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[
{
"start": 0.0,
"end": 2.0,
"text": " This is the BBC."
},
{
"start": 17.12,
"end": 19.92,
"text": " Hello and welcome to Podcasting House."
},
{
"start": 19.92,
"end": 22.56,
"text": " If you've never listened before, here's what we're doing."
},
{
"start": 22.56,
"end": 28.080000000000002,
"text": " Every week we play you an episode from a different BBC podcast that we thank you all to give a"
},
{
"start": 28.08,
"end": 33.6,
"text": " listen to and if you like it you can search for it in whatever you use to listen to podcast with"
},
{
"start": 33.6,
"end": 38.32,
"text": " and just hit the play button or whatever you feel like doing. My name is Eli and as always I'm"
},
{
"start": 38.32,
"end": 45.04,
"text": " joined by Riann. Hello Riann. Hello Eli. What have we got today? Now I'm bringing you Flip today"
},
{
"start": 45.04,
"end": 52.72,
"text": " and I am really rather fond of Flip already. Flip. Yeah, Flip. So it's a new podcast feed from Radio 4"
},
{
"start": 52.72,
"end": 57.12,
"text": " and we have a lot of different comedy on Radio 4 and what this does is collects up the"
},
{
"start": 57.68,
"end": 63.839999999999996,
"text": " you might call it more edgy comedy or the new and talented and it offers you the usually a short run"
},
{
"start": 63.839999999999996,
"end": 70.0,
"text": " series of three or four and you should get a delivery of those series about once a month or so."
},
{
"start": 70.0,
"end": 75.03999999999999,
"text": " So we've kicked off with Joe Lysert. Yes, I know Joe Lysert. I mean not personally but I like"
},
{
"start": 75.12,
"end": 80.08000000000001,
"text": " it stuff. Yeah and then we'll have a listen to Joe Lysert and then I tell you what else is coming up."
},
{
"start": 86.16000000000001,
"end": 92.88000000000001,
"text": " Hello this is Joe Lysert's Obsessions. Obsession it's the reason some people have for"
},
{
"start": 92.88000000000001,
"end": 96.72,
"text": " living and the reason Holly Willoughby's bodyguard has a photo of me on the office wall."
},
{
"start": 98.08000000000001,
"end": 103.60000000000001,
"text": " Some people collect stamps, some people collect garden gnomes, I collect stalkers and they're all"
},
{
"start": 103.67999999999999,
"end": 109.75999999999999,
"text": " here this evening. Every week we'll be talking to people about the things they're obsessed by"
},
{
"start": 109.75999999999999,
"end": 114.72,
"text": " and providing a safe space for the famous and they're not so famous to confess their guilty secrets."
},
{
"start": 114.72,
"end": 120.63999999999999,
"text": " So if you want to find out about Aiman Holmes' fixation with Spicy Sauce or E17 star Brian Harvey's"
},
{
"start": 120.63999999999999,
"end": 126.08,
"text": " collection of old towels, you've come to the right place. I will start off by telling you about"
},
{
"start": 126.08,
"end": 131.6,
"text": " just a few things I'm obsessed with. This is something I cannot get enough of. It's the sound of"
},
{
"start": 131.6,
"end": 136.07999999999998,
"text": " Jessie from the pop band Little Mix playing a game where you have to imitate a Jamaican"
},
{
"start": 137.51999999999998,
"end": 142.79999999999998,
"text": " accent. Here it is. Oh, are you? Oh, my name is..."
},
{
"start": 147.76,
"end": 153.04,
"text": " I think I watched that clip about three times a day and I'd urge the listeners at home to seek it"
},
{
"start": 153.04,
"end": 158.0,
"text": " out if they haven't seen it just for the added value of Jessie's face. Hard to explain but imagine a"
},
{
"start": 158.0,
"end": 162.72,
"text": " woman trying to eat a sava loist strapped to her forehead using only her lower jaw and you're not far off."
},
{
"start": 164.88,
"end": 170.32,
"text": " Now this is one of the most wonderful things in the world. This is the sound of Maggie Smith saying"
},
{
"start": 170.32,
"end": 180.72,
"text": " the word delicious. It is delicious. You might think that audio is taken from Downton Abbey but it's"
},
{
"start": 180.72,
"end": 186.24,
"text": " actually just a recording of her having a Greg Stakebaker weather be services. Now we have an audience"
},
{
"start": 186.24,
"end": 192.48000000000002,
"text": " here full of obsessives all ready to confess their secret shame. Audience shout out, I'm a disgrace!"
},
{
"start": 194.96,
"end": 200.72,
"text": " That felt great. We also have some celebrity guests to talk about their own hidden passions as well"
},
{
"start": 200.72,
"end": 206.56,
"text": " as meeting this week's VOP, a very obsessed person who will be sharing the details of their own"
},
{
"start": 206.56,
"end": 211.92000000000002,
"text": " rather unusual area of interest. Whoever I decide has the best obsession of the week, I will be awarding"
},
{
"start": 212.16,
"end": 221.2,
"text": " with this the exclusive Joe Lysett Subcessions tea tray. A tea tray? Why is that you ask?"
},
{
"start": 221.2,
"end": 226.16,
"text": " Because for some reason my email to the producer got auto corrected to tea tray when it was meant to be"
},
{
"start": 226.16,
"end": 233.83999999999997,
"text": " 10 grand. So let's say hello to this week's celebrity obsessives. Comedian Catherine Ryan and"
},
{
"start": 233.84,
"end": 242.88,
"text": " Radio One DJ Greg James. Catherine Greg, welcome to Obsessions. So I feel on occasions like this,"
},
{
"start": 242.88,
"end": 249.04,
"text": " it's very important to ask a relaxing informal question to break the ice. So when did each of you"
},
{
"start": 249.04,
"end": 255.92000000000002,
"text": " last eat an egg? Catherine, remember the last time you ate an egg? I hardwilled an egg and then put"
},
{
"start": 255.92000000000002,
"end": 261.6,
"text": " it into a salad probably three days ago, Joe, three days. Three days. Greg can you beat that?"
},
{
"start": 261.6,
"end": 270.32000000000005,
"text": " I actually had an egg this morning. Wow. Yeah. That got a really great reaction I wasn't expecting."
},
{
"start": 271.20000000000005,
"end": 277.28000000000003,
"text": " I almost patronise you. Catherine, you host a show called How Do You Get So Rich?"
},
{
"start": 277.28000000000003,
"end": 280.8,
"text": " And am I right in thinking that in your case the answer is white-privileent."
},
{
"start": 285.12,
"end": 290.08000000000004,
"text": " So best on what I know about you Catherine, I'm going to guess that your obsession is either the"
},
{
"start": 290.08,
"end": 298.4,
"text": " social reform policy of 18th century Lithuania or carpentry. Am I right? No. What is your obsession?"
},
{
"start": 298.4,
"end": 305.84,
"text": " It's like carpentry. It's Kardashians. Confidence obsession is the Kardashians. For our listeners who"
},
{
"start": 305.84,
"end": 311.12,
"text": " don't know the Kardashians are a reality TV family. Here's a flavour of the TV show keeping up with"
},
{
"start": 311.12,
"end": 318.56,
"text": " the Kardashians to add to your cultural education. Okay, Kylie, so you're moving into your house soon."
},
{
"start": 319.12,
"end": 325.28000000000003,
"text": " Do you know how to do your own laundry? No. That's the Kardashians."
},
{
"start": 328.0,
"end": 332.16,
"text": " So for the benefit of people who don't know who the Kardashians are, like tell me who are they?"
},
{
"start": 332.16,
"end": 340.0,
"text": " To me, there's so much more than just a reality show. They are a matriarchy of shape shifting sisters"
},
{
"start": 341.2,
"end": 343.6,
"text": " who destroy men or turn them to women."
},
{
"start": 349.36,
"end": 352.96,
"text": " Very much a sci-fi program."
},
{
"start": 354.56,
"end": 357.76,
"text": " Can you explain the family tree of them? Because there's a lot of them out there."
},
{
"start": 357.76,
"end": 364.64,
"text": " Oh, there are so many and that's what makes it fun. So Robert Kardashian Sr. defended OJ in the"
},
{
"start": 364.64,
"end": 368.08,
"text": " OJ Simpson murder trial and then... Yes, Ross from Friends. Yeah."
},
{
"start": 369.84000000000003,
"end": 375.92,
"text": " And then he married Chris and then they started having babies right away. They were this rich"
},
{
"start": 375.92,
"end": 382.0,
"text": " family. I love them, Joe, because I think it's become fashionable to disparage the Kardashians and"
},
{
"start": 382.0,
"end": 386.56,
"text": " just say, what do they even do? But you seem to respect them for their business acumen, don't you?"
},
{
"start": 386.56,
"end": 393.28000000000003,
"text": " I think they have great business acumen and granted Kim shot to fame when a tape was released"
},
{
"start": 393.28000000000003,
"end": 399.36,
"text": " like an intimate videotape, but she didn't create that culture. That culture existed and then she"
},
{
"start": 399.36,
"end": 404.0,
"text": " found a way to turn it around and thrive in it. And then I just like them. I think they pay tax,"
},
{
"start": 404.0,
"end": 409.44,
"text": " they support each other. They're really nice and they have political issues that they'll insert"
},
{
"start": 409.44,
"end": 414.88,
"text": " into the show sort of like a Trojan horse. They did a gun control one and they act like, oh my god,"
},
{
"start": 414.88,
"end": 418.08,
"text": " should we try to shoot a gun? I don't know. It's a fun. And I'm like,"
},
{
"start": 420.88,
"end": 426.16,
"text": " I'm sure I heard them say they were pro gun control. But of course they were, oh, you know what?"
},
{
"start": 426.16,
"end": 431.2,
"text": " I talked to some people. It was actually really dangerous. They had stats. So the sounds trivial,"
},
{
"start": 431.2,
"end": 436.71999999999997,
"text": " they've really helped me through some dark times. They don't cry, they get in the gym. That's"
},
{
"start": 436.71999999999997,
"end": 442.32,
"text": " what Chloe did. She started like, wait lifting, I thought, here we go. She's going to be drafted by"
},
{
"start": 442.32,
"end": 451.28,
"text": " the NBA beat him at his own game. Have either of you ever met a Kardashian? Yes. Have you? I have, surely you have."
},
{
"start": 451.28,
"end": 455.12,
"text": " I actually haven't. They don't stroll into radio one. Only when I'm strolling out."
},
{
"start": 455.6,
"end": 461.92,
"text": " Who did you meet? Which one? I met Courtney. She's my favorite one. And she was dating this just"
},
{
"start": 461.92,
"end": 468.4,
"text": " horrible Scott Dizic for a long time. Had three children with him. I don't like the man. I'll be"
},
{
"start": 468.4,
"end": 476.08,
"text": " honest. He's very charming. I will say that. He's annoyingly gregarious. But I just don't like him"
},
{
"start": 476.08,
"end": 481.6,
"text": " as a partner and father. And Courtney is an attachment parent just like I am. She really looks"
},
{
"start": 481.6,
"end": 487.92,
"text": " after those kids. I just love her so much. And then I saw her. And unfortunately I was a little bit"
},
{
"start": 487.92,
"end": 493.52000000000004,
"text": " married at this awards. And I usually am not. It really happened by accident because I'd been doing"
},
{
"start": 493.52000000000004,
"end": 501.28000000000003,
"text": " this Tequila podcast. And then... Oh, we are doing the wrong show. I'm a customer. I went up to her."
},
{
"start": 501.28000000000003,
"end": 505.92,
"text": " And I was like, Courtney, and I thought, see, the trouble with reality television when you feel that"
},
{
"start": 505.92,
"end": 509.84000000000003,
"text": " you're led into their lives and you get to know these people is you really believe that you know"
},
{
"start": 509.91999999999996,
"end": 516.0799999999999,
"text": " these people and you don't. And so I had this era of familiarity. I was like, Courtney, I love you so"
},
{
"start": 516.0799999999999,
"end": 525.12,
"text": " much. You need to leave Scott. A bold intro, I'd say. Yeah. It was not appropriate. It's just like,"
},
{
"start": 525.12,
"end": 530.0799999999999,
"text": " well, I don't know. Why? Where would I go? And I'm like, anywhere. Burn the house down. Leave it."
},
{
"start": 531.68,
"end": 535.6,
"text": " Okay, Catherine, I want to see how obsessive you are about the Kardashian. So we're going to play"
},
{
"start": 535.6,
"end": 541.28,
"text": " a little game. It's called a spot of Keepee Uppy. Now the Kardashian's TV show is called Keeping"
},
{
"start": 541.28,
"end": 546.4,
"text": " Up With The Kardashians. We want to know if you can tell us which of the following storylines are"
},
{
"start": 546.4,
"end": 551.76,
"text": " genuine episodes of Keeping Up With The Kardashians and which are from the BBC sitcom Keeping Up Appearances?"
},
{
"start": 554.96,
"end": 560.08,
"text": " We've changed the names in the Keeping Up Appearances storylines to be members of the Kardashian"
},
{
"start": 560.08,
"end": 563.6800000000001,
"text": " family. So it's not as easy as spotting which ones have higher symptoms and richer than them."
},
{
"start": 564.64,
"end": 571.76,
"text": " Okay, first one, Kim and Chloe by Mason A Fish. Chris tells the family that she wants to plan her funeral."
},
{
"start": 573.3599999999999,
"end": 577.4399999999999,
"text": " Is that Keeping Up With The Kardashians? Or Keeping Up With The Kardashians?"
},
{
"start": 579.1999999999999,
"end": 580.9599999999999,
"text": " Yes, you're listening to Radio 4."
},
{
"start": 582.7199999999999,
"end": 586.0,
"text": " That's Keeping Up With The Kardashians. Totally. Correct."
},
{
"start": 587.04,
"end": 589.76,
"text": " They went to this beautiful burial place."
},
{
"start": 589.76,
"end": 596.4,
"text": " Next one, Kim is searching for her Dream Kitchen Worktop while Chloe thinks she may have athletes"
},
{
"start": 596.4,
"end": 602.8,
"text": " foot. He'll be on the appearances. Seriously? That's the Kardashian."
},
{
"start": 604.56,
"end": 608.48,
"text": " Although, listening to that plotline, I can quite understand why you're obsessed. It's riveting"
},
{
"start": 608.48,
"end": 615.2,
"text": " stuff, isn't it? And let's do one more. Chloe ends up getting stuck on a runaway horse while"
},
{
"start": 615.2,
"end": 621.2,
"text": " the Margates is head stuck in the ceiling. Keeping Up Appearances? Totally."
},
{
"start": 621.2,
"end": 625.12,
"text": " Yes, keeping Up Appearances in case you're wondering and I won't keep you in suspense,"
},
{
"start": 625.12,
"end": 628.48,
"text": " it's Emmett who gets his head stuck in the ceiling. Classic Emmett."
},
{
"start": 630.08,
"end": 634.08,
"text": " Well, you've got a good score, so either you are genuinely obsessed with the Kardashians or you"
},
{
"start": 634.08,
"end": 638.5600000000001,
"text": " like Keeping Up Appearances more than you're letting on. Really, Catherine Ryan, everyone. Thank you."
},
{
"start": 638.7199999999999,
"end": 647.4399999999999,
"text": " Now comes the point in the show where I talk to what we call in the business normal people."
},
{
"start": 648.56,
"end": 651.1999999999999,
"text": " Never met one before but I hear they're truly awful."
},
{
"start": 652.8,
"end": 656.0,
"text": " As our audience were coming in, we asked them to write down any obsessions they have on a"
},
{
"start": 656.0,
"end": 660.3199999999999,
"text": " piece of paper and then ask them to toss it in this bowl along with their car keys."
},
{
"start": 660.9599999999999,
"end": 665.28,
"text": " Let's have a run into round and see what I can find. First one."
},
{
"start": 666.16,
"end": 672.16,
"text": " Oh, Isabelle Diaz Gallagher. We put plants taking photos of plants normally end up killing them,"
},
{
"start": 672.16,
"end": 680.56,
"text": " even xenophytes. Xenophytes. Xenophytes. I managed to kill all my cacti from over watering them."
},
{
"start": 681.4399999999999,
"end": 686.0,
"text": " So yeah, that's... You love them too much. Clearly. You want to drink?"
},
{
"start": 688.3199999999999,
"end": 693.12,
"text": " We are now gardeners, question time. Thank you for your obsession. Isabelle, everybody."
},
{
"start": 696.0,
"end": 703.68,
"text": " Where's Bridget? You've put here, I collect skulls of wildlife. If I see a piece of road kill,"
},
{
"start": 703.68,
"end": 708.24,
"text": " I take it home and let it biodegrade and then I keep what's left of the skeleton."
},
{
"start": 709.6,
"end": 714.72,
"text": " I've got quite a collection. This is an unusual one. What's going on, Bridget?"
},
{
"start": 716.72,
"end": 721.04,
"text": " I like interesting things that I find dead by the road."
},
{
"start": 721.76,
"end": 725.04,
"text": " What sort of size collection are we talking, Bridget?"
},
{
"start": 725.04,
"end": 731.5999999999999,
"text": " Badges, stokes, weasel. This is amazing. When did you start doing this?"
},
{
"start": 731.5999999999999,
"end": 733.04,
"text": " Shrew."
},
{
"start": 735.04,
"end": 737.04,
"text": " And what's the shrew?"
},
{
"start": 737.04,
"end": 738.04,
"text": " Delusions."
},
{
"start": 741.04,
"end": 743.04,
"text": " Where are you from? Errorford."
},
{
"start": 743.04,
"end": 747.8399999999999,
"text": " Oh, that explains everything. Who are you here with, Bridget?"
},
{
"start": 747.9200000000001,
"end": 751.44,
"text": " I'm here with my daughter. She's really weird, isn't she?"
},
{
"start": 759.0400000000001,
"end": 760.64,
"text": " In the most glorious way."
},
{
"start": 761.76,
"end": 765.12,
"text": " What we live off grid in a log cabin. I hope so."
},
{
"start": 767.36,
"end": 769.44,
"text": " Louisa, can I just ask, are you a hostage?"
},
{
"start": 772.0,
"end": 774.96,
"text": " Yes. I didn't choose this life."
},
{
"start": 774.96,
"end": 778.48,
"text": " I remember Paul Swaluiza and Bridget."
},
{
"start": 782.48,
"end": 786.4000000000001,
"text": " Now, Greg James, thank you for coming to the show. Greg, in your career so far,"
},
{
"start": 786.4000000000001,
"end": 790.88,
"text": " do you think you've put to bed the old myth that being a radio won presenter makes you in any way cool?"
},
{
"start": 792.88,
"end": 794.0,
"text": " Well, I'm on your show."
},
{
"start": 797.84,
"end": 802.32,
"text": " You recently completed a Greg Athalon where you climbed the biggest peaks in the UK."
},
{
"start": 802.32,
"end": 806.8000000000001,
"text": " Andrew co-hosted an edition of Sounds Like Friday Night with Liam from One Direction."
},
{
"start": 806.8000000000001,
"end": 808.1600000000001,
"text": " Which one damaged you more?"
},
{
"start": 809.9200000000001,
"end": 818.0,
"text": " The Greg Athalon was amazing. Tell us what you did. It was incredible."
},
{
"start": 818.0,
"end": 821.2,
"text": " Over a couple of weeks, because the beast from the east sort of halted everything,"
},
{
"start": 821.2,
"end": 827.5200000000001,
"text": " I climbed Ben Nevis, Snowden and Scarple Pike and then cycled the distance between them,"
},
{
"start": 827.5200000000001,
"end": 830.32,
"text": " which is just quite a long way. It's nearly 500 miles."
},
{
"start": 830.4000000000001,
"end": 834.0,
"text": " We did it over a couple of weeks and managed to raise a million quid for sport relief."
},
{
"start": 838.32,
"end": 843.0400000000001,
"text": " So, based on what I already know about you, I'm going to guess your obsession is either"
},
{
"start": 843.0400000000001,
"end": 846.24,
"text": " sheep farming in the lake district or murder."
},
{
"start": 847.2800000000001,
"end": 848.32,
"text": " Am I right?"
},
{
"start": 848.32,
"end": 851.2800000000001,
"text": " My obsession is cricket. That's quite a session."
},
{
"start": 852.0,
"end": 853.0400000000001,
"text": " Some cricket fans in."
},
{
"start": 854.0,
"end": 859.12,
"text": " I've only just found out about football, so why should I care about another sport as well?"
},
{
"start": 861.2800000000001,
"end": 865.2,
"text": " Where do we begin? A brief history of cricket."
},
{
"start": 866.1600000000001,
"end": 870.0,
"text": " I have just always been obsessed with it. I think it's because I associated with nice memories"
},
{
"start": 870.0,
"end": 873.84,
"text": " of being with my dad, so we would go and watch a lot of it. We would actually listen to"
},
{
"start": 873.84,
"end": 878.5600000000001,
"text": " a test match special on Radio 4 and I would just probably the first radio I ever heard"
},
{
"start": 878.5600000000001,
"end": 883.7600000000001,
"text": " was just nice, elderly people talking about cricket. And I quite liked it. I was like,"
},
{
"start": 883.7600000000001,
"end": 886.32,
"text": " don't re-know what this is, but I was probably eight or so."
},
{
"start": 886.4000000000001,
"end": 893.36,
"text": " And then I got taken to a couple of matches with my dad and we watched and it was the ashes in 1997."
},
{
"start": 893.36,
"end": 897.0400000000001,
"text": " So it's people like Shane Warn and I worked out who these people were. I was like,"
},
{
"start": 897.0400000000001,
"end": 899.6800000000001,
"text": " these people are superstars. Is he your favourite player, Shane Warn?"
},
{
"start": 899.6800000000001,
"end": 903.12,
"text": " Which is he? I think he's the best boulder that's ever been."
},
{
"start": 903.12,
"end": 907.0400000000001,
"text": " I think he had such a colourful life. He's kind of a fascinating person."
},
{
"start": 907.0400000000001,
"end": 912.96,
"text": " I don't know any of them, so I mean mine's Wayne Rooney, but that's the answer I give for every sport."
},
{
"start": 912.96,
"end": 914.24,
"text": " He played for Australia."
},
{
"start": 914.24,
"end": 915.84,
"text": " He was a fabulous diver."
},
{
"start": 917.84,
"end": 921.52,
"text": " I was really obsessed with being a groundsman when I was a kid."
},
{
"start": 921.52,
"end": 924.88,
"text": " I was like, completely obsessed with grass."
},
{
"start": 926.88,
"end": 932.5600000000001,
"text": " To that extent, we didn't have a very big garden, but we had like a square bit of grass."
},
{
"start": 932.5600000000001,
"end": 938.32,
"text": " And I would try and preserve it and make it sort of make it into a bit of a cricket pitch."
},
{
"start": 938.32,
"end": 943.84,
"text": " I put a shower curtain over it so that the rain would stay off it so that the next day it would be like,"
},
{
"start": 943.84,
"end": 947.2800000000001,
"text": " it's dry, I can play. It was quite a lonely childhood."
},
{
"start": 948.72,
"end": 952.48,
"text": " There was something about it that I just, I really connected with and I'd played a lot on"
},
{
"start": 952.48,
"end": 957.12,
"text": " I was at school and I still go with my dad and I sort of love it as a day out more than anything,"
},
{
"start": 957.12,
"end": 960.88,
"text": " just because you sit and you watch it and you can dip in, you get a bit of the story."
},
{
"start": 960.88,
"end": 964.72,
"text": " I think that's the thing with Test Match Cricket in particular, is that people go,"
},
{
"start": 964.72,
"end": 969.2800000000001,
"text": " well it's five days so boring at the end of the five days, it's a draw, what does that even mean?"
},
{
"start": 969.2800000000001,
"end": 972.8000000000001,
"text": " I always say it's a bit like getting into a properly good novel."
},
{
"start": 972.8,
"end": 976.24,
"text": " And if you really invest in it and you know what all the characters are doing and you know"
},
{
"start": 976.24,
"end": 980.4,
"text": " the little battles that are going on and you know how the story develops and you really get into it,"
},
{
"start": 980.4,
"end": 984.16,
"text": " but I do understand if you're truly passionate about something, I think you've got to understand"
},
{
"start": 984.16,
"end": 989.04,
"text": " why other people think it's awful. And I do, but I try and convince people of it."
},
{
"start": 989.04,
"end": 990.9599999999999,
"text": " So it's basically Kardashians with bats."
},
{
"start": 990.9599999999999,
"end": 991.28,
"text": " Correct."
},
{
"start": 993.04,
"end": 996.56,
"text": " I mean, Kardashians played cricket, would you be interested in the Kardashians?"
},
{
"start": 996.56,
"end": 1000.24,
"text": " Of course. Yeah. I'm awful for trying to make it appear to as many people as possible."
},
{
"start": 1000.32,
"end": 1004.0,
"text": " And I think they do do wacky things like that. They have DJs that go along and play"
},
{
"start": 1004.0,
"end": 1004.5600000000001,
"text": " what?"
},
{
"start": 1004.5600000000001,
"end": 1008.96,
"text": " On the boundary and stuff. So when there's a six or four, they're like, the DJ starts playing and"
},
{
"start": 1008.96,
"end": 1012.48,
"text": " hyping the crowd and they have fireworks and like flame throwers and all that kind of stuff."
},
{
"start": 1012.48,
"end": 1013.2,
"text": " At cricket."
},
{
"start": 1013.2,
"end": 1014.0,
"text": " At cricket."
},
{
"start": 1014.0,
"end": 1014.4,
"text": " Yeah."
},
{
"start": 1014.4,
"end": 1017.44,
"text": " So you played when you were younger, but you also played in charity matches."
},
{
"start": 1017.44,
"end": 1020.96,
"text": " You played in the Test Match Special 60th anniversary match."
},
{
"start": 1020.96,
"end": 1021.6800000000001,
"text": " I do, yeah."
},
{
"start": 1021.6800000000001,
"end": 1023.6,
"text": " And you dropped a catch."
},
{
"start": 1023.6,
"end": 1025.1200000000001,
"text": " I don't know what that means."
},
{
"start": 1025.1200000000001,
"end": 1030.16,
"text": " Well, I sort of am a bit phobic of playing now, because I'm not very good anymore."
},
{
"start": 1030.48,
"end": 1034.16,
"text": " I was quite good as a kid, but when you're 18, I was like, I can't be bothered with this."
},
{
"start": 1034.16,
"end": 1036.0,
"text": " Anyway, it's too much like hard work."
},
{
"start": 1036.0,
"end": 1041.28,
"text": " And then they asked me to come and play these celebrity charity matches and stuff."
},
{
"start": 1041.28,
"end": 1046.96,
"text": " But you play with ex professionals who are still amazing and really so competitive."
},
{
"start": 1046.96,
"end": 1048.72,
"text": " So if you drop something, they are at you."
},
{
"start": 1048.72,
"end": 1052.0,
"text": " And they're going, why are you doing, mate?"
},
{
"start": 1052.0,
"end": 1052.8,
"text": " Why are you dropping?"
},
{
"start": 1052.8,
"end": 1054.4,
"text": " And well, we have a clip."
},
{
"start": 1054.4,
"end": 1055.28,
"text": " So should we just listen to that?"
},
{
"start": 1055.28,
"end": 1056.08,
"text": " Oh."
},
{
"start": 1056.08,
"end": 1058.08,
"text": " If they want to watch it, I'm slipping on."
},
{
"start": 1058.08,
"end": 1058.88,
"text": " Oh."
},
{
"start": 1059.0400000000002,
"end": 1060.96,
"text": " Ah, I got dropped a catch."
},
{
"start": 1060.96,
"end": 1062.8000000000002,
"text": " Just dropped it because I'm on a phone."
},
{
"start": 1062.8000000000002,
"end": 1063.5200000000002,
"text": " What are you doing?"
},
{
"start": 1065.2,
"end": 1066.0800000000002,
"text": " It's really bad, isn't it?"
},
{
"start": 1066.0800000000002,
"end": 1066.48,
"text": " I'm all right."
},
{
"start": 1066.48,
"end": 1067.7600000000002,
"text": " Just dropped a live at Radio One."
},
{
"start": 1067.7600000000002,
"end": 1068.24,
"text": " Sorry, mate."
},
{
"start": 1068.24,
"end": 1068.8000000000002,
"text": " I'll take a look."
},
{
"start": 1068.8000000000002,
"end": 1070.64,
"text": " We'll wrap this up if you want, Greg."
},
{
"start": 1070.64,
"end": 1073.44,
"text": " So, but you might have..."
},
{
"start": 1074.88,
"end": 1075.8400000000001,
"text": " Please do not blow up that."
},
{
"start": 1076.72,
"end": 1079.6000000000001,
"text": " But you might have heard the person in the background going,"
},
{
"start": 1079.6000000000001,
"end": 1080.5600000000002,
"text": " what are you doing?"
},
{
"start": 1080.5600000000002,
"end": 1081.0400000000002,
"text": " Yeah."
},
{
"start": 1081.0400000000002,
"end": 1082.0800000000002,
"text": " That's Michael Vaughan."
},
{
"start": 1083.0400000000002,
"end": 1084.24,
"text": " ex-England captain."
},
{
"start": 1084.24,
"end": 1086.0,
"text": " I mean, it was a low point for sure."
},
{
"start": 1086.0,
"end": 1087.92,
"text": " I like him saying, we'll wrap this up if you want."
},
{
"start": 1087.92,
"end": 1088.8000000000002,
"text": " Like, I'm getting..."
},
{
"start": 1088.8000000000002,
"end": 1090.16,
"text": " It's getting, I feel."
},
{
"start": 1091.1200000000001,
"end": 1094.48,
"text": " Actually, the first international cricket match I'm reading here"
},
{
"start": 1094.48,
"end": 1096.48,
"text": " was between the US and Canada."
},
{
"start": 1096.48,
"end": 1097.44,
"text": " Wow."
},
{
"start": 1097.44,
"end": 1098.64,
"text": " Picture interest, isn't it?"
},
{
"start": 1099.8400000000001,
"end": 1100.4,
"text": " Let's move on."
},
{
"start": 1102.24,
"end": 1106.64,
"text": " We want to play a game with you to explore your cricket obsession."
},
{
"start": 1106.64,
"end": 1109.6000000000001,
"text": " Now, some people say that cricket goes on a bit too long,"
},
{
"start": 1109.6000000000001,
"end": 1111.68,
"text": " and I can tell you exactly how long it goes on for."
},
{
"start": 1111.68,
"end": 1113.8400000000001,
"text": " As you said, a test match lasts five days"
},
{
"start": 1113.8400000000001,
"end": 1117.6000000000001,
"text": " and has the potential to contain 30 hours of actual playing time."
},
{
"start": 1118.0,
"end": 1119.3600000000001,
"text": " So, in this game, Greg,"
},
{
"start": 1119.3600000000001,
"end": 1121.3600000000001,
"text": " I'm going to give you a list of activities."
},
{
"start": 1121.3600000000001,
"end": 1123.1200000000001,
"text": " For each one, I want you to tell me,"
},
{
"start": 1123.1200000000001,
"end": 1125.28,
"text": " does this take longer than a test match?"
},
{
"start": 1126.0800000000002,
"end": 1128.0800000000002,
"text": " Does this take longer than a test match?"
},
{
"start": 1128.0800000000002,
"end": 1130.16,
"text": " Listening to an entire week of Greg James'"
},
{
"start": 1130.16,
"end": 1131.76,
"text": " drivetime show on Radio One?"
},
{
"start": 1132.96,
"end": 1137.1200000000001,
"text": " It's slightly shorter, the week of shows cricket is longer."
},
{
"start": 1138.5600000000002,
"end": 1139.1200000000001,
"text": " Yes."
},
{
"start": 1140.0800000000002,
"end": 1143.1200000000001,
"text": " Yes, your show takes 12 hours, just seems longer."
},
{
"start": 1143.9199999999998,
"end": 1145.6799999999998,
"text": " LAUGHTER"
},
{
"start": 1146.8799999999999,
"end": 1149.1999999999998,
"text": " Watching the original Lord of the Rings trilogy"
},
{
"start": 1149.1999999999998,
"end": 1151.12,
"text": " in its extended director's cut."
},
{
"start": 1151.9199999999998,
"end": 1152.9599999999998,
"text": " Yeah, that did drag."
},
{
"start": 1154.3999999999999,
"end": 1155.52,
"text": " I think Lord of the Rings is longer."
},
{
"start": 1157.52,
"end": 1158.4799999999998,
"text": " No, the cricket's longer."
},
{
"start": 1158.4799999999998,
"end": 1160.1599999999999,
"text": " You can watch all of the Lord of the Rings films"
},
{
"start": 1160.1599999999999,
"end": 1162.8,
"text": " three times over in the time it takes to play a test match"
},
{
"start": 1162.8,
"end": 1164.8799999999999,
"text": " and still have a bit left over to start on the hobbit."
},
{
"start": 1166.56,
"end": 1168.2399999999998,
"text": " Although it's important to know that either way"
},
{
"start": 1168.2399999999998,
"end": 1169.84,
"text": " you're a terribly boring boss."
},
{
"start": 1170.32,
"end": 1171.6,
"text": " LAUGHTER"
},
{
"start": 1171.6,
"end": 1176.9599999999998,
"text": " And, um, cooking 150 packets of Findus Crispy Pancakes."
},
{
"start": 1176.9599999999998,
"end": 1179.04,
"text": " One packet at a time."
},
{
"start": 1182.24,
"end": 1184.24,
"text": " Let's say cricket's slightly longer."
},
{
"start": 1184.24,
"end": 1185.84,
"text": " What about?"
},
{
"start": 1185.84,
"end": 1187.6799999999998,
"text": " No, it takes longer than the cricket."
},
{
"start": 1187.6799999999998,
"end": 1190.32,
"text": " You can only cook 120 packets in that time."
},
{
"start": 1190.32,
"end": 1194.1599999999999,
"text": " Fairly enough to burn the mouths of a medium-sized primary school."
},
{
"start": 1194.1599999999999,
"end": 1195.9199999999998,
"text": " LAUGHTER"
},
{
"start": 1195.9199999999998,
"end": 1199.52,
"text": " The only thing I think you'd like is you can have a picnic to the cricket."
},
{
"start": 1199.6,
"end": 1201.12,
"text": " So you can have your pancakes with you."
},
{
"start": 1201.12,
"end": 1203.68,
"text": " But you can have a nice day out. We should do it."
},
{
"start": 1203.68,
"end": 1204.8799999999999,
"text": " No. No."
},
{
"start": 1206.8799999999999,
"end": 1208.8799999999999,
"text": " Cooking in white Bridget."
},
{
"start": 1208.8799999999999,
"end": 1211.12,
"text": " Oh, now you're talking, actually."
},
{
"start": 1211.12,
"end": 1211.92,
"text": " Final one."
},
{
"start": 1211.92,
"end": 1216.6399999999999,
"text": " Having sex 330 times, this is based on the international average duration"
},
{
"start": 1216.6399999999999,
"end": 1219.36,
"text": " which I think a British people probably bring down a little bit."
},
{
"start": 1220.56,
"end": 1221.76,
"text": " Cricket is definitely longer."
},
{
"start": 1224.4,
"end": 1227.04,
"text": " Yes, apparently the international average time for sexual intercourse"
},
{
"start": 1227.04,
"end": 1229.04,
"text": " is 5.4 minutes."
},
{
"start": 1229.04,
"end": 1230.8,
"text": " I'm not sure. No, must include four play."
},
{
"start": 1230.8,
"end": 1232.1599999999999,
"text": " LAUGHTER"
},
{
"start": 1232.1599999999999,
"end": 1236.72,
"text": " That means you can have sex apparently 400 times in the space of a test match"
},
{
"start": 1236.72,
"end": 1238.72,
"text": " unless you get thrown out by the Lord's Security."
},
{
"start": 1238.72,
"end": 1240.0,
"text": " LAUGHTER"
},
{
"start": 1240.0,
"end": 1242.3999999999999,
"text": " Oh, you've got a special bonus question for you, Greg."
},
{
"start": 1242.3999999999999,
"end": 1243.36,
"text": " Listen to this clip."
},
{
"start": 1243.36,
"end": 1246.08,
"text": " Oh, I'll look down, though."
},
{
"start": 1246.08,
"end": 1247.68,
"text": " Oh, yeah, man."
},
{
"start": 1248.8799999999999,
"end": 1250.6399999999999,
"text": " How many runs were scored in that shot?"
},
{
"start": 1250.6399999999999,
"end": 1252.32,
"text": " LAUGHTER"
},
{
"start": 1252.32,
"end": 1253.52,
"text": " Two."
},
{
"start": 1254.56,
"end": 1256.08,
"text": " Incorrect. I have no idea."
},
{
"start": 1257.04,
"end": 1258.96,
"text": " James, thanks for sharing your time."
},
{
"start": 1258.96,
"end": 1260.32,
"text": " CHEERING"
},
{
"start": 1260.32,
"end": 1261.28,
"text": " Right."
},
{
"start": 1262.8799999999999,
"end": 1265.1999999999998,
"text": " Time to speak to our audience again."
},
{
"start": 1265.1999999999998,
"end": 1266.48,
"text": " Jennifer Hall."
},
{
"start": 1266.48,
"end": 1267.36,
"text": " Oh, yeah."
},
{
"start": 1267.36,
"end": 1268.56,
"text": " So, January, you're from?"
},
{
"start": 1268.56,
"end": 1270.24,
"text": " I'm from Puntipede, South Wales."
},
{
"start": 1270.24,
"end": 1271.4399999999998,
"text": " Oh, God."
},
{
"start": 1271.4399999999998,
"end": 1273.4399999999998,
"text": " You collect small things."
},
{
"start": 1273.4399999999998,
"end": 1275.4399999999998,
"text": " I do. I have some small things for you to look at."
},
{
"start": 1275.4399999999998,
"end": 1277.4399999999998,
"text": " I should like to come and see some of my small things."
},
{
"start": 1277.4399999999998,
"end": 1277.9199999999998,
"text": " Yes."
},
{
"start": 1277.9199999999998,
"end": 1279.4399999999998,
"text": " LAUGHTER"
},
{
"start": 1279.4399999999998,
"end": 1282.56,
"text": " It's like a small version of other things."
},
{
"start": 1282.56,
"end": 1284.0,
"text": " Little tiny things. Little tiny things."
},
{
"start": 1284.0,
"end": 1285.28,
"text": " That's my whole collection."
},
{
"start": 1285.28,
"end": 1287.52,
"text": " That's just a selection of the collection."
},
{
"start": 1287.52,
"end": 1289.2,
"text": " How big is a collection?"
},
{
"start": 1289.2,
"end": 1290.48,
"text": " Um, quite small."
},
{
"start": 1290.48,
"end": 1291.68,
"text": " LAUGHTER"
},
{
"start": 1291.68,
"end": 1293.2,
"text": " LAUGHTER"
},
{
"start": 1293.2,
"end": 1297.36,
"text": " But there are quite a number of things in the small collection."
},
{
"start": 1297.36,
"end": 1298.4,
"text": " Little fork there."
},
{
"start": 1298.4,
"end": 1302.56,
"text": " I think my favourite is this tiny little teacup."
},
{
"start": 1302.56,
"end": 1303.2,
"text": " That was a..."
},
{
"start": 1303.2,
"end": 1304.32,
"text": " And it's got Jim Rittman."
},
{
"start": 1304.32,
"end": 1305.04,
"text": " Yes."
},
{
"start": 1305.04,
"end": 1306.24,
"text": " How adorable is that?"
},
{
"start": 1306.24,
"end": 1308.24,
"text": " That was a present a few years ago from my sister."
},
{
"start": 1308.24,
"end": 1309.44,
"text": " Do you remember by anything, Pig?"
},
{
"start": 1309.44,
"end": 1310.64,
"text": " I..."
},
{
"start": 1310.64,
"end": 1313.68,
"text": " I find normal sized things for day-to-day life."
},
{
"start": 1313.76,
"end": 1315.3600000000001,
"text": " Right. But for the collection, just normal things."
},
{
"start": 1315.3600000000001,
"end": 1316.5600000000002,
"text": " For the magic times."
},
{
"start": 1316.5600000000002,
"end": 1317.3600000000001,
"text": " LAUGHTER"
},
{
"start": 1317.3600000000001,
"end": 1318.8,
"text": " Well, I think they're really lovely."
},
{
"start": 1318.8,
"end": 1320.16,
"text": " They're really sweet and adorable."
},
{
"start": 1320.16,
"end": 1322.3200000000002,
"text": " And I want to collect these things myself now."
},
{
"start": 1322.3200000000002,
"end": 1323.04,
"text": " It's so..."
},
{
"start": 1323.04,
"end": 1323.8400000000001,
"text": " They're so lovely."
},
{
"start": 1323.8400000000001,
"end": 1324.88,
"text": " Jen, everyone."
},
{
"start": 1324.88,
"end": 1326.16,
"text": " APPLAUSE"
},
{
"start": 1326.16,
"end": 1327.04,
"text": " Lovely."
},
{
"start": 1328.8,
"end": 1330.4,
"text": " Where's Sophie Veezy?"
},
{
"start": 1330.4,
"end": 1331.6000000000001,
"text": " Hello, Sophie."
},
{
"start": 1331.6000000000001,
"end": 1333.6000000000001,
"text": " You've mentioned the Kardashians."
},
{
"start": 1333.6000000000001,
"end": 1334.72,
"text": " I love the Kardashians."
},
{
"start": 1334.72,
"end": 1335.52,
"text": " Yeah."
},
{
"start": 1335.52,
"end": 1339.28,
"text": " I would have bit like a step extra to what you did, Catherine."
},
{
"start": 1339.28,
"end": 1341.3600000000001,
"text": " I woke up at three o'clock in the morning"
},
{
"start": 1341.36,
"end": 1343.84,
"text": " and tried to meet the Kardashians at Westfield."
},
{
"start": 1343.84,
"end": 1344.56,
"text": " Ah, yeah."
},
{
"start": 1344.56,
"end": 1346.4799999999998,
"text": " Clocked with the Winter Wrong Westfield."
},
{
"start": 1346.4799999999998,
"end": 1348.0,
"text": " LAUGHTER"
}
] |