. Kinda cool though with the whole journal thing....I want one now lol. ", "FINALLY a battle. The French lost so badly in the war that Ms. Manson didn't even bother talking about them really lol. ", "Rain Fall is getting to be a better and better book now....plus Fried Green Tomatoes is kinda picking up also. Reading's becoming a DECENT pastime now =P. ", "After that class.....DINNER! Went to buy pizza....and my 2nd cup of java for the day. Got a \"roll up the rim to win\" cup.....but lost. Grr.....stupid Timmy's not letting me win. ", "Central got gold....PLUS A TROPHY! Ahh yes....so Kiwanis now I've got a glimpse at every sort of make-believe Kiwanis earth metal there is. I've technically got 1 Gold, 4 Silvers, and 1 Bronze. This is including band stuff and my regular stuff. ", "And also picked up a job application form from City Hall for summer job. Thompson got the two forms also. ", "I guess office work is starting to look.....bland I guess. But it's cool too.....with the whole competition thing. ", "WHOA! And so far my average is 79.5. "], "blog_5_4": ["Still, it was a great experience to get to know him personally as I feel we will be seeing each other quite often in the coming days. Having left his hotel around 8 pm, Sol and I decided to pamper ourselves at our favorite Chinese restaurant. While we were having an orgasm devouring our vegetable soups, rice with mixed vegetables, chicken slices with soy sauce and sipping our Chinese tea as post-climactic chill-out company, we were still going over the events of the day and the plans of tomorrow although we had initially agreed that the dinner would be \"mission-free\". I arrived home, deranged, at 9:30 pm but I was mentally so hyperactive that I did not go to sleep until 2 am. ", "Moreover, according to them, they also came up with \"tons\" of new templates to choose from which can be interpreted as we have \"tens\" of new templates. Better than nothing when compared to those 5 mundane, excruciatingly simple templates they had had previously. One great thing they implemented is the Permalink update which gives each entry its own archive page. Ever since I started blogging, my permalinks have never (ne-ver!) worked right and just when I gave up on ever having proper links to my previous posts, they decided to work things out for me. ", "It takes to be a (hu)man to even get close to the latter. It needs completion of self evolution even to the slightest degree. It needs usurping scary territory. It requires holding tighter as opposed to relinquinshing across the first instant your partner takes a misstep somewhere in the tango. It needs dynamics, a rhythm that takes up many a long nights and even longer days to synchronize. ", "She went over the papers that I had handed her once more before starting her questionnaire, \"Your age?\" \"22\", I responded uneasily. \"Your degree of education?\" \"I am studying at Bayside University. Western Languages and Literatures.\"", "before I finally break the tie... I get carried away... ", "Sol: Great! I really really need to see you. Aura: Is everything alright, Sol? Sol: Oh so many things have... ", "\"Yes, uncle. Anything you want me to get for you on my way back?\"", "I can always hope. What else? ", "Taking it to my Cocoon, I started searching for a safe spot where it might have one last opportunity to recuperate. The side table? No.. It was too hazardous. ", "What am I gonna do? What do you do when you feel a chilling touch of wretchedness?... of helplessness? How do you cope with it?\" To which I silently mused my questions back, \"How do you escape into your own reality? ", "It demands acquintance; Conversance of a scent, a taste, a gaze, a nonsensual detail... It calls for endurance, flexibility and a lot of hit points. It needs to be a virtuoso of survival through horrid terrains. ", "I asked deliberately avoiding the word precious . \"Is it naturally undiluted? Ideal for drinking...or mmm...daily facial cleaning?...\"", "And right here behind my eyes... ...you are. Hidden against everything worldly. ", "The last question's answer is specifically important because in all the projects I have been, compromise turned out to be a toilsome concept which is closely related to the underlying human belief, \"It is impossible to make everyone happy\". I choose to believe that it is possible to make everyone happy as long as everyone has the same destination. What is arduous is the \"convincing\" course and this course is the outcome of people who share your destination but are determined to choose their own path in reaching it. In this case, I choose to free them. ", "What I have been doing for the last 5 years is simply choosing the first option. Hence, neither my dad is nor I am \"wrong\"; None of us has the \"fault\". They were simply our choices be it consciously or unconsciously. ", "If only I could tell. To kiss this tempest some solace, End the Titans' reign for a new tomorrow, Be my God Through whom I experience I So that I'll be your Goddess Through which you experience you. But am I the Muse on your lips? If only I were. ", "Sol: Oh did I wake you up? Aura: Uh... no.. ", "So once we listened to all those who were willing, we remained seated, pens still tapping, heads still tilted, eyes still blank... the air was still with the anticipation of a beginning. Finally, Avarel said something like, \"Let's start with our personal favorites\" and bingo! three hours the rest of the evening. ", "Behind my closed eyelids, I hear your whispering touch... Your unconditional desire camouflaged by a cape of amative narrative... why do you soothe me when your presence, your warmth reigning over me is everything I can ever... ", "I want nothing but to curl in one corner and have a \"summer sleep\"! It seems writing will not do, either. Just a few thank yous and I'm done for today: Thank you for Vermond. ", "Now what can I do about it?\" It is a roof that will house individuals who live to make a change in the world (and start doing it by changing themselves), who want to flourish and progress continuously throughout their Odyssey, who want to share their experiences and be supported in a closely-connected group family that is purely based on understanding and love regardless of religion, race, sexual orientation they belong. It is not a new religion! It is a totally new approach towards religion, rather... ", "That in this abysmal world of self-indulgent personalities including very much of his obsessive compulsive mother, I could understand him. More than once he yearned to die. He has cursed God continiously for letting him live in a hindered state. During his mania, he hates God with all his being, keeps swearing continiously and in a quite ridiculous manner at a creator he had never seen a favor from. ", "Personally, she will be the one I shall add to my little book of contactables. Of course, it was not easy to talk convincingly about a movement that was launched in this country only... ", "Get back to your sleep. See you then, bye! Aura: By(yawn)e... ~ Friday , Now. ", "I let you know who I was... then... you smiled. ", "That is even more interesting. I cannot recall claiming the impossibility of building a healthy relationship with my dad even once. ", "... I laid down on the sofa and stared at the ceiling as waves and waves of memories ebbed and flowed above me. Death forgives reasoning not. You just have to accept and get used to it the way it is. Otherwise, you find your self in a vicious cycle made up of a string of the same question : \"Why?\"", "looks like we'll be seeing a lot of each other from now on. Aura: Sorry.. ", "My eyes are burning with restlessness and visualizing myself in the middle of a group who are shoulder-deep in organizing N.D. Walsch's visit early this summer doesn't click at the moment. ", "Have I ever told you that my skin absorbs the scent of yours?.. that no matter how far away you may be, I carry you on my pores?... that whoever dares to touch me, they know the you in me?... the you on me? ", "Do you have a poem for me? If only you did. My lips run dry -- They cannot cry. ", "your being a powerful survivor in a man's world without casting your femininity aside... Although I have happened to look more like my dad in these years, I am delighted to be your reflection in the details instead of the overall appearance. I have your shoulders, your waistline, your expressions in my eyes. That is why whenever I look in the mirror, I can see you through my gaze... ", "Cardiology, I read as my stare hovered over people rushing in and out alongside nurses, doctors and medical students alike. Trees were as sparse as they could get and the heavy pedestrian traffic marked the abundance of people after health. I wondered how many were going to reclaim it and realized that even health was directly related to wealth in this \"developing\" country I was living in. If these people had the latter, they would probably have been showered with treatment opportunities without having to move a finger. ", "Moreover, I never claimed that it was \"way too late\" for trying after this point. On the contrary, I always stated that it was \"never too late\". However, the belief is there on my dad's part. ", "here to find out more and what you can do about it. There are so many things to be done. ", "All the effort, all the dreams, all the you-name-its went to trash thanks to arbitrary vaginal contractions. Beheaded, Ichoir slowly drowned and left us with a longing alongside a thousand memorable moments and lifelong friendships (as in Charon and Rain Man).", "I had already seen other cockroaches brutally consuming their disabled kin. Those who could barely escape the spider's grab and weakened, fell prey to their very own species. ", "Karsh and I cannot thank enough for the marvelous work he has come up with. He is a great blogger who has been with me from the very beginning. My hearty thanks, Karsh. Keep doing wha... ", "I even think of cats and dogs and birds outside but alas this is not the time for disclosing those corners of myself that might arise sympathy. It has nothing to do with me. ", "the breeze returns... the female cries and closes around you... but your eyes remain flowing in me... ...for another moment, I linger... ", "You know this is really really urgent. Aura: *thinks she hears her munching something* Do we? Sol: Mmm... ", "Now and then, I happen to present a snapshot of a reflection of myself in real life out there. ", "I shrugged and gave it up, turning away to slip into my stillettos as Granny was going on with her argument, \"If this dinner requires a spouse or daughter's accompany, you have one. Why not taking her?\" I raised my head and traced a hand on a dark brown lock that fell on my cleavage, \"It's alright, Granny.\" I said finally, \"I best remain hidden and invisible to the world as always!\"", "your ability to say \"no\" to something that didn't fit you... your creativity... your courage to challenge the possibilities... your courage to produce possibilities when they are least expected... your positivity... ", "the protagonist of my play... the Star of my Nocturne... I hear your monologue finding me from behind the immensity of winds... It concludes with the question, \"Better now?\"", "surrender for? Why are you with me when many a midnight garden await desperately for your water?... You reach for my nightmared, trembling form... wrap your arms around me... ", "Thus, I took a Kleenex and laid it on the bookshelf which was a less popular domain in this habitat they had created over more than a decade. Then I went outside, took a sugar cube, came back, placed it on the Kleenex and carefully set the cockroach on top of the cube. I had no prerequisite knowledge as to the regenerating abilities of these insects. ", "If they come out alright then the further step will be a tomography. The problem shifts from having a problem towards the vagueness of the diagnose process... ", "...a stranger... ...piercing eyes open to meet me... not halting even for a heart beat... ", "and God and above all Life... ...Life which is the most precious gift we are presented with. ", "Years later, dad told me that while you were by his recuperating side in the hospital right after his by-pass, you had said, \"I am too late for our child. We should save you because she will need you.\" Weeks after my father's leaving the hospital, my footsteps echoed in the hygienical corridors once more. ", "Timeline: Present This will come directly from inside, For I ran out of ornaments for vocabulary. I am walking on a deserted highway today. And a cushion of air, My feet -- They don't touch my ground. ", "My father reached forth and kept on uttering soothing statements. He had been there before. ", "He sighed and turned to my Granny, \"Do you think I shouldn't go, aunt?\" She crossed her legs and crossed her eyebrows, a posture she most probably had practiced to intensify the unpredictability of what might come out of her. \"Yes.\" she said to my surprise, \"Not without your daughter.\" He shook his head and put on his black, velvet jacket, the most formal looking piece of his \"wardrobe\" as I tilted my head, \"You see...\"", "An errand to need you. A kaleidoscope to have but not to hold. ", "\"Does your family know about your feelings?\" Feelings, again. What did this have to do with feelings, I wondered. ", "The feedback was surprisingly positive. However, Avarel had been just married to a girl from Trinidad whom he had met on the net and our mother-in-law capriced her way skillfully into her husband's bed which led to him dropping the group right after our first \"real\" concert. ", "You were dying while dad was defeating death. Those last three months were emotionally, physically and mentally devastating for both of us. You were postponing your death and I was postponing my sadness, embodying a courage & strength cocktail too heavy for the 17 years on my shoulders. ", "She despises the immobility I am causing her to go through. Although the dominant Aura has left the stage behind for \"good\", she never will, that much I know. She is the adventurous Victoria's Secret model who travels to Rome for a shoot by the Trevi Fountain before catching the plane for New York Fashion Days. ", "I think I frowned slightly and sounded a little austere, \"As long as I remember.\" She noted down again, \"Have you ever been with a man?\" \"Excuse me?\"", "Actually, neither myself nor Sol are focused on our whereabouts in this budding organization. We two act like one and, as far as yesterday went, have realized that we make a purposeful, enthusiastic pair as we complement each other like the pieces of a jigsaw puzzle (based on a friendship of almost 10 years), taking up where the other had left, perfectly. It seems our zeal is quite transmissible for all we met in a single day, ended up impressed by our motivation if not by the things we had stated. ", "Is it better in there, uncle? Is it better to let go and not fight?\" He closed his eyes. I lowered my head and Granny sobbed dramatically. ", "If only you did. I stand on the wrong side of the sea, Bearing wrong side of Fate. If only I remembered how to swim. If only you waited for me on the shore. ", "to Night is your call against mine... essence neglects the roar of psyche... ", "that time was so near until we were physically apart until a later the whenebaouts of which was unknown to us... and that you were too late to protect me from what was coming. Hence, you feared for which my response was, \"Do not\". ", "These creatures don't care whether you're in the middle of your meal or not, just pop in out of the blue and start munching on a crumb next to your plate) and somehow gather its strength before it went on with its life... ...although, since quite a bit of it was missing, it was obvious that it wouldn't be very popular in the mating season (which is like...bi-daily for cockroaches. They are quite a merry if not hedonistic species). ", "Then, I would bury myself in self-pity and suffer gladly. Putting aside pride (actually trashing my pride), I knocked every possible door (including relatives and old family acquaintances I vowed not to see any longer), asking for a little aid on the financial side in vain. For some reason, \"At least, I tried\" has been a thought that doesn't make anything easier lately. Anyway, casting this aside, I've happened to marvel at the thought that there is so much in the world to see and ruminate that we have so little time. ", "it seems that they focus on my biology but you are the ones who will take care of the gender dysphoria part.\" She raised an eyebrow which forced me to rephrase myself, \"Err.. ", "All his life was wasted among those walls that he happened to call home but I know that it was his dungeon. Worse, he is aware of it, either. He may be a manic depressive schizophrenic but he is aware of reality that much. All those things that he has never had the chance to experience himself. ", "If only you could. If you let me be your Scheherazade, The one to adorn your thousand and one nights, I will never leave your side until you sleep safe and sound. Will you still slaughter me in the end? ", "It was simply about being not feeling. \"Yes, they do.\" \"How do they react to it?\" I wondered whether she was doing this deliberately or not. My father was waiting outside in the corridor. ", "and the fortune it will cost. Being formally IDless hinders me from having an insurance (not that I can pay for an insurance, anyway) so that means I will face the full blow when it comes to the financial burden of these procedures. Well I'm living in a \"developing\" country with little or no concern towards the health of those who are broke. ", "oh wait... I already said that, didn't I? Aside from this twist, as of today, Blogger turned an upgrade switch on us. ", "Walsch's conference. That conference will be very important in the name of advertising, for certain. We also need to build a website and turn Sol's house (where I will be spending most of my time from this point on. ", "...your look deepen... your thrust in this any body ... ", "But this time we're breaking the cycle, dear! We'll be seeing each other a lot, I'm telling you. Aura: Shall we get back to doing that at 6 pm, then? Sol: Ok ok! ", "We went past the plaque next to the entrance which read, \" Ponderland Memorial, Psychiatry Department\" and went on walking towards the car. So this was an asylum, alright. So these people were blase towards such scenes; They were immune to such sounds and sights. But how was I going to deal with it even if that was going to be once every month? ", "And \"your message is your life, lived \" is Humanity's Team motto. It is \"a civil rights movement for the soul\". It aims to create a \"world in which humanity truly experiences unity and oneness\". ", "After a short while, I rested my cheek against yours and murmured, \"I love you\". A murmur that flourished forth from my very soul. ", "And you said, \"I love you too, my amber.\" Those were the last things we said to each other. Lost things never to be returned... In that final moment of our togetherness, we did not bid each other farewell. ", "It had nothing to do with knowing. It was all about not knowing, instead. Clenching my fists, I fixed my gaze on my uncle's chest as he sighed. Death could never be welcomed by him, I saw that much. Because death was not a redemption for those who never really lived. ", ":: MUSINGS II :: Timeline: Present * Not only my ears are functioning properly but my right ear that gives me the Darth Vaders came out to be a sonar. Half a decibel more and I could hear dolphins chattering as I swim underwater. Ironic enough, I am given a nasal spray made up of pure ocean water. After one week of usage, I will be re-examined and if the indiscribible problem still exists, I will go through blood tests. ", "I know a whole new world by heart. But can you be the Aladdin of an Arabian tale? ", "Aura: Sure... I mean... *yawns slightly*... ", "your warm chest, my harbor against the tempest... our Friday escapades... our afternoon talks over the rims of our coffee mugs... ", "A sour moment, perhaps, to re-open one's eyes into another reality and retort, \"So now what? I was dead anyway.\" And when I smiled at him, made sure that he was alright, he smiled back and asked, \"You're going, Aura?\"", ":: ICHOIR :: Timeline: Past (Winter of 1997 - Spring of 1999) O' the bliss of authority! Take 15 people who believe that vocally they are as talented as a spider during webmaking (grandiose grandiose) and place them in a semi circle in front of a piano placed on a platform where the victim is being auditioned. Also try to imagine them, having been told that it'll perhaps include some sense of seriousness into the mockery, holding papers and pens the latter of which are judgementally tapped against a cheek or lips as they stare at you, heads relatively tilted. ", "Chances are: Solara is moving to back to our neighborhood (For newcomers, Solara, one of my closest friends, and I had lived in the same district for 5 years before she decided to move -on-). Solara is moving back to our neighborhood and wants me to help her with the process (explains why we'll be seeing each other a lot). Solara is moving back to our neighborhood, wants me to help her with the process and I feel indifferent. Solara is getting married. ", "I have a life vacant for you A love completely healed -- should that be your heart's wish. Crimson possibilities in azure togetherness. ", "It would help you greatly and speed up your process if you met those who share your feelings and who are on the same road as you are.\" \"I see. Then, I will go for the group therapy.\" To be completely honest, I was not at ease with this decision at all. I couldn't visualize myself sitting in a group of men in drag, failing miserably at their exaggerated gesticulating in the name of femininity as they talk in a low key. ", "Look at me, loved one! Feel my pulse twice! Your averted reality, Your concealed weaknesses, Your mute fears, Your willful silence, Your bleeding wounds, Your stalking past, Your disguised present, Your alien future.... can never stain the spotless you this woman carries! ", "Blogger now has its own comments system, it seems. Then again, for some reason, it isn't working right for me... which is not a grand surprise on my part. ", "\"You could have been experimenting.\" she stated, leaning on the table with her elbows. \"I did my experimenting quite well without letting my hormones interfere with this, thank you.\" That was true. ", "I.. can't quite catch your drift, Sol. Sol: I'll tell you all about it on Friday. ", "down and down towards an ebbed beach... you lull me... my toe touches the cold sand... ", "Sol(ara): Hi, sweets. Aura: Oh hi. ", "Failed to save the cockroach which is now wrapped up in a Kleenex and rests in peace in the trash can, I was left with a beautiful image saved in my mind, at least. Barefoot women chatting as they transferred the April rain they stored in their rainboxes into a large tub before they dump a pile of clothes into it and exchange the current gossips whispered in Constantinople. A superior save, for certain.", "I tried my best to hide the devastation I felt upon being fed by this news last night. It is to no avail trying to put some sense into these mindless beings and make them quit the idea. They have their own reality and are deaf to everything else but... ", "Like having been sucked to death alive by a spider was not enough. I reached forth, gently liberated it from the trap to which it didn't even react.. Barely another twitch of the antenna, perhaps. ", "This (and more) from someone who knew me perhaps no longer than a week sometime in the past. As opposed to the lacking openness and genuinity from the rest whom I gave a part of my thoughts, a part of my life, a part of my heart. ", "This must be it). As of today, I feel disconnected and cranky (if you still can't tell). I haven't had a proper sleep for the last two days. ", "However, there they were, hurrying in and out while, being the patients themselves, feeling sick and weary. Noticing the majority of them were old people who were floundering in pain, I felt a knot in my throat and felt the necessity to clear it almost in sychronization with the professor. It was then I realized I still hadn't responded to her statement.\" Yes...\" , I said as I turned to her and mimicked her superficial smile, \"... ", "I am afraid this shall be so until after Neale's conference. So much to do, so little time... ...and so much will be accomplished thanks to that \"so little time\" since when us humans have so much time at hand, we tend to be very postponic.", "Give it a go herself and not even let the poor guy burn alone, finally away from her in hell? They have this pathetic bond formed at birth which she carried one step further which was enough to cause her son to end up loosing his mind. They have this love-hate, \"can't live with or without you\" relationship thanks to her being like a vulture circling above on the near-dead body of his all their lives. ", "summer is around the corner.\" Oh this was new. ", "\"To Nyx (Night), Fumigation with Torches. Nyx , parent goddess, source of sweet repose from whom at first both Gods and men arose. Hear, blessed Kypris (Aphrodite), decked with starry light, in sleep's deep silence dwelling ebon night! Dreams (Oneiroi) and soft ease attend thy dusky train, pleased with the lengthened gloom and feastful strain, dissolving anxious care, the friend of mirth, with darkling coursers riding round the earth. ", "Sol had been contacted about his activity by the HT Internatonal Liasion thus we arranged a meeting at his hotel... err... room. Seated comfortably while sipping our Earl Greys, we exchanged ideas, got to know each other and I had the impression (which Sol also agreed later on) that he had advanced knowledge on the matter, was very eligible to start a group, yet, whether he was a fitting candidate to facilitate a study group or not was very questionable. He is a great resource, a walking library at his late 50s. ", "\"What is so precious about April rains, Granny?\" I asked out of curtsey rather than curiosity. \"Old Greek houses used to have rainboxes to store April rains, child.\"", "Alas, I would be astonished, if it did. Maybe someday I will have a technically-very-able reader who will give me a helping hand and I will implement Blogger's own Comments which will not get archived after a point and end up out of reach for free users (as in Haloscan). ", "Hmm yes.. the visuality. ", "Thus, such mortal scenery or summoned ghosts of jealousy may never fear the you in me! Do you conceive it be yielding to an illusion? ", "You can come up to me and ask, \"Aura we have been witnessing and reading your life for 6 months and you are telling us that you have deserved this?\" My answer would be, my friends, that it has nothing to do with \"deserving\" but \"choosing\" and to be able to understand that choice here I am inviting you to the very cores of my dad and myself. ", "you harbor a mystery when I'm not riddling? I once wore the Crown of the Night , beloved one... I shall carry the birthmark of the chosen females until the ends of time and beyond! ", "Sol and I are meeting on Friday and I will have composed a basic \"main page\" material for our website alongside material written for the brochure, by then. As a friend warned me via e-mail today, I cannot (/don't have enough time to) sit back and savor the bliss of this process with things proceeding in the speed of light. ", "I thank you for feeling for me from across a horizon in a way that makes me think that within only a week you could see through my looking glass more than any men who have ever stepped in my life.. that you not only listen ed to me but also hear ed all I had to say. ", "She got up floundering and picked up her plate, \"The laundry, child\" she croaked, \"It's ideal for laundering\". Then without another word, turned around and staggered towards the kitchen. ", "the woman tranced beneath your body... held away in you... pleasure of the moment belongs to her... ", "...And you enter my stage... resting yourself in the depths... ", "And mother... I still haven't uttered the words, \"I love you\" to anybody. ", "\"Why\" is a bloodthirsty question, indeed. Especially when followed by \"me?\" Whatever happens in life, it should never be approached with this question. ", "Almost a week ago, dad and I were going through a conversation which was bouncing back and forth between a discussion and a quarrel. It was a bitter one since I was being quite pushy and was deliberately drawing him towards his borders and making him face the reality that he had been rationalizing. In doing so, I had no intentions to \"correct\" him, let me explain this part. A most precious understanding New Spirituality has given me is the element of \"perfection.\" Perfection in everything. ", "It was then I remembered the notes. There they were right on top of the pile I was carrying. ", "Tell me life is fair. Belle De Jour and the trivia surrounding her. The book deal that spurted forth from her blog, the quintessential movie rights and whatsoever. ", "Through living lies the message of Spirituality... Through living lies the expression of one's true self. ", "And some more. It is unfortunate that I have (more than) everything ready to make a start and all that I have been working and praying for is a reasonable amount of money to fund it. If only I didn't do anything to achieve it. ", "Obviously, I was as effected by the general impression of transsexuals as anyone and had my share of prejudice. With that she got up and handed me my papers and hospital records back, \"I wrote two notes for you that will grant you entrance to the group therapy. Give them to the doctors who will attend the therapy. ", "willing to be professionals.... getting used to each other, gradually... liking each other... ", "Timeline: Present Water I soused on my face ran down in a chilling fall from my cheeks towards my chin where they formed a thin stream before they are reduced to droplets and finally a tiny drop. I opened my eyes and saw it through my wet eyelashes as it twitched its antennas helplessly under the shelf above the drainpipe. Tangled amidst a crossroad of web, the little cockroach was almost emaciated, almost a step away from waste. ", "Aura: I got that part, love. Good or bad? Sol: Definitely good! Alright, we're seeing each other on Friday, then. Well... ", "You are far beyond our expectations\". This is a silkened version of saying, \"We are not interested\". I tried but I was turned down! ", "Swift doesn't work for me (there you go. Another belief, another self selection). ", "She is the lunar actress who flashes a smile at the cameras clad in a barely there Valentino while she walks swiftly on the red carpet towards the Academy Awards. She is the scandalous diva who, upon her sold-out performance at Wimbley, is spotted leaving The Gardening Club at Covert Garden totally inebriated among a bunch of Chippendales. this place has been my recent obsession. ", "This drastically reduces one's tension momentarily and gives one the opportunity to relax and listen. Still, we snap back and indulge ourselves in a claw-versus-claw affaire d'honneur. Rationality across a chance for some power trip? No way! ", "Many variations, I formed and sounded... yet never those three words together. I simply couldn't. As if saying those three words together to somebody else would be a betrayal to that moment. As if those words belonged to our moment. ", "Timeline: Present I have never been more distressed about living in a country which is made up of an innumerable number of personalities who are completely title oriented. So there they have it! I am the Project Director of Ponderland's Humanity's Team as the elegant printing on my business card states. You cannot come up with something less than that since any title beneath \"management, directing or supervision\" is kindly ignored. ", "Goddess of phantoms and of shadowy play, whose drowsy power divides the natural day; by fate's decree you constant send the light to deepest hell, remote from mortal sight; for dire necessity (Ananke), which nought withstands, invests the world with adamantine bands. ...my bare feet echo naked footsteps on the cobblestones... The fullness of Mother Luna chills me for the first time... clouds be her veil... before the spiral marble stairs leading down to the shore, lightning bugs waltz in a fire ball ... ", "My greatest err in my journey would be to try to keep someone from reflecting and expressing his/her great vision about him/herself. If that perfection does not include mine , if the river comes to a fork, why attempt to block the other branch's run in the hope that its waters will eventually be tamed (suppressed!) and flow in harmony with mine? (Moreover, would I prefer harmony of that kind?) Setting someone free is a mutual gift in that sense.", "How do you manage to deal with being an outcast? Is being crazy really an answer? If I went out of my mind and did whatever I wanted to do, would I be granted forgiveness yet end up in an asylum, still? My past and all that I had to go through having been ignored, would I be denied sympathy and given the cold walls of a mental hospital echoing with the cackling glees of lunatics as an answer? ", "your broad, dusk-filled hands travel on the valley of my spine... and you pull me over you... your cheek resting against mine... ", "Do you believe me? If only I knew. But maybe it is all about not knowing. ", "; A sarcastic remark my dad is quite used to hearing, indeed. I didn't hear him come home last night since I was weary of my uncle's attack made up of constant howling, wailing, crying and screaming so I took a bunch of sleeping pills and buried my head under my pillow earlier than usual. In the morning, a little item was standing on the bed table... an item resembling a jewelry box. ", "And... *gulps* We just keep running around in circles in our conversation. ", "the children of Chaos who shower you with sensual adoration in vain... you deliberately pulled me into this pandemonium with the hope of illuminating a catastrophe? Why, even into your delusion, I shall walk wearing nothing but myself, loved one! you play a game when I'm not playing? you blow a strike when I'm not attacking? ", "help me with it, that is.\" She nodded seriously and opened what seemed like a notebook while I fidgeted on my chair. Although it was early spring and sun was reigning outside, here in this pocket-size room, even sunlight seemed dormant. ", "At 64, it is not easy to gulp down being rejected. At 64, it is not easy to start all over again...\" Now can you clearly see how he sees himself as? ", "I'm sorry for not being there for you whenever you need a shoulder to cry on. I'm sorry for all those things I could have done and become but I couldn't. ", "Will you refill the space you leave around me? If only you would! ", "It shouldn't be left vulnerable to its companions. Companions that were even more depraved than the spiders ambushing in the shadows. ", "You pulsate swiftly, surrounded by me... ...and you cradle me in your embrace... lying atop your chest... Yet the morn finds me smelling you... ", "can never match your thrust in my soul... the ebb flows... ", "You will see that the next meeting is on June the 9th. Now I want to talk to your dad.\" She opened the door and led me outside while she invited my dad in. When my dad and professor got out of the room, they seemed oblivious to the previous tumult which I thought was heard by the entire hospital. ", "Feeling ? I blinked, \"Feeling like what?\" \"Feeling like you are feeling. How long have you been feeling like a female?\" She tapped the back of her pen on the paper which, I guessed, was a gesture to intensify her professionalism but ended up seeming as if she was being impatient with me.", "First and foremost, I need to have a business card. This is the classy part and all about the \"Here... take my card\" trivia. ", "How many men only fell for the aforementioned picture perfect image? Even sadder, how many of them were even aware of the fact that what they desired to possess was a reflection they were so determined to idolize? Whenever I handled the heart, it bled. The mirror continues to muse me. ", "The highway merges into the ocean, Which streams into the horizon. This sea-bearing symbol aids me in a water walk, Led by the trace of moonlight. There is a distant hymn in the air A Seraph flies past the sky Mistaken for a comet by the naked eye And amidst this cleaving halluscination... ", "So Ichoir was formed. I'm not even going into the painful discourse which lasted for weeks until we reached an agreement on the name. Mythology ran to aid. We took Icarus as the Muse, played with the name a little, came up with a derivative which was destined to be mispronounced by every single person who came across it written somewhere but still, we all loved it. Ironic enough, although we couldn't have foreseen it back then, the fate of Ichoir would be no different from the mythological figure it was inspired by. ", "\"How do you pee?\" \"I go to the bathroom, pull my...\" Anger rose in her voice, \"Do you stand or sit as you pee?\" \"Aaah, I sit\" I responded grinning sheepishly and quite satisfied to see her maddening.", "The Sagittarius infernoes freely in my veins. Being the natural vagabond she is, she does not listen to all my rational responses to her cravings and longings. She loathes the fact that I live with a lunatic family. ", "I was surprised ladies and gentlemen. Surprised that he muttered a sentence that was so familiar to me since I, myself, always think of those people when thunders break, winds howl, snowflakes fall. ", "Or has it not, really? I looked at that pale face and knew that he was not ready for that final stroke of the second. No matter what he says, no matter how much a parody he may seem to me, no matter how much I despised him when her mother started bitching behind me and he didn't oppose and stand up for his nephew, I knew he was not as ready as he had appeared. I knew that he was distressingly helpless against this Fate whose control he had lost so long ago that it was too hard for him to visualize what it was like before. ", "...what the hell are we gonna do for the next 3 months now that our most precious reserve is drained? Why can't I draw the blanket over my head and simply vanish? ", "Did you believe I shall break these wings for thee? Did you ready me for what I already foresee? ...or mayhaps you mistaken me for the spectres that cause you misanthrope... ", "Interesting. And here I was wondering why on earth I had started feeling irritated by his presence all of a sudden. Why, in 5 long years, had I never ever thought about accusing him of \"failing my trust in him\" but have been doing so now? However, it is very self-explanatory, is it not? My father has been very skillfully creating this outcome by simply thinking likewise and I was just the pawn on his chessboard. ", "\"So you were directed to us from Endocrinology, I see. It is usually the other way around....\" The female professor mumbled as she flipped the papers over, \"...Kleinefelter syndrome, genetic intersexuality...\"", "But do you have a stare spared or a song solely sung for me Deprived of ambiguity? If only you had. ", "Aura: Sure. See you then. Sol: Hi, dear! Aura: Oh...huh...ah...mmm... ", "Timeline: Present \"Well you promised me\", I said looking at him severely as I leaned on the wall sidways, left hip slightly edging outwards, \"So I don't want you to go.\" \"I was teasing you, beautiful\" he said struggling with the knot of his necktie, \"..and it's not the right time for that, yet.\" \"When will it be the right time , anyway?\" I muttered and arms crossed against my chest, pursed my lips, \"I should have known better; Enter the most quicksilver dad of all times.\"", "She just knows how to hit the bullseye of the leader in me. \"What is the Humanity's Team?\" one may ask. It can be described as an international movement currently parented by The Conversations with God Foundation but is planned to be a non-profit and separate organization by 2006. It is the actual response to the wonder, \"I have been following the Conversations with God series and they have changed my life. ", "Timeline: Present I am trying to pick up the answers to the questions: Why is it that whenever I find myself deeply involved in and dedicated to a project, I am always faced by egos of others?, what am I doing to wake up the beast in them? and how do I overcome this struggle of opposites through Love's path? ", "Here are the things my father said to me during the course of this conversation: \"Aura do you really believe that I have not tried? 5 years ago, I arranged meetings with the managers of the 10 topmost firms in this country and they all told me the same thing, \"Sorry, Mr. Mars. ", "It sure looks serene. I was going to reply to it properly but looks like Yahoo's compose section is having an anti-Aura day. Hopefully, it will be resolved tomorrow. ", "After all, these people tend to fart in your face as they pass you by and act like that's the most nonchalant thing in the universe. It wouldn't be an understatement if I claimed they are on the same socialization scale with an orangutan. When my dad and uncle left the table, I turned to my Granny and uttered, \"Well... ", "She said in a weary tone which implied everyone but me was aware of that. She, then, leaned over and whispered sternly as if she was passing over a precious family recipe with which I was to pamper my husband before passing it on to the next generation, \"Never the March rains, though. They aren't worth a dime... ", "Then, you cupped my cheeks in your withering, chemotherapied hands, looked in my eyes so deep that I still feel that final warmth you sealed into me even to this day. You did the only thing you could; Passed the final drops of life left in your veins onto me. Your last present to the being you created from your very own. ", "that being I call my shrine... in all his grandeur... ...entwined with another! ", "Everyone experiences his/her deepest beliefs about themselves. Now if I was somebody else, this probably would have made no sense yet these are my words my friends. ", "and that's not a sight for swollen eyes who had just been witnessing a dream sequence starring a really, really hot ex. So much breath control, so much painkillers and so much confusion wafted in the sickening, insalubrious air of the living room all throughout last night. Honestly, I really don't know how we would end up like, had my uncle's heart finally let go of its beating. Would my granny loose the plot? ", "you burn... my match... What shall it take for us to become a match... ", "Pretty Woman sessions... our walks on the beach, in the forest... our summer nights in the verandah... ", "Dismissing that question, he said, \"It always saddens me when you go.\" I turned around and rushed out. ", "I am quite grateful for the Past timeline of Phantasmemoria since it makes it easier for me to go through them once again and reconsider them. It is brutal. ", "Timeline: Past The silence after a funeral is the real killer. When the last one who feels for you steps out of the doorway, you are faced with the real silence as memories sneak in from the shadowy corners. There she was letting out a horrified gasp after I told her I didn't go to that Madonna concert with friends but all by myself. ", "Within one glance the following was hidden, \"Aura, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for not being a true uncle to you. I'm sorry for being broken. I'm sorry for not helping you but I know what you are going through. ", "... Our heartbeats synchronize against each other... we lie still in the kernel of shadows... ", "Here I am like a kid out of school. Holding hands with a god, I'm a fool !...", "I'm sorry for not being able to be of help for all this crap we are stuck in. I'm sorry to live in an altered reality.\" Then his stare weakened and my Granny gave a witchy shriek but that didn't stop us from entwining our fears and, to our surprise, finding a common denominator. He asked the unspoken \"What are we gonna do, Aura? ", "However, today, I know that such is the way of life. Who gives a damn about maturing their interaction skills on a personal basis when there are millions out there around the corner whose adrenaline are climaxed when they're faced with the slightest of opposition or something ever gets close to implying, \"Look you're wrong!\" We rarely train our psyche in a way to interpret \"Look you're wrong\" as \"The fact that you claim I'm wrong doesn't necessarily makes you right, either\". ", "These last two will be dealt with by the end of this month and the office should be up & running sometime late in June or early July. Then again, I certainly believe that we do manage swiftly. The more we talk about it, the clearer our strategy gets. ", "I was scared ladies and gentlemen. I was so full of pity for this huge form lying on the sofa, suffering from chest pains and breathing heavily that it scared me. I sat there, staring at and away from him as my granny's voice crescendoed and decrescendoed with panic. I, on the other hand, was unaware of a way to let him know that I felt for him. ", "It was and I am certain that it will be quite an experience to be in touch with him. However, he is quite dominant which is an adjective we extremely avoid while following the guidelines of both HT's Study and Emotional support groups. Having knowledge in abundance is of no importance to us (I, myself, have not read even 1/3 of the spiritual material presented to this world). On the contrary, we are inclined to \"grow together\", \"learn together\", hence, even if our group members have proficient knowledge in the topic at hand, we will not let any one reign the conversations/discussions. ", "The more we brainstorm about it, the more proficient we get as to how to \"sell the product\" at hand. While we were leaving the center, we even arranged having a stand next to Neale's where we will be distributing our brochures as Neale signs his book(s). The next appointment was with a spiritual with whom Sol had contacted early yesterday. It seems that this man already established a study group based on Tomorrow's God and has been running it for a while now. ", "the sea is taken aback... all there is lag in a hush... ...a shadowy pile against the grey of sand... a movement in black... ", "Nowadays, this phase I have been going through is making me face all these quite brutally. Because I choose it to be so. I have never been a woman who takes things swiftly (which is, yet another choice). ", "Timeline: Present As of today your author has turned a Team Leader of Ponderland's forming Humanity's Team. Solara had some stories to share with me, indeed. Especially her latest experiences at The Hague - International City of Peace truly captured my attention which, as you already know, was quite dissected yesterday. Then again, her contagious enthusiasm quickly washed my aforementioned indifference and I soon found myself in the heart of founding Ponderland's Humanity's Team alongside Sol (having a good night's sleep yesterday also helped a great deal). What can I say? ", "The unknown was infinite. What might seem like a little water drop by the sink to larger beings was a drowning bubble for it... or it could have fallen into the basin, carried away by the watercourse towards a fatal fall into the sewer through the cesspool... or.... ", "Either the rooms were soundproof or I was hallucinating and nothing had taken place because it was impossible not to be effected by the man's helpless screams. Parent and doctor shook hands before she threw one last shallow smile at me and returned to her office. I let myself led by my dad outside and only partially listened to whatever he was saying. ", "I thank you for opening a door without having any expectation from me to step inside but an anticipation instead for making me to smell that fragrance. I thank you for the comfort you present although you are miles and miles away. I thank you for not caring about how it would seem or sound to convey your thoughts, your most sacred sentiments and in doing so exceeding all the artificiality that \"man kind\" possesses. I thank you for dismissing all the \"what if\"s and overcoming self-restrictions. Thus, I thank you for making me see that there are still men out there who can depict themselves in a chivalrous, articulate manner without a second thought (Because on second thought comes the fear of making an ass of yourself!). ", "Certainly, you don't take it all as a travesty when your head is counted among those that are tilted. You are, after all, the jury; One of those dickheads who is to be the Azrael or Rafael of someone's hopes. Well... the problem was no matter how much an ego-boost the entire thing was to me and my friends, our scythes were rotten and halos looked cheesy. ", "This leads to separateness, for certain. This leads to break-ups. The prerequisite is to consciously accept that no thing or no one is my property . When I think out of the box, they are simply there to experience \"themselves\" via me and I attract them to my reality in order to experience \"myself\" via them. ", "She sighed lightly, \"Have you ever had sexual intercourse with a man before?\" \"No\", I said. \"No?\" , she asked apparently disbelieving, \"Not even snogging? Foreplay?\""], "blog_5_5": ["Not sure what I\u2019m doing today, probably a repeat of yesterday. Work on the proposal from home, dig bushes, paint furniture. ", "I\u2019m disappointed that I bought into this myth that you have to be thin for anything to matter. Therefore: I must work on being more fabulous NOW. ", "We don\u2019t get it, because Bucko gets lunch at that place all the time, which is why we figured it was safe. Don\u2019t know what happened \u2014 they changed their recipe suddenly; they make food differently at night; they used a pre-packaged sauce; it was an acccident (Whoops! I spilled this box of MSG into the stir fry. Oh well.). ", "Besides the bush digging, I also formatted the proposal for four hours, finished the piano bench, primed the windsor chair, and did two loads of laundry. I rule. AND as of this moment I\u2019m only at 754 calories, which means I have plenty available for dinner and still stay within goal. Rock rock rock!", "7:06 a.m. Saturday, Day 117. ", "I still feel I\u2019m circling on the edge of squirreliness this morning, so I must take care today to stay busy and stave off the gloom. I read the beginning of my journal yesterday, to reinspire myself, and the most obvious thing is that I was dealing with the diet/exercise \"one day at a time.\" At the most, one week at a time. ", "Also had just the one glass of wine. So it all went quite well. I wonder, will today be easier or harder? ", "The company has been sold twice, and while my job title was never taken away from me, it's never been exactly confirmed, either. When we were bought by a larger company, we (this particular office) went from being the corporate headquarters of a small-to-medium sized IT firm to a remote, unimportant satellite office of a large IT firm. Which then, as with fishies, was swallowed by a yet larger IT firm, who apparently are not even aware we exist. Well, this part is a tangent and has nothing to do with filling out the application, except to say that it's sometimes difficult to describe exactly what I do in my company, and where I do it. ", "LATER. 11:36 a.m. Stripped another two panels of wallpaper. There's probably only one or two more I can do without help. I don't think I can reach the ones in the shower, and the mirror will have to be moved. ", "Yesterday it helped to write in here every couple hours, so probably I'll be doing the same thing today. I know I will - I'm already writing nonsense just for the sake of writing. Not sure what else I'm doing today. ", "You can\u2019t bank those for tomorrow. You can\u2019t coast along on your previous commitment and success, which is what I have been doing. I have never been successful at losing weight before this, so I must have thought that I had broken through some sort of tangible metabolic barrier in the past few months, that once I had started the process, it would continue on its own momentum. Dammit, I hate it when I\u2019m wrong. ", "Need to get cracking on the cover for the proposal, write bills and balance checkbook, prime the new piano bench, and do another item toward getting the house done. Haven\u2019t decided which one, yet. But don\u2019t worry, I have a huge list to consult. One cup of zucchini has 29 calories. ", "Then I was afraid of what music to pick out, because I listen to a lot of Latin stuff, and I was afraid they\u2019d think I picked it on purpose in some sort of patronizing gesture. And I\u2019m afraid they\u2019ll think I\u2019m just sitting around twiddling my thumbs whenever I\u2019m not actually typing at the computer. Here\u2019s a random little tidbit. ", "Battery district * where all the giant houses are. There was obviously a party going on in one of these mansions \u2014 catering trucks, parking valets, security, lights in the garden. We could hear \"I\u2019m Your Boogie Man\" coming from somewhere inside, and stopped on the sidewalk to listen. ", "One of the things I really hate about trying to lose weight and not making it, is that I'm in a constant state of failure. Which is not good for the morale. That's one of the reasons I quit trying \u2014 it's better to be fat than to be suffering and struggling and failing like that. ", "6:10 a.m. Tuesday. Feeling pretty good today, although I woke up at 5:30 and couldn\u2019t get back to sleep. ", "I could feel worse. I can\u2019t pretend I feel great, not after four martinis, but it could be worse. Yesterday was rather high in the calories, due to martinis and also the pork rib. guys are doing an Immediate Challenge \u2014 to stay on program through the end of the month. ", "If anyone else is losing weight solely for their health, I applaud you and you're my hero, but I cannot deny that a LARGE part of my motivation is to look better. So, yeah, I like it when I get compliments from men. So sue me.", "Well, the perfect corollary to what my god-like older brother did, I thought. Only I didn\u2019t get the same reaction at school. I got a lot of snickers and weird comments from the adults that I didn\u2019t quite understand, sort of implying that I was one to \"keep an eye on,\" and so forth. ", "7:34 a.m. Friday, Day 109. I\u2019m feeling rather hideous this morning. Physically, anyway. ", "Okay. So Monday morning I emailed him and said \"Let me know if/when you need me to come in and work on those drawings.\" Never heard from him. No email reply, no voice message, and he's not answering his phone. From which I deduce he probably took a vacation day Monday. ", "I can\u2019t brag; it\u2019s mostly because I missed lunch, and that\u2019s not something I want to make a habit of. Other good news today \u2014 tried on the Measurement Shorts, and I think I see some progress. They were almost wearable. ", "And THEN I realized I had only eaten one small brownie, that there was a second brownie in the fridge that I didn\u2019t touch, and I was still under my goal calories, so no need for panic. But it was a fun little drama for a couple minutes. See, this is what I hate about dieting. ", "I am sick unto death of hearing people end a sentence with \"so....\" instead of making the effort to put their thoughts into words. ", "Tuesday, Day Two. 7:29 a.m. Just finished my half can of soup for breakfast. Man, I woke up hungry! ", "Damn damn damn. Both of us woke up groggy and stupid, with swollen eyes and puffy faces. MSG. ", "Anyway, it looks great. I painted the same color, but in flat instead of eggshell, and it\u2019s a big improvement. I love the way flat paint looks. ", "Sadly, they are not devoid of calories and fat. Fortunately I noticed what I was doing and stopped at a reasonable quantity. It\u2019s been recommended, many times, that one should not do anything else while eating \u2014 no TV, no reading \u2014 and I see the value of that. I\u2019m at 511 calories right now, with dinner still to go. We\u2019re having salmon (I forgot it was in the fridge, and it needs to be eaten today, so much for all-veg day) but I will also make a zucchini and tofu stir fry. ", "And you know what else? I know they\u2019re talking about me, because I heard the word \"computer.\" I imagine the conversation to be as follows: Painter 1: Do you think that fat gringo woman would have sex with us? Painter 2: Probably. ", "I\u2019m interested in seeing Troy. I\u2019ve only seen a few brief commercials for it, and I haven\u2019t been able to tell who is cast in what part. I\u2019m really interested to know who Brad Pitt is playing. ", "7:40 a.m. Wednesday, Day 121. Slept late today, I must have been making up for Monday night and recuperating from all that bush digging. ", "I don\u2019t want to flagellate myself (ooh!) but I do need to be a little stern. I am eating too much and not exercising enough, and I need to quit it and get back \"on program.\" Enough\u2019s enough. ", "I was afraid I\u2019d get a ton of work today and have to make the difficult choice between getting paid and going to the beach. I have a little bit of a headache, not surprising. Also, after I went on and on yesterday about eating soup for breakfast for four months, today I broke the pattern and had a leftover chicken breast and a banana. ", "If you read my Favorite Movie list, you know I\u2019ve become a Pitt fan recently, and also I love the Iliad. He\u2019s such a big star you\u2019d figure he\u2019s playing Achilles, but I just don\u2019t see that. Achilles is so callow sometimes, and Pitt is too mature for that part. By the same token, I can\u2019t see him playing Paris. Orlando Bloom would be perfect for Paris. ", "I\u2019m transferring the last bit of savings into checking to pay for this month. Second shock: when I tried to transfer funds by phone, the system did not recognize that I have a savings account. ", "She was quite the hot stuff, back then. So I, a girl in junior high, immediately decided to emulate my cool brother, and drew (drawed?) a big old picture of the Camel Man. Or possibly another brand of cigarettes, I don\u2019t remember. But if you lived in the seventies, you\u2019ll remember this guy. Dark hair, moustache, very handsome and manly of course, wearing a denim shirt opened at the throat. ", "Here is an email this morning from Warren: \"...There will be some slippage on the schedule, but we are continuing to push forward... for planning purposes, why don't you plan on going into heavy rotation next Monday. I will probably have some resumes and corporate references to you by mid week this week. By the way, we are looking seriously at another proposal... ", "Fast forward to August, and I\u2019m DREAMING of a snowstorm. No, I just can\u2019t be satisfied. 4:00 p.m. My god, can that place get any stupider? ", "I\u2019ll bet they were both books, too, and I\u2019m going to look for them. Hopefully will have the same names... And on a related thought, Dennis Haysbert is one of my favorite actors, and I really don\u2019t think he should be doing television commercials, especially for Allstate, for crying out loud. ", "That no one was staring at me in disgust. 3:13 p.m. ", "My total yesterday isn\u2019t bad (1564), but it sure would have been better without the brownie. I did a little shopping yesterday and bought stuff for dinner at Daisy\u2019s: salad, asparagus, sweet potatoes, and a brownie each for dessert. ", "I bought an issue of Shape magazine, and threw it away within 2 hours. First of all, the \"articles\" are nothing but prompts to buy products. Secondly, there\u2019s nothing useful in the entire publication. Next to no information. ", "Nyaah nyaah nyahh.\" And if you know the personalities involved, you\u2019d realize how insane it is for this low-level project manager to give orders to this high-level VP. ", "\"So\" is just as semantically null a term as \"you know,\" and we must all work together to wipe it out. Girls Gone Wild, and other similar flashing of the tits for the camera. This is going to require its own separate long-winded essay.", "Thirdly, their photography is not consistent with the avowed mission of the magazine. I do NOT want to see underweight-by-30-pounds fashion models pretending to lift weights with little stick arms that don\u2019t have enough muscle in them to lift a fork to their mouths. Another: maybe I should buy some nice workout clothes instead of the horrible oversized rags I wear now. ", "Feeling pretty good this morning. I took half an actifed last night, so I slept like a frog. Woke up to pee maybe once. My plan is to do TotalGym this morning. ", "I'm reasonably okay today. Not chipper, not crappy. Slept okay, but with a disturbing dream in which I killed some people who had broken into the house. I\u2019m trying to figure out the symbology of that one, in light of how depressed I was yesterday, and all I can come up with is feeling beleaguered. ", "Had a WEE bit too much wine last night, so I fell asleep very early, then of course woke up at 2 a.m. Perfect Day story. Has anyone else seen that movie? The IMDB review by \"Alex V\" is spot on. ", "Me and the ciggies, together at last. Hey, maybe that's why this time I will be able to lose weight. Maybe this is finally the \"right\" time. With the smoking, I had to try several times, and somehow finally all the right things came together at once. ", "I\u2019ve had enough of sitting at the computer. I got a base coat on the windsor chair, and I think I\u2019ve decided on painting a seashell on the seat, and then some kind of funky-cute pink details on the rest. It\u2019s hard for me to paint \"cute,\" because I hate whimsy, but I don\u2019t think this will be putrid. I hope. Marella is sending in our booth fee and application today, so it\u2019s definite. ", "The division I used to work for was combined with other divisions and renamed. So there is absolutely no reasonable point of reference I can give my prospective employers to check up anything about me. I figured the best I could do is give them the HR department of the corporate headquarters, in D.C. So I went to the website of this very large, multinational IT company, and from there spent over an hour trying to find a phone number, ANY phone number, for this company. ", "You have to plan and carry out the plan. Like making sure to shop, preparing the good food, planning ahead for emergencies, avoiding the dangerous situations. ", "But when I talked to her on the phone last night, she wants to go OUT tonight. Not cook at home. So there I was stuck with two brownies in the house. So I ate half of one. ", "Some homemade burritos for Bucko (I don\u2019t eat them because I can\u2019t find low-fat tortillas and so the calories are too high). And for dinner we\u2019ll either go to a seafood restaurant or buy fresh from the market. I think I\u2019ll survive. ", "We were more into the Vietnamese, Cambodians, and Indians. Also Native Americans and sometimes Africans. TiVo. ", "Or better yet, I\u2019ll take the challenge, but I won\u2019t tell anyone. That\u2019s it. Sorry guys, I want to join in, but my brain has been too fragile lately. I know I\u2019m letting myself off the hook. ", "In other work news, when I walked into the conference room of three men, I received compliments on my appearance (along the lines of \"you look nice today\" not \"have you lost weight?\" No, really I'm not so pathetic that I need that kind of reassurance, but it was a notable event to me. ", "Yeah, I know, poor me, I\u2019m the only one to suffer so. Well, just because it\u2019s a mundane and unavoidable part of life doesn\u2019t mean I\u2019m not going to complain about it. Anyway, I\u2019ve been kind of moody and of exceptionally low self-esteem today, even for me. ", "That\u2019s what ALL the cool guys wore, and most of the cool girls, only instead of flannel they wore a turtle-neck sweater with a thin gold chain around their necks. So when I got to high school, I was determined that FOR ONCE in my life I would be cool, I wouldn\u2019t be the awkward, weird geek. I insisted to my parents that I must have a down vest. They didn\u2019t want to fulfill this request, because the vests are kinda expensive. ", "It's frightening how divided my own brain can be, and how many conflicting attitudes and opinions I hold concurrently. One level will be doing X while another level will try to undermine X. And probably several more levels doing incompatible things. ", "My last couple hours of sleep were choppy, but I went to bed so early I\u2019m sure I got at least eight hours. Took half an actifed to counter the red wine, and I didn\u2019t drink enough water to counteract them both. Other than that, feeling good, and I\u2019m pleased with the amount I drank for Drinking Night. My new plan is to buy only red wine, and buy only enough for the one drinking night. If I don\u2019t have it around the house, I won\u2019t drink it. ", "And it\u2019s not dissolving well in my coffee. Also, a few days ago I tried to put it in the CoW, and it turned into a gelatinous mess. So I think we\u2019ll have to go back to Benefiber, even with the cost. I think I will just make it under goal this week (oppw) if I eat lightly today. ", "And oh it was so boring. Nothing good on TV, and I don't have any movies to watch. ", "I have a new favorite food. Pompeian brand Fire Roasted Red Peppers. $1.69 for a 12 ounce jar. That\u2019s a bargain! Also, check out the ingredients: roasted peppers, water, salt, and citric acid. ", "A year ago I wanted to lose weight for the vacation, and I DIDN\u2019T, and so of course I am kicking myself for not finding this motivation a year ago when I really needed it. But what the hell - what\u2019s one vacation compared to the whole rest of my life? ", "This way, I get to feel positive and motivated and successful. The calculator says I lost weight. Also, I want to point out that raw tuna is an excellent value, calorie-wise. A good weekend all around, really. ", "6:49 a.m. Wednesday, Day 107. ", "due on May 10. Do you think you could support us on that one if we go for it?\"", "Also I\u2019m making a giant salad, and I\u2019ll bring it in a cooler so it doesn\u2019t get all wilty, and I can eat it whenever, and anyone else can join in. I\u2019m bringing soup for my breakfast, and also a couple cans of tuna and salmon. ", "6:37 a.m. Thursday, Day 122. Damn that restaurant! ", "Kind of a musty flavor, not appetizing. Also not enough solid ingredients, just a few bits of potato and carrot. I will be needing a snack later this morning. ", "7:05 a.m. Wednesday. Feeling pretty good today. ", "Did a little gardening. Nothing all that strenuous, but I\u2019m going to give myself 100 calories. ", "Little, easily-managed, bite-sized goals. Yes. Well. Maybe later. ", "7:11 a.m. Thursday, Day 108. Feeling remarkably good this morning, considering my typical night. ", "I have all sorts of awkward, kludged-together extensions on most of my necklai, so they can fit around my neck, and have recently discovered that I can, in many cases, remove them. Yesterday I just couldn\u2019t stand to glide or SensibleGym or bellydance, so I put on my brand new Best of KC and the Sunshine Band, and danced around the house to almost the whole thing (40 minutes worth). According to the calorie calculator I use, that\u2019s 423 calories! Heck, that almost balances out the martinis. ", "It\u2019s hard work for me, maybe not for someone else. Here\u2019s some fun news. My new jeans? ", "How can my bank and my new photo library go belly-up at the same time? 9:18 a.m. Okay, got through to the bank, and they do think I have a savings account. An ever-dwindling account Whew! ", "No actifed, no melatonin. Just a chocolate brownie right before bedtime. ", "Also need to work on the candle holder. And the giant list of things to do around the house in order to sell it. ", "The Orifice): my level of stress and unhappiness caused both chemical and emotional conditions that prevented it. So now I\u2019m in another, albeit lesser, period of anxiety, and I\u2019m finding it difficult to stick with a rigorous, self-imposed regimen of hard work. ", "I'm assuming they'll close down the office after New Year's. LATER. 10:09 a.m. Just finished an HOUR of exercise. ", "Not much, but it will help with the metabolism. I rule. ", "I\u2019ll admit the first few seasons of \"The Real World\" were entertaining, in a horrible sort of way, but enough\u2019s enough. These programs are so devoid of content they\u2019ve resorted to minutes of ominous-sounding music with out-of-context shots of silent people gazing thoughtfully/recklessly/intrepidly/blankly/balefully at what is probably a small bug walking up the wall. Also, I have never heard such inarticulate human speech since The Planet of the Apes. ", "I\u2019m glad I don\u2019t really have a deadline for this weight loss. Because it\u2019s not going to end. I guess I kind of have known that all along, and definitely realized it when embarking on this particular effort. ", "The squirrels, of course, are always here, but the migratory birds have started showing up. The hummingbird came three days ago. Usually they show up on May 1, but there\u2019s always an outrider who arrives a couple weeks ahead of that. To set up camp? ", "The water was too cold to swim, but we were happy to sit on our chairs, drink, read, and watch the waves. I didn\u2019t track my food AT ALL. It was as though the entire concept just flew out of my brain as soon as I got in the car. ", "I know it's weird to be congratulating myself for a mere hour-and-a-half without eating, but whenever I try to diet, I immediately become obsessed with food. I try to find a lot of no-cal food so I can eat constantly. Which doesn't work, because I'm still thinking about food and eating it, which doesn't break the habit or pattern or whatever it is. ", "Now I am finishing up my work emailing before vacation, trying to do my timesheet, etc. My hip is still bothering me. I\u2019m not happy about that, because it hurts when I walk, and I want to do a lot of walking on vacation. I think the bellydancing may have caused the strain, and then the gliding is exacerbating it. So perhaps it\u2019s a good thing that I\u2019ll be away from the glider for a couple weeks. ", "It's not that the last time was so different from the other times, just that I had all the tools together at one time. So maybe this will be like that. That would be so nice. ", "The floor is DISGUSTING. Our vacuum cleaner is dying a slow death, so I haven\u2019t been using it much. ", "That will give me something to look forward to. I hope to do some more work on the candle holder today. I'm not entirely happy with the color of the base coat, possibly because I can't quite decide what color I want it to be, so it's a bit of a hodgepodge. My plan today is to decide whether to go more yellow-ochre or more burnt sienna, and then mix up a spit coat of the chosen hue (haven't decided whether glaze or polyurethane) and give it several light coats to solidify the color and add some depth. ", "Your car is covered every day, and you\u2019ll need to wash it a couple times a week if you want to see out the windshield. Everything looks dull and dusty. ", "As I eventually discovered, initially I was losing MORE weight than what my calculations showed. However, the loss has stopped, or slowed down so much as to be imperceptible, so I\u2019m not confident that I really did lose any this week. I might need another week or so On Plan for it to kick in. But, my method is to use a hypothetical universe, and I\u2019m sticking with it. ", "So no updates until Monday or maybe Tuesday. ", "Probably I should paint some more sample boards. I just need to keep busy. ", "I was at the end of my rope with that application (more later), the weather was depressing as hell, and I was getting cranky, so I asked Bucko to pick up dinner on the way home. Usually that means a Wendy's salad for me, but I wanted something warm, so I got a sub AND a small clam chowder. So there is no denying I was comforting myself with food. ", "That's fantastic for me. I had an apple, which was delicious, hence the name. ", "That helps. I made the most delicious stir-fry on Wednesday, did I rave about it yet? ", "More random thoughts: whenever I am \"done\" with losing weight, I will have to maintain it. I think I need to work exercise into my life in a more natural way. And here\u2019s another thing. ", "And it was so good, I ate the other half. Then I felt like an eating disordered freak on a giant binge, mindlessly putting food into my mouth until finally my stomach could handle no more (Mr. Creosote, anyone?). ", "My high end is 1800 calories, and right now I\u2019m at 912. ", "Because I am far too lazy and too self-conscious to go buy it. Therefore, this way I am not relying on willpower, I\u2019m setting up an environment where I can\u2019t drink. I\u2019m having a glass of water right now, with my coffee. ", "I\u2019d typecast myself into the wrong clique, and gotten a reputation as a poser, someone who jumped from nerd to cowboy to freak and back again, so I wasn\u2019t liked by any of the groups. Irony, anyone? ", "I had no idea American women were so unattractive. And so obviously whorish and lazy. ", "Excellent (Mr. Burns impression). Cooking dinner now \u2014 baked chicken legs, baked sweet potato, and sauteed green beans. Very light on the oil with the green beans \u2014 maybe a teaspoon in the whole pan. ", "When they start gaining a few pounds around the holidays, they cut down on the desserts and snacking for a few months and lose some weight. There's only two extremes of the spectrum who eat healthy food and exercise daily: athletes and fat people. LATER. 12:46 p.m. Damn. ", "Otherwise okay. But the dreams. Gah. ", "Brief version: Dominick Dunne was on his way to prison for refusing to reveal a source on the stand, and I ran into him in the airport (?) as he said his farewells to family and friends. I rushed up to him and gushed all over in a fan-like way, and instead of being repulsed, he immediately loved me and promised to write to me from jail. ", "7:08 a.m. Monday, Day 112. Here is what I dreamed last night: I dreamed I was in art school, and the classes sucked and the tuition was high, and we were obviously getting massively ripped off by the school. ", "Which right now is 7 days. I should do this too. I need a small goal, like I was writing about yesterday. ", "So here\u2019s my middle-of-the-road, no-real-decision plan: today I will get everything filled out, printed out, ready to go. I will put it in a nice clean folder by the computer. As soon as the schedule at The Orifice begins to go awry, I\u2019ll shove it in the fax machine and hit Send. ", "So moving on from the Chinese food... talked to my brother a few days ago. He cracks me up. He\u2019s probably the smartest person I\u2019ve ever met, and his conversation is... eclectic. ", "MUCH higher than my typical lunch, but on the other hand, as a result I haven\u2019t snacked all afternoon. So it\u2019s a tradeoff, my total for the day should be within goal. It\u2019s actually hot today; I haven\u2019t seen the weather but I\u2019m going to guess in the mid 80s. ", "8:20 a.m. Sunday, Day 118. Feeling okay, slept okay, somewhat better mood. ", "But I wore it. Oh yes, I was desperate. ", "But I have a nice healthy dinner planned, of more chicken, that lovely eggplant ratatouille or whatever it\u2019s called, and broccoli. 5:37 Got another 10 minutes gliding in. ", "Not quite enough sleep, I woke up at 5:30, but I\u2019m doing okay. Dreams? Yes. ", "They're about as many calories as water, so I'm not concerned with how many I eat, but I don't really have any desire to eat a lot of celery anyway. I'm going to strip some more wallpaper, wait for the hvac guy to show up, and I don't know what else. Maybe pack some stuff. ", "It's so much like quitting smoking. I'm not sure when I REALLY committed to doing it \u2014 certainly not at the beginning. Sure, one part of me wanted to quit, but another part didn't, in a big way. For a lot of the time, I felt like I was just going through the motions, and waiting for this little charade to end so I could smoke again. ", "I grabbed a pencil and wrote down the topics he covered in a 20 minute phone call, although I gave up halfway through. Each one followed logically from the previous, although now I can\u2019t see some of the connections. It's not wild-eyed rambling, though, this was all intelligent, meaningful conversation. ", "It was only after the vest incident that I gave up and became self-righteously and virulently an outsider and a bad kid. I think I decided that I was helpless to control any part of my life, in a world where such a tiny detail could have such ultimate, Kafka-esque result (please see the movie \"Brazil\" for perfect analogy to this story). And when you feel helpless, or scared, you become angry. ", "Somehow my whining prevailed, and they bought me a poly-fiber filled vest from Sears. Instead of the down vest from North Face. ", "And yet, I got a lot of stuff accomplished, which I don\u2019t usually do when I\u2019m mopey. I worked 3 or 4 hours on real work, for which I will get paid, I cleaned and primed that new piano bench, gave it a first coat, and I\u2019ve eaten nothing but vegetables all day. It\u2019s 5:30 and I\u2019ve had 430 calories so far. ", "Never copy what your cool older brother does. Like all the kids in my family, my brother was a talented artist. In high school, he did a lot of detailed pencil drawings, mostly copies of album covers and pages from Sports Illustrated. ", "He\u2019s sort of a weiner. I\u2019m voting for Hector. ", "We\u2019re in the middle of the tree pollen season, where the pine trees shed a fine, greenish powder all over everything, every day, for about three weeks. It is absolute hell for people with allergies, and a great annoyance otherwise. The temperature is so nice, it\u2019s not humid yet, it\u2019s sometimes breezy, everything is growing and it smells wonderful, but you can\u2019t keep the windows open. ", "6:45 a.m. Tuesday, Day 120. Feeling quite chipper this morning. ", "So I know I should be impressed with my initiative and fortitude, but they ain\u2019t paying the bills. However, TOMORROW is drinking night, and you bet your ass I\u2019m having martinis! Tomorrow will be better. ", "Yeah, I\u2019m trying to kill him). Have another bunch of things on my list today. ", "I can\u2019t tolerate any deprivation, or even moderation. When I\u2019m not feeling this way, I realize that if this particular meal isn\u2019t 100 percent fulfilling and filling, so what, there\u2019s another one coming up in a few hours. When I\u2019m in this panic state, I can\u2019t see that, I can\u2019t wait for another four hours. ", "I\u2019m most of the way done, now it\u2019s just the trim and redoing the grout. Heh, \"just.\" That will take as long as the walls, since the trim is filthy and I\u2019ll need to clean that and the floor first. Also trying to clean our filthy upstairs shower, on and off for a couple days. Haven\u2019t found anything that will make the floor white again, not even straight bleach. ", "Also, TWO male cardinals have appeared at once. Again with the territorial wars, because when the dust settles we\u2019ll have only one in our yard. The women haven\u2019t arrived yet. ", "The food becomes the only thing that matters, and nothing else can distract me. Where is this coming from? It reminds me of once (at band camp), a friend\u2019s therapist said that when people become stressed, they develop \"tunnel vision,\" their peripheral vision actually shuts down. It\u2019s a coping mechanism, to cut down on the amount of distraction until they have dealt with the crisis at hand. ", "Drinking my seltzer water, and then perhaps I'll have cherry tomatoes later for my afternoon snack. Right now I'm going to paint some more sample boards, and then perhaps more wallpaper. ", "2:20 p.m. I just took a break from formatting the proposal and laid in the sun in my backyard for 30 minutes. I know, that\u2019s so unlike me! ", "The annoying thing is, I haven't exactly gone OFF program, I\u2019m just not hitting it quite hard enough. I\u2019m not having eating binges, I haven\u2019t quit exercising, I still THINK I\u2019m on a program, but I\u2019ve become too lax, and I\u2019m not losing weight anymore. I\u2019m just not doing quite enough: like, I\u2019m fifteen minutes short of exercising enough, or eating just 120 calories too many. ", "Or will be soon. Bucko is bringing home Chinese food for dinner, so this won\u2019t be a low calorie day for me, but I\u2019ll try to come in at least within goal. I think I can make that. ", "No, I changed my mind. I AM so pathetic that I need that kind of thing. ", "It isn't. Normal people eat whatever they want and watch TV all day. ", "It occurs to me that this isn't too difficult when I have good food in the house and the time/desire to prepare it. When it will be hard is being faced with fast food or grazing on whatever crap is easy to eat. The smart thing to do on days like that would be to have soup for dinner, or a tuna sandwich, but I think it will be too frustrating \u2014 food is such a reward, I won't be happy with a crappy dinner. Perhaps I'd better make something yummy that I can keep in the freezer for just such an event. I can see it is very important to make your lifestyle support the diet. ", "They\u2019re very nice guys and everything, one of them speaks English, but it\u2019s kind of weird having them around. They\u2019re painting right outside the office, in the foyer, so I can\u2019t just come and go at will without interrupting them. I felt a little weird about sitting in full sight in the kitchen eating lunch, too, so I just made a quickie salad of leftover tuna and tomato. ", "Apparently for me it\u2019s important to take on challenges in little pieces; I don\u2019t want to see a huge, gray, endless mountain of effort ahead of me (no, really?). If I think of this as a one-week effort, then my brain will make a little contest of it, get psyched into trying to see how well I can eat, how much water I can drink, how many hours I can exercise. If I consider it as a one-year-plus-forever project, then my brain tries to find ways to cheat and lie. Because it seems like a prison sentence, and my brain is very sensibly trying to escape. ", "2:20 p.m. And PhotoIsland is working now too. Tahiti trip, if anyone is interested. ", "Then I sauteed it at medium-high temperature, with soy sauce and a dash of sesame oil. I had leftovers of that for lunch yesterday, and green beans for an afternoon snack. Hence the low calories. ", "There was always at least one happy ending to be discovered. Did you know that a person who has the condition anorexia nervosa is described as \"anorectic,\" not \"anorexic.\" Well, I know it. Now you do too. Futhermore, \"anorexia\" means loss of appetite. ", "Or maybe just blow jobs. Painter 1: Yeah. Don\u2019t you think she\u2019s the ugliest, fattest, most repulsive woman you\u2019ve ever met? Painter 2: Absolutely. ", "You know, I couldn\u2019t possibly eat more than two cups of zucchini. 58 calories=full stomach. That\u2019s a good deal. ", "So I tried to lead a student revolt, get the administrators to concede to our demands, but I was having a hell of a time organizing anyone, because we were Weeble-type people, about three feet tall, and also we were filled with straw and damp lawn clippings inside. So the evil school administration was having NO problem slicing us down, literally. ", "Will hold out until 3:30, then have cherry tomatoes. 5:19 p.m. All going well. ", "That\u2019s not a good sign... I miss Daisy. ", "Or, let me rephrase that: can Crazy Hair get any stupider? One of them is the VP of a large division (not ours), and he is the intended target of the memo. The main message is: \"Don\u2019t use this printer, use that printer. ", "You\u2019re simply not allowed to step outside certain boundaries, and if you do, you\u2019ll suffer for it. In retrospect, I wonder why I couldn\u2019t observe that the vest was sartorially incorrect for myself. But I guess that\u2019s the very quality that made me not a popular kid \u2014 I couldn\u2019t figure out what to do to fit in. Because believe me, I wanted to. I wanted to be the biggest conformist on the planet, but I could never seem to get it right. ", "Menelaus? Nah. ", "I didn\u2019t want to open a can of soup and then have the second half sitting in the frig until Monday morning. It\u2019s not like it would actually go bad, but I can\u2019t see it improving, either. I tried to buy a bunch of food to bring with us; since we stay with our friends at their house I feel obligated to chip in more than the usual amount with food. ", "I don\u2019t usually start until after breakfast, but I feel quite dehydrated. I\u2019m adjusting my estimates for the coffee with Benefiber, because I\u2019m not putting an entire tablespoon in. Maybe two-thirds that. ", "I try to fob them off as politely as possible, but I have become very firm about it, and not so concerned any more about whether it hurts anyone's feelings. I've written so much today, I'm going to post now. Maybe that will shut me up.", "I\u2019m going to drink all my water. I\u2019m going to get a bunch of stuff crossed off the To Do list. And probably monkeys will fly out my butt. It very suddenly turned into Spring here. ", "For some reason I have to keep relearning two of the basics of weight loss: 1) drink a LOT of water, 2) make sure you have good food in the house and with you out of the house, and the corollary to #2, make sure you don\u2019t have BAD food in the house, because you WILL eat it. A lot to do today, and not sure whether I\u2019m going to The Orifice. ", "Also Daisy was there, and he totally ignored her. It is unkind of me to be catty and jealous, but in my dream I was all \"Ha ha, see, I\u2019m WAY hotter than you,\" which is significant because in real life Daisy is not only incredibly beautiful but has actually met Dominick Dunne. So I managed 1224 calories yesterday. ", "Maybe I'd better start taping something every day. The Daily Show would be good, because I rarely stay up late enough to watch it. Now I'm drinking my tomato juice and having three little celery sticks. ", "And just now I distinctly heard one of them say \"Paraguay.\" I can't even imagine what they are saying about me that concerns Paraguay, but I'll bet there's a brothel and a donkey involved. A good post about getting fat: http://skinnydaily.blogspot.com/2003_11_01_skinnydaily_archive.html 2:48 p.m. ", "Denise, Yvonne, and Mo are having a three-sided discussion about \"why do we go off plan when it feels so much better to be on plan,\" and I think this is giving me an insight about that particular question, at least in the way it works for me. The equation is not \"go off plan = feel bad,\" it\u2019s really \"feel bad = go off plan.\"", "I know I won\u2019t have a low-cal day today, but I\u2019m not planning on a huge overage, either. I want to leave room for the martinis, so it\u2019s salad for me for the rest of the day. Isn\u2019t that disordered, to cut out food in order to drink? ", "Holy cow! Of course the wine will add to that considerably. ", "And if you could hire a major band from the 70s to play at your party, who would you want? *I have no idea who the people are who took these pictures, I just Googled until I found some nice shots. I did NOT fax in my application. Partly because I am scared and skittish, partly because it looks like I have some hours at my \"real\" job this week and next. ", "Fortunately, the concept of dieting didn\u2019t entirely fly out; I ate as well as I could in the circumstances. So as in Tahiti, I\u2019m using a high guesstimate for those two days, which has me ending the week at slightly over goal, meaning I didn\u2019t lose any weight but didn\u2019t gain any either. ", "Which also makes me feel like a big dumb-ass, to go through 95% of the effort, and not be able to focus enough to come up with the other measly 5% needed. Today I\u2019m going to read the beginning of my journal, and try to recapture whatever emotions or thoughts that enabled me to start this program. All of a sudden those 12-Step programs are making sense to me, I finally understand that one-day-a-time philosophy. Not only that you have to deal with your life in manageable, bite-sized chunks, but that each day requires its own commitment, its own re-evaluation and re-dedication to your cause. ", "Blogs, for starters. Anime. Japanimation. Other Japanese cultural things like Hello Kitty. Not that I have anything against the Japanese, and certainly I appreciate their expertise in the delicious raw fish with rice department, but my generation had no particular interest in Japan. ", "And that\u2019s how my life alternates, Day 1 / Day 2 / Day 1 / Day 2, on into infinity. A largish day yesterday, calorie-wise (1900), which is 102 calories over my limit. It was a three-martini day, because of going out with Daisy, who wisely had two Bloody Marys, not three. ", "I mean, not the ONLY thing I hate about dieting. I hate obssessing about food, about every bite, counting up my calories and deciding if I\u2019m \"allowed\" to have this. You can see mine is very diet-and-fitness oriented, because that's my mindset when I wrote it. ", "You kids have just got to stop watching so much television. It\u2019s not good for you. X-boxes, iPods, and other things with a \"single-letter-then-a-word\" name. ", "Last week I got a coupon at the grocery store for a free package of Brown \u2019n Serve rolls. I don\u2019t eat white bread these days, but I thought since it\u2019s free, I might as well get it and feed it to the squirrels. We have several squirrels in our backyard, and I feed them with leftover bread or crackers. ", "I'm paid hourly. Hourly, people. So I really don't want to stand here and chat with you for an hour, and you for half an hour, and YOU for 90 minutes, because I can't charge for any of that, and I've just spent three UNPAID hours in a place I hate. ", "First day of Week Ten. Wow! ", "I don\u2019t usually write that much online about what I\u2019m eating, although offline I record every bite. At the beginning of this weight loss adventure, I discovered that I absolutely MUST have the most delicious food I can manage (which mostly means \"can afford\"), so that I don\u2019t feel deprived. There\u2019s no way I would survive on the typical bland diet. You know, half a grapefruit for breakfast, 3 ounces broiled chicken for lunch. ", "Neither one is evident yet, but I can\u2019t wait to see how this pans out. It\u2019s sort of the avian version of Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice. ", "12:56 p.m. Well, it\u2019s been quite a nice day so far. ", "It FEELS awful, but it looks great, and how often do you touch the walls, anyway? Feeling good this morning. Another decent night of sleep. Made Bucko breakfast (CoW, three eggs, and the last porkchop. ", "The size 24s? Starting to fall off. Yep. Daisy is planning to call me at 4:00. ", "Or at least, I do. Has anyone seen \"Romy and Michelle\u2019s High School Reunion\"? ", "The most famous piece he did was a copy of the Olivia Newton John album, where she is wearing a denim shirt opened at the throat. Everyone thought it was wonderful (except my parents, who never noticed anything we did), and he got a lot of attention for it at school, partly because of his drawing ability and partly because of the subject matter. ", "Since they don\u2019t have any crosses. 1:43 p.m. I\u2019m trying to be really active today and drink a lot of water to flush out the MSG as quickly as possible. ", "I\u2019m using about a quarter or a third of a jar at a time. These things are perfect in a salad or diced up in a rice dish. They\u2019re not hot; for some reason I read the \"Fire\" part of the label as meaning spicy. ", "I really want to be able to do this for a week, and I so do not want to \"cheat\" and rationalize it to myself. I want to really be able to do this. So I have to totally buy into it. I can't have a little part of my brain saying \"you don't really want to do this\" or \"you can't do it so quit now.\"", "That's typical of the way things have been going there, and why I've somehow let three months skip along before I suddenly realized I wasn't getting paid anything. Friday he emailed me and said something not-quite-clear, like \"I'm going to have drawings for you I need Monday.\" So I wrote back and asked \"Do you have them ready for me now, or you will have them for me on Monday?\" He wrote back a one-word reply: \"Monday.\"", "Which is good, because I\u2019m about to have a whopping big pork rib for dinner. Also, managed to avoid buying or drinking any alcohol. I was on the verge \u2014 like, putting my shoes on and grabbing my car keys \u2014 to go get a bottle of vodka and some vermouth, and have a delicious icy cold martini or two, as some sort of salve for the wounds of the day (that sounded kind of literary and cool) but stopped myself short. Partly because I\u2019m trying to drink less, mostly because I didn\u2019t want to screw up my great calories today. ", "Then I have my haircut at 10:00, so I need a quick workout. This afternoon perhaps I\u2019ll be able to work in some gliding \u2014 I\u2019ll see how my hip feels. I\u2019m almost caught up with the archived Skinny Daily Post entries, I need to find something else with hundreds of archived entries I can read from the beginning! Here\u2019s something I want to say about losing weight: I am glad I\u2019m doing it, and I really want it. BUT I am angry with myself for not being everything I could be while still fat. ", "*My brother is a plumber, and believe me he contradicts every stereotype of a plumber you\u2019ve ever had. **Why don\u2019t vampires just attack Jewish people. ", "The problem is, I just can\u2019t find anything at the supermarket that\u2019s both convenient and healthy (and also affordable and palatable). It would be easiest to get a bunch of chips, pretzels, frozen pizza, and cookies and that crap, but no way am I eating it, and I don\u2019t want to risk having it around. So I compromised with ONE bag of chips, of a kind that I don\u2019t like so I won\u2019t be too tempted, a couple packages of \"trail mix\" type snackies (dried fruit, nuts, some crackers), a bunch of bananas, apples, 2 canteloupes, and 24 bottles of beer. Which I will drink probably 4 of. ", "Celery, carrots, onions, garlic, zucchini, mushrooms, and tofu, spiced with curry powder, thyme, allspice, and ginger. This is only the second time I\u2019ve cooked tofu, and it came out well. I pressed it, which removes some liquid and makes it denser and thus chewy. ", "This is not about wiping out bad patterns and learning to eat normally. This is about wiping out normal patterns and learning to eat badly. Maybe that's why there is such a psychology and industry involved in weight loss. You have to force yourself to behave abnormally to lose weight, but somehow fool yourself that it's what normal people do. ", "It was delicious. I offered them lunch, but they had already eaten in their van, so it\u2019s not like they would mind if I ate in front of them, but it just seemed strange. ", "I don\u2019t know. This year, TWO hummingbirds showed up early, and there have been great, epic battles already. Hummingbirds are very territorial, and I put out only one feeder, because I like to watch them fight. ", "Although, I lifted weights and stripped wallpaper yesterday, and I can feel it in my shoulders and neck. So hopefully the headache is muscular. Ate well last night - four chicken wings, heap of broccoli with no-fat yogurt sauce, some frozen corn with no butter. Also managed to resist dessert - Bucko had the last of the pound cake and ice cream from Christmas, and there was definitely enough for two. ", "And here\u2019s the other thing I want to say: I am realizing that to me, the eating and possibly the weight are all about control, as far as any psychological factors may be involved. I had a little epiphany about that several months ago, and looking through my journal I see that the only really difficult spot, the only disordered eating event in ten weeks was when I didn\u2019t want to go to the basketball game. Somehow food was a means of taking back control. ", "Way too snug in the butt for comfort, but I could almost conceive of wearing them. It\u2019s such a tiny hint of progress, but more than I\u2019ve seen for a month, so I am considerably heartened and remotivated. 12:32 p.m. I just dug up three giant bushes out of our front yard, roots and all. ", "Gee, really? Heh. Without jeopardizing my resolve to get BACK on plan, I am not going to beat myself up about this. I\u2019m going to allow myself to feel sad and brave and worthy, and marinate in it to my heart\u2019s content. ", "Not something I want to do every day, but I\u2019m glad to have low numbers before vacation. I had quite an annoying anxiety dream about work last night. I think that\u2019s what made me squirrelly when I woke up. It surprised me to even have this dream, it was a combo work/not prepared for the test kind of dream, and I didn\u2019t think I was having any of that type of anxiety recently. Just had the Manhattan clam chowder for breakfast, and I didn\u2019t like it. ", "They don't have enough work to do, they're bored and restless and lonely, and they POUNCE on anyone who comes in the front door. Fresh blood. I can understand and sympathize, but the thing is, I work part-time. "]}} \ No newline at end of file