transcript/TED_K0pxo-dS9Hc.txt

[0.000 --> 13.960]  All right, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to my passion and to my love and, according
[13.960 --> 17.920]  to my wife, my mistress in life.
[17.920 --> 26.240]  Seven years ago, I embarked on a journey to analyze 5,000 public speakers from all over
[26.240 --> 33.080]  the world, amateurs and professionals, in order to distill and understand what makes a good
[33.080 --> 42.080]  speaker good, what makes a great speaker great, and what makes an outstanding speaker outstanding.
[42.080 --> 50.320]  The result? 110 core skills.
[50.320 --> 60.920]  Good loads of subskills. So what does it look like? It looks like this. These are the 110 core
[60.920 --> 70.280]  skills and the equation is simple. The more of them you fulfill, the greater you are.
[70.280 --> 78.000]  Now 110 skills, that's quite a tad too many to go through in one TED talk, don't you agree?
[78.000 --> 84.880]  So what I've done is I've picked out my absolute favorites and I'd like to show you a demonstration
[84.880 --> 92.640]  of what it can look like. Imagine that this chair is something that you want somebody else
[92.640 --> 97.080]  to believe in. You want somebody else to buy into this. This is your idea. This is you
[97.080 --> 104.840]  wanting to make your voice heard. This gives you two options. Either you're on this side
[104.840 --> 109.360]  of the chair and you're a fairly mediocre communicator, you shoot from the hip, you hope for
[109.360 --> 117.160]  the best and sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. Option number two is that you're
[117.160 --> 121.560]  on this side of the chair and you know exactly what you're doing in every instance of time.
[121.560 --> 128.000]  You know that by taking a step forward, you increase focus. You know that by tilting your
[128.000 --> 134.280]  head slightly to the side, you increase empathy. You know that by changing the pace of what
[134.280 --> 144.360]  you are saying, you increase focus and you know that by shifting yourself lower, you increase
[144.360 --> 153.400]  trust and you know that by lowering your voice, you get anticipation and you know for absolute
[153.400 --> 167.960]  certain. That if you pause, you get absolute and undivided attention. Now the question then
[167.960 --> 173.960]  is can everyone be on this side of the chair? Can everyone become good at these skills?
[173.960 --> 181.560]  What do you think the answer is? Of course it is. Why? Because it's called presentation,
[181.560 --> 187.240]  skills, skills, skills, skills, skills. It is not. It has never been a shall never be called
[187.240 --> 192.880]  a talent. You're not born with a particular gene that makes you brilliant on stage. Something
[192.880 --> 200.080]  you quiet through life. Now as I said, 110 skills, that's quite the number. So what I've
[200.080 --> 206.000]  chosen to do is I've picked out the five, would I say most important skills? Whenever somebody
[206.000 --> 212.480]  comes to me and they want coaching, this is what I focus on. And then I'll actually give you
[212.480 --> 219.680]  four bonus skills at the end as well. Sounds okay? So let's start with two of my favorite from
[219.680 --> 229.120]  body language, which is skill 34 and skill 69. That is not intentional. That's 34. What am I doing?
[230.080 --> 236.640]  What could I be doing differently in this case? Ladies and gentlemen, it is an absolute pleasure to
[236.640 --> 242.240]  have you here today. Good of you to come. What should I have avoided? I should have avoided
[242.240 --> 246.640]  closing my body language because whenever a human being closes their body language, it is a
[246.640 --> 252.640]  sign that they feel threatened in one way or another. So I should have continued with an open
[252.640 --> 257.680]  of body language. So let's have a look at number 69, which looks like this. I'll have to start
[257.760 --> 263.920]  up here. So when a presenter starts like this, they go, what should I do better now? Ladies and
[263.920 --> 269.280]  gentlemen, welcome to one of the most influential subjects known to mankind. Now this will be super
[269.280 --> 274.960]  interesting. We'll be going through this. You'll have you having an amazing time. Wow, it'll blow you
[274.960 --> 282.800]  away. What should I have avoided? Reversing. Look what a doubling correct looks like. It looks like
[282.800 --> 287.920]  this. Ladies and gentlemen, absolute pleasure to have you here. Good of you to come.
[287.920 --> 293.760]  Well, a double correct looks like this. Ladies and gentlemen, an absolute pleasure to have you here.
[293.760 --> 300.080]  Good of you to come. Is there a difference? Of course there is. The biggest difference is in here.
[300.080 --> 305.600]  I can feel a difference while doing those two versions. You become what you are.
[306.480 --> 314.080]  Now let's ask ourselves, yeah, but David, the close body language things. What should I do with
[314.080 --> 319.360]  me hands? How should I put them? And the interesting thing with the close body language is that
[320.720 --> 326.400]  wherever I went, all over the world studying these people, it seems like we've got a general
[326.400 --> 332.160]  kind of locked body language positions. And I'll show you my favorites that I found. We've
[332.160 --> 336.080]  obviously got the classical fig leaf position. Then we have the double bunny position.
[337.120 --> 341.040]  You have the right bunny position, the left bunny position, the right hawkled, the left
[341.040 --> 346.240]  tackle. Then you have the fork lift. You of course have the peacock with flapping elbows.
[346.240 --> 353.840]  You have the major, the merkle, the prayer, and the bigger. One of my personal favorites is the
[353.840 --> 359.120]  the British horse rider. And the British horse rider. It's a person who holds their hands like this,
[359.120 --> 363.920]  puts it just above the chest and it's like they're off somewhere. Oh, God, they're a fox over here.
[364.960 --> 370.400]  And then we found two T-rexas as well in the study. It's such a weird thing presenting like this,
[370.400 --> 377.200]  or like this. Okay, so you mean, David, that we need to have an open body language. Yeah, that's
[377.200 --> 380.720]  what I mean. And I'm not allowed to have them in my pockets, not allowed to have them in my major,
[380.720 --> 388.080]  or the double bunny. No. But what on earth should I do with them then? What you should use them for is
[388.080 --> 392.960]  what is called functional gesturing to show that something is getting better. Well, that something
[392.960 --> 399.120]  is getting less good, or that it's one, two, three, four, five that we are going to go through. Use
[399.120 --> 404.880]  your gestures for what they're supposed to be used for. And what's interesting with this is that
[404.880 --> 410.800]  if you imagine the time we've spent on this planet as our race, how much of that time have we
[410.800 --> 416.240]  spent using gestures and nonverbal communication in order to communicate what we're saying? Is that
[416.240 --> 423.920]  more than verbal? Absolutely. Give me a, let me give you an demonstration of how important it is.
[424.640 --> 429.600]  So I'll say something now, and everything I say will be super positive. My facial expressions
[429.600 --> 433.920]  will be super positive, and the way I say it will be super positive, but my hands will be saying
[433.920 --> 440.000]  the opposite. Are you with me? Because this requires some focus. All of you should learn more
[440.000 --> 444.880]  about public speaking, because if you do that, you will become better. You will grow, and you will
[444.880 --> 449.440]  develop as a human being. People will love your presentations, listening to your arguments,
[449.440 --> 455.440]  and just generally loving whatever you're doing. So do yourself a great favor. Learn more about
[455.440 --> 460.080]  this particular subject, because you'll be thanking yourself for the rest of your life. And
[460.080 --> 464.800]  particularly you have been absolutely incredible, so I thank you for listening here.
[464.800 --> 472.000]  Thank you.
[474.560 --> 479.360]  Now the question is this, did you listen to what I was saying or what I was doing? I believe that
[479.360 --> 483.840]  you focused entirely on what I was doing, and that is the case with body language and gestures.
[483.840 --> 489.120]  If it's not saying the same thing as what you're saying verbally, there's a discrepancy and a
[489.120 --> 498.160]  disturbance in the communication. Let's move on from body language to a couple of tips on voice.
[499.680 --> 503.440]  And the first one I'm going to give you is about pace. So listen to this.
[504.320 --> 507.840]  Ladies and gentlemen, what I'm going to take you through now is incredibly important now,
[507.840 --> 511.200]  and for the rest of your future life, we'll go through the cortex, we'll go through the limbic
[511.200 --> 515.360]  and the retillion system. We'll go through a psychological advanced profile where we'll take you
[515.360 --> 518.800]  through the entire steps of the structure, we'll then look at how that relates to Aristotle
[518.800 --> 523.520]  as Ethos, Loughes and Pathos, and I'll carry on in this pace. Compare that to this.
[525.040 --> 531.920]  Ladies and gentlemen, I'm now going to take you through something that is entirely and utterly
[531.920 --> 540.000]  boring, something that you will have no use of in your entire life, in every second spent
[540.000 --> 548.960]  listening to me now and on will be a waste of time. Now look at your faces, you're like,
[548.960 --> 554.640]  whoa, that last bit, I want more of that, that was super interesting, the useless stuff, yeah,
[554.640 --> 561.920]  I don't want the brain so much, I want the second bit. Why? Because your brains, they react to when
[561.920 --> 567.760]  a person has a low pace, you think that what I'm saying is more important than whenever I have a
[567.760 --> 572.800]  high pace because that illustrates that I don't really want to be there, there are exceptions to
[572.800 --> 583.680]  this rule but that is the basics. So keep a calm pace. My next tip goes on pauses, the pauses,
[583.680 --> 589.280]  the pauses, the pauses are important, absolutely it is. So let me give you a classical rhetorical
[589.280 --> 597.440]  proverb now without pauses and it goes like this. Did you know that every single decision you've
[597.440 --> 601.760]  taken in your entire life and will take for the rest of your life is based on one thing and one
[601.760 --> 607.760]  thing only. If you give that to the people listening to you that is the feeling, that is what will move
[607.760 --> 620.000]  them. Now I'll add pauses and it sounds like this. Did you know that every single decision you've
[620.000 --> 624.880]  taken in your entire life and you will take for the rest of your life is based on one thing and one
[624.880 --> 636.560]  thing only and that is an emotion. Now if you give that emotion to the people listening to you,
[636.560 --> 644.080]  they will take the decisions you want them to take. Is there a difference? Absolutely.
[645.920 --> 654.000]  But you know what? Some people are afraid of the pause. So you go like, whoo! I'm going to do one of
[654.000 --> 663.360]  those. I'm not. I refuse. I prefer to compromise. And you know what the compromise for pauses?
[664.480 --> 675.360]  What does it sound like? Yeah. It's like a scock of sheep when you listen to certain conferences.
[675.520 --> 687.360]  There's nothing among these 110 skills that lowers your ethos and your credibility more than
[689.600 --> 694.560]  because it signals that you don't know what you are saying and where you're going in your talk.
[697.200 --> 703.600]  So let me give you an demonstration. Did you know that every single decision you've taken in
[703.600 --> 708.240]  your entire life and will take for the rest of your life is based on one thing and one thing only.
[712.960 --> 723.360]  And that is a feeling. I think you prefer the one with silence.
[726.320 --> 733.040]  Now those were the five main skills I wanted to take you through. And if you haven't used them
[733.040 --> 738.240]  before and you start using them as a public speaker, they will make a difference to your speech.
[740.560 --> 747.520]  I'd like to treat you to four small skills as well. Just to give you an appreciation of how small a
[747.520 --> 753.600]  skill can be, but still have a great impact. And it looks like this.
[754.560 --> 763.680]  And those were the four skills. Did you follow them?
[765.360 --> 773.440]  Number one was I looked up, which illustrates that I'm thinking, which increases your sense of
[773.440 --> 779.920]  presence for me on stage. The second thing I did was that I did an audible inhale,
[780.640 --> 784.000]  which makes your brain believe that I'm going to say something that's exciting.
[785.920 --> 792.960]  I then combine that with a decaying smile, which means that I smile with my mouth and with my eyes.
[796.640 --> 805.280]  Did you fall for it? Because what I did as well was this. I did it self-lafter. And also that
[805.280 --> 811.040]  increases anticipation of what I'm going to say. So four small skills executed in five seconds,
[811.040 --> 817.920]  changes the state of your mind. I'd like to pick out one of those and just end off with that.
[818.480 --> 824.080]  That is the decaying smile. Decaying smiles has in study shown that you are more likely to be married,
[824.080 --> 827.360]  less likely to be divorced, you're happier, you're more content with life.
[830.000 --> 833.920]  And you actually are more relaxed in situations like this.
[835.360 --> 840.720]  So I asked myself am I a decaying smiling person? And to figure that out, I walked over to my
[840.720 --> 846.560]  computer and I logged in and I looked at all my 60,000 Google photos, they're not all of me, but
[847.200 --> 852.320]  of family members and others. I looked at mine and it seemed like my brain required short of a
[852.320 --> 859.280]  miracle to do a decaying smile, where you smile with your entire face. I thought that's not fair
[859.280 --> 865.120]  and considering the psychological benefits, I better learn this. So I spend not four but six months
[865.120 --> 870.960]  learning how to do a decaying smile. And suddenly my brain was launching decaying smiles in just
[870.960 --> 878.720]  everyday happiness. It's beautiful and I felt happier as a human being. I want to show you what it
[878.720 --> 886.080]  looks like. Now every time I go on my summer holidays, I take a photo of myself and these were
[886.080 --> 896.000]  the last years of those photos. This was 2014, there's no decaying smile. 2015, definitely, no decaying
[896.000 --> 906.480]  smile. 2016, still no decaying smile. 2017, no decaying smile. This year, decaying smile.
[907.840 --> 913.680]  Does it make a difference? Absolutely. It brings joy to you and stability to me.
[913.680 --> 921.680]  Now we've come to the end of this talk and I would like to end with something that relates to boxing.
[921.680 --> 929.040]  You know Muhammad Ali and the likes, they have combinations for when they're going to strike
[929.040 --> 935.520]  somebody, knock out. And the same kind of combinations exist in public speaking as well.
[935.520 --> 942.960]  So what I'd like to show you is this combination. I'm going to start with the number 34, go to number
[942.960 --> 951.520]  8 and then we'll carry on to 69 and 98 to 67 and 18, 22 and 101 and 21. Are you ready for the
[951.520 --> 961.200]  combination? Okay, looks like this. Ladies and gentlemen, I hope that you've had fun, that you
[961.200 --> 971.440]  have learned, but more than anything, I hope that you feel inspired to become a greater public speaker.
[972.320 --> 979.040]  Because anybody can become good, anybody can come great and everybody can become outstanding,
[979.040 --> 989.680]  because it all comes down to one single thing.